We made the most violent NHL team of all time | Fumble Dimension

Kofie and Jon are back to make a hockey team that just wants to hit people. How will the team do? Follow Secret Base on Twitch to watch Fumble Dimension made live! / secretbasesbn
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[@KofieWhy]

NEW FUMBLE DIMENSION LET'S GO!

[@teen_laqueefa]

Love you all

[@janb7361]

I'm so freaking fumblepilled rn

[@Pecker010]

Thank you for putting yourself through EA game breaking for the content.

[@doctorvladandhisbluejaysd2802]

ur nails look nice af kofi :)

[@TehGamesaver]

Jon Bois, the man who brought down Radio Shack.

[@theenglishman]

“They’re out of business and I’m not” is the most vicious burn Jon has ever delivered.

[@thenumberquelve158]

I hear Jon Bois talk about that, and all I'm thinking is "Careful. He's a hero."

[@albertmotbey1128]

New Secret Base shirt?

[@IkeOkerekeNews]

Tai Lopez wants to know your location.

[@hamsand2527]

i saw a radio shack the other day

[@SpicyMapping]

that has nothing on “he’s written an essay about a calendar and confused it for the greatest moment of his life”

[@timoteoooo]

Jon single-handedly drove radio shack out of business and nothing can convince me otherwise

[@mcgrewgs]

Jon has given me more joy than Radio Shack ever could

[@Amadeus451]

My brain knows irl this team would be trash, but my heart knows they'd have the craziest, most-loyal fanbase too.

[@tthaas]

Put 'em in Oakland, let the displaced Raiders fans learn to love hockey...

[@erichansen2999]

They'd be loyal cause they wouldn't really care about the score so much as the brutal hits.

[@SuperNuclearUnicorn]

@@tthaas you'd have fat dudes wearing face paint and no shirts and people chanting MVP after the guy with 3 goals gets a 4th and people breaking the glass from slamming it so hard whenever someone gets hit up against the boards

[@foppy80]

Hockey's Iowa Hawkeyes

[@Amadeus451]

@@SuperNuclearUnicorn this would be a negative how?

[@KeegoTheWise]

you can tell this game is truly broken because it has the Flyers making the finals

[@KZ1993]

I'm mad at how right you are. Take this Flyers fan's like.

[@Kay_Sea251]

@@KZ1993 pain...

[@Quanze]

To be fair, they did get swept which is pretty on brand.

[@mr.padgettt]

@@Quanze Losing a finals appearance is very on brand.

[@Kay_Sea251]

@@Quanze ... more pain...

[@badger6728]

“Midway through the season, we catch a fan drinking nachos in the stands” >refuses to elaborate

[@michaelh9656]

Here's my foolproof NHL OT plan. First 5-min period is 4-on-4, then a 3-on-3 period, then 2-on-2; then the goalies are given a pile of pucks and take turns trying to score 180-foot goals off of each other. Who *wouldn't* wanna see that

[@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift]

thats what they kinda did in The Soccer Tournament recently. except the mutiple pucks part of it

[@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift]

from wiki "Matches are played on a reduced-size field with slightly smaller goals than normal and consist of 20-minute halves. The Elam Ending, arguably TBT's most iconic feature, has been adapted to a soccer setting; after the end of the second half, the remainder of the match consists of "Target Score Time", with the target score being set by adding one goal to the leading (or tied) team's score, i.e. if a game is standing at 3-1 after full time, the target score will be set to 4. The game ends once the target score is reached by either team. If the target is not reached after 5 minutes, one outfield player from each team exits the field until only one is left, with the process continuing every 5 minutes until the winning goal is scored."

[@thomasstone3480]

eventually no players remain and officials just put in enough pucks to allow brownian motion to create scoring

[@jonah3936]

most fumble dimension teams/players are haunted by an evil demon who wants to prevent them from winning at any cost. this team just had a few friendly ghosts that liked to pitch in during the overtime period.

[@RichardSlapz]

Jon just kinda being at RadioShack is my favorite genre of story, retail workers like 10-20 years ago

[@DJ4x]

Hey Billy, what was your favorite part of the episode? "I liked when they talked about Jon working at Radio Shack for a loooong time."

[@rhphoenix5]

Haven't felt this way since arin called lasagna Mac and cheese

[@stumac1998]

Jon's radio shack stories are always the finest of content

[@djgk53]

Wow. Yes.

[@JWex-jy7sk]

“We decided to replace the Arizona Coyotes, because the chat said nobody would notice.” Okay…facts! 🤣

[@alexandrelaforest5838]

Gary Bettman in shambles

[@GuessHowSid]

It’s funny because it’s true.

