7 Signs Of Attachment Trauma, Not "LOVE"

[@Psych2go]

We have a PSA in the community tab. Can you see if it you have time? Thanks! 😊

[@SceneKingXD]

I’m only 1 minute in and this describes me exactly 😂

[@AididEsfahanaidid]

okey

[@slymor4182]

I can relate to a lot of this, i feel like i love my best friend but i do overthink constantly about her, i think i might be more obsessed and dealing with attachment trauma, i dont want our relationship to break appart, but i need to learn how to live by myself and to love myself a bit more i think

[@atheenaaeris]

​@@slymor4182 huh, same here honestly....

[@thedotgiver2820]

.

[@aggytheslob7778]

The timing of this video is frighteningly on point for me.

[@iniminiplayzyt]

Honestly same

[@mekroplayz]

They somehow always are for me.

[@shaula6733]

Im literally crying right now cuz i just happened to have an argument with a friend of mine, then this came

[@Erenঐ]

Real

[@nikhilyadav8414]

Honestly it's like they are monitoring me

[@kleinmu219]

That calmness and lack of drama and chaos actually made me think it was not a healthy relationship...until I realised that it was an invitation to heal.

[@Psych2go]

It's amazing how healing can feel unfamiliar at first, especially when we're used to associating love with chaos. Recognizing the calm as an invitation to grow is such a powerful realization. How has this perspective shifted how you view relationships?

[@aliciagrey4382]

I feel this so much. It makes you question yourself and your reactions in the situations. It's like they are following the script as they are supposed to and you don't even know how to read and panic.

[@jeffracarpenter2032]

Same, and then it went sideways 😢

[@reggzofficial]

Preach sis

[@Itzme_Shinyyy]

Timestamps: 1:13 You feel incomplete without them 1:54 You have an intense fear of abandonment 2:42 You struggle with setting boundaries 3:32 You mistake anxiety for passion 4:03 You feel responsible for their emotions 4:40 You think about them obsessively 5:18 You need constant reassurance Hope this helps❤ Know that you deserve love and care, I am sorry if you are going thru this...

[@Moonlight-su6kl]

Aww ☺️ thank you for your kind words.

[@SergieRachmaninoff]

Man, that about sums up my previous relationship.

[@disciple_zero]

​@@SergieRachmaninofffeel ya man

[@walaashbasatneh5351]

Thank you!

[@lawrup]

​@@Moonlight-su6klI think about my girlfriend because ahe wants to be. Lawer That's why I glaot about her

[@NurtureCooper]

As a trauma survivor and severely neglected child (who is dysfunctional as an adult now), it's important to also note that the side effects of being neglected and abused can lead you to having vastly different views of what a "healthy" relationship is, and when you get an actually healthy relationship, that expectation of a "healthy" relationship might lead you to self-sabotage it, ruining it for yourself because you don't believe that what you're experiencing is "healthy" (since you're used to abuse/neglect/violence/ect)

[@janeymers7154]

Im on the other side of this and openly brought these sabotage on the table. But in a caring and loving way, that she was just putting on her "armour". She admitted she wasnt sure why she did these but that she never fully trusted anyone and so learned to let people in veeeeery slowly. By understanding such patterns stemming from past trauma, unhelathy relationships etc. i could be more empathetic and also not take as much of an hit to my ego. I firmly believe these are signs she is actually healing, and the occasions are also becoming very rare now. I feel her trust growing in parallel. Its a process but she is a gem and I gladly take the occasional hit. They are her growing pains, and im not perfect too. If I can give you a hardfelt advice: be open about past trauma. Dont go into detail, but help your partner understand that sometimes you are just repeating patterns and want to heal together. A caring partner will understand and go the way with you. I dont believe in all the "spend time alone til your healed" stuff. No one will ever fully heal from past hurt and we will always have problems to solve or personal growth to do. Why not rise together?

[@kbellaperez1655]

Unexpectedly, I recognize both sides to my relationship. I realized that I was doing some of the things associated with attachment trauma. but at the same time I recognized that with my partner, I am able to feel that genuine love. I guess I’ll take that as a sign that I need to do more self healing and not tie my anxieties to my relationship. Thank you for sharing this information, it really helps!

[@JesusFreak141110]

I’m LITERALLY going through this RIGHT NOW and it’s interesting how this came up as something to watch on my front page. This DEFINITELY resonates with me!!

[@alexlovehall7796]

Me too

[@Psych2go]

Isn't it wild how the right message finds you at the perfect time? It sounds like you’re in the middle of some big realizations-sending you lots of strength as you navigate through it! What part of the video hit home the most for you?

