Get A Prenup: Managing Money with an 18-year Age Gap

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

This episode is brought to you by the following: Nurture Life: For 55% off your order, head to www.NurtureLife.com and use code VALERIA Orgain: If you want to get in on the delicious protein-packed nutrition today, head to www.Orgain.com/VALERIA and use code: VALERIA for 20% off your order If you enjoyed this episode, please like this video and subscribe to my channel for more Not Alone! Your support means the world to me 🫶 Thank you!

[@jayneallisonlaity9891]

@@ValeriaLipovetsky oh just realised. That's sad you've tried to use this to sell shite

[@blancaf7503]

I can’t imagine having an argument with Gary, it would be so exhausting. Though he seems like a great person, he seems very argumentative. I would just let him win just so I can have peace 😂 I feel like an argument would go for days…. Still a fan of yours, Gary, but just watch back your videos and analyze yourself.

[@CatMoonErickson]

The screaming is called primal therapy, and you do it so u don't scream at your husband.

[@toppokakashi]

I started this video without reading the comments, and felt so uncomfortable the first 5 mins, so I checked the comment and realize I’m not alone.

[@bellemarin5782]

Likewise. Reading the comments helped me appreciate

[@Reevay762]

Valeria you're a great listener, patient and articulate. I hope Gary will learn from you. Age doesn't guarantee maturity.

[@MsDarBay]

It feels like conversation between father and misbehaving child. I feel so sorry for Valeria.

[@IDF493]

Me too! I feel also sorry for her. She has daddy issues

[@RR-et6zp]

Why? lol

[@MashuCocoG]

1. Self-Centered Perspective: Gary tends to center everything around himself; if he doesn't feel it or relate to it, it becomes irrelevant or unimportant in his view. 2. Contradictory Behavior: Although Gary often says, “I’m not into the detail” he frequently interrupts Valeria and corrects her wording, instead of trusting that he understands what his wife means. His actions contradict his own statements and demonstrate a need to control the narrative. 3. Controlling Language and Double Standards: Gary uses phrases like "I'll make you do it," which, leaves room to interpretation, he’s not careful with his words but expect Valeria to be at all times. He doesn’t allow her the same freedom to express herself with statements like "my kids" or "my money," immediately interpreting her words as a reflection of her mindset. He often claims that he doesn't care about how others perceive him, but his need to control how his wife thinks suggests otherwise. For example, he frequently assumes that because Valeria phrases something in a particular way, she embodies a certain attitude that he feels compelled to correct. Her having to say I’m not excusing myself, shows that this is a pattern, when she explains what she means, and if that differs with his view, she is excusing herself 4. Lack of Self-Reflection: Gary does not come across as someone who has a healthy relationship with either his masculine or feminine side. He seems secure in his wealth and his belief in his unique ideas, but this confidence appears to mask deeper insecurities and a glaring lack of self-reflection.

[@alexandrasarmiento491]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@annywind7609]

@@MashuCocoG this needs to be upvoted and I really hope Valeria sees it.

[@brunapimentel789]

What in the AI...

[@rugilecibulskaite9260]

IT IS SO TRUE. He often acts disrespectful to her. I don't believe that he is that way, but maybe its subconscious desire to control everything.

[@sharonjoan9997]

Well said. I do believe the age gap has something to do with this. His constant correction is exhausting. I have a twenty yr old and she’s probably despise me if I did that many critiques. Of course she wants to make money. She needs something to make her feel sort of equal in this relationship. I’m sure her language barrier contributes to the auto correct of the husband and spills over to EVERYTHING else. “ I’m offended you say ‘my kids’. Really? Offended? Women need to feel their deep connections for their kids- that came from ‘my womb’. Let her be sir. That daddy vibe you had when she was 20 has to lift sometime. Gary’s mistake was getting with a 20 yr old. He hasn’t transitioned into Valeria becoming a full grown entity. He lacks respects and patience. She’s trying to get his respect and patience but may not get it till 50’s ?

[@iouliamckee8786]

I think the biggest issue I’m having with this is that Gary doesn’t allow Valeria to finish any of her thoughts. Literally, every other word is questioned and in a very aggressive and arrogant way. It keeps the listeners on edge the whole time because most of the people on here would speak up and tell him to behave in a more respectful manner. Just an overall uneasy feeling anytime Gary is on the podcast. Ultimately, different opinions and suggestions are great, but perhaps a person should be able to at least finish their train of thought.

[@Hello95-]

I used to really enjoy watching your videos but it seems now that you re both obsessed with money and seem to forget about the meaningful things in life .

[@sharonjoan9997]

Yes. It had me feeling tense as a mom. I wouldn’t want to see my daughter have to rethink restate and apologize for her thoughts this often.

[@ChristelleRabil-hy3hn]

Hilarious how he got offended about the concept of "her money" but he made her sign a prenup to protect his money. The audacity

[@Vanillacolada]

If 95% of the comments are saying the same thing about Gary, I don’t think *we* are the ones misunderstanding the situation/dynamic in front of us. We have eyes and ears, and what we see and hear is not okay. I wish Valeria won’t just brush the audience’s comments off, and actually reflect on what we are seeing from a third-person perspective.

[@icantwiththis]

I'm sure she's very aware

[@Vanillacolada]

@@icantwiththis she’s aware of the comments but she doesn’t think it’s a problem. She says this towards the end of the video

[@silvanaaad]

She might be ok with this as well as Gary where he also mentioned that he is not trying to be rude or anything but yet what we receive is him being aware of cutting her every minute and not willing to control his excitement and give thus respect to her to finish a sentence. No matter what he is the guest of this podcast , however he might claim just like how its our money its our podcasts too .

[@DrSZehavitD]

It’s cultural their dynamic, and it’s the same dynamic in my culture. Ppl always want to point out things that they think are an issue bc it’s an issue they would have in their own relationship. The day she starts listening to you ppl about her marriage, it the day she’ll be coming closer to a divorce.

