THE 5 BIGGEST SECRETS OF THE INFJ (that we never reveal voluntarily)

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today, we will be discussing the five most intriguing secrets of the INFJ personality. Unlike some individuals who wear their true selves on their sleeves, INFJs are a complex puzzle waiting to be unraveled. Their unique traits and qualities are deeply embedded within them, often unnoticed by others. However, once these secrets are unveiled, people are left astonished. Therefore, our focus today is to delve into these secrets and explore whether they should remain hidden or be brought to light. How can we make use of this knowledge? Join us as we uncover the enigma that is the INFJ.
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[@joanriley2278]

I have frequently found that people tend to underestimate me until they see me in circumstances that require a stronger/firmer response.

[@user-fs6ou3fk9p]

That's been my experience until I set my boundaries. I set them quietly unless my in-laws confront me directly, which they have. It's so wonderful to be me.

[@user-zb8xp2zc4v]

Infjs are a frightening breed period😂 the devine power in them sure can rattle normal folks😂😂

[@Universe_Draft]

Do you think so ??? That we are frightening people 😅 probably we are unaware of it.

[@user-zb8xp2zc4v]

@@Universe_Draft 😂😂 I'm telling you, like there's something more than meets the eye with our kind. Its like we've left humanity behind and shifted to a "level 2 of being" if i may so put, which the rest of humanity is still striving towards. Among ourselves, what we do is nothing short of normal, we go on doing what is required to be done, but being viewed by an individual who's not reached our state, to them it seems kinda odd, thus scary! I don't know, maybe I'm flapping my wings to hard, being delusional and all, but u know it Universe Draft, u feel it everyday u wake up that there's something more than science can explain about u. A super force dwells within u, and its vibration is so strong that those around u, if not infj too, can be affected by it. Not in a negative way, u know that😂 but to them its like a supreme being has descended from some other realm to walk in their midst. Us infjs are frightened by our own power as well, jst that they don't know it. Raised like all normal folks, we've come to believe we are like all the rest, and this (power)we subconsciously cage within ourselves with all our might, which either way...somewhat manages to slip out in small doses like a fellow smoking a cigarette and its smoke affecting all those around him,but other smokers. I know this thought has crossed ur mind,"what if i were to reach the full potential of the gifts i have? What would i be among people, how would they perceive me?" There's much more going on around the world Universe Draft, people who have reached higher levels of "being" who wont come out in fear of driving the world crazy😂😂 U may reach that level too if u cast aside the ideas of oh! "I don't wanna delude myself" "this is a scientific thing that can be answered"😂 I'm not saying now go on and spend the rest of ur days contemplating this what I've shared with u, coz ull drive urself insane if u do. Go on like u always have, trying to b normal, which we know we never will be, help where u can and b devastated where u failed😂 thats our nature anyway. We love wenzes, sure she tries to help us be otherwise and relieve the fear of our own power(coz that's what it is that unsettles us)😂but fact is we wont change( she won't change)and put ourselves first! Nah!we can't. We are beings of service, here to aid mankind! Its our purpose. which we wont ever escape😞.(Funny how Marvel and D.C. are always trying to portray us)😂😂😂

[@Universe_Draft]

@@user-zb8xp2zc4v thank you for your long and detailed response/reply/ explanation,compiles most of how we are. It’s so true that we have an immense inner strength and power at the same time, however as for me I have been surrounded by toxic people lately, it seems that I cross their path to teach ‘em what they are not, which annoys me sometimes … I’m asking to myself when it will be a time of relief…. In the process I’ve become stronger… what surprises me is that lately other people are approaching me with a sweet smile telling me that I look like an Angel, that I behave differently from the rest of the people, and also they’ve told me that I have something in the way I portray myself which I’m not aware of …. This is so odd and you now talking to me it feels like somehow is a confirmation of my inner doubts ( which are many 😂). On the other hand I know I came to earth to assist people that needs hope and encouragement to move on, as for me I have won my own battles I have shown some super natural tenacity to overcome the challenges that life throws at me with GRACE 😂 that characteristic is a true sign of us INFJ people and also being super strategic cold as ice and warm and caring at the same time . Some people will hate us but we assure them that we embrace justice and compassion at all cost, at the same time we can nurture the people who can see the light in US which is our ultimate reward 🙏☀️😊

[@lammilee1]

​@@user-zb8xp2zc4v🎯

[@simplypositiveme]

​@@user-zb8xp2zc4vI couldn't even concentrate on and read your reply because you used "u" instead of "you". 😂😅

[@mlbullbooks]

Honestly, certain things I’ve outgrown or just don’t care about anymore. I respect others’ boundaries, so I’m not worrying about being somebody’s “savior.” I just believe in being real and writing the truth about spiritual and natural things. How others receive it is none of my concern. I don’t care if others don’t like certain things I do or decisions I make. I can’t control others’ reactions, I’m not looking for others’ approval, and I’m not responsible for others’ emotions or feelings. I wish others well, but I don’t chase after people, and especially those who I’m not that close to anyway. What others cannot accept about my personal beliefs, morals, or principles I know someone else will. I trust GOD’s judgment because He knows all things, including how to place the right people in one’s life.

