What a patients death taught me

Is death beautiful, how can we better understand and relate to something that everyone will experience or has experienced at a time in their life?
When dealing with any medically related events or medical emergencies, please communicate with your primary health care provider.
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[@jugheadjones5458]

I am a preacher’s kid so I got taken to a lot of funerals even before I started school. I have never been scared of funerals nor being around bodies. In my opinion children should be exposed to death so that they don’t fear it, understand it, and respect the process of dying and funerals. I’ve seen adults who were extremely afraid of being around bodies at funeral homes. I don’t criticize them but wonder if their anxiety would have been less if they had been exposed to death and funerals at an early age. I talked to many of them, to try and comfort them, and most if not all, said they were sheltered from death as children. I like the 2 stories you shared!

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thank you! And couldn't agree more!

[@karenlbellmont6560]

I remember my first funeral my grandmother took me to as a child; can't remember exact age, but it was younger than ten years easily. She dragged me to the coffin and I was petrified; I felt so bad, that was my first experience with human death. Now at 58yrs young, I've seen a lot.

[@jugheadjones5458]

@@karenlbellmont6560 I’m sorry your first time was traumatic!

[@HunnyBearSugaBear]

I think it depends how your loved one passed also and what they would want. I serve in my church and have helped with funerals. Sometimes you can't see your loved one because you can't recognize them and how do you let your children see that? I don't feel it's being sheltered in that way. Also some people want to remember them when they were living. You are blessed to have grown up the way you did but some of us have not.

[@aliciaholland3308]

I watched my cousin die in a car wreck I was 16 he was 19 my family thought it would help me to go to his viewing mind you this was my first funeral and really the first person so close to me who had passed and I will say it was not a good experience. He obviously didn’t look the same, my aunt his mom was upset obviously, but in that moment she was upset because his hair was not fixed the way he wore it so my other aunt ran her hands through his hair quickly trying to in a very small way help. It was all so traumatic and horrible this was in 1992 and I still think about him, that night a lot. My poor aunt is still grieving hard, but one cannot imagine loosing a child.

[@Hootncozy]

Watching my mother die was hauntingly beautiful. Watching her pass and no longer be trapped by her body, gave me a peace I didn’t think I would feel.

[@gyptess4794]

As a health care provider of 30 years, I have been present for the birth of babies and for the death of many of my patients. I personally feel that no one should die in a room all alone, so I would sit them, if I could. I also have 2 children of my own. From my experience, it seems to me that it is a lot of work to birth a baby into this world and it can also be a lot of work to birth the soul from the body, into heaven, or wherever you believe the soul goes, when it leaves the physical body. Both can be a lot of hard work.

[@hospicenursejulie]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@sf4432]

I have heard from several people who seemed to wait until there loved ones once left their room and then they could die. Perhaps there are people who prefere to go in absolute calme and without people around they can let go easier?

[@robyngrogan7647]

Thank you for being there for all of these people.

[@EarlJohnson-wm4bb]

God Bless you

[@andrewjoyce9038]

My mother died of cancer 3 months ago 4 weeks after my father died. She was supposed to have a few more days. We didnt know she had cancer till a week before she died. Well i got a text from my sister telling me she wasnt well. So i rushed to the hospital along with my other siblings and she was doing the death rattle and staring up to the ceiling. We all sat around her telling her how much we loved her. She passed 5 minutes after i got there. It was heartbreaking. The night before she was watching tv in her hospital bed. I'll never forget the moment she passed away as i held her hand. My father died on his own with my brother holding his hand

[@jugheadjones5458]

I’m happy for you that you were there in the last minutes. Both of my parents died just before we could get to them and I wish we had been there.

[@andrewjoyce9038]

@@jugheadjones5458 thanks. I missed my father's Death as I had spent 20 hours with him. Went home to have a shower and my sister came to my room to tell me he had passed. I was devastated. I'm glad I was there for my mother. I'm so sorry u missed your parent's passing

[@jugheadjones5458]

@@andrewjoyce9038 thank you too. With my parents it was about like your experience. We had spent long hours with them, went home to sleep or freshen up and they died in that period. The peace though, is that they were both ready to go to their eternal life with the Lord. Mom died 12 years before Dad and he was her caregiver for decades. She had MS. He wanted to die to be with her.

[@andrewjoyce9038]

@@jugheadjones5458 that's a nice thought thankyou

[@mjeanhibbs3272]

I'm so extremely sorry for your loss of both your mom and dad!! I didn't make it to my dad before he passed and still have a hard time about that (1 because mom wouldn't allow us to talk to him about his illness and 2 because my sibling had already been there but none of them called me to advise). When my mother passed, it was hard but I was there with her!! God bless you and prays for you

[@MargueriteMontes]

I spent the last two years caring for a childhood friend. His cancer spread to his spine. He was bed bound for the last four months of his life. I managed to get him into a hospice here in Sydney Australia for those last months, I couldn't care for him at his home anymore. I moved into the hospice with him for the last four days of his life. I watched him struggle against death. He wanted so much to live. He was placed under palliative Sedation which basically rendered him catatonic. He suddenly came to at around midnight. He was lucid and clear and very present. I sat with him holding his hand, breathing with him and thanking him for being my friend and teaching me unconditional love. He smiled, took his last breath and died at around 4 am. I didn't get the nurses. I just got in my cot bed next to his bed and slept for a couple of hours as I was exhausted. The morning shift came in and woke me to tell me what I already knew. It was indeed a beautiful death. Not unlike supporting someone through birth. I am eternally grateful for the experience. Also, watching your youtube clips hospice nurse Julie, you have helped me to prepare for my friend's passing. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us. Respect

[@nathanielovaughn2145]

Your friend was amazingly blessed to have your friendship. What a beautiful time, though you miss him. Cheers from the states.

[@MargueriteMontes]

@@nathanielovaughn2145 thank you.

