What Grooming Does to Your Brain

[@asdassdgfdf7509]

Cyber grooming is also a huge issue 😔

[@Psych2go]

We also covered a video on this too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pYfGY5p5aJKbhK8

[@I_inhale_spaghetti_regularly]

​@Psych2go I'm not getting enough sleep thanks to your videos. Please stop making them so entertaining you're ruining my sleep!

[@InuyashaTrap]

​What about people who make false accusations of sa and grooming to an ex or friend and the trauma it can cause to that person. And what that person gains from doing that. ​@@Psych2go

[@asdassdgfdf7509]

@@Psych2go thank you I have watched it 😊

[@ogr3cc]

Press ‘Block’ bro

[@Deasiaudaniels]

We don’t talk about adults who go through the same grooming and the inner child is afraid to address the predator.

[@MorgueInTheVoid]

Totally agree. Like being pushed into something you don't enjoy and worrying they'll leave you or find pleasure elsewhere if you don't comply. And unfortunately you see that as valid and you don't want to disappoint them so you give in or allow them to seek the activity through other people. But either way, you'll be crying yourself to sleep that night.

[@ClaraZn]

:(

[@lionofjudah5221]

Do you know that Jesus loves you? He gave up his life and died on the cross to set us free from sin and gave us the opportunity to have everlasting life with him in heaven. Jesus is waiting for you with his loving arms. Please repent before it's too late. Godbless.

[@AgentCyanide]

​@@lionofjudah5221 John 14:6 Jesus answered:i am the way and the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except through me-6 DOLLAR SHRIMP SPECIAL!!!

[@Kitty-Velour]

​@@lionofjudah5221just a gentle reminder that you can know Jesus and still be groomed by someone.

[@NarcSurvivor]

Grooming makes you forget about yourself, your feelings, your wants, needs, goals, dreams and ambitions. And instead, your thoughts and behaviours revolve around the groomer. You’re made to feel like you have to give up everything to do with yourself, to make them happy. Whatever you wanted for yourself and your future all goes out the window. It’s like Pavlov’s Dogs. They ring the bell and you just drop everything for them. When they say “jump”, you say “how high”, because you’ve been conditioned to exist for them and serve them.

[@rev0live752]

Bullsht

[@mancitythegoat]

Im gromer haha vicims 😈 YOU ARE ALONE 😈😈👉

[@lionofjudah5221]

Do you know that Jesus loves you? He gave up his life and died on the cross to set us free from sin and gave us the opportunity to have everlasting life with him in heaven. Jesus is waiting for you with his loving arms. Please repent before it's too late. Godbless.

[@crystalla_mgmt]

This

[@Plex_Viridian]

@@lionofjudah5221 so you are saying your god is a groomer.

[@spacecraft080]

I wish general public has more empathy and understanding to the victim of child grooming. This happened too many times in entertainment industry. People also tended to turn against the groomed children once they grew up and still defended the groomer, as if they could snap out of years of manipulation the moment they learned they've been groomed throughout their lives.

[@missquprison]

I wanna say to the victims of grooming in general.

[@georgianagheorghe8848]

Narcissists, abusers and toxic people are also protected by the sick society and held on the highest pedestal.

[@toddij]

I'm glad FINALLY someone said grownups experience grooming to 😢

[@blubird6448]

A lot of the times grooming is associated with SA, but watching this made me realize that I’ve been groomed by my own family to essentially live for them while neglecting my own life and be okay with their horrible treatment of me in return

[@ZitronCrazy]

Yeah, there is also the emotional thing

[@SmoothOpe_]

@amaranocete2sexual abuse

[@Katastr0phic_Katicorn]

I was 14 when it started. He was in his 20s. My mom watched it happen and did nothing. Her boyfriend's brother tried to tell me what was happening when I was 16 and already in the cycle and fully dependent. I had nowhere else to go by that time. And then both my parents abandoned me. I was 19 when I got out, and it took my 30s to realize what had happened. I'm only starting to repair the damage now, and there is so much I don't really remember.

[@ZitronCrazy]

My parents tried to reach me and I didn't listen 'cause he made me hate my parents, I really rebeled against my friends and family, I hurted them and got hurt by myself. When I listend to people in Discord I then breaked up finally with that fat guy. And kinda since then, I don't really know how to act properly as an adult should or how is it correct to sozialice or how to show your feelings to other person. I kinda created an avoidant atachment style and hurt my partner, but I finally found that dumb thing and I try to accept it and learn from it.

