What Does It Mean To Be Spiritual?

[@l.t.2356]

Without you saying, " I'm Christian," it is quite obvious that you are a man of deep character. Thank you for your gentle teachings. I greatly respect and appreciate you, Dr. Carter.

[@seckhoffable]

I liked this too.

[@ritatharp5238]

I couldn't have said this better myself.

[@rhondathompson6592]

When you're a spiritual person, you're being who you really are at the core. Authenticity flows from your inner being. Being fake is repulsive. People who are fake are not comfortable when you're around. Thanks for this video Dr. C.

[@DrLesCarter]

You get it, Rhonda.

[@camuyana]

Dr. Carter I find a sense of peace when I listen to you because I feel it is God speaking through you to bring that peace that you speak about. I wish I would have found you years ago before I got myself into this messy situation that I'm now and will end with divorce in a few months. I thank God I found you and I found my sanity at the same time when I understood what was happening to me for all these years. May God bless you in such an important ministry to all of us who you have helped greatly.

[@painteroflove]

Yes! And Elsa, for what it's worth, there is the hope that our trials, troubles, and tribulations will build the patience and character in us that lets us be able to help others, yes? Sometimes the only people who can speak into the life of a hurting person is someone who has "been there" themselves. Perhaps God will be able to use your experiences and "turn to good" what was meant for your harm.

[@camuyana]

@@painteroflove Amen! I have faith that God is using all these moments to build character in me and for the good of others so that I may offer comfort and advice gained through my own experience. Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. May God bless you. Take care.

[@painteroflove]

​@@camuyana YES, Elsa! I believe that you will indeed be a comfort to others! He will use you because you're making yourself usable! Yay.

[@timothydraper6626]

I sense a similar tone from the Dalai Lama, similar gentleness and warmth, which I find interesting when Buddhism isn't focussed around a concept of God. What the religions and Buddhism seem to have in common is the ways of being good and kind to one another, which I think is the important thing in the end. :-)

[@painteroflove]

@@timothydraper6626 And it can be interesting to ponder where "kindness" comes from, since it's obviously not everywhere in everyone.

[@bluskie605]

It's amazing how you are bridging psychology, the world's behaviors, and the bible together. It's everything I ever wanted and more. It's so helpful to be able to talk about the gospel all of the time and shown how to do it.

[@deborahfairbanks4012]

I'm so grateful to God that He put you in my path. I'm grateful to God that there are human beings like you in the world. I believe you. Thank you for reaching out to other's souls...

[@DrLesCarter]

You're most welcome. Dr. C

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Thank you so much Dr. C, I think we needed a video like this, so many people are calling love something that is not God's kind of love. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

[@riseabove5208]

This was very well done. No judgement, no “pushing” onto others; I have experienced many of the examples you mentioned. Looking at it all from the outside, I see mistakes I’ve made. I see how others can perceive well-intended gestures in a negative way. Very well done, Dr. C.

[@Vezmus1337]

"I may have all the faith needed to move mountains--but if I have no love, I am nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:2)

[@lionofjudahlambofgod9132]

Amen

[@joannajohnson696]

I also describe myself as "christian" - one can testify of Christ by being "Christlike" in their behavior & how they treat others.

[@Libra_Girl.]

Yes! Exactly! If someone really believes the Bible is God's Word and John 3:16 then they LIVE IT!

[@nessamillikan6247]

As an Atheist, I still love the ideals of Christianity where love is the aim. I was raised Christian, and greatly appreciate having that foundation to build off of now in adult life, even if I am choosing to part ways with “the club”. We don’t have to be Christian, but being Christ-like, the teaching of love, is universal.

[@eileensianez6766]

@@nessamillikan6247 my son sounds alot like you.He totally respects faith in God that Christians have.He was raised Catholic/Mormon!! Get a kick out of that one!!

[@e.conboy4286]

@Violet Sagan Read that scripture again. It was written about the tax collectors and money changers who were selling sacrificial animals and birds which they sold and captured at the back door of the temple and re-selling at exorbitant price s to the poor. People were taught by unscrupulous scribes and greedy money changers that only the creatures they sold were acceptable. Jesus heard about this fraudulent activity from the economically challenged and was very angry. He taught that his Father required no sacrifices, except to love the Lord with all our heart and our neighbor as ourselves. He entered the temple, and saw the poor people being fleeced and angrily overturned the money changers tables and grabbed a whip and drove them and the tax collectors who were cheating the innocent people out of His fathers house of worship. He said it was a house of worship, not a den of thieves. I was not there, and I’m 85 years old but that’s the lesson I was taught in Sunday school, and read in my Bible. To everything there is a season (a time) and as Jesus demonstrated, there is a time to be angry. Eliza

[@devidaughter7782]

to become "a person who knows and lives the essence of love" (12:27)

[@Mehmet-rw9bu]

Spirituality is the awareness of one's own imperfection. Only God is perfect.

