What are the Enneagram Instincts?

[@user-qb3uy5cg1u]

Very well said. Your channel is so underrated.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thank you for saying so! We're just getting started - so hopefully people continue to find it :)

[@thinkofsomethingcooler]

This is very true. Underrated. An sharing these videos all over the place!!!

[@jfish032]

The subtypes always cheesed me til now. EXCELLENT explanation. Thank you! ♥️

[@YouveGotaType]

So glad it was helpful!!

[@elainetang8504]

Possibly the best video on instincts I’ve watched. Thanks!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks so much!

[@jamesgordon5477]

Nice explanation. I'm sp/sx myself. The stackings are relatively difficult material that I think even the experts get wrong about themselves and others on occasion.

[@Coltivated]

Thanks James! Definitely gets complex when you start talking about how they all play out together. It’s like having an somewhat equal mix of “wing influence.”

[@jamesgordon5477]

@@Coltivated the key for me was seeing how the dominant instinct gets "inverted" sometimes...so you get people saying "oh well I am bad at that or don't care about that instinct much at all" so they think it isn't their dominant instinct when it really is...the system is paradoxical that way.

[@Coltivated]

@@jamesgordon5477 exactly! Well put.

[@maddy8615]

​@@jamesgordon5477 so if I think I'm so blind, chances are I'm actually an so dom?

[@jamesgordon5477]

@@maddy8615 maybe so. Tbh I’ve been wondering if I could be soc/sx instead because I have so many issues surrounding soc…anxieties and so forth…

[@soulhappy]

You explain it so well! Thanks!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks so much!

[@DavidSummers-wt1hz]

Excellent, This is a must for all to keep this present in our memory bank as we travel ONWARD through the Fog of Life smelling the flowers.

[@LittleMew133]

Self preservation babyyyy

[@YouveGotaType]

Same here 🙌

[@jenpoole7291]

Actually, sexual subtypes are capable of and crave intense intimacy.

[@YouveGotaType]

I believe I say something similar.

[@Janay-cy3cu]

Very great indepth video. My main instinctual type is self preservation, then social. I definitely need to get out of my apartment and socialize or get more involved in my community. I can stay in my apartment enjoying my favorite hobbies, form very close relationships with my loved ones, and rack up on my household products.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for watching and engaging with your personal experiences 🙌

[@Weberico]

Hi Colton! Thank you very much for this video. So for, this one has been the hardest for me to understand (for instance, I don't understand if my enneagram sub-types, the "instinctual enneagrams" are suppose to match with my own type and wing in the Enneagram...). This subject is very interesting because the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (or in general, the 12 Steps Program such as Co-Dependents Anonymous, Neurotic Anonymous) talk about the "disjointment of instincts" (they consider the material, the social, and the sexual instincts) and how the disjointment lead to "character defects", and character defects lead to acts of bad judgement. Thank you so much for the useful service you're doing and I'll keep on watching your vids and researching about this stuff.

[@thegoldsinno]

Wow! I’m a 1w2 with a sexual instinct - all of that has a lot of conflict within it and it all makes so much more sense now with these filters!

[@niharika14]

I wouldn't call SX lack of intimacy. I disagree intimacy is only about the social instinct. But my main point of disagreement here was that SX is not just about seeking stimulation - to me, one of the primary concerns is around being desirable to *your* object of desire (or undesirable). Excitement or stimulation seeking, to me, is the tip of the iceberg or sort of an ancillary trait (I actually don't do physical stimulation seeking and I am not quite that impulsive either), while identification with desirability hits more at home for me. It took me years to look one of my worst fears in the eyes, and accept it.

[@YouveGotaType]

I wouldn’t (and didnt) say the social instinct is the only one that drives us to intimacy, it’s just that social connections have different intentions. Th SX instinct is all about feeling charged up, like “plugging into an electrical socket.” That’s the purest definition of the instinct, so if you don’t relate, it may not be your primary instinct.

[@peaches039]

Brilliant!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks!

