UPDATED Overheard My Wife Telling Her Friend She Regrets Settling With Me... Relationship Advice

Basically, the title. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. This friend is in a serious relationship. My wife then said to her, “Sweetie, remember it’s your choice. Don’t settle for just anyone. That’s the mistake I made. Who knows who else I could have had. [My name] was my very last resort, and now look where it made me end up.” Hearing that honestly broke my heart in two. Does she even love me? Why am I being treated as a second base?
Story 1:
Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.”
Story 2:
Update: (36/M) My wife (33/F) while drunk confessed she only married me as a "last resort".
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[@redditoutloudrelationships1430]

Story 1: UPDATE 2:46 Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.” Story 2: 6:06 UPDATE 9:08 Update: (36/M) My wife (33/F) while drunk confessed she only married me as a "last resort".

[@cliftonrouse9400]

Wow. Op dude, as with the risk of playing Russian roulette, this is one of the most beautiful stories, about finding true love. It is common for a people to be head over heels the 1st time they meet. Bad thing about love at 1st sight is, that type of love which can bloom so easily, can also die just as easily. So you do your thing my man. It is such an awesome blessing to help teach a person how to love. Dont let anyone tell you, that love given is sometimes love earned. Love is alive definitely thru Jesus death on the cross, and if love is alive, then love CAN AND WILL GROW!

[@jasonbernal8593]

Last post love never starts at first sight put the bottle down stop drinking both of you enjoy what you have now cherish her as she does you . You both need counseling individual and then couples counseling learn to talk and listen to each other. Good luck have faith in each other

[@jeffdean5892]

Story2 That story shows how careful you need to approach a discussion brought on by alcohol , say tings wrong , say things out of context , exaggerating things when you say them , You stayed calm and used your head as much or more then your heart and thought thing through carefully , filtered out the alcohol from the story Good luck with your future for you and your family

[@jakejennings5152]

Never settle men! Remember that you got time and they don’t!

[@erice.214]

@@jasonbernal8593 I agree. However in this case his wife flat out told him he was not her first choice. Why? Because she wanted to hurt him. Alcohol removes inhibitions and this is how she felt. He is meaningless to her. She obviously hates him. He should divorce this awful woman and move on.

[@elwoodblues9613]

If your wife says that she only settled for you, and you were her last resort, *BELIEVE HER.*

[@Celebrimbor965]

@James Stewart HAAHAHAHHA

[@hudzGee]

Probably a fake story. I feel it with this one.

[@justchris846]

You have a curb with a garbage can setting on it. I’m confused as you why you have garbage in your bed...

[@catsithx]

@James Stewart comment of the year

[@davebruneau6068]

@James Stewart LMFAO

[@Mia-dt3gl]

_”You think I can’t find someone again?”_ Uh, clearly _you_ don’t think that if OP was your last resort.

[@toneflatekval6439]

I hope he changed the locks

[@keithulhul7540]

She csn get another first last choice i guess.

[@Daikkenaurora]

She can find a guy to have sex wit, not one to be in a relationship with.

[@hothotheat3000]

That’s her voicing her inner fear. “Can I find someone better?”

[@BONZ551]

Yes you will find another victim

[@gitinia]

Prenups are love. DNA tests are life.

[@lailukaislurking]

Underrated comment over here

[@piyushsharma3991]

Haha had an ex who believed "hUsBaNdS wHo dEmAnD dNa tEsTs aRe a$$wHoLeS bEcAuSe tHeY aRe dOuBtInG tHeIr wIvEs" Bitch we are just practicing our right and needless to say I dumped her ass lol

[@ExplorationRandomDestination]

@@piyushsharma3991 make sure to let her future husband know how his wife feels

[@allblazing1160]

This is the truth right here protect y'all's money and don't be anyones duck

[@allblazing1160]

@Tstan 28 only when either person is forced to sign it

[@Bawks_FEET]

That 2nd dude got played, and one of the comments even said that she was gonna rehearse a whole story to fool the guy, and that's exactly what happened.

[@StarAllKungfu]

Only reason to put up with the wife was the kids. To me that would be a big deal, be easy to leave the woman otherwise.

[@johndelper1404]

Tony Banderas, My thoughts exactly, alcohol is like Truth Serum, he needs to invest in some HQ electronic equipment and hear what she says when he's not around, that's when the truth is told.

@@johndelper1404 Hell if that was her attitude she has probably banged other dudes.

[@johndelper1404]

@Ghost Bear, You're more than likely correct, but I'd need real evidence, only thing worse than being a liar and a cheat, is falsely accusing someone of it.

[@triplemoyagames4195]

@@StarAllKungfu Facts. Tbh I'd do the same to a degree. I would stay for the kids, so I can still assure that I raise them properly. Then where their off after college. I'd divorce

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

1st story - Thru his updates, he handled it like a boss. Props to him for getting the pre-nup and doing the annulment.

[@TheMan-ud2wq]

I'm so proud of the first guy I hope if my three sons ever go through anything like that I hope they handle it exactly like he did

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

@James Stewart - very true, that's why many get thrown out in court...

[@andrasziegenham6766]

​@James Stewart Pressured to sign in order to get married can only happen if she was pressured to marry. You vow at the altar that you are doing this of your free will without pressure. You basically denounce your marriage by claiming pressure, which is exactly the opposite of what these golddiggers try to accomplish. Yet it seems this stupid law system condones this. Just wow...

[@scottys1423]

I think that fraud is one of the things you can claim to get an annulment. She admitted she he was her last choice.

[@fallenangeltv6973]

You’re fool to get married nowadays, and you’re a bigger fool to get married without a PRENUP.