[@user-fj2jo9uy7i]

Yes, it is painful watching Valeria have to justify herself for minute thoughts that should and could be open and easy for her to express. However, I think it is perfectly fine whatever these 2 adults do, their relationship is between them, and it does seem to work so it is not for us to judge. Plus, they make money from this, so good on them. It's just that we should stop watching this trash because it is not serving us any good. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with only what you want to see.

[@iammrsaudreyyy]

Girl, I don’t care how sweet and nice that man may seem. You always have your own bank account! Just like he wanted that prenup for security, you get your own bank account for security

[@misswiss278]

omg so true...if all of that didnt matter and it is THEIR money as he always claims he wouldnt need that prenup..like stop it

[@98love7]

I feel so sorry seeing Valeria forced to defend herself against her HUSBAND patronizing and criticizing her and treating her like an ignorant child… even now that she’s an older adult and clearly very well spoken and intelligent. Listening to him constantly criticizing makes my heart race and puts me in a slight stress response mode coming from a toxic/abusive relationship… I’m really hoping she can wake up to the reality that she deserves wayyyy better than this draining bull

[@Tach_H]

OMG SAME

[@Hello95-]

I agree

[@cars4558]

I always saw this part of Gary. Even when this podcast didn't exist. The problem I see is that she hasn't stopped growing, evolving, generating business and money and he can't stand not being the main provider, he feels threatened by her success. The way he talks to her is embarrassing, but the fact that she posted this video proves that this behavior is totally condoned in their relationship. What a derogatory way to address her . Gary, if you read this: You're not that wise, you're not that smart, you don't know that much about everything. Shut up a little and let your wife speak, she is the one we want to listen to.

[@RR-et6zp]

lol dude. Men don’t care about career, security, safety etc, it’s not a topic of conversation. She dates up by default

[@Ribbitplease]

You’re pretty rude. I think he makes good points where he sees their resources whether it was garnered from her or him as “theirs”. That’s a nice way of seeing it. I wouldn’t want my husband to see his income as “only his”. This is the attitude where it will change into controlling and hard questioning all her expenses.

[@timeat26]

Oufff this was a painful watch. I find their concluding remarks at 1:01:29 very telling. After an entire hour of getting dismissed, lectured and patronised by Gary, Valeria praises him for for both how he showed up in the conversation and the role he plays in the family in general, by saying "I think you're doing a great job; you're educating all of us -- me included." This is exactly how he craves to be seen, and he says as much right there and then. Instead of responding with humility, perhaps talk about what HE's got to learn from HER, he reaffirms his need for validation: "I feel you're like extra impressed with me today. It makes me feel good when you think well of me." And the feedback loop reinforces itself. He continues to feel like the epitome of wisdom and success -- and she, the little girl who just has SO much to learn...

[@sharonjoan9997]

Well said. It would be nice if he reciprocated. But no. He is the valuable one here

[@elisejo]

She would make it even if you didn’t exist Gary, because she has her on light and it’s very bright! No one cares who is behind her, it’s her personality that brings the business, that’s something you can’t couch or teach.

[@Ribbitplease]

I’m not sure why you feel the need to put down her husband, though. I’m pretty sure he had an impact for her to feel as confident as she is.

[@kirstireinholdtsen]

​@@RibbitpleaseI agree. I found him generous. With both money, good advices and he is open and inklusive.

[@alwaysinspiredbaku]

it's impossible to listen to this. I don't comment usually, but I remember the only two times I did (and i've been a follower since 2017) were when the very first podcast with Gary came out, and now this one. The CONSTANT interrupting is insane. Not a single sentence has been finished by Valeria. Not a single one. And while this could be normal in your personal life and dynamic, it's an absolute pain to all your listeners. I couldn't focus on any thought that was started by Valeria, because I had to instantly refocus to what Gary had to correct about it. It's truly insane.

[@sharonjoan9997]

Yes. Very difficult to listen to. As a mother, as Gary would say over and over, I’m offended.

[@IsabellaHannah-c6w]

Its funny because in private i'm sure a lot of couples interrupt each other because they are comfortable but for a podcast it is an improvement point, I do agree Gary was interrupting too much in this which made it hard to concentrate, its a bit too argumentative atmosphere from him not sure why

[@babysantos8997]

Gary went from "go sweetie" to " your wrong again" It's sad to see how man change when a woman keeps growing and they know they can't. Her mind is expanding and he seems threatened by not being the wisest person in the room. It's like he has to question everything she says and steal the microphone. "I think think I think" Please do some self work, the ego is getting inflated and destructive, maybe the roids are influencing too. Being a man is not being rude with a smile. She learned to deal with your toxicity and give the other cheek but it's not right for you to use her as a condescending punching bag. Fix yourself Gary, Valeria is precious

[@juliat1526]

i like valeria a lot & i think she has so much life to discover and to claim as hers… but somehow she is wasting it with him by her side.

[@hellol4045]

Looks like he is not dealing well with this new valeria who is empowered and confident in her own thoughts hence he constantly tries to reestablish dominance by trying to nitpick every little thing she says to show he is smarter and more experienced than her to keep her below him. This old man has insecure written all over his face😂 we love YOU VALERIA❤

[@kasiapei7895]

​​​@@hellol4045he is smarter and more experienced.

[@jenniferurbanic]

So she can't say "I think" but he can. He starts his sentences with "I think" way more than she does

[@albinaianurova7772]

Exactly! Before Gary was so nice and supportive but I now can't listen to their podcasts or watch videos with him cuz he turned into a grumpy, jealous and criticising man.

[@HereKittyKittyKittyKitty]

VALERIA PLEASE A PODCAST WITH YOUR GORGEOUS MOM IS MUCH NEEDED ❤️‍🔥

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

coming soon!!