[@sharpiesarecool814]

it hurts to have a close family member/best friend be sp first when you're not because you will always know and often feel that they will always be self-centered and care ultimately about themselves more. i get shocked ALL of the time by my sister's blatant selfishness. ugh honestly it has made me question OFTEN whether i should distance myself from her because i don't deeply feel that she has my back the way i do for her. on the bright side, she does inspire me to be more selfish too tho, but man being around her it's like perpetually feeling that it's always gonna be her way or the highway. she never thinks of what others might want unless she's type 3-ing out of course and wants to impress others. she treats family the shittiest and strangers the best. i get it after years of knowing her so i don't blame her, but it never fails to hurt. her being an sp-dom compounded with being a 3, man what a lethal relationship for my self-esteem HAHA. there is a constant competitive/manipulative edge to her that im aware of from her and it exhausts me, the underlying bragging sigh. idk man im suffering so many childhood damages LOL not to mention having sx blind parents who don't get me AT ALL. im sx dom soooo yeah it sucks just a bit. but whatever i love her. she's also amazing to me. i just got heated up when i heard your description of sp doms loool

[@YouveGotaType]

Hey Persephone - what you're describing is not actually a fair or accurate depiction of what the self-preservation instinct is all about. Those traits of self-centeredness and selfishness are more about an individuals level of health rather than an instinctual drive. Unhealthy people are self-centered and selfish. The self-preservation instinct when it's unhealthy actually causes many people to neglect their own health / needs. Also the enneagram is about your own personal journey to self-awareness and healing, not criticizing/ranting about other people and then blaming their enneagram type or instinct (even if you love them deep down). The biggest problem with how the enneagram is used today (IMO) is that people use it as a weapon to justify their anger, bitterness, or dislike of other's behaviors rather than using it as a tool to make peace with all the things that are out of our control and learn to accept other people as they are today. I understand that every once in a while you need a safe space to vent - but the more you vent - the more you solidify your perceptions about another person rather than keeping an open mind and creating a safe space for them to mess up, or even to change some day.

[@nikolettavarga8351]

Thanx, best video

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks!

[@margaretjudice8944]

Great video!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks so much Margaret!

[@godmode3611]

I suggest you look into Tritypes because I've found they can tell a lot about a person as well. So a full description would be something like 162 w9 sx/sp

[@YouveGotaType]

I'm actually not a huge fan of tritypes, just because they're more redundant to me than anything. If someone tells me their enneagram type, I can draw them connections to every other type that explain shared behaviors. For instance, you said 162 which are all compliant types, so it makes sense that that connection would stand out as it's a major social pattern amongst those types. The enneagram world is so full of people trying to trademark new things so they can sell books, make $, etc. I also believe most people don't go deep enough on 1 type, let alone 3. Lastly, the tritypes have mostly caught fire in online chatrooms/discords/etc where people obsessively categorize themselves, rather than pursue real inner work, which just isn't my goal or interest.

[@godmode3611]

@@YouveGotaType Ok, thanks for taking the time to explain. I see 972 on my wife. Could that be explained as well?

[@YouveGotaType]

Yup, those are all Positive Outlook Types on the Harmonic Triad. It's a major coping mechanism where all three of those enneagram types have a hard time embracing painful emotions or negative realities, and they instead focus on "the positives" or the "silver lining" rather than dealing with the root of the issue. @@godmode3611

[@yomiseno]

My love, I have something to ask of you. I also have a confession about the cons of who I am. I'll use Typology as a perspective. I care about you, and all.. but I am scared our honeymoon phase is over. What if I ignore you for days.. because I'm so busy with school, my hobbies, passions, growing, etc.. (I AM ENTP :( Please study about this one so that you'll understand that it's really not a joke, people do abandon me because I am busy but I do love them, deep inside, I had an ex and I got his name printed on my cup even if I forget to give him time) I told you I am Sexual 7 (Instinctual Variant), right? So I do prioritize you that's why I feel this way. Sexual doms tend to priotize the people they love. Relationships, etc.. I do care about you. I am sx/so so I can be delayed in life (sp blind), plus, I have ADHD. So I really need extra discipline, self-control, organization, etc.. I am transparent about this. Anyways, I really need to focus on important things in my life, other than you that I am aware that's important to me. I am self-pres blind, your dominant instinct. You are sp 9. Self-pres present or dom has something to do with having good prioritization skills when it comes to school, grades, life, etc.. and I fricking suck because I have this inner need for my passions yet I still want to continue learning formally (I do not give up on this despite all hindrances, weaknesses, autism, even "my own personality") All I ask of you is to be understanding that sometimes, I could be cold, oblivious, etc.. but I am loving and affectionate and I do love you. I want to focus on me, I might forget about you sometimes but if you ping me, DM me, etc.. I'll be there.

