We Broke Them Down And Built Them Back Up In Our Tactical Empathy Training!

Get FREE access to The Black Swan Group’s book 5 Negotiation Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People here: bit.ly/3duQVyW
Stop asking questions that get nowhere. Try using Labels & Mirrors, two of the foundational Black Swan negotiation skills. What do they look like in action? Chris and Derek put them to the test during this hands-on example at one of our Tactical Empathy seminars. Check it out!
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About The Black Swan Group
Founded and led by former lead FBI negotiator, Chris Voss, the Black Swan Group has 10+ years of experience working with companies and individuals on taking their negotiation skills to the next level. Chris’ book, Never Split the Difference, is a Wall Street Journal bestseller and has sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Our expert team of coaches discuss everything from silence techniques to influential empathy.
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Thanks for watching!

[@rickharold7884]

It seems like you guys are really great at leveraging these mirroring and labeling techniques

[@cin8-films]

These labeling techniques? hahaha

[@davidhutchison7567]

Very good...

[@bepskekaatje424]

Nice one

[@sofly2455]

@@bepskekaatje424 seems like you enjoyed the video lol

[@bepskekaatje424]

@@sofly2455 enjoyed the video?

[@davidkolinsky3388]

One of the most valuable videos I've ever seen. Why? Because it gave me a picture of HOW to practice these skills every day. I tried that and it is working so well! Thank you very much The Black Swan Group.

[@dawid_dahl]

You seem passionate about practicing these skills every day...

[@BenWeeks]

@@dawid_dahl *said with jedi hand gesture*

[@hqaffairs8576]

YEAH IT WAS REALLY EYE OPENING HOW EASILY CONVERSATION CAN FLOW.

[@jackson1641]

in some places if u ask them and they don’t want to give any attention on your questions,how do you cope with

[@MoritzvPoser]

one of the most valuable videos?

[@lramsden]

Seems like the most challenging part for those who participated is listening, and responding under pressure

[@graffist448]

It helps to be very clear about what the intention is behind these techniques. Once the intention is clarified the techniques become a lot more natural and easy to use. To me, the intention behind these techniques is to deeply understand what the other person thinks and feels, and to draw out as much information as possible. Learning to comfortably sit inside that intention, or learning to make that intention real to you, is where the power and creativity comes in. I've seen this while selling. Once I shifted my intention from "executing the techniques" to "deeply understanding in order to do what is in the client's best interest", my techniques were given "life" and the impact was 100X

[@jz5005]

To Understand and to develop rapport…

[@NegotiationMastery]

EXACTLY!!!

[@moncorp1]

Use labels based on the person you're talking to. If the person is animated when they talk, you'd say, "Looks like...." if they are very still, possibly even talking in a quiet voice, you'd say, " Sounds like....."

[@alexandrebeaudry8377]

Great advice! Thanks

[@siyabongakhumalo4492]

If the person is analytical "seems like"

[@GenericHandle01]

It seems like you are familiar with the finer points of labels.

[@MoritzvPoser]

It sounds like you are an trainer yourself?

[@mrkalenda4911]

@@MoritzvPoser do not ask questions just label and mirror lol

[@robertsullivan9232]

I love how the guy wanted to know what Shirley was and the speaker corrected him and yet he was still able to get what he wanted just by using a technique

[@MoritzvPoser]

It seems like you see a powerful practical value in this technique or is it rather the charismatic trainer who makes it work?

[@robertsullivan9232]

Came back to this a year later, stuff is life changing

[@wl1495]

@@robertsullivan9232 wow, life changing

[@tomjeff1743]

I label during pretty much every conversation I have. It's amazing what people are willing to reveal and talk about when they hear a label.

[@haroldi.6450]

I been using this my entire life without even knowing it.... now i know why even my friends dont know much about me

[@JKFCUMLANDDOWNUNDER]

hahahaha i feel youuu

[@YanraOnesja]

love the profile pic.. do you really use IE?? haha

[@Uzodesign]

Change that profile pic. Lol, never mind I get it. Explore away.

[@ruthkaggwa8890]

The two What Questions are really the key to the floodgates. Then dance along with labels and mirrors and enjoy a great conversion with anyone! Great content!

[@jestephens]

Thanks for this demo. I'm struggling, and was encouraged to see others working through the same obstacles I am ;) The guy thinking to turn question into label while in the spot light - I FELT THAT. 💙

[@MoritzvPoser]

You feel that?