[@sopushk]

@@ValeriaLipovetskyI’m glad you’re reading comments, hope your husband doesn’t too.

[@ihsan7A]

What’s wrong with her saying “I make money, my money” it’s literally her working hard to get that money not you. If it does not matter why you wanted to sign a prenup. It’s because you thought it’s your money.

[@sharonjoan9997]

✅

[@dalilaselimovic1147]

She has so much patience...the way he talks and interrupts her isn't nice !

[@RR-et6zp]

She’s dating up by default , grow up

[@sethm3856]

Gary "i don't know if you're doing that female thing subconsciously". Valeria "it's not subconscious, it's literally the topic of the video".

[@sharonjoan9997]

Ha

[@laurenhills239]

If Valeria ever decides to choose herself I will support her 100%

[@sophievanbeek7768]

I feel like only one opinion is accepted within this relationship and it’s not hers

[@RR-et6zp]

Well you’re wrong

[@Sofia-ef1sv]

He sounds a lot like how my ex would talk to me. The need to dominate the conversations, correcting every little detail until I forget what I was even talking about, overly critical, being argumentative, needing to be right. The conversations were a reflection of his fragile ego and the need to be constantly validated and admired. It was exhausting.

[@matchaa121]

Gary is offended that Valeria wants a separate bank account, yet he wanted a prenup before the marriage. Make it make sense😂

[@RubyWaller89]

No, he views the family as a unit. From what he says, his money is also her money in his mind. Both contribute to the family’s growth and overall wellbeing, regardless of their roles. Initially, he was the main provider, but now she might contribute even more through her social media presence. The prenup was his way of protecting her if the relationship ever ended, knowing she would change over time since she was so young when they married. It was about sorting things out before any potential conflict and ensuring her continued wellbeing. He even mentions that it wouldn't be fair for either of them to face financial turmoil because of a failed relationship

[@matchaa121]

@@RubyWaller89 Then why is he offended that she wants a separate bank account? They had a prenup 'just in case', why can't Valeria have a bank account just in case?

[@pinagrrrr2280]

@@RubyWaller89 😂😂😂

[@dadada8464]

gonna watch this and use garys passive agression as fuel for my workout

[@dorinehelene]

lool!!

[@sharonjoan9997]

Lmao

[@sharonjoan9997]

He gave me a bit of testosterone surge… I kinda wanna hit something 😝

[@Messyabc]

Gary is so insecure about himself and so threatend of how Valeria is changing and growing mentally and financially. I mean wasnt it initially his plan from the start to get a very young beautiful woman, groom and patronize her (which he is still doing but now she fights back), make her 3 kids thus making it so hard for her to ever leave him. I cant imagine her begging him for more kids lol Now, when she expresses independent thoughts on marriage and relationship, he cuts her off every time trying to reject her ideas, f.ex the conversation of her having a bank account of her own. He is literally afraid she would do that one day. And also him reminding her several times in all of their interviews how it was him pushing her career forward so that she never forgets where she comes from and that she kinda owns him sth in return. Gary, continue like that and she will be gone in couple of years, regardless the kids.

[@DrSZehavitD]

Watch it again, listen carefully, and garner some understanding. Then edit your comment w/facts.

[@sabrinal6645]

Because Gary is not a great catch… and they are literally not on the same level 😂😂😂😂😂 if I am Valeria I won’t deal with a 55 years old guy who has a beer belly while she is having the super model body 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@DrSZehavitD]

@@sabrinal6645 do you know Gary’s net worth? Not everyone chooses a partner based on looks, he didn’t have the body now when they married. You marry for life, and take all the changes that come with that. Most of you WILL NEVER find true love in your lifetime, and that’s facts. Almost 95% of you WILL NEVER find a man who will love and value you like Gary loves and values Valeria.

[@RR-et6zp]

lol dude. He doesn’t care about career of survival value. 1. Men don’t care about security, safety etc, it’s not a topic of conversation 2. She’s not his equal, women date up

[@RR-et6zp]

@@sabrinal6645he’s rare , she’s not. Men don’t look for career , security etc. it’s not what we care about

[@lesiabirklin977]

Valeria and Gary, please make the next podcast about the comments to your podcasts with Gary and discuss it. I think it has become a specific topic 😁 If we are talking seriously, I think, Gary should read all these comments, it's only one way how you can improve yourself. Because it can not be that all these people are mistaken and only Gary is right. This is just not how it works. Gary, you have to be open to criticism, if you are a smart person. And you are not old for being able to change.

[@juditalbert7178]

I hate when people suggest they should be separated…. And then what? They have a family toghether so even if Gary wont change (but highly recommend it to be more open to critics or at least dont bring him here anymore 😅) they will be in each other’s lives. Also Gary has so many good qualities ❤ I absolutely see how Val likes him

[@aikoyumiko7961]

29:45 Dynamic of grooming has nothing to do with sexism, Gary. Regardless if you’re married (or single), you can't make people (regardless of gender) do anything. That's because making someone do something, even if it's for their own good, requires either coercion or manipulation. Thus, it extremely toxic. You can make suggestions and let the person decide for themselves. The fact you do not respect your wife enough to let her speak in her own platform is disrespectful. The fact you interrupt and talk down to your wife each time she tries to voice her opinion is unkind. Your toxicity in using coercion/manipulation, disrespect, and unkindness is what is triggering, not to women only as you say, but to all people. Everyone deserves to be respected, treated kindly, and heard regardless of their gender.

[@RR-et6zp]

It’s not that, it’s just that we speak directly and you are interpreting it as down

[@icantwiththis]

​@@RR-et6zpwhose we? Lol!

[@lillyh.4505]

I'm really struggling to follow this conversation. Gary is a lot! Interrupting, arrogant and patronising. I used to like him a lot. In the last 1 year it's so frustrating listening to podcasts where him and Valeria are talking. Right now I'm at 13:31 and I had to already pause twice with a break of 2hrs because I get pissed. I really don't know how Valeria does it.

