What Highly Sensitive People need to truly be happy | ft. HSP expert Esther Bergsma

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Huge thanks to Esther for coming on the channel! 🍵 I'd love to hear all your thoughts and questions in the comments. 🤗💕❤

[@quietlife7186]

A HUGE thanks to YOU Vera for everything that you do to bring awareness and comfort and compassion to the HSP community!!! Watching your videos has been and continues to be a tremendous blessing to me!!! 🩵

[@rosemarywilliams9969]

If you have a sister who is an introvert type but your the extrovert type, how do you connect with them without feeling like your being needy and not disrupting there alone space which they value? It's like I'm trying to be around someone who understands to feed my isolation, but they are trying to distance themselves from family to feed their own needs😅 I try to laugh about to myself because I get it but at the same time I get so down my agoraphobia has gotten worse.

[@ruby.27]

Wow I thought that I wasn't Hsp because i didn't feel like I hear or smell more things than others (and can't get angry easily) but with that video I realised that there are so many links with what I experienced and especially when I was a kid, I didn't understand others at all 'o' And the specific network makes so much sense for me. Thank you so much, I'm realising that there is a lot of my thoughts that I treat like "oh that's just because I have a weird and irrational brain, in fact that's not that true for others so I'll do like it's nothing ". For example I have so much anxiety about ecology and everytime I go to the city center i get really sad about all the things that can be improved but are not and because I know others would not think about that I erase these thoughts and think that it's dumb to think things that make me feel bad so I thought I needed to change all my way of thinking. Sorry my comment is long and it could have a lot of mistakes because I'm French. '-' Good day

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Thank you for the invitations Vera. Loved to talk to you.

[@frockinj]

Thank you Vera and Esther! Especially on what positives HSPs bring to employers! 💕

[@Peace-tk3gr]

Since 2009 I go and relax in my car at lunch time. There is a great sense of relief when I get into my car and close the door. The 'basement' parking is darker and quieter than an open plan office. I highly value my privacy, and escaping from fluorescent lights (so unnatural for humans) and incessant noise with lots of people, is vital for me.

[@lucybrown1490]

I hear your on the fluorescent lights!

[@TamaraJoy7]

Yes! I am a tutor at a primary school and during recess and lunch, I never go to the busy noisy staff room. I just have a kettle and tea supplies in my class room and hang out there to recharge in private. It’s absolutely necessary and allows me to be my best once the school bells rings for the next sessions!

[@janetstraw191]

I did the same thing for the same reasons! 🙋‍♀️🥰🇺🇸

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I totally get that! 🤗💕🌳

[@ineshohne4614]

Before work i sit in my car, close my eyes, eat a banana in silence..it's the stillness before the" storm", a little reset to get in the mood and the power for the next task...and in crowded situations i take my time to get adapted to the situation, standing still, breathe, watch people walking by and then get into movement, instead of rushing into the situation and getting overwhelmed

[@LisaM.601]

Vera, although this was your first interview, you did a fabulous job! I didn't realize being an HSP was an actual thing until I joined this community. I just always knew I was different from others, and this made me feel like there was something wrong with me. When everyone else was going to concerts, football matches in huge stadiums and constantly booking activities back-to-back, it sounded great, but participating made me feel miserable, irritable and anxious. What I took away from this interview was all the beautiful traits we have as HSPs. Living more slowly, we're able to be more reflective and thoughtful about ourselves, others and our experiences. We feel deeply and notice the beauty in things like music and art, but we also see the beauty in people and in our everyday experiences, like taking a break for journaling, thinking, having a cup of tea and some quiet time. In this community, I feel understood, supported and empowered so thank you to everyone here. Thank you to Vera and to Esther Bergsma for this wonderful conversation 💛

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Love that so much, thank you!! 🤗💕💕💕

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Thank you. So happy to hear that you see your HSP talents better now.

[@niciacruz]

hsp isn't a thing, autism is.

[@lynnmichelle5482]

​@@niciacruz well neuroscience says it is, so maybe just accept it and move on and don't worry about what doesn't effect you.

[@simoneclarke5104]

It can be a wonderful thing to feel so deeply. Last year my husband and I were in a restaurant in Havana and 2 opera singers (waiters) burst into spontaneous song, I was so moved that I started to cry. I didn’t know at that time I was a HSP, and I felt like a weirdo at my response. Now I understand all my “quirks”.

[@Sofia-bd3ej]

I am HSP who suffers with anxiety. This kind of videos help me feel not alone.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're not alone 🤗🌹

[@niciacruz]

look for autism, then.

[@ajt0319]

This interview was a beautiful gift as are all the HSPs. I once had a couple of friends, each such opposites, one quite obviously an HSP and the other person literally tore her down one day. The HSP confided this to me and then tried to brush it off - exclaiming that surely she was “just” being overly sensitive. I replied that she was not being too sensitive and that this world needs all of the sensitive beings we can get. She lit up like a dark cloud had been lifted from her. We gave each other a big hug and both of us left the conversation feeling deep gratitude for each other.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

That sounds like a really meaningful moment for the both of you 🥰

[@NintenJon64]

I’m halfway through at the moment, but I wanted to pause for a moment to say thank you so much Vera for interviewing Esther and asking her about the men who are HSPs, like myself. It really helps us feel more seen because we are always inundated with this image of masculinity that just doesn’t align with who we are.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're so welcome! 🤗🍵 I thought it would be a very important thing to talk about. 😊

[@NatalieWeidner-q1u]

It is a very important issue to discuss,and I'm glad you did. 😀😃😄😂🤣😭😍🥰😊 Thank you! 🙏

[@RuselaHaydon]

I am so grateful for the HSP men I've met in my long life. They have been a beautiful balance to the rough-edged aggressive males who dominate. I have always loved being with HSP of both genders. We make sense to each other.

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

I breaks my heart everytime I hear the HSP men feel not appreciated. So important to know you just have different talents.

