What 2 Things do Codependency, Borderline Personality and cPTSD

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at: kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswhybQkwXotbMizh5DKu6KBs&si=CAjDNfnCJJXgWR9O ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@lexa9830]

Huge thank you to Dr. Snipes. I genuinely want you to know that you're amazing and that you're helping a lot of people including myself. I fall asleep listening to your videos, I listen at the gym, I listen to them on my 40 min drive to work, etc. Thank you for providing the information that many of us can't get since a lot of people can't afford therapy.

[@DocSnipes]

Awww. Ty so much ☺️☺️☺️

[@Portia620]

She’s a good teacher and this is a life saver!

[@tobsternater]

wow....I go to therapy....and STILL NEED these videos...so I get where you're coming at.

[@mariesmith5670]

You often can’t get this information and a lot of therapy either. Therapy is most often overrated unless you get someone who is really good.

[@seekyourneed]

it’s also really hard to unpack things with a therapist the way they need to be to correctly address or help with certain instances either. it also is rather difficult navigating the system that’s not helpful to many, currently anyways.

[@WeRNthisToGetHer]

This is all me 100% and I am aware of it and working on myself. I'm so grateful for these videos because many of us with this don't have the resources for professional help. This doesn't make up for one on one help from a personal Dr or counselor, but it does help fill in the gap when it's unavailable. Thank you so much for all of your videos! These are becoming go-to tools for me when I get my cptsd flare ups.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@FiberFairy22]

I love that you are getting help ❤️‍🩹 I wish my mom had found these videos so long ago and gotten help before these three conditions destroyed her brain into dementia 😢

[@lesleygarvs4640]

The bio-chemistry of the body also changes, which could translate into sugar cravings/addiction, or other addictions, so constantly helping the nervous system through alternative 'pacifiers' is a most, for example, b complex vitamins, high dosage of vitamins and minerals(50mg or more), hot bath with salt🛀, or in very cold countries sauna, massages, etc, as practically the nervous system has been trained to always feel triggered, always feel fear, creating negatives nervous reactions constantly... So much self love and self parenting🧘‍♀️🛀🧘‍♀️🙋‍♀️❤️🤗😁

[@GwaginGwagin]

This is a ton of information to go through but so well put together and informative. I only recently became aware that I have Co-Morbid BPD and high NPD traits, I only realized it through investigating why my now ex Gf acted so strangely during our relationship. After about three months of looking into the information it dawned on me through memories of my own past and current behaviors, that we both suffered from much of the same things unfortunately. The more I learn and the more I study, the more AH HA moments I've had and I'm through trying to figure her out because I believe I have. I'm now at the healing stage of figuring my own self out and why I do what I do and why I've treated people I loved the way I did all these years. It's a good and bad thing because now I feel alot more anxiety and guilt because I can't hide behind my instinctive disordered behaviors and have to deal with knowing I've acted so poorly to so many people. I'm now pausing and second guessing alot of what I do before I do it and scared to death I'll infect my kids with these awful disordered traits.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that. Guilt is anger at self. We all make mistakes. You have learned from your past and that is a big step in the right direction. What have you found most helpful from the video?

[@AliciaMuldowney]

May your journey be fruitful❤

[@billthelen6524]

Thank you so much Dr. Snipes for the work you do on these videos. They are very helpful tools both for myself and many others. I totally agree with both of these scenarios. My whole life has been dysfunctional from early on. I hid behind dysfunctional behavior just to survive. I have become the dysfunctional one of the family. I have begun to change for the better. 20 years ago, I went through the 12 step program and 12 years ago, I went through a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy skills course and therapy.

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome. Thank you so much for watching. I am glad you are on the right path. What is your favorite tip from the video?