[@infjmale91]

You sound like a true Sigma INFJ. I'm the same. I love myself too much to compromise. If people don't like what I do, either they use an actual door or I'll door slam it for them.

[@Universe_Draft]

Certainly we don’t

[@crazy4fray]

Exactly!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@roberttrough6439]

Wonderful! I’ve learned to put up boundaries. It protects me. I really don’t care if it bothers others. At least now I know why people called me weirdo. I am a weirdo and I love it. All my crazy ways of doing things and accomplishments. I can honestly say I’m at peace without myself now. Being an INFJ explain much of my past. Being a Sigma alway explains much. No matter Merry Christmas and a Joy Filled New Year no matter what happens in this world. Keep smiling 😊

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

Learned and learning, this about an IFNJ woman, and I'm understanding that I have Sigma traits also.

[@jnl3564]

I think that these things are only “secrets” because other people are not sensitive to my actions and words. I do express myself clearly, other people just mostly ignore or dismiss it. Over time, it feels like a waste of energy to express myself to people who aren’t curious or open. Being loud and proud doesn’t feel like my personality, I’m more subtle. Expressing myself to people who are shocked or terrified and cannot manage to cobble together any type of coherent response to me... feels like a big waste of time and energy. Their reactions affect me whether I like it or not.

[@muma6559]

that's so true. I evaluate ahead of time that they just won't get it, so why bother showing people something they will misread or misunderstand or worse yet... think they get it when they don't have a clue. I have so many examples

[@kencornwell]

Yes and it helps to hear from these videos to work on ourselves.

[@muma6559]

@@kencornwell Well, it's equally about understanding other people

[@infjmale91]

Sadly, us INFJs are like candy to narcissists/sociopaths (because we play to them). Once we have enough & expose them (try to help); they get all defensive and won't except it. They will say "you have changed & you are the narcissist). You will learn quickly WHO to waste energy on & who not too.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

I agree. Some ppl think if you don't yell it out loud, you didn't say the exact same thing just calmly. Meaning exactly what was expressed

[@gabrielle9563]

That is why we say too much: "I am sorry" for everything, all the time! We fell responsability for peoples feelings.

[@gitodo2692]

I’m in my late 20s and I’ve been judged all my life and even assaulted by my caregivers,friends and I have moved on. That has made me a person that either loves unconditionally or door slam entirely. There’s no In between 😅

[@thatspersonal7910]

I wish to tell you and all INFJ's in their 20's. Do not look for marriage. Try very hard to find a hobby or enjoyed activity you can turn into a career. I have been married for 40 years and guess what? My husband does not like me and it sucks. Just a heads up, and your worth it.

[@Eirene628]

@@thatspersonal7910 You are so right. Find a hobby...music is mine. Music never leaves, never judges.

[@DonTrump-sv1si]

Im just being nice and I care about you as a human being, im not hitting on you. Nor am i, in the least, interested in having any kind of relationship with you.

[@anna-lenastein2084]

A am from Sweden. You talking very fast. More then before!! Slow down, pleace!

[@avoiceinthewilderness9864]

Hmmmm......

[@PhayzeGee]

THIS!!!!!!! WOW! I always feel misunderstood as if I've lead people on meanwhile I'm being myself

[@cinnabun715]

@@anna-lenastein2084 You can change the playback speed in the settings. I have to slow it down when I listen to Russel Brand ❤😂

[@ryan7541]

This happens to me all the time.

[@jodirowe2996]

I’ve found people who are insecure, especially narcissists are intimidated by me and resort to bullying me. A big flag is folks who tell me “I hate people. People suck”I’ve learned to door slam but tbh it’s still uncomfortable to be around that negative energy.

[@roberttrough6439]

I learned I was INFJ at work 40 years ago. It was a communication class for the entire plant. Never knew anything else about it. Just took several internet tests 5 or so years ago. I always enjoyed working alone and always got projects done even others. Eventually the plant put most everything on me working alone on third shift or weekend shifts. Anyway what does it all mean being an INFJ? I enjoy being alone. Happy and content with myself. Continue to do projects in my own home. I help others. Stores and malls can drive me crazy at times I always need to get out. If I’m overwhelmed I like to get alone and do something for myself and live being outdoors. So often people on the street pick me out of a crowd to help them with a problem? I often thought I had a sign on my forehead. My brother and nephew noticed it to since we hung out together. I think I’m a narcissist magnet. But have learned about those demonic people.