[@jugheadjones5458]

Your love and care for your friend is more than commendable. Thank you for telling your story. It’s inspirational!

[@MargueriteMontes]

@@jugheadjones5458 he was alone in the world. I loved him dearly. It was the least I could do.

[@jugheadjones5458]

@@MargueriteMontes and it was a lot. What you did should not be minimized. God bless you!

[@willieboy3011]

Death is the great equalizer, the great unknown, and the great adventure.

[@yettykitty4893]

Julie, not only have you been blessed with the gift to care for the dying and help loved ones through the process, but you’ve also been blessed with the ability to communicate so many stories to all of us who watch your channel. It’s not only what you say; it’s how you say it. Your delivery of endless stories and educational videos about dying have helped millions of us with being prepared, and with the grieving process. I can’t thank you enough

[@KNorrisNC]

I found your channel recently. My dad has been living with Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinson’s for the last few years. This past Saturday at 3:38 he passed away. I am an only child so it was just myself and my dad. He went into the actively dying stage on Thursday afternoon. Because of your videos I recognized that. I was able to be with him in the hours leading up to his last breath on Saturday and I was scared before I got there. When I walked through the door (he has been in assisted living for a few years also) and saw him I became calm and started talking to him to let him know that it was ok that he needed to leave his broken body and that I would be fine not to worry about leaving me. I told him I loved him and thanked him for being a great dad for all my life. I just talked about the things we had done in the past and still every few minutes telling him it’s ok to let go. He died peacefully and I was there to hold his hand and tell him I loved him as he left. I want to thank you for talking about this and doing these videos because had I not found them I’m not sure I could have done it like I did. Understanding the process is a game changer me. Thank you so much.

[@kathleenpersson589]

My companion of 26 years also lived some years with Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson’s his passing was very rapid…. And extremely peaceful. I remember with such happiness the thousands of times we said to one another “Love you lots!” I am so glad you were with your father, and your loving words helped both of you transition in the “journey”.

[@rose-zj5zv]

I have been present at both my parents passing and my Grandfather. We are Christian. I think it was a lovely experience.❤ All three were peaceful and we had some very special spiritual moments ❤️

[@que-stead-que1717]

I love your channel. This video reminds me of my Mother’s death in 2020. I was her caregiver for her remaining 7 years after she was left bedridden from a stroke. Her kidneys failed shortly after and she needed dialysis 3 times a week. I attended dialysis with her. She had an ash catheter port because one arm was useless and the other had collapsing veins. Near the end her port failed and her dialysis was suspended. She went into hospice that evening. She lived for 45 days after the suspension. We were told about the active dying phase and knew to call once it began. On the day that she passed, she had been sleeping for the full week before. She was still sleeping and breathing normally. My Sister and I were tending to her as usual and I had just taken her vitals which were normal. My Sister then washed her face, and swabbed her mouth. She proceeded to begin brushing her hair. After a few strokes, she said to me that she didn’t think that she was breathing. I said no way because I had just taken her vitals 5 minutes before and she was fine. I put the blood pressure cuff on her and the pulse ox thing that you place on the finger. She was gone in the blink of an eye. No active phase that we had waited for. Once the Hospice Nurse arrived, she proceeded with the protocol in order to pronounce her death. Nothing was ordinary as she checked her feet, and other things to look for that I can’t recall. Finally, she said to me that I may want to turn my head because she would need to open her eyes to check her pupils. I didn’t want to miss anything and watched. Yes she had passed and her eyes were staring straight ahead. I’ll never forget how it happened in such a merciful and beautiful manner. I had seen two deaths prior that were totally different.

[@hospicenursejulie]

💗💗💗💗

[@rickschwab8270]

I love that you are spreading the knowledge that none of us know we need. Keep on keeping on.

[@teachersusan3730]

I sat with my dying grandmother the whole day. Her last sentence was „I don‘t want to die“. She had been bed ridden for months after a stroke. However after that sentence she closed her eyes and her face looked as if she was concentrating on something very hard. Then she relaxed and her breathing got slower and slower. It was even difficult to tell when she took her last breath. Her face was very peaceful and beautiful. She died in my parents‘ home, my young sons and our dog around her. She died in the middle of family life. My kids loved her to bits and took her passing in their stride. Nothing horrible about it. I will never forget the peace I felt sitting by her bed. I loved my grandma very very much. She was a beautiful woman and lived to be 93.

[@clarencejacksonjr.]

I remember the day before my mother passed the hospital called me around 6 am and told me that my mother wasn't responding to them. They said if I came she might would respond. When I got to the hospital her doctor told me that her organs were shutting down and if I wanted him to he could give her more blood since she was low. I asked him if he gave it to her would it make her better. He said no. I told him to give the blood to someone who could benefit from it. Then I asked him if I could go in her room and be alone with her. The staff closed the door and I asked her if she wanted to go to be with Jesus. She wasn't talking at that point so I asked her to squeeze my hand if she did. She squeezed my hand as hard as she could. I told her to go ahead, she was a great mother to me, she raised me well and we (my siblings, nieces, and nephews) would be fine. I stayed with her all night reading the Bible to her. Around 7 am I went to the lounge so the nurses could take care of her. The nursing supervisor came and told me my mother was leaving at that time and if I wanted to see her before she left. By the time I got to her room I looked at her and said "She's gone, isn't she." They said yes. I felt she didn't want me to see her leave to spare my feelings.

[@carolfrancis6737]

That's exactly how my dad's death was. We cacooned him as well. It was a beautiful time.

[@BubbleBurster-nv1vl]

IMO, what I find saddest about death, besides the obvious is when no one cares about the person and they depend on the kindness of strangers to care for them in dying. The other scenario, is when it often takes the person's coming death, for people to come together, put aside differences, quarrels, disappointments, grudges that they held against the dying person, that they held while the person was healthy. Life is precious. Life is just a vapor. Forgive those that have wronged you and enjoy them in life and not have regrets. What this hospice nurse described should be what everyone should experience as they transition on. I know that wishful thinking but it would be the ideal. Death is not something to fear depending on what you believe in.

