How to have More Meaningful Conversations. 💌

[@UnJadedJade]

How do you guys define a meaningful conversation? ✨🤔 Small talk is definitely still valuable and has its place, but it’s so cool when you leave conversations feeling inspired, reflective or like you learned something about the other person/yourself!

[@lydiawilkes6886]

I'm so bad at conversation! I'm very shy and awkward and self conscious so making conversation is hard for me. One on one convos give me a lot of anxiety if I have to keep coming up with things to say. There's only a few people I can be myself around so this video is very helpful to me. Your energy is so calming and it's a pleasure to watch you!! Xx

[@sondercra]

For me, a conversation with a stranger has been meaningful if I leave feeling uplifted or just casually in love with the human race! I was in a local bookshop recently and had a short but lovely conversation with the shopkeeper about the copy of Wuthering Heights that I was buying and he told me about how much he loves the book - his passion was infectious and I left feeling so warm and inspired! Generally I’ve been trying to be more confident talking to strangers recently and I’ve noticed my anxiety around it decreases a bit more each time I have a conversation that has these kinds of positive vibes 💛 Thanks for another lovely video, hope you’re having a wonderful day! 💌

[@kath_gray]

I define meaningful conversations as conversations which leave me feeling connected to the other participant(s). It doesn't have to be "deep", it just has to make me feel like I know someone a little bit better.

[@sripradhaiyengar9980]

This is SO odd! I was just journalling about what I wanted from my life and meaningful conversations was high on my list.. (Synchronicity!? ...) Meaningful conversations...when people have these kind of conversations they are less likely to drift apart with time...(it isn't like we are serving in the army and the hardships that we go through together in itself is sufficient, because in that situation, you know that they have got your back).. these people have got your back, emotionally... I think meaningful conversations are those where you can wonder what "bravery" means to you and if you think you are brave... (Eg) where you think about the meanings and nuances of different feelings and experiences... where you can discuss your flaws and get constructive criticism... I have friends who joke about judging me in these situations, and that really makes the nervousness go away, because you don't joke about something if you are serious about it!...the conversations that help you mature and learn... The kinda conversations that you look back upon as some of the best spent time of your life.. (what is life, after all, without the joy of learning (about the self and others)) P.s. my casual magic today- This Synchronicity!

[@craftykatie2524]

Jade I love these tips in this video!! Can you please make more videos about communication and speaking with others :)

[@dr.baidyanathsoren158]

The worst part of being an introvert is you love making friends but don't know how to initiate a conversation

[@maanya__742]

That's so true

[@0x1_chips]

I hate it so much 😭

[@craftykatie2524]

Yes so true

[@PetsWithFurryPaws]

That doesn’t sound like introversion it sounds like social anxiety

[@mooodlemip4779]

I think people think they are introverted when they aren’t they are just a little anxious/lacking faith in their own social ability. I relate to so many comments like this just not the part saying ‘I’m an introvert’.

[@QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“Most people don't listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” -Stephen R. Covey. One of my fav quotes.

[@jueedhar1545]

Thanks for sharing, I think this can be an interesting journal prompt !

[@bread2096]

this shows so much in people, especially today. like the whole meaning behind people interrupting others is because they don’t care to understand, only to toss their two cents at the person in order to (for the most part) prove them wrong.

[@eueueqi]

woa that is true

[@nicolem4027]

So true

[@nanitharun7]

When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just waiting for their turn to speak ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club.

[@oumaima8917]

Sometimes it’s okay to keep it at small talk, not every conversation has to be about something deep. Also, it can be draining to have deep conversations sometimes

[@Hannah-il8cf]

For me small talk is the one draining and depressing

[@oumaima8917]

i get that if you have a ton of conversations of just small talk, it can be boring. but as someone who doesn’t have a ton of small talk, it’s pretty chill to just catch up sometimes on the small stuff :)

[@bread2096]

i personally find small talk more draining, i feel like i’m grasping straws with the person. i could see why deep conversations could get draining though if your introverted or have been having too many of them.

[@inayashafi9589]

Totally agree. I used to have a best friend who was going through some mental health issues and I always tried to be there for her. But we were relatively young and EVERY SINGLE conversation was deep and emotional and later we drifted away because it became too much for me

[@user-xl2rl8xm9d]

If I can't have deep conversations every now and then, I feel like I don't really know the person even if we've been known each other for ages.