[@annywind7609]

@@lillyh.4505 100% agree with you! I also used to like Gary before…too sad.

[@ELIZZAofficial]

omg me at 13:17

[@icantwiththis]

37:25 😩😩🤢🤢🤮🤮

[@daisiesandchaos]

feel like hes going through a mid life crisis. and while hes going through that, he sees her growing and becoming more confident and independent and probably feels threatened by that

[@Arsip-b3k]

6:05 why is Garry lecturing Valeria like a little girl? The tone is really unnecessary, she isn’t your child. I feel so sorry for Valeria having to deal with it

[@hellol4045]

Looks like he is not dealing well with this new valeria who is empowered and confident in her own thoughts hence he constantly tries to reestablish dominance by trying to nitpick every little thing she says. He is insecure written all over his face. 😅

[@CBEEBLE]

I don’t know why everyone is up in arms. Gary is calling it out at the root. A man would be a finance expert but Nicole a finance girl. He’s merely pointing out the way we self sabotage at the core of our dialogue. Is it us women who are triggered by the facts?

[@radzbites]

@@CBEEBLE I think the term finance "girly" actually comes from tiktok cos now everything is a something -girl/girly. This felt like a boomer misunderstanding something a gen z/millennial is saying cos they don't understand it. And his whole rant about the "misogyny" of calling her a girly is so mansplaining. I mean the entire episode was him mansplaining but well

[@CBEEBLE]

@@radzbites As someone who has worked in business development, management consultancy, I don’t know if I would appreciate being called a “Finance Girly”. I accept that may be relevant and a reference to TikTok reels but in a professional environment/ real life business environment it would be completely inappropriate. You would never hear a man being referred to as a finance boy because his competence would never even be remotely connected to his gender and I think that is the point. It should be about competence that is ultimately what creates respect.

[@radzbites]

@@CBEEBLE im sorry if this is rude but may i know how old are you/which generation you're from?

[@tatevikhovsepyan7990]

It’s so hard to watch with Gary being so arrogant and impulsive. He doesn’t let her finish and has to cut off every 5 minutes.

[@icantwiththis]

That's why he needs a wife 18 years younger...so there's an emotional maturity balance. I'm not saying that to be rude either.

[@tatevikhovsepyan7990]

She is very intelligent and it’s interesting to hear her speak.

[@christianeluna6187]

I agree! His behavior and tone is unnecessary

[@thatswhatsup0493]

They married when she was so young, it's creepy

[@kiaraechegaray3164]

Omg! I thought I was the only one who thought that! I got an eerie feeling when listening like I felt uncomfortable for her. He seems to be arrogant, and almost correcting or challenging her or like in an embarrassing way but she handled it so gracefully . Idk there’s something I don’t like about him and how he treats her! She seems so sweet,caring and smart! I can’t stand this guy! Don’t know how she’s still married to him! He acts like a cocky jerk! Sorry

[@Star-dz3ei]

I see something in these two. Being brutally honest. I dont see he knows how to talk to her with love. He's super critical of her and finds her almost unnecessary. Id like to see where these two are at with each other in 30 years. She wants to grow. I see him perpetually clipping her wings. Sorry. I see what I see.

[@victorialander5615]

Can he acknowledge for once that she is the successful one of the two, and talk to her like SHE has something to teach him?

[@Tatiana-wp8ei]

nah, im afraid he thinks he’s the one who made her famous

[@sharonjoan9997]

No. He is her teacher from the time she’s 20. She will always be the one who smaller than him

[@heloisedeneuville9195]

I don't see why it would be a problem for a married individual to have its own bank account AND a joint bank account. I get the impression that Valeria doesn't want to reconsider a number of things because the benefits she derives from having a husband as reassuring and loyal as Gary outweigh the potentially negative consequences of questioning her husband's certainties. Her need to have an extremely protective partner is rooted in her childhood traumas, and I'm beginning to wonder how much he uses and plays on it. I have the feeling that he's subtly making her feel that his total loyalty as a husband is superior to "her little attempts" at emancipation. Whereas what she's addressing is normal and healthy. I love and respect them, I mean no harm by saying this. Every couple has its challenges.

[@annywind7609]

@@heloisedeneuville9195 💯👏👏👏

[@Soltopmtz]

I usually don't comment on videos, but I felt it was necessary. When I saw the title of this podcast, it caught my attention a lot-the perspective on finances in a couple with an age difference, especially when both reach the same potential. However, it was painful to watch, and unfortunately, I was never able to finish listening to your opinion. (40:34) was specially hard to Watch. I think that whenever you wanted to return to the topic, Gary would just refocus on how he has supported you and what you have because of him. It seems like he's afraid of seeing your independence because it might mean you no longer need him, which is why he constantly reminds you of "our kids, not YOUR kids" and "OUR bank account, not YOUR bank account." In any case, I totally validate and understand what you were trying to say at the beginning. Financial independence as a woman is extremely important for your confidence and security; it certainly makes a difference in how you feel about what you bring to the relationship and the self-perceived capability to achieve it.

[@RR-et6zp]

1. She is there because of him 2. He doesn’t care about career or independence or whatever

[@olga998123]

He is so dependent on her validation. Cute. She patronizes him, tells him how much he appreciates him all the fucking time. What’s not cute is him pretending he is the dominant in the relationship and trying to correct everything she says. Gary, Valeria is the strong one in this relationship. And you need to affirm this if you really are healthy confident. And it’s so crazy how at the end he mentioned his special project and his „amazing“ contribution to this project I don’t remember the name of, after mentioning that in a family one should never say how much money he personally made/ show off his achievement as personal. Where is the fucking „we did this together, we are doing a great job there“?