[@burburchacha]

Practice makes perfect

[@NegotiationMastery]

Perfect practice makes perfect

[@Aspectus]

I learned something and I was touched deeply by what Derek said.

[@ultiumlabs4899]

I watched the video 2x to understand, it's valuable. thanks.

[@ericksanga5697]

after reading Never split a difference by Chris Voss this videos are like taking exercising to get a muscle great video by the way

[@wl1495]

Great point, sounds like you've been practicing?

[@RaySchwarz.]

Great video. Please show more demonstrations of the different techniques mentioned in the book.

[@ricardo.souza76]

it looks like great content that can help a lot of people. From introverts to business people, you guys inspire and teach them all.

[@anupamajois4610]

It looks like you said a label (it looks like)

[@1234Conrad1234]

Great tools for helping teachers work with parents and students.

[@MoritzvPoser]

With parents and students?

[@TTrAAsTT]

It seems like you learned something from this?

[@meroe365]

Great workshop exercises! Thanks for sharing!

[@avimah274]

The guys in your team are pretty great.. full of confident giving the feeling of professionalism. Thank you for the value. I read your book as well but those videos just put reminders in my head way better.

[@bubba0701]

Awesome material,testosterone filled demonstration. Great supplement to the book. It ties a lot together

[@KyleMart]

It ties a lot together? See what I did there. :D

[@Uzodesign]

@@KyleMart Seems like you think you've got it all figured out huh? 😂 See what I did there?

[@gfraser1000]

Really valuable info you can put to use straight away, loved this!

[@marksclairesalestrainingmo2434]

I think it was important for Derek to explain how being asked those questions made him feel. The people doing the labelling and mirroring did a great job BUT I would like to understand more about how L&M helped to move Derek down the line of the Sale.

[@RobertHoffmann]

Thanks for the demo, i knew about mirrors, but labels was new :-)

[@j.i.s.l178]

...

[@enigma-yu4jo]

It sounds like after watching this video this skill would have a tremendous amount of value in people’s lives if only they were aware

[@notanotherusername]

I have come across a new realization lately. I can get so invested in trying to let the other side be heard that it ends up mentally draining me. How do you balance a conversation so it's not all about the other person? I feel like it's great for the other person for you to act so interested in what they have to say. But if they never ask you any questions and return, it feels very one-sided.

[@theresawolford9000]

This is for negotiations, not lifelong friendship. Therefore, it's used to make a deal like in hostage situations. I guess you could use it in selling too .... which is still making a deal, not really friendship.

[@JamesYeang]

Wow. This is amazing listening skills

[@creadorescompulsivos4370]

Thank youvery much Chris, Brandon and Derek...

[@tmclbnk]

Thanks for sharing the exercise of mirrors and labels. Then following up with what you can learn about others!

[@aikidoduke]

This is an amazing video. Please keep content similar to this coming.

[@cestunebelle7121]

I've tried it in my kid: Mirror and labels. And it did make her engage more in talking. Just yes or no, repeat the mirror or slight broader responses but nothing more expansive. I suppose I need more practice but also does not work on private people, or people that aren't naturally very talkative and sharing. My kid is like not mean or defensive. Happy, and private kid that thinks no further.

[@almmason7]

My children and husband are similar but if you use the different techniques some stick and some don't but I think with practice we'll see more success. Try asking the 2 what questions first then label and mirror or mirror then label...😊

[@emmanuelsebua1445]

Wow. Great skill I should put this into practice. I'm now reading Never Split The Difference.

[@emmanuelsebua1445]

Greg I was referring to the use of labels and mirrors my daily life as practice. Brushing up for when I really need it.

[@coachetch3416]

Your ‘ShP!T’ is AWESOME!!!... Thank You ALL (Derek, Brandon & Chris) for it!!!...

[@branwerks6978]

I've made this comment on a different video, but use these techniques in your next CL, marketplace, etc negotiation. They work. Also another great technique from the book is, if you really have to give a number first, use a range, not a hard number.

[@wyldcat3865]

My MBA program uses this as part of the curriculum.

[@dreamfury2351]

Just using labels and mirrors, when he was done... I was almost crying.

[@nicktrevi2990]

This is pure gold Derek ❤ and Chris. Thank you!

[@NegotiationMastery]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@HamzReviews]

It seems like the black swan group is very passionate about helping others use labels.

[@NegotiationMastery]

Labels are just one of the many skills and techniques that we use in the Black Swan Method. There are also different types of Labels as well. If you are interested in finding how these skills can elevate your communication skills check out our catalog! Thanks for watching!