[@Margriet811]

I’m glad you’re here. Please feel welcome! It’s important to know that being a HSP isn’t just a ‘girl-thing’. And I think men who are a HSP and show up for it are extremely strong. They dare to swim against the current by doing so.

[@sheenalee7602]

Thank you for this video. I'm a highly sensitive person and when I was a child I was constantly being told that I need to "toughen up", "have thicker skin", etc. And I spent so much of my life wondering why couldn't I be like others however that's not how I process things. I get overstimulated easily, overwhelmed, and I need a few minutes to myself to decompress from tasks. As I go through this journey called life, I'm learning that being sensitive is not a bad thing despite growing up feeling like it was. My unique sensitive quality is the way I see things. I see the beauty in the way the sun rays may light up a tree in autumn or the shimmer of the ripples in a river. Once again, thank you for this video in helping me understand myself a little better and that being sensitive can be a super power. ❤️

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Love what you shared, thank you so much 🤗🌱❤️

[@annamallard2730]

Oh Sheena, your experiences growing up are so similar to mine, and I’m really pleased you now know that it is a gift to have this trait! The language you use is beautiful, by the way. Keep being your unique and sensitive self ✨ the world derives much benefit from it, even when you can’t see it 🤗

[@Ambs2023]

~ 45:40 When “desensitizing” certain situations by actively engaging in them, such as scientific conferences for me, over time I think what happens is not that you become less sensitive to stimuli such as noise etc, but that certain stimuli fall away because of habituation, like the stimulus of novelty, anxiety, having to find your way, not knowing people there, etc. Over time you learn to expect or adapt to that which is in your control, therefore lowering the overall amount of stimuli you have to process.

[@treasuringpricelesstime5962]

That makes sense to me. Thanks for sharing.

[@bbygrlpt2]

Thank you for this vid.. For a while I had already realized Im a HSP and it makes sense how I felt when I was a kid. But this yr I lost my grandma and Ive never such pain.. In fact the day before she passed I was very sad and praying then woke up the next morning crying my eyes out! My sister calls me a few hrs later to tell me she had passed away. I think I felt her leaving and even now thinking about her I still cry. It has affected me the most in my fam.. Its so hard to move on from losing a loved one and feels like its 100x worse when youre a HSP. Ive tried antidepressants but it makes me unable to fall asleep😕 Im just accepting this pain of losing grandma with the faith that we will be together again one day💔

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I'm so sorry for your loss 🌹 Sending a hug your way

[@bbygrlpt2]

@ Thank you🩷

[@dianeyoung8068]

This was a wonderful interview, I got a lot out of it. I am glad that this information is being disseminated to help so many people. I have gotten so much negativity as an HSP and it caused a lack of self worth in me. Now I see that my sensitivity is a positive trait. I am happy that I can feel deeply and I know that HSPs help to balance the energies of a world that often does not feel enough or understand deeply enough..

[@laurawatkins9399]

Thank you both for this video. You've explained a lot about why I struggled with most of the jobs I had when I was working. I'm retired now and I've never been happier.

[@RuselaHaydon]

Yes! It has been a giant joy to be free of the schedules, expectations, and distractions of "working" and to be free to design a life I'm comfortable with on my own terms. Am glad for you.

[@RuselaHaydon]

Has been so wonderful to find so much in your videos that is helpful and relatable. Much makes sense now that was painful growing up. Art, animals, Nature, and little kids are my main joys, sweet solitude is my domain, being empathetic is my path to sharing positive "vibes" when I am out and about. Am 75 now...at peace (feeling grateful!) being a HSP.

[@annier6]

Not finished, yet, with this discussion but I'm grateful for information and answers for what I've been trying to figure out for a long time. Your channel is always calming. Thank you so much.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're so welcome, glad to hear you're already finding some info and answers in the video! Take care my friend 🤗🌱

[@summitcraftwork]

As an HSP man who plays with colorful LEGO’s, thank you for asking the question on our behalf. 🙏 27:34

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Haha nice! 😁🤗 You're so welcome! Take care and have a lovely day

[@summitcraftwork]

@SimpleHappyZen, I just had the ‘I’m an HSP’ Ah Ha moment a couple of weeks ago. Wow, it has totally informed me by providing a new language and understanding about myself. I’ve been consuming your content and have found great value and reassurance. Thank you for your efforts to help others and the quality videos you produce. 🙏🥰

[@neldaperez5011]

Hi Vera...im now retired...love it..have time to watch videos....❤❤yours came along a few months ago....superrrr interasting ...i have mynl own book published in 2012...on recovery after my husband death to AIDS....since, i love digesting my emotions in writting and trash them out. I loved this approach from Esthers interview...so greatful she was interviwed, you did a great job. I am HSP...the trauma since AIDs ...caused many emotional FATIGUE....during past 2.5 yrs....after retirement my loving mom passed...causing BURN OUT...during therapy i understood. I needed EMOTIONAL DISTANCING....from others issues...problems helping my recovery...now that i have time😊..i rest between tasks...etc. im on my second book on emotions....after this video....understanding my fatigue has a name....great ending for my second book. GREAT JOB...BLESSINGS VERA..thanks Esther❤❤❤

[@joank5585]

What a wonderful interview and conversation, I love how this brings more awareness to the public, explaining how we have a superpower and how special hsp’s are is what is needed for self acceptance and self esteem. Learning ways and tips like stepping away for a moment, taking a deep breath in intense situations is so valuable in staying healthy (mentally & physically), such good coping skills! Being an HSP isn’t a bad thing once you learn the wonderful things about it that you bring to the table ❤

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

😍

[@SimpleHappyZen]

@@joank5585 Thank you Joan, so happy you enjoyed the conversation! And love what you said about being highly sensitive. Take care and have a happy Monday!! 😊

[@Stellanime4ever]

I just want to say that I got the link to this video from a friend of mine, who is really invested not only in understanding HSP, but in helping me to accept who I am. Not all people close to me understand me (or even do the effort to try to understand me). I distanced myself from some very close relatives for that same reason. But it truly helps to have friends like her that show you over and over again: it isn't me. There is nothing wrong with me. Thank you for this video! It once again showed me I have to take matters into my own HSP hands to make life as comfortable as possible~

[@RoseLemonade.]