[@magdabiel4201]

The age gap worked for a while because he was always a cave man taking care of young girl, liking how she grows, bullshit that he knew how she will grow one day, marriage is never "all known future", but now she is in her 30s and has three kids and it is her full on woman time. She has every right to be herself today more than ever. Her life is just starting now as she is aware and councious. So go girl. Also, you guys should not make podcasts when not on the same page, clearly he goes through some hard times and revaluating himself... people care about your opinion but now it will just be hate on every comment as she is on it and spot on and almost sad how this conversation goes and he does not like it and is in denial in general but he should. So this isnt nice to listen to. Gary is not authentic, seems confused and lost and unhappy. When if not now that he has this full woman shaped and self councious and should just love it where had they got. Good luck to you both.

[@gloramanuilova4970]

Gary has learned nothing from reading comments in previous episodes he is in. Theres rude comments, but theres also constructive critisism. Put the ego aside and understand you come off very patronizing and obnoxious. It's making for unpleasant listening.

[@icantwiththis]

53:22 😩😩😩

[@damlapullukcu8291]

I love Valeria and have been following her for years. I usually don't leave negative comments on videos, but after watching this episode, I understand why Valeria can't continue her therapy sessions. Clearly, she is not ready to confront the feelings people are mentioning here in the comments

[@kiaraechegaray3164]

Gary was simply 👎🤮 I think she outgrew him and they should consider marital counseling 😢it’s sad to watch how he puts her down…

[@winterqueen6095]

Marital counseling doesn't work with dudes like Gary. They are incapable of seeing their mistakes and being honest, they will always play the victims.

[@sharonjoan9997]

Painful. I wonder what her mom says about this. It’s so disrespectful

[@tipseadoggo9]

was 16 minutes into the podcast and felt so turned off by gary’s attitude (look, eye roll, tone, words, body language) and also did not agree with most of what he said. decided to stop and read the comments. glad i’m not the only one because it’s so painfully obvious that gary just wants to exert authority over valeria. he questions and cuts off valeria almost every other sentence. there was NOTHING wrong with valeria trying to set up context and saying that he was earning more due to his businesses when they met. on one hand, he wants to portray the image that he’s supportive of successful women/valeria, on the other end, he is trying to police valeria. he also has no qualms about using negative words to describe valeria. contrary to what gary believes, as a woman, we do not think that we are not contributing enough just because we are a homemaker and we are not making the money. the problem is with the man who feels that they have authority over the woman/family because they are the ones bringing home money. they claim that they see the contribution by the woman, but deep down and when push came to shove, they believe that they play a much more important role. just one example of what i don’t agree with but gary speaks as if only his opinion is right. i’m sure they read all these comments and gary may defend himself by saying that it was just his way as a guest to keep the conversation going but he does it in such a demeaning way. or they would say that this is just their dynamic because they know each other so well. gary has taught and guided valeria a lot in adulthood and he definitely contributed to valeria’s success. still, the dynamic that they have is not healthy. it may work for them but it’s not to be romanticised or looked up to. it’s plain disrespectful to valeria and a turn off for viewers.

[@julianitz7054]

I really don’t see the problem in saying “my kids” and it’s like his knit-picking everything see says to show how great he is. I feel like it’s a reflection for the need for Gary to take credit for literally everything Valeria does.. at the end of the day she carried the children, she birthed them, they are just as much her kids as they are their kids.

[@LeaDeven]

Garys obsession with her looking like a 20 year old is worrying. No, she will not always look like that, Gary. No wonder she desperately tries to look young and always makes videos intended to get respective compliments from her followers to validate her. The shadow of being a trophy wife, youth for money and security, but sadly youth vanishes. Not that Gary will find someone else but he is simply stuck in wanting to have a teenager, both physically and mentally. I suspect she is so obsessed with her tanning video as she is desperately trying to find evidence in footages and pics that she has not aged. Valeria, you did and that's ok, there are younger girls in their twenties and you can tell the difference vis a vis. I am sorry for her and hope she finds a man who is less obsessed with a teenage look so she can be truly free and grow into a mature woman in her 40ies. 🙏

[@sharonjoan9997]

A husband can claim to protect and love you but if he’s not willing to look in the mirror and see that his love hurts you, disregards you, belittles you then it’s not real love

[@Sunnyforlife1234]

This is the reality of a lot of large age gaps relationship.NOT ALL but a lot .It’s like listening to my mom and my dad ,every expression was challenged ,always interrupting ,he always had something to teach as if she was a child even though she was an adult . they are always wiser and right and you are always “learning “ and “unfit” to add much to the conversation..🤦‍♀️She’s strong

[@icantwiththis]

She has long term vision

[@bebitamira3054]

Please, please, please Valeria. He does not respect you. Don’t bring him to YOUR PODCAST. Leave him at home, or whatever. We don’t want him in here.

[@christianeluna6187]

He is demeaning and horrible, please keep him out hes going to ruin your podcast

[@Mary-dk7mc]

Relax girlie. This is just one side of him that we are seeing of him. Just like you are complex so is he. He talks to Valeria like that because they've probably always had this relationship where he has had to teach her things because she is significantly younger and was only 20 in the beginning.

[@tipseadoggo9]

was 16 minutes into the podcast and felt so turned off by gary’s attitude (look, eye roll, tone, words, body language) and also did not agree with most of what he said. decided to stop and read the comments. glad i’m not the only one because it’s so painfully obvious that gary just wants to exert authority over valeria. he questions and cuts off valeria almost every other sentence. there was nothing wrong with valeria trying to set up context and saying that he was earning more due to his businesses when they met. on one hand, he wants to portray the image that he’s supportive of successful women/valeria, on the other end, he is trying to police valeria. he also has no qualms about using negative words to describe valeria. contrary to what gary believes, as a woman, we do not think that we are not contributing enough just because we are a homemaker and we are not making the money. the problem is with the man who feels that they have authority over the woman/family because they are the ones bringing home money. they claim that they see the contribution by the woman, but deep down and when push came to shove, they believe that they play a much more important role. just one example of what i don’t agree with but gary speaks as if only his opinion is right. i’m sure they read all these comments and gary may defend himself by saying that it was just his way as a guest to keep the conversation going but he does it in such a demeaning way. or they would say that this is just their dynamic because they know each other so well. i’m sure gary has taught and guided valeria a lot in adulthood and he definitely contributed to valeria’s success. still, the dynamic that they have is not healthy. it may work for them but it’s not to be romanticised or looked up to. it’s plain disrespectful to valeria and a turn off for viewers.

