UPDATE: Called Off The Wedding After My Fiancee Asked For Open Marriage... Relationship Advice

Alright folks where to start, this one is tough to type and the paws are shaking as I'm doing it. As it says in the title, me and my fiancee (ex?) are 34 and 27 respectively, have been together for nearly four years overall and are a year engaged. I'll be totally honest here, just before we got engaged she had an emotional affair with a bloke that she worked with (I only found out because one of her friend's BF contacted me and said that he overheard the friendgroup discussing it). I confronted her at the time, and after a good bit of arguing and hassle, we came to an agreement to let it go.
Story 1:
Update: Me(34m) and fiancee(27f) I am in the process of calling a halt to our wedding as she has asked for an "open" relationship.
Story 2:
I suggested an open relationship and I think I just ruined my relationship
Story 3:
Insecure GF Caught Flirting
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
CO.AG Music : • Peaceful Ambient Backg... For the background music
#Cheating #OpenRelationships #RedditUPDATES

[@redditoutloudrelationships1430]

Story 1: UPDATE 4:26 Update: Me(34m) and fiancee(27f) I am in the process of calling a halt to our wedding as she has asked for an "open" relationship. Story 2: 7:31 I suggested an open relationship and I think I just ruined my relationship Story 3: 10:40 Insecure GF Caught Flirting

[@hanamohamed3933]

شششششش

[@MONKEYDZETS]

I swear it's always these women it's literally always women who get sweet talkin to some open relationship literally literally every freaking story out here is usually some guy talking to some girl then she runs off to her boyfriend and be like you want an open relationship

[@michaeltaylor1936]

She's for the streets

[@Runningrampage25]

Once again the power thrust disappeared...

[@zoe9190]

if you want an open relationship its called being single

[@Ironman12221]

just being single with extra steps

[@Mr.Plant1994]

It seems like it’s usually a one sided agreement where someone wants their cake and to eat it too.

[@juliancain3872]

@@Mr.Plant1994 Nothing wrong with that, so long as they understand their partner may (proabably will) not want anything to do with it.

[@jeffclarke929]

ok so its one thing if both people go into it poly, i know several couples that make that work. but its fucked up to push that on someone else

[@davidbrown7589]

Open relationships are stupid as hell, why even bother. She should look into the porn industry, that way she can get paid for taking every man that pops into her face.

[@SadGuyLuke]

Asking for an open relationship is kind of wild. “Can I sleep around with whoever I want while you provide meals and shelter”?

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

Exactly!! Some people want the security of a relationship/marriage while simultaneously having the excitement of being single.. and WHY do so many of those suggestions start with “My friends told me..”!?.. If my friends would talk like that and tell me to do so too I would tell them to go ahead, but keep me out of your nonsense. And then find new friends!

[@SadGuyLuke]

@@NewGothOnTheBlock remember, if long periods of no intimacy leads to asking for an open relationship, the relationship was already open just not for you and they now want your permission like it’s retroactive

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

@@SadGuyLuke Its the truth! They just want permission after the fact for the future..

[@Exxperiment626]

@@NewGothOnTheBlock My bad I commented on the wrong video.

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

@@Exxperiment626 oh Thats oké 🙂 was a bit worried for a minute.

[@sosamma090]

If my girl calls me insecure over my concerns, she can be somebody else's girl

[@SnowyWolborg]

On my momma, cuh! She can take that somewhere else!

[@leto1178]

Man up, move on, deal with your insecurities so that you can become a nice doormat.

[@Niveous23]

shaming language is the bread and butter of the manipulator. good for you, don't fall for it!

[@JohnSmith-wx9wj]

I always say sneering isn't an argument.

[@aikou2886]

Chances are she's already somebody else's girl, she just needs you to be around for financial and emotional support.

[@anthonym6119]

He should have never gotten engaged after emotional affair.

[@ashmikray]

Anthony M yeah same

[@BetaBuxDelux]

Exactly

[@msajib2008]

Ikr? She had an emotional affair and instead of punishment he rewards her with a proposal? I can see why she thought he was a pushover cuz he is one. He's a weak dude.

[@severepayne72]

i know, what an idiot, she is bad to reward her a prize of an expensive ring wtf

[@DEATHRAGE157]

@@msajib2008 at least he learned from his first mistake.

[@rollothecat2010]

Why get married at all if a person wants to have a bunch of affairs?

[@tk-jv4zd]

wamen are crazy af

[@absolidesto3359]

Because marriage lost it's meaning, all these women want, is a big party where they are the main character.

[@SC-zq6cu]

Husband's bank account. Without marrying the man she can't have unrestricted access to his finances. Want affairs or not, a woman's gotta eat and being known as a hooker will limit her from getting access to jobs with higher income because of negative prestige. Besides working itself is a difficult thing. So shoot two birds with one stone and have an open marriage with a well off man. Get all the sex of a hooker and all the finances of a high pay job. Win-win. Nice, right ?

[@NineM_YorHa]

@@saintoflastresorts2272 not every women will ruin your life, it's the fact every women can, that's the issue

[@mr-vb3id]

@@NineM_YorHa yep. the system makes it so easy for them.

[@eyesofnight]

Is it just me or does manning up never seem to benefit the man?

[@peteranon8455]

This is absolutely true. Anytime someone tells you to "man up," realize they're just trying to get you to do what they want. You're McFly, and they're some reincarnation of Biff going "Are ya Yellow?"

[@Mastervading4306]

Its shaming language.