[@alexlovehall7796]

@@Psych2go the intrusive thoughts and fear of abandonment. Also just hearing about the the trauma part as a whole

[@eliben4066]

It doesn’t matter whom I fall in love with, I feel this. And it’s frustrating, really fucking frustrating, cause it’s like the universe is telling me I don’t deserve love. I have never felt more chemistry with a girl than with the one I’m talking to rn, and the thought of this being just attachment trauma is depressing. I just want a relationship like everyone else

[@Resident_Kriegsman]

Ify, Your echo is echoed

[@beeankha]

Just go slow. Maintain a sense of self.

[@clairesalem8262]

Develop a strong sense of self and faith. Repeat affirmations I am enough and I will be ok with or without her because I take care of myself and some higher being created me and loves me. It helps to practice imagining the worst case scenario has happened and your life is not over and you are ok and remind me yourself it's just a relationship not the be all and end all of survival for me being with you. That way you can feel confident when you look her in the eyes and say from your heart you love her. Because it's no longer about your survival it's about your beautiful true love for each other and sharing the journey of life together. This helps me and I hope it helps you. Best wishes.

[@e-man-n6k]

@@clairesalem8262i wonder how different things would be if i was told this earlier.

[@clairesalem8262]

@@e-man-n6k Shoulda woulda coulda but don't worry, everything happens in perfect timing. Maybe the time is right for you now, with practice. Just don't beat yourself up about the past. What's done is done. It was understandable after what you been through and you can take from it that was a learning curve. Make the best of it now. (My advice is for myself as well. I hope it's helpful)

[@artinrohani6741]

The timing on this… it’s too exhausting to deal with these emotions constantly

[@shaula6733]

I get it dude, just know you're not alone, typing this while crying over the argument i had with (related to the topic of this video oof) so yeah, u're not alone and it's tiring

[@artinrohani6741]

@ sending much love and hugs 🤗!! As another human I believe you’re amazing and that you have to try to realize that for yourself. The only way is to love yourself, I figured this out recently after my heart was broken. If it would make you feel better you can vent about your argument with as much or as little detail as you want!

[@Inchard]

it is, I feel the same way

[@HereBecauseImBored]

​@@shaula6733My prayers man 🙏

[@leafy6021]

Would love a video from yall about the inherent trauma autistic kids get growing up and how this affects us in adulthood!

[@someguy2682]

I have all of these things going on, but I love the guy. It's fully possible to be in a good relationship but have these types of problems. And for those of you with low reading comprehension, that means that you can have a partner who doesn't know how you're feeling while all of this is going on in head, but wouldn't hold it against you and/or would be willing to work through your issues with you. It's not someone who is actively attempting to manipulate you or your feelings.

[@Seojin-r4h]

I'm scared bc my boyfriend has all of these plus I know he's rlly scared of abandonment, now idk if he actually loves me or just has attachment trauma😭 like sometimes when we have small arguments he's sometimes scared ill leave but he says it's because in his past relationships the problem we had would've ended the relationship

[@DonutMan._.123]

This is just.. wow. Ive been feeling very, VERY conflicted with my emotions. And all of the stuff in this video is exactly how I feel and act with my partner. Constant worry that they might be cheating, or my brain gets flooded when I feel like I did something wrong to upset them. But yet I cant leave them since they make me happy. Since around them I feel complete, a lot more healthy and i just become exactly my full self. Because sometimes a partner doesnt fill up a void in your heart... but put a bandage on the wounds that have been bleeding for years. So please, if you have the same struggles as me or.. basically EVERYONE here. Talk to your partner about it. I know its scary but it is good for the both of you to communicate. Your partner will probably understand this and you two will figure this out together. You arent alone in this god forsaken world even if it feels like it. Stay safe out there.

[@semayraoneal8304]

tysm for sharing this. I am super scared of even the thought of getting into a relationship or just talking stage bcs that's exactly how I'd be like they're shown in this video or how you explained... and i JUST found out through this video that it's a trauma response and i thought i wasn't normal and the only one feeling or more struggling with this. I'm sorry my english is not the best but just even reading the line that i'm not alone in this brought me a sense of relief and safety.. Thank you.. And i hope you and your partner found ways how to solve not only yours but each others struggles and problems. Sending lots of love and hugs to you.

[@PJnguyendelmundo]

I just lost my marriage when we had a wedding this June 8, and I've been struggling with figuring out why and what contributed to my mental breakdown that caused my 11-year relationship to end. This video explains it so well. Thank you for posting this. It helps me feel seen.

[@Myaaaaaa670]

❤❤❤

[@Psych2go]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Ending an 11-year relationship, especially after such a big milestone, must be incredibly painful. It’s brave of you to reflect and seek understanding during such a hard time. You’re not alone in this, and I hope you continue finding comfort and clarity as you heal. Sending you strength.