[@m.s.3345]

Jesus...if you make money, you made them..there is nothing offensive about that..Valeria, you do not have to apologize ...Gary is soo manipulative..

[@MsSunny9]

This is a representation of an enlightened soul who’s waking up conversing with the ego. I can sense Valeria’s soul is much much older than his. Much love to each and everyone’s path, for each journey is it’s own work of art. No matter what stage each soul is in there is no wrong. ❤

[@sharonjoan9997]

He’s definitely not mature. He is domineering and thinks he is wise. A fully confident woman wouldn’t interact with this. He won bc he got her young. She’s been groomed to deal with his dominance before she could articulate what she needed in a man. Not just physical protection but soul soothing protection. Softened patience. Easy acceptance. Gentle compassion. Oh Valeria. When you go into your 50’s I see it.

[@RR-et6zp]

No it’s just that he cares about facts and information

[@RR-et6zp]

@@sharonjoan9997 1. Men don’t care about security, confidence, safety etc, it’s not a topic of conversation 2. He prefers facts based, not feelings based

[@agape13]

There is something which is quite confusing…. Gary is repeating „our“, „our“….and is suggesting that he is not distinguishing …between who earned what - BUT why did he than want prenup? I mean prenup, yes -- but why not than having separated financial accounts when you get married?

[@Arsip-b3k]

It feels like he’s stealing her credits by referring to “our”

[@hellol4045]

Valeria Inc as a brand and valeria can still move ahead without Gary, but can Gary move ahead at this speed of light without Valeria? Which is why he keeps emphasizing as "we". He at this point has way more to lose than her if the relationship ends. At the beginning when she was young, clueless and no money so he asked for prenup but now she is supersuccessful and makes the big bucks he wants everything to be "we". The emphasis on the "we" is to ensure she doesn't kick him out of the picture. Looks like he is struggling to deal with this new relationship dynamic. Grow up old man!

[@lucilephilippe]

Why are you Gary cutting Valeria every 20 seconds in her sentence? She is simply talking about the subject of this video (finance), trying to finish her points and you sound like you want to correct her on every little details...

[@runtothetopelise]

I'm a long-time follower here, I reached out to Valerie for a brand deal years ago when she was just blowing up on Instagram and youtube. Seeing how she grew and reinvented herself, stepping out of her comfort zone is amazing. I sense that one day she doesn't need gary if he is still the person he is today. I do think they love each other, and I think gary would give up his life for his family, but he won't give up his money for his family. The way he talks about money bothers me a lot as he thinks of this as a form of protection, for himself.

[@fattts9510]

Yeahh.. this was such a hard watch.

[@Linhday20]

it’s really hard to watch honestly, there is no “we” in this talk, it’s only about “Gary Google Big boss who knows everything, and being arrogant”

[@Varga5]

Gary takes everything so seriously. It’s annoying. You didn’t marry someone your age you married someone younger. Shes learning as she grows.

[@nekotfarmer]

Sounds like you're attracted to goofballs with little to no aspirations; some women like serious men who run the world, because you need to be serious to make any real impact and run a successful household.

[@Smilegirl622]

6 minutes in and i already had to pause like 3 times because of how uneasy this makes me feel. Gary sounds more like a lecturer/professor telling his student what she did wrong than a husband Edit: I don't think there's anything wrong with saying finance girl. When it comes to men I always say and hear other people saying finance guy, you don't necessarily have to say finance expert regardless of their gender

[@sharonjoan9997]

Agreed

[@nekotfarmer]

Are you married?

[@mariannekelly8526]

Gary is very condescending. Checking out.

[@Marylouise_1]

Gary kindly shut up!!!! Learn from ur wife to be silent when the other person is talking and stop speaking down to ur beautiful wife!

[@RR-et6zp]

He isn’t speaking down. Men speak directly. That’s the confusion. I see it at work

[@Novella181]

Valeria, we want to hear you and your thoughts! No more episodes with Gary please

[@Linhday20]

this is exactly what I want to comment!

[@kimbo5260]

53:20 It was hard to see him call you childish and you just agreed with it. You don’t have to. It definitely is not childish. 13:33 It is a similar situation too. He says something negative about you and you immediately repeat what he says.

[@CBEEBLE]

Hmmm I didn’t see it this way. When you have children who are minors you need to be the adult and face the responsibilities and consequences should you, heaven forbid, leave this earth before they become adults. That is the responsibility of being a parent and agree it would be childish to not deal the practicalities because it is “too difficult”.

[@daisiesandchaos]

ikr? she was 20... what does he expect from a 20 year old? to be an expert of money? and like she said, she liked adventure, which is completely normal at that age. its so weird how he tries to portray her as that child. shes over 30 now.

[@radzbites]

i felt it was so boomer and misogynistic of him to assume having emotions about a literal heavy topic is "childish", and yet he was lecturing HER about sexism. sigh

[@RR-et6zp]

@@radzbites 1. Men don’t care about career, security, safety etc, it’s not a topic of conversation 2. She’s not his equal, women date up 3. It’s normal to be mature at 20 outside of the west

[@radzbites]

@@RR-et6zp I'm gonna assume you're an internet troll by your answer 1 & 2 so gonna ignore your comment

[@silvanaaad]

Oh my god of how sweet and patient she is ❤️

[@Gigithewlis]

I may be wrong but it feels like he is with her only because she looks well. He always emphasises the fact that she is "a young wife". It looks like a major 🚩 because she won't be young forever.