Oh my gosh.. That last bit about being worth the time we need to take to process things made me cry as well. That was so out of the blue, i didn't see it coming:) And then i saw You all teary as well:))

[@SimpleHappyZen]

It was such a nice thing to hear 🥰

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

You are worth it! And you need it as an HSP. 😘

[@RoseLemonade.]

@@SimpleHappyZen Because of the constant pressure coming with what is going on in that time. I didn't realise how much i needed to hear this:) Like with Your teas back then.

[@sellostina]

Thank you for this video! 🙏❤ What do you think about sound pollution? Both for HSP and non HSP. Maybe it could be your next interview with scholar in that field? 😊 In Iceland (where I live), sound polution increases every year with tourist helicopters, sightseeing flights and private jets. In the name of law few people of greedy-money-flight-business get to go wild in earning money, even it costs health of the public, nature and animals 😢 The stillness is hard to find, also in middle of no where in so called ,,unspoiled nature”. I do not want to use sound cancelling headphones because I want to (as well it is important) to hear the birds singing, wind blow, buzz of the fly, kids playing and so on. All the best to you all ❤🕊️

[@KateYock]

I was excited for you to have your first guest - you did great! I didn't know what being a HSP was until watching your channels and I have now bought Elaine Aron's book. So thank you for enlightening me (I thought I was just different to everyone else). I am an INFJ-A and that also comes with a feeling of being different so the two combined can be interesting to navigate. I particularly picked up on Esther's comment about working in an open office environment, which I do 2 days a week and really struggle with. I just can't get any work done! But I have spoken to my boss about this previously and he is very understanding. I think I could do better to plan my work better in advance so that on office days I only have low level tasks to complete that don't require much brain power. Thank you for asking the autism question as I have considered that in the past too. It was also useful and interesting to hear the neuro-science aspect that HSP brains really do process things differently. I'm often left stunned when I have spent time with a friend/friends and then at the end of the day they have posted about several more activities they have done afterwards on social media when I have spent the rest of the day on the sofa. I'm always like..."how have you done all this stuff! Am I just lazy?!" I also got emotional at the end!

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Thank you for sharing. Love to hear that you enjoyed it. Also good to hear that you are talking to your boss about what you need.

[@sebastienmailbox]

I am so glad you touched on things often similar in presentation to ASD and how it's different! It's very difficult to explain the differences, so I'm thankful it was brought up, and that more research needs to be done. Cause there definitely needs to be more of that. What a great interview! Informative and relaxed. :)

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you so much, that's nice to hear! :) Have a great day!

[@TheMaxiSoul]

Thank you Vera and Esther for this great discussion. As a HSP myself, I really felt understood, seen and valued. It's hard to live life when you are not like the average person. I've had to come up with different strategies to feel good most of the times. It all comes down to being very gentle and patient with yourself.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're welcome! And yes to being gentle and patient with ourselves! 🤗🌳🍵

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for sharing your tips.

[@monikakaiser1643]

I just watched the whole video ... at the end I teared up a little bit. 🥲 It was exactly what I needed today. Recently I was feeling so bad about myself cuz I always need so much sleep, rest, alone time etc - while others around me are able to have jam-packed days and to unwind they go to a party or meet with others in a cafe or restaurant. I'm 46 and very happily married. We are child free by choice and usually enjoy our more quiet life. I know that I should be happy and just accept the way that I am but sometimes I wish I could be 'normal'. This video was a wonderful reminder that it's not just a burden to be highly sensitive but also a blessing. A heartfelt thanks to you and Esther Bergsma! I'm going to save this one and rewatch it. 😊 Happy Saturday ❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Absolutely loved your comment and I can relate to a lot of it. So happy this conversation gave you some helpful reminders :) Take care and enjoy your lovely life! :) Have a nice weekend 🤗

[@andeeanko7079]

I'm a lot like you, so you're not alone. Also I'm child-free by choice. Being 'normal' is highly overrated 😂

[@monikakaiser1643]

@@andeeanko7079Your words made me smile. Thank you 😊 Wherever you live ... hope you're having a great day/a peaceful evening 🍁🍁🍁

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

You're welcome ❣

[@rashellewilcox2633]

You're the best,my dear! I appreciate your videos SO MUCH, And I want you to know that!!

[@jessicasommer232]

Thank you Vera for this interview! I especially appreciate the portion on the default mode network, and how it is always running for an HSP. I have definitely found this to be true. I am always making connections to and from different parts of my life, in the middle of everything else that is happening. Most of the time I enjoy this capacity, although it can easily be overwhelming! I also find that although I’m an HSP, I cry very little. I think it has a lot to do with my childhood, but I find it quite curious. I do feel deeply, it just very infrequently manifests in tears. Thanks again Vera and Esther! ☀️

[@margaretmcgregor5686]

Me too! It seems not all HSPs cry easily or a lot. Thanks for sharing.

[@TheSinlessAssassin]

I needed this today. It's been a week since I was able to premiere a movie that I had been working on for 11 months. While it was nice to be sensitive to the positive reception I've gotten from my audience, after the adrenaline wore off after a couple days, I've fallen into a deep depression that I'm still experiencing today. The discipline I had to develop to work through my burn out was unlike anything I've ever experienced before, because before cultivating such ingrained habits, I used to heavily rely on random bouts of motivation to do anything. It's taking everything I have to not feel ashamed or afraid for simply being in a low mood this week, even though nothing bad is actually happening in my life right now. In fact one of the best things has happened and maybe these morning tears could also be tears of gratitude, not just boredom and burnout.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It sounds like you've had (and still have) many things to consider and a lot on your plate... I can imagine how that can feel a bit overwhelming. Remember, it's okay to be like a fruit tree, you don't have to produce fruit all year round. You can have low periods to rest, recover and tend to your roots for a while. The sun will start shining again and a new project will come up for you to pour your heart into with renewed energy and perspectives. Take good care!!!