[@mustavogaia2655]

Labels and mirrors? It souds very important to you that we undestand how to connect to people

[@dwimarsudi2495]

It seems like, you got the core message

[@johnv.585]

Core message?

[@brianbrown366]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ausinchimbi]

Great class

[@karengates925]

Invaluable lesson...thank you.

[@cin8-films]

It seems like I need to look at more of these videos.

[@omgbence676]

More of these videos?

[@roccofreeman5111]

It seems important to you

[@OGYemali.]

10 years in 7 days challenge lesgo 😤

[@SOSM209]

It seems like, it sounds like l, it feels like. It seems like your a very Impactful individual. It sounds like you really care about.. It feels like you really know how to support them that are down trodden…

[@ronfya]

Hey Chris, would you find it annoying to answer a few precisions on labels ? 1. I thought a label needed to target an emotion your counterpart might feel. However in this video, many labels (including Brandon's) relate to facts, not feelings. What's up here? 2. Does that mean a label is simply any question STARTING with "it feels/sounds/look like ... " and related to something your CP just said ? 3. If I were the CP and somebody would ask me plenty of questions starting the exact same way, I would say to myself two things : "is he so illiterate he can only use the same phrasing over and over to ask his questions?" and "when does this endless series of irrelevant questions to me will end ?" --> how can we avoid a CP to feel like I would ? Thank you so much for the great content you upload for us ! Cheers.

[@ArtKrishnamurti]

It sounds like you've noticed this style of communication is highly contrived! Seriously... good questions!

[@PendidikanGratis]

Hey, we share the same questions. I personally like to use label to drive emotions (happy, proud, sad, guilt, angry etc). I think its useless for facts (??). And i actually did mirroring and labelling so many time at a conversation and got worried if my cp thinks i was mocking him. But i did it so naturally that he didn't notice lol

[@ronfya]

FreeEducation I share the same feeling as you when using labels too much : fear of being called on using the same phrasing over and over ... and that my CP feels I'm mocking him.

[@lewskaanen812]

1. It can be either, analyzing an emotion, or mining for more information. 2. Yes, exactly. 3. You switch up between mirrors and labels, using a very deferential nurturing tone, and you reall really REALLY listen listen listen. When you nail it they say "that's right." I'm a debt collector. I get people screaming at me, telling me I'm going to hell. A few minutes later they're giving me their payment info.

[@ronfya]

​@@lewskaanen812 Thanks for chiming in. On #1 and #2, would you agree then to say that if you use a label to analyze an emotion, it mostly helps the CP (to feel understood and open more). And if you use a label to mine for more info, it mostly helps you (to understand the CP's values). I asked question #3 because I always encounter this problem with the same type of people. Those who are trying to get a deal in a hurry, who have plenty of choice of partners to pick from and who are generally assertive (as Chris defines it in his book). Those people won't take many questions from someone to figure them out. Only a few minutes in the conversation they'll just say : "Look, I don't have time to chat. Do you want to work with me or not ? Or I'll just call somebody else." ... and walk away. Grabbing their attention in less than 10 seconds is often near impossible because it's mostly business based, not emotionally based, and if you don't have a clear competitive advantage in your value proposition, you're screwed even before starting. But you only discover it when you meet them and see they're assertive. At that point, it's already too late.

[@foreverraining1522]

Awesome! I gotta sign up for one of these!!!

[@blacktortoise6812]

I can get behind the cohort spirit thing and the reps. Good social influences seem to be a thing here.

[@alexanderrocha8664]

Excellent video Chris.

[@rsunghun]

it sounds like labels and mirrors techniques are easy and effective skill that everybody can enjoy.

[@NegotiationMastery]

Absolutely!

[@marksummers463]

BTW: If you're in business, I STRONGLY recommend reading a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook - a LOT of eye-popping, non-obvious stuff! Can't recommend it highly enough!

[@SevenAnomone224]

Thanks for sharing this video.

[@albongo3949]

Passion-reason--mirroring

[@marksummers463]

Your son sounds EXACTLY like you!

[@jz5005]

It Seems it Sounds aside…. Shirley brought fuking tears to my eyes. I think for me the takeaway is, while it’s good to be mindful of the techniques, it’s even more important to approach our relationships with a genuine open heart, looking for a win win.