[@kacake]

My bullies deprive me of affection, acceptance, and freedom but they don't know I can live without them, i only seek validation from God, if God says you're doing it wrong, and majority says its right, I 'd rather be wrong or vice versa. People are not good judgers of character, including myself, our knowledge is limited. God's wisdom is the measurement, it's better to be humble than to always be right, its the pathway to limitless power. Sometimes, I'm shocked listening to things I really wouldn't want to just because we are open to people. I should speak up when I disagree so that they know my stand but still in a way that is respectful.

[@HaleyMary]

I definitely connect with being fiercely independent and I honestly think that my parents don't expect that.

[@TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd]

Hi, I'm under the impression that I need to educate each person I'm encountering on a personal level and I don't have energy nor time for that so I simply avoid. Am I the only one feeling that way?

[@imdjc4]

I gave up explaining myself many years ago because I'd much rather them have their opinion of me than expalin myself and have them baffled. I tell people I am much more entertained listening to their opinions of me.

[@TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd]

Like I said, I avoid. I'm too much exhausted anyway. So I gave up on relationships, not just forming a couple. Which sucks but it sucks more putting myself with people, I'd rather have my life in this incarnation cut short than forcing myself to be in relationshits. (voluntary typo)

[@roslyncerro1263]

Not at all!

[@FabianEllis]

@@TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd enjoy this incarnation tho

[@TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd]

@@FabianEllis Hell yes. My way.

[@ocho8172]

You have mentioned the "Hidden Savior", in concept, etc. This is really sinking in for me. I DO need to extend this part of myself in a more healthy way. That would definitely be MUCH better, all around! Thank you, Wenzes! You're the best! Ocho 8

[@TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd]

I was the same for me for decennials.

[@bobbyclark6116]

Wow! You truly see inside my head. The 'versions of myself' and 'responsibilty of making sure other people are happy'. It is good to feel someone understands and can express that. I have taken the MBTI test a few times, and been INFJ every time, but interestingly huge % for the NFJ but always only 50-55% introvert, which I feel is true. My partner persuades me to attend social events. I don't want to go, but once I'm there, he says he loves how I 'easily strike up conversations, make friends' which he says he would find awkward. I love being with people, but underneath I crave time on my own to be in my own space.

[@carolynberg6290]

We know who we are and the good we do and bring to others, if its not good enough to them and judges us instead of expressing appreciation, oh well, its on them. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn what people think or say about me, as long as I know I've done the right thing morally and for good purpose, that's all that matters. Like I said "We know who we are very well".

[@luciana1930]

I love this feeling of being like an open book to someone, thank you

[@cg6267]

You changed my life girl. Thank you for yet another incredible life changing video ❤️

[@chessatreyu3601]

I dont care anybody else, i just love God and just want to be loved by God, thats my secret 😊

[@wqchillywilly26]

Careful with this. Remember that serving others is a way to show God that we truly love him.

[@benjaminmcvay9864]

🙏

[@FabianEllis]

@@wqchillywilly26TRUE. ❤

[@chessatreyu3601]

@@wqchillywilly26 i agree with u, "dont care anybody else" mean that i do God commandments without caring to be judged by the other people, as for the relation with other people and be good with other people so far im still doing that thing fine in my life cause its God command too, but thanks for the advice 👍

[@numerologicatarot3333]

@@chessatreyu3601beautiful clarification…

[@Mcky-lw1zb]

Some factors are very true, some not really. I have a very good friend of many years, and our relationship we don't expect anything from each other, but we're both rational and logical, although I'm a lot more emotional than she.

[@avikchatterjee1945]

Hell yeah! We don't like to be caged at all for sure!!!!

[@rootstompinrainwater]

We also sometimes hide it because we have created patterns from an early age of "fitting in"... I became accustomed to "mimicking" everyone around me in a small, southern, country town pretty much from fresh out of the womb. Your videos have helped me realize who I am from an "outside" perspective. Thank you so much! 🙏 Which you covered at around 3 minutes a bit. I'm just saying sometimes it's, just like life, our spot in space and time determines the strategies needed in order to get where we are today... I can't imagine realizing what I have realized without ALL of the pain.