[@AJ22-80]

Thank you for having the courage to do this Dr. Snipes, you are one of the first mental health providers willing to compare, not just try to distinguish and contrast these 3 conditions. In a perfect world, those in power (and writers of the DSM) will recognize these are not seperate conditions but fundimentally all trauma related and on a spectrum. And hopefully someday they will stop stigmatizing those diagnosed with BPD, get rid of that horrible "diagnosis" and provide proper care and compassion to people who more than likely suffered pretty severe trauma

[@DocSnipes]

Ty very much ☺️☺️☺️

[@DocSnipes]

Totally agree

[@billthelen6524]

I relate to both co-dependency and borderline personality disorder. The guilt, the emotional dis-regulation, the flashbacks, the feeling that I'm constantly on a fence, the self-abuse, even the fear of abandonment are symptoms that I deal with on a regular basis. I have skills of mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance that I have learned through DBT skills course. The daily log and the breathing exercises are skills that I have learned. Thank you for the reminder of the skills. My favorite mindfulness skills include observing, describing, and participating on my thoughts or feelings. I remember doing the log sheets while going through DBT therapy. Thank you so much Dr. Snipes for covering all the material you covered here.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for watching. What is your favorite tip from the video?

[@billthelen6524]

@@DocSnipes There are a number of tips that I find useful. Guided imagery and self-soothing my senses, I have found to be excellent distress tolerance techniques. I need to spend more time with my self and my inner child. Mindful journaling and emotional awareness are excellent skills to help.

[@mindysmith2087]

Thank you so much for the free content. This has been amazingly helpful.

[@DocSnipes]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!

[@tobsternater]

Dr Snipes...your videos are a light in the dark. thankyou. Your videos would keep coming up after I had subscribed but also done so to so many other channels as well. I first found it very hard to hear and listen to your work....now I don't think I can do without it. Your explanation of things around this topic is so helpful. Thankyou, thankyou so very very much!

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching!Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=CPTSD

[@Ravenwolf3311]

I intuitively understand all of this, including the neurological and neurolbiological aspects of it. I am a camp fire survivor, and it's utterly frustrating watching my community rebuild with little to know resources or understanding of trauma. It's effecting everything and everyone that I can see not all negative perse. I am not a professional just a lifer of trauma, with that said someone needs to intervene in my community.

[@DocSnipes]

So sorry for all your community has been through. Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@1stDoNoHarm63]

What you and your community suffered, and are suffering still, is for sure traumatizing. I wonder if the Red Cross or FEMA has resources to help? If you haven't already checked with them it might be a good place to start. I wish you the. From: One Trauma Survivor to Another. 🥰

[@tobsternater]

omg....a campfire survivor. Thinking of you. Your stress would be immense. Feeling alone at a campsite when it happened? Youre removed from help and assistance. You must have felt so alone! hugs...and healing love to you!

[@1stDoNoHarm63]

@@tobsternater poster and her community are survivors of THE "Campfire" fire in Northern California in...I think...2018. The whole town was wiped out. Devastating.

[@HomemakerDaze]

Thanks for validating why it's been hard for me to remember and learn things, because I'm constantly anxious I have the worst memory.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome! I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

[@margaretalwanda4443]

Breathing, the four square breathing technique is the first relaxation techniques and then the self hug. Point taken home!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing. May your day be awesome

[@margaretalwanda4443]

Wow, that's great counseling to me. A new skill and reminder here; it's ok to hug myself and it's therapeutic! Thanks.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Have a great day!

[@rocpeacelove3544]

Your content is rich!!!!!! I watch you daily I’m a LPC in Va and I love love love your content Thank you Thank you Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

Ty so much

[@hopehailey6988]

Thank you for hosting

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@zejewelzstanley]

You are my mental health hero! Truly these videos you make are a blessing to me. God bless you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and am also grateful for you being here and watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

[@zejewelzstanley]

@@DocSnipes The similarities between borderline and CPTSD and how they overlap. The advice you give is helpful and the insight into the illnesses are appreciated. I'm not codependent anymore but from what you explained in the video I can see the pattern I had with that issue in the past. The emotional aspect of BPD and CPTSD the way you explain it makes a lot of sense and explains the issues I have with them. The trauma has caused me more than a lifetime's worth of grief, but just watching your videos helps me grow and helps me see how and where I've changed and healed. I love how you approach each topic in your videos with compassion and understanding. Thank you so so very much!