[@GarkKahn]

That's not true Then how are the teams getting their free wins during regular season?

[@joshbittner]

But who else is gonna be the league’s landfill for bad contracts and the contracts of players who can’t play anymore?

[@weaselwag]

I thought they were the Arizona State Coyotes now?

[@charlesanderson1855]

The fan who drank nachos is the real hero.

[@justincurrie1025]

It's both sad and hilarious that the EA nhl franchise has become too broken for the fumble dimension

[@shukterhousejive]

It's doubly-hilarious when you remember where EA Sports headquarters is located, so much for the hometown advantage

[@Kieran_JSL]

19:43 Was thinking “the cup isn’t that small” and then I remembered they’re all 6’9” giants 😂

[@zg9064_]

In this episode of fumble dimension: Jon and Kofie reconstruct the Broad Street Bullies Secret Base learns why the shootout sucks The EANHL dev team is revealed to be approximately 2 people, a lizard, and a cactus Jon admits to committing a crime The Fumblers fumble their way to the Stanley Cup

[@peterskrobola8753]

This video devolving into Jon’s RadioShack misadventures really makes me happy.

[@posysdogovych2065]

I love when Kofie suddenly bursts out laughing when he sees his silly ideas play out in the game.

[@nave2121]

The most fumble dimension thing about this video is the flyers making it to the stanley cup final

[@braeden4878]

and then proceeds to get swept

[@0oumakun]

The Latest Comment of All Time: my boyfriend works as a QA tester for EA (this is not an oxymoron) and he was screaming thruout the rubberbanding conversation. He, as a QA, constantly kept getting kicked out of his own game. Also he did not take any offense at your gaffs, don't worry. Several of the bugs you mentioned are known about, and as he put it, "when you fix something, it breaks something else," - they're hoping the new release fixes a lot of these. His late-season wins are miraculous. And when he is given a new contract, it's almost-always the Boston Bruins. This has happened multiple times, according to him. I asked him to make a Fumble Dimension recc. His suggestion is for you to recreate your favorite "worst NHL team" and try to get them to make past 5 years.

[@SecretBaseSBN]

aw unfair @kofie secured the "first"

[@extrabfbmm]

hi jon

[@SoftBank47]

We need more hockey in general on Secret Base.

[@thew0rm105]

Fumble dimension holds a special place in my heart. I’m so glad it exists.

[@MikeTheEntei]

Same

[@jnerdsblog]

Kofie and Jon are maybe the best combo on the internet today, seriously.

[@golfaholic666]

I prefer Jon and Alex but yeah Kofie and Jon are up there

[@TheHockeyMane5191]

A flamer and a guy that knows nothing about sports ……uhhh yeahhh sure

[@Bojangus-]

“We decided to replace the Arizona Coyotes because chat said nobody would notice” …well that aged like fine wine lol

[@MANTARD]

Those Fumbler burger sweaters are amazing. I would 100% sport one.

[@gravityvertigo13579]

It sounds like Kofie has not read Jon's AMAZING 2015 SB Nation article about working for Radio Shack, published when they went out of business. As a guy who had to work at Radio Shack for years right before they folded, it really speaks to my heart and my experience

[@Kittyapoc]

13:09 Jon’s radio shack employee experience pops up in an unexpected amount of SB shows

[@Crazy56U]

You now have no excuse to cover bowling. EDIT: 10:57 I love this shot so goddamn much, it looks like the player had gotten so pissed, he was trying to break out of the ring and attack the crowd.

[@AgelessObsession]

Aw man, I was really excited for the "We Drew Outside All The Lines" episode of Fumble Dimension.

[@DPK1255]

It's honestly fitting to beat The Broad Street Bullies in the finals with your modern age Drilling and Grilling, it's a poetic passing of the torch for rough hockey that wins games.

[@SirJoelsuf1]

Jon's experience at Radio Shack was EXACTLY like when I worked there haha. Although I did get a little training. But most of the time I would just hard sell the patrons over helping them find stuff.

[@evanamster946]

Great to see the Danbury Trashers come back to our screens, now just have to hope Kofie and Jon don't get sent to prison for their mob ties

[@WolfDB]

Welcome to the Fumble Dimension equivalent of "Using the wrong formula to get the right answer"

[@seanbrady2232]

It’s great to see all the hockey players we know and love just get absolutely demolished over and over again.