[@bluzbrother]

I have been separated a couple years now, and my spouse just filed for divorce in November. 22 years since we met, and we were going to be married 20 years next June. This video hits the nail on the head. We definitely did not have a marriage built on trust or unconditional love. Sadly, I’m relegated to be being the guy to pay for her to maintain her standard of living. 25 years of paying a mortgage, with nothing to show for it. I felt something really strong for a woman I recently met, and it was very difficult to process the emotions. I realize now it is a projection of unresolved trauma and guilt. Thank you for this video, it really helps to put the pain into perspective and have an awareness I need to break the cycle. I don’t regret the lessons I’ve learned, just the avoidance of dealing with the problems in the first place.

[@sandiletwala3001]

I don't know love I don't know what love is. I still have bottled up trauma but I choose to bottle it up and just move on with my life without acknowledging my emotions and traumas. I just push people away and just continue to face adversity and life alone

[@October-v9c]

There are people you can speak to, although we don't know such traumas you have endured, we will try our best to comfort and reassure you.

[@MimiMimi-yt6mp]

I’m sorry to hear that.. ((Hugs))

[@sandiletwala3001]

@@October-v9c Thanks I guess

[@sandiletwala3001]

@@MimiMimi-yt6mp Thank you

[@slymor4182]

I can relate to what you say, i'm in a relationship with a girl and i feel like i might be dealing with attachment trauma more than i tought, i am trying to give her more space now but i often dont know what to do when i'm alone, take care Psych2Go ers

[@alexwander3426]

Reminder, if your partner is willingly encouraging your unhealthy attachment mindset…. THAT IS ABUSE! A good partner would encourage you to be better for yourself, to take care of yourself. They wouldn’t confirm your anxieties, they’d help you work through them. If your partner is confirming all your fears, run as far as you can. They’re using your trauma responses as a way to keep you with them. It is NOT your fault if your partner is taking advantage of your traumas. It is entirely theirs. Don’t ever blame yourself for getting trapped in a relationship where someone is manipulating you with the vulnerabilities they found within you.

[@pastapocha5708]

thats nice to hear

[@CardiBeaa]

This! 1million % right! Love is to lift each other up and not to brong someone down. I hate this notion love is loosing peace of mind.. love IS peace of mind!

[@PspTomisi]

Wow. The timing of me seeing this video couldnt be more perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, and because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistake and did all i could to make sure i got her back

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not

[@PspTomisi]

I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@PspTomisi]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@lorisunshine81]

I had all these in every relationship 😢 but after healing and learning this behavior I changed. I had to learn to love myself and know I'm worthy of Love. Boundaries were not part of past relationships. I'm happy alone I'm complete all by myself. I will never attach again. I've learned unconditional love is the way. If they leave I'm good with it because I actually love being alone now!!! I need no one to make me feel complete. 🤗🙏❤❤❤😊😁

[@Wendylirious]

on times of overwhelm, confusion, and hopelessness, this channel helps make everything easier to process reminds people that not every situation is win/lose or war, just that people function differently and this channel is only helping each other understand each other not really villain/victim, more emphasis on this is why that was hurtful, and this is why etc i am extremely grateful that understanding people exist and they think conflicts shouldn't be focused about who's more of a victim, but more about how to make peace

[@Psych2go]

Your words are so heartfelt-thank you for sharing this! It's beautiful how you see the bigger picture: understanding, not division. Focusing on empathy and resolution truly makes the world a kinder place. What’s something that’s helped you find peace in tough situations?

[@wizooking]

the timing is just ...

[@M_Feitosa7]

It happens a couple weeks ago for me

[@silknye]

lol same

[@beyzus68]

same :‘)

[@SHADOW-vg8rb]

Yep 😂 I feel it, I found this Channel when I originally realized I was going through it.

[@AC-ni4gt]

Perfect?

[@christinebridgman9148]

I experience 6/7 of these. I'm currently in therapy to address these deep wounds, my CPTSD, and how to develop my sense of self, which I feel is starting to work. I recommend looking into Internal Family Systems based therapy as I have found it actually addresses the core issues instead of using a band-aid approach (CBT & DBT - although DBT has been helpful with addressing thought patterns and how to cope with big emotions). We've got this gang!! I know we can get to the other side of healthy attachments and loving ourselves ❤

[@Psych2go]

It’s inspiring to hear how dedicated you are to your healing journey, and sharing what’s worked for you can be such a light for others going through similar struggles. Internal Family Systems sounds like a powerful approach to addressing those deeper wounds. You’re absolutely right-healing is a process, but we’re all in this together. Cheering you on as you keep building healthy attachments and self-love! ❤

[@andrewcastro8888]

You do got this! My love tried the band-aid approach due to her traumatic anxious abandonment past. I love her and miss her being on this earth. Please take any reassurance people around you are giving you. They genuinely mean it and care for you and want you to be the person you want to become. And please be honest and trust those close to you. I know it's scary. Their help will make all the difference. I believe in you and your journey.