[@jordandennis6794]

It never does

[@WackRusDud]

To me, "man up" means "calm the fuck down and think about the kind of shit you had gotten yourself into and how are you going to get out of it"

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

@Morgan Pierce that sucks

[@elmaquiavelico5709]

He did the right thing.

[@daniellasalawu7349]

Exactly

[@fireiron369]

No He’S wRoNg! ThE wOmAn Is AlWaYs RiGhT¡!¡ I wonder if that wife has an onlyfans account 🤔

[@BushidoBrownSama]

Finally

[@jokerlegend7168]

*Me agreeing with you not having watched the video at all.*

[@chrismoreno7181]

She belongs to the streets.

[@darrylblackshear710]

If you think you are going to get bored with sleeping with just one person for the rest of your life, The answer to this is simple. DON'T GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP. Just date. Why is this so hard????

[@zibix4562]

Probably because he would be a meal ticket. It is harder for women to get in relationships later in life without it being with a much older man.

[@Norinia]

Because they want to bang the people who don’t want to bang without knowing the relationship is solid, not just a f*ck toy.

[@darrylblackshear710]

@@Norinia Sad Dam reason to F$@k up someone's life! What the f#!k is wrong with people!!!!!!!!

[@aikou2886]

Because they are nothing but fucking hypocrites. They want the security, stability and benefits of a commited relationship/marriage but at the same time the thought of commitment and seeing the same person everyday disgusts them.

[@chriswoodard8497]

I've been in an open relationship for 3 years, it has in no way affected our sex life and I get 3somes from time to time as well as generally living like I'm single still.

[@jamiewulfyr4607]

An "open marriage" is an oxymoron.

[@hornetguy9063]

Open marriage is basically “one partner has a higher sexual market value than the other, so said partner wants to exploit it”. Seems without fail to be a woman’s idea when younger and a man’s when older. It’s basically “I want a fallback in case my sexual prospects dry up”. And it’s disgusting.

[@frank-m.senwolf5601]

Oxymoron: when your wife says...you have the "BIGGEST" around the neigtborhood...

[@kos2919]

@@hornetguy9063 and when the man can get a lot more girls than her she got mad and want close relationship again.

[@Wonderlandish]

@@hornetguy9063 "without fail" is falling hard into fallacy, I broke up with my ex (19M) almost a year ago when he did suggest that, while trying to cheat on me with friends at the same time He actually got no one and ended up alone, and I was getting rid of that toxic guy and entering my dream college, so my single-ness became my peace and his became his own nightmare (dude still makes fake ig accounts to send me messages weekly to this day, which is weird as hell and even more because I never answer) Idk, some people are just dumbasses

[@hornetguy9063]

Alice Liddell well clearly he’s an idiot because unless you’re particularly good looking as a Man, that animal house-style life of scoring tons of women doesn’t happen. I know from experience how this stuff works. Couldn’t get a woman to notice me when I was 19. Almost 35 now and rather than desperately trying to get one to like me, I’m inundated with options and find like 80% of them annoy me lol. Given that he wanted an open relationship, he still clearly wanted to keep you around. If I were his older brother, I’d have happily told him to not be an idiot and stick with a good thing, because the result you mentioned could’ve been seen coming from a mile away.

[@ian7064]

Story 2: Women will literally be in a happy, committed relationship for 10 years and ruin it in the span of a few minutes bc some random guy they just met mentioned an open relationship

[@Beowulfpanumbra13]

Happened to me about 2 years ago, she ended with a coworker.

[@feliperodriguez6885]

She was banging that dude she just wanted permission to cheat.

[@bepolite6961]

She is talking shite, she was into the other guy, she wanted to or is already screwing him, she was looking for away to do it without consequences.

[@Urbansilverback]

@@Beowulfpanumbra13 damn sorry bout that bro

[@dawnmidnightsun2521]

Eex hubby ruined a 3 year marriage and right after I got pregnant with our first kid because we were in SK and "all the other guys" were sleeping around with the local hookers. He upped the anti once our kiddo was born by sleeping with other (at the time depolyed) military guys wives. His excuse was that he couldn't get any action from me because the complications after my c section made sex horribly painful for me. Dropped his ass pretty damn quick.

[@brianjeffrey1913]

I've lived with two different couples that were "open" and both times the relationship ended within a year. Never cheated on a gf but if you start thinking about it it's already over

[@coffeeaddict5265]

Were you the roommate or involved in the open relationships?

[@brianjeffrey1913]

@@coffeeaddict5265 just the roommate I've always been a one gal at a time type guy.

[@joemomma2189]

Thinking about it is fine- fantasies are fine cause its in the mind, or hell, write and vent it- but learn to separate 'Fantasy' from 'Reality'

[@aikou2886]

Same. Even if they last longer it's more than obvious everyone involved is fucking unstable and longs to normalize their degeneracy. The worst part is that some people are fully aware (and stay because they think nobody else would want them) but instead of addressing thw issue they just decide to stay.

[@CxsualtyGaming]

This is such a fucking fallacy. Most relationships end. So, to use your personal experience of TWO open relationships ending, as the causation being the “open” part is ignorant at best and unbelievably stupid at worst. If you can’t figure these basic fallacies out yourself, I truly feel bad for your critical thinking skills.

[@Locomotion-uz4ly]

Second story: I suggested an open relationship to my BF. I met another guy... My BF asked me "Have you met another guy?" I said "No?" Case closed. NEEEXT!