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

Thank goodness, this guy in the first story had no kids with this woman and had a prenup. How cruel.

[@unwokeneuropean3590]

Why a woman so young got to the last option? Last option is in 30s.

[@sunnishae5047]

@@unwokeneuropean3590 last man on her list of settling down quickly, she's trying to find a free ride like a scumbag.

[@Iennaish]

@@unwokeneuropean3590 I disagree, last option is mid 30 if you are a woman and want to have get pregnant with your bio child (even then, they are ways around that). Or... Never. Why would mariage be mandatory? I'm 30 and planning to be single with cats. I've never wanted to get married or anything since my mid teens and I know now that I'm CF. Last chance? Last chance at what? Why couldn't people who want to get married/settle down get married/settle down later? The only limit is death.

[@thalmoragent9344]

@@Iennaish Well, some want to be married before having kids, that's the thing, and getting pregnant is a strong drive in (most, not all) women. So naturally, except for the rare/occasional exceptions, most women need a partner who is willing to provide and care for her as a wife so that she can have children. If she doesn't want children, by all means get married whenever, but many women have wanted marriage (even if last minute) to have the care and provision of a man for numerous reasons, one being so they can have kids with a stable partner.

[@ShaunHensley]

@@Iennaish 😂 mid 30s is well past fml peak

[@costa200]

Second guy is totally trying to convince himself! She totally gaslighted him!

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

More like he gaslit himself.

[@Wolfsong27FlyHalfFullHeart]

He’s letting her manipulate him

[@joec4997]

Ive never seen someone so delusional. If some other guy gave her attention shed spread her legs immediately

[@magoichi75]

After reading stories like this or the various other cheating stories, I can say safely I understand why marriage let alone dating across the USA is dropping like a lead balloon. I think my hermit bachelor lifestyle is best for me.

[@JoaquinTazabi]

I don't even remember writing this and that isn't my name, but it's definitely my thought process.

[@joemomma2189]

Preach.

[@kos2919]

I felt that many American women no longer treat marriage as something to love and cherish but more about which one that can pay her credit card debt the most. Funny how tons of American rom com always talk about women feeling but never about men feeling. How they laugh at men they consider weak because they told their feeling to their girlfriend or wife. USA is crumbling inside, not just politically but also socially

[@thalmoragent9344]

@@kos2919 I agree. Getting married used to be decent when women had expectations of child rearing and being a caretaker of the home and such, but now with rampant feminism, and the downward spiral of societal expectations in regards to the old traditional setup, well now it's a fools errand for men. In our society, Women have little sense of accountability and use men whenever they can. The concept of loyalty and commitment is simply lost on a lot of people, and its a shame since Feminism sees nothing wrong with this. Maybe if things were of a more traditional setup, maybe I'd consider getting married, but now it seems if I ever want kids, Surrogate mother is the only option, raise them on my own.

[@odeo5691]

I definitely never planned on it. And after all these and stories from friends/experiences I never will

[@TheFacelessStoryMaker]

I would confront her and divorce her. Tell her "you're not stuck and settling anymore. Bye." Staying with her is the worst decision. She's only "sorry" because OP is her meal ticket and literally pays for everything for her and she doesn't want to have to take care of herself. Just let her go.

[@sychaepowell2918]

Her reaction just screams that she's going to bash him to family and lie and he's going to let her

[@tardislady9546]

Yet you would support a MAN saying that he had 'settled' for someone.

[@filletdadivorcedfather3957]

@@tardislady9546 who tf would do that?

[@War450]

@@tardislady9546 Man, you need a life. I've been watching these videos and you've been trolling these videos for YEARS defending women in every single story and blaming men in every single story. For YEARS. Maybe this behavior and this mindset is why you yourself can't get a guy, so maybe fix yourself instead of hating men.

[@im1who84u]

"Thank you for calling this to my attention and you are correct in your observations. This being true, I am not the right man for you. I will take responsibility for ending this relationship so you don't have to bear that burden. Thank you for the memories. I wish you all the best and I hope you find what you are looking for.”

[@melmagallon6233]

Her reaction says everything. Yes, everyone gets upset after a breakup, but she wasn't sad at all losing him. Her comments were narcissistic. She had a very bruised ego that her "loser" husband would leave such a "prize"

[@Profitglutton90]

She left to go to her boyfriend’s house to bang to make her feel better. She probably planned on having a baby with the boyfriend and making the husband pay for it.

[@krel7160]

You can also hear some of her insecurities. You think you'll find someone better? Projection, a question she's asking herself while trying to shame him.

[@FirebirdFreak87]

Whenever she shows her true colors, she no longer becomes a "prize".

[@Profitglutton90]

@Yomas Riprud wouldn’t be the first and certainly not the last time something like that happened.

[@melmagallon6233]

@Yomas Riprud I don't know why you would go making assumptions about internet strangers you never met, but not to delve too deeply in my private life, my reaction to the same situation was the opposite. I was actually devastated and treated the breakup as my loss... not hers.

[@Dustin81]

If Ty was someone that turns out she wouldn't like very much, why is she still talking about him like that after all this time?

[@erynwells2463]

She made up a great lie. She practiced that lie for years.

[@gk2279]

Thats what i was thinking. Alcohol doesnt make you brag some stupidity. Those words were from deep inside her. After yrs when she met Ty she realised he is exactly what she wanted. Those words of her to the Op was the exact words he wanted to hear from her, she knows it. She served him that and he fall for it

[@yourmother5810]

Personally I think OP has the love goggles on too tightly and has been played like a fiddle. Although her story is a plausible one, it really doesn't fit with what she said when she was drunk. Only someone with regret would call their partner a last resort.