[@dukekong2412]

I think there are two reasons why Kofie's ultra-goon team did so well in the playoffs. - This team would likely have taken out several high-rated players, leaving the opposition with potentially just 3rd- or 4th-liners available. - I don't think the game actually enforces playoff suspensions. As a result, you can have someone literally murder the star player on the other team and still be available to play.

[@brianp3570]

The Overtimers are like if Fallout's Mysterious Stranger showed up but only to watch you, not help in any way

[@codefreak8]

"We decided to replace the Arizona Coyotes because chat said nobody would notice" oof...

[@robp5469]

I’m so glad Joe NHL finally got his ring. When I think of someone who is for the shield through and through I never have to look further than him

[@Nikkerman]

Next hockey vid should be to build a team that has the strategy of scoring an early goal and then playing keep away for the rest of the game, but the twist is all the players are small and injury prone

[@scottmoore4039]

@ 10:50 - The ref phasing through the glass to sit on the scorers' table had me laughing out loud at my desk at work 🤣

[@Thrashman-ye4cf]

The glitches in this game are hilarious. There’s another one where they show a player sitting on the bench, and he’s invisible except his eyeballs. Hilarious seeing a floating helmet with two eyeballs perfectly underneath 😂

[@hulk6785]

I fully expected a whole team of goons to lose a lot and for it to take awhile to break the game. Instead, they won The Stanley Cup, and the game pretty much broke itself immediately. That's the beauty of the Fumble Dimension: you never know what you're gonna get.

[@russellst.martin4255]

Didn't think I could be an even bigger Bois fan but his flexible ethics really inspired me

[@Trainlover2002]

My favorite coloring book page is the "Dave Stieb consecutive no-hitter probability monolith". It is THE monolith of all time.

[@uranium54321]

I saw someone recommend this idea in a comment section a while back on one of the other fumble dimension videos and I remember thinking _omg I hope they do that at some point_ AND YOU DID!!! This (along with about fifty burger other reasons) is what I’d subscribed for, amazing stuff :D

[@jradicals87]

8:41 It's not broken, hockey is just a really wholesome sport where teams congratulate the opposing goalie when they make a great save.

[@AlgernonCSwinburne]

This sounds like something that would happen if someone in the league played NHL Hitz 2002 and tried to apply the same logic to win! Can’t wait to watch this one fully. I’M SORRY, YOU *WHAT?!*

[@wtfaiwpodcast]

Slap Shot is a documentary about how to win hockey games, I guess.

[@toxsyxx]

You guys basically created a modern version of the broad street bullies

[@tenlosol]

Somehow the realest thing of the video is that Arizona would either collapse or be moved and then immediately win it all.

[@JayBeingNatural]

Darn... I wanted that Fumble Dimension coloring book. 😅

[@franklinrogers6388]

Thanks a lot, now I want to color Bono.🤣

[@brianmiller1077]

@@franklinrogers6388 You'd run out of green crayon/marker for how completely wide open he is.

[@artstsym]

OT is standard play, but first team to lead by two wins, and every minute they throw another puck out onto the ice.

[@abbyrytel]

Golf episode of Fumble Dimension: Jon makes a long aside to talk about a chicken soup recipe. Hockey episode of Fumble Dimension: Jon makes a long aside to talk about Radio Shack. We're going to need more data points on this phenomenon.

[@nahometesfay1112]

He has a video where he takes an aside to remind you to remove your window mounted AC unit in the winter to save energy. He also has a video where he apparently ran out of B roll and just shows a really good scrambled eggs recipe with captions while talking.

[@Karmy.]

@@nahometesfay1112 there's also his ramble about the cost of a lawn chair bought at Sears in the 1980s

[@dfp_01]

​@@nahometesfay1112The eggs are related to the content, if it's the video I'm thinking of (DeVry). Just as the run-and-gun offenses featured in the video never stop running up and down the court, Jon advises us to never stop stirring our eggs. The hot sauce (and Research Assistant Jordan) is not related.

[@nahometesfay1112]

@@dfp_01 I love how you refer to it as DeVrey even tho the winning team was the Trojans "We're Serious About Success"

[@dfp_01]

@@nahometesfay1112 It's a well-known fact that "devry got a basketball ball team"

[@lucaspereiramartins1485]

Well, we are so deep in Fumble Dimension that we find a game more broken than Madden and this is something that has to be highlighted.

[@joshbittner]

Also worked at Radio Shack in the late aughts and can confirm, that $20 cordless phone battery you bought for your parents home phone cost 25 cents. The $80 Auvio (one of radio shack’s house brands!) HDMI cable was $3. And yes, the $3 for a pack of 5 capacitors was like 5 cents

[@EMETRL]

a significant chunk of this video is just jon telling radio shack stories. I love this video

[@TotoDG]

The concept for this FD reminds me of a joke I heard from the good ol' Neighbors to the North: "I went to a fight the other day, and a hockey game broke out."

