What are some Reasons one Parent would get Sole Custody?

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[@tiazadobbs7475]

We where the full custody grandparents who became adoptive grandparents. Birth parents chose to not adhere to changes our judge asked for. No job or stable place to stay. Couldn't stay out of jail or off drugs. Rights where terminated and we adopted after 8 years of family court. He is 15 now and an awesome young man in every way. He is the song in this mamaws heart. We still keep it open so birth parents can visit but they show no interest or are a no show. Their major loss as he is a gentle and kind spirit.

[@GABRIELLADARLING]

no, having a bad past, doesn't make you a bad parent, but consistently making these bad choices makes you a bad parent. Im ready to go to court ina few months when my sperm donor gets out of jail because hes gonna want rights and thats fine. But not unless he accepts treatment and drug tests randomly for his drug abuse and abusive behavior. He abused me many times emotionally and physically. He will NOT do the same to my children.

[@aDadwhoCares]

You got this.

[@raisingwolves6992]

I’m a single mom raising one child that is now 6 and I have my son all weekday and dad recently got overnights and weekends and I’ve always been an awesome co parent to work with I wanna say I’m a co parenting dream but there are things going on. Sadly dad only have visiting time in which needs to dissolve. I have sole custody in which I’m happy to take on the tasks as a mom.

[@leea3531]

You’re perfect and he’s the problem

[@jillchaban7693]

If children are in fear of that parent.. and you get documented testimony from others.. you can get sole custody..

[@pocahontas4583]

Well my ex seems to have most of the issues you’ve named. Drug and alcohol problems, mental health issues, etc. I won’t go into detail but it’s pretty obvious from his activities around the house and being told several times by doctors that he needed therapy and medication but refusing I still didn’t ask for sole custody because I know the kids want to be able to see him. So I don’t want it to seem like they can’t do that. If I was to really tell everything in court I wouldn’t be surprised if he at minimum got supervised visits.

[@FatherX2022]

In general, it's a slimy move to go into court asking for sole custody....if there aren't real child endangerment issues. Everybody's starting point should be 50/50...and then tweak from there, based on what's best for the kids

[@pocahontas4583]

How can you do 50/50 if the other parent doesn’t want or try to have them 50/50. Like picks the kids up for just a few hours every 2-3 weeks?? 🤔

[@FatherX2022]

@@pocahontas4583 You can't force an adult to take on their parenting responsibilities. So the starting point should be 50/50, instead of an uninformed judge making arbitrary decisions. And then when you start to execute that as 2 parents, if one of the parents doesn't want to or cannot fulfill their parenting responsibilities, that's a different story. But the point behind 50/50 custody legislation is to enable both parents to execute their parenting rights...instead of the usual deprivation of rights that the court engages in.

[@lkpeay]

All criminal allegations must be adjudicated in CRIMINAL COURT. Period. The time for losing custody over allegations of abuse / neglect (that after 4 years of investigation leads to a non substantiation) is over

[@pocahontas4583]

Abuse is not only physical though and the other types of abuse which can be just as damaging if not worse are difficult to prove and/or not considered criminal.

[@didjah1]

What about if the father left us at 6 weeks pregnant and hasnt contributed or had any involvement at all?

[@melissamanning4979]

I have a checkered past from 12+ years ago when I was in severe grief from several deaths in my family and for about year and change I couldn’t make a good decision. I’ve since spent years in therapy and take Wellbutrin daily. I’m about to file for sole legal custody bc her father has an active alcohol problem that involves beating me up, losing 2 jobs this calendar year bc of alcohol, getting a dui less than 2 months ago, bouncing around from place to place to live and 3 other police incidents in 5 months involving alcohol, one involving him taking off with our daughter who is 3, drunk, on foot on a busy street. Any thoughts?

[@RaceAgnstTme]

Can I get full custody if mother does not cooperate through the full divorce, keep from our children, and in a different state? In mediation all she did was slander me and talk trash instead of talking about our children. I was very respectful, I didn't lash back or anything. I was staying for our children.