[@secularindian592]

It was entirely your fault. It should be legal

[@Simply_Ness]

@@secularindian592OFC the Indian is saying this

[@nthsa04]

I hope you can heal, sending virtual hugs to you 🤗

[@Medicinalnotation]

@@secularindian592I’m sorry but was this a typo?….

[@Bohemianstory]

I'm related to this because my family friend tried to be in a relationship with me. Instead of my family defending me, they just keep this predators in my life over and over again so I stayed in my room. I'm grateful to said I don't talk to anyone of these dangerous people.❤

[@dexterpeterbark1121]

@Bohemianstory Continue to trust your instincts... Continue to stay away

[@Kendoesntdostuff2]

I'm a victim of grooming, and the worst part after getting out of the relationship was doubting myself. I thought I was stupid and naive for not seeing the warning signs, or for not wanting to leave when I finally did. Its insanely comforting to know there's a reason I felt like that, love these videos

[@alicia234]

People have always dismissed all my relationships that involved an age gap as “grooming” just because of age, and they say “One day you’ll look back and see you were groomed because there’s no possible other way you could be in a relationship like THAT, it’s gross.” It’s frustrating. Grooming is about abuse, not just age gaps. I have never once felt abused or coerced in most of my relationships, and when I began to feel unsafe in the ones that were abusive, I got out, and it wasn’t because of age like people seem to think. Luckily for me, it was easy to get out because I wasn’t too entangled with them at the time. I hope people never say things like this to me again because even though most relationships I’ve been in have still been unhealthy, it’s usually been because of them being emotionally unavailable, not abusive. Abuse is not exclusive to older people. My friend is currently with an older man and has dated men older than I have when I was younger, and she seems genuinely happy, which is all I want for her. My message is that I just hope people don’t automatically jump to “grooming” just because of arbitrary age.

[@chrzig554]

It's mostly age gaps, tho. There's men out there who said themselves that younger women are easier to train...TRAIN

[@banwtw]

@@chrzig554 easier to mold too

[@JuguitodeUwU555]

Watch the movie The Tale, maybe it will clarify this thing with the age gap (aka power gap)

[@oprincip]

“This can lead to situations where people falsely accuse the victim of lying…Trauma can disrupt memory formation leading to fragmented or missing recollections. It’s important to understand that memory gaps don’t diminish the reality of what the victim experienced.”

[@jtrujillo1985]

You get it.. its amazing how strong our muscles and bodies can be while also being so intricately sensitive all at once.. even without us knowing, until we do..🧠

[@FaithfulandTrue777]

It is an irresistible addictive pull even though you feel pain and they are harming you. Thank you for shedding light on brain re-wiring. Please protect our innocent children Lord, the fight is crushing even for me an adult 😢

[@Szaroskadviz4]

My friend has been groomed 2 years ago and this video immidietly reminded me of her. I finally meet her again today :D

[@ML-HS]

this reminded me of my friend too to a t. Groomed since 15 and now 15 years later speaks of this bond unlike any other where they are destined to be together. Sure, they are hard to love,but it's just how it is. Their personalities compliment each other so well. Doesn't mind their partner isolated them and all you can do is just be at a safe distance and know your thoughts and opinions will never be taken seriously. Because they will make them believe it's you who is the issue.

[@Robby-g2n]

no diddy

[@secularindian592]

It was your friends fault. It should be legalized

[@Simply_Ness]

@@secularindian592bot

[@raheemahnitoto3099]

I just have to thank you. A little while back you created a video about grooming that only mentioned children. I left a comment saying it was dangerous because it leaves out adults who go through grooming. Adults who go through grooming many times have such profound shame for falling victim that they don’t reach out for help. It’s really important for people to know that this can happen so they can provide support and empathy. This was a lot more in-depth than some other videos you’ve done but it’s worth it. It’s valuable. Thank you again. Maybe one day you can connect grooming to narcissism since you do so many amazing videos about narcissism. Or maybe you can do one about grooming and cult dynamics. Thanks again for all you do!❤

[@kylehogan2247]

You know you've been through *something* when you start crying with no true frontal emotion over learning more about this stuff. The feeling of familiarity without memory; the feeling of knowing without knowing; lacking context, yet sobbing, not out of empathy but simply out of a feeling of lacking something you remember, but don't.

[@PaolaRumin]

I've had similar feelings while reading My dark Vanessa. That book opened my eyes. I highly reccomend it to everyone.