[@GLoLChibs]

Because he is still her first choice, a drunk person's words are a sober person's thoughts. She still thinks she settled and men and women both have a penchant for forever lamenting the people they couldn't have.

[@Rocko2552]

That exactly what I was thinking. To me the scary thing is that after years and being married, she is still thinking about the one who got away. Also in the update did she till OP that I thought you knew you were the last resort? I feel like Op has some deep-rooted issues and struggles to see if what he feels and thinks about his relationship is real or just coming from his issues. I also believe that the relationship itself is adding to his depression. In the back of his head he knows he was the last choice but he has to keep believing its depression that's making him feel this way. Doesn't matter how drunk I get I don't bring up fond memories of my ex. However, he isn't any better either. If he knows he's the last resort and stays, he is settling the same way she did. So in the end they are a perfect couple.

[@Ryan--G]

That first one showed her true colors when confronted, there are some snakes out there just looking for a free ride.

[@tetrathundaja]

He is lucky he had no kids, prenup and minimum time wasted in the marriage before the mask fell off.

[@austinwakefield601]

lord thank you for this prenup

[@timbervandenhul9383]

She was only sorry for getting caught.

[@trence5]

Never carry the snake or it will bite you.

[@kingasif9265]

Women doesn’t marry the guy she marries the lifestyle that he provides

[@NuRaLoQi]

Jesus Christ the second dude was played like a fiddle. If it was something just in the past, she wouldn't have blurted it out now. But hey, to each his own.

[@absolidesto3359]

😔😔😒😒😧😧, and pretty sure the comments on reddit, were mostly women. But from here on, he can only blame himself for not taking seriously this BIG RED FLAG.

[@TheyCallHimTheTops]

Yeah, I mean... I’m sure she sounded VERY sincere lolol like she picked her crushes best friend... to stay close to him lmfao how’s that not fucking evident??

[@joshuaespinoza2117]

@@absolidesto3359 oh hello there again (again) :p

[@absolidesto3359]

@@joshuaespinoza2117 oh hello, always a pleasure, have a great day☺

[@joshuaespinoza2117]

@@absolidesto3359 you too 🙂

[@ultimatedumbass4640]

2nd story- Dude come on its so obvious that she is still not over Ty. If she was, she wouldn't have mentioned him while drunk. Drunk words reveal true thoughts. OP stop being a delusional doormat, you're not her first choice (and you never will be) and she doesn't love you as much as you think.

[@Niveous23]

Yea, she didn't mention 'in her drunken stupor' about how she dodged a bullet over Ty. That would have made the story plausible. What we have here is damage control.

[@jcord0013]

Redditors always give the drunken female confessor a free pass, then gaslights hubbie for mental issues.

[@stevewall7044]

I agree with every in this thread, it shows reddit is very biased.

[@simbaddaenlightened1895]

He failed the ultimate s**t test. Wow.

[@acetheconqueror]

​@@stevewall7044 don't think they are biased tough. They probably know as well. Those comments after the update are too nice. I'm assuming it's because the mental issues. Either that, or the top comments are picked biased by this channel. he was indeed her last choice, but they have kids and both have mental issues. Unless she actually cheats on him ( which I doubt she will) it's maybe better to live in their fantasy. She obviously has regrets, but she also loves the reddit OP. The regrets won't necessary lead to cheating. Especially since Ty isn't doing that great. Tough i wouldn't completely discount it. I think you can only hope they will be ok at this point. The divorce will ruin everyone in that family. Maybe with therapy they can mutually agree to separate, but a forced one at that point seems dangerous.

[@Alcapwn410]

Story 2? My dude, people don't get random when they get drunk, they get honest. This guy completely blasted past the comment that said: She's probably rehearsing what she's going to say to you. If she's really been helping this guy so much, and been there for him through his mental issues, would she really have just let that randomly slip while drunk? No. Bitch took a look at him while drunk and thought: this guy is so under my thumb I can say whatever the fuck I want and he'll still be mine. Hopefully it doesn't take him too much longer to figure out what he needs to do.

[@thetallman9531]

It's going to take him catching her cheat on him because he wants to live in the lie.

[@odeo5691]

@@thetallman9531 it'll take more than that. Someone like him would fall for the sorry excuse given

[@impulse421]

Things will change when Ty comes around looking for a "friendship"

[@Ronnie-mx1wu]

I disagree about your first sentence. When I used to drink I'd do a lot of dumb shit that I regretted when I sobered up. Getting into fights with bouncers, breaking into cars and stealing from gas stations. Just a bunch of dumb things that I wouldn't do when sober.

[@ginkamikaze2]

@@Ronnie-mx1wu my dude, getting drunk is not getting high or rewiring your brain... you're just less inhibited and tend to act in the spur of the moment... I was only blackout drunk once in my life and then I just danced for a while then passed out... If OP says the years haven't been kind to Ty and his wife is still lusting after him when her inhibitions are gone, then that is trainwreck waiting to happen... I also love how brazen and passive aggressive she is in her explanation...

[@frostaminimations1785]

That second story sounds like the wife is saying complete bs. When you're drunk you say exactly what is on your mind so I don't believe what she said afterward for a second.

[@Lasenggo]

2nd story: that update from the guy actually shows his insecurities. He's just too scared to accept that she said he was his last resort. Actually thinks the wife is doing her a favor by choosing him.

[@sourcesymbiosismetamorphis2228]

He'll wake up once he gets cheated on.

[@rockersr.g.2410]

@Ben Dover even if does, some people stay with the person who cheated on them sooo it really wouldn't make a difference anyway i truly feel bad for people like that

[@alexgg7499]

He is the definition of a simp

[@morrisanderson818]

I knew his update would be some sort of excuse to stay, really sick of all these weak males in these stories

[@b1zzler]

By staying with her, he's proven to all of us that he IS the loser she saw him as when she was pining after Ty.