[@HunterWillis]

I'm in this situation now. Mom's #1 priority seems to be trashing me with anything she thinks up. How did this turn out for you?

[@FatherX2022]

​@@HunterWillis is she trashing you in front of the kids? That's a big no no...can you record her doing it?

[@FatherX2022]

That's a hard question to answer based on what you provided. But sounds like one of you is more likely to get primary...because 50/50 across 2 states is hard for school aged kids

[@HunterWillis]

@@FatherX2022 At this point, she doesn't seem to be trashing me in front of the kids. But she is lying in motions and in her testimony at Temp Orders. I've had solid evidence that shows she is lying (and was fortunate enough to anticipate the lie at Temp Orders and had evidence ready) or to show that she is LIKELY lying based on other things she has said or done.

[@RaceAgnstTme]

@@HunterWillis not very good. We did get divorced last June and boy can i tell you that it's going to be hard and I didn't get custody. I get every other Xmas and every summer. My ex has came a long way with treating me better and respecting me and our divorce decree. It took a lot of standing my ground and threatening to go back to court many times. She allows me to tell our children good night daily, keeps me in the loop on important issues, I get to talk to the children 3 weekends a month instead of 2. She's doing a lot now. The only issue I am facing now is she is telling me what I can and cannot do with our kids over the summer break. Not to say I haven't given up on our kids either. I will fight for them and or allow them to chose to live with me at age 12.

[@mariamkinen8036]

I live somewhere where there's. ~ < than 6 million ppl. There is absolutely no reason to evaluate life according to the DSM5 . Life is what you make it . As for me ,though, i love my language .TY.

[@Skeeterweezer]

Really could use some help...

[@krizzy__]

Really hope you get it, at least you're trying .

[@FatherX2022]

Are you still in the process?

[@messayhall609]

What if they bring the kids to bad people home all the time on his time ?

[@Simonejoy]

What about a parent is in jail for rape of a child. What are the chances that the other parent can gain full custody without visitation

[@crowntakaz]

Extremely high

[@mariamkinen8036]

I can own my stuff.

[@angelicchandler8275]

In my dad's divorce it was because my mother moved to another state and never came to court. Not that he would have lost if she had been here, she's an idiot when it came to her choices.

[@Theproclaimed]

Being female usually helps….

[@Steampunksaly]

That’s it. It’s gender based. Females get everything males role is to pay for everything Emotionally Physically And financially

[@FatherX2022]

Yes. The gender discrimination is real. Anybody who says otherwise is either clueless, or a liar. And I am a dad who was awarded primary custody in court...so I know.

[@2bstiff584]

the person is a woman that the number 1 reason

[@williamsummers6438]

There is a better way. Parental custody of children is actually a very simple matter to solve given the true desire of “What is best for the child”. We need to separate and discard marriage from family law as they no longer seem to be connected and "Marriage makes people treat each other as articles of property and no longer as free human beings. Einstein". We can develop protocols that confer (over time) equal parental rights and responsibilities,…..once parentage is proven. Children’s natural maturation process has 3 essential stages of need. A.The unconditional love of the mother from birth until about 7 years of age. The mother to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance. B.The conditional love of the father, who takes his children out into the world, gives security and teaches social boundaries from 7 until about 13 years of age. The father to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance. C.The friendship and respect of peers from 13 until 18 years of age. The child to have “thefinalsay”. If these 3 stages are not gone through in order, maturation is unlikely to be satisfactorily achieved and mental resilience reduced. This has now become generational. Such a regime of equal parenting rights (over time) would bind parents into a co-operative relationship, because (over time) each will hold the power of “thefinalsay” sequentially when they are best favoured to use it. Such family protocols would be the default position, (allowing love, courtesy and humour to prevail) but could in exceptional cases be varied by the court. Buckminster Fuller said:- “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete”. To alleviate suffering is worthy. To prevent it is divine, but thankless.