[@hailqueenspider1]

Thank you for posting this. I literally filed an SA report last night & I was so confused on why I was stilling denial of it even happening

[@angelajensen5442]

57 years old and I still know I’ve blocked so much out since mine started in 4th grade. Which made the roller coaster of bad decisions and awful abusive relationships. I never got help to deal with all so much. I am stuck in life but afraid to open up my past so it’s a double edged sword, do I open my memories and be healthy or at this point leave the abuse behind and try to go on???? I’m having more trouble with all of this than at any time of my life.

[@franzii_thelobbyhoe8640]

You don't have to open everything up at once. Open something up is there to help you to unverstand yourself. Remember that being abused is Not your Fault. Starting at any point in life at any age,.. it doesnt matter when but it is strong even though it is Not easy. I can really understand how heavy it has to be when you think you made false decisions and like burried your past a bit. But just the fact that you can Tell These things here Shows that you have the "power" to move on and make small steps in your Tempo for yourself, for a life that can feel better. you can also try Therapie, i also struggled trusting my Therapie but the i Notizen that it is just a little Chance to gain something understand myself better. The Rest is my decision.

[@lilianfowler7988]

Groomers are everywhere. If you feel your wiring makes you vulnerable, it maybe a worthwhile journey to develop a healthy adult wiring that protects and validate your child. Be safe.

[@SikyWonder-u5r]

i was groomed on roblox when i was about 9, and i beat myself up for allowing that to happen to me. thank you so much for making this video, it really helped me realize that it wasn’t fault that it happened 🙂🫶🏻 i love your channel♥️

[@leialuminous]

Grooming is how one can gain trust issues and complex PTSD. Recovery is possible folks! You're not alone! Stay strong, educate ❤

[@rev0live752]

“Trust issues” dont matter and PTSD is VERY different

[@pokevo2689]

@@rev0live752 they said that you can gain those traits/ mental issues. and thats not wrong, they didnt say that grooming is like ptsd lol

[@leialuminous]

@rev0live752 have you ever tried to have a healthy relationship with trust issues? It definitely matters. Where did I say they were the same?

[@MufflesTheGerbil]

Honestly, I think my major C-PTSD from all these type of people in my life that ruined my brain as a child is impossible to fix. It's permanently changed my brain and ruined my brain development that I can't even do anything in life but isolate myself in my room living with my parents. All I can do is sleep and think about death being better. I don't even remember the last time I took care of my self besides washing my own hands. My room is a mess and my body is getting more damaged from my zero percent effort in self care of myself. I honestly thought the 200mg of Zoloft and therapy to treat C-PTSD issues would help me but even when there is progress it all goes back to zero or gets worse the very next day after that. Honestly, at this point I grew up just to be a not functional living person in society that can't even keep themselves alive. My brain has been ruined and all I'm just stuck with is the brain of a dependent child that can't do anything for themselves, even if they tried. Honestly, death just feels better at this point. It honestly doesn't help that having high functioning autism enhances my negative emotions and feelings and the fact that my IQ is apparently above average than the average person which just makes me feel worse because how can someone who is apparently capable of being so smart not know how to even keep themselves alive or live in the real world..... I'm done typing now because I'm about to pass out. I hope I wrote everything correctly.

[@MufflesTheGerbil]

Honestly, I think my major C-PTSD from all these type of people in my life that ruined my brain as a child is impossible to fix. It's permanently changed my brain and ruined my brain development that I can't even do anything in life but isolate myself in my room living with my parents. All I can do is sleep and think about death being better. I don't even remember the last time I took care of my self besides washing my own hands. My room is a mess and my body is getting more damaged from my zero percent effort in self care of myself. I honestly thought the 200mg of Zoloft and therapy to treat C-PTSD issues would help me but even when there is progress it all goes back to zero or gets worse the very next day after that. Honestly, at this point I grew up just to be a not functional living person in society that can't even keep themselves alive. My brain has been ruined and all I'm just stuck with is the brain of a dependent child that can't do anything for themselves, even if they tried. Honestly, not existing just feels better at this point. It honestly doesn't help that having high functioning autism enhances my negative emotions and feelings and the fact that my IQ is apparently above average than the average person which just makes me feel worse because how can someone who is apparently capable of being so smart not know how to even keep themselves alive or live in the real world..... I'm done typing now because I'm about to pass out. I hope I wrote everything correctly.

[@PaigeSquared]

"it is not about weakness or naivety."

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

Could you make a video explaining how to distinguish grooming from a genuinely caring relationship please? Also, could you make one explaining the difference between intentional grooming and merely mimicking such behaviours because that's all one knows? Thank you.