[@sailingsoulmate7551]

My parents are 86 & 88, both have advanced dementia and live with me, and my mom just went on hospice. Thank you, Julie for preparing me for what's to come. I love them dearly and I'm hanging on to whatever time is left, but aquainting myself with the dying process (thanks to you) has helped me not fear it so much. You've also helped me get them ready to go. Thank you.

[@Kimberlyanne-uu7yu]

Boy, your hands are full. God bless you, and remember to take care of yourself too. That's a lot of work for you to manage.

[@neverland606]

Omg. When my dad was dying we all thanked him for everything. That we all loved him so much. Told him it was ok to go and to go see my mom. That we would all be fine. No tears shed around him. I was blessed to be holding his hand during his last breath. My son considered him as his dad. He drove 8 hours with his son who was also named after my dad. The morning that they got there he was so thrilled to really see his great grand son. He passed early that evening. I miss my dad so much and my mother had been cremated ( her wishes) . We placed her era in the casket with my dad. Holy crap I'm crying. Bitter sweet tears.

[@kathit122]

Julie I recently found you on KZbin I've watched a lot of your videos and learned alot how you explain everything is so understandable I just lost my dear mother in law a few days ago she was 97 years old I've referred to your videos and understood the stages of dying I was there as she took her last breathe without your videos I would not of known what I saw was normal I hope I'm explaining myself correctly thank you for being there for me during this so very sad time when I lost my mother in law. God bless you always ❤❤

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thank you for being here 💗💗

[@user-ek7uq4vu6f]

My husband died peacefully. I thanked him for sharing that sacred time.

[@bradr2142]

I'll decide you are an angel. I was one pf the first to see your yt Chanel. I couldn't believe it. I lost 2 brother's in 5 days apart. What a spiritual experience. My mom said god ripped a hole in her heart. I said yes me too but im choosing to leave the hole open dont ever try to close it because thats where god lives inside us. She paused and said yes. No stories just watch the hole. So spiritual what a experience.

[@patriciaharris1711]

I just want to Thank you, hospic nurse, Julie. For a few months, your videos came up on my phone and I kept deleting them. One day I decided to watch one because I was interested in seeing what my mother went thru. I started watching more and more and didn't know why God wanted me to see them. 3 months ago, My husband went from talking and getting ready to eat, to going to the hospital with a major stroke. Everything, everything you said in your videos you showed prepared me to see and reconize the whole process of death and dying. I stayed calm, and God allowed me to witness everything. It was hard, sad, and beautiful, all at the same time. I was able to hold his hand and watch his journey and his season come to pass. If it weren't for you, I would have missed the beauty. Thank you again for helping me thru it

[@jamiestanley9234]

That is truly beautiful 🩷

[@jenniferjager6259]

It reminds me a bit of the animal world (elephants, camels, cows, etc.) when a member of the herd dies, everyone gathers around the dying animal until it has taken its last breath. Everyone is there, young and old. I've always found that very moving to see. Thank you for sharing those stories. ❤

[@mallardtheduck406]

Those were beautiful stories. Today the 15th, in 2015, My Mother Passed away from Sepsis...it was not the way I wanted her to die. It was tragic, I Am Empty, and heartbroken, she was my best friend. I told the story, on one of your message boards. Thank You for removing the stigma of death, we are all going to die someday, and we need to face that journey when it comes. May God Bless & Keep You!!!

[@carolinekinney2364]

In 1999 Oct. my husband’s father was dying and my husband had to get to the hospital since we lived 4 states away. Rushing to get he walks in the room where his sister, brothers and mother were around dad’s bed. As soon as my father in law saw that his youngest son had arrived, he took a few breaths and died. Can a person actually hold off dying to say goodbye to his family? It seemed that day that he had. Ty for your stories nurse Julie. I have always respected doctors and nurses and anyone who works in the healthcare field. Nurses get the closest to the patients since they give most of their care. I wanted to be a nurse. I worked as a cna at 19 for a convalescent home. They had people as young as 19 from car accidents and much older. The things I saw broke my heart and I couldn’t do it anymore.

[@pegs1659]

I've heard many times someone will wait on a loved one before they die.

[@suzettejohnson9428]

Very true my 92 year old Daddy was waiting for me...he fell into a coma on Wednesday morning in my home state of Florida, by Friday he was discharged to hospice care home I was finally able to get a flight out from PA arriving at 11am Sunday to the hospice he passed peacefully at 8pm with me holding his hand until his last breath. I was the youngest of his daughters and he had raised me( I'm from his second marriage) so him and I were very close... he didn't get the same opportunity with his children from his first marriage...They can , do and will hold on until the person they await arrives ~

[@wolfandhoundh.a.e]

Sometimes God will send angels in the most unexpected ways, in ways we would never expect❤

[@vibrationalwarrior1940]

Also, when trees lose their leaves and they turn all kinds of beautiful colors as they are dying! It is beautiful to watch the leaves on the trees die, as it is with everything that makes it's transition ❤

[@theophany150]

I would LOVE to work in a hospice. I guess it does take a certain kind of person, though, to connect with dying patients and inspire confidence in family members, etc., and I am not sure I have that gift. I am very death positive and would enjoy experiencing it alongside the patients, even though I know it is not always as beautiful as we would hope.

[@vikkiledgard8483]

Hi 🥰 From how you have written your comment, I would suggest that you do, in fact, have the gift/talent/characteristics/personality to be able to do the work of a hospice nurse. Indeed, you seem like the very kind of person the profession would be looking for! Perhaps it might be something that you could investigate further? I hope you get to wherever you want to be 🥰🥰♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@theophany150]

@@vikkiledgard8483 I am sorry, I didn't mean to mislead. I am retired, and I was never a nurse, just a paramedic. I'm not even a paramedic anymore though because I let my licensure lapse. I imagine there might be semi-skilled or unskilled jobs I could do there though?