[@landofashley]

Yes

[@Christian_1980]

Well said.

[@suzannesmith5339]

I love that God gives us free will while loving us.

[@painteroflove]

Agreed. Without "free will" we can't have a "relationship," right? We played with dolls as kids (many of us) but they couldn't love us back - they just went where we put them... Grown-ups grow out of wanting to play with the dolls that they totally control. They get into relationships with real people. There's a metaphor here.

[@choosepeacetoday]

Thank you Suzanne. I remind myself almost daily: if God gives us free will even in our imperfections, we should follow his example and give free will to others….and they should allow us to have free will also. This is harsh, but when the narcissist does not allow us to have free will, he / she is placing themself above God.

[@lorrainez5190]

Love it..the religion of kindness..we all need that reminder!

[@danchandler7112]

I agree.

[@e.conboy4286]

Indeed it is the greatest of these : Faith, hope and love, the universal language. Every one and every creature yearns for it.

[@Libra_Girl.]

If someone tells me they're spiritual I don't believe them mainly because my covert narc ex always talked about how spiritual he is and he turned out to be occultic not spiritual. People who are truly spiritual just live it out and I know they are spiritual. They don't have to keep telling me over and over how spiritual they are because I will actually tell them I like how spiritual they are once I sense and see it. Let's see 1. my ex had to be in control. He wanted to control every move I made and every thought in my head. 2. He wore a mask. He was completely fake, pretending he was who he wanted to be, not who he truly is. 3. He claimed he was wise but did not practice what he preached. I think of wisdom as knowledge rightly applied. He didn't do that. He didn't have convictions with simultaneous discernment. 4. He definitely is not humble. Constantly talking bout how spiritual he is and how other people love his spirit, especially women. 5. He is a mind game player which is not kind. 6. He gave the silent treatment if there was any conflict. He would not talk about it or try to work through it. 7. His only interests are sex and working out. He didn't really like to work although lied in the beginning saying he did. 8. Claimed he is a teacher of love but is mentally and emotionally abusive. As I said, he is definitely not spiritual, especially according to the criteria presented in this video. Thank you very much for this video that brings me even more clarity even after over 4 years of learning about Narc abuse.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you dr Carter for a beautiful example to follow.

[@angelanicoletti3330]

This was so good Doctor Carter, I love the way you broke this down with Wisdom and kindness on such a delicate subject. GOD sent HIS Son they called HIM Jesus; HE came to Love, Heal and Forgive! Not so we can have a Religion. May GOD Keep Blessing you abundantly in Jesus Mighty name Doctor. Carter.

[@anesasosevic2813]

Spirituality has a wide spectrum of meaning. It depends on every single person. So, as a result, it has different meaning and definition for different people. In any case, to be spiritual means to be raised above shallow, low level of life and to devote yourself to higher sphere of life. No matter what model of spirituality we express: religion, philosophy, art, writing, metaphysics, humanitarian work - helping to other people, we donot look for materialistic reason to do it. But, our soul has benefit from this devotion. It is "food" for our soul. Dr. L. Carter, thanks for this topic full of challenge for our mind!

[@DrLesCarter]

Good thoughts, Anesa. I hope the video resonates. Dr. C

[@anesasosevic2813]

@@DrLesCarter I am looking forward to Your video.

[@carefulcarpenter]

Dr. m. scott peck, The Road Less Traveled, also described himself as christian. He said this: "Spiritual growth is cognitive growth." What is your take on this?

[@anesasosevic2813]

@@carefulcarpenter Agree with him.

[@carefulcarpenter]

@@anesasosevic2813 From my experience and study, a narcissist is stuck in a level of development. My mother was an RN and my aunt was a psychiatric socialworker--- they taught me to express myself, and to be intellectually and spiritually curious and open-minded. Narcissists often challenge me, test me, to see what I am really made of. I learned from challenges early in my youth that growth comes from overcoming the tests of life. Truth, beauty, goodness, and healthy curiosity. 👀🐡🌿🌾

[@jbellbird9050]

Your video is very timely as recently I came out of organized religion with exactly the same realization. Having been 'through the mill' with various churches, I now have a better walk with God away from all that and my bible is now my 'church'. Thanks Dr C!

[@judyscheiber3661]

Good for you! I do the same thing.