[@Starshine45]

Few things on why grooming goes unnoticed: 1. Gradual Manipulation 2. Cognitive Dissonance 3. Gaslighting 4. Isolation & Control 5. Trauma Bonding Don't worry I got your back, and besides you're not alone on this 😊

[@yes.ma_am]

Thank you

[@josephbelisle5792]

Do you understand how much what you just said is like grooming?

[@kylebryan4504]

Watching this triggered multiple emotional traumas I endured well into my adult years. This would definitely help explain some of the nightmares and night terrors that I've been dealing within the last few years.

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). Emotional dependency 1:08 2). Cognitive dissonance 1:57 3). Gaslighting 2:29 4). Isolation and control 3:56 5). Trauma bonding 4:55 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@RaE8270]

100% describes what I just went through. Thank you for the validation❤

[@TheFlamerWolf]

as a surviver of SA and grooming it happened 6 years ago and it still stings me

[@secularindian592]

Your fault

[@french.pastry]

It’s not your fault, I hope you’re able to can fully recover one day :)

[@secularindian592]

@@french.pastry Actually it was their fault

[@french.pastry]

@ that’s not how grooming and SA work. It’s never the victim’s fault. Btw you should keep your mouth out of conversations that don’t concern you if you’re gonna be an ignorant brat about it.

[@TheFlamerWolf]

@french.pastry thx friend

[@safira-u2h]

Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.

[@safira-u2h]

How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@safira-u2h]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@fengmainbigbrain2291]

I've always felt so angry at myself for allowing this to happen to me even though i was too young to know any better. But i'm still ashamed of myself. At the same time, it sometimes feels like it never actually happened and i made it all up. Since nobody knew about it, and i haven't talked about it either, when i try to recall some memories it feels like they aren't even real. I started visiting a psychologist three months ago and it's been tough. So thank you for making this video.❤️

[@secularindian592]

It was actually your fault. It should be legal

[@fengmainbigbrain2291]

@@secularindian592 hope you feel better now i guess

[@bbbbb8962]

Hey, I just wanted to say how brave you are for sharing this ❤. It gives someone like me the courage to face and comprehend what happened to me when just like you said, it feels like it's all in the head. Don't mind the other reply. They spam the same thing others too. Maybe they'll grow up one day.

[@secularindian592]

@bbbbb8962 It was their fault. They allowed it to happen, so their fault. Nothing wrong with grooming. We should legalize it

[@secularindian592]

@@fengmainbigbrain2291 It dosent make me feel better. What i said was the reality which you refuse to accept

[@dannygoats6887]

im watching this because I am the groomer and the reason for her to break up with me. im proud she broke up with me as it allowed me to recognise what I have done. So this video helped me a lot to improve myself and have a better relationship and better myself

[@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose]

I recommend every fellow survivor of this to do some research on this & other psychological topics to create awareness for yourself just not to fall into this vicious circle again. For instance, when I began to inform myself about Gaslighting tactics, people NEVER ever could touch or manipulate me again. I ain't buy it anymore. Always be prepared for evil people in this world full of really not healthy people, ladies & gentlemen❣️ And by the way: I have become a self-confident woman through this process because I'm able to say no & ghost negative people out of my life. 🥳

[@walnutmartin3991]

Trauma bonding is like making the problem to sell the solution

[@MonogoMango]

I feel like I have been groomed both as an adult and as a child. I won't say whom but I know who they're. In this video there're so many things that prove me right.

[@secularindian592]

It was your fault. It should be legalized

[@Cascadiawoodchippersociety]

Thank you for making this video. I try to spread awareness too. ❤ It makes me so happy to see teens being warned about this! Thank you!

[@yannickronnert6367]

How does this channel know everything about my life?? I've almost ran out of trauma now...Are you in my walls??

[@Mariawasnthere]

Are you okay? Genuinely? :(

[@MissStrawberryGun]

Most likely a result of your own confirmation biases.. but it's also true that our phones/devices are listening to us so could be a combination of both.

[@yannickronnert6367]

@@MissStrawberryGun yeah true I guess but it IS suspiciously accurate

[@cantwin8105]

Well hell this is weird timing, I just escaped an abusive relationship where he is in his 50s I'm in my early 20s, and I was definitely groomed. Omg ty 4 this!