[@beckah86]

I don’t remember her saying anything about her friends sexually he could be gay for all we know most likely she was manipulated into believing that and it scared her abit ... and no I would say the same thing if she was a he that doesn’t matter... she doesn’t recognize it as being manipulative so she wouldn’t say anything about it... he scared her more with him then her but still with both ... she trusts him and he used that trust to twist her mind ... and he could be interested in the bf not the girl if he’s even interested in one of them ...

[@davidjones8942]

Awesome comment: Call me crazy, but I think your 2019 started offtremendously. Imagine spending years with this girl. Imagine marrying her. Imagine combining your finances with her. Imagine having children with her. IMAGINE THINKING YOU HAD CHILDREN WITH HER WHEN YOU ARE RAISING HERS AND HER LOVER'S CHILDREN AS YOURS!!!

[@brianbarber5401]

@@beckah86 the whole post comes off as her trying to make herself sound altruistic and asking this out of concern for him. It also sounds fake and deceitful as hell.

[@severepayne72]

Forgiving an affair is not manning up, you are doing exactly what she wants, it shows who really wears the pants in the relationship, she gets her way and the guy gets screwed, stop calling it manning up, its called simping

[@ULTIMATZEKROM]

100% this

[@ArthurRex131]

Yeah, I don't agree. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. I've forgiven people of transgressions against me (not cheating, thankfully) and have simply decided not to have anything to do with them anymore. Plenty of men whose stories are told on this channel have done the same.

[@ULTIMATZEKROM]

@@ArthurRex131 "Forgiving a transgression means he's a doormat" isn't what he said, though.

[@gibblets17]

@@ArthurRex131 he didn't say that tho. He said "they" decided to drop it. So nothing was addressed. Would be like forgiving someone for stabbing you in the back without them assuring you it won't happen again. Then they seem to be sneaking around and standing disturbing close to your back with a knife....

[@supersonicwe]

@@ArthurRex131 You have to understand, its never a good idea to forgive cheating

[@busolatemi]

Why bother to marry if you want to be with multiple partners? Marriage is not a must in this time and age. Besides,how do you want to force a man into an open relationship when he obviously not into that kind of thing?

[@magaolizard]

True. Marriage is a huge commitment to a single individual, but people think it's just like a job where you can change it if another opportunity shows up.

[@manuwakebbie6749]

@@magaolizard agreed

[@jamalhubail6020]

If a woman wants an open relationship. She should work as a prostitute where she can meet with lots of men and give her money. It is better than doing it for free.

[@tardislady9546]

@@jamalhubail6020 I do not condone cheating, FOR EITHER GENDER, and sleeping around is risky, for either gender. However, to say that a women should sell herself, and place herself in that level of danger, that shows you to be a neanderthal in your thinking. Would you suggest that a MAN be a prostitute? Your double standards are sickening. I know you will either ridicule me, patronise me, call me a string of names, or hurl abuse.

[@shurik3nz346]

@@tardislady9546 if you wanna sleep around and want money...there aren’t many jobs that do both.

[@cafeta]

if she ask for open marriage... you marriage is OVER!

[@maam-yj8ph]

Exactly. What marriage?

[@tardislady9546]

Yet you would demand that she accept it, without question, if YOU wanted the 'open marriage'. Sickening,. but typical of Reddit, double standards.

[@cafeta]

@@tardislady9546 The average man don't benefit from an open marriage. Is you are a Chad or Tyrone you don need/want to get married.

[@tardislady9546]

@@cafeta Clearly you cannot read English, only American. The clue is in the name Tardis LADY.

[@cafeta]

@@tardislady9546 I am venezuelan 🤷

[@devnotes00]

The emotional affair should've been a major red flag that the relationship wasn't going to work out

[@FerunaLutelou]

"Emotional affair" are just code words for "we fucked, but we won't admit it".

[@aetank_yyteawu3436]

It seems like a good bit of people use their “heart” to see, instead of their f*cking eyes. “Love is blind” yes, but you aren’t.

[@decembersveryown5935]

Typical male reddit story, Ive been with my gf for 4 years. She is my world. I caught her cheating with cowoker/friend/brother. I confronted her and she admitted it. Said it won't happen again. 5 minutes later I caught her setting up plans to go see him at a hotel. What should i do? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@lonewanderer1328]

@Translator OfKenga they’ve been groomed to think the way they do. Fed the lies and believed them

[@Pincuishin]

lets be honest majority of reddit are literally betas groomed to be door mats.

[@djjukeboxhero6491]

Hoes be wild'n

[@williambourque926]

100% Men nowadays are not encouraged to have standards or boundaries. Most of them are doormats.

[@tk-jv4zd]

they only want a housemate not a husband

[@piffNkush456]

Whenever I hear women saying they dont want u to be controlling I really hear women saying they want to cheat and not be questioned about it.

[@gelcoliva6314]

yes... avoid woman like that

[@videofan1010]

No. No one should control anyone else regardless of gender.

[@kuuryotwo5153]

@@videofan1010 You have a lot to learn if you haven't learned to decode that basic bit of language twisting. Piff is right, that's exactly what it means when someone says they think you're 'controlling.'

[@Yoyo-rc5sv]

Women call you ‘controlling’ when you put boundaries under the behavior that’s conducive to cheating. “No clubbing”, “No slutty friends”, “Less male friends” etc. are usually things that lead to someone cheating. When you try putting boundaries around these typa stuff it’s controlling, and you being insecure😂😂which is false because insecurity is reactive(E.g; reacting to dudes flirting w her in the club) whereas not being insecure is being proactive(E.g; not going the club in the first place)

[@maam-yj8ph]

When a spouse stops you from meeting with non-toxic family members and friends that love you and try to support you, that's controlling. When your spouse asks you to avoid family members and friends that are toxic, that's called being concerned for your health and well-being. When your spouse wants you to not be in clubs partying and having casual sex with multiple partners, that's called having morals and important jobs to do the next day and not having unwanted children and STD's.