[@hanaamr3685]

Wow thank you so much . Lots of love gratitude, and prayers from Egypt

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for joining from Egypt.

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

"Emotional regulation skills". You pegged it right there Doctor S! We are never taught this as children by our parents, let alone authority figures like teachers, doctors, guidance counselors, College Professors, n the psychiatrist or psychologist the dysfunctional parents take their dysfunctional children to. How can you heal the HPA axis when you seem to be the one with the emotional intelligence swimming in a pool of dysfunctional society? I may have tried raising my daughter n grandchildren to know emotions are healthy. To talk things out n be there to nurture them n support them through. Hell, I tried to be that child growing up telling my dysfunctional parents teachers guidance counselors...that emotions are healthy n need to be expressed not repressed or suppressed. But I've been shut up. I've made horrible mistakes myself as a parent, either living in narcissistic abusive marriages, or being emo dysregulated myself in a reactive state bc it seemed everyone was shutting us up or punishing n shaming us for emotions. I'm a 57-year-old woman now. I'm in sociology classes, DBT n CBT classes, n therapy learning these foundations for the last 4 years. I'm so dumbfounded that we are not taught that emotions are healthy pretty much anywhere!!! Even as a mother, trying to show my daughter, or abusive husband that emotions were healthy, or those parents, guidance counselor, doctors... as a child, I was still stifled n beaten down. I couldn't figure it out myself but I kept knowing thru my 57 years that emotional intelligence was mandatory living this life. 20 years running around with psychiatrists and psychologist, all diagnosing wrong, never asking appropriate questions, let alone foundations of our childhood. Skimming maybe 5 minutes worth of questions and boom that's it. Parenting is so dysfunctional anymore, that we've raised armies of Personality disordered people. This is the most unhealthy Society I have ever witnessed in my 57 years. The professional industry of counselors, coaches, psychologist, and psychiatrist, don't even know this information. I'm a once victim scapegoat who had codependent n reactive BPD traits from abuse n neglect. Now a survivor, and because of my want to find answers, and get the help I needed, I had to dig n dig on YT until I found things that matched the sense I had about emotional intelligence n regulation. I don't have fancy licenses or hundreds of thousands of dollars invested a college or university education. But I certainly know more about human behavior, and psychopathy between the codependent and the criminal minded, then most professionals do. I do not know one person on this planet, who doesn't have a messed up family, messed up neighbors, messed up friends, messed up marriages, messed up children, messed up bosses or coworkers, and who have the most horrific stories of just the struggle alone dealing with psychologists and psychiatrists, trying to figure what the f is going on in their own messed up lives of dysfunctional people. How can we find better solutions? Because I highly doubt a normal everyday person is going to even find your channel Doc. They will never even know to look for this terminology. The psychiatrists, psychologist, and counselors are all still using labels of depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar,.. And over medicating the hell out of the people seeking answers. We need a better way Doc. How can we educate our own counselors, doctors, teachers, and our very own professors, when you're still the peon who knows nothing, and theyre the experts stuck in Dunning Kruger but have a University degree to say they're right? That, I'd really like to know what the solution is?

[@absolutelyfookinnobody2843]

No one is gonna take you serious with that name. You seem like someone that is a know it all and is full of themselves

[@areuarealman7269]

Emotional regulation you mean pacify the assholes that caused the rage ?yeah f that I'm tired of banging my head into a wall my parents are toddlers with money .Basically if I'm good and wholesome and seeing a professional I'm OK but if I'm myself I'm a monster but above all I'm just real as my friend said too much hate I'm doomed too repeat myself because npds don't change .duh .

[@DavidAKZ]

How would you characterise religion with respect to BPD ?

[@Summer_Gold]

The saddest part is, ill-equipped people who aren't qualified to be good parents are popping children left and right.... And the smart empathetic ones choose not to bring a new life into this cruel evil world :) We're doomed. If only humans start breeding more responsibly.... Making kids is not for fun.... It's a life long selfless responsibility and not enough people are taking it seriously.