[@RR-et6zp]

Yeah men date women for replication, women date men for survival , ie money etc

[@hellokitty4827]

Gary always been like this with her...I don't understand how you people say he changed.He always been very strict with his opinions and towards Valeria.i might be wrong but is something she accepted and liked about him from the beginning,maybe now she grew mentally and the difference between them isn't that big now and she stands up for her opinions and this is where you guys see a difference.

[@runpaintsing]

I’m so glad that he’s gonna have to read these comments. He’s been like this their whole marriage I’m sure. It’s probably much better now that’s she’s made it big, but stilllllll he treats her this way…insane

[@carlaabreu1690]

Please! You have to have your own bank account!! My mother has 85 and she always had her own bank account! He been offended is a red flag! That’s a trap don’t be fooled…

[@EmilijaGu]

Maybe she has 😁 Just doesnt want to tell him 😏

[@lifestylewithmommynelly]

This was awkward I love her so much I wish Gary would show more honor when it comes to his amazing wife I’m so sorry

[@aikoyumiko7961]

Right? Especially on her channel. I feel like he was putting her down for expressing her thoughts with her viewers.

[@fattts9510]

@@aikoyumiko7961 Yeah, they really not on the same wavelength.

[@valeflands]

How sad Gary talking to Valeria like that. She is so sweet, it seems like he doesnt want her to have her own voice yet loving her 🙁

[@sharonjoan9997]

Gary says he doesn’t operate in the details yet he cuts her off every other sentence to correct the details of her thoughts. Wooo this was hard to listen to

[@Ang-n9p]

5:30 goodness gracious. “They blame the husbands in the end, so what’s the difference?” It’s like he’s TRYING to be self destructive, and take her down with him.

[@RR-et6zp]

No. They do blame husbands and men on everything because they hate self accountability lol

[@icantwiththis]

☝️☝️Gary's second phone LOL! 😂☝️

[@thedoglover8079]

Gary tells you what YOU think and what YOU would say. That would drive me crazy. Why is he so arrogant? What is he afraid of? Why does he want you to feel dumb and like you can't think or speak for YOURSELF?

[@sharonjoan9997]

Because she’s growing up. If he was her dad, and he literally could be, he’d be watching her stages of development and the ultimate separation of parent child. We are not the same at 40 as we were at 20. He’s afraid she might outgrow him.

[@seemaliftikhar3812]

I feel sorry for Valeria for tolerating this man, he is such a stereotypical grandfather.

[@maramb7767]

They should separate business from their relationship. He seems threatened by her or maybe just in a bad mood

[@Sun_flow_]

First-time listener. I had to stop listening . That man is something else. May the Lord be with you and your kids! He is rude, disruptive, etc. You are better than that , beautiful.

[@DalidaD]

I am smelling a divorce in the not so distant future. :-(

[@annywind7609]

My prediction is that divorce is around the corner. Give it a year or two. And I used to like Gary.

[@CF.]

I don’t want them to get divorced. Noooo!!!!! 😭

[@tori5468]

Good for her 😊 he’s too old for her , in 10 years he will be in his 60🤣 she needs a man her age

[@winterqueen6095]

I really hope. She needs to get out for her own good. She has done way too much for him but only got dragged down in exchange. And as I see it is getting worse and worse, the more confident and empowered Valeria becomes. Im really rooting for her, she deserves to be free from this kind of behavior.

[@pinagrrrr2280]

33:22 Girl he was controlling you. He still is. He doesn’t let you speak your mind or to have a different view here so far. I will quit watching this soon

[@daisiesandchaos]

i hope she leaves him.... he talks to her like he talks to their children. why would he tell a grown woman how to say something? so weird

[@followingmi2375]

unfortunately, I stopped the episode at 7:00

[@leticiabarajas9245]

I stopped at 2:05 😅

[@sylv22]

It's funny how Gary got triggered when Valeria said, 'when I start to make money.' It felt like he was trying to put himself on the same level in their money-making journey. But let’s be real-Valeria’s huge on KZbin with her millions of subscribers. Even if Gary is helping run the business behind the scenes, that role could be filled by any professional with the right skills. Without Valeria, he wouldn’t even have a business to run. So, to me, it came off a bit insecure, trying to claim a 50/50 contribution by constantly saying 'our money,' 'our kids,' 'our everything.' He also keeps bringing up how when they first got married, she was using his money-which he didn’t mind at all-but it's not like the money she’s making now is even close to that. Sharing your money with her back then isn’t really on the same level as what she’s sharing with him now.

[@Roseyposeyess]

Valeria, I will continue watching and supporting YOU.. but why do your supporters have to be subjected to Gary's patronizing communication style?

[@4514Mars]

My thoughts exactly ❤

[@RR-et6zp]

No it’s just that us guys communicate directly. You prioritize how things are conveyed

[@hellol4045]

why is Gary not letting valeria OWN her success and share? It's seems like he tries to keep her on a leash and maintain control by trying to correct her to lower her self-esteem so that she constantly doubts herself and remains in a position to need him. It seems that she is walking on an egg shells with him. Also did he just say "women go into marriage wandering how much they would get if divorce happens?" when infact he is the one who brought up the topic of prenup to valeria before the marriage so clearly he was the one calculating how much he would get if divorce happens while accusing women in this podcast.

[@RR-et6zp]

1. Men care about facts and correctness 2. Men don’t care about career and all that 3. He’s right

[@kateshen6180]

Omg, how can a man be so easily offended 😂 I felt every five minutes he’s offended.