[@rtex8563]

Dr Les, I knew you were Christian based on your wisdom, kindness, and inner happiness.

[@APlus-qx7no]

I know people like that who aren't Christian.

[@lindabest3184]

This message is a great Word of Truth, of what the Characteristics of being a Christ follower consist of, the manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit is tale-tell, as the Word of God says, you will be able to identify the tree,by the fruit it bears, thank you Dr Carter ❤️💯🙌

[@Michellesvintagelibrary]

This was very well spoken and helpful. I found the interpretation of the story in Genesis to be especially interesting. To me, the most frustrating thing about “spiritual people” is how they feel the need to change other people’s minds, tell them how “wrong” they are, and “prove” or argue for how right their own “spiritual” views are. “Spirituality” is fertile ground for narcissists. I love your definition of it. This should be required viewing for all “spiritual” leaders. (Not that it would make a difference, because a narcissist wouldn’t pay any attention to it!)

[@jbellbird9050]

Amen to that!

[@wildhorses6817]

I have lost "friends" because they want to control my beliefs, church I attend, which book is acceptable to read. That is extremely judgmental. I have a personal relationship with my Creator, I strive to be kind and live a good life. A spiritual person with the need to Control others is a Red Flag

[@davidhinkson8856]

Correct!

[@Kiwiwanderer]

Knowledge needs compassion to become wisdom. Yes. Spirituality is not Religion. Spirituality is not rules and regulations. Spirituality is kindness, love, wisdom. I’m a fallen Roman Catholic ( divorced but not annulled). The past 30years so many books, people have inspired me Buddhist and zen writings, Christian writer - Anne Lamott , Leo Tolstoy - Resurrection etc. You have inspired me to be my full self - braver wiser kinder. 🙏

[@DrLesCarter]

Make sure you include Richard Rohr on your reading list. Especially Falling Upward, and Immortal Diamond. Dr. C

[@peppertree8244]

Well done, Dr. C! Well, done. Pick anything to look at or think about - grass, clouds, elements, emotions, molecules, etc. I haven't been able to find one thing that God made that isn't in vast amounts of variety. So, it only makes sense to me that God would give us many ways to know God.

[@wildhorses6817]

Absolutely

[@e.conboy4286]

He hath everything beautiful in its own time. The wisest people of the world try to ‘discover’ the mystery of creation, as if they simply can’t comprehend any power other than their own. So little faith in the marvel of Gods Creation.

[@rickie5150]

I LOVE GOD'S WORD and always look forward to going to Parkview Christian Church. Jesus Christ and His Life has been my blessed example of how to live this life with integrity and high moral values. My Dad was like that and I was so lucky to have him. I want to be worthy to live in Paradise with God and His Son. I gotta get back Home !!!

[@sadhanarane4796]

You are a DARLING 🙏🏾

[@kathleenscott4805]

I am grateful to have been lead to Dr. CARTER..The Lord

[@lynnfincham6839]

Mr c I too was brought up as a catholic. I do not follow or proclaim to be a catholic in my older years but I have a good grounding through being bought up with the commandments and I feel gods rules have helped and shaped my thinking. I firmly respect all forms of religion. I find the topic of religion enlightening and it opens you and teaches you to be respectful. I feel that narcs are fearful of religion as it implies having to follow rules of life and goodness towards fellow man... this is something I feel they do struggle with as it would imply that they would have to accept someone higher than themselves ... 💕

[@painteroflove]

BEAUTIFUL! Thank you. Oh how glorious would it be if we ALL had that same aspiration to BE as you describe. "Team Healthy" for sure! You describe what it is to be a light in the darkness. Oh how it makes those of us suffering from narcissistic abuse DROOL. Sooo, even when we're not surrounded by light, I guess our job is to BE a light (though the black holes suck it up with no return, we can still shine, just because that's what light does). Bless you, Dr. C, and thank you so much for blessing us!

[@DrLesCarter]

Thanks so much for being an encourager, Ms. Smith! Dr. C

[@painteroflove]

@@DrLesCarter Thank YOU for those kind words. They mean much to me.