[@lesleygarvs4640]

I love the easy way you explain this, Dr Snipes! Crystal clear, thank you! 😁🤗❤️🙋‍♀️🧘‍♀️

[@DocSnipes]

🙂Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

The damage that parents do to their children is Criminal. Thus created a society of non-self accountable, non self-aware people in utter denial - ready to deny defensively, degrade, shame another, and then shift the blame onto someone else instead of themselves. They say parenting doesn't come with a handbook, but yet it should. It should be mandated to be taught in every classroom K through 12 into College and Universities. And every local government should be funding Human Resource Services to not only teach this, but educate everyone involved in those Human Resource Services. Because many times, the same behavior of the parent you are describing, is the same behavior of these managers and superiors in schools, in Human Resource Services, in universities, in your workplace, not only in your home.

[@DocSnipes]

Sadly, these things don’t get taught in school. We can only rely on people to share videos and spread the word. Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?

[@christinarichie6171]

They don't want a strong, critical thinking populace. No power to be gained and money to be made..

[@DavidAKZ]

Spot on.

[@Summer_Gold]

The saddest part is, ill-equipped people who aren't qualified to be good parents are popping children left and right.... And the smart empathetic ones choose not to bring a new life into this cruel evil world :) We're doomed. If only humans started breeding more responsibly.... Making kids is not for fun.... It's a life long selfless responsibility and not enough people are taking it seriously.

[@Summer_Gold]

As I often say, parenting and child making requires a legal license. I don't know how that's not implemented already. Too many emotionally, mentally, financially incapable abusive and drug addict parents on this planet. There's no damage you can do to another human being like parents can to a child. Nothing.

[@annnatterer4119]

Hi Dr. Snipes, really looking forward to this webinar!

[@herbzrgreen]

Thank you for your excellent work! Balance through Will of Compassion, to oneself then others 🙏🔥💚

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. What would you say was your favorite tip from the video?

[@moniqueabundance]

Great session. Appreciate you Doctor.

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@syzygy4365]

Wow!!! This was such an eye opener. Thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?

[@Ravenwolf3311]

Thank you Doc. Snipes.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@janhughes3118]

Hello it’s 4 am Thursday morning in New Zealand

[@bradywebb3430]

excellent info, highly valued, thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

Very welcome!

[@danielraypickrel4316]

Probably the content, practicing discomfort tolerance- - - -now.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD and kzbin.infosearch?query=dialectical

[@LilBrownieD]

this is all so spot-on

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you. I appreciate you watching the video

[@mariammahmoud5834]

You are doing an amazing job 👏thank you

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching the video

[@desertSHAMAN616]

Thanks for this 😊

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@clouddancer46]

Hi Dr. Curious if symptoms show up differently in males especially in BPD.

[@barbararussell2958]

Thank you for this information! Barbara Russell

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@cadebell1751]

Men are always the example in these issues yet it is women who by far do most actions to put men in reactive states along with their daughters. I do appreciate your explanations , it has helped me understand different aspects of my internal thoughts and nervous system. Currently identifying reactive , directive and interactive states in life.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching

[@cadebell1751]

@@DocSnipes I appreciate your help, this morning I was journaling about my interactive state vs inter reactive state with life and people, while working out , I work on reconnecting to my nervous system, this morning at the end of my workout, my daughter was reacting to something headed for My other daughter ( a fight was about ensue)I literally watched my nervous system sense it because of existing patterns of behaviors, this put my system into a inter reactive state. Had to do some work to calm down internally, cognitively switch to both directive and interactive state. My daughters and I are working on this understanding. I hope what I just stated made sense . thank you for all you do

[@nonononono8194]

Say you're a misogynist without saying you're a misogynist.

[@cadebell1751]

@@nonononono8194 thank you , evil cuteness appreciate the attempt , been a year , your statement was good reminder of the ground I have gained… look up the definition of the word … enjoy your day :)

[@farhiyaa4880]

this is so helpful.

[@rachellerockel]

So helpful, thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

This is very progressive! I like it. When you say "dysfunctional", I can see it now in terms of needs not getting met.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching this video as well, Kitty Kat. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=CPTSD

[@Prudenthermit]

Thank you 🙏

[@AngDevigne]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What have you found most useful from it?