[@nievescalvo2786]

Most of my deep conversations are during the night. It is like the darkness makes us more vulnerable and reflective. And it also happens a lot with my brother. Sometimes one of us says to the other: "I have something to talk to you about." And other days we don't plan it, we just keep talking for hours. It is beautiful. I am so grateful for him :')

[@jueedhar1545]

This made me smile :)

[@emmahawking922]

Beautiful

[@ziggyseyepatch9546]

Oh lord I'd kill to a have a friend as sophisticated as I am. None of my friends want to have a deep conversation.. They either just talk about this one show they like or this one artist that released a new song

[@emmahawking922]

@@ziggyseyepatch9546 😂😂😂 I love ur selflove thu

[@ziggyseyepatch9546]

@@emmahawking922 haha thanks

[@irene_johnson]

I'm really really introverted , but having deep chats with people i value are soooo important to me ,like it's just about finding the right people to talk to lol ,also been loving the ✨summer of self ✨ video's 💞

[@larabezerra5101]

❤️

[@roodges]

I've just watched an amazing video on being an introvert by Lana Blakely called you're not an introvert. Changed my whole perspective on that topic, can only recommend✨

[@irene_johnson]

omg I just finished watching the video tooo ,also Lana is like one of my fav youtubers ever !! ,The video did really change my perspective of how I view myself and other introverts ,thank you for recommending it either way my friend 😊

[@roodges]

@@irene_johnson oh I'm so glad you liked it! You're very welcome, have a lovely day✨

[@blue_wrm]

Let's be friends!!

[@gosiacal5533]

i need this, i don't really like small talk, but i'm also afraid of coming of oversharing when i first meet someone

[@hannalunetta6766]

I love people who "overshare" because I think it's so mich more interesting to really get to know a person.

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

@@hannalunetta6766 yes! idc if it's considered "annoying" to overshare, if the conversation naturally flows there I don't see why you should hold back what you were gonna say because you don't know that person that well. If you find yourself wanting to share something personal that's probably because you already feel safe with that person and feel a connection, so I don't see how taking the conversation to the next level is a bad thing... (of course if you just go around dumping your problems onto people that's just rude lol, but as long as you find a balance I think it's fine to "overshare")

[@hannalunetta6766]

@@darkacadpresenceinblood also I think it is really beautiful to show a person who you are. ofc it wouldn't make any sense to show more than what you are comfortable with. I mean after you shared who you are the person can still decide wheter they like you and it's better to know from the start wheter they match your energy or not.

[@lazyboy1934]

hi

[@kunleidoscope]

"be interested without personal gain" ✨ that's the presence & intentionality i want to bring to every conversation that i enter into

[@sandralil6702]

Hi

[@justoneghost1190]

Something I told a friend who really struggled talking to others was to avoid answering with just one word like yes or no. I said it was fine to answer with that as long as you follow it up with one more sentence. For example, someone would ask "are you into football?" and instead of just saying no and ending the convo I would encourage them to say "no but i really enjoy...". This also helps out the person asking the questions as it offers new topics for the conversation to naturally flow instead of them having to think of new questions to ask

[@kian____]

Ohhh this is a good tip. I could use this. Thank you so much.

[@mitalishinde6890]

Fo me a deep conversation is when u talk with someone without filtering your thoughts and feelings just being in that moment no judging just going where it'll take and just being genuine and authentic and few jokes here and there haha love it 💙

[@Sarah-tc1rt]

It’s beautiful

[@prettyace99]

same!

[@sillygoosegoose]

i once was on an abroad trip with uni and really struggling to find my niche in who to hang around with and felt like i’d had the same awkward small talk conversation with everyone and was feeling very insecure. i then came across this girl who instantly moved past the small talk and went on with really deep and interesting questions, and we very quickly became good friends. i can’t express how much she put me at ease and made the trip to much better for me. big talk people are genuinely the best 🥰

[@ayeshashaikh4433]

this is so great! also, if you don't mind, could you share the questions she asked? because often, i want to have deep convesations but i don't know what to ask lol. my deep questions are usually related to existential dread and idts that's the best way to start a convo

[@rajaharrag667]

@@ayeshashaikh4433 she shares some great questions in the video !

[@bobsi_04]

Oh so true I love to meet people who are just super good at talking. They make me feel so much more comfortable and I always have such interesting converstions with them. I honestly wish I could be a person like that myself haha😅

[@marijapaskeviciute365]

@@bobsi_04 I always think I am annoying because I love to talk. Such comments make me feel less insecure about myself:)

[@hinaye7980]

Something I just know, while talking to most people, is that I am listening and being attentive to kind of everyone (I think) but not them. This just akes me feel like I am not an interesting person or worth listening to, which is probably true but you know, sometimes I wanna feel like I'm worth something. :(

[@jackieb2853]

Your explanation of why "Why?" can be a harsh counter response shows that you have great insight and sensitivity about social interactions.