[@TheSinlessAssassin]

@@SimpleHappyZen OMG that is the PERFECT metaphor I needed too! I suppose my season of fruitful giving is done for now, and I gotta do what I've been meaning to, and tell my subscribers I'm going on an official hiatus once and for all. Jesus, you just keep on giving lol. Truly blessed and grateful for discovering your channel. Thank you very much for your response.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

🤗👍

[@Antoinette-nsdr]

Thank you Vera and Esther. Such a wonderful and important interview. I loved reading the comments of fellow listeners too. 😊

[@saskiaseaglass9504]

Excellent interview Vera. You are a natural! Esther was also very compelling to listen to and her explanations very easy to follow. 😍😊

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you! And yes I agree, Esther made it really easy to have a fun and interesting conversation :)

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Thank you for these kind words. 😍

[@saskiaseaglass9504]

@ It’s true! 🥰

[@andeeanko7079]

Vera, this is excellent! I am only a third of the way through the video, but I wanted to say that, well, yes I am HSP and have known this since I read Ms. Aron's book years ago. I know I'm not autistic (though perhaps it is a spectrum...), but after a pleasant yet stimulating day of new experiences, new people, etc. I thought about how I felt so deeply about it all, emotionally and how somewhat overstimulated I felt, too. I thought to myself that while I don't feel autistic, I do feel that I am a type of neurodivergent. And to hear your wonderful guest say the same thing, that HSP is a type of neurodivergence is really affirming. I have gotten so much better at caring for myself. Saying no to some social activities, while also encouraging myself to take part in others. Coming home to my bed, good food and rest is crucial after these activities. Giving myself time to reflect and sort it all out is so important, too. P.S. I am so like you Vera. I'm an INFP. I know at my heart of hearts I am an introvert because I so very much need my alone time to recharge. BUT, if I go too long without connecting with people I can get depressed. I love people. But alone time is so important. I know that introversion and extroversion is a spectrum. Maybe we are somewhere in the middle, leaning a bit more towards introversion.

[@rashellewilcox2633]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt this way!!!! Awkward, quick to feel self-conscious, deep emotions, and feeling like things are hard for you that are easy for other people! One can feel very alone, especially if everyone else that you know is not highly sensitive. Definitely noticing more details than most other people! And also judging those extra details that we notice. And while that is true to an extent,( that you truly ARE the only one just like you,because there IS only one you) it's nice there's others,too,who are highly sensitive,as well, in this world!!

[@catherineaustin5739]

I have always found that I have a very strong mind body connection and can mentally connect and stimulate or disconnect and relax any part of the body… I find this very beneficial when experiencing a cramping muscle as I can mentally refocus the mind on relaxing the body and releasing the tension, completely cutting off from thinking about the pain and surprisingly after a few minutes the muscle relaxes 😊

[@margaretmcgregor5686]

Me too! And I find Non Sleep Deep Rest very restorative. You can find Huberman videos on KZbin. ❤

[@KatrinRass]

Thank you Vera and Esther! This is so very helpful and enlightning! Even though most of the time of my school years as a teenager I felt ashamed for being so different, like needing a nap after school before my homework,"like a baby", but I needed it, and there was just no way around it for me to be able to last through the day. But there is one instance, which I remember clearly, where I kind of understood or knew, how highly sensitive I was (even though that is not what I would have called it). The cool kids and me (funnily enough I was also invited) met at a friend's place and a joint was passed around (note here: in my country it is not legal), when my turn came up, I immediately declined politely. When I was asked, why, I simply answered: "I don't see why I would need it. When you get high and I am with you, I can just as much laugh my head off until tears stream down my face, because I SENSE all your fun, joy and utter hilarious craziness." And in my mind I added: And I will get all that for free and without having to get any toxins into my system, because I can mirror your feelings. Oh my, I get goosebumps when I think about how on this one night I was so close to actually understanding myself! And me, a teenager, that would have been around 15 years ago! Thanks a million again. 🙂 I am so grateful for your video, I nearly had forgotten about this precious memory. P.S.: I have a question for Esther: What does research say about a correlation bewteen autism and HSP regarding swinging? In my darkest and most confused moments, I had to go on a swing in the park or playground in order to help clear my mind. And as an adult I felt that nothing would comfort me when I could not stop crying or soothe my anxiety but laying in my hammock. This might be something to follow up on. ;-)

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

What a great memory; and a wonderful way to stand your ground. We don't have research yet about the swinging and HSP, but I think the sensation could have a soothing effect that helps you clear your mind. Not sure if this would be more so for HSPs.

[@clairedebbs9972]

​@@hoogsensitiefnl8860 Thank you. 😊

[@annamallard2730]

What a powerful and validating conversation - thank you so much, Vera and Esther! I especially relate to what you say about experiencing joy on a profound level - there have been countless times where I’ve been deeply moved by nature and the arts, and sometimes the people around me have seemed baffled and amused at my strong reactions - it can swing the other way, as you say, but I’m so grateful to be able to take intense delight in things that others aren’t as affected by. It’s a great tip from Esther too, to hone in on this natural ability in moments of overwhelm or sadness. I so appreciate this video, thank you for all the beautiful work you are doing for us HSPs (and non-HSPs, who are hopefully understanding the trait better now!) 🌸 Big love from Bath! 🛁🇬🇧✨

[@judithmorris8332]

I totally agree, Anna. It feels very special to me when I am moved to tears by something in nature, a work of art, or a person's kindness. I wouldn't want to swap that for a more typical response. Feeling joy is joyful and actually "feeling" is joyful, even if it's an emotion such as grief. If I feel it and am unable to express it, then I feel diminished. My mother would never tolerate tears when I was a child and it's such a relief now to know my emotions are all valid.