[@bobleece4152]

Over the last couple of years I've listened to alot of these stories. What amazes me is despite how society teaches the women are the sensitive ones, seems like its always the men in these stories that are tore apart.

[@KenshinSXS]

excellent insight! Absolutely agree

[@feuerschlange6374]

I have a simple rule for this. If what you got thought doesn't fit reality once, it's an anomaly. If it happens the second time, look it up, there seems to be a pattern. If it happens a third time, you got thaught bs (or at least. ot the whole deal).

[@kos2919]

I suspect that the reason romance movies are so successful in western cinema is because many western women lack empathy and they filled that emptiness with watching romance movies. Also those movies always show men as this hunkalicious man with good income and smart and funny and never fart......

[@DuelTubeChannel]

Because women prepare themself before and are quicker to jump to another men'arm than men

[@bobleece4152]

@@DuelTubeChannel seems to me as a society we are in for alot of pain. I don't understand why equality can't be equal, why it has to swing to far one way and not enough the other.

[@sirdipping2244]

If I ever heard my gf/wife say anything that insinuated I was a last choice or she settled for me the relationship would end right there, nothing she could say could ever convince me otherwise at that point and I’m not gonna risk getting used any longer than that

[@russellkeeling4387]

Once uttered words can never be unsaid. When you hear those words believe them and act accordingly.

[@shadowrobloxian5033]

" Women, children and pets are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved under the condition that they provide something." ~Chris Rock

[@mellvee]

"children" and "kids" are the same thing. Also, I know you're stuck back in the 1950's, when women didn't work outside the home and didn't amass any wealth or status outside of their husbands, but in this day and age there are a lot of us who have our own money, interests and careers outside of our marriages. I'm educated and make the same salary as my husband. We've been married 22 years and have two grown sons together. You're a moron; there's a reason women likely don't want anything but financial support from you. That's not the rule, you sexist douche nozzle, it's the exception. And you're probably the exception because of your brilliant personality and scintillating conversational skills.

[@shadowrobloxian5033]

@@mellvee Thanks for addressing the spelling errors! By the way, you lost me at 1950's. Maybe dumb it down to something that I can read, since you think you know everything about anything.

[@piyushsharma3991]

Tbh after reading stories like these and a couple of others related to cheating I can safely say that now I understand why marriages let alone dating are going down across USA so badly

[@spongmongler6760]

@@mellvee ok bot

[@bohemianbrute1492]

Hate bitches like that, that’s why I’m so glad me and sil are pretty independent, bf lost job 3 months ago so I work at amazon to support us and our kid, he’s a great sahd. Sil is sahm but babysits too and earns a good amount of money for them and their kid since her bf couldn’t hold down a job before now but glad they’re doing better.

[@tek512]

Always terminate the relationship immediately in these situations.

[@shonnaallen2225]

I love the fact that the 1st OP crappy wife seen the post ....so she seen all the comments about her and knew it was about her

[@hothotheat3000]

Notice how she went from tears to threats when confronted? She’s in a corner and is lashing out. I promise you she was shaking with fear in the car as she left.

[@heman85515]

She's probably what's making him depressed

[@redukos]

I wonder what will happen when another "Ty" is gonna show up

[@absolidesto3359]

She will cheat on him, and he will ask reddit what to do, and we will say : what a simp😧.

[@mjjm8446]

It might be the original Ty, but cheating is inevitable.

[@TheWaterman1000]

As a former Peace Officer dealing with drunks what comes out their mouth is whats on their real mind. Pull the pin and divorce. Past G/F screamed at me when she was told to leave I have no place to go. Whaaattt.. I get the real reason whaman hook up with men is to treat us like walking ATM, housing and Fu×$k toy when they get horny. Don't get me wrong i like women. Just Don't care for western women much more.

[@piyushsharma3991]

@@TheWaterman1000 yup just look at the situation of france, cheating is through the roof there so I guess Asian women is the last bet?

[@leto1178]

She will bang the new Ty in front of the doormat and then tell the doormat that it's just his insecurities and depression which confuses him.

[@jaxonswain3408]

I'm very much pleased with the guy in the first story. I love it when men have dignity. Never let a woman use you as her backup plan.

[@leonbelmont4028]

guy in the second story is certified doormat.

[@glong86]

Might as well tattoo WELCOME on his forehead. 🤣

[@ishitagupta5959]

@@glong86 bruh you're brutal💀💀

[@jasondyrkacz8270]

Even at my thirstiest, I had limits.

[@seanthatsit1089]

Yup. The whole update I was like. Dude did you not even read the advice! Straight up doormat. But whatever some people just gotta be stepped on

[@seanthatsit1089]

Guy in story 2 is a TOTAL JERRY

[@mademyownway2975]

1st Story: Guy was a boss. He got out before the harpy had a chance to trap him with kids. 2nd Story: One word - Doormat. Here is the think with people who drink and get drunk. There is no filter in the words that come out of a persons mouth from their brain, when they are drunk. If you want honesty, get a person drunk and just get them talking. This guy should grow a pair and get some help on his self confidence and leave to find someone that found him, as her first choice.

[@ronhall5395]

I have known a lot of drunks, unfortunately. While the truth often comes out, the words used are not necessarily what they I tended. I think in the second story the wife and SIL were talking about guys that got away. When she said she settled for him, I think she did feel Th as her dream guy, but she settled with hubby b see cause he was ultimately the better choice. I have no problem with him staying with her, but changes need to be made. Those dumb sort of comments shouldn't be in her head. They have relationship work to do.