[@MissSothePeacefulObserver]

Attachment trauma also creates a lot of episodes of limerence. So then it can be hard to tell if it's love, or an infatuation. We gotta build ourselves up, work on our own self esteem. We can't control what others do, or how they feel about us. We can only control what we do in our own lives. As a life long "caregiver personality" with severe abandonment issues, and a martyr complex due ro childhood trauma, I used to be way too accomidating of others I dated, but never got the same suppoet in return. So then I got treated poorly due to not setting certain boundaries early on. I always wanted to be the "low maintenance" girlfriend. We teach people how to treat us, if we don't treat ourselves better. Stay single and work on yourself first. That's the only way things change.

[@Sodabowski]

You nailed it big time, Missy.

[@MilanAlt-g7s]

I am there too. time to work

[@gawdzilla7]

Period.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing your journey-it’s so relatable and insightful. It’s true that boundaries and self-respect are game-changers when healing from attachment trauma. Becoming the person who values themselves first can feel like a long road, but it’s also the most rewarding one. What’s one thing that helped you start prioritizing yourself?

[@trwn87]

This video is literally me! I'm trying, though the lack of reference makes it very hard to obtain. I'd like to add another point here, namely pessimism towards relationships: Constantly assuming the very worst will certainly happen and you have to fight it. This is rooted in fear of uncertainty (dating back to inconsistency) and in the deeply ingrained idea that life is inherently against you (rooted in trauma). Otherwise an on-point collection of the main differences, thank you!

[@Fr3cklee]

I really needed this thankyou. I’ve had struggled with this with my friend and it got super toxic for me. I had my other friend make me realise it :)

[@Wolfegirl24]

The timing on this is so real I have been having these problems for years with my family and now as I’ve grown up, it’s so hard to bear. I went from being sheltered as a child to being chastised when I don’t know how to do something.

[@Flame-leader]

This account and it’s videos are so important to me

[@_XRMissie]

I guess making myself permanently unavailable was the right call. It's time to accept I'm incapable of healthy love because despite how hard I've tried for many many years, I'm not healing.

[@Sodabowski]

Or maybe you didn't get the proper guidance. Time to check out the videos of that topic here. You'll make it through, be faithful in your self-worth!

[@Sodabowski]

PS : feminism is a lie.

[@victoriavictoria4781]

I think I need to do the same

[@billpetersen298]

Permanently incapable? Are you 96 years old?

[@billpetersen298]

If you laughed, that’s a good sign.

[@Raining_Eggs]

Looking over the signs and how I act around my crush, I’m slowly realizing it might not be a crush…

[@Sodabowski]

Have you looked into the vids about how God will show you your future spouse? I wasn't a big believer before it happened to me in 2007.

[@Raining_Eggs]

@ I’m not extremely religious, but I’ll give them a go ^^

[@LoudYapper]

Same here

[@Poetry4Peace]

🤮🤢 ​@@Sodabowski

[@WeDoWellness]

I never thought I would be moved to tears from this video... 😢

[@auroraideas4409]

This was an amazing video. This was affirmation that my psychology in relationships is actually normal, but it also helped me realize the difference between attachment trauma and true love. The affirmation that true safety and anxiety isn’t just caused by me, but also caused by the reciprocation, or lack thereof, by my girlfriend, was important in eliminating my uncertainty of my analysis of the situation. It takes two to tango, and actions and words have consequences. It is vitally important that we are comfortable with ourselves before committing to romantic relationships and that we try not to take things personally based on how others behave, but also be cognizant of the importance of compassion for ourselves and our significant others.

[@cadenisforeverbored1612]

i’ve never felt a love that isn’t like this. there’s more to the goodness than this but it’s interesting, i do my best to keep space so these aspects aren’t as strong but a sense of them are always there

[@jadeangelos5653]

I was raised in a family of narcissists; unconditional love didn't exist with them for me. When I was younger, I felt every single one of these signs in even just friendships. After a long time in therapy, some of these signs are finally starting to resolve, though others really still like to shine through. This helped me realize both that I've come a long way and that I still have a ways to go to heal.

[@LawAbidingSociopath69]

you got this!