[@lappesjl1]

If a woman asks for an open relationship she has already made up her mind to cheat or has already cheated.

[@RylieRiddle]

First: Open marriages just seem really sketchy when not talked about long before marriage is considered, asking for one after arguing is nothing but a sign of wanting to cheat or already did and wanting a way to cover it up. Her not having sex with OP anymore tells me she had a few night stands and until he agreed, she didn't want to risk giving him something. 2nd: If an open relationship isn't talked from the start before a relationship starts, I feel like it's something that isn't on the table. 3rd: She is one or two steps from cheating, her friends are encouraging it and she is flirting and making you seem like a prick to justify her bullshit. Break it off and recover your life.

[@cyber-m4ry751]

Tbh open marriages can't work. Like the only "open marriage" I would consider good its just being housemates who maybe fuck and perhaps have a kid together but nothing actually closed or not together. But a polyamorous relationship it's another thing because both the x(let's say male) and y (female) could still be together but at the same time in the relationship there could be some people like a, b, c and d but only those six. Like they could all love romantically each other or just be friends who have a relationship with the same person and no one else. But usually it's really hard to pull off good and it takes some huge time and trust to be able to have a non toxic polyamorous relationship with kids that doesn't fuck up anyone's mind

[@maam-yj8ph]

I could maybe see it working if both partners had one happy secondary relationship each that complemented what they did not experience in their primary relationship whether it's shared hobbies or life experiences or sexual preferences etc. Other wise, it just devolves into some polygamous situation where the responsibilities and freedoms given to each person in these relationships just don't match.

[@Middy666]

Such backbone, much proud. Screw these people that want you to pay for the honor of being cheated on.

[@Andres-vj2ws]

Seriously, of all my friends who had the misfortune of being in one of those not even a SINGLE one had a happy ending

[@mikehawthorne5146]

Story #1: The emotional affair was never resolved. He swept it under the rug. I would have swept her out of the house.

[@tardislady9546]

Yet, if HE had been the cheater, you would have congratulated him, supported him, and said that she 'drove him to it'. Reddit ALWAYS sides with men, no matter how awful the man may be.

[@mikehawthorne5146]

@@tardislady9546 Actually no, I wouldn’t have. I despise cheaters no matter the gender. And Reddit is so against men it’s pitiful.

[@tardislady9546]

@@mikehawthorne5146 Reddit always sides with men, and refuses to publish an equal amount of content that shows cheating men.

[@seal9390]

@@tardislady9546 You are biased yourself. You hate man. Lol

[@tardislady9546]

@@seal9390 BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@EvTheWeebslayer]

“I want an open relationship” means “I’m sleeping with someone else and don’t want to hide it anymore”

[@MAMLeicesterSH]

When your girl asks you for an open relationship, it basically means she's already cheating on you, and she wants you to validate it....

[@yamiblade]

Or hasn't but already has a guy lined up

[@ice1055]

If she wants an open relationship she shouldn’t be so butt hurt on getting dumped, now you have the freedom you wanted.

[@samiulhuda4001]

but who is gonna pay the bills and give her security. all the other guys pumping her surely wont

[@dsdude8441]

@@samiulhuda4001 Who cares?

[@Neo_Leo85]

You didn’t “man up” at all if you accepted her first instance of infidelity.

[@chetp8423]

Amen. That’s the diametric opposite of “manning up”. Should have kicked her ass to the curb at the time.

[@piyushsharma3991]

Men are getting brainwashed these days

[@Gray-soul_81]

I looked before I commented on if someone else caught the "manned up" comment. What an idiot. He didn't man up at all. He simped out.

[@BushidoBrownSama]

Even "we agreed to let it go" had me taken a back

[@terrykrugii5652]

I will always assume that when the words "emotional affair" are put together, it means "sexual affair but doesn't want to admit that yet"

[@devondyer9201]

Or affair that has almost turned sexual at least once, or is about to turn sexual.

[@tardislady9546]

MEN often claim that nothing sexual happened, when they cheat, but that's obviously fine with you lot.

[@datnobodyking13]

It's always a group of co workers or friends that put ideas in the wives heads. They can't stand that you have a happy marriage so they convince you to ruin yours. They always fall for it

[@shivsankermondal]

If they want sleep around they are free to to do that but its not ok to wanting to sleep around while in relationship .

[@zibix4562]

"I'll be totally honest here, just before we got engaged she had an emotional affair with a bloke that she worked with (I only found out because one of her friend's BF contacted me and said that he overheard the friendgroup discussing it). I confronted her at the time, and after a good bit of arguing and hassle, we came to an agreement to let it go." And there is where the trouble start. you let this go.

[@adamwilliams4928]

The thing that kills me, is when these people who either cheat or want an open relationship preface their story, they all start with how much they love their SO and how perfect they are and how good the sex is.... Which completely seems contrary to what they do in the end.

[@leonrobinson8180]

They're just trying to avoid the shame

[@SouthValleyKnifeCo]

Funny how women go right to calling somone a sexist when they don't completely go along with their demands.

[@zibix4562]

And then if you do go along with it and it works in your favor, she turns it on you

[@Urbansilverback]

It’s a manipulation tactic. Because when my ex 15 years ago would try this crap I would just ask her a simple question. I asked would you allow me to do the same thing? With little hesitation she would say no. So I said well then why would you ask me that. Then she would huff and stomp off. Then she would come back and apologize because I called her bull 💩. And when I ignored her because I was angry 😤 a bout what she tried to do she would just rug sweep, move the goal post and blame shift.