[@Tracywhited2]

It is a precious thing to behold. I'll never unsee or unfeel my husband's last breath.

[@leannbasil8231]

Same girl. It's been 15yrs and I still remember every...single...detail. I had to sign to remove mine from life support after a car wreck. Hardest decision of my life especially us only being 23.

[@KT-zx9jr]

From all the books on NDES, religious books, and recent show After Death, it all seems to be the next phase of life. We lose our older bodies and move on....

[@jacobus57]

NDE's are only that; NEAR death experiences. Dead is dead.

[@bethhelton3923]

On near death experiences, as one just said, they are not dead, once dead we don't come back. All this about a beautiful death is simply not the case in many . Death is final, birth is life. No way are they the same. I don't know what happens to the soul at death, only God knows. Life is precious and brief, cherish each day while alive. Judgement awaits us all after death.

[@Kimberlyanne-uu7yu]

He was ready. We all need to feel like we leave on our own terms.

[@robinthornton8282]

I agree that death in the right circumstances can be as beautiful and mysterious as birth. The transition of the patient is amazing to observe and be a part of.

[@SageWhite-Rose]

Life is BEAUTIFUL!!! , SO is DEATH!!! You help us to see both sides. Thank you Julie. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@allieeverett9017]

Tears in my eyes and my throat. You are the perfect person to do what you do Julie. It's your gift. Your blessing.

[@paulfilla1008]

Your channel helps me be less afraid of the dying process.

[@nautaciousnat]

My mum passed away 2 months ago and this is really helping me work through my grief. Thank you 😊

[@renepena3024]

The benefits of a good hospice nurse are invaluable. I've dealt with a few during the death of my mom, grandmother, and husband. I greatly regret the one I had the day my husband died. Good hospice nurses ARE angels and my deepest gratitude goes out to you.

[@madisonkliewer]

I watch these videos because I'm scared to death of dying. This was one of the best channels I found in 2023.

[@BaadleaBeedleBop]

You are so right. I am a hospice worker and have been privileged to attend the moment of passing for several souls. Every one of them was sacred and beautiful. Death is painful, but it is nothing to be afraid of.

[@sueholte451]

Julie, that was sacred and so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤

[@tod3msn]

I saw my grandmother have a massive stroke which was something I'll never forget. It was tough to see but it gave me a perspective on death that has helped me in life. As for death being beautiful, well, I understand why people say that and I respect that point of view. For me, death is not great and it stinks but it is a natural part of life and it is ok too. It is what it is and in the long run it is necessary and a part of life.

[@rktbnelson]

As a Hospice nurse, I have felt so much love and compassion with families at the patient's side. It's an honor and a privilege to be there with them

[@Sam-qt5ff]

My grandma visited me in a dream. He told me that birth is hard, and so is death. It hurts to come into the world and it hurts to leave the world. In this dream, he showed me that all the edema of his legs was gone. He was happy and giggling with someone. In this dream he was sitting on a couch with a woman. My grandma is still alive. I knew it wasn’t her. But I couldn’t quite figure out who the woman was. The following evening, I heard news that my grandmothers very best friend had died the same night I had the dream. I hardly knew the woman. But once I heard she had died, I knew it was her. I’ve never been touched more by anything in my life. It is absolutely amazing and beautiful. I’m an LPN working rural so I do a little bit of ER, unit work and palliative. A taste of literally everything from childbirth to death. I understand 1000% what you mean by death and birth being similarly beautiful. Similar to how the nurses gather when a baby is born, when someone is dying they also gather.

[@cbg409]

I have been with 4 people when they died. When I was 23 our second little boy passed away at 13 1/2 months. He had a rare liver disease (biliary atresia). My husband and I were next to him. I was with my cousin a few years ago when her husband passed away from diabetes/kidney failure. I miraculously "happened" to be there, so she wasn't home alone when he passed. I was sitting next to my mother when she passed away 6 years ago, after a 10 day hospice vigil in her home. (Sepsis caused by an infection in her foot.) I was with my Dad a year and a half ago when he passed away after breaking his hip. I feel like it was a great blessing to be with each of them at such a sacred time. Their deaths were peaceful, though following illnesses (some long) and injuries. I'm very grateful to have been there.

[@nuplanner5345]

Planning to study to be a death doula in retirement. This is important work.

[@hospicenursejulie]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@nuplanner5345]

Your videos support my decision. ❤️

[@nathanielovaughn2145]

That's brilliant! I suppose the day will come when I have to "retire" (thinking 72 ish), but have often feared that time, wondering what I would do afterwards as I don't ever want or plan to RETIRE until my own death, so being a death doula sounds like something well worth exploring. All the best to you and thank you for the inspiration.

[@catherinerose1607]

@@nathanielovaughn2145 I feel the same. Retirement does not appeal to me either. I can understand why people look forward to it though.

[@nuplanner5345]

@@nathanielovaughn2145 💛😁

[@carolmartin4413]

Funny how you can be prepared for your own death but struggle when it's people you love. I've never felt anything but devastation losing them.

[@hospicenursejulie]

Yes yes yes 💗💗💗. It's so hard to lose others

[@jm7804]

Eventually it does give way to happy memories. But it is very difficult in the beginning. Tragic loss is the worst of the lot. It seems as if the scars will never heal.

[@NanaP217]

I am a hospice nurse for 8 years. The death I will never forget is an elderly male with heart failure. He was transitioning a couple of days before my last visit. I called his wife, she said he’s asleep in the recliner and I can’t wake him. When I arrived he looked so bad skin color looked like concrete, snoring respirations, unresponsive. Asked his son to help me lift him to the bed. First I gave him morphine moved his bed beside the recliner, we lifted him up and over to bed. He was so sweaty asked wife for another gown and I got some warm water and rinsed him off, put the gown on him covered him with a sheet with arms out. I went to kitchen to draw Ativan. I walked back to his bedside and saw his last breath. A few seconds later he had a pink /red glow from his skin and a big smile. I had never seen that. I was so happy his family saw that change also instead of the color before. I have never seen that color again on anyone. He was a very spiritual man he had bible study each day after breakfast, I believe the angels took his soul and left us a beautiful body of a man of Christ . I like telling this story a beautiful death.