[@tobascoheat6582]

Thank you so much, Dr. Carter. I want to revisit this and the other video on religion on Surviving Narcissisism channel. There is some real wisdom. Combining what I've learned here and melding it with my knowledge of the scriptures sort of gives a good PRACTICAL APPLICATION of them! I can say, "I'm a Christian.". I can say this because I am a follower of Jesus Christ. But with that said, I have a minor in World Religions. I have an understanding of other beliefs and the mindset behind most of them. With respect for the followers of these other religions, the last thing I would want to do would be to insult and alienate them!! No, this has been done enough! As a follower of Jesus, I seek to be more LIKE HIM, not to use Him as a club to beat people over the head with!!! I want people to see what a beautiful, LOVING Jesus I have! And to that end, to do as you pointed out, and be transparent about my own failings, but how my loving Jesus forgave me anyway -- at my request. That's just how wonderful He is. In His whole life He NEVER beat anyone except one time, when He came into the Temple and merchants had brought animals of every kind acceptable for sacrifice! Excrement was everywhere in His Father's House, they were overcharging people, and so forth. I personally think He did right to chase them out with a whip. Other than that He was gracious to prostitutes, tax collectors, and the like. As the scriptures teach, He went about doing good and healing the sick and raising the dead. He cared very much! People had seen enough of the law, which no man could keep! People needed then, and still need now, that yoke lifted off and shown love and eternal life simply by accepting His sacrifice. That's all they need do. Remember the thief on the cross? Jesus is a heart thing like that. So simple, so loving. That's what I want to implement into my life. And getting rid of narcissists and healing from the damage they've done in my life is, I think, the beginning. The beginning of a very good thing! Thank you so much, Dr. Carter. You are a blessing!!

[@DrLesCarter]

Thanks for this perspective, Rebekah. We tend to just dismiss how so many billions of other people approach God differently. Dr. C

[@kadootje77]

I totally agree with all you said, after learning more about narcissism, I figured out that the religion I belonged to was becoming more and more narcissistic, and thus micro managing, very controlling and after being treated extremely badly, the one thing happened that made me realize : I have to leave this religion: when it struck me that they were teaching you were not suppose to disagree or ask questions and if someone does seems to think differently than the ones in charge, the rest of the congregation had to hand them over: I realized I could not be christian in spirit and truth, and left the religion (turned cult) that I was born into, 3rd generation...Not easy, because had to leave behind all I knew, and of course was totally judged and attacked, still .....worth it, being free from these man made rules and restrictions, Thank you! ps: I also think that the 2 seeds in Gen 3:15 refers to the narcissistic way of being or living by spirit and truth/Christian, using our free will to not harm ourselves or others, be kind and helpful...

[@DrLesCarter]

Thanks for your perspective. What you have done is necessary but hard. Best wishes to you! Dr. C

[@lifetimeactor6789]

Everything you just taught resonates with me. My problem is how do we practice the "great commission," ("go and make disciples of all nations"), yet also respect others' opinions and boundaries at the same time? When I spend time around my Christian peers there is a lot of pressure to share our faith with others. The belief in most forms of Christianity is that if people don't make Jesus their personal Lord and savior, and have a relationship with him, they will be sent to hell when they die. What a conundrum! On one hand, we are to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit (good character traits) and not be disrespectful and pushy. On the other hand, we need to risk offending others or else we'll be guilty of not caring if they wind up in hell! In favor of what you just shared, if we're narcissistic about how we share our faith, it makes people run in the other direction, anyway... (and who can blame them)? I love being Christian and I almost missed out because I used to think being a believer meant becoming an obnoxious, pushy, know-it-all who steam rolls over other people's dignity. Maybe churches should encourage us to develop our fruits before pressuring us to go out recruiting new believers. Please forgive me. I'm just struggling because there's so much pressure, yet such a fine line to balance upon when it comes to sharing and sensing when to back off. Thank you, Dr. C.

[@Sonja14athome]

@Lifetime Actor Just teach by being an example. Actions speak louder than words

[@tsuchinoko01]

0:25 Dr. C thats a lovely soundtrack you have there btw. it fits the positivity of the channel really well

[@DrLesCarter]

A friend named Jeff did that for me. I really like it. I'll pass along the good vibes to him! Dr. C

[@n4lra1]

Thank you Doctor Carter. You clarify important aspects of spirituality that I believe are often misunderstood and confused by the religious doctrines of various faiths. To forgive, love and accept ourselves unconditionally, is necessary to express the Christ spirit as exemplified by Jesus. We cannot truly love our neighbor or anyone else until we love ourselves, our character then becoming love. When we are love, fear and all the illusions that prevent us from living happy and productive lives, disappear.

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

Thank you. I do join you and find great joy. There are many ways up the mountain. Spiritual means what calls my heart and soul and I can enjoy the path of others. Love. And all those characteristics show up many places. We are blessed to believe in something greater. Humility. Reverence. Appreciated Fromme. I am spiritual not religious right now. When I practiced Zen was always touched by how many Christians came to meditate. Richard Rohr seems to appreciate the mystic. I call myself an everyday mystic. Once walked w a born again Christian. She was amazed how much I understood. What a gift. Relishing awareness I fall in love with existence. That's from my understanding of Tantrika.