[@Mariet31]

I think she lied, let's be honest.

[@tardislady9546]

MEN call women 'needy', 'insecure', 'controlling', 'paranoid', 'clingy', and 'insanely jealous' if they seek faithfulness, yet you think that is fine. Seeing a wish for faithfulness, loyalty, respect, and love, as 'demands' shows YOU to be the sexist one.

[@ceridwen04]

How is mutual monogamy sexist? As a feminist myself I hate people who misuse feminism to justify things like this because it cheapens the good causes. No shame if they both want to sleep around, but is not sexist if one doesn't. Who cares about their gender

[@hugoguerreiro1078]

Good causes tend to be abused by bad people, since you can convince people to do anything if they believe the ends justify the means. Feminism is unfortunately only one of many examples of movements that ended up corrupted.

[@joemomma2189]

Then you are one of the few people who recognize Feminism for what it truly is meant to represent and I have the utter most respect for you. You are sadly in the minority now but know that you have my full support.

[@dylancarroll4623]

“It’s not that big of a deal even though I’ve lost sleep over it.” I don’t know, it sounds like a big deal.

[@jamesdosher2057]

Or ... If she wants and open relationship: Girl: "Let's try an open relationship." Me: "Really? That's great. I'm off to see [woman she hates/makes her feel insecure]. Don't wait up for me!" Girl: "Wait! What?" Me: "Gotta go. There are about thirty girls who have expressed an interest in me including [name of the BFF who set her up for this]." Girl: "NOOOOOOOO!!!" After that, put zero into the relationship and wait for her to give up and leave you.

[@lorenzorossi9093]

More man should do this

[@smoggy6849]

Or just skip the mind games and straight up end the relationship, move on, be happy.

[@elladay9111]

"I suggest an open relationship and I think I just ruined my relationship" Well no shit Sherlock 🙄

[@TheFacelessStoryMaker]

Well since she's single she's free to be open and screw around as much as she wants, regretting letting something good slip away.

[@magoichi75]

Mnnnnnn yes, the tears and sadness of people trying to push polyamorous lifestyles give me such life.

[@Burncsb]

Funny part, he let's go of the emotional affair and then says "I manned up and proposed"... sorry to say brother, you manned down.

[@SomeBlackDude26]

I hope to keep hearing stories about the partner refusing the open relationship and running for the hills. Respect yourselves.

[@rohanrana4626]

The profile pic. Hilarious

[@SomeBlackDude26]

@@rohanrana4626 TY sir

[@mastercontrO]

Seriously what's is up with men and women asking for an open relationship even if you both consent to that why even do something so immoral especially when people are freaking Married!!! Why even get married in the first place 😕 or stay married I hate it when these cheating assholes use and abuse good people and somehow they are able to be with good people men or women.

[@raimondsstokmanis1892]

Men and women? I don't know . Women do seem to be suggesting this open marriage bullshite a lot more. Then again , it's reddit, which isn't the most conservative place on the internet.

[@qwertydvorak2569]

I didnt understand ? What was great about open marriage ?

[@fyoutube9410]

@@qwertydvorak2569 you get to have the stability of a marriage and the excitement of intimate relations with new people.

[@qwertydvorak2569]

@@fyoutube9410 still tho, i'm not convince if that is a great thing.

[@brianjeffrey1913]

@@fyoutube9410 hey qwerty like the name. I'm considerd very liberal even in the US but if I am in love with a woman I could never get over the fact she wants to sleep with other men

[@xevira]

If the phrase "I don't want to get bored" ever enters your lexicon regarding your SO... you shouldn't be in a relationship with your SO, because you are in that relationship for the WRONG reasons and are just wasting each other's time.

[@beckah86]

Right because people can’t get manipulated into fearing what could happen in the future ... that’s what happened here an a*shole got her all freaked out about the future and get her to be proactive about it and talk to her boyfriend so the future that would happen won’t happen... and before anyone says anything that I’m saying this because it’s a female it doesn’t matter male or female same thing could f*cking happen ... oh and he probably coached her on what to say without her realizing that was happening ... when you trust somebody they can twist your head around without you realizing that’s what they’re trying to do Actually sometimes they do that without realizing that they’re actually doing that ... good or bad it happens a lot more than people realize

[@triplemoyagames4195]

Asking for an open-relationship is the most disrespectful ish you can ever ask. You're basically saying, "Even though I say I love you, you don't satisfy nor are you enough, so I want to sleep with other people so I can satisfy myself."

[@Bitume5]

Hum polyamorous people exist ? It's not disrespectful to express your sexuality and romantic attractions? Being yourself is not insulting to anyone. Some people need more than one partner, it's not an attack against you, it's simply who they are. Humans are not swans, we don't mate for life? If "You are not enough" is what you hear then it's your own insecurities speaking. Lying and cheating are not okay but one question: why are there so many people with double lives/ cheaters? Because those people probably are polyamory and just do not accept themselves because of the exact way of thinking that you expressed. This monogamy is a direct result of the three big religions, if you look into other cultures that concept is absolutely foreign. As I said, dishonesty and cheating and lies are not okay but being polyamorous and telling your partner of your orientation is all right. You have the right to talk to your partner about it and either they accept it, either they reject it and you leave but talking about that is not disrespectful.