[@JeanineDeal]

I recently completed training to become a Sacred Pet Death Doula and agree 100%. Death can be very sacred, and a spiritually transformational experience for everyone involved. Thank you for sharing your stories!

[@andrewwye1058]

Much appreciate your Channel - important stuff. - My father in his 99th year currently into care for the past year. Vascular dementia onset since the jabs prior to which he was on zero meds and still up and about to the shops. Visiting the care home regularly and seeing him and the others I am frequently hoping he would ask me to arrange a trip to Switzerland for him before he reaches the point at which someone else will be wiping his bottom for him. He has never talked about dying/death and shows no desire to do so now. I have never been able to have any kind of existential conversation with him. He still thinks he is around the 55-60 yr mark when he was remarkably fit (he has always had extraordinary health and fitness). It’s not a cheap care home. The money is not the issue, his attitude to an inevitable, demoralising, undignified, fearful, self-important demise is. This, of course, is my issue. I would be grateful for your feelings and thoughts. Thanks.

[@LamikaBarton]

From my personal experience I can’t really say yes or no. My mom passed on 12.15.23 from pancreatic cancer. She was under hospice care but to be completely honest we didn’t have the best support. My mom passed in her sleep and I woke up finding her unresponsive. My mom did look like she was sleeping and would wake any minute but she never did. To this day I do have some anger and resentment that hospice didn’t fully prepare me for those finally days/hours. I’m glad I was my mom’s caregiver and got to spend those last months with my mom 😢

[@hospicenursejulie]

Oh man- I'm so sorry- thank you for being there and HERE 💗💗💗💗

[@AquariusBeam]

We didn't have a great hospice experience either. We struggled so much trying to change my mom's disposable pants and sheets because she had a surgically repaired broken pelvis and couldn't get up. Finally a new hospice nurse inserted a catheter, something that should been done day one. It would've made my mom so much more comfortable and eliminated so much of the physical care for us. I'd never do hospice again unless we had a very experienced nurse. We couldn't have known who our nurse would be. She was a previous ortho nurse and had no hospice experience.

[@LamikaBarton]

@@AquariusBeam So sorry to hear about your experience. It’s weird because you hear so many beautiful hospice stories but I have none. I learned a lot by trial and error and would definitely recommend everyone really doing your research before deciding on a hospice service.

[@LamikaBarton]

@@hospicenursejulie Thanks nurse Julie. You really helped me a lot throughout the journey more than you will ever know 💜

[@Hootncozy]

I am so sorry. ❤ My heart goes out to you. My Mom was on pallative care. She went on it for 7hrs then she was gone, she passed on the 28th of December. Sending you so much love.

[@francesmariaromolo]

Do you ever have patients who are dying alone? Those that have no family and friends. How do you help them to die without them being afraid?

[@leahgannon5030]

Thank you for sharing this video 👩🏼👍🏼🌹

[@01splitpea]

Time to compile your stories into a book, Julie. I believe you'll be a wealthy woman should you ever decide to do it. 💜🥰

[@mattneal5257]

Thank you for doing these videos and sharing. I had a medical issue recently and made me realize I am really terrified of death. I am 49 years old and these videos are helping me. I have been really struggling with this anxiety. Thank you for posting

[@sherylbartlett3871]

Thank you Julie for these two beautiful stories. God bless...

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thank you for being here

[@mattottie6410]

Your doing great work, thank you, matt

[@hospicenursejulie]

💗💗💗

[@user-jg5pq4yn5r]

I think that is beautiful. I fail to understand why we as humans wait till our loved ones are dying to tell them beautiful sweet loving things. We could acknowledge each other everyday through our life & living.

[@remcobrattinga1]

Hey Julie, I love the things that you show and tell here. It is so important for anyone (everyone) to see it and to think about. It gives both life and death the purpouse wich I think counts for every humon on earth. I want to rhank you and I will continu following you. 🌹 Remco (Holland)

[@vibrationalwarrior1940]

My Sister just made her transition and YOU helped me so much through the process. Yes, death is beautiful, simply because there is no death. We are energy and you can not kill energy and that is scientifically proven. Also, YES YOU ARE AN ANGEL! Don't downplay who you are! You are an extention of Source energy, you are God force in human form, as we all are! So YOU ARE AN ANGEL 😇

[@Prindad]

