Victim Mentality (And its Terrible Twin)

[@charlottephokompe901]

I lived most of my life in anti-victim mentality mentality and I know the pain of being afraid of your emotions and acting all strong as that you have everything under control. I'm glad I'm over that. ❤❤

[@TheDiamondNet]

I was very deep into it too. It adds so much pressure to everything.

[@brah04X]

Omg, this hits home deeply! Growing up with a mother stuck in a victim mindset, I developed the anti-mentality where I simply shut down any weaknesses I had while feeling sick to my stomach when others showed certain insecurities, and especially victim mentalities. My experience had been that my mother played with my sympathy in order to control me, so eventually I refused to let anyone's feelings control me again. Many years later, my mental health severely deteriorated and I started doubting myself immensely. My lack of self-doubt had been the key to never being vulnerable, so now I ended up in a situation where I painfully had to realize over the coming years that I was in a victim mindset, while projecting this issue onto others (they were in that mindstate for sure, but my intense anger over such people just screamed "projections!!"). Having to accept that I had become "one of those" caused me immense shame, as you said in this video, and that kept me back for so long. Through all of this crazyness, I have started to learn the value of my feelings, have begun to achieve healthy levels of self-love and -respect, and I'm now ready to leave all this behind and become the leader figure again that I've always been meant to be, but this time with an increasingly open heart. With that said, I can still feel quite stern with certain people who I consider to be chronic victims - mainly those who endlessly blame life or others for their shortcomings - and struggle to learn how to best deal with them. The trend I'm seeing, though, is that the more I accept myself - the more I can accept others and where they're at. Amazing video, thank you for this explanation! First time I've seen someone bring up the anti-mentality that has been such a huge part of my life

[@blake975]

This reminds me of a concept called the Victim Triangle. There are 3 roles: victim, victimizer, rescuer. As long as a person plays any of these roles, they are continuing the cycle. Of course there are exceptions where someone isn't safe and needs to be rescued. But in other cases, even "rescuing" someone is contributing to the problem.

[@TheDiamondNet]

Yes… there’s a strong relationship to the Victim Triangle and these patterns.

[@TheDionysianFields]

This channel is amazing for presenting valuable, relevant content without a political slant. A rare gem indeed.

[@joshuadiliberto1103]

i had an idea for other roles: "know it all" and "playing dumb."

[@naturalinstinct4950]

Rationally assess what is in and out of our control is the place we want to be

[@jboughtin7522]

I wasn’t sure what the “terrible twin” was going to be? That was a very thorough and in-depth overview of what I would think of as a couple common fear based behavioral arch-types. It raises the question in my mind, how could one affect change to that? Lately I’ve been hearing and or reading “be the change you want to see in the world”. Given that a lot of the behavior we adopt is learned by example, I’m inclined to think that would be a good path to take.

[@merlinmakinson4724]

Thank you Just what I needed. Lots of food for thought.

[@franciscoramirezespanagarc7974]

As a child I was made responsible for my parents’ emotions and my father’s drunkenness. At the age of 20 I became my father’s designated driver because he couldn’t control his drinking. As a result, I’m afraid of acknowledging my own power. Can any of your programs / classes help?

[@TheDiamondNet]

I don't have a course that's specifically about power yet. Though I think it warrants one because a lot of people deal with barriers to empowerment... and many for this very same reason. But my general 1-on-1 life-coaching is very client-specific. So, if you're looking for a coach to help you explore this issue more deeply and to work towards unwiring the limiting mindsets and patterns that keep you out of your personal sovereignty, then that could be a good option. If that's something you're interested in, you can email me at [e-mail]

[@Sun.powder]

Omg something in this video was a real a ha moment , it always annoys me when I didn't, think of it myself. Anyway thanks for informing me of something I really hadn't realised .

[@tM-nu7vj]

Hello mam please make a video on people who are villian themselves n now dwell on their past see how much bad they have done in every sphere of life,now cant be undone , so much regret, guilt , embarassment n they hv done nothing right , how do they feel good ? N due to regret there is sense of loss , they shout at people who are weak as they want to control due to fear of losing control. Is there any redemption for them or only repentance , they are not living in present due to constant seeing themselves doing wrong things in past n caress themselves by imagining good future 😢 Regret daydreaming internet addiction has become their daily routine. Not able to function daily tasks. Not doing something for future goals. Just cribbing. Any guidance would b appreciated 🙏

[@pist251]

Any ties between the victim mentality and anxious attachment and anti-victim mentality and dismissive avoidant attachment style?

[@cosmicvibrations7008]

You are a st⭐r!!! Amazing!!!

[@TheDiamondNet]

Fall Enrollment is now closed! If you'd like to get on the waiting list for my membership site, The Consciousness Workers' Club, click the link below... hustling-teacher-2162.ck.page/3f458a6298

[@95TurboSol]

If there were any terms that needed a shortened acronym I think it's these 😄

[@TheDiamondNet]

What ever do you mean? Anti-Victim's Mentality Mentality rolls right off the tongue. :D

[@oraclewyrd2639]

Wow. . . . I'm kinda a jerk.

[@MarinaDarosTrentin]

Can one experience both patterns in their personality?

[@TheDiamondNet]

A person can have elements of both patterns. But they are often unaware that they possess the opposite's qualities.

[@edgreen8140]

​@TheDiamondNet at the extreme the victim mode of vulnerable narcissist. Minimize others pain. Exploit others to help them because tgey can't see life any other way then being the victim. To avoid accountability. Of course I as a clinician am speaking of those who will deny their vulnerability and project their unwanted issues on to others.