[@annamallard2730]

@@judithmorris8332 Thank you for your lovely response, Judith! Ah I’m sorry that your mother didn’t understand and wouldn’t tolerate certain emotions from you. I hope you have more support now in whatever you face in life. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been told to ‘toughen up’ (though luckily it’s happened less as an adult), and my mum tries to move me past grief very quickly, but what she doesn’t seem to get is that I need to experience the more difficult emotions to the full in order to process the loss and move forward. I also feel a need to ‘honour’ whoever or whatever I’m grieving, by… well, fully grieving 😅 Anyway, I’m so pleased you have learned more about yourself and can now have a better chance to flourish 🌸

[@judithmorris8332]

@@annamallard2730, yes, I have a very supportive husband and I support myself a whole lot more these days. Like you I know I need to express all the emotions I feel and I know just what you mean about grief. Many people never release their grief and even worse, they can't cope when others do what is perfectly natural. My coach says that if everyone on the planet expressed the grief they have repressed on the same day, the world would be a much better place. Food for thought I think. HSP are leading the way with this.

[@mikegransbury3563]

Thankyou Vera. I found this very useful. I was recently diagnosed with autism but I have quite severe sensory overload. I found it helpful to learn the difference between being autistic and being a HSP

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you for sharing, so happy to hear you found the interview useful! I can definitely imagine that it's good to learn the differences between autism and high sensitivity, especially when you get diagnosed with autism. Take good care and have a wonderful rest of your weekend!

[@GG-dk1gd]

thank yoou for this interesting talk! what I often do, when I feel negative emotions of others (e.g. I get very affected by crying/sad children from other parents) and I feel responsible like I have to do something, I send them good wishes in my heart/mind. Like: I wish you a happy life, you‘re going to be a strong person, I wish you lots of love and so on.. I do this as well, when I hear the news and feel sorry and helpless watching so many people suffer. I try to send good energy out to them and then it‘s easier for me to let go and focus on my own emotions, on the things that effect me personally…

[@judithmorris8332]

I love this approach and will try it!

[@simoneclarke5104]

Thank you to the both of you so very much💖! I am 59 years old and just discovered this year that I am a HSP. It explains so much as to why I am the way I am. I appreciate the book recommendations Vera, as I want to learn more coping mechanisms. This video was wonderful 🥰

[@CP-ew8uu]

I've never taken so many notes during a video!! Thank you so much for all this incredible info ❤❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Love that :) Thank you!

[@sallgal]

Just watched the whole thing and will most likely watch again!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you, I appreciate that! 🤗🍵💕 Wishing you a lovely weekend!

[@angelicamason1650]

Hi Vera. Thank you for this video, it was very interesting and helpful. Your interviewing skills are great, by the way. When it comes to news, I find it easiest to read news or listen to the radio rather than watch. I am much more affected when I see disturbing images. If I am reading, I can choose how much of the article I want to read and feel like I have more control.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thakn you so much! :) That's so nice to hear. And also yes, great tip about the news!

[@trishacarlson4122]

Vera, what a great opportunity to talk with someone who has some extra expertise in the field, I'm so happy she was able to come to your channel and share with us! I think just the self awareness of being an HSP is so important. And so if you know this about yourself, you are winning the battle already. I spent more than half of my life in the dark, confused and upset because I didnt know what was going on with me. Now, w/ a little more knowledge....I am able to take the time and measurements I need to be like "Oh, this is probably why such such happened this way because I am HSP." Yea, makes sense. I find that when I am feeling a little lost, if I give myself enough Time. I am better equipped to handle adjustments. If I fumble around and feel pressured, I am at my worst. But if I allow myself the time I need to spend on a project, I have better results. Also....something that rly spoke to me during this discussion was the part where you asked about feeling your own feelings. I have always been a sponge, and only recently am I like......huh, well what do *I* actually think about this? You have to stop and think, is this something I am feeling? Or is this emotion sounding more like somebody else's emotion? I find that if I give somebody their emotion BACK to them, it's less of that emergency feeling. I work hospitality, so I am confronted with a thousand different personalities each shift. Theres a little process I go through now. I assess the situation. I think about the situation logically. And then I follow up with the best answer I can think of within my parameters. The simple act of planning ahead, mapping out your goals, and checking in with yourself has been game changers for me, personally.

[@trishacarlson4122]

Id also like to note that I cannot keep taking things personally. My biggest lesson this last year is reminding myself that people are going through their own battles. And are in their own heads. They dont probably care what I am doing for the most part. We are all just walking around thinking about our next move but not considering how we are affecting other people, usually. That "Dont take things so personally" Was rly the worst pill to swallow but after you can manage some boundaries, it does get better.

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Thank you so much for sharing what works for you.

[@janinab9811]

thank you for this great interview:) I am a HSP myself but until my burnout last year didn’t know how crucial it is for my health to also live after that. Your videos about your burnout have also helped me so much going through this tough time with those (at first) scary symptoms. (mine were very similar to yours) thanks so much for your content. I can relate to everything you are describing about the Hsp phenomenon and it makes me feel so understood , lots of love from Australia 🇦🇺

[@treasuringpricelesstime5962]

Vera I really appreciate the well chosen questions that you included in this interview. You both were very helpful and I really enjoyed this video. Thank you! Tamara

[@sthefanyirabi9054]

Thank you so much for making this interview! It was so heplfull and enjoiable...

[@SimpleHappyZen]

That's great to hear, thank you! :)

[@emmajohnson1336]

I love this podcast! Thank you Vera for discussing this topic ❤ I identified for many years as a HSP, and have now recently been diagnosed with Autism 🧠

[@susanrikimaru6630]

Thank you for this interview. I’m watching 10-15 minutes a day, so I’m only half way through now, but so far it’s been really helpful.