[@patrickward8543]

@@ronhall5395 No. she has relationship work to do. Seeing her husband as her last resort and someone she just settled for is absolutely unforgiveable and being boozed up is no excuse for it.

[@lacededwards7900]

First story: never settle. It hurts both of the people in the relationship and ultimately destroys it. Or if you settle in an abusive relationship then it will destroy you.

[@stephenwest6738]

The problem is that there are below average women out there that feel they are settling if they don't get the highest value man they have ever met. They don't understand how worthless they are.

[@tardislady9546]

@@stephenwest6738 Not all men are saints, and you are definitely low quality.

[@Riri_734]

@lacededwards7900 Second that. I used to have a "backup girl", always told my friends i'll settle for her if im still not married in my 30s. She has a thing for me since our childhood till well into our 20s. As i grew older and matured, i realized this is a toxic mindset. I gradually reduce contact with her so she can move on and eventually lost contact. I hope she found the perfect guy for herself.

[@maherdaibes9344]

She said it when she was drunk which means thise words are the real truth

[@farhangustiwan1827]

Second story sounds like a doormat story to me😂

[@absolidesto3359]

A delusional man that in some years, will ask reddit what to do, because his wife cheated on him. Sad, very sad 😔😔😔

[@Parktrizzle]

Yeah, felt a little too pat.

[@piyushsharma3991]

Right? It's clearly visible that OP was just the last resort for her because she even after getting married and having kids with him still isn't able to get over Ty

[@DuelTubeChannel]

Because it is a doormat story, sadly

[@trublacking8572]

You do not know the definition of doormat you're just using it

[@BlackSunMobius]

The things someone says when they’re drunk, they just didn’t have the confidence to say when sober

[@paulchaudoir190]

One thing I did notice though that OP is not paying attention to. His wife said she wanted to get with Ty. Yes, she was drunk but when you are drunk sometimes the things you keep secret come out. I still believe she's trying to convince Ty to be with her.

[@billyjack2540]

More than that, she said "I thought you knew "!

[@Mytelefe]

You dont necessarily blurt out your secrets when you are drunk. Most of the time just say the first thing that comes to mind. Meaning during family dinner while probably assessing her life choices the first thing that came to her mind was that she still wants to smash Ty. Her later explanation had red flags all over and it took OP to make some olympic level mental gymnastics to sweep everything under the rug. The fact that nobody suggested DNA test on the kids was also disappointing but I bet OP wouldnt have the balls to do it anyway or even if he did and they came back negative he would still stay for the good of the kids and because maybe she had kids with other dudes but she still chose to raise them with him so it must count for something !

[@zachf748]

Story #2, she’s lying. There’s a huge difference between ‘giving a guy a shot at a date when you didn’t initially crush on him’ and ‘marrying a guy as a last resort’. No one that ever gave someone a chance after not initially liking him and then fell in love and married him would *_ever_* describe their relationship as *_"I only married him as a last resort"._*

[@rapsack7058]

I do not think so! It realy depends how she treats OP. It might be at the beginning, that she was chaing after another person so it would look like settleling for the secound best choice. BUT this can turn into a wonderfull relationship when you learn each other better known. As i said you can see it at how she is treating OP.

[@domlop9278]

@@rapsack7058Yeah I’m definitely not on team forgive. It doesn’t matter if she meant it or not; she said what she said, the way she said it and I’d have no choice but to believe her. Anything after that is just a script.

[@somelamenamehowaboutmr.juk6231]

I mean, she was drunk when she said that, and when you are drunk, you don’t think properly, so I would assume she said it in a way that her drunk self first thought of as a possibility.

[@eddyalonsomoramorales6069]

​@@somelamenamehowaboutmr.juk6231do You watch the video ???

[@whatever2144]

​@somelamenamehowaboutmr.juk6231 drunks are honest. Sober they can lie and mask. "The truth is at the bottom of the glass" or as Romans say:"In vino veritas"

[@elmaquiavelico5709]

God, I could feel my heart breaking for these guys.

[@_Sage967_]

the second story actually had a happy ending. just insecurities and uncomfortable history being brought forward, hell, OP even knew the guy wife was talking about and knew the extent of their relationship with each other which was basically non-existent. this is the kinda shit people should hope is the case rather than it being the first story were you press enough that the bitch enters her second phase and reveals her true form

[@elmaquiavelico5709]

@@_Sage967_ I don't know, I'm not fully convinced by her history, but I hope you are right.

[@_Sage967_]

@pissedpookie i wouldnt if it was JUST the wife's story but seeing as OP knows both of them and their situations up to present im inclined to agree due to the lack of evidence. im not 100% on board but at the same time you cant literally BE the person in question so we'll never really get that 100% but I'm optimistic for OP

[@diegonatan6301]

Don't feel bad for the second guy, he had his chance, but he failed the test, proved that he is an idiot and deserves every ounce of the punishment that the Universe is preparing for him in the form of cheating and probably a divorce.

[@thalmoragent9344]

@@diegonatan6301 I still feel bad about his naivete. I know he needs to learn the hard way but I don't want to see the man broken either, since all he wanted to do was hopefully get things back on track I pity him, in all honesty. I hope the "Universe" finds a way to get this man into a better place. If they have kids and comes to find out she committed Paternity Fraud... my heart goes out to the man.

[@mattl6300]

Story #2 In vino veritas. What she said was the truth. He's her back up plan and He's codependent on him. The real question in his mind should be, what would she do if Ty shows interest?

[@tonyjones1560]

You know...if he shows interest, even a reasonable facsimile of Ty will be blowing her back out as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Or she'll create it. This poor guy...