[@user-zb8xp2zc4v]

U go girl. Wenzes u sure do bring our minds to ease a bit. We appreciate u🎉 keep preaching angel🎉🎉😊

[@karinkent4681]

Thank you for really helping me to see how to move easier and happier through life.

[@todesque]

Everything here is 100% correct.

[@daryl5379]

This is so amazing, Im an INFJ for sure, also a Leo, also a Monkey but this stuff really hits home to me, very eye opening at a time I am looking at parts of my life I'm trying to change. Thanks

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

Same

[@stevenmurphy868]

You know what you’re talking about. This resonates with me and I don’t feel alone. Thank you.

[@edwardmontinola2311]

Infj E.Q. is so high.they dont easily end up having an epic tuntrum.compared to other mbti personality traits.

[@nuttall5730]

I am happy to be a good person that will go above and beyond . I'm am a born injm . We never hurt anyone we save them x

[@gitodo2692]

Recently told a narcissistic friend, and I quote: Me: I need a break from our friendship Them: For how long!? 🤨

[@Paris-gl1pm]

At least they acknowledged what you said. I literally told my ex, I don't want to talk to him anymore(or confirming we weren'ttogether), and he ignored me like I didn't even say a thing.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

😂

[@wonkygustav4457]

Infjs are beautiful ❤

[@MegaCyberleader]

The monkey Trap: Here is one Ive been saving up my sleeve. I call it the monkey trap. Its when you place bait the monkey likes in a hole its hand will fit but he cant take out if it grips the bait. The monkey WILL not let go of the bait, even as you walk up on them as they try and struggle to ran away with the bait. You then slip a noose around its neck and no wyou got a monkey and he still doesnt get the bait because now hes got a noose around his neck. Thats how I like to treat narcassist, thieves, scammers, and generally stupid people who live like that monkey. It works even on humans.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

It's hard to separate the idea that, "it's not my responsibility" since I automatically feel like I have some responsibility when I've involved myself in a relationship. A concept for further introspection

[@pixiepikaahu3140]

I organize holidays, where we're going and what we're doing for my grandchildren in making sure there are activities and areas that are fun for everyone, food, drink, playthings etc, I am great at planning ❤ and take responsibility and lead- no problem 😊

[@jamesviktorovich]

Lol. A week in the woods alone, is how I recharge. 😅

[@bbfunkandblues]

Number 4 is a good one. Now I understand why I did this in the past. in most cases it was to be liked. Now I can ask the question, do I do this to be liked or do I want to help the person.

[@kevinyarusso326]

Not trying to save anyone!

[@1800screwthem]

Dam that hidden savior thing is too real. That was a nice insight. Thank you

[@ambraiezzi5037]

Before watching I already know one of the 5. Our huge crushes that last ages.

[@thisintrovertsheart]

8:44 (love the time stamp 😅) Crazily, I am an event planner as well as a coach. I voluntarily sign up to subject myself to worrying about everyone having a good time but like a true INFJ, I am amazing at anything I chose to do. People have an event they still talk about to this day every single time but yes, it is completely exhausting. I don’t talk to anyone for about a week after 😜 I love us! 💕

[@jerome6572]

Wenze's so true of me.Wenze's I thank you for you for guidance.Jerome❤❤❤

[@shalalwaheed3854]

I thought these were all are trauma responses... And I was going to take therapy for it

[@muma6559]

I don't mean to laugh but... is it ok if I LOL ?

[@shalalwaheed3854]

​@@muma6559yeah u can... Wenze correct many thoughts...

[@2QAYL1138]

They kind of are, but that doesn't mean they need to be abandoned, just understood.

[@wanderanon]

#3 gave me the best deep belly laugh, I recognized it right away. 🤣

[@garystapel1165]

Thanks, Im trying to not dim my light This helps

[@LeAnne-uw3wp]

Thanks, love your videos

[@raft115]

a vision of life that is so good it is just incredible and it will remain mine forever💙✨

[@muma6559]

me too

[@raft115]

@@muma6559 👏✨💙

[@Paris-gl1pm]

I don't hide much. It's just ppl don't hear me when I tell them upfront.

[@beebee1676]

I can take responsibility & organise things easily bc i can see all angles of the situation & the needs of the people involved. Maybe that comes with experience or upbringing/environment. Even having a child, i wasn't anxious about the responsibility bc i could deal with it (or i would have waited) but other women i knew expressed doubt in their ability to cope.

[@RLH9265]

Damn! Spot on! 💯 💯 💯

[@simplypositiveme]

"People dont know I'm saving them!!"😮

[@evelina733]

He did you learn all of this, this is so on point!!!

[@stevenmurphy868]

I love this!

[@jenniferblue1387]

I just found this tonight and wow I am enlightened!!