[@LilianRemet-ju4kd]

OH MY GODDD I just love the part where you said that people are a mosaic of all the people in their life; like people that've hurt them, loved them and everything I just LOVE that! 🤭💓 We can also add books we've read, movie characters we like and generally other content we consume, what'd you think?✨

[@adampartridge1903]

When someone tells me about something, I sometimes find myself just replying with a related anecdote that's about me or my experience, like someone tells me their opinion on something and then I'll just say my opinion, but recently I've been trying to ask a question about what they told me. It's amazing how much people love that. Often when I just reply with a personal anecdote they're not really that interested and the convo stays shallow, but a question tells the other person that you want to know more and it makes them feel so good. Then they'll feel more confident to talk more deeply about what they said because you showed interest. Asking more questions in general, even simple ones, is such a powerful way to make a conversation so much better and it's very related to what Jade was saying in this video!

[@esmad6187]

Somtimes i am feeling like "this conversation is not going anywhere, what am i doing here" That was the thing that i need so much. THANK YOOUUUU JADEE!

[@Sophie-cm2un]

I learnt all this in an optional communication class in school. People were like eww why are you taking that it’s not even a requirement. But I was just interested/ curious and I learnt so much from it. For example the thing that why is a harsh word. I’m just someone who is always very interested in the why and of course I never just asked ‘why?’ but it made me realise I may have phrased my questions a little too harshly in the past without even realising. I’m someone who is very direct and confident in my thoughts and opinions so I don’t mind such questions but in that class I realised it might make others feel uncomfortable. So yeah I learnt lots of new things and it also showed me my strengths in communication such as active listening. But even for the things I already subconsciously was good at, it was valuable to just get everything straight. If your school offers a communication class I would definitely recommend taking it!

[@lizzy434]

"I am just generally fascinated by people. I love how everyone is a mosaic of all the people in their lives. Like the reasons you do most things are because of someone you know, or someone you are close to. And I think that's really beautiful. Like all the people who have hurt you, challenged you, supported you, loved you, all of those people have helped create who you are." -Jade Absolutely love this! I have been trying to figure out how to eloquently word this idea for the past year, so thank you, and I feel the exact same way!

[@lea7489]

I had the best conversation ever with a girl I met for the first time yesterday. An hour in and we were talking about healthy relationships, aspirations and also about what good conversations are to us. We then started going through the 36 questions. What a night, I think I made a new friend 😍

[@TheBeesKnees1993]

I really struggle with this because I always feel like the only reason I am talking to someone is to please them, in the sense that most people simply can't seem to cope with "awkward silence" even though for me, it's not awkward, it makes me feel relaxed not to have to try and think about what to say. I love it when people talk at me. I guess I get that from how I grew up. My Dad would always talk and talk about things he found interesting, so nobody else could get a word in.

[@25KENDALL]

I resonate with this

[@jennywang6473]

Ahhh i just love how you used the mosaic metaphor. I think about that a lot, how we all have an army of people standing behind us and making us who we are today. It's kind of amazing and beautiful

[@Harry.Griffin]

I love this. Small talk is so superficial. My parents have had mental health problems my whole life and I live with my gran and my siblings. Personally, I have struggled to have meaningful conversations, but I’ve recognised they are important to build deep and meaningful relationships. Thank you, for highlighting ways to have these conversations.

[@iiiCupCakeiii1]

A few years ago I was an absolute social disaster. I could not for the life of me keep a conversation going and these are exactly the things that I learned over the years that have helped me tremendously in social situations. And knowing how to have deep conversations can even make you better at handling small talk and it just makes life more enjoyable

[@kasey_068]

A meaningful conversation is one that makes me feel validated, appreciated and leaves me feeling great about my day ✨ I love learning about anything but its hard for me to get to that stage because I tend to overthink and get anxious about myself. I'm currently learning how to value expressing my voice and getting comfortable in a group setting :)

[@lyssgoescrazy]

Hi! I completely relate to everything you’ve just said, especially about overthinking and getting anxious. Learning to value your voice in conversation and feeling comfortable around others are such difficult things to achieve but so important and so, so worth it. This comment really resonated with me and I hope you’re doing well and making good progress with your learning. Stay positive and remember that growth isn't always linear, they'll be bumps along the way that throw you off-guard and they'll be points where you may regress but you WILL achieve your goal, and when you do you'll be so proud :)

[@kasey_068]

@@lyssgoescrazy Hello! Thank you for taking the time to reply and your encouragements :)) I've been quiet for so long I'm not even sure how/when to speak up or even what to say tbh but I've been trying! There have definitely been some hits and misses, so thanks for reminding me not to get too down about it and to keep powering on + growing 💞

[@mersedehsadeghi2216]

I loved the switching from “ why” to “ what” part.💚

[@merlemarianeefernandes6765]

I completely agree about the part where you mentioned 'energy'. When the vibe of the person clicks with me the conversation just flows and you feel like you've know them for a long time altho you've recently met them. The best part about conversations is when you find middle ground that both parties can contribute to...everyone has such different perspectives and that's very intriguing

[@silverklapwijk7963]

really enjoyed this video!! 💞 i just want to add that if someone isn’t making eye contact / fidgeting it doesn’t have to mean they’re not paying attention, as an autistic person i can actually focus More on what the other is saying when i’m making little eye contact (its really hard for me to maintain long eye contact, and the difficulty distracts me from what the person is saying)!!