[@secularindian592]

It was your fault. It should be legal

[@UltimateCerberus666]

I was groomed and abused s**ually from the time I was 5 years old. The first time I was able to admit that to myself, to recognize and acknowledge what actually happened to me …was last year in 2024. I feel like the damage is irreversible. This isn’t a sob story to make people feel bad for me. This is me telling you from my own experience that this type of manipulation truly does destroy your psyche and erase memories no matter what any gaslighters try to tell you. Your pain is real

[@sterr.enlicht2974]

Sending love to the survivors out there❤❤❤❤

[@TheBlondiekitten]

My mother - covert narcissist - does this.

[@HowaroHans]

Mine too .....

[@jeffking3641]

You understand this subject better than the producers of this misleading cartoon. This subject is narcissism. Love booming is what these goofballs are describing.

[@the_alif_guy]

​@jeffking3641 Grooming can be done by people other than narcissists... unless you'd like to argue.

[@Chiggs2400]

Same lol

[@franzii_thelobbyhoe8640]

My father 2. Really, im so sorry for that. You Arena strenger than you think. And you can find people who are good to you

[@Lala33-3]

Sad. I was thinking it meant personal grooming, like combing hair, maintaining body hair…

[@ejandrews3065]

Literally was thinking the same thing they need to stop changing definitions of nice words to describe despicable predatory acts

[@aaronmohammed9250]

Same 😂

[@byuftbl]

@@ejandrews3065Yeah I’m a dog groomer and people literally just refer to as as “groomers” so I hate that someone picked this word to use to describe this. I wish they’d just call it manipulation and call predators predators instead of groomers.

[@HiKingMargo]

I loved when I confided in someone about a fraction of what I've gone through, and their first reaction was to victim blame me. As if it was my own fault for how I was treated, and as if it is just that simple as my allowing it to happen. It's never simple. Just felt like sharing that, for anyone else going through it. It is not your fault how someone else treats you. No matter how much that person (or others) say or wish that to be the case. ❤

[@leah-u6i]

Thank you for putting this up , this he;ped me so much. I was groomed 2 years ago now and this has helped me understand mine and others experiance with what happened 💗💗

[@Kurkanos]

I personally don't understand grooming at all, like I can't imagine myself letting some older guy to take me down like that, but so sorry for everyone who's gone through that, even though I don't get it💔

[@wisdomfox857]

Grooming is to wide of a term

[@LukasWeeke]

I see how easy it is to fall into these traps. I always take time for myself and try to get into a bird's eye view on these behaviours. Be aware that your primary source of security is yourself. Others can just be an addition and if they are not, unattached to what they provided for you, you should distance yourself from them.

[@th314c]

Thanks!

[@CamillaHorne]

Thank you. This describes my experience 100% percent. I've developed ptsd from the abuse I endured to get my validation-fix. I'm free from him now, but the cost were high. The worst part is he is still manipulating women. I haven't reported him in the fear of retaliation from him and the fear of not being believed by others since I can't remember a lot of the abuse. But my body remembers.

[@ValeriejrkRBLX]

This actually did happen to me before, thanks for helping me understand how to seek help.

[@wisdomfox857]

Bot

[@EpsilonBlue-c7b]

Indeed. I've been on the receiving end of this.

[@m4rz._.L0L]

it's sad how this happens mostly to autistic people... i'm glad that i realize these signs quick because there were TWO adults on my channel that said i was cute.. (i'm a minor) and luckily i deleted those comments and videos...if i didn't notice anything sooner and replied to the comments..i'd be groomed by two people (at different times) even if they were kids (WHICH IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY) it still is good to be careful. i'm still slightly traumatized by that experience and i didn't tell my mom about that but i should've...

[@nlclemens]

Could you tell her, or tell someone? Good job for recognizing it and avoiding it!!

[@drivebypoet]

Thanks for sharing these ideas. I've been groomed at least three times, and it's so painful.

[@KiwiiLoka]

you know, sometimes hurts when you see someone you're close to being groomed by, trying to tell them, warning them or helping them to get out, for them to ending up shutting down every single chance, completely blinded by it, it's awful when the abusers turn their victims against their loved ones to keep isolating them.

[@paulbrzeski4237]

Thank you for posting this! I was groomed at a young age online and due to a lack of guidance on relationships for gay people, and the stigma of it, I ended up hiding that side of my life from family and even friends at school. I grew up being the family scapegoat while my younger sister was the golden child. I also experienced domestic violence and frequently moved between cities, leaving me with a lack of connections and support. This upbringing left me even more vulnerable because groomers were able to take advantage of my many weaknesses.

[@Psych2go]

Tell us one fun fact about where you are without sharing the actual location.