[@joemomma2189]

@@Bitume5 You're perfectly right, but I believe that TMG was referring to the fact that people ask either well into the relationship or before they're married. It's fine if that is what YOU want, but you do not have a right to pull people into it if they do not want it. There is nothing wrong with a poly-relationship...but more often than not, you have to do that from the very beginning. If you try to do that in the middle of the relationship, not only will it be offensive to both men AND women involved, but it will be immediately treated with suspicion. That's not insecurity- that's fact. You say that its because these people are probably poly and maybe I'd buy that if so many didn't do it for simply 'the thrill' or a 'lapse in judgement'- I am sorry, but for me and my girlfriend, we are enough for each other, and adding in other partners just seem exhausting and not worth the trouble. Even when I was single, it just wasn't worth the effort to me and I felt it would hurt more people than anything else. You're right though- they do need to talk about it, but those feelings need to be clear from the get-go.

[@Bitume5]

@@joemomma2189 i get what you're saying and I agree for the most part, entering a monogamous relationship if you are aware you are polyamory is deceitful and I don't approve of it, it's a lie by omission. But that excludes one big factor: a lot of people with different sexualities don't know until late in their life who they really are and what they really need ! This is why there are so many gay guys with ex-wives and kids.... When you're under the impression that there are no other ways than the classic picked fence nuclear family sometimes you don't feel like you have the choice to do anything but. And at some point, once you've entered the system, you realize you just don't fit and you're not happy. What do you do then? Be true to yourself and telling your partner that while you love them and want to stay with them you can't be happy and fulfilled that way or live a lie and suffer so that you keep the peace? That's an impossible choice. And I would say it's even harder to be poly than to be gay, because more and more people are accepting of the lgbts nowadays (and I say that as a bi woman), but polyamory isn't even accepted in lgbt circles sometimes. I met my girlfriend and she waited until we got closer she told me that she had a boyfriend for that reason- the fear to be judged and rejected. Now I won't say I was happy I didn't know right from the beginning but I heard her out before I lashed out in anger of "not being enough". Her boyfriend knew she was bi and she discovered that about herself after they had dated for quite a bit. He was accepting in this aspect of her and he was okay with her looking around. I'm not poly myself but I consider my own needs meet, I'm not really high maintenance. Her boyfriend know, I know, and everything is out in the open. I don't care that she likes someone else as well- I'm not possessive so I'm okay with it. I get that some people are monogamous and only want to care for one person, I would consider myself like this as well. But it isn't the case for everyone, and I don't believe in throwing people away just because they're not exactly like you. Everyone has their limits and it's okay if it's a deal breaker to you- you're free to set your boundaries. But that violent, angry, religious-born rejection is not okay at all, as if people become trash the second they realize they aren't monogamous- that is utter bullshit.

[@joemomma2189]

@@Bitume5 Then you're a better person than me- I understand where you are coming from, but this was a situation that had a key difference- she waited until you were closer to tell you. Even then, I am sorry, but In your position I would've said no. If you had saw what she was doing during the early days of your relationship, that she had someone else besides you and HAD NOT told you, what would your immediate reaction have been? My issue is that this isn't a religion-born issue, it's an issue of emotion- do you have it in you to be fine with a poly relationship? If you are, fine, if not, then you should not be forced, and if you do so in the middle of a relationship, then you are setting yourself up for disaster. Those bonds are manipulated in this event and scenario and personally being Bitume, I'd look at your own relationship a bit closer, because while I only have context that you have given me (and I can be wrong, so feel free to tell me) it feels one-sided to me. I would reject a poly-relationship because I do not have it in me to be emotionally invested in multiple people- and that isn't being violent, angry, or religious, I have a clear idea of what I want out of a relationship. In the scenario presented above, not only was she in an Emotional Affair, but then she tried to open it JUST as they were getting married? There was no way that wasn't suspect and he had every reason to dump her. Call it what you will, but in the scenario in the video, it was cheating. I cannot, nor will I ever, abide by that. Poly-Relatonships rely on a good foundation to work, and in this case, their relationship was tanked the moment she suggested it.

[@AgentAnime95]

@@Bitume5 Poly is nothing more than cheating with extra steps. It's not even a real or valid relationship if you're just going to be the village bicycle.

[@jamalgoldstein6559]

Garden implements gone wild

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

Whenever your partner wants an open relationship, it means they want to cheat. If you want that, then go ahead. Don't expect me to accept it.

[@Niveous23]

If a partner suggests an open relationship, and had the idea 'suggested' by a potential partner, it's an auto deal-breaker. She tried to lie to her man about that fact, but he didn't buy it. Of course he was gonna dump her. She had a chance to come clean, and didn't. And that last story, oof. Guy dodged a crazy bullet if he dumps her. I bet you she'd consider it sexual and wrong if he had a 'friendly' chat about sex and his sex life with a pretty young woman he met online. She's a cake eater, and a stupid one at that. Run far away, or better yet...push her out the door.

[@user-hk2fc4jv2g]

Men DO discuss their sex lives with their mates. MEN always blame women when MEN cheat.

[@Niveous23]

@@user-hk2fc4jv2g Did you mean to reply to a different post, and accidentally click this comment? What I said had NOTHING to do with your reply. Yes, men and woman communicate in a healthy relationship. Point me to where I said otherwise. If you mean mates as in friends and not actual mates because you're cursed with being british....no. That's not a thing you do in a healthy relationship. Maybe friends that you aren't sexually attracted to? But even then, it needs to be a topic you discuss with your partner because airing your problems with not your spouse is a terrible way to solve issues. If I have to explain why it's wrong to discuss marital issues with someone you find sexually attractive...you're a lost cause. And you must not know many men. Many times I'v witnessed men blame other men for cheating. So there's that.