[@emmaneville5912]

I’m going to be honest, when u said u were doing this series I thought it would be things like getting up early and exercising which of course is good advice but nothing new. This series is so insightful and helpful and specific to things I need. I’m LOVING IT! Thank u for this gift! ❤️ can’t wait for more! 😄

[@nusaibaalmarri2971]

For me, a meaningful conversation makes me forget about the outside world. Its like when your finished from it, you realise that over2 hrs have passed or that you forget to even look at your phone bc that conversation was so engaging .

[@Camillatalks]

This is exactly what I need!! I find speaking to people so hard now I've been stuck inside doing nothing but living in my own world 🌎

[@rowenrivern8319]

i'm autistic af and socially anxious so this is my ideal self that i will try to manifest for the new uni semester: I am confident, and I can laugh with a small crowd. I am relaxed around my friends and I am connected in the present moment with them. I make other people feel relaxed and they think of me as a social butterfly. I make other anxious people feel at ease because I see them and I understand. I am lighthearted and funny and likable.

[@silviadevecchi2630]

the themes of this series are wonderful!

[@UnJadedJade]

Thank you so much! 🥰✨

[@danielwellard7397]

@@UnJadedJade Thank you for an interesting and valuable topic to discuss.

[@jorijnoosterhuis]

I love how the topics of this series seem to perfectly match with what I need, thanks Jade :)

[@emmahawking922]

I'm in love with Comments Community, wish u are all my friends , I'm missing talking to people that we share the same interests a bit , that makes a huge difference

[@UnJadedJade]

These comments make me feel so warm 🌸 thank you for being here!

[@shadorra6627]

I just got into a new school where i didnt know anyone and i could find few people who felt like they could trust me. ike i really wanna be a safe space space for people so this makes me so happy. Trust means so much to me

[@ciaociaociao273]

Thanks for this! I’m usually a really extrovert person but I always feel so awkward when it comes to start conversation so I let the others do that for me and then we speak a lot. With this video I gained more confidence and now I will start more conversation without feeling stupid or something like that

[@maanya__742]

I was looking forward to this one, I hate having small talk and my social anxiety is on a whole another level, I know this will help me a lot.

[@elinacara6]

it’s crazy how every time i watch one of your videos, i feel like we would be best friends

[@naomiworth4551]

I love deep chats but I really struggle with eye contact and I have ADHD so being overly fidgety is not necessarily something I can change. My advice for anyone struggling in this way is to go on a walk or talk whilst doing something - that way eye contact isn't normally expected as often and movement is natural which helps me stay focused. Lovely video Jade! Thanks for your content :)

[@emmalynmaguire]

this is a really good idea! i have adhd as well and i wasn’t sure what to do as i fidget a lot as well. do you have any ideas for this when going on a walk isn’t possible?

[@naomiworth4551]

@@emmalynmaguire Hey! So great to hear from a fellow ADHDer! Yeah if I can't go on a walk I often try and talk while doing something like washing up or cooking as again this removes the expectation for lots of eye contact and also allows natural movement. But if all else fails sometimes I will just be honest with the person if I feel like I can trust them. I'll just say something like "hey I find it tricky to make eye-contact and listen at the same time and I tend to move/fidget a lot I hope that's okay - please don't think I'm not listening." Then the key is not to look at a phone or TV or anything too distracting and to try and fidget with something quiet so that they aren't put off by the noise. That's what works for me anyway - hope it helps :)

[@emmalynmaguire]

@@naomiworth4551 Those are some good ideas, thank you! I’ve been looking for quiet things I can fidget with that won’t be distracting, and I stumbled upon a phone case with little bubbles on it that you can press. I’m excited to try it out and see if it helps. Something I’ve also found is that some of the tips you mentioned work in reverse as well, like being able to focus on doing dishes/chores better if I’m talking to someone while doing it. Thankfully I find I don’t have to explain myself too often, as most of my friends are neurodivergent or have ADHD as well, but when I do people have understanding. Thank you again for the advice!

[@naomiworth4551]

@@emmalynmaguire that's so true! I hadn't thought about them working in reverse like that. Also the phone case sounds cool. Yeah people seem to be really understanding which is lovely. Glad you liked the advice :) So nice chatting to you!