[@DrLesCarter]

Glad to hear all this, Nancy! Dr. C

[@kfcphtb21]

I was wondering if you were Dr. Carter…..I heard many references that you have used that were Biblical. Also it is easy to see you are a man of peace. May God bless you as you are using your talents to help others in their emotional pain and struggle! I love your distinctions of what it means to be spiritual and how we need to respect one another. Praise God for leading me to your KZbin channels! You will have many rewards in heaven!

[@michelepascoe4205]

I like and agree with your definition of "spiritual". Also, it is very hard to be emotionally stable and calm in conflict when one is traumatised, even if you are a spiritual person.

[@tzipporah7635]

Loved your comment about sitting down with one another and learning from eachother😊. Often, by doing so, we see that we have more in common with eachother than not. This weekend, I found an opportunity to tap into that with my Muslim brother in law (Im Jewish) by simply praying together side by side

[@angeljohnson7147]

I so agree with your thinking! Thank you for including hard talks.

[@jameshutchins3396]

Truly love is everything. Excellent talk sir.

[@stellaercolani3810]

What a wonderful description of spirituality.

[@TheAngelaoddone]

I'm more inclined towards a 12-step sense of spirituality -- belief in a power greater than myself. It's key to know that power greater than myself is not my partner nor any former partner, parent, boss, etc. Actually, Idk what it is. But when I put my faith in it, particularly that it may know even better than me what's best for me and that my part is simply to do the next right thing and to let go and let God, that works for me. Otherwise, I can end up in self will running riot -- either mine or me letting someone else's, which can make life unmanageable.

[@rvdn4592]

Please cover more aspects of this more often. Thank you

[@tacmason]

Thank Dr Carter-for your clear focus on the core truths of this Human life. Your "Talks" have been very helpful in my life !

[@DrLesCarter]

So pleased to be on your journey with you, David. Dr. C

[@LM-so4ec]

Thank you for addressing this topic. Spirituality is central. Would very much appreciate hearing more from you on spirituality and interactions with others.

[@ritatharp5238]

Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, my task is be goodness and not rise above other's. Humility is important.

[@fransinigiraldo4695]

“The religion of kindness”… what a powerful statement. You inspire my work as a Nurse Educator everyday. Thank you Dr. carter 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@sonyagalligan2126]

We can all be spiritual, just needs encouragement and guidance, peace be with you 🙏

[@Simpliband]

I like you! thanks for this knowledge. my religion is ''kindness''. :)

[@debbiecarson6958]

Oh Please Tell Me Do 🕊 # 1 Trusting Your Own Insight # 2 Understanding comes With Forgiveness Of Another’s Perception Of The Level Of Coherence With Leads To The Amount Of Compassion The Said Person Has For Themselves As Well As For Others # 3 Your Journey Will Only Make Sense To You As A Spiritual Person # 4 Knowing No Matter What Comes Your Way There’s Divine Insight # 5 Trusting The Process To Becoming A Self Mastering Person Of Self # 6 Loving Yourself As You Are

[@marydennis3520]

T his is such a beautiful thought

[@deelitebaby]

Brilliant, beautiful, foundational and kind discussion, Dr. Carter, thank you.

[@zenawarrior7442]

So true. Alot of religious folks, esp Christians, don't follow their own judging & preaching, causing narcissism. I've tried many types but always try to he kind & open. Thanks...good video.

[@Robidu1973]

"Love others like you love yourself." An interesting vantage point on narcissism: Since they so obviously despise others, they have to be full of self-loathing.

[@DrLesCarter]

So accurate. Dr. C

[@makesnodifference]

Bullseye

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

Lovely. I recently recognized I can be love and shine with or without a partner. I am an expression of something greater just as I am. Nature loves diversity. So do I. Love your reframe of Fromme. I agree. I disagree about I know as I am open to letting experience inform me and what I know I hope is open to change. My favorite is Martin Buber I and Thou. I call the process of seeing life as sacred as a great antidepressant.

[@Libra_Girl.]

I and Thou is a great book.

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

@@Libra_Girl. Absolutely. Life-changing for me.

[@candacetharp9717]

I needed this today! I hope it helps to neutralize a conflict I’m having within myself and with someone I care deeply for. Thank you again, Dr. Carter.

[@jennylynn82173]

Thank you, Dr. Les 🙏🏻 I appreciate your speaking on this subject very much.