It's been fifteen years since my Dad passed away in a hospice here in Ontario, Canada. Such a wonderful, peaceful place, and he was a wonderful man. He was so physically strong, (and mentally), even after years of cancer. We knew when it was time to bring him in, and it was what he wanted (always put our family first and a big organizer) he was going through a week of very entertaining visions (incredible, wonderful invisible people coming in and out of the room who he introduced us to). Though we are Catholics, like many of our faith it was more cultural than religious for us, and towards the end my Dad came briefly out of his visions, just long enought to say to me: "I'm not afraid to die, Dave. I don't believe there is anything after this, but there's nothing to be afraid of." What a generous gift to give your son, and I mean that without the hint of sarcasm. Even in the end, and who knows what comes later, he wanted to give me words of comfort. I have to tell you though, those visions restored my faith, lol. Once he got into hospice they expected him to last awhile, because he just looked so damn healthy (and pretty good too, I might add, big good looking Canadian guy). We expected to be visiting him there for awhile, so didn't feel pressed for time. But, the day after he went in, I was working and I just had this feeling that I needed to see him. I went in in the afternoon, and the room was so quiet and peaceful and full of love, (like he liked), and my Mom was sitting there knitting and smiling at me as I entered; just the two of them, and my aunt and uncle had been in earlier. I spoke briefly to my Mom, said hi to my Dad, and then he did something physical that let me know he had just died. A had been a homicide detective for many years at that point, and I just knew. The hospice nurse came in, after I pressed the buzzer (lovely lady) and comforted my mother as I started making the calls to devastated family members, (moment of honesty, I was absolutley devasted, but I am my father's son and I did as he did for us so many times before, and was strong for everybody else. That's called honouring your father. No complaints). Anyway, long story coming to and end, the nurse asked my mother if there was someone my father was particularly close to and she pointed to me. The nurse nodded and told my mother that people will often wait to hear "that someone's" voice before they pass, (how self-centred of me, I know, but if it's true I'm happy for my father). Then she said something curious to my mother, in reference to me: she said, "He's seen a lot of death, hasn't he?" How strange, I thought, and how true. Was it that obvious? Over the years, my father has come to me whenever I need him; I believe. My grandson's talk about him all the time, though they never met him, because I do. They think of him as their protector too, from heaven. A little spooky on this last thing, but my youngest grandson used to say he could see him, when he was around 2 years old. So, thanks hospice nurses, and thanks Dad. I'm not afraid, whether you were right or wrong, but you know that. Just thought I'd share this. Hope it might let you know how appreciated you are, and if it gives someone else comfort, thank my Dad. :) David

[@mollytremblay1396]

Thank you so much for your videos. Somehow I find the very encouraging.

[@user-vb5jq2iu3t]

We need to be educated so were not surprised and actually know what to expect. Thank you for all you do for us Julie❤ those stories were awesome

[@kcj6236]

Your first story is similar to what happened when my cousin passed last Thursday on hospice. He was a reclusive person who struggled in silence for so long, but none of his family wanted him to die alone. We all gathered around him and held his hands, told him we loved him, and stayed until the very end. It was sad, of course, but it was such a powerful moment; an act of pure love.

[@vikkiledgard8483]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@mark70s29]

Is it true a person can clinically die but still be aware for a few minutes after?

[@mark70s29]

@@bathemeinchampagne thank you for your reply:)

[@01splitpea]

Both beautiful stories well told by a beautiful soul. Thank you, Julie. You're finally normalizing the inevitable. We can be sad for the family, yet at the same time celebrate the relocation of the soul. 🥰 💜

[@deanhockenberry9268]

I love you educating people about a subject most people”e would rather avoid. I’m so thankful we were part of many family funerals growing up. Death is not scary but rather something we all face and because of my beliefs it will be welcomed.

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thank you 💗

[@momlikesmemore]

Thank you Julie, you helped me be with my friend (she was a nurse) while she was in her final days. Over the course of 17 days she would be “awake” at times, asleep at time and unconscious at times. On the days she was awake I thank her for her friendship and for all the love and care she gave others, she would smile. Some days we watched Grey’s Anatomy, she would point to a scene and try to say something that I suspect she recognized. Two days before she passed we listened to some music and watched Mamma Mia. Before I left she gave me a big smile. Two days later she left us.

[@Ragdollz]

My mom passed away a month ago, my dad a year ago. My dad had over a month to prepare for his death. It was very emotional, as he called all the people he had loved throughout his life and thanked them for being a part of his life. It was lots of phone calls of tears. His vocal cord was paralyzed so I many times had to interrupt for him. We spent hours talking about how much we loved each other. I can remember vividly sitting on his floor like it was yesterday, me crying hysterically and looking up at him sitting in his chair, such bawling saying “i can’t lose you dad, I just can’t”. He was and still is my everything. It’s almost like my dad and I were tied at the soul in some weird way. We didn’t even need to talk, we always knew what each other was thinking. Even a small facial movement, I could tell you what he was thinking about. All I can say… His passing was beautiful in the sense he was able to close every door that was left open. He was able to make peace with everything and everyone, letting everyone know how important they were. My mom’s passing on the other hand, felt so out of the blue. Like I just want 5 minutes with her to tell her everything I want, and her to tell me everything she wanted. I know she loved me with all her heart and she knows I loved her.. it was just very different.

[@brittanytidwell1754]

I’ll never forget standing there holding my papas hand he was my only father figure, it was jsut my cousin and I in the room, each holding one of his hands and spent the whole night just thanking him for everything he’s done for us. Telling him how much we loved him. What a great papa he’d been to us and our kids and that we’d never let our kids forget him. That story brought tears to my eyes. My papa had internal bleeding so I got a call out of nowhere late at night to rush to the hospital and as hard as it was I’ll always be grateful for that opportunity to say my I love you and thank you’s and it’s gonna be okays. It is so bitter sweet. It’s hard to do and at the time I was almost wishing I was anywhere but in that room because nobody wants to see their loved one in such a state but I’m truly grateful for the opportunity to say our peace. My grandmother we didn’t get that chance and again as hard as it was knowing we were saying goodbye, I wish i could have told my grandma all the things I got to tell my papa.

[@benjamintingkahhin1363]

Yes, death can arrive in a magical way! Especially when there happens to be one way or the other signals one may receive that only an intimate relationship exists between the living and the deceased that can somehow discern its meaning after the separation of life and death! Thanks. This is a very special episode to dignify this sacred moment phenomena! Usually untold and forgotten by watchers-by.