[@Emily-lp7gj]

I know this is late, but one thing I’ve found that works is just to look at the spot between their eyes. It’s less direct for you and the person feels like you are looking at them, so you’re still “making eye contact” with them. I’m not sure if it works for you, but this is just something I’ve found useful myself! I hope you’re doing well! Have an amazing day ❤️

[@manasvisharma4813]

when you said be vulnerable first for a conversation to be vulnerable that made so much sense to me...when the other person is vulnerable and honest it just also gives you the power to be more vulnerable and express your real emotions instead of just saying i am good when someone asks how are you?

[@dontbelieveinez]

hi jade! i just wanted to thank you for everything your videos have done for me over the past few years. a couple days ago i found out i got 10 9s on my GCSEs and i know there was absolutely no way i could have done that without you. not only did you give me the motivation and self-care advice i needed but you also taught be that studying can be cool, fun and something to find joy in - that’s something that will always stay with me.

[@anna-st6un]

The mind of an introvert while listening to the other person: okay, say something interesting, say something interesting, think think. And while you think that you realise that you didn't understand a word of what that people said

[@weronikasasim9544]

You. Are. Absolutely. Gorgeous. And I mean not only outside but the way you think and say things, but the way you get people, inspire or remind people what we really need and how to get it. I am an extroverted person, and I always felt (and was told) that I am great listener, warm and I make people feel warmth, but you uploaded this video in perfect time to remind me and make me realise what actually makes great deep conversation. Ps. I was my absolutely in one of the worst times for me for a long time and your videos are enlightening. I wish more people would listen to you. We would all be better to ourselves and most importantly to each other. Let’s create together beautiful memories. Thank you, you seem like a lovely mirage. I would love you to be peace of mine.

[@shreyanshbetala725]

I recently started following your work. I consciously intend to appreciate the fact that you have such an organic and accepting vibe to you, you are truly blessed and I know you know it somewhere in your heart. This intention of yours to have fun is all over your videos and definitely your smile just accents it all. Keep on the good work..you genuinely inspire me to be a better version of myself:) Thanks!

[@halda241]

Glad that youtube recommend this video for me. Tbh I'm really shy and awkward around new people and have no idea how to talk with them especially if they didn't match my energy and vibe.

[@katnisseverdeen5466]

4:35 to 4:42 is so difficult as a person with ADHD, and I’m always worrying that people think I’m fidgeting because I’m not interested (when that’s really not the case)

[@shaktitrewin6320]

I like these 36 questions as an opener to meaningful conversations! With my boyfriend I have a ritual that every year on our anniversary we ask each other these questions and it's also nice to see how the answers differ and evolve. But the funny thing is that on our last anniversary in October, we were in a nice rooftop bar in Berlin, asked each other the questions and I spotted you in the same bar!! For me it was really a conquest to speak to you because I'm not so self confident, but I did it and told you that you inspire me with every video 🌞 and I was so proud of myself and smiled so much. And the learning for me was definitely: you regret only what you have NOT done and not what you have done. PS: you still inspire me with every video ✨

[@luc2571]

I was just invited out by a few friends I haven’t seen in a few years. We get along great but living in different places and having such different lives has made us have less in common and know less about each other. This video is perfect timing!

[@bread2096]

i have been searching for this, literally could not have been posted at a better time

[@yukidoit]

In general, it really helps to use socratic questioning which are open ended questions that explore the topic of manner! (Ps: thanks for the inspiration to also create my YT channel 🤗)

[@karinpust5387]

when i try to start a deeper conversation i often ask about people's favourite travel experience. this always leads to fun conversations that don't feel very serious. but i guess it really depends on who you're talking to. people around me just tend to be travelers. (it's definitely my go-to topic in a hostel when I solo travel)

[@evie_slaughter_films]

This is such a perfect video for all us introverts! Thank you again Jade! ❤️❤️❤️✨

[@theotherbrief]

Me and my complete lack of social skills NEED these videos

[@saxonstuart4027]

Jade, you are an amazing human! thank you for spreading so much love and positivity. I have always struggled with how to have a meaningful conversation, and it is a necessity for when I start university next month. Thank you for being you! :)

[@Tc-rn8lh]

When it comes to talking in deep discussions that is where I fall short. I rarely talk to anyone about it, including my friends unless they bring something up. With my parents, sometimes, but I seldomly do. Majority of deep conversations seem to be about negative topics, and not all the time do I want to listen to that. For small talk, I can effortlessly spark up a conversation and ask questions to whoever. Although, I feel as though I don’t have a strong or close relationship with people who I thought I initially did. For which, I find saddening and possibly true. I want to be more genuine and start deep conversations when it’s right for me and the other person.