[@icantwiththis]

Fragile ego

[@OlgaSunny-pl2sg]

I really like this couple please Gary read the comments you are a nice guy but not sure why become defensive. You don’t talk to your CEO that way I saw the interview and agree with Valeria. Treat her good she is the only jewel you got cherish her before it is too late. All the best to you keep your marriage by showing respect and it will go a long way.

[@sharonjoan9997]

I wish they would go to counseling. It is needed. She may wake up one day and I don’t want lessons anymore

[@RR-et6zp]

Dude he’s rare, wake up. Men prefer to communicate directly

[@beatrizcolaco7237]

Valeria is such an intelligent , ambitious women and it's sad that she has a partner that doesn't respect her, continuously interrupts her and wants to monopolize the whole conversation, only to say bullshit. Also clearly doesn't admire her and accept she is the one making more money in the relationship

[@yessenia2440]

In Jakey’s interview, he said he liked Valeria’s side of the family more than Gary’s family, calling them serious and such. I wonder how much of Gary’s upbringing has an influence on his assertiveness and stern behavior (to put it lightly) and general way of speaking throughout this episode.

[@BeSchmenda]

37:53 holy smokes. Bruh you are both contributing to a shared financial goal AND she can be credited for the successful objectives/achievements she implemented. Both statements can be true. Sometimes support is taking a step back and letting the other person have the spotlight...

[@Roseyposeyess]

I'm 5 minutes in, and it's hard to watch.. Why does Gary sound like that?

[@jenniferurbanic]

he is defensive, must be from the previous times everyone commented on his mansplaning and attitude.

[@fattts9510]

@@jenniferurbanic honestly, it is so obnoxious.

[@DianaTrieu-t4t]

Feel like this “our” business from Gary triggers him because he feels that those claims of V’s independence is a threat to him and it leaves room for V to leave him and not need him.

[@uzrugile]

I don't think Gary is coming from a bad place, he definitely wants the best for her. Does it sometimes feel like he's talking down to her, like teaching a child? Yes. But let's not forget that it's their personal relationship. They've been together for many years, and we only get brief moments to listen and judge, so let's not assume we know better than Valeria.

[@yoyoyazzy]

I think what Gary is trying to say which is actually lovely, is that he never cared what Valeria did for work, he was happy to take care of her anyway. If she wanted to work it actually made him feel guilty because he obviously values providing for his wife. And Valeria is right it can make you feel stronger in the relationship when you work

[@victorialander5615]

I think caring about your partners aspirations is showing love. Otherwise it sounds like you just want a generic wife to provide for and have children with

[@legkoln]

Gary is so arrogant. That conversation was full of ‘mansplaining’. Why do men think their experience is more valuable than ours?

[@dolchoe]

For the love of God, Gary, please stop being in defense all the time 😩 Let Valeria speak on her experience and you just listen. When you speak, she listens with her whole attention, not to respond but TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!! This is not a comment on their marriage, but a small observation on a snippet of their conversation 😊

[@PollyGuacamole]

I was 10 minutes into listening to your podcast on Spotify and I just couldn’t do this anymore. Turns out I’m not alone. It’s unbearable to listen to because of Gary’s continuous pseudo intelligent snarky remarks. I don’t think he let Valeria finish a single sentence without “correcting” her. Valeria fended off the comments with awkward laughter, just to somehow finish her thought. Typical mansplainer. I hope they both reflect on their relationship dynamic.

[@MarRie-fp4tb]

Feels like Gary doesn't want Valeria to say she made "her" money because he'd have to admit how powerful she is and how good she is at generating revenue. I feel like that threatens him. It shouldn't. It should just make him feel insanely proud of his wife.

[@hallucinogen22]

I really appreciate how precise Gary is with the choice of words and phrases you use with each other. it really does make such a world of difference in how something is conveyed when one way of saying something has this tsunami of emotionality behind it and it happens in a split second and over time those things really build on top of each other and deteriorates relationships of ALL kinds! God bless you both

[@a.p.1438]

Gary acts like an English teacher when speaking with Valeria. He is constantly correcting her grammar. In the meantime, he married an immigrant! Don’t worry, Gary has already fronted this whole conversation with Valeria! She is smart but married an older man who has already molded her mind. Remember she did not have a proper father figure growing up. Gary is just that.

[@darrenwanamaker3326]

I can see how Valeria is being very patient 🥰

[@miamoose9528]

Gary, please get therapy. Perhaps address how you're feeling of lesser value as the marriage lasts longer and your wife is growing into a mature woman and out of the girl you once married. And perhaps reflect on how you're trying to fix this growing void you feel inside. Right now it seems like the only solution you see is bringing her down, to recover your own sense of value within your relationship. That will turn on you in the long run, wether you two share children or not.

[@RR-et6zp]

1. Men don’t care about Career , money etc 2. He, like other women, prefer to communicate directly

[@sharonjoan9997]

Gary is a tragic figure. As it stands, Valeria is the wise one of the two. He’s built his ego on his stature and age- he is not enlightened into what a woman actually wants: careful consideration. Gentle treatment. Deep acceptance. Kindness with compassion. These are what make a woman feel safe. Therefore loved. Gary is very very far from this.

[@ElviraChorna-xk2kl]

So so great to hear your story. I found many points that are the same in my love story with my husband as we are also from the Slavic background and having a 14-year old gap. I feel that everything you mentioned was like what I've recently came through and still coming through as we are only 2.5 years together. Thank you a lot for your work you put in!

[@JelenaDimitrijevic2711]

She is so much more then him and her best is yet to come. It’s sad but I feel like they’ve be done soon..

[@RR-et6zp]

It’s the opposite

[@yasminogbu8929]

No way are they together 💀😱!! Unbelievable- she’s a literal super model

[@neverregret7054]

She was a model

[@Sof-g]

I couldn't finish the episode, it's minute 16 and I can't stand the constant interruption.. i find it disrespectful

[@sharonjoan9997]

I haven’t corrected my 3 kids this much in two years Love is patient.