[@Mexicotravelltd.]

thanks for sharing this part because its a practical example

[@benitesw321]

Good stuff right here

[@marcospizarro7890]

Yo that one guy that took over as the negotiator 4minnutes in sounded just Voss in his word choice

[@HarrisFirst]

He works with Chris Voss and his son. They teach this together.

[@lewskaanen812]

Word choice is the whole point of what they're trying to teach. If you phrase your "questions" as mirrors and labels instead, you get TONS more information out of the other person. It makes them want to tell you their life story pretty much.

[@lewskaanen812]

@Greg Brown Yes, you see, when I was eight, I really wanted that bicycle for Christmas... (Omg, did you just do it to me?)

[@blacktortoise6812]

They're basically like "good, someone is finally letting me talk goddamnit"

[@calebcarr7808]

I can’t believe this content is free.

[@DesertLyons22]

Mr Voss; YT took down your audiobook DSTD yesterday. I my opinion you have more to gain by sharing your book for free!! 1-you can gain more audience 2 build a great loyal customer base 3 sales of said book will exponentially increase 4 your mission and valuable experience will Scale info communities There’s a specific way to “give for free “ and gain market satisfaction. How can you do this?

[@Uzodesign]

Please cut the bs. You seem like the kind of person that will try to squeeze free work out of people telling them it will help with their publicly. The book is not expensive. Why should he give it away for free? He's a business man and you're getting this KZbin video here for free aren't you?

[@bigscott175]

This is Amazing

[@mrkalenda4911]

That was golden

[@KBonilla]

It looks like I’m using the technique very well.

[@Inner-gains]

Greetings Chris, my names Ian and I live in the UK i love your book "never split the difference" Would it be a silly idea of me to personally ask, how does one become a black swan. Thank you

[@MelaninMonarchy]

Great question Ian.

[@HatovimLeTayis]

Hello Ian, I highly recommend you Nassim Nicolas Taleb's Black Swan. On a personal note: strive to be the linchpin in whatever field you're active.

[@183Rth]

can't use his own tricks against him LOL)))

[@EktaShah82]

Martijn M great book. I have it.

[@royjonesrampage6684]

personally ask?

[@camarageita8115]

Gold!

[@NegotiationMastery]

Thank you!!

[@sirhamalot8651]

idk...is the walking around the room putting their hands in their inside pocket looking like mafia part of the technique? Chris puts me at ease. Brandon and Derek make me nervous.

[@truth8887]

It seems that mirroring meant to extract more information from our counterpart and labeling is a way to get clear understanding about our counterpart desire until he or she prove it with "that's right". Am I correct Chris?

[@NegotiationMastery]

You're on the right track!

[@b.a9891]

Wow .. that’s very powerful

[@sduncanfoto]

This is great, the audience didn't seem to understand they were to state if the statement was a label or a mirror.

[@Cluby2]

The audience wasn’t supposed to state if it was a label or a mirror, he was telling them “respond to me with a label or a mirror”. It was confusing for sure and I would have been like a deer in headlights until i caught on. he should actually change the way he does that.

[@okamiplayer1263]

Thank you awesome😊😁😊

[@egoboy]

This is excellent!

[@LifesCodes]

I'm curious, is Shirley doing well today? I mean, did her situation improved?

[@sofly2455]

Did her situation improve!?

[@sofly2455]

@@LifesCodes facts thas wassup 💪🏾

[@hassanijaz8484]

@@sofly2455 Label: It looks like maybe Shirley would have grown into quite a disillusioned adult had she not received your help.

[@justinpeterson3686]

@@sofly2455 I see what you did!

[@brightmorningstar1258]

It's seems like you really helped Shirley improve her situation and achieve a better future...

[@nkanyisoshelembe7587]

Mmmm! Boy o' boy I'm going to make so many business deals

[@faraz007]

This is so helpful.

[@samp.a.3445]

Amazing demonstration

[@longliu2643]

Thank you so much for making this video. I have read your book and have learned a lot from it. This is a great practical way to help you understand the effects of using labels and mirrors. It puts a lot of what you learned into perspective. It seems the usage of labels and mirrors is deployed after asking a calibrated question to get things started. You would then peel your counterpart like an onion, layer after layer. But let's suppose your counterpart isn't very articulate, isn't comfortable with talking about themselves, or just don't know themselves very well. At some point during the conversation, they put up a wall and start giving you very short answers. How would you know if it is the right time to transition to calibrated questions or to keep using labels and mirrors?