[@lisarosewright1602]

Now I’m questioning myself. I am an INFJ but I am the planner in the family. I throw an epic Christmas party every year and when there is a funeral or other major event I take the initiative to make it memorable. Does this mean that I am not an INFJ? Every other trait that comes up defines me but this.

[@OGK-1414]

Excellent work here!!!

[@avikchatterjee1945]

Wen's my heart and soul.

[@FSCHW]

One of your best. 👍👍👍

[@MegaCyberleader]

you then feed the monkey super super salty things, just let it eat and eat and eat until it had its fill. Then you deprive it of water. "because youdont got water" Then when the monkey is NICE and thirsty, you let him go on a very very long leash and he will RUN STRAIGHT to the water. Now you got a monkey and WATER.

[@MegaCyberleader]

Thats what I always thought INFJS do. Im kinda dark but Ive been in dark places. And wenzes you have showed me light at the end of that tunnel.

[@Wenzes]

What are some of your INFJ secrets that you feel nobody knows about?

[@tallgirlmodel]

I would buy nice things for others if it’s what I really wanted but wouldn’t buy it for myself 🙇‍♀️ now I feel like I deserve to get what I wanted

[@raft115]

a vision of life that is so good it is just incredible and it will remain mine forever

[@RandyMoe]

I am loyal. But I am now alone and happy. I am worried about war. But most love it. Not I.

[@muma6559]

@@tallgirlmodel I use to love buying quality things for people.

[@FabianEllis]

I did watched films & music & I see so many patterns it hurts. I’m coping. ❤

[@PaulandBrenda]

My worst quality is that I get bored with people and move on. If you are not offering anything new and that was all I could learn from you. I lose interest really quick. It’s hurtful to others though.

[@maximinoblas1171]

Good morning 🙏 🌄 ☺️ 💓 ✨️ 💛 i love your videos

[@user-md9yv7jx2c]

I am beginning to get a pattern.

[@bongiwematsoha1147]

😂😂😂

[@beverlycano9552]

Dont mistaken resolve for something else yes...

[@michaelhoffmann1907]

Damn good content Wenzes! You are really spot on.

[@stephenfegely]

💯

[@Lolo-lt2lf]

2 pisses me off about my other infj friends and just people in general. When it comes to taking action and responsibility, i act more like an enfj in that regard. Like, get off your ass and take charge AKA DO things for once!! Quit dilly dallying and literally just get things done with ppl. I also think infjs have a great capacity for organizing ppl bc of our soft skills but maybe just DONT sometimes because we're afraid. Is that true? Or is there something else?? Bc if there is, geez! Let me know! Maybe ill be less pissed 😂

[@valsotto27]

Is that a Boston or. New joisy accent slipping a but 😂

[@simplypositiveme]

I was actually thinking the same!!!😮

[@missstarrynight7736]

These are not "secret INFJ traits we don't share". They are signs of emotional struggles , which are pretty much typical for many, many people, no matter what personality they have. Just saying. And nope, INFJ aren't strong people, who can live outside the system, because of fierce independence. Unless you're a young, rich, healthy person and a hermit, you need others. We need people. Same as people need us. And we don't always hold to our values, because it's idealistic, but not pragmatic. Unfortunately. We live in a flawed world.

[@Tified967]

Hesitant about taking action, planning & organisation that's indicative of Te hyperdivergence voila the Fi-Te axis. ISFPs very seldom like taking responsibility unless it's for a project they are pursuing independently then they can be very Ni tunnel visioned & perfectionist. I appreciate your speaking from experience & not reputable academic sources re the INFJ which is why you're conflating the two types. Cognitive INFJs don't feel responsible for how others feel; they divergent SeFe types yes they can logically deduce how someone might be feeling but they are much more of a passive observer. It's a ubiquitous behavioural stereotype that INFJs don't like friends mingling they're actually pretty consistent across the board. I think you offer good generic advice although it's not exclusively applicable to the cognitive INFJ. I do think you have quite a negative perspective of humanity in general however; most people are generally not as hostile. If anyone wants a 'masterclass' watch Cognitive Personality Theory on KZbin & the accompanying ebook/research.

[@michealcherrington6531]

Always believed normals and I were equal because we are ultimately the same. Wrong on both counts. Like a heard of cattle the normals are irrelevant and not the way. I am the way, my loyal tribe providing for me is the way. The rest of the natural world is resource to provide for the way. Not my rules just the rules.

[@2402zia]

What happened to your teeth ?

[@edwardmontinola2311]

Infj E.Q. is so high.they dont easily end up having an epic tuntrum.compared to other mbti personality traits.