[@frau_ic]

spiritual dogmatists manipulate the emotions - just like narcissists. The videos help me a lot not to lose hope. I really wish more people would think like Dr Carter. Also I can imagine that school children could learn from your thoughts. In Germany there is a school subject "ethics" as an alternative to religious education, with content on philosophy and general history of religion. I could well imagine that your approach would also fit well in this, as an educational offer for adolescents, I call it "practical psychology".

[@DrLesCarter]

So true. Glad courses like that are available in the schools. Dr. C

[@phyllisjunemillerjohnson15]

Most appreciated.

[@uriaholsenpuna8017]

Thank you, AMEN!

[@bonnielee7134]

Dr. Carter. I used to be a Christian. I am a non-believer now but I hold fast to some of the teachings because I agree with them and the bible has good wisdom in it. Often times the abused victim wonders, am I a narcissist? I think we have been in the abuse so long that it changes us. I believe we are like cats who have been teased with the hand and we will always be easily provoked. Why did it work so well for my twin narc sister to lie and say that I was doing something un-christianly attacking my good character? What is wrong with me that I had to fight it so bad? So I was in the Jehovah's witness church at first. They are very strict and expecting. Even the bible says, you must be holy because I am holy. I understand that my religion was narcissistic and psychopathic. So I was being narcissistically abused through it. The bible takes away the burden of the old Jewish law ( which the scribes and Pharisees found loop holes around ) and put a worse burden of following in Jesus' foot steps, a perfect man and being holy like God. And if we're not, we could loose our salvation. No wonder a lot of us were thinking that we're not going to make it. If you can loose your salvation then Jesus died for nothing. His ransom bought nothing. Also the end times was supposed to come back then and it never did. It was supposed to be, the last days, near, at the door, the last hour. 2000 plus years latter, God sent man to the moon. Paul would have freaked out on this in contradiction to what he was preaching. The old testament said that you will know that the prophesy came from God if it came true. This is why I'm not a Christian anymore. But why do I fall for it when someone says I'm somebody I'm not. Why does a narcissist who flips the script on me still get under my skin and I have to defend myself? I'm not even religious anymore. I'm not going to heaven or hell. There's nothing in it for me to defend myself. What the H is wrong with me? Most people could just walk away. I'm trying to get good at walking away. Sometimes I can and sometimes I don't It's like, this is why we think we're narcissists. Obviously I'm mot. I'm figuring that out. But dang what was done to me is still having an effect. It's been 4 years for me now in my recovery and just recently, 1 month, I broke the trauma bond and I got rid of the guilt of not trying to help her with this disorder so I'm free from that. But what about what was done to me and this bizzare, fight back personality? Can you please do a video on that? Thanks so much for what you do!

[@janjeny]

Thank you for sharing. I follow same path of christianity loving God 🙏 trying to please Him and loving and helping others. Thank you Dr . C and appreciate you highly

[@walkingwithAbraham]

I really appreciated this conversation. I have wrestled with what my religion should be. One blessing of this has been practicing with Muslims and Buddhists and Jews and Christians. And although some would disagree with this it did give me a nuanced humility for the good and bad I saw in each after a childhood conflict with Christianity. I think you hit the important aspects of how spirituality can become self-centered and how it can become most empowering through love and service and balanced mental health. I once researched your other speeches and saw one you gave at a church. The kid asking you “is God like you Dr C? That was deeply powerful, as we can often excuse ourselves at the detriment of others who need us to be our best.

[@DrLesCarter]

Thanks for these good comments. Dr. C

[@painteroflove]

" ...as we can often excuse ourselves at the detriment of others who need us to be our best." I copied that and will keep it. It's a truth well-said.

[@Geronimo2u]

Thank you for distinguishing spirituality from set religion. I am a Spiritualist, and usually most countries have a spiritualist Union they are guided by and our beliefs are very distinct, kind, accepting and not conditional. But as simple as that there is a spirit within us all. As a social worker it’s been a blessing and helpful to me in many ways working with public and also to recognizing the gifts within me. Thank you Les and love all you do, and always refer people to your KZbin videos too. God bless you and keep you strong. 🙏🏼💜

[@juliagetty-gordon2500]

My soul totally resonates with your teachings...and I can tell you are such a man of wisdom and integrity. Thank you for being here❤

[@danchandler7112]

I do agree with your outlook on this.

[@carolhampshire7820]

Loved this video just be yourself and try to help people who need it the most if we can don't look down on anyone thats love. That's what I do so i must be a giver of kindness. Thankyou Dr c.