[@termitesc.aardwolf3644]

I'm absolutely an SP dom enneagram 5. Pretty sure SX is my weakest instinct, given my asexuality.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for watching and sharing! Type 5s definitely resist feeling affected by others, so it make sense that you may feel asexual.

[@termitesc.aardwolf3644]

@@YouveGotaType I don't just FEEL asexual. I identify as aromantic asexual. I'm attracted to neither gender.

[@YouveGotaType]

@@termitesc.aardwolf3644 I value feelings immensely. To be "identified" is the deepest state of feeling something, not a diminishing term to me. It's a difference in the way we use words, but I understand what you're saying.

[@brownhairedgirl23]

i feel like i’m half self-pres and half sexual…

[@YouveGotaType]

We all have each of the three instincts within us, so it's quite possible to have two that are very close to the surface!

[@brownhairedgirl23]

You've Got a Type OH, okay thank you! Here is my update: i’m DEFINITELY a social with a self-pres wing and sexual as my least dominant! hahah

[@kobrien7945]

I believe I am a seven with a sexual instinct which you can imagine how much trouble that can get you in when young. As a new Christian not knowing anything about personalities, I just knew my tendency was to over indulge in anything pleasurable which was sinful. So I embrace the verse “be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect”. It was very hard work for me but 7’s having access to 1’s, I now often look like a 1. When I read about enneagram and discovered what I was I was initially upset with myself. But that only lasted a moment and I put a good spin on it instead. Thank you for what you share. It helps solidify my understanding of the enneagram and myself as well.

[@honeymoney23]

😭 thank you so much for this video! I felt so exposed by the sx description lol. Is it possible to have 2 underdeveloped Instincts? Based on your video, I'm definitely sx dominant but i feel like I'm out of touch with BOTH my self-pres and social instincts.

[@YouveGotaType]

So glad you enjoyed it! And yes it's definitely a wide spectrum of development when it comes to the instincts and depends a lot upon life experience (especially in childhood).

[@TatevikShamirzaian]

How does it look when someone has a repressed social instinct?

[@coffeefrog]

Is sexual specifically about sexual relationships or can it include any intimate interpersonal relationship... like friendships or family?

[@YouveGotaType]

No it's about life in general, not just relationships. Intensity, deep connection, energy, and a feeling of "aliveness" are the key trademarks.

[@coffeefrog]

@@YouveGotaType I see. Thank you!

[@Masteroogway40]

Social doesn't fit. I can't tell if I'm a self-preservation instinct or sexual. I'm a major 8 wing 7.

[@robertper4102]

Is it possible to have elements from all three? Cause everyone of the instincts I parts of myself in there.

[@YouveGotaType]

Absolutely, we all have each three. It's just about the order/emphasis we place on them.

[@Ally.son.joy..]

I have not finished watching the video, but can your primary instinct change as you get older?

[@Ally.son.joy..]

I feel like I go through phases of all the instincts regularly.

[@YouveGotaType]

@@Ally.son.joy.. We do use all three of the instincts - but the pattern of how they interact changes based on what's your primary, secondary, and repressed instinct. Do you know your enneagram type? It'll make more sense if you watch your particular enneagram types video. Here's the video playlist for each enneagram type: kzbin.info/aero/PLm1xoeY8KrF6EV2rrDfJykCe_hyC_kJOR

[@Ally.son.joy..]

@@YouveGotaType Thank you! I’m like 99.99% sure I am type 9w1

[@Britania-Valon]

SX/SO LESS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@YouveGotaType]

Whoa lotta support for an instinct lol