[@BushidoBrownSama]

"We agreed to let it go" "Manned up, & proposed" Bruh

[@noexplanationowed3525]

Second story,good riddance to op's boyfriend..... though ten years of his got wasted,yet, he's just getting into his prime,.... he'll have fun.....but won't be so much fun for her,since she's very close to hitting the wall.

[@noexplanationowed3525]

@Eddie LM that life that's left for her won't be fun.

[@Ni-boo]

Fertility rates of men in western worlds are declining, men are hitting the wall earlier and earlier. At least on the fertility side of things.

[@cool.6673]

​@@Ni-boo I don't think that is a problem for men. I know a few men who voluntarily got vasectomy.

[@Ni-boo]

@@cool.6673 "Hitting the wall" is not just a phenomenon that affects women, that's all I'm saying.

[@cool.6673]

@@Ni-boo Cool. Thanks for the clarification.

[@kruckcrusher8102]

Never forgive cheating even if it’s emotional

[@tardislady9546]

Yet you would all expect a woman to forgive a cheating MAN.

[@XrandommonX]

@@tardislady9546 Literally who says that?

[@lildroptop4178]

And he found out from her friend boyfriend not from her

[@ArisenMind]

Welcome to the future gentleman. No marriage. No cohabitation.

[@FerunaLutelou]

Dont worry, its gonna get worse. You know how in some places there are laws that make just living under the same roof with a woman enough to basically consider you two as a married couple. And yes, that means she can divorce you and get your money

[@ArisenMind]

@@FerunaLutelou true my brother, true

[@Wolfking210]

Lol these women make me glad I'm single 😂

[@cheeseburger12]

Me too. I'm socially retarded and I have a hard enough time thinking I could have managed a relationship when I thought most women were "good". Of course there are good women...but I'm glad I don't have to play that roulette with kids on the line.

[@kenshinsan12]

Being single is awesome! You have no one to justify yourself to, waste money on. You have your hobbies and the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want.

[@NineM_YorHa]

2nd women clearly didn't care for the guy, she just told it like she just wanted the best for him.

[@DrNova-hj6co]

And open relationship harms two kind of people: - Young men. - Old women.

[@kos2919]

"So here's some blogs that validate what I want" said the girl that belong to the street.

[@ianakamrsilly123]

That guy in the first story dodged a absolute bullet.

[@joelbellJB]

I love how he said. “I manned up, and proposed”!!!? Haha 😂

[@overkill7990]

"My girlfriend showed serious signs that she was cheating on me but I manned up and proposed to her anyway" That's not manning up homeslice.

[@linzi9814]

1st story, "Stay with their bloke and have one night stands on nights out if they fancy" That isn't how 'open relationships' work at all. That's just plain old cheating lol.

[@Davtwan]

Rarely have I seen the swinger’s lifestyle workout for anyone if ever.

[@amyrussell860]

These kind of relationships don't work. Most of the time, only 1 partber wants it and therefore it really is a (subtle) power struggle.

[@kiss-shot_is_bae]

Every single time somone wants an "open relationship" it's because they wanna cheat on their partner but don't want to be called cheaters and deal with the consequences. So I find it hilarious when those people react surprised/confused/angry when they are told no.

[@gazzhumbly5433]

I'd rather live alone and not be with anyone than be someone's doormat like this

[@echschmidt]

Any GF or SO wanting an open relationship is simply asking for RETROACTIVE permission. You're done! It's already happened!

[@mamajkhan]

What makes me mad is that if people want to screw other people, JUST DONT MARRY SOMEONE AND ASK FOR OPEN If you ask me OPEN relationship is dump and its just a reason to sleep with other men or women

[@F40PH-2CAT]

Women suggesting open relationships = end of relationship.

[@tardislady9546]

So you think it's fine for MEN to suggest 'open relationships'? Typical Reddit mysogyny.

[@violetliskey675]

To me, I personally wouldn't want an open relationship. That just sounds like adding up extra responsibility and drama. Having a worry of possibly a child or more inside/outside of marriage, needing to get tested for STDs, possible fits of what he or she can't do compare to the other affair partner, not liking the influence of the other partner(s), possibly of the other guy or girl being a psycho, insecurities, etc. For me, I would prefer to avoid shit that could break my family and just be creative. Bring new ideas to the table to add some new spice. That way I always make sure my love and I have new ways to have fun and be confident about each other's love, care, loyalty and how hunky I find him regardless.

[@masterdevoe2519]

If a woman wants her man to lose attraction instantly to her, ask him to be in an open relationship.

[@casualcausalityy]

That second story, I have a sneaking suspicion she would have slept with the "friend" if her fiance had agreed to an open relationship. She knew what was going on

[@deanfisher5017]

Any time they tell you " It's nothing ti worry about" They're lying. IT IS ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT ! Time to EXIT!

[@carmenplangger9417]

KZbin interrupts with ads every 2,5 minutes and it makes your videos impossible to listen to. I don't sit and watch, I have to drop everything to skip the damn ads.

[@username12120]

IF they're even the skippable kind. Mobile youtube's a fucking joke.

[@msajib2008]

If you're on Android download 'KZbin Vanced' my dude. No ads no bs. Its a lifesaver.

[@username12120]

@@msajib2008 I'll give that a try, thanks.

[@chaz706]

Rule #1 in life: you gotta take care of yourself first. It's safe to assume that no one else will.