[@smeag9280]

Thank you for this interview! It was great 🧡

[@AbundantlyMinimal]

Amazing interview, Vera! You asked so many great questions that will definitely be helpful to many!

[@hollyfeatherstone2782]

Great, useful video, thank you so much! One tip regarding bad news stories I got from the KZbin channel Therapy in a Nutshell. Back in the day, news would be very local. Bad news might be that our neighbour's house had burned down. Our body would go into "fight or flight" to mobilise our bodies to help in a practical way. Obviously with events taking place at the other side of the globe, we can't be "hands on" to assist and therefore the stress and drive to act is never released. However, choosing to solve an unrelated physical problem, or help someone geographically close in a physical way can still help your brain bring resolution to your feelings and dissipate your body's reactions.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Oh that's definitely an interesting and helpful way of looking at it! Thanks for sharing :) Have a lovely rest of your weekend!

[@audram3381]

That was amazing and super helpful. I really appreciate you both bringing light for and insight into this subject as well as making this interview happen.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you! :)

[@veralubov7405]

Thanks for a wonderful guest. Very important information; I did not know that my brain processes stimuli differently from non-HSPs🙂

[@AHE1992]

This was absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much!!❤❤❤

[@Marsolan]

Fantastic job, Vera!!!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you! 🤗🌳

[@nolas5638]

Thank you, Vera & Esther! ❤❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're so welcome! 🤗💕

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

❤

[@Mar-ME-s3h]

Insightful interview. You’re both wonderful. 🌸

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you so much :)

[@miranda0503]

This interview is so intimate and moving. Thank you so much! ❤❤

[@susanrikimaru6630]

I really appreciated you sharing at 24:00 regarding being hsp but also “extroverted”. I really resonate with your description of desiring time with people, but then building in recovery time.

[@wendygraham7787]

Great interview and explains so much. I ended up getting an illness from an overstimulated nervous system. I have fibromyalgia which causes me a lot of fatigue . I live a very quiet life now that I'm retired. Last week I had terrible sensory overload when I had to use. public transport , the crowds and noise gave me a anxiety attack.

[@afteralice98]

Your experience with the carnival reminded me of a fairly frustrating experience I have when I go to a museum. I walk around, take it all in, read the cards and after about an hour I'm exhausted. Usually I can see the main exhibit (the next planned one is Mary Cassatt) and then I'm ready to leave. If I have lunch or a snack I might be able to eke out a little more time. I could never go to the Louvre or the Prado for hours on end. :-( I think my dad was an HSP, as he valued time alone and had finely tuned senses. My mom (whom I loved dearly) would often say to me "You're SO sensitive!" so I assume that she wasn't.

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

I totally understand what you're experiencing ❤

[@AirBeat-lk3pl]

The part about wearing noise cancelling headphones too much can make you more sensitive was interesting! It makes me realize, I had a tendency to push myself too much and needed a lot of time to recover, and then I tended to avoid certain situations. Avoiding more and more doesn’t really help, it probably makes things worse. It would be nice to know the smallest step I can take outside of my comfort zone to expand it without being overwhelmed. To take a small step every day to become a bit less sensitive. I won’t change this trait, but maybe there’s a balance

[@katrinehald-ft7ip]

Thank you for doing this interview. You both did great and I really appreciate the grounded calm atmosphere (many youtube interviews are way too stressed for me) :) I hope you can do a second one later! So many topics to uncover and go deeper in to. Keep up the good work :)

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you for that wonderful compliment!! :) I think that's what naturally happens when you have two HSPs have a conversation hihi, it will be grounded and calm :)

[@mikelobrien]

Thank you for this interview! I really learned a lot. 😊

[@ljshaw8516]

HSP is the New Super Hero! I enjoyed this so very much! I've never "fit in" with any group due to my ESP. Just bullied, seriously made fun of and struggled. Vera was the first KZbin creator where I learned I wasn't alone, I had a name and it was going to be okay, I was in my mid 50's. Now at 63 I can celebrate my Super Hero status of a HSP. Thanks so very much for posting this fabulous interview. Bless you ladies! On another note, do HSP have a lot of mind chatter at night when they are suppose to be sleeping?

[@sparky9839]

Yes, this!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied in the past... Sending a hug your way 🌹 Love that you now celebrate your super hero status as a sensitive person!

[@ljshaw8516]

@@SimpleHappyZen If it wasn't for you and your program, I would have keep thinking I was a "problem". You are wise beyond your years Vera! Thanks so very much.

[@judithmorris8332]

I find I need a long wind down to sleeping and in recent years have found an eye mask to be conducive to sleep. When I put it on it must give my brain a message to switch off! After adrenal exhaustion I realised that I need to sleep in a room of my own, so much better. Fortunately I have a very loving and understanding husband.

[@ljshaw8516]

@@judithmorris8332 LOL I was just making an eye mask when I received this in my email. I appreciate your suggestion. You're the third person to bring this up, so there must be something to it. My hubby sleeps like a rock.

[@katiezachary1640]

Thank you very much for this video 🙂 How the brain of an HSP works really makes sense to me when I reflect back on experiences in my life. Thank you Vera for sharing your experiences so openly. I can relate to needing to be around people, feeling really nice surrounded by them yet at the same time taking time alone to recharge. It feels good to learn how to manage that balance so it's a positive thing 🌱😌

[@tainoaquarian]

That was incredible~ spells out so much for me/ my Life experiences…

[@lizadams7662]

Thanks so much for doing this video. I think it was a bit scary for you, and good for you for going ahead and doing a great job.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you Liz!! Yes it's been a bit scary since it's something I've never done before, so I was a bit nervous, but in a good way 😁🥰 Happy you enjoyed the video, take care!!!