[@mafaldacosta13]

Today I'm meeting again with my group of friends after more than a year of almost never seeing each other and being together as a group. Often after a big period of time separated from someone I feel like some of the trust and friendship we had got lost. Specially during quarantine, we all went through a lot and grew individually and never really had the time to talk with each other about it. But I hope that by applying the things from this video we get to spend a good and meaningful afternoon /dinner together ☺️

[@Ingrid-fn9mo]

how did it go!? i hope it went well :)))

[@mafaldacosta13]

@@Ingrid-fn9mo it went well, thank you for asking :) we're meeting again tomorrow

[@rebeccabintu2141]

6:02-6:19 i legit almost cried because that's 100% what i feel about my life

[@copmark3620]

Hello. How have you been, nice write here.

[@mercyapolot7757]

I really love deep meaningful conversations. I want to know how people are truly feeling, what’s making them happy or sad or anxious, I love knowing it all. It helps me understand the person’s actions better and always brings me closer to the person.

[@duaa7576]

I definitely need to work on understanding and implementing the fact that it’s not always ideal to thrust into a deep conversation in certain environments. Too many times have I instigated more thought-provoking questions at the wrong moment that just resulted in more awkwardness lol

[@renekumar8290]

Same i love deep conversations but when i try to ask a question some ppl just close me off or give a short answer to which im like ok that didnt work...

[@robertyoung406]

Tips for myself - "Why" vs "What is it about this that made you feel like you should do it."

[@julk1]

I think is needs to be talked about so here I am. I have ADHD and a lot of things that neurotypical people see as 'rude' or 'negative' are actually just the way I am. I interrupt people because I know that in a second I'll forget what I wanted to say. I interrupt because I remember something relatable and I want to tell you this to show that I understand, I relate and to feel connected. I know that's not how usually people connect so I try really hard not to interrupt but I don't always succeed. I fidget a lot because I'm hyperactive and cannot just sit still - and it's not something I can change. If I just sit for longer it's a win for me. People that are autistic don't like to make eye contact. Not because they're not interested but because it's hard for them to do so. So please, don't judge others too harshly. They might have challenges you don't know about (I wouldn't tell the first person I talk to "hi, I have ADHD"). And they may be trying really hard but their brain is wired differently. Just please, be understanding

[@kevvonkev]

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!

[@damienmehp7126]

Judging part was so spot on jade. It's kinda like, creating a space outside of you or avoiding your stuff temporarily and focusing on others. And sadly I just do it sm. Nevertheless thanks Jade for the 100000J of energy you radiate through the screen.

[@copmark3620]

Hello

[@destinyamedu9576]

Her energy is so puree ✨

[@DilsJourney]

The best way is to actually listen and understand what the other person is trying to say that way it’s easy to articulate your answers. I agree small talk is definitely unfulfilling!

[@alicjabednarczuk9577]

I'm really grateful i came across this video. I've been struggling with talking to people for a while and I felt like I had a eureka moment while watching this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

[@viktorialle8527]

Okay, but Jade just did it - taught us how to communicate! I was needing this video for my entire life, THANK YOU!

[@paulregan9304]

I'm an introvert who couldn't understand small talk for years. Now, I see it as a process of bouncing unimportant information against someone to see how they react. Depending on the impression you receive from them, you can gauge whether they will respond positively if you share something a bit deeper and more valuable to you. Some conversations never go beyond the small talk, but that's ok, because you can't connect on a deep level with everyone you meet.

[@blueskies773]

Oh, I like this. And looking at it this way I actually prefer it and it makes me feel better about small talk. a gauge of how much I can bring to the table with someone… nice

[@thatgirlwiththecrazyhair2067]

I feel like I've been learning how to do this for years, but not known how to explain it as a "meaningful conversation" I'm currently going through starting (and hoping) to get a ADHD diagnosis. I find fidgeting, eye contact and complete focus can be really difficult. Learning how my body language can affect a situation whilst being unable to completely stop it has been a silent, personal struggle. I've always strived to make spaces where people can be open and honest, I try not immediately have opinions and wait to digest information later on. That can also be super difficult with being impulsive and quick to blurt out an anecdote the second it comes it to your mind. I totally agree with what you said about judgement being the biggest killer of a conversation. Dealing with sensitivity rejection issues can complicate this. If there's anyone who's neurodiverse out there struggling to create meaningful conversations, it's possible! But it takes effort. I didn't realise I was struggling more than average to do what seemed SO obvious. It's been the most worthwhile trait I possess when at times I feel like I have nothing else. Be the positivity and goodness you want to see in the world, and don't beat yourself up in the process ❤

[@_erinocallaghan]