[@gillypend]

Your descriptions are amazing Julie. As a Christian I truly believe that there’s ‘a time to live and a time to die’ and it should not be frightening, particularly when the person dying is peaceful and pain-free and knows where they are going. That’s not always the case though, but the fact that you speak so eloquently and knowledgeably about how the body *knows* how to live and die, makes it so much more understandable and acceptable. It’s the loss that people fear, I believe, leaving loved ones and for those being left, with no say in the matter. Grief and lack of understanding and the fear of the unknown are what people fear the most. When my dad was dying, he had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years, and he then developed bronchitis which took him within a few days. Although it was a shock at the time, and we were deeply saddened, as Christians, we knew where he was going, and that we would be reunited again. Also, dad had not been the dad we had known for several years, and our grief, and especially mum’s grief, for the man she had known and loved for over fifty years, was largely over by then. She knows they will be reunited in the fullness of time, and would not wish him back, certainly not as he had been for the last five or six years. I know it’s not like this for every family, but for us the process of watching my dad dying was pretty textbook - now that I’ve watched your channel Julie. I do wish I’d known what to expect and what certain things meant, and although my sister was a nurse, when it’s one of your own, I guess a lot of knowledge goes out of the window. Looking back though, it was all very ‘natural’ and even in retrospect, I thank you for the knowledge which I now have, thanks to you. 🙏

[@OceanSwimmer]

Everyone's death is different, and for that reason alone, try not to assume your sister "didn't know" or that her knowledge "went out the window" There is certainly the element of surprise when a family member becomes ill - especially if it's a sudden event, like a new diagnosis, car accident, or stroke. When it's a family member, sometimes "the nurse in the family" is expected to know everything, and to be able to not just relay the facts, but interpret ALL the whys, wheres, and whens of the symptoms, lab results, medications, and even defend the actions of doctors and staff. Please realize we are simultaneously observing, analyzing, and going through many emotions, too. We aren't often prepared to act as interpreter between you and the entire medical staff. The pressure to "perform" (as caregivers, family advocates, and teachers) can be relentless and unforgiving. Do cut us some slack & recognize we are human, too. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is allow us some space to grab a cup of coffee and snack by ourselves so we can process without everyone breathing down our necks. If I would ask my family one thing when our remaining parent is dying, it would be to leave your unresolved anger at the Medical Profession at the door and remember that our parent's death isn't all about you. We are all hurting and grieving. Try to at least be polite if you can't be kind.

[@martha4136]

So grateful to have found you and this channel. Bless you, thank you for sharing, teaching.

[@sin4595]

I used to work in a morgue so. my position was different but, I want to take a moment to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your amazing videos. What is the same is both positions is being able to witness the peace of the human body. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your honest, enlightening look into this experience 💜💜💜💜💜

[@donmcallister3745]

Two very moving stories… I think that it’s better to deal with the reality of life and that includes death… if you are more informed about it then you can help make someone’s transition from this life… as you have described a “ beautiful “ but of course not easy experience. Being honest and being THERE… is the most loving gift you can share with your loved one. Thank you for sharing and talking about this… and for how you helped those families. Bless you…🕊️

[@patlindsay538]

That is how it used to be when our loved ones stayed at home and were allowed to leave the world much as they entered it. My own father was quite sick but he worked until he died. He just lived his life until he couldn’t anymore. His mind was clear and he could do his job so he did. He’d had a rough weekend (he had kidney failure and congestive heart failure) but had an appointment with his pulmonologist on Monday, so he got up and mom helped him dress as he was feeling tired and weak. They got into the car and headed down the road. in less than 10 minutes he dropped off to sleep as he often did while Mom drove him to appointments. Then he just stopped breathing and was gone. That simply and quickly. He ended up at the hospital briefly and I came from work and got to say good bye while my mother held court in the waiting area outside the ER. She had already spent some time with him. I got to help the nurse remove his jewelry and I kissed his head. He looked so peaceful. He smelled like my Daddy always did. His favorite aftershave. It was beautiful.

[@EarlJohnson-wm4bb]

I sometimes say something smart ass and dopey for a laugh or a joke. I am speechless here. God Bless you caregivers.

[@SDNDE]

These stories are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing! ❤ I had a near-death experience once ( murder, DV incident). Let's just say that the weapons used against me did not prosper thanks to God's intervention. I had a beautiful experience and I have a whole different perspective of life and death now. It's just a transition into the next world.

[@marlieblanton198]

I'm so glad to hear you describe death as beautiful, because that is how I describe it too. It is truly an honor to be with someone as they transition from this world onto the next.

[@lindabenny4454]

Beautifully put as always Julie, thank you💜

[@FroggyBarnett]

I think it’s also important to understand that some people choose to go when they’re alone. Several people I know have been surrounded by loved ones, yet passed when they’ve been alone. The family were devastated that they died alone and that they weren’t there. But to me, they chose that moment. My husband’s father passed a year ago very quickly. He was hospitalised on the Saturday. My husband flew to be with him the Sunday (Father’s Day) and he was lucid and talking. Then he was moved to palliative care Monday and fell into a coma, passing at noon on the Wednesday. He was surrounded by his sons and wife, and it was very peaceful. My husband is grateful he was able to be there because he had just started a new job and they allowed him time off work to go and be with him. Also, my daughter had felt an urge just 2 weeks before to fly up to see him, so she was able to see him one last time, too. While we were driving home from his funeral as week after his passing (just she and I), the song from his funeral came on the radio and made us both cry! It was freaky!

[@candicegaier2649]

Julie, I have been watching your videos for the last 4 or5 mos. My son was in hospice care since Oct. 2023. You helped me to see the changes in Andy. On the last day I called all the family and let them know I didn't think it would be long. They all got the chance to tell "uncle" and brother good bye. I thank you for that.. I held his hand and sang to him and just told him how much I loved him and appreciated all his help and told him that he was a very good son. So glad I was able to see the changes and get all the kids here for him.

[@peptidegirl]

I love this. Thank you so much for sharing 💜💜

[@hospicenursejulie]

You are so welcome!

[@cirillafiona2884]

I aspire to be a hospice nurse, thank you for your videos, you made me more sure about my goal ❤

[@cskiles318]

Seeing the whole life not just that moment. Thank you

[@bobharris7401]

You’re the best.

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thank you Bob!

[@JenniferFowler-l6c]

The first story was my family’s experience with my father’s death. It was such an amazing and beautiful experience. I’m now training to become a hospice volunteer so I can hopefully assist other people with having this kind of death experience.