[@Ishkur23]

From a pure Game Theory standpoint, the objective should be to reach the shootout in every game. Because of the NHL's dishonest points system, you get 2 for a win, but 1 point for an OT/shootout loss. That means some games award 3 points and others 2. If you reach the shootout in all 82 games, then the worst you can do is 82 point season, which these days is about 10-15 short of making the playoffs. If you win just half of your shootouts, that's 123 points, which is the third best record since the shootout was implemented in 2005. Nine more shootout wins than that and its the best record in NHL history. Without winning a single game in regulation. I'm sure some defensive-minded coaches have considered that, and have tried to make that their goal. Every game.

[@otsoko3938]

I really enjoy the bottles bouncing around when they break the net

[@JoeMagician]

So you just remade the late 90's early 2000's New Jersey Devils but with an entire roster of Scott Stevens and Martin Brodeur. I am intrigued.

[@Mind_Idiot]

This is incredible. Hell yes. NHL 12 has even bigger extremes for how far you can push the "hitting aggression" bar... and also, you get detailed injury reports on the team you just murdered. You can take players out via acl tears, broken bones, and everybody's favorite, post concussion syndrome. The hits are absolutely cartoonish and you can remove entire lines. I never did figure out if there was an injury cap where the game just gives up

[@maxhill7065]

This is what I always ended up doing in NHL Hitz, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one, my Moose Goalie would leave his net and fight the other goalies until they didn't have any

[@boerhae]

The guy goes out there and realizes there's too many men on the ice and just freezes trying to camouflage and not get noticed by the refs lmfao

[@seannborba8416]

I love that fumble dimensions goal isnt to show how broken these games are. It's just a bonus at this point

[@thepassingstatic6268]

It's a feature, not a bug!

[@Cornan1980]

Thank you for posting this today. I just watched the Mariners lose an 18 inning game to get swept out of the playoffs and I needed this.

[@Law0086]

15:11 Hockey brings out the best smack talk of all time.

[@therealmcromano319]

“We decided to replace the Arizona Coyotes because chat said nobody would notice” Fact check: True

[@sirstewartwallace3917]

Gary Bettman's the only person who cares about the Coyotes.

[@dfp_01]

​@@sirstewartwallace3917I bet Shane Doan cares about them at least a smidgen

[@svfrey7]

It's always fun to make the little men in computers fight against each other to see who wins! I like to imagine that this time around one set of little men got repeatedly body-checked until they gave up and then other little men needed to come provide medical attention.

[@ILoveMisty1985]

Man the BarDown team had to draft the most expensive team ever to win the Cup. Meanwhile Kofie here creating a team of Joe NHLs and won the Cup anyways!

[@codfishbricker]

Working at RadioShack is my favorite piece of Jon lore

[@jwm1444]

As someone who read Breaking Madden and NBAy2K, it makes me extremely happy to see Jon continue to put the AI of these video games through a horror most normal players are usually on the receiving end of. Beautiful stuff.

[@TheNYCGoldenGlover]

your "drilling and grilling" is basically just a healthy forecheck and neutral zone trap. We played it in college which relies on the sturdy mobile defenseman to apply pressure from the moment the opponent touches the puck in their own defensive zone.. The goal is to force turnovers and gaffes. A neutral zone trap is the defensemen playing up while the forwards apply pressure. The goal is to clog up center ice and take away all passing and skating lanes, with the goal of again, forcing turnovers. The Devils and Jaque Lemaire really pioneered the style and it is incredibly boring for fans. Also, your buddy is correct. Most hockey purists hate the shootout. Two teams playing neck and neck only to have a game decided by individual players doing breakaway drills sucks. Takes away the beauty of a fourth overtime win

[@TKBallad]

Glad to see yall have been watching and enjoying Shorsey as much as I have

[@muhammadwahyuhidayat21498]

Finally!!! Hockey Games in Fumble dimensions is HERE!!! VAMOÑOS SECRET BASE nation!!!!

[@seanc6128]

I tried to apply to RadioShack once, the dudes working there told me it sucked and I didn't want to work such a crap job.

[@saintbrownthetrojan]

Now this... is real hockey.

[@mozata6838]

Should've titled this "We started a fight and a Hockey game broke out | Fumble Dimension"

[@cjvs1604]

Theres some form of irony that you set out to make the most violent team in history, and win it all after defeating the Philadelphia Flyers in the Stanley Cup Finals

[@moebunkbedsmoeproblems]

RadioShack Jon is my favorite side character on Fumble Dimension.