[@godzillamanstreb524]

I’ve been trying very hard to heal attachment trauma for almost 10 yrs….it’s a process, but can be done💯❣️

[@rexia6489]

Timing of this video is crazy… I broke up with a girl three weeks ago; she was head over heels with me and i loved her a lot, I still have strong feelings for her. Everything in this video encapsulates the problems I had in the relationship and now I wonder if she ever even loved me or she had attachment trauma. The beginning of our relationship, I had to keep saying I still loved her, but didn’t think much of it. She would argue about it a lot and we had a lot of talks about it, but she still did it. After this I always had to prove I loved her or she complained, to the point I sacrificed my social life for us through our whole relationship, just to have more time together; even searched for jobs with less hours and ran for the earliest bus so I can spend more time with her, which was incredibly draining. I sent her flowers every month and wrote poems, genuinely trying to show i care. Unfortunately it was just never appreciated and she always wanted more; not physical stuff; but more time and attention. It did feel like a second job, to the point i needed a lot of breaks to cope with it. She now says im a coward for running away from everything with said breaks, but now that I think about it she was just too overbearing and i needed time away to stay calm and relax, have some me time and enjoy what i like; since i didnt have time for me when it was an 'us'. Funny thing is she says I didn’t love her more than she loved me because the butterflies in her stomach never went away. She still says I didn’t love her enough… I made the mistake of confessing that i still had feelings for her this morning and realised after our conversation when i read it back, she had a lot of red flags and i felt ready to move on feeling its for the best for me. Things like judging me for how i use my money for new tech or caring about how family orientated I am after only 6 months of dating. I loved her a lot, but its not like we are married; why does she care ? I was still there for her when she needed me, dropping everything as realistically as I could just to keep her smiling. At the time i thought she always needs to be a victim to something and right now its me; there was always something she was sad about that i needed to comfort her or care for; things she could easily fix but just sat and cried about instead, like making friends at uni. But now I think in terms of the relationship, she had attatchment trauma and it stressed me out a lot. Im glad we broke up, im happy shes able to move on and now its time i do the same. Very enlightening video and great for helping me move on :) Ty Psych2Go !

[@madymilian1647]

I relate to many of those feelings, maybe not one to one, but i always appreciate those vulnerable stories. Its a good reminder that im not alone with my shit. The human condition is rough sometimes, but theres all the beauty. I wish you good luck on your new Path!!!

[@rexia6489]

@@madymilian1647 ty :) i think when i realised my best wasnt enough i should have ended it instead of over-compromising... started messaging old friends i pushed away to give my ex more time and its been great to feel wanted rather than expected :D definitely a beauty to being around good people :)

[@nikovol555]

The timing... Maybe I talk too much, but i feel like there's a lot of us, who are like me in this story, and i want to tell my story, you'll know why soon. I've just recently broke up, and this was... just too much for me to handle. It was much closer to s**cide than i would like to admit. We both knew it was going to happen, but the very thought of it was a taboo for me. I wanted to believe it was the eternal alliance of two souls that everyone's talking about. It didn't took too much time for me to get paranoid, cause it would mean it's game over for me, until... We sat down, and discussed our situation. We're just friends now. And just when you'd think it's going to be sad story - something wonderful happened. In just a night of small-talk with my friend i realised that... It's not really THE end. It' AN end, an end to the love that really wasn't what it seemed. I discussed my values with my friend and... We found out that there is a way, that my past relationship isn't the only purpose in life, we found strength to move on. And so big shoutout to all of you, who thought that it would be the end, or who think that your relationship (that sometimes may be just a mask for our old wounds) defines you, that it's the sole purpose. It really isn't, and i hope you all could find the light in your darkest hour, just like i did. Please remember that you're not alone in your struggles, and although life may be really difficult at times, the metaphorical "night" is not eternal, and the sun will shine down on you again. Best of luck to you all ❤

[@WhimsicalWildcat-c3z]

Well played, sir. Last night was fun. Keep pushing.

[@fluffmcnugget2428]

I swear ur videos always come through when I feel like reaching out but it’s not love it’s attachment trauma thanks to ur videos and therapy I’m getting through 1 day at a time

[@helena2738]

Wow, it is crazy how accurately this describes how I am feeling in my relationship. As my partner has more of an avoidant attachment style and always deals with his emotions on his own or lets his suppressed emotions burst out in anger tantrums, I feel completely depressed right now. I hope that when I go back to this video in some months, I will be healing from this relationship and feel more light again

[@NidoKnight]

I have no idea how you guys keep consistently doing this but your video schedule has been dead-on with all my current problems in life. I’m as impressed as I am creeped out towards your impeccable timing.

[@Psych2go]

It’s like we’ve got a psychic connection, right? Honestly, life has its way of aligning things just when we need them most. Glad the timing worked out-hope the videos keep helping you navigate through it all! 💙

[@bunnywabbit5325]

This video came a weirdly perfect time for me. I got out of my relationship with a toxic ex a few months ago, and i can see both of us having some of these traits. But now I'm getting into a new relationship and I dont feel *any* of these traits and it honestly has made me happy

[@KnifeTail]

Ohhhhh.. so that’s why the only person I love I constantly worry about.. makes sense.