[@SkullSkGamingTV]

We have sheep dumplings

[@Malemico]

There is a huge gothic cathedral here ~

[@b09robincyrusmerencilla6]

I am where the people use a stereotype of us as “Ching Chong”. But specifically, I am where I sleep.

[@Marthamitchel]

Meth murder mountain

[@OmniTarget13]

Fun fact: It’s where I live.

[@neverkathy]

the movie “reindeer” on Netflix is based on a real story and is so impactful in discussing grooming. it opened my eyes, compassion, and understanding with how this can happen to adults too

[@Pixieangel6014]

Not me watching this at 6 am

[@amberr3662]

12pm for me lol

[@cakeandmilk4526]

5

[@viet7612]

Mee too lol😊

[@fish_toes]

Wtf me too

[@akiralyrics9590]

13 and a half for me

[@Malemico]

Wish i had the awareness as a kid/teen.. oh damn..

[@PaigeSquared]

We are biologically wired to buy into our caregiver's perspective to survive. When parents groom, it is particularly insidious. A person is raised into a compliant subordinate, they do not believe they have basic rights, and they do not have the sense of self that would motivate them to learn about their circumstances. Lack of self love is a self perpetuating loop.

[@nikimeihua]

Me too, there was not information back then so I never realized I was a victim until I became adult 😢 hope new generations can be educated about this

[@morgandraegar7301]

The fact this isn't a crime punishable by lengthy time spent in prison is an atrocity. Who knows how much we have been set back as a species by not stamping this evil behavior out & allowing the development of our children to be fundamentally r*ped. Safe healing, yall. SPEAK UP~!

[@secularindian592]

It should be legalized.

[@secularindian592]

This is unfortanetly a crime. There is not much wrong with grooming, its the victims fault they allow it to happen

[@Huntformore]

It happened to me in high school with my assistant band director. Wrote a song about it, spread my story, and it still feels so heavy

[@anthony.grenier97]

Just lived that with someone.. Insane how they can do that without caring truly about the person. Everything they are doing is your fault. Now that I am alone, it is much better but I gave too much and now, paying the price.. Trusting your gut is really important.

[@puddinggang]

First 2 minutes in the video and I already find it relateable

[@HandsofApollo]

I have been the victim of sexual grooming and in adulthood, financial grooming. I am destitute and have been told that it is all my fault time and time again despite the fact that I have given these people everything I have. I am deeply wounded by multiple grooming phases I have experienced in life and no one seems to care!!!

[@Fourcards]

This reminded me of my best friend. She's 16, and has been in an online relationship with someone who's 21+. They got together when she was 15. She's aware of the age gap, and that It's wrong, but dosen't care. I've attempted time and time again to talk to her calmly, both over text and face to face, and explain to her that It's wrong and she must leave the relationship. I've mention numorous things he's done that she's told me about, like lovebombing her before ghosting her out of nowhere, or not defending her if any of his friends are rude or inappropriate. I've mentioned that those are things no person should do or allow to their partner, let alone a child, and no adult should be with a child, no questions asked. However, she's never listened. It's incredibly clear to me that she's been and is being groomed, especially because I've been groomed myself and recognize these things in my own experiences. Though nothing I say or do has made her changed her mind or made her question things. What makes it worse is that both her mother and psychologist know of the relationship and don't do or say anything against it, leading her to have a stronger feeling of the relationship being fine. It's come to a point where she's become more and more like a jerk towards anyone who so much as mentions the relationship negatively, and ditches friends and schoolwork simply to make time for her groomer, something that's even led to her losing hours of sleep. I want to help her so badly. I want to get her out of the relationship and get her all the help she can get so she can heal from this, but nothing I've tried or said has made her listen, and over the past year she's been becoming more of a toxic and harmful person to be with. It's painful to be with her, but its also painful to stand by. I don't wish to have to choose between my health or hers, but after more than a year it feels like this is what its coming to. I genuinely hope she gets out of the relationship soon, I can't stand watching her become worse with every passing day. It's awful, both for her and everyone around her.

[@hannamorrow3214]

(T.W) Me and my sister were adopted when we were 3 and 4 years old. Our adopted father is a pedophile child abuser and started grooming us immediately. The grooming process was exactly how you described. This went on for 10 years when he was finally arrested on Christmas day when my sister ran away because he tried to go all the way with her. I have entire years of my memories lost that i have no recollection of. Instead i live with this feeling of shame and disgust and confusion. I have glimpses of memories but i dont know if it was just a dream or not. Anyways yeah grooming sucks. I guess im trauma dumping to strangers again haha

[@SunIsLost]

Don't worry, we have your back.