[@tsuchinoko01]

Oh thats gonna be interesting, looking forward to it

[@jennylynn82173]

I’m going to share this discussion with our son tomorrow during Bible study as we are looking at what it truly means to walk in this world as a disciple of Christ - I’m blessed by your influence always. Thank you again.

[@DrLesCarter]

I'm honored. Dr. C

[@monilaninetynine3811]

I think we all have to decide for ourselves what Spiritual system best suits us and practice it. I don't believe it's up to us to tell others what their Spirituality is about. We have to respect the rights of others, as long as what they are into isn't causing harm. It's not about that unattainable goal of being perfect, it's about being authentic and real.

[@robinabbott1526]

Thank you so much for this wonderful video!! Love it. Very motivating!🙏💕🙏🐶

[@HelgaBebout-y4v]

I am in your spiritual club for sure; I have felt this way for many years.

[@SweetiePieTweety]

How many of you think Dr. C could make a lot more money as a “Match Mate Checker”. If after a year of interactions with Dr. C the good doctor gives a thumbs up, you are good to “hitch your wagon”, “hang your hat” or “mate” with that individual or group of individuals😉. Spiritual seeking I have found primarily narcissistic cults and have deduced I won’t hang my hat on any spiritual hook any more. I love Jesus and his Word but man there are some crazy things being done “In the name of Jesus” or mishandling “The Word of God” to serve their own agenda. Dr. C is a breath of fresh ❤️

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

I can't remember which historian said so, but on a PBS special, one basically said that many Holy Wars have been started, but most never finish because money takes over. Edit: I would add political power, too.

[@vals74]

I hope everyone see this video.

[@jamiet182]

🙏 Thank you 😊💐. ❤️ Awesome words. I'm encouraged so much!

[@sherryrichelle]

Great topic! Thank you, Dr. C! 🌻

[@LOVETHYSELFDAILY]

Nailed it about religious narc school

[@emmr2739]

Superb. Most helpful.

[@marykoch1611]

Thank you for you gentle and wise guidance!♥♥

[@lewis4358]

I'm a Christian but regardless even if you wasn't I respect your freewill thanks for your advice on these videos

[@bobleach7313]

Thanks Doc!

[@a.phillips6892]

Thank you SO much Dr. Les for putting this into words. I am grateful every day that I discovered you here, you help me so much. I’ve got to share this!💓🙏🏻

[@ambererickson645]

God bless you Doctor Carter!

[@beestill4126]

You are doing a lot to help us find the way. Thank you, Dr. Carter.

[@shahadah1451]

Dr. Carter, thank you again. You are truly a blessing---God is blessing so many through you.

[@DrLesCarter]

Thanks, Julie. Dr. C

[@DeborahLArmstrong]

I've delved into many different religions over the past 40+ years. I was raised in a powerful sect, it was a Judeo-Christian religion which my uncle founded. His followers believed he was God's Apostle in the last days before the Tribulation. It was a huge international organization with over 100,000 members. It had its own publishing offices, legal team, TV production studio and three college campuses! It was incredibly strict, though. I got out of it in my 20's, after being sent to live in the USSR for a year and a half during its final days. Got out of it, tried other religions including various forms of paganism including Slavic Rodnoverie. I tried atheism and thought it was funny how many of the men who had given up on religion, still believed women were the weaker sex. I don't have any religion now, find it better not to get involved with formal religious groups. I like how Gorbachev summed it up: “I believe in the cosmos. All of us are linked to the cosmos. So nature is my god. To me, nature is sacred. Trees are my temples and forests are my cathedrals. Being at one with nature." But anyway, I guess what I am saying in a roundabout way is that I agree, spirituality is not something you wear on a T-shirt or show off to people.

[@DrLesCarter]

That sounds very cult like. And no, religion is not meant for T-shirts, bumper stickers, or canned formulas. Dr. C

[@judyscheiber3661]

That's a full on CULT. Nothing to do with religion.

[@DeborahLArmstrong]

@@DrLesCarter It was called a cult by the mainstream media. But I prefer to refer to it as a "sect". I have learned that when I call it a cult, people assume it was a liberal organization or a commune where we were all hippies. Absolutely not the case. It was extremely conservative and strict. Women were not allowed to wear makeup or color their hair. They could not hold positions of authority over men. We were not allowed to eat shellfish according to Jewish dietary restrictions. We kept most Jewish Holy Days but not Christmas or Easter, which were considered pagan. We tithed up to 30% of our incomes to the church. That said, there were many good people in that church who really believed that my uncle was God's Apostle. And they were taken advantage of. I now believe he was a narcissist, full on. He had all of the tells.