[@Grantin-w8m]

I love watching these videos that have nothing to do with me. Learning about other peoples struggles is a great way to built empathy!

[@victoriaevelyn3953]

It all makes sense to me now I have attachment trauma every single one of these has occurred in all my short relationships

[@sakinhossain9226]

Ohh man. I didn't know that I have experienced attachment trauma. A lot. Thanks for making video about it.

[@EmmaBennett2023]

this video/channell helps me a lot. im 14 and i didnt have a good dad growing up and he was barely there. i relate (sadly) to all of these. thank you for this this has made me understand myself more.

[@l.abuddy23]

I hate how I wasted this person time. I wasn't prepared to experience so much anxiety, let alone attachment trauma. Which I wasn't even aware of before hand. This video solidify my thoughts about myself more, thank you for helping me understand myself more.

[@andreamisc]

the fact that this popped up on my feed when i just came in a relationship with someone

[@Noltie]

In all fairness, love and attachment trauma can both occur next to each other

[@waslias]

Thanks!!! I was just gonna say...do I have to split up with my boy-friend now, because I repeatedly feel some of these things, and it means that I can't love ? (naturally I wouldn't do that just because of a video)

[@nuez23747]

Love is not enough if you get abused or exploited

[@jayredz7807]

My beloved passed away suddenly. We were trauma bonded. I've never felt so confused

[@pastapocha5708]

im so sorry. take care and keep dancing

[@victoriavictoria4781]

😢😢😢

[@Psych2go]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing someone you were deeply connected to, even through shared pain, can leave you feeling so lost and disoriented. It’s okay to feel confused-grief is never a straight line. Take things one moment at a time, and be gentle with yourself as you navigate this. You’re not alone. 💙

[@janardhangowda1025]

I am going through this in my friendship, and this video popped up at the right time 😭. However, after watching it, nothing changed for me; instead, it just made me agree with the points presented .🙂🙃

[@limoomar9149]

I'll share this with people, I think most people ought to hear this! Thanks for this!

[@dianaveronica85]

Perfect timing ! The very first point made me pause the video and take a step back, like Whoa !

[@dragonwatch2907]

Some of these could also be due to having borderline personality disorder which is important to get diagnosed. I got diagnosed with BPD (sub type quiet) and my love style is just like attachment trauma.

[@Kazwens]

This timing couldn’t be more perfect.. I’m sick of being in toxic relationships that I ultimately attach to.. my fear of abandonment (more like fear of dying alone), and need for reassurance plus anxiety have all caused me to be clingy and I needed to hear this. I’m taking some time for myself to heal and be better

[@papercoolcat]

We bonded over the fact that my friends whom I had been close to for 10+ years couldn't stand to watch me rip myself apart over another relationship. She was accepting of me and took me in and helped me through the trauma of losing essentially my entire family. And then came the control, the blame, and the isolation. My friends weren't warning me about getting into another relationship, they were warning me about her, and unfortunately, she successfully manipulated me away from them because I was vulnerable. 9 months of abuse later I finally broke free but OH MAN that was rough. Attachment Trauma, trauma bonding, etc, SUCKS. Sympathy for anyone going through it, because I know how hard it is for people on the outside of it to understand what you're really going through, and also how hard it is to leave.

[@Enma_8246]

This channel just shows my miserable life.😂 (I realised this thing just a month ago by just thinking about it and I started to change the way I was . And my mental health is better now)

[@Psych2go]

It sounds like you’ve had a big “aha” moment recently, and look at you already making changes that are helping your mental health-huge win! Sometimes facing those truths feels rough, but it’s amazing how much better things can get when we take those first steps. Keep going, you’re doing awesome! 😂❤

[@Enma_8246]

​@@Psych2go i appreciate it. Thank you for your time. ❤

[@ValentinaManifestsLove]

I'm 25 and for the past 10 years all the relationships i've been have definitely been attachment trauma, according to this video. Some have been visibly toxic (like really cold and indifferent Men and me chasing them) and sadly others have been harder to recognize (like my latest partner who many times made me feel safe and wanted and helped me grow but other times we had constant toxic and disrespectful fights). I'm tired of attracting trauma bonds or codependent relationships, I promised myself that i'm going to be single for at least 2 years to fully heal and love myself before dating someone again. I really hope I have the strength to fulfill that promise

[@propheccy]

damn girl I'd date you for that insight and realisation. that depth of differentiation is key, because thats how you learn and advance. keep up the good work and faith. god speed!