[@nikimeihua]

I hope you and your sister are doing well 😢

[@c00lestkidd0z]

In an abusive substance use program currently. So many reasons it’s abuse i could write an essay so im not going to get into it. This is literally word for word what’s happening to me and it’s so hard to decipher whats real or not I’m regards to how bad it is. I even feel bad saying its abuse here bc im conditioned to not only believe its not but im punished for questioning anything. Literally training me like a dog and im also told it means im going to relapse if i am questioning stuff bc i don’t know what i need. It’s awful thank you for this it’s a good reminder that this isn’t normal or ok.

[@VowVision]

We don’t talk about adults who go through the same grooming and the inner child is afraid to address the predator. we must be care

[@MVioletiqueArts]

*“Be sure of this: the wicked will not goo unpunished, but those who are righteous go free.”* - Proverbs 11:21. Stay safe irl and in the internet!

[@HandsofApollo]

Thank you for this ❤❤

[@Polarprincesspod]

Thank you for sharing this 🪄✨😊

[@land3021]

6:53 I relate, but I don’t think I’ve been groomed… maybe I have been but I never realised it? Yeah sounds eerily similar… considering that I always put the needs and curiousities of others before my own, not in fear, but rather, out of obligation… meanwhile I always hide my interests in fear of being called weird… or people are just bloody inconsiderate of me all the time… or oblivious to stuff… but I can’t deny that I play a part in that… a part that I feel like I’m being gaslit into believing is larger than it actually is…

[@Banana_duck-mas]

Thank you for everything phyce2go i love you!!❤❤❤❤

[@the_UF365]

As someone who's considered smart and was groomed into defending their abuser, I can say without a doubt that anyone of any intelligence level can find themselves trapped in this type of cycle.

[@lorianttila9698]

I am an adult this happened to. Even with therapy, it is taking a very long time to understand

[@mattconde3440]

Helpful. It's sad to think that so many people fall on it without knowing. But, once recognized how to escape?

[@AVeryTiredCatBoi]

This reminds me of the relationship with my mom, but at the same time I know what's going on. I don't think she means to, but she is hurting me a lot. Maybe not physically (besides that one time in October) but definitely mentally and emotionally. I wish I could escape in a better way than what I have planned, but it feels like the only way out....

[@seashantytallie]

As someone who was groomed half my life from multitude of folks, abuse that I finally walked away from, and try helping others especially kids from facing the same trauma as I did, it can be a slippery slope just as well to defend others, I even make sure to say my age, gender and make sure to point out if minor how a lot of topics or words, or even roleplay is limited to things, and if they felt used or abused talk to me, even if it’s their own parents, which so far only one betrayed me and blamed me for her trauma but I found the real person and helped the girl, but ended all contact afterwards. Being abused and trying to save is on the same coin at times, so if you see someone in need do right and talk it out in parts, or report it if your afraid that you’ll damage either side for involving yourself in these situations. ~ online mother bird.

[@RandomAnonymousChick]

Great video & topic. Thank you.

[@TuRDTILLA]

i didnt know i was groomed, thanks for the vid

[@wisdomfox857]

You weren't groomed this video is stupid

[@RosieIfYouKnowMe]

I've been a victim of grooming my entire life. I don't know how to live apart from it but I wish I could. It sucks knowing about it and not being able to do anything.

[@wisdomfox857]

Doubt it get over your self

[@lollyhurndall3642]

Ty this has helped me understand and I'm on cancelling list just waiting got to have cbt 😮but I'm away for my family abusive members 😢😢

[@RainStreet28]

Everyone: "Wonder who's those people..." *Looks at each other.* [10 seconds later] Everyone: *"YOU! YOU! YOU!!! AHH-"*

[@nthsa04]

This is triggering. All signs are true for my case. Had been there when I was 17 and he was 21. It caused me trauma for years and affected my perspective of romantic relationship bcs I was conditioned to believe that I was an overreact person. He convinced me that I was silly to think or care too much, where those reactions were valid because he hurted me. He forced me to do things I didn't want and would avoid or leave if I don't do it. So yes, 01:10 the emotional dependency was there. Thank God I'm healed. But the way I discovered that he did groomed me in my teenage years was sickening.

