What if EVERY TF2 Weapon could Randomly Crit?

Who thought this was a good idea? Me, apparently. Ever wonder what would happen if the Sandvich could randomly crit? Well you can't say no anymore because now you're thinking about it. This video takes a look at my ideas for what crits on non-combat weapons would do. I made these intentionally wacky, but then I remembered that the Kritzkrieg is a thing, so... yeah, these would be absolute chaos if they were in the game.
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Outro music by liledix4: • 🎵 Graze the Roof ︱ PvZ...

[@eviethekiwi7178]

i like the idea of a crit sandvich overhealing you to 900 hp

[@jonathanwilliams1644]

Wouldn't that be more of a Dalokhas bar thing?

[@dreamingclouddreams2981]

*That one scout walks in on you when you finish your crit sandvich* "Oh shi-" -scout 2007-2022

[@valles6903]

Crit sandwich? No. Cranwich.

[@esqx0878]

I hate it. Way too op

[@tobiaswerner4418]

A replacement for uber

[@NikoFromOneShot]

Imagine if Critical Sandvich was essentially a fucking landmine

[@gun8737]

”Oh, a sandwich, i should eat i-” FUCKING BLOWS UP

[@2startbuttons820]

War crime moment

[@BaconLover100]

we need something like this irl (Insert current enemy of United States): Oh look a sandwich! *fucking explodes*

[@user-lw2yb9ln7r]

@@BaconLover100 That is actually a war crime. You are not allowed to have traps that look like food

[@BaconLover100]

@@user-lw2yb9ln7r i aint snitching

[@chiefoftheoldgods8912]

That fucking razorback crit. "the spy just instantly dies. Interactive gameplay." Had me dying.

[@bruschetta7711]

It's totally unfair but when you think about it why would they stab it anyway? it's like they deserve it

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

@@bruschetta7711 Not to mention it would remind Spies they have a gun.

[@SwecrafterSlom]

Ah yes, so you are a spy

[@Skullhawk13]

@@bruschetta7711 Spies rarely intentionally stab it, Snipers often screen for others, or turn around unexpectedly.

[@wdp1a73r]

insta karma XD

[@oranbluethorn3956]

Imagine it, your at low HP when you see it: The enemy teams friendly hoovy sitting in the corner with a "Hi 5 4 Sandvich" spray up behind him because its a community server that has random crits enabled. You run in, give em five, they say thank you and throw their sandwich at you...and you get instantly murdered by it because they threw a random crit, the heavy using the laugh taunt on your corpse because RNGesus decided you were dead no matter what this day. Its beautiful

[@davisdf3064]

It's perfect

[@wdp1a73r]

now I WANT/NEED this to be a thing XD

[@therexagon8752]

y'uo_re

[@Ryann9]

Offensive friendlys

[@Technotoadnotafrog]

Presumably, the Hoovy then killbinds

[@6447912]

"getting a random Construction PDA crit"... That is a sentence NO ONE should ever have said. But now I want it in, Valve!

[@robloxkrazy621]

Hoping for valve to update the game? Back of the line, friend.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

Just instant builds a lvl 3.

[@omegon2540]

Or just make it a new item

[@Insomnia820]

Critical piss

[@anshsgh6092]

@@omegon2540constructs buildings instantly but sentries take 200 metal, dispensers 150 and teleporters 100

[@stormstroak611]

I would love if “corpse momentum” was a new stat.

[@davisdf3064]

A shotgun for Scout that is the same thing as stock except that it has +900% corpse momentum would be perfect

[@blizzardkiehn2508]

What if there was gib momentum? I wanna see a person actually explode.

[@davisdf3064]

@@blizzardkiehn2508 You don't even see the gibs anymore, the person just becomes a blood splatter

[@gazethespectator1608]

The Holy Mackerel

[@seronymus]

Imagine it as a Strange Part: Corpses Launched

[@yourhumbledissenter]

For demo-shields, you missed the opportunity to make demo train a thing by making it so the charge doesn’t stop on contact, but instead sends players flying as you charge through them like a bullet through butter.

[@blizzardkiehn2508]

Grab 3 people into your demo train and run off of a cliff. Edit: you could even swing at the very end so that you don't fall off with them.

[@carljohan9265]

have you seen SolarLight's video where they play on Upward as all demoknights with unlimited charge? Things get weird, and awesome.

[@SenyiKimmo]

that made me imagine a shield that works like reinhardt in overwatch where if you charge into an enemy you basically just "pick them up" and then do damage by crashing into a wall

[@AziSlays]

if shields did crit damage then a demo with the splendid screen and 3 heads would kill anyone they hit instantly.

[@jacksonpercy8044]

@@carljohan9265 I finally found the video you're referring to. It's by Mrswipez1 not SolarLight.

[@BottleWaterson]

i could only imagine a community server with these implemented (and the broken crit boosts working as intended)

[@zjanez2868]

for only 100 dollars you could get a crit canteen

[@Dataxfloofer]

@@zjanez2868 S. _

[@HuneeBruh]

That would be so unfun

[@Top2BottomGaming]

@@HuneeBruh It’d be chaotic. Chaos doesnt always equal fun, but it could be.

[@evangonzalez7732]

@@Top2BottomGaming chaotic evil idea: Kritzkrieg a Buff Banner soldier. Portable AoE Kritzkrieg. Holy shit.

[@Alphalbatross]

Not gonna lie, I'd play on a server if it had this.

[@mouadhkadd2469]

Can i have your ip server

[@blazeultimo]

I'd rather chop off one of my toes than play this

[@aerissai8341]

@@Alphalbatross Give the man what he wants, and no one gets hurt 🤑🤑🤑🤑

[@plfaproductions]

Me too, sounds fun, dunno why people seem to hate random crits. It's so funny, and the primary objective of a game is to be a fun filled experience

[@Thomas-vn6cr]

I love the idea of a Hoovy accidentally one-shotting an enemy.

[@getaround1276]

KRITZKRIEG THE HOOVY

[@Technotoadnotafrog]

_scout calls for medic, smacks the ground with his bat_ _hoovy gives him a death sandwich_ _hoovy laughs_ _hoovy killbinds_

[@maexslg-at]

Kirtizkrieg + Banana

[@donovanjoseph737]

@@getaround1276picture it: the hoovy is in front of a ledge baiting people into claiming a sandwich. Right below him past the ledge, he has a pocket kritzkrieg medic ready to pop it for whenever an unsuspecting victim of good charity takes the bait.

[@potato1341]

I feel the real winner of "if every weapon could random crit" would be demoknight.

[@salvatoredigregorio9618]

Oh, my boots crit when I spawned. Now I'm even faster and tanker for an entire life!

[@davidhong1934]

@@salvatoredigregorio9618 (dies to a Scorch Shot projectile from across the map) (Yes, the