We’re experiencing an empathy shortage, but we can fix it together | Jamil Zaki | TEDxMarin

“Being a psychologist studying empathy today is a little bit like being a climatologist studying the polar ice caps,” says psychology professor Jamil Zaki. That’s because according to research, our collective empathy is eroding. But there is good news: Empathy is a skill, it can be built, and he explains how he - and others - are doing just that.
Jamil Zaki is an assistant professor of psychology at Stanford University. His research examines social cognition and behavior, especially how people understand and respond to each other’s emotions. This work spans a number of domains, social influence, prosocial behavior, and especially empathy (see ssnl.stanford.edu for details). In addition to studying the mechanics of empathy, Dr. Zaki’s work focuses on helping people empathize better. For instance, new research from his lab examines how to encourage empathy for people from distant political and ethnic groups, and also how caregivers and healthcare professionals can effectively empathize with their patients while maintaining their own well being.
ssnl.stanford.edu
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This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@nick23900]

TBH I almost cried when he said I couldn't get more empathetic. I've been working on my empathy lately because I feel like I'm missing out on life by not trying to connect with other people any deeper than on a surface level. It's rare I ever find people who I connect with, and I think I'm the reason.

[@cueshq789]

@@xaaacia7611 why does the world "need" more people like that

[@viviansmith8036]

@@cueshq789 Because no matter how much people say they don't need others or their help, one day they will. And the less empathetic people there is in the world the less help is available. Imagine if no one cared if no one was forced to be nice on their jobs. You would go anywhere and get the worst service and everyone would be rude and only out for themselves.

[@cueshq789]

@@viviansmith8036 sounds like new york, one of the most successful cities in america lmao

[@adagatiyascullawl3458]

@@cueshq789 Sounds like New York, a terrible place that would be way better if people were nicer

[@cueshq789]

@@adagatiyascullawl3458 people from up north dont think they arent nice. its all about perspective. i feel you tho kinda

[@gitanjalireddy4372]

Empathy is humanity, lately due to extreme stress and anxiety I had changed from being very empathetic and compassionate to an emotionally numb person and I started fearing that I was someone who has ASPD because of my lack of empathy. Once I took the time to learn that empathy can take the backseat because of mental disorders such as anxiety and OCD I knew I had to get rid of my stressors and exercise and eat healthy and stuff but my empathy was not yet to come back though my anxiety and ocd had reduced greatly making my fear of having ASPD more concrete. This video gives me hope and determination.

[@jatingirdhar1589]

Correct. When someone is misbehaving with us, we could understand he is going through a tough time. Many problems would resolve. Yes, I will do that. I swear. Lack of empathy led to my divorce. Empathy is essential. Peace!

[@brianwade8649]

It seems like you will succeed in getting back your empathy because it means so much to you. You value it highly. Good luck!

[@ri3706]

Wow. I’ve been feeling this and didn’t know what had happened to my empathy. Thank you for sharing this.

[@sagedraws1000]

this is literally me omg

[@dontcare7477]

Absolutely loved this episode. I seem to learn more about this every day. I’m a proof it’s a skill. I’m a breaking a mold in my family

[@brianwade8649]

I love this.

[@alwynwatson6119]

Its not a skill it's a decision made on the basis of a straw man version of cynicism.

[@popkid2395]

Just decided to search this topic on KZbin, and it’s interesting how this and two other videos are about “how to care for others” while every other video is “how to not care about others.”

[@brialynne6124]

popkid2395 care about people not for people. Empathy is not about being a people pleaser. Have boundaries .

[@bonniesullivan9548]

This was excellent. I was so happy to hear that people can be taught. I hope the skills are being taught everywhere.

[@WeekendMuse]

Inspiring talk. I wish there were more views to make us more empathetic people, more empathetic communities and to make the world a kinder place.

[@karoll_arianna]

Thank you for your advice!

[@wcfan623]

"Tune yourself to different emotional frequencies" "Empathy is a skill" Then habit, and at last quality of a decent person. Imagine you get paid for getting emotions correct! Incentive vs Trait.

[@johnmandrake8829]

Empathy is a skill and it’s a light cast into the darkness engulfing the world so it’s hard to keep it burning but we can get better at it cause it’s a skill afterall

[@samuelforesta]

Nice metaphor.

[@domINkl]

Profound. Thank you Jamil.

[@thomasdenamahan9846]

Great, just perfect, you made your case and used the art of persuasion perfectly. From the narratives to the humor, perfect.

[@nahsha]

Thank you. I am working on an empathy training workshop focused on bringing joy and balance into one's life.

[@alwaysbeeurself]

Taking time to get to know how another feels, why they feel the way they do, and what they are feeling; life changing for not only us, not only another, but for anyone that benefits may help others to change for the better as well, whether it is realized or not.