[@gannicusfinch7068]

First story: guy did it exactly right. Had no kids, so he just walked. Props to you for seeing through her subterfuge. Now she can pay for her own stuff. Edit: Contrast that with the guy in the second story, who is a COMPLETE chump/simp. Only a matter of time before her pants come down for "Ty," if they haven't, already.

[@bobfg3130]

Either her skirt went down for Ty or Ty really isn't that impressive anymore and she'll try the next one.

[@treacherousjslither6920]

Guy in the second story should get a DNA test done. Those kids are probably from the guy she really wanted.

[@thebrotherhood227]

Not if she was ugly

[@TheyCallHimTheTops]

1st: I have a very hard time believing she signed a prenup 2nd: No, it sounds like she is wasting YOUR time and planning on wasting more

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

She likely signed it because he wouldn't have married her without it

[@feuerschlange6374]

@@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer For good reason. I mean opening the floodgates to stop a fire? Ok, but then when it doesn't work pour hydrogen into the fire. The prenup was a good thing and, the sooner he dumps her the better

[@ratedr7845]

@Vergil the legendary dark slayer the court system is biased towards woman, if it's known that prenup is signed due to pressure, it can be overruled

[@philclip23]

I've been on a huge infidelity/relationship Reddit binge recently. Absolutely astonished at the amount of women who have no problem ruining people's lives. Horrible

[@FrostLordOni]

Last story: There’s a big difference between “I’m glad Ty rejected me, because I fell in love with you” and “I originally wanted Ty, I ended up settling for you”. If she still uses the word “settled” years later, then she isn’t talking about when you first started dating but is talking about now. She thinks she’s settled for you but could do better, she’s only staying with you because she’s had a kid with you. If she isn’t going to cheat on him then he should expect her to divorce him when their kid is older and she’s found someone she doesn’t think she’s settling for.

[@dinkyd1533]

Very late to this but that was my thought as well. All the reddit comments were supporting her side of the story & saying she had that mindset at the start of the relationship but grew to love him, etc but her drunken outburst shows she still has that mindset to this day. The OP is either overlooking that or is in denial.

[@shawne7228]

If guy number two is not going to leave her, then my best advice is for him to get a postnuptial agreement, if she won't sign it, she's probably already cheating or wants the safety net

[@mastercontrO]

Bro I would never settle for someone who thinks I'm their last choice I don't want scarps I want my prime steak I don't care if we have children I would leave her.

[@sosamma090]

Story 2 girl got into relationship with the guy to get with his friend. That is an absolute eww.

[@sosamma090]

@James Stewart Sometimes women come up with the dumbest ideas.

[@bohemianbrute1492]

Bf’s ex pushed him to be with them and break up with me so he could hurt me, two years later I end up pregnant with his son while lil bitch is crying for him to force me to get an abortion. And that’s the game of life, play stupid games, win stupid prizes...

[@cliffd8380]

The tale of Simps.😢 Last story is confusing. What about her drunk confession? Are we suppose to forget about it? Alrighty then.🤷🤦

[@absolidesto3359]

Please, move on, nothing to see nothing to see.

[@yourmother5810]

Facts. How does her new excuse, um I mean story fix or absolve the fact that she sees him as a last resort? She settled because she couldn't have Ty, but didn't want to be lonely.

[@TheMattc999]

Dude should get a lawyer and as he's handing her the papers tell her "here, now you no longer have to 'settle' on me...." ✌️👣👣👣

[@hld3738]

The guy in the second story is a sucker. Enjoy being a doormat.

[@theswedishdude1]

Proud of the first guy

[@elsaflood6393]

Second story . What if Ty come back and show interest on her? Will you trust her? Will she stay loyal? What is she doing to help you with your insecurities? Saying she wants to get on with Ty, is certainly NOT a way to show you how much she loves you. So why now, after marriage and 2 kids, Ty came out of her just like that?

[@denisecalvert7309]

I cant believe that guy really believed all that bs at the end then why post anything

[@Niveous23]

I mean, that one redditor told him EXACTLY how she was going to plan on minimizing it, gaslight him.... And it all came true. She never called him crazy, didn't have to. He pre-emptively called himself insecure. Anything that happens to him now is on him. I feel for his two kids though...

[@piyushsharma3991]

@@Niveous23 damn I gotta pick up some psychology courses just to be safe

[@daryldaniels4860]

@@Niveous23. That's even if the kids are his. He should do a DNA test.

[@SilveryBlue1010]

1st: "I love you.. I love your finance stability!" f-ing witch.. Nice move OP :)

[@jaydave1246]

First guy: CHAMP! Freaking awesome! Has a backbone! Second guy: WEAK ARSE BETA DOORMAT! COWARD

[@jaydave1246]

@Keys andFood And who said I was deciding for him?? That's my opinion and mine alone.

[@jaydave1246]

@Eddie LM Guy in the second story is being manipulated. Did not realise b*tch was using him to get the attention of the guy she wanted, but when the second guy didn't give her attention she settled down with him as a secondary choice. Down the road when the guy she wanted or another better man comes around, she gonna dump this SIMP. Then this idiot is going to post again what went wrong even though "HE" thought everything was alright. 🤦‍♂️ classic doormat.

[@user-tk3ou5ru1n]

"Beta" isn't a real insult my dude

[@hydacanal]

@@jaydave1246 totally agreed. Don't worry in few months or years. She'll be having adventures. She's not happy

[@nikig2891]

The problem I have with the 2nd story is that she said what she did in front of his family. He is going to move on but I would definitely hold a grudge, waiting for her to hurt my brother/cousin/ nephew. I hate people that hurt people I love. Now I’ve got a one way feud until one of us dies. Oh well.