[@justsomerandomfangirl6084]

S1: Glad OP dumped her & I feel she already cheated physically S2: she made it clear that she’s tired of only sleeping with him & should apologize if he is what she really wants

[@beckah86]

Story 2 Sounds more like she was afraid of what could (but twisted to would) happen in the future and she was manipulated into being afraid of that happening in the future so unknowingly coached into talking to her boyfriend so it doesn’t happen ... oh and before someone says something male or female doesn’t matter they can both be manipulated ... people twist peoples minds around all the time even if the person doesn’t realize the twisting of the other person’s mind around ...

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@beckah86 best thing for op is to dump her a**

[@reiko57]

"emotional affair" just means she got stuffed in the corner of a couch and pounded like there's no tomorrow, women never admit the full truth, just a small part of it. never believe them.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

Indeed - gay man here, whose had too many female friends. There is no "emotional affair", there is "I've cheated on you" and "I've cheated on you and now I'm caught I'm going to lie about it".

[@tardislady9546]

So men never cheat, and are always honest? Dream on.

[@FerunaLutelou]

The second story is a good example of they. When bf asked if someone gave her the idea and talked her into it, she lied.

[@flaviusconstantius9702]

Story 2: She really got played by the male "friend" at work. He's up for it, sees she likes him (and is gullible), so he plants the idea of an open marriage in her head. Whether the boyfriend agreed to the open marriage or dumped her, the friend's chances of getting laid just improved. Granted, she was also naive to think that telling her boyfriend she wants to sleep with other men would not have consequences for their relationship. The boyfriend probably understood perfectly what was going on, so can't blame him for opting out.

[@Zanzecus]

You want an open relationship, sure you can have an open relationship, you’re single now do whatever you want.

[@bigboy8421]

I would have loved to hear that arguement for the open relationship "BUT I REALLY WANT TO SLEEP WITH OTHER GUYS WHILE YOU PAY FOR IT"

[@chazzmichaelmichaels5766]

I would love if he talked to her parents and grandparents about the open marriage she wants.

[@kuno3336]

If you want an open relationship, you need to be up front about that AT THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP. You can't just spring it on someone. If they never want it and you do, then you aren't compatible

[@Skyler_Momoko]

Preach!

[@TheJotaroKujo]

If she suggests an open relationship all you can do is step away and introduce her to her one true love: the streets.

[@jameymoore2822]

As soon as a women asks for an open relationship just walk away because she's already cheating and the relationship is over

[@abelovedsonofGodinwhomHeis35-6]

For those still struggling, the point of marriage is to tell each other and the world that you two have committed to each and to have no one else.

[@biscuitninja]

I enjoy the content, the ads however are extremely intrusive.

[@fhfs]

Hmm she wants an open relationship....Open the door and tell her hit the open road.

[@notazip6814]

3x I've been asked this : standard response? " honey ... I thought we WERE in one ". by the time they stop spinning... I'm gone

[@georgecamp5811]

Get rid of her

[@denisecalvert7309]

Call the whole thing off

[@pirjettabesil6669]

She asked open the relationship because she had already cheated…

[@marstheknife7396]

" Oh I am just stressed with work lately " after being cold, distant, stop boinking, etc. Translation : " This is one of my three excuses to start cheating on you and hide it effectively. "

[@tardislady9546]

MEN use excuses like this all the time, yet you lot on Reddit support, and congratulate, men who cheat, and blame women for the mans' cheating.

[@Shakera...]

"I MANNED up MOVED on and PROPOSED" okay sir you're making it hard to feel bad for you...first of all "manning" up for her emotional affair is completely appalling just to even read. Second of all you moved on which I won't shame you for but you already knew the risk when you decided to continue then not only did you give her a second chance, you saw her as wifey material and put a ring on it........make that make sense. Again, I'm trying really hard to feel bad for you, and I kinda do but anyone with half a brain could have seen that or something worse coming (I predicted physically cheating after marriage). "I'm seriously THINKING of calling this off" I don't even know what to say to this, Hope all is well though even though he's extremely naive he seems like a good person so hopefully, he has a great life.

[@miceltusav88]

I'd have gone through with the wedding after recording the conversation with her wanting to have it be an open marriage in secret. Then, I'd play the recording at the wedding, making sure to play it nice and loud. Then get the marriage annulled. Even better if her parents paid for the whole thing

[@grandparedpill2695]

One of the five biggest lies of woman tells a man, " He's just a friend. "

[@jigsaw2036]

Anyone noticing a pattern with these people wanting an open relationship? I love how it seems to always blow up in the person who purposed it face.

[@SilveryBlue1010]

I though marriage purpose is exclusivity (for lack of better word) ?..

[@Daydream_N]

This whole open relationship thing seems to be getting more popular and just makes dating so much harder lately

[@FerunaLutelou]

I think it makes dating easier. She brings up an open relationship? You dump her.

[@druw7523]

It’s weird how they always say they love their partner

[@georgebell9634]

This is why you don't take cheaters back

[@TheyCallHimTheTops]

“He keeps me around lol” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Men, Do Not Get Married!!!!!!!!! Women, You won’t listen to my advice anywaylololol

[@yoyodude-aoe2726]

Just a curious question of mine. Do only females comes up with the ideas of open relationship? So they can (technically)cheat with no repercussions? And men just cheat?

[@drl5002]

I've seen a couple of reddit stories where the man initiates the open relationship, but there seems to be a lot more accounts of women initiating.

[@justadummy8076]

‘She cheated previously, but I “manned up” and proposed…’ No, no you didn’t “man up”

[@notamtfagent2597]

"Not this time boys and girls" *You're goddamn right*