[@jamieromeyn9390]

Engaging and motivating

[@ShadowZZZ]

one of the most underrated ted talks

[@chazchillings3019]

Most hottest

[@MaiMai-rw1vh]

One of the great presentation! So inspiring and empowering

[@puipuisetter9538]

thanks for giving me hope that empathy is a skill so that i can one day have that skill thanks for empathising with the non-empathetic ppl who wants to learn to empathise but keep receiving voices that one has to be born empathetic to know how to emphasise thanks for the amazing speech that made me feel that i am not that terrible a person after all and i can overcome this value that i lack which made me hate myself so much

[@loly9929]

Hahaha some people are at the point they hate blindly no matter what they just cant

[@MisterExcelsior]

Yea man I’m trying to learn too! You got this! It’s for a better future and we know it! I’m tired of hurting people.

[@VivianixonArts]

Dont worry, you're not alone, I'm a narcisisst who recently got self-aware of my condition. We'll get through this🤝

[@brianwade8649]

The higher the empathy the higher the development level for a society.

[@ohmannhey]

Just had a silly thought while watching this: Can social media have a negative Impact on empathy development. This assumes Mr. Zaki is right. Until now it was alway assumed that empathy development is pretty much static.

[@wikan1996]

try to read this book, The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America and your hypothesis will become valid. As narcissism is the exact opposite of empathy were its all about me me me

[@viviansmith8036]

Yes, I think you right some social media is fueling the fire

[@lindahelenscheufler7379]

Depends on the quality and contents of the social media... good thoughts -> good reactions....

[@user-iz6fr1lm5y]

Very inspiring~~ Thank you!

[@jsmariani4180]

People saying they do empathetic things is hardly an indication that they do them.

[@angelmeade6927]

This is was great. Unfortunately today empathy is even harder to find

[@MagdalenaKimberly]

great talk!

[@creatorsgroup7337]

Empathy is good...but we need to learn balance this.

[@n-matter305]

this is really hard for people who are really empathic and live in a third world country in a town full of pain on the streets. you try to help but there's just too many and too little you

[@doxyshiva]

Thank you 🙂

[@akankshatandon9659]

One of the best TED talks that I have came across ❤️❤️

[@Andyvague]

Amazing!

[@moriah1394]

His own life story is a brilliant example of developing empathy. Empathy and sales? Perhaps and that empathy often amputates AFTER the sale. I think the presenter is making very very broad generalization at the beginning but it gets better. as he talks about it being a skill.

[@krzysztofbuda3712]

Please add, a link or detail info about man vs woman Empathy study 13:20

[@iknowed1]

Great !

[@AlexLJ55]

Cool, how? How do I practice it? How do I get better? What do I look for?

[@jessikahkipf6103]

Is there a list of resources used, or cited?

[@patrickknight6542]

I live in Marin County and let me assure you… these people were “empathy-signaling” more than they were reflecting how they live their lives!

[@Salari786]

As an Indian with huge diversity we are having more empathy, but current politics is destroying our empathy for their purpose.

[@greek2068]

Just cut out negative people

[@akhilbisht798]

Find someone who knows what's going on India appreciate it.

[@DavidD-KingWolf65]

Man 😿. I feel bad for you.

[@knelle1114]

I think we have less empathy largely because are struggles have gotten larger. Stagnant wages, lack of affordable housing, and overpriced healthcare have all be a problem in this country and it’s getting worse.

[@MarcPrime]

This video made me cry. And i'm at work!

[@vipermad358]

Must be a really tough job if you get to watch videos. Must be an office-type. 🙄

[@ShadowZZZ]

either train the hard way to become more empathic or just take MDMA

[@dogsarefab]

Empathy is good but it is also draining.

[@slushice5325]

Wowww soo coool 😜😜😜😜😜👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@TheGoddon]

Show me some empathy for not having empathy, ykwis.

[@jderrickson4597]

That's not how it works man

[@TheGoddon]

@@jderrickson4597 Sympathy maybe?

[@enlightened_orca]

I definitely feel that social media and a lack of consequence (sitting behind the screen) has a negative effect on empathy. So many old farts and especially republicans just don't care about anything other than themselves. its sad really.

[@pascal4089]

Maybe one part of this empathy is understanding the struggles of republicans that you decide to just box as people who hate behind screens

[@enlightened_orca]

@@pascal4089 I wrote that comment a year ago and I've only seen worse behavior all around. People only want to fight and prove their side is 'right' and words fall on deaf ears.

[@pascal4089]

@@enlightened_orca yeah your probably right but maybe what we could do even if it hopeless is to keep hearing these sides so that we don't do like the ones you describe ?

[@dshoec]

I am highly empathetic.

[@sacredpeace9064]

We can’t fix it, there just isn’t a high enough ratio of humans who have the capability. Most really do only care about themselves, they only give real support to another person when they think they’ll receive a large enough reward or benefit . That’s why so few are supportive of their own family members, partners, friends, neighbors, etc (people in their own circles who they don’t favor) It’s rare got a human to have genuine empathy.

[@jeepgirl6225]

I think that Data was very interested in learning about emotions.