[@ValentinaManifestsLove]

@propheccy what a beautiful comment thank you 😭❤️

[@adamwarlock2099]

Not trying to be the rescuer in my relationships has always been the most difficult for me. Every romantic relationship I've been in, including my marriage, even platonic ones, crushes, and my first (and God I hope only) limerent episode I had have all been attached to wanting to be the rescuer. I can relate to the other points in varying degrees. But being the rescuer is my worst one.

[@ThatLoveCouple]

Usually people who are very empathetic and caring can have an inclination to take on the role of the rescuer... We believe that when we understand and accept that no one is a victim and no one can need saving, we allow ourselves and others to be real and this way we use our empathy to help others without losing ourselves and compromising our relationships 😊😊

[@kanashii69]

Thank You so much for this highly informative video. I have personally experienced everything cited in this video. It has been a journey of personal growth for me to break through my own trauma. I have also experienced the same type of behavior from past relationships. I pray that everyone finds the strength to find their way towards healing themselves first before committing themselves to anyone. You can't pour from an empty cup.

[@LouisOnVerdancy]

This was such a good video. As someone who has to deal and still currently is dealing with this myself it can become so hard for someone who's been inside the box of a situation to handle with the stress of attachment. Thanks for the information. It really means a lot when you educate your audience knowing that someone out there needs the help like I do. ❤

[@Jack-re3qd]

The timing is crazy, I thought I was just a reeeeally invested partner...

[@somebody9094]

Love is an easily followable mistress who is ready to make a fool out of anybody who believes in her

[@saintantonio3120]

I just recently got out of relationship at the start of this year and a lot of of the points you brought up resonated with how things turned into now all I can wish is truly the best for my partner as they go on with their life

[@thalmoragent9344]

Oof. Yeah, the emotional development of the formative child years definitely plays a large part in this, glad you covered it 🙏🏾

[@xeveronivy]

A while ago I meet someone that's exactly just like this. Even before I entered such relationship with this person, I already noticed the pattern where it will go. I wasn't sure at first because I already healed and I don't want to be the same anymore, so I decided to enter the relationship. It's not a mistake but I can learn something from this. Even this person constantly blaming me for their emotions or always want reassurance, never believe with everything I say (they said they believe me but their actions says different). Never blame other people for your problems, because we are human, we are not perfect. Mistakes can happen but if constantly blaming without changing then there something is wrong with you and you have to change it for the better.

[@mareepthepokemon1102]

I just got out of my first serious relationship that was incredibly toxic, I'm still realizing and coming to terms with what went wrong and how to avoid it in the future. I appreciate your videos for opening my mind to new ways of thinking and healing 🙂

[@mrrocknroll5284]

This is literally something I needed 2 months ago

[@dhillon_0020]

Thanks for this video. Kept me from going on the wrong path with this beautiful thing I am starting for the first time in my life. Here's hoping she says yes (The signs are good).

[@sushmithaemandi4196]

I never used to understand what's actually happening with me.... But these videos are helping me to understand myself.... And the voice in every video is really very calming... Thank you for coming up with this idea to make KZbin videos...

[@yumpatMEOW]

I am so happy that this is the first time I don't feel I need to finish a video cause I already know the answers! Thank you so much Psycho2Go and people in the comments sharing their experiences/feelings/opinions. I wouldn't have made so much progress without you all

[@teenieweeniemimie]

Love that this video has found me in a space where I'm learning to heal and understand myself and how I connect to others. Glad I can take the time to teach myself to love others and step away from the trauma somehow

[@cameronholmes7424]

3:07 Love is most definitely conditional, especially in a romantic sense. The behavior, actions, and how they make us feel implying that love is not entirely given freely without any expectations of said person. When you first felt for said person, it was based on condition they were attractive with certain traits you deemed desirable.

[@CantaloupeMuncher]

These videos are so accurately timed and I'm here for it

[@countcampula]

Idk that thumbnail is pretty intimate. That's my love language for sure.

[@annvandegrift9753]

I want to add that just because a lover triggers your wounds doesn't mean your connection is toxic. I know from experience that when you communicate and work through those wounds you can work toward being securely attached and have a healthy connection. What matters is that you are willing to work toward developing a healthy relationship that has a balance of healthy dependence and independence.

[@Nagitsujifam]

So many people in the same place as me right now. The timing of this being recommended for me is crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy on point. Stop listening to my life phone

[@manojkoirala898]

I was standing at a point where I was doubting whether the other person actually liked me. The timing of this video is uncanny, I can't believe I checked all the boxes now I definitely know I have attachment trauma 😅

[@Kenny-21-x8t]

Thank you psych2Go for all ur videos, including this one . They help us to deal with something we deal with everyday, our mental health especially when no one is their to help us deal with it

[@fuze3522]

Yeah.. been there, done that. This video is exactly how i’ve felt before.. i was so scared of losing him that it didn’t let me see that the relationship wasn’t even healthy.. the last 2 months were a toxic mess of emotions. But i can’t tell what’s worse, that.. or being alone.