[@GroundUpProduct00]

Great skills and definitely implement it this in my conversions..:. Actually they are AMAZING skill.. That being said . The demo conversation they had sounded a bit ridiculous after about the third label. If youre constantly “labeling “ and “mirroring” in a conversation the person is going to realize that you’re just repeating yourself and that are basically following a formula. So don’t be that one that one lol

[@CFinch360]

Actually they don't realize if you do it skillfully, they just think you are listening closely and paying attention. People LOVE to talk about themselves.

[@wl1495]

@@CFinch360 You are right about doing it skillfully. I've picked up on it before, maybe because I have learnt the skill myself and so I easily notice it when somebody else is attempting to use it on me. Moderation like everything else

[@183Rth]

Damn! I just realize that at ANY moment when dude stopped his exposition and said to someone - "label or mirror", and i had to answer - I wouldn't know what to say...

[@davidhutchison7567]

You have to listen and think about the formulation of the label, as the conversation is ongoing. The mirror is just listening to an unfinished idea, that is holding more information you can engineer. But the point is you are social engineering, so the more important thing is WHY

[@davidhutchison7567]

Another good way to get practice on this is to listen to other people talking...at a restaurant, in the grocery store or in some social settings and practice your labels and mirroring in your head.... It really doesn't take very long.

[@Cluby2]

Yes, at first I didn’t quite understand either. It sounded like he was asking them to tell him if what he said was a label or mirror. Poor guy who asked about Shirley.

[@blacktortoise6812]

To mirror them you have to be actually listening.

[@Uzodesign]

That's why you have to practice active listening.

[@cody7657]

This was a great lesson training

[@Yoo-hooPapi]

How do you get the late night DJ voice to work? When I try to use a deeper, lower voice, my voice naturally wants to be that joyful encouraging higher pitched voice. So when I try to correct that and use a downward deflecting voice, it sounds like I’m Bane from Batman scolding someone. I’ve tried it hundreds of times now

[@MOON-zo3ik]

This man said respect your mother

[@blacktortoise6812]

Respect your mother?

[@renatowg10]

Very good!!

[@LordHollow]

This was amazing.

[@hatem0]

Great

[@johnv.585]

Virtual Gold here.

[@OliverMortgageBroker]

Gold 💰

[@maribethcondrillon1079]

Hello guys im here now l lesten to you now

[@NQES777]

Sounds like you were a savior in Shirley's early life

[@shamariemcdonald]

Im having issue’s differentiating between , “Labeling” and an “Accusation audit” May I please have help with this?

[@itsbman01]

The tone Brandon uses for his labels and mirrors doesn’t sound natural to his tone. It would make me disconnect from the conversation personally but this was helpful

[@DJRAJEE]

Interesting

[@Mohdkh29]

this looks like police integrator training, how exactly could you apply this in business?

[@chillinphoenix-e5d]

Yes... I had read that book and tried advices. :D "Mirroring" makes you look dumb because people love smart people who understand a lot from a single word, instead of the ones who demand explanation constantly... even ask questions constantly. "Labelling" disturbs people who doesnt want to share their feelings and who doesnt want their feelings to be revealed. In such case, they will help you to understand that whatever they feel is not your concern. Creating "empathy" is the game of politicians and smart people dont buy it anymore. People can act weird in stressful, life-and-death situations but that doesnt mean all people act in same way in every situation. Peace!

[@oluwoleodetola1626]

He wrote this in his book

[@NathanFales]

Where did you get the 63 repetitions to become a skill?

[@noypi613]

what is a counter to labeling and mirroring?

[@uncle_martin1131]

Guys do they have a book about this stuff? Maybe translated in Italian (o in English)? Would love to learn this, I have a book about negotiation written by Igor Ryzov talking about the Russian way to do negotiations, nice book. But I want more, and I liked what they did here.

[@matthewpalmer7346]

“Never Split the Difference”

[@kamara6392]

Effective pauses

[@MrBHallion]

Labeling and mirrors? Sounds like I have stumbled upon the right part of the KZbin 😂

[@chrismitrecic8879]

How does this work when your opponent doesn't add to the negotiation? The labeling and mirror technique seems to make a long conversation, but is not necessarily a negotiating skill. I would love to speak with this group to figure out how they deal with people that don't "take the bait".

[@NegotiationMastery]

Label their reluctance. Remember you are looking for the Black Swans. The meaning behind the words not the stuff on the surface. Go Deeper.

[@tbinyt]

how different would the experience and/or effectiveness be in different cultures?

[@jissmongeorge3965]

Amazing

[@WillyWanka]

I cant wait to try this shit out on someone