[@therealpat_]

Anyone else got Social Health and Wellness 💀..

[@angelotheil8169]

Wow

[@gwendolynn7314]

❤ ❤

[@PhoenixtheII]

... Liars ... Most of em... Feeling for people less fortunate than them... And most people raising. Yet, when they see a homeless person: NOT IN MY NEIGHBOURHOOD, PLEASE GET RID OF THEM!

[@shaheer_ghazi]

Amazing speech Allahu Akbar!!!! God bless you! ⚔️🤍❄️🕋❄️🤍⚔️

[@marshall170]

im looking for ways to stop feeling empathy

[@nextfantasy9549]

You don't want that. Trust me!

[@marshall170]

nextFantasy I give empathy and don’t get any in return. No point

[@marshall170]

obama prez who says I was nice I abuse everyone and it’s funny

[@annbrown9273]

Are we confusing empathy with sympathy?

[@MissMary1012]

I dont understand what source he refers to, about empethy being nonreversable or changable?? Most of the filosophical paedagogy sience sertainly helps people with a strategy...

[@slowmotion6870]

Great talk. But when you pay people to show 'empathy' and get better results than when not being payed, doesn't that prove sociopathy rather than 'empathy'...? LOL

[@cueshq789]

I feel like capitalism enforced the "need" of incentive

[@nicholassmith7723]

The mic was so distracting

[@jinxyami724]

Mrs shawrtz

[@arefrastegar1833]

Hey guys I’m trying to practice empathy! Is there anyone here who would be willing to talk to me about their problems?

[@NG-xn4dd]

Media stinks

[@neagaelena5990]

As a sociopath I couldn't care less because it does not match with my morals (and yes we do have those). Dude you can not just sum ot up!! Plus he feels stuff :( I am just confused

[@MrMaximchuk]

The name is a bit misleading. I had an impression this is a talk about how to manipulate empathy of other people to get them do what you want. Got outraged, read the comments and figured it should be not that. The talk is pretty nice

[@briancannard7335]

[@roxyolmstead3691]

Sometimes I wish I could turn it off... Sometimes I cry all day when I watch TV.

[@lupitagomez7197]

Focus on the beauty of life.

[@vipermad358]

There’s a Ted Talk for that. 🙄

[@jinxyami724]

Change the video

[@atthehops]

Is empathy even a thing? What is the biological basis for empathy?

[@getfugu5855]

I'm not the expert Dr. Zaki is on this, but here's an intuition/guess to try to answer that: We're a social species. We've always lived in groups, it makes sense that those who got along with others would be more likely to succeed. If you don't get along with others, you'd probably get kicked out of the group or at least somewhat ostracized, which from a very objective standpoint probably limits your likelihood of reproducing. Empathy helps you get along with other people, so that makes it an advantageous evolutionary skill to develop. As humans have advanced, those groups have gotten larger, and therefore include more people who are different from us. There's more people to get along with, but the more people you can get along with, the better off you are. While you don't have to get along with everyone (society certainly illuminates that fact today), understanding others can still help you in everyday interactions with the people you spend the most time with. Understanding and getting along with others therefore seem to be an advantage from an evolutionary standpoint, so it's good to be empathetic. (We also get a dopamine rush when we help people or make others happy, which does indicate an underlying evolutionary reward aswell)

[@atthehops]

@@getfugu5855 Chimps live in groups and they get along. Do they also have empathy? Does the answer to this question depend on the way one defines empathy? I'm going to make the claim that empathy, as it is commonly understood, is a human invention that we place a belief in, much like free will. There are perhaps some psychological and biological components that contribute to the effect that we may understand empathy to be but what are those components?

[@atthehops]

@@getfugu5855 Somehow the rest of my reply was cut out. I wrote, ...a human invention (or social construct) that we can place our belief in or form beliefs about, much like free will. So we need to examine the physical underpinnings, the biology, to understand what we are referring to as empathic..

[@Xaviergonzalez85]

@@atthehops empathy is an idea still believable. Narrow minds won't get it.

[@Xaviergonzalez85]

@@atthehops your question sounds like "imagine how good this idea could be if it was a good idea" dumbooooo😂😂😂😂😂

[@venkatasivagabbita788]

That is a BIG Lie. The student who scored second highest in Pakistan would end up on the streets. Is everyone in Pakistan who did not score the highest on the streets? There is no empathy or sense of family in Pakistan? And you call yourself a psychologist who is studying empathy?

[@DavidD-KingWolf65]

Those are your problems, and I'm sorry your country has to go through this 😿.

[@venkatasivagabbita788]

I am sorry your country lives in deliberate ignorance

[@vipermad358]

He uses “emotional labor” totally wrong.

[@vipermad358]

How to make money with buzzwords and phrases. 101.

[@johnmandrake8829]

Empathy is a skill and it’s a light cast into the darkness engulfing the world so it’s hard to keep it burning but we can get better at it cause it’s a skill afterall