[@onahandclappintokyo]

The first guest episode is so good

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you! :)

[@francineh.7825]

Oh Vera this was wonderful!! Esther had so many fascinating things to say and the science is so interesting! I will definitely be buying her book. Darn, I wish I had asked Esther the question if being empathic is the same as being an HSP or is that more of a spiritual term, as I talk about my empathic abilities in my book. Also, a tip I realized regarding the struggles of watching the news - read it if you can instead of watching a video or news footage. You will pick up less (most times) regarding other people's emotions if you read instead of watching.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So happy you enjoyed it!! I think you'll love her book :) And yes that's an interesting one, I think there is overlap but there could also be differences between the two. But that would be a good one to talk about as well. And I also love your tip about the news! Definitely true and that's what I do as well (never thought about it consciously, but it's what I do intuitively haha). Thanks for the good vibes as always, have a great rest of your Sunday!

[@francineh.7825]

@@SimpleHappyZen You as well!

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Thank you. The science gives us so many pieces of information, I can talk about that for hours 😉

[@AS-lh7rc]

congratulations to your first interview! Well done👏 it was super interesting

[@Ambs2023]

Something I haven’t seen addressed much is that, as an HSP, the “boundary” or “end-point” of overstimulation isn’t irritability for me. It’s dissociation. The feeling of being there, say at a party, but feeling almost out of body. Just floating around. Not really registering things anymore. Sometimes I used this as a “strategy” when going out during my uni years; hold on until I reached dissociation and then I could “enjoy” the party in the same haze everyone else seemed to be in. But that state lingered for days afterwards, sometimes. And it was such a disservice to my authentic self and perhaps my safety to enter into that state. I wonder if others have experienced that too and what they think about that.

[@KateYock]

I also experience it in this way and I think it's probably why I drink when I go out, so that I can numb it all a bit and immerse myself more in the moment. But I think what I really should do is just go home when I start feeling like that and my social battery is drained. If I am no longer having a positive experience there is no point in staying there just to try and be a people pleaser - when, in reality, nobody would mind if I went home.

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

We know that some people throw all the emotions and frustrations out, and some shut themselves of. This is like dissociation, a way to prevent new stimuli to come into your system. This strategy takes more time to recuperate from than the first one.

[@Ambs2023]

@@hoogsensitiefnl8860 Interesting, thanks for the insight!

[@allisonryder4781]

I’m so excited for this!!🎉🎉❤❤❤ I’ll be back later to listen! ❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you Allison!! 🤗💕 Hope you'll enjoy it!

[@user-df2ue1tw2r]

I was excellent in school because it was really easy for me to understand and anticipate what was expected. Sometimes I thought it was stupid, but i could provide what was asked. Even at university, i could often anticipate questions, and study verh efficiently because of that. Just recently learned about being HSP, and so much makes sense now

[@andreevatheory]

Now, keeping up with news is off the table, or else I won't be able to function to work to tend to due to severe nervous system dysregulation. Great episode, many thanks to the host and the guest 💖👑

[@mozanne8802]

What a great interview. Learned some new things. Thank you❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So great to hear! :)

[@mozanne8802]

I sent it to my HSP friend. Curious what she will take from it.

[@chumimi7243]

Thank you! Very informative ❤

[@urskakuplenik2578]

Wow, it was so beautiful and rwlaxing listening to you two❤ 🥰thank you❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you so much! :)

[@szilviaschoffer4694]

Thank you Vera and Esther for the interview! It was really interesting and I can´t wait to read Esther´s book :)

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Great to hear you will read my book. I wish you more recognition of your HSP-talents!

[@SilviaN1]

Lovely interview. I just read somewhere that sensitivity sometimes is agression in disguise. I see myself as a sensitive person, so that really made me think. I would love to hear your thoughts on that in a future video 💞

[@Margriet811]

Wow Vera, this was a very insightful interview! It reminds me that I’m slowly getting caught up again in the endless ratrace of productivity. All the ‘should haves’ sound all too familiar to me… The part about creativity coming to the forefront when you step back and let your mind wander resonated with me a lot! So true! I’m going offline more when out of work to just sit in silence and let my brain do the processing. I’m also going to take more breaks in between chores for way more mind wandering to see what beautiful ideas come up. This will definitely keep my battery charged longer. And now I’m off to order Esther’s book, because reading is a huge energy restorer for me ❤

[@rosemarywilliams9969]

I'm the extrovert type and this year has been so hard losing access to the little amount of friends and family I've really crashed into intense loneliness. But at the same time having to go into the office and dealing with large meetings and conferences, the thought of it stressed me out so much I ended up getting sick and just calling off that week, which didn't help my isolation. I really wanted to be around those co workers BUT I just couldn't do it😢 it's up and down.

[@Peace-tk3gr]

🌸💜

[@margaretmcgregor5686]

Non Sleep Deep Rest videos on KZbin by Huberman may be helpful to you. I find them amazingly good especially in the situation you describe it could be really helpful. 😊

[@AirBeat-lk3pl]

The part about the 8 minute rest after memorizing words was interesting, maybe we should not think if it as “rest” or “breaks” but as a productive pause? I still need to learn the best ways to rest properly.

[@cathylynnpietranton]

Vera, great job with the interview.👍👍❤❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thanks Cathy! :) Esther made it easy too :) Have a lovely rest of your Sunday!

[@cathylynnpietranton]

@SimpleHappyZen thank you, and you also

[@linleecoy]

This is a great interview and a great help. Thank you both for sharing. I am going to buy the book. It is very helpful information that is much needed. Thanks to both of you!

[@hoogsensitiefnl8860]

Wishing you a good time reading it!