[@stephenbriggs526]

Second choice always gets cheated on ty may not be there now but what happens when some other guy pays her some attention drunks always reveal how they feel. Don't tie her down let her go and find her ty.

[@Mr.McWatson]

I feel really bad for the first guy, but can someone tell my why in the hell you'd pay for your woman's car? And everything else? Are there that many desperate men?

[@fenrirswolh3]

No. Some guys like spoiling and treating their woman like a Queen. Ita not desperation, more like wanting to make sure they're comfortable and the bitches are greedy.

[@lolly166541]

@@fenrirswolh3 Yea, also she could still go to school (Uni) or have a lower-paying job, have a disability of sorts that would limit her hours at work - there are so many factors that only OP knows. As I've always made more than my Partners I liked spoiling them a bit. Especially as a person that believes that you should only buy once a decent product than multiple times a cheap one.

[@islandfantasy5931]

Yes it is desperate. Money can't buy you love. Most Men are addicted to the feeling they get when buying their gf a present.

[@OscaR-bo8ub]

The second guy is so silly 🤣🤣🤣

[@christopherbarker9313]

Props to this man for standing up for himself and getting out of that marriage.

[@rogermoore8977]

Being a doormat starting long before that phone call.

[@racistasian8073]

2nd story-wow, definitely simp. Alcohol bring out the truth and how u truly feel. She still manipulate him. She dated op to make TY jealous and notice her.

[@jaydave1246]

He's a weak arse beta, nothing more nothing less. A doormat to the bone

[@Niveous23]

"ty doesn't even like me" yea....but you don't need to like someone to bang them. ask...literally any man.

[@darkshadowsaver]

@@Niveous23 true 👍 i don't have to like anyone to bag chicks for fun.

[@callapratt7927]

I don’t buy the wife’s story. I might have believed it if she hadn’t pulled the “this is the worst relationship I’ve ever had, do you think I can’t get anyone else? You’ll never find anyone better than me.” Shes abusive and manipulative

[@RicardoLopez-ty4kn]

Is it? If you get phrases like that?

[@daledanz9924]

I love the fact that in the 2nd story his wife is still lusting after his friend for so many years and no one acknowledged it

[@thetallman9531]

Someone posted this once: When someone shows you who they are, believe them. As someone who's been where these two men are I can honestly say that splitting is the better option. And I believe the second wife's story is a coverup for not being able to keep it to herself while drunk. Hopefully I'm wrong, but I think it's going to end with him catching her in the act.

[@darthhater7896]

2nd story. You poor fool... If she didn't care about Ty anymore why is she saying things like that about him. Sounds like the wife and SIL cooked up some bulls*it and you bought it. A lot of times a few drinks bring out the truth.

[@cloudyboy1756]

2nd story , I’m surprised he managed to stay in the conversation when she said , “yes you were my last resort, I thought you knew that.”

[@DJprofessorK]

Wait so she has 2 kids and said this? I dont care if you are drunk. Drunk words are subconscious thoughts. The guy isnt the one with issues here, she needs therapy if she can still have these thoughts after 2 kids with this guy

[@olivergabriel4401]

the first story: what a chad the second story: thats a simp if I ever read about one

[@novanoir8309]

Well, if ever my wife tell me that i simply hand her a divorce letter. There's no point hanging on to dead relationships

[@Mike_5656]

It’s must be tough being a beta... She was telling the truth when she was drunk. Gotta give her a gold medal for spinning up a good lie and gas lighting this guy tho.

[@jeffdean5892]

Story 1 Her comments would indicate she not only settled but was unhappy overall Your right , it was only a matter of time before she made you hurt a LOT more just for her selfishness compared to what you feel now You kept your dignity and self respect so hold your head up , find someone who will give to you what you give to them Good luck

[@hauntedhouse7827]

I would annul the marriage since it is short term. She feels that way then nothing is going to change it. Don't let her manipulate her with tears.

[@robpowell1845]

Seconds story: Why the hell would Op's wife even bring up "Ty" in the first place? Especially after op and her are married with kids. This sounds like op bought the lie...

[@scottys1423]

First story: I think her plan was to live off the OP and then monkey branch to someone she wanted more. Probably monkey branch again after that. A true snake.

[@kruckcrusher8102]

If she really love him then she would have never said that or thought it.

[@wolfgang548]

Story 1 is something. She openly admitted to saying she settled for him, tells him she loves him then proceeds to curse him out like a piece of garbage, but she loves him. A woman who's with a man because she settled is not in a relationship. It's called convenience. Even if he had stayed with her, she would've left him eventually if she met someone she felt was better. And they wonder why growing numbers of men don't even want to date, let alone get married anymore.

[@drejames4191]

The in-laws always know something you do not know

[@MrSdragon197]

She want sexual escapades but settle for him because he provide security for her. This is the education of a feminist society.

[@islandfantasy5931]

This is a biological trait in women. She will always monkey branch to the best provider. She settled down with OP for financial assistance and keeps Chad/Tyrone on speed dial to hit her snatch. Idk of the prenup will be honored in divorce court. You are right about feminism brainwashing women. I call it the bee hive effect. The blind leading the blind and spreading misinformation. When society goes back to holding women accountable for their actions. The world will be a better place

[@islandfantasy5931]

I'm waiting for the simp or feminist to attack us and say we hate women

[@MrSdragon197]

@@islandfantasy5931 Yes, I don't hate women. In fact I love good, honest, faithful woman. I'm aware of our society today is heavy influence of feminism and the legal system is against men.