[@jetblackvelvet1425]

The biggest problem by far is when it works. They try to make your memories with them positive, so your perception of what love is, how love works, is twisted. It's very rough to live with something like that. But it's even worse when all the fears they slip into you are proven right. It's even worse when they were right - you can't trust your family. I'm not projecting I swear

[@thefirstyaksha]

But how do we help people who we can see are in such relationships without them hating us at the end of it

[@sebastianmaker6798]

I was 16, he was 25. I always thought "I'm too smart to be groomed. He's just into me". Then the abuse started. Looking back, I was a prime example of someone at risk of being groomed. Lonely, desperate for validation, a terrible relationship with my parents, and almost no support system. And now at 24, I look at the highschoolers I pass on the street and wonder how anyone could ever hurt a child like that. They're kids.

[@hilosamurai5703]

not many talk about how grooming can be done by people your age. and that makes it harder to figure out what it is. if your just friends or something manipujlative is happening, as a kid i had a friend that did a lot of things entailed in the video that had the same affects on me and i ended up changing for the worse because of it. and i still struggle to this day.

[@crilleedara]

I have been feeling.. Conflicted as of late. I have recently talked a lot to someone who turned out to be Much younger than myself (I knew they were younger, just not how much younger). We have spoken about this and they know I would NEVER do anything to them, in addition to them saying that they think it's okay for us to interact (mainly via texting, sometimes calling with others there). To tie this to the video, I as the older person is the one experiencing isolation and (partly due to this) a lot of emotional support and dependency on them. If anything, they have a very social life/are Far from isolated and dependent on me. And I again hold no malice or desire to "ensnare" them in any way. But despite their approval, I can't help but to feel wicked, vile to a certain extent..

[@PsychologywithAntony]

Very important video! Thank you.

[@deviousj5868]

Grooming is trapping someone.

[@seanc6451]

Was groomed when I was 14 in middle school and wasn’t able to accept it until I was an adult. The other girl he groomed at the same time still doesn’t understand it was grooming

[@maytalacedo2942]

This is why parents sld be more aware when it comes to kids on iPads and watches everything and the parents letting this happen because online pretetors and online grooming can happen to any child or teens. Cyber-grooming is a huge issue that needs to be taken seriously.

[@Shamrockshame13....]

TWILIGHT!!!!!! Edward did this to Bella and Jacob isn’t any better!!!!

[@Dancing_dog-1]

In 7:17 you're telling me to show empathy for the groomed friend but how can I help my friend that's being groomed if the groomer is trying to keep me away from him as much as he can cuz he knows that I know what he's doing.

[@danieljoseph2617]

You need to find a trusted adult somehow, pray to the Lord for direction on what you should do and who you should talk to, God be with you

[@Kitty-Velour]

your friend needs to make the decision to leave, you can't make it for them. but, you can be there for them when they do leave. continue to send them information on grooming and manipulation, like this video. it could help open their eyes, but please believe, they won't leave until they are ready.

[@Dancing_dog-1]

@@Kitty-Velour I will work on that, thanks for the advice.

[@radoslavdimitrov7505]

I have been a groomer my whole life, heck, why did I choose to be this way...

[@Viperiidae]

I was groomed for a year until one of my friends who was also being groomed by the same person told me what was going on

[@joyjones6927]

Very informative, thank you!

[@dougwillis5069]

I am already self aware...but...escaping right now felt worser...had to hold on.

[@eomin]

It's tricky to prove or disprove grooming without solid evidence. Quite often, it just boils down to witness testimony. While memory lapses are common among victims of grooming, those are the only thing a defendant without alibi can bring up to prove his/her innocence. In private, showing empathy is important. But in court, evidence is all that should matter. Because believing the accuser unconditionally based on testimony or sympathy would just weaponize the judicial process. With more and more people crying wolf for personal benefit. Everyone deserves a fair process. No matter how damning the accusation, the goal in court should always be to determine the truth before determining judgement and punishment.

[@noweec]

I wish I saw this video when I was 13

[@ActualPontiac]

I was groomed and SA’d by my so called father only after 6 months from reconnecting with him. Some part of me still thinks it’s not his fault, but the other part of me is so angry with him. I’m only 15, and I was so attached to him bc he was gone for 12 years of my life. I miss him, I don’t miss him. I don’t know what to feel anymore. It just all hurts so much. But I’m getting the help I need. And God has always been a better father to me than my biological father has been in his entire life.

[@LawLu-930]

I have a suggestion for something I need help with, can you do something about the oldest daughter? For example “10 signs being the oldest is mentally affecting you” or “10 signs of why you might feel too pressured as the oldest” but you don’t have to I’m sure I can figure it out on my own. 😅

[@JuguitodeUwU555]

Keep talking about this, please!