[@klaraslaba3801]

Huge thank you too, Vera. It´s great video! Have a nice weekend. :)

[@katlz6649]

hi! just to answer the question in 20:25 yes! I identified for years only like a HSP and then like a year ago I was diagnosed as an autistic person! I also have ADHD, so I'm a Highly sensitive AuDHD person, Idk if is very common but it happened to me, 2 of my siblings and one of my two partners, we are the neurospicy itself 🧚🏻

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Interesting! Thanks for sharing and have a lovely rest of your weekend! :)

[@irynasamoshkina883]

Thanks a lot for the great ideas. I’ve always through my high sensitivity is rather a defect and I’ve been ashamed of it all my life. You’ve surprised me very much saying in fact I have superpowers. What I do need is to use them wisely

[@NixELove]

Thank you for this absolutely fantastic and heartwarming video.🥰 It was a great interview. Take care!

[@juliaalonso8427]

Who is truly happy all the time. To be aware than frustration and sadness exist is part of the life. No one cannot made not mistakes or be perfect all the time. They are not perfect so we are not perfect. Good therapy help to understand themselves and to understand us .

[@rashellewilcox2633]

I'm infj/ hsp and grew up very sheltered,with my rare personality and the complications of my unique situation being HARD to figure it all out!!

[@user-df2ue1tw2r]

Amazing interview. I am halfway and need a break from all the emotions and recognition it is bringing up in me. I am extrovert and HSP, I have a really deep need for social contact and deep connection, but also rest and being alone. It's a challenge to combine, I usually feel all in or all out. Full social or in my bed. I also feel like i sometimes live my friend's lives, which is also very tiring to care so much.

[@pinkroses135]

14:14 I can relate to that. Going out and about to several places and being in a room with someone watching loud tv wipes me out for a good bit.

[@_Celine_26]

Thank you for delivering this very interesting interview! 😊 About the MBTI thing - please allow me to talk about it for a bit. I am a huge fan of typing! It is actually broader than MBTI, there is enneagram, instinctual variants, temperament, tritype, socionics, the big 5 etc. It is more complex than what 16personalities make it look like. Also I have to say that 16personalities isn't about MBTI at all! They say it in their about us section, they use MBTI letters but their test is actually based on The Big 5 Theory. So you are probably social on the SLOAN spectrum but still an introvert cognitively. This is probably why the biggest misconsception about MBTI is that E stands for Extrovert, when in fact it means your dominant cognitive function is extroverted. You can be an ENFP and a social introvert, the same way you can be a socially extroverted ISFJ. As far as I've seen, I am mostly sure you are using a lot of Ni (introverted intuition), thus probably an INxJ (and I'm guessing 4w3 or 3w4 for the enneagram, 459, 451 or 359 for the tritype but I could be wrong ofc and you didn't ask so what am I even doing lol 🙃). Anyways, it's a lot of information to talk about in one comment, sorry if I got too excited, I am sure you will research it if it's a topic you'd like to know about and if it does not resonate I completely understand! :)

[@AnneElliot-wt1zl]

Thank you both - I found this video very informative and reassuring ❤

[@elisamengwasser6146]

This was a very helpful interview. I loved this and would love to learn more. This was off the charts helpful. Thank you for bringing this interview to the channel. I even took notes. I have so much chaos in my brain daily and have a tough time sorting through it. I’m 55 and just now learning about sps by watching your channel. Thank you so much. What is the best book that’s not too technical to read about sps? You did a fantastic job being the interviewer. You asked so many relevant informational questions.

[@Rose-do1yx]

I highly recommend the book 'another self' by cindy engel on empathy. It shows all the science on embodied empathy as of 2024, very well researched. It is so fascinating how our bodies physically experience emotions of others, and i think very helpful to know for anyone who feels like they are very sensitive to other people's emotions.

[@ineshohne4614]

Hi Vera, could you please do a video about eating regularly as an hsp, not to much and not to low and how this impacts the mood? Would be very interesting. Thank you for your work.

[@TheShoneez]

❤❤amazing video thank you for sharing ❤❤

[@chrstopherblighton-sande2981]

I'm so excited to see this interview - and well done Vera for doing so well on your very first interview on the channel! I haven't watched it all just yet, I shall continue tomorrow, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it!! ☺ I'm also glad that the HSP/Autism question was mentioned because I do think it is important. For me as an autistic person I view them as very clearly different things. Autism is defined by difficulties in social communication/interaction and restrictive/repetitive behaviours and interests that cause significant impairment in daily life. Neither of those two aspects are a feature of non-autistic HSPs. The sensory sensitivity that is frequently a part of autism is the area in which HSP and autism overlap - so I can completely understand why they can be confused and why some people who identify as HSPs later on discover they are autistic. I would love for there to be more research as to whether it is possible to be both or not. I think a greater understanding of HSP is so important in society as a significant minority of people are Highly Sensitive and the more understanding there is the better things will be for everyone. So I can't describe how happy I am that you have made this video which I hope will be seen by lots and lots of people. Can't wait to watch the rest tomorrow!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thanks Chris, I really appreciate your kind words. 🤗❤️ And also thanks for explaining your thoughts about the differences between ASD and HSP, that's what I've gathered so far as well. I had a brief moment where I considered that maybe autism might apply for me as well, but most of the aspects mentioned weren't relatable for me, except for the sensory processing sensitivity. It would definitely be great if more research could be done into these two, both separately and together. :) Hope you enjoyed the second half as well, have a great rest of your Sunday!

[@queenmubeenah]

Thank you❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're very welcome 🤗🍵🌱 Have a nice weekend!

[@cherieferro1427]

thank you for providing this video. I'm 73 and found out I was HSP about 8 years ago, thank goodness. I have noticed that at this stage of my life, my dearest friends are also HSP's. It makes for very deep and fulfilling relationships, but I have found it's important to remember that they are just as sensitive as I am! I'm wondering if other HSP's have found this to be true. Also, I would like to introduce someone whom I love to the idea that he may be HSP, but I don't want to overstep and I'm hoping he is open to it. Any suggestions?

[@judithmorris8332]

Talk to him about your experiences and see if they resonate with him?

[@dv_wild]

thanks for this video ❤❤❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're so welcome! 🤗🍵 Have a great day!