[@Taurusboy07]

I have this issue due to being abandoned throughout my life. I have been single for over 14 years now. I have been working hard on trying to feel complete alone so that I won’t bear the burden of unhealthy attachment issues.

[@Sojikoy]

I've been through this type of situation before, but I've never seen a friend with so much fear that he comes to me for advice. I really appreciate it that he comes to me - however, it still hurts me when he starts to break down or starts fearing for the worst of situations.

[@MpenduloXMpumi]

I'm happy to say after years of therapy and working on myself I now differentiate between the two. This channel has been helpful ❤

[@vico3887]

i think you can genuinely love someone and have attachment issues… i don’t know why it’s framing this as if your trauma prevents you from genuinely loving someone rather than your trauma making it harder to build healthy distance and lack of coping techniques straining relationships. having trauma doesn’t mean you are incapable of having or finding love. it just means your hurting your self or your partner in your need to feel the way you think your supposed to

[@XIVDock]

I think being able to identify the situations and characteristics of feelings based in trauma attachment and real love is important for exactly this reason. If you can understand prior experiences it can help you be self aware about why you might feel or behave a certain way and make intentional changes (hopefully for the better). The last few years of my dating experience have done more to create attachment issues than most things I can point out from my childhood, but I know that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of genuine love. I think most people’s experience with this is likely not black and white, but somewhere in the middle.

[@kellywoo5617]

u have no idea how badly I needed this video - thank u psych2go 🥺😔💝

[@mirohulsmann1811]

I was just about to cry becouse someone i love left, but seeing this helps me think of myself in a different way...

[@ky_439.]

„Love should feel secure, where arguments don’t automatically spell the end“ This hit me, I was afraid all the time, because she did, she left for things she did but always tried to manipulate me into me believing it was my fault. She always came back. I was do dumb to recognize this pattern, it certainly did something with me, till this day

[@Abi.Bercerita]

I just finished watch "It Ends with Us" and searched on google about trauma and suddenly appeared notification about this video, wow 😮

[@QwinDuncan]

Thank you this helped a lot and helped me figure out I had attachment trauma but I’ve been getting better

[@hassaanalisiddiqui3827]

Thank you so much for this ❤❤❤

[@OnlyYato]

The key thing I will say is make sure you understand when the person you're with doesnt let that grow back again. I went years of emotional neglect and I came out trying to navigate my emotions and get a better understanding of myself which in turn made me feel a lot more comfortable with myself and accept who I am. The problem I found after was getting into a relationship which brought it all back. Even 9 months later from my ex I'm still trying to heal and even though its not from square one anymore, its not that much higher.

[@Misha-k5h]

This video came just when I was thinking of my boyfriend. These days I had been feeling like I should break up with him and all because I had been feeling like I have attachment trauma and this video, it just confirms my doubts

[@Berkeozbeek]

This video seriously found me just on time. I will say it again: I didnt find it, it found me.

[@noahgmorgan]

Alright, spend almost the entire video explaining what is going wrong vs how to actually improve 🙃 This worsens my fears, thanks.

[@HarryCline11]

Thanks a lot, this problem seriously held me back

[@dayjelly1767]

Man, watching this is making me realize that I truly did fall in love with someone. I was hoping that I can pin it as a trauma bond or obsession so I can deal with my heartbreak easier.

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). You feel incomplete without them 1:13 2). You hve an intense fear of abandonment 1:52 3). You struggle with setting boundaries 2:41 4). You mistake anxiety for passion 3:27 5). You feel responsible for their emotions 4:01 6). You think about them obsessively 4:37 7). You need constant reassurance 5:16 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@MsLanie]

I have often had many of these problems, not only in relationships, but also in friendships. Today, I mostly struggle with setting healthy boundaries.

[@darthvader473]

Idk why I'm so into these therapy type vids. But I'm glad I am. Tbh. I ain't complaining.

[@KyleVoices]

I’ve definitely felt some of these in the past but I think my most recent ex felt these the most. I’m starting to wonder if she ever loved me. And to be honest, believing that she didn’t sort of helps. At least it’s not as awful as her falling out of love with me. She confused trauma responses for those feelings. I can forgive her for that.

[@jeramahia123]

I used to be feel depressed because I didn't start dating until my mid twenties. I didn't feel confident enough in myself to date. But seeing what almost everyone else has gone through in toxic relationships has made me grateful because I probably would have just ended up in toxic relationships.

[@wishtyme]

I resonated with every single point… the timing on this video is crazy. What are some steps I can take to improve?

[@Squidgeeeee]

id like to know too

[@marcelomonteiro375]

"Perfection" defines this video: subject, explanations, illustration and narration.