[@cherylduckworth11]

After a lot of thought I can agree with the religion of kindness

[@barttanner8162]

Thank you Dr. Carter for this Vlog in these times we need to discuss our beliefs without ripping each other apart. I agree that absolutely it's all about love.

[@judyscheiber3661]

Religious choice is personal. It should never be associated with a therapist or therapy. While being kind and considerate is preferential and much healthier, it can also result in someone simply being a professional victim of some pretty awful stuff in today's world. It gets to the point it has no value. Just a pie in the sky Disneyland unrealistic outlook on trying to negotiate this life. Keep your feet planted in reality with an awareness of what's going on around you. If you don't, you are going to have some pretty awful days.

[@kellymackie4836]

I found it! AAAAHHHH its 🎯 bullseye lol!!! Since I didn't know anything about narcissism before we went to that church, I spent a long time having my family damaged and kept getting more and more confused and hurt and trying to "work it out" boy he did the whole narcissistic playbook! But we moved and now I know and am a better person, hopefully! Definitely much wiser. It was my brilliant son who pegged the narcissism, which caused me to start studying it. I couldn't figure out why the "pastor" (using the word very loosely) had temper tantrums and was psycho and we had to do EVERYTHING he wanted- more than my dad or husband EVER tried to boss me lol! He used scripture which he twisted to fit himself, like "submit " etc. I experienced almost the entire playbook! But we're gone from there and I LIVE IN PEACE NOW. "He leads me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul" no more narcs for me !! Or for my beautiful boys! Thank you Dr C!! ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏

[@DrLesCarter]

Glad you found it! Be at peace. Dr. C

[@quicknotesmedia9540]

List of spiritual characteristics starts at 6:22

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

Thank you! I think a lot of us watch these more than once, and bookmarks help. 👍😎

[@lw2099]

Beautiful helpful understanding of love and spirituality. Thank you!

[@jellybean9319]

Thanks Les. I'm also a work in progress and loving life as I follow my own path of spirituality focussing on the things that are important to me...many of those that you mention. Your videos are inspiring and you are a very sweet human being made up of the same stuff as the stars ⭐ doing a great job, especially offering online counselling for those who feel they could do with a little guidance x

[@brightpage1020]

Excited about this one. Thank you!

[@131doves]

Thank you so beautiful said🙏🏽🕊🌟

[@Jdd924]

Wonderful advice for a Sunday morning thank you

[@WhaleCommunicators]

😅excellent message and the timing is spot on. I love God and Jesus and my brothers and sisters who love them so and reflect this in every attempt and do set excellent examples to others on how we do it. AND ABSOLUTELY I'm joining you in this. I'm ALL IN my brother in God.

[@homesweetplanet]

Most people within the spiritual community who I follow or know would 100% agree with this video. Unfortunately, even within the spiritual community are narcissists and charlatans who misuse the concepts for personal gain, but there are people like that in every belief system (or lack thereof).

[@DrLesCarter]

I've been criticized for not emphasizing our need for authority and order. In my view, as love is experienced, the whole notion of authoritarianism fades. Dr. C

[@krisztina442]

Love and kindness is everything, I feel it's the source of everything else... But it can also create difficulties and confusion because everything can be twisted in the name of 'love'. For example, when I want to be in No Contact with a highly narcissistic family member, other members of the family pull out the 'Love' card mentioning that the person in question is already old, making me feel miserable and guilty. I feel it's unfair and it's based on the misconception that love means accepting and tolerating abusive behaviour. If I say no and stay in no contact for the sake of my mere sanity then I'm called judgmental and a rigid, coldhearted person. I feel that No Contact is really necessary but I still don't know how to make others understand that it can co-exist with love and it's not a contradiction. I don't wish anything bad to that person, I just want to keep the distance. I'm sure if I mentioned the importance of self-love, they would immediately call me selfish. It seems to be an endless game, a game with words. One thing is for sure: I would never ever treat anybody in the way that family member treated me and others around her in the name of 'love'. Surprisingly, her behaviour is not perceived as contradictory... insulting family members, manipulating them, gossiping and dividing the family with flying monkeys is totally OK and it can co-exist with 'love'. Strange double standards...

[@channel1800dumb]

Awesome Dr Carter, God bless!

[@ellik1817]

Spirituality, I believe is the ability to look beyond the superficial & nurture the human qualities of true Love, Kindness, Truth & humility & all the things that you talk about Dr. C .... Polar opposite of Narcissistic PD. & alot of it has not much to do with Religion & Preaching dogma.Xx

[@robrain18]

Dr C, thank you!