I highly recommend the Were Not Really Strangers card game! It’s amazing for vulnerability, connection and really learning something about people you love - and realising we are more similar than we think, and just human experience alone brings us together. The best thing is that it’s allowed to feel forced and a little uncomfortable at first because it’s part of the game but gradually the conversation becomes more natural for all people and I always feel a little lighter and a little closer to my friends after consciously opening up to them

[@the_originative_author3893]

I literally needed this!!! I was wondering about this yesterday night after trying to talk to someone I find interesting at a meet up yesterday. This was super helpful! Thanks Jade 💚

[@everyoneroasted]

am tired of social anxiety making me stuck in life i decided to vlog about it in public and put it on youtube because it somehow motivates me to overcome it, i'm constantly thinking about making them private but if someone with social anxiety found it helpful or inspiring then it's worth it for me

[@pippa1515]

Sometimes a meaningful conversation does not even has to be about a deep existential topic for me. Sometimes there are these times with silver linings and you are having the same energy as other people and everything that you talk about or that happens has meaning or becomes meaningful.

[@hanasikova8634]

I honestly find it most useful to try my best to find a common topic, something to share ideas and opinions about (favorite TV show, a city we both visited, restaurant/food suggestions (especially for people with "unussual" diets - instead of asking why someone is vegan, ask them for their favorite recipe!)),...). I feel weird about the whole "how did it make you feel?" types of question, shifting the attention to a "third thing" makes people comfortable to talk.

[@alya_kuz]

i don't speak English well, so i haven't understood mostly part of this video, but i feel u say inspiring words, that help to people.

[@rici-1858]

This video was a reminder to text a dear friend i haven't connected with in weeks.❤

[@blueskies773]

You seem so warm and easy to talk to. Thanks for the helpful advice

[@w_julia]

off topic but honestly, Jade is probably the best example (maybe next to Greta Thunberg) that age is never the decisive factor for how wise a person is! I'm just in awe at how much life-experience one can have at this young age lol 😂❤️ love the series xx

[@yogitagetsit]

I have very recently discovered your channel,Jade and I AM IN LOVEwith your videos. You exude such comforting energy through your videos. I feel like a friend is talking to me. I'm so excited to be a part of your youtube journey. ❤️

[@jueedhar1545]

Welcome to the fam Yogita ! It sure does feel like a friend talking

[@yogitagetsit]

@@jueedhar1545 Thank you ✨

[@thomasmineo]

Great video, glad to hear someone else talk about the loneliness from shallow conversation thing. Sometimes I can feel like others don't even want to have meaningful conversations.

[@kevvonkev]

I AM LIT OBSESSED WITH YOUR ENERGY

[@yeet7352]

personally i don’t know that body language and energy is all that important, i am very extroverted and have never had a problem having deep or shallow conversations with people… but i also have adhd, which means i fidget loads, i struggle to make eye contact and i don’t always appear to be listening - never mind active listening - which are all things she suggested to avoid. i honestly just think it’s about you, if you have something interesting to say and the person you’re talking to does as well then a deep conversation will come naturally no matter what, sometimes you don’t click with people and that’s fine, no amount of trying will create that connection because it’s not there.

[@Meme_Schooled]

hey jade! I am big fan of you, I love your content. I love your styles and aesthetic. and I have to say you literally look like real-life Cinderella right now.

[@flyingroses]

I absolutely loved the intro and your energy throughout the video! there's one friend that is really precious to me but I feel like we're not that close anymore because we do not talk as much as before, and I'm scared I'll lose her as a friend some day, but I hope that by having more meaningful conversations we can grow together instead of apart so thank you for your advice! ✨

[@bobsi_04]

I personally feel so much more connected after having a really meaningfull conversation with my friends. So maybe its really gonna help you too. I Sure hope so!🍀😊

[@flyingroses]

​@@bobsi_04 thank you for your comment! I met up with a friend yesterday, and we had those automatic associative conversations, and at one point I became aware of it and I could ask a question that wasn't too deep, but beyond surface level. It made me realize how quickly my subconscious takes over a conversation, but I'll do my utter best to change that! ^^ thanks again for you wishes

[@Youtuspace]

Really interesting perspective on the word ''why''. It's kinda like my favorite word. I use it a lot talking with people and I feel they feel attacked and I don't understand why lmao. Going to try asking questions in another way :D

[@Youtuspace]

and yea most of the times when I use it it's because I don't understand their point of view. What it's wrong about they defend it me? It seems like I want them to prove me something that's it?

[@renekumar8290]

This acc made me think about why i am a deep person naturally so thank u for explaining this jade!

[@Lauraviw]

Thank you for this series Jade, it’s amazing ❤️ I took myself out on a date last week, and had the most amazing day ✨I would never have done this without you as an inspiration 🦋

[@Sophie-cm2un]

That’s so great! What did you do?