[@happybergner9832]

Julie you made me cry!!

[@Neiljjm]

Thank you for this beautiful video, Julie! You are an angel and this message is so important. These families were lucky to have you as their nurse!

[@dawnnicholas9293]

❤ Beautiful. Thank you. I have survived to M.I.S and congestive heart failure, etc. I am in Pallitive Care for the last 2 years. I am 57 yrs old and your words have brought me comfort 😊 ❤Thank you for sharing

[@kennethlapointesongwriter3330]

When I was a kid there was a children's book that had a really neat theme to it. It was about a 'doctor goat' who spent many days of his life looking after all the other animals whenever they got sick, would tend to them, care for them etc. And then one day the 'doctor goat' himself got sick...and you wondered at first okay who's going to take care of him? Well, you guessed it... all the other animals that he had ever taken care of came to his house to take care of him! It was very touching.

[@mikeburgan7675]

You are awesome

[@DrMattiLabbratt]

Your honesty, emotional intelligence, compassion and kindness in sharing your experiences is groundbreaking Julie, and a true gift to Everyone. Thank you Darling 👊🏼❤️🙏🏼xxx

[@user-mb8ui8or9z]

I had an NDE. Death is so beautiful. I never felt such intense love ❤️❤️

[@strawberrykatnz]

I had a similar experience when I supported my wonderful friend/housemate when I drove her to the hospice because she received a call saying her Dad was probably going to die that day. I watched the same process you describe where I felt so privileged as the non-family member watching him completely surrounded by literally a classroom full of family members by his side. I was there as emotional support because my friend didn't want to face it without me as I had provided her with the moral and emotional support she needed to be his carer in the year leading up to his death. It was sad but also beautiful and it was wonderful to see this beautiful family just soaking in that one last moment telling him how much they loved him. In that moment, that's what I realised I wanted whenever it is my time, to be surrounded by family expressing their love and being together. You know when all is said and done, if you have that moment, no matter your mistakes, you really lived and did life right. I completely understand and I am not even a hospice nurse at all.

[@peaceriver1793]

A similar thing happened to my loved one. She had cancer and didn't know it... She lived only a few weeks after her diagnosis.

[@KristinAnne327]

My family is extremely close. My dad had pulmonary fibrosis and went into the hospital on a Wednesday, said all of his goodbyes by Friday afternoon. The plan was to take him off the heavy oxygen after my husband and son saw him Friday after flying in, give him more drugs to keep him comfortable, then let him slip away. It was 11:30am and the drugs were to arrive about an hour later from the pharmacy. The chapel gave us a beautiful prayer poem to read, so we held hands around his bed. There were 8 of us including my dad. By the time my brother was done, he was gone! He died on his and God’s terms. We couldn’t believe it. So no heavy drugs were needed after all. He never used morphine at home to help with anxiety, and never liked drugs in general. It was the most peaceful and beautiful death of anyone I have known that’s died. No gurgling, no gasping, no restlessness, nothing but peacefulness and love. His memorial service was the most beautiful service most people say they’ve ever been to. I’m so lucky that my family has always gotten along, always been supportive and loving, and that’s because of my dad and mom. My brother and I still don’t argue over things about my mom. The day he died and how he died was a complete gift. The hospice nurses were so spot on in the hospital. One year after Covid started it was still kind of restrictive, but the hospital staff knew how close my family was and bent the rules for us with how many people could be in the room. We were so so grateful. For all of it. 🙏🙏🙏

[@KristinAnne327]

On Thursday he sat with my mom and brother, and planned how his life would basically end. He could talk up until 4 hours before he died! Just crazy and so beautiful.

[@tokyosmitsubishi]

Beautiful and relevant video! Thank you for making it ❤

[@bellememorie]

When my mom was moved to hospice, I got myself and my son (he was seven) out to CA as soon as I could. She had been hospitalized for over a month after having a chemo induced stroke (her cancer was actually shrinking) and she was everything to our family. Some thought it weird that we were bringing my kiddo, but why should he and my mom be deprived of seeing one another? She had been having a lot of agitation and had been sleeping pretty much all day. There had been moments of her forgetting. The literal second I walked in her room with my kiddo. I said, "Mom, it's Kristen and Domi." She sat right up and said, "Oh my goodness this is the best surprise!" She was lucid the entire week we were there. My sister and I sung for her, but my mom sang to my son who was her little buddy. The nurses were stunned as a couple of them hadn't seen anything like that. I did something I shouldn't have though. Mom's hair was in her face and it was driving her nuts. The nurses weren't letting her get a haircut, but I had been to cosmetology school once upon a time. She whispered that she had a "clandestine operation" for me. "Find scissors and help me get this dang hair out of my face." I started shopping and asked a nurse if they had any scissors I could use to open a package. She have me the most basic paper cutting scissors. I snuck my mom a haircut, just enough to get the hair off of her face. I don't know if they ever figured out what I did, but it made my mom so much more comfortable. We had to get back to where we lived after a week and my mom hung on for another week. My dad said she remembered we were there and that the haircut thing was mine and her's last bit of shenanigans. We were very close and she comes around every now and then as does my dad (he passed a year later of a broken heart, it was a sudden heart attack). They were the absolute best and I am so blessed to have had them as my parents and my friends.

[@jdk5379]

It is a very sacred journey…

[@flashrobbie]

As someone with ANCA vasculitis I'm at peace with dying when the time comes and at peace with living the best life I can until then.

[@nikitee7876]

Make sure your family is educated and not afraid.. my whole family was in a fluster in my grandfathers final days and hours and didnt even realize what was happening.. i told him "see you tomorrow" and the next i saw him he was dead.. i sat and joked with him about not waiting for me but i really wished id known it was "actually happening" so i could've fought to be with him

[@jocelynvincent3609]

❤ Thank you Julie ❤