[@PkmnMstr10]

When he said their team won 52 times, I spit out my water. Good thing I was brushing my teeth.

[@KeyserSoze-1995]

Best part of this video is the simulation having the PHILADELPHIA FLYERS AS THE EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS which couldn't be further from reality for 2022

[@BingbongDeNiro]

The unexplained 4th OT player frozen in place but knowingly glancing around at the game and his surroundings givin off major Busto 2.0 vibes

[@xacottage]

Get this crossover out of here!

[@davestier6247]

I love this series. They break sports games the way Josh from Let's Game it Out breaks everything he touches.

[@TheIslesShip]

Not only can I not get my ea teams to win a cup but I've watched several be a gm modes online where twitch streamers with loads of experience playing this game can't consistently win the cup, and yall backed into it 🤣. Kudos

[@thepassingstatic6268]

When you try to break an already broken thing, sometimes you get quick fixes.

[@dustypirate28]

I have and always will say this: Shootouts suck and 5 on 5 sudden death will always be the best option. Ties are fine, but there is nothing more nail biting or chill inducing than sudden death 5 on 5 hockey.

[@itsnick37]

4 on 4 in regular season 10 minutes. Tie after 10.

[@DukeNauticus]

Oh man, just the title reminded me of something I used to do when I was a kid... I don't remember if it was on PS1 or SNES, but I remember playing a hockey game back in like... late 90's or early 2000's and I created such a violent team that I was literally winning half the games just by roughing up the opposing team to the point that they had to forefit, since they didn't have enough players to put out on the ice anymore. Wish I could remember which game it was, cause that was a blast.

[@Ironman1o1]

That'd be mutant league Hockey, where the puck was just the way you controled the camrea.

[@TehPwninator11]

i love the 2 minute aside in the middle of the video of Jon describing his experience working at RadioShack

[@austinshook7289]

Fumble Dimension is the greatest series on KZbin

[@stblanco516]

My first experience with NHL was NHL 96 on the SNES. The exploit there was to go full speed to the opponent’s back line and shoot a slap shot on the back line. It would shoot and some how get in behind the goalie. I had every starter with a hat trick every game for a full season and won the Stanley cup without losing a game lol

[@olivia6720]

the hamburger logo is killing me so much

[@mwn3d_]

2:10 It's not like deciding a basketball game with a 3 point shootout. It's like deciding a basketball game with a 1 on 1 competition which would be amazing.

[@nohbuddy1]

That's horrible

[@KingSandvich1]

I was not emotionally ready for "if you touch the puck, you are out of luck"

[@ColeB6]

It's so funny seeing the clones pass each other the Stanley Cup and celebrate. Just like 20 identical guys high fiving each other

[@atamapatto]

Babe, wake up, new Fumble Dimension just dropped.

[@bobheyotue9850]

The fumble dimension isn’t just hypothetical seasons or game scenarios it’s a review on how bad EA is with creating game that doesn’t rely on cheap X factor mechanics and animations.

[@shakenbacon3655]

Yep I haven't done it in years, but I remember simming games between the 90+ overall team Canada vs the 60 overall Team Japan and the results would pretty much be 50/50. EAs CPU AI is pretty unintelligent and there's so much momentum in the game that even when there's a better team it seems like the AI will catch up through strange bounces or the other team stops trying. I do think this is better in modern years, but EA has been notorious for not being good to sim or watch cpu vs cpu. 2k basketball is great for simming and experimenting by comparison. If you have a 60ovr team play a 90ovr team they're gonna lose like 99.9% of the time.

[@ayebrabonthetrack8453]

The recent Tennessee versus Alabama game deserves a deep rewind. Does anyone else agree? I’d definitely watch this.

[@harrisonlee9585]

So you made the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers

[@chaosof99]

"HIT SOMEBODY!" is what the crowd roared, as the Fumble Dimension came over the boards.

[@shukterhousejive]

There's something poetic about a team made entirely of violent enforcers beating the Flyers in the finals

[@BrotherAlpha]

A hockey-themed Fumble Dimension! Awesome. I have to lead to grab groceries right now. Damn.

[@jamescarlton4011]

Game Dev here... I'm willing to bet an entire team of copied players with the same name causes issues somewhere. Yes I know, the game isn't just looking at the players name in the code to differentiate each actor... But... I'm willing to bet there's some edge cases where it's getting confused about a whole team of the same name.