[@Lauraviw]

@@Sophie-cm2un it was!! I got myself a nice iced coffee and some food and went to the park, and just sat there reading a book in the sun ✨ felt so great!

[@Sophie-cm2un]

@@Lauraviw awh sounds like a dream. I’m looking for inspiration because I want to start doing nice things alone. I’m thinking about visiting museums because my friends either don’t always seem to be interested in arts or they want to stay for just an hour or so and I want to stay longer. But that’s also a great idea: I love iced coffee and reading and who doesn’t love the sun? hahah although you can’t control the weather of course.

[@Lauraviw]

@@Sophie-cm2un yes, I feel the same way, why wait for other people if you can have a great time by yourself right? Museum sounds perfect to go to by yourself! and also a good one when its raining😊

[@ohohnenyeoo2654]

@@Lauraviw what book were you reading?

[@howisgamora_]

Jade has such a beautiful soul :)

[@rawanhegazy8931]

The problem is that most of the times when I tend to have a meaningful conversation people share the dark and negative side in themselves and this sucks my energy, so I stick to small talks so that my energy remains and my positivity not being affected by people's negativity 😕

[@emmahawking922]

that means they trust u , try to see the positive lessons behind it ^^ , u will never find a person without a dark side , try to share yours and help them move on

[@ayeshamoeen6432]

I understand you and this happens to me so much. I'm known for being comforting and giving the best advices in my friend circle so people often come to me and discuss their matters but no one hardly asks me about my day. I love being helpful but it sort of gets a lil tiring at one point and I'm a sensitive person too so I absorb all their negative feelings and then I'm left alone afterwards. I need people who would look after me and care as much as I do so I can feel what it's like to be on the receiving end. You feel me?

[@ancythomas4704]

@@ayeshamoeen6432 I get you. I feel like they think you don’t have ur own problems cos u seem to help everyone else with theirs.

[@emmahawking922]

@@ayeshamoeen6432 wow beautiful , I see it more now thank you

[@rawanhegazy8931]

@@ayeshamoeen6432 yes oh my God that is exactly how I feel, I listen to everyone but no one listen to me and this is exhausting That's why my circle is becoming more and more smaller because I realized that non of the people I helped actually cares about me🤷🏻‍♀️

[@x._tricia_.x2032]

Jade is really helping me to grow in life...and I just discovered her channel 15 mins ago.😎

[@escaroligasquet]

Thank you for sharing this video, I was recently having issues finding myself having more meaningful conversations and this video brought peace to my heart ❤️. This is beautiful.

[@amnaibrahim9374]

You are the most amazing person ever, I overly fond of you 🤍🤍🤍

[@maria-electrapauli7006]

My go to "small talk to meaningfull conversation" question is "what music do you listen to".. If there is ever going to be a connection with the other person I will know based on their answer. Based on their answer to this question I can at least tell wether or not they are in the mood for a deeper and more meaningfull conversation or just want small talk

[@chloetaylor6789]

JADE! You are one of the only KZbinrs I've came across that I actually enjoy listening to and watching. Although your on my screen, I feel like I relate to you and I'm with you😂🤷‍♀️ I appreciate all your videos, and the thought and hard work you put into it all, aswell as studying etc. You really encourage me, thank you🥰💖

[@Sophie-cm2un]

I think it’s important to ask questions and not just talk about yourself but sometimes the conversation just gets stuck. Like you asked someone a question and they answer it but they don’t ask a question back and you don’t have another question for them. Or if you already asked multiple questions and you don’t want it to sound like rapid fire questions. In that case it’s also okay to start talking about your own experiences without anyone asking for them. Make your story the right size: not too long, the other person gets bored and it isn’t a true conversation anymore, more like a monologue no one has asked for, but also not too long, your story must have some content and has to be valuable and meaningful. Then maybe that other person asks you further questions about it or you just simply ask things like: “how do you feel about that?” Or “ how is that for you?” People tend to feel selfish for talking about themselves in my experience but they often have truly interesting stories and I never would have thought about the question that story would have been the answer to.

[@divinerose8578]

The way she talks sounds like a smart person 😁.

[@copmark3620]

Hello.

[@rhonasleath7394]

This is IT 👏👏👏

[@luvvreni]

i just made a new friend and i’m terrible at conversations so this will be very helpful!

[@tamaravaliczko]

Dear Jade! You are so impressive, thank you for being here and trying to help! 💛Any chance you make a video about how to make friends at uni in the first year? I will start in september for the first time, I am extremely terrified!

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

Good luck with uni!

[@lilybrown3347]

This series is just incredible. Jade, you're such a beautiful human being