[@TristineBarry]

Thanks Doc!!

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome.

[@gloriawatkins4131]

Well said honey..

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

[@13multipurpose]

Always helpful thanks

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome.

[@leahflower9924]

Make sure the kid doesn't add to any parent's stress yup that's a problem that's a set up for scapegoating and abuse if you're messed up don't have kids

[@wldncrzy1971]

Ohhh the dysfunctional other…in a house of 8 kids….and they’re shocked that I was the target of the dysfunctional other and that I’m a hot mess…😒 and now I’M a fixer…thanks ma. 🙄

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@FriendlyAC130Online]

I’m finding out a lot about myself in my first “relationship” he’s a fixer, I am… something. cptsd and quiet BPD have been the most similar to my patterns. I am fucked✌🏽 but I am gonna try therapy for the first time in my life which is scary.

[@Medietos]

Great stuff! Does it mean that one might heal without trauma therapy?It wouldn't surprise me with what I know. Might you work with me over Zoom? Once I manage to get the assistence promised. I have many good resources, just too distressed and aLonely to be able to use them. A psychologist just talked with me for 6½ years, never examining me, and believeing it was just a normal youth ID-problem. I'd like to live my lfe now..

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. I am currently not taking new patients. You can message [e-mail] and we can try to help you find a therapist in your area.

[@wendi2819]

​@@DocSnipes how kind of you. ❤️

[@JClass360]

Absolutely!

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@edgreen8140]

Off the cuff before listening. Alexythmia possible, identity diffusion, blame shifting.

[@EscanoLLC]

Dr. Snipes I am a typical ACA child, my mom was on drugs, raised by my grandparentls, definitely co-dependent and a people pleaser. Can you do a video segment on raising a foster child with the same background as me but she has the victim mentality, constantly lies, never takes responsibility for anything even when others catch her in the lie. She is almost 13, so ungrateful she can't even say thank you and downright evil most days. She has a low IQ and language disabilites. Menopause has been tough but dealing with this child is pushing me and my husband over the edge.

[@mapsdot9223]

There's an inherent paradox here. Codependency is a dysfunction. The idea of the 'dysfunctional other' is a bit odd choice of words.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@mapsdot9223]

I've learned trauma results in addiction to alleviate insecure attachment. Addictions can take the form of substances, behaviors or relationships. (Or any combination therein). Those that result in relationship addiction gravitate towards control (codependency) or affirmation (narcissism). These alloplastic defenses ultimately attempt to force the partner into an enmeshment/folie a deux where the traumatized child attempts to reverse parentify you in order to heal their abandonment trauma. I also learned the hard way that this condition is intergenerational and divorce caused my ex to engulf my oldest son. I am now reparenting my 19 yr old in addition his engagement in therapy and reintroduction into a faith community. There's a reason why God is portrayed as a good father and that through a relationship with a good parent we are 'transformed by the renewing of the mind'. Precisely because that's how developmental psychology works and through the exposure to less than good primary caregivers, we get wired for survival over curiosity. As Van der kolk shows, a brain wired from trauma is missing the connections that facilitate the sense of self and as a result shame forms as the motivating spirit to hide this lacking from others.

[@SailorGreenTea]

20:40, interesting

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

[@SailorGreenTea]

@@DocSnipes 20:27, me many mangers in western culture create this situation making me earning difficult.

[@allaboardthegravytrain5987]

39:55

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?

[@candyginger6523]

ESQ

[@scottthomas5819]

Coolness

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@janhughes3118]

Dr Snipes you are describing me to a T. Flat or sunarmis

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@raymorris2141]

Women rely on relationships more than men 🤖

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@johndeal4381]

Do you know if a compression fracture in the spine can be surgically repaired? Just sneaking that in to throw you off before the show starts.

[@lorraineamico42]

Thank you your the best I studied on utube helped me alote on COVID these last three years ❤ @lorraineamicothemakeupartist

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you wanting!