[@latoshabullock4723]

Thank god I'm not a feminist I can think for myself and never jumped on the band wagon. I know what goes around comes around. These women better wake up women are like bananas firm and ripe when young but the older they get they get they go bad until nobody wants them.

[@bobleece4152]

@@islandfantasy5931 Beta ducks and Alpha ducks.

[@tonymarshall6848]

Damn that first story. My ex girlfriend from a few years ago broke up with me because she said she didn't want to feel like she was settling for me. And let me tell y'all that shit will fuck you up worst than anything.

[@tcrpgfan]

At least she was honest.

[@triplemoyagames4195]

I hate the woman argument of "settling". You didn't settle, you got in where you qualify. You're not all that. It's like saying you settled to go to a state university cause you didn't get into an ivy league. You didn't settle, you got where you qualified

[@indiashante1560]

This! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@Niveous23]

Too true. It's too bad society lies to women. Tells them they can do no wrong. Well, they can. Women are still human beings at the end of the day. I see parents lying to little girls. The brainwashing starts early. Boys get a much more realistic upbringing. They are told almost nothing about being a boy. Just that they gotta work hard. And the boys that are treated like girls and called 'my handsome perfect lil' man'....well....they usually wind up spoiled.

[@triplemoyagames4195]

@@Niveous23 Facts. I refuse for my future daughters to be that delusional. Bitter honesty is better than a sweet lie. That's why a lot of asian woman co-op. They're told straight up

[@triplemoyagames4195]

@@indiashante1560 Thank You. Someone gets it

[@lanetteprice7508]

So sad for the first guys. How could someone love you and say something like this. Oh please don't have kids with her.

[@Stef3m]

Simply because she or he don't love you

[@STB-jh7od]

Story 2-"In Vino Veritas" nuff said

[@MrWebster]

In the second story, the OP married what the manosphere calls an alpha widow. If Ty wants her, she will leave the OP in a second. The countdown toward affairs or toward divorce has started. OP should get out on his own terms. Also, get a DNA test in case the kids are Ty's and he has been doing her as her lies are pretty convenient and sound like gaslighting.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

"think I can find someone again?" ...well apparently you don't because you told your friend so lol

[@murielross9288]

That last story, she worked that, omg, she settled and he's convincing himself it's all him. ugh

[@Laurels-id6qo]

Ngl tho like 9/10 when someone starts screaming that they can do so much better and that uc ant find anyone better it's usually cos they know that they won't find anyone better

[@johnrynkiewicz1607]

#2 Why did he ask Reddit about their opinion if he already knew he was going to stay with his wife anyway? This guy has a birdbrain.

[@lufsolitaire5351]

Some men are broken in early and due to their formative years end up subconsciously trying to please everyone. He believed everything society told him he needed to do and yet when faced with evidence to the contrary he goes running back to the cave. I’ve had to deal with a friend like this, let her step on him and he’ll either sink or swim. There’s no trying to convince him otherwise if he chooses denial.

[@notazip6814]

There's truth in wine

[@shawne7228]

Both of these men dreaded confronting their wives. It shows how men are scared shittless of their women. If the situation was reversed these women would he immediately start confronting the man. It's no wonder that men are starting to go their own way and not get married. Who wants to live being terrified of their wives? But most married men do.

[@alialahmad4329]

You really haven't heard stories about women choosing to ignore their husband having an affair did you Its not about fearing the person its fearing of facing the reality

[@jalenwashington581]

Exactly

[@rockersr.g.2410]

i agree that it's not really them being afraid of their wives, it's being afraid of the answer, but there is that annoying stereotype of men being scared of their wives, just like the 'nagging wife' stereotype or the 'guy who hates his wife' stereotype, i hate these but i have to ask, how many guys do you know who are actually afraid of their wives, what for, like did they do something or what, im not undermining, i'm curious

[@hermanhenderson966]

Lol at the guy from the second story.

[@John.McMillan]

"You think I can't find someone again?" -"Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn."

[@dallen3000]

First story title Me: well at least you didn't marry her. *Gets edited* Me: oof

[@kairikatarakimikogir]

Wow, imagine feeling pressured to get married at the age of 24, I’m 22 and my biggest worry is the type of cereal I eat for breakfast.

[@bowilliam3865]

24 is old

[@hhjj621]

​@@bowilliam3865 For what? Butterfly reproduction????

[@DJprofessorK]

Your wife doesnt say she regrets not getting with ty if she actually loves you. This man got gaslighted to the Nth degree

[@aztec0112]

Dude wasn't "2 base", he was the "penalty box".

[@jackson12802]

The second story has a lot of speculation without a lot of background on the wife.

[@DuelTubeChannel]

I think, given the details, we can assume than until anyone pay attention to her, they'll stay together. The moment Ty or a new Ty come to the stage, it's over.

[@alenasenie6928]

Story 1: whit that reaction and those words, there is no way that relationship would have lasted, there is almost a sure thing here, she will have cheated. And the "you never will find someone like me" any adult will realize that that is exactly the whole idea of breaking up.

[@Mantatheone]

Story 2: the fact that she's willing to say horrible things in public but won't say good things just makes her a bad wife, period.

[@russellkeeling9712]

In the story in which the woman told her friend she married her husband as a last resort she can now call her friend and tell her the husband doesn't want her as his last resort. He decided to do better.

[@TheBerkeleyBeauty]

I would’ve (accidentally) made sure the first chick knew that she wasn’t my first choice either. Even if it wasn’t true.

[@DaddyDynastic]

Second Story got played so hard and the closing comments really helped her Gaslight him into thinking he was overreacting because of his insecurities they did him so dirty man This isn't a drunk conversation she had a long time ago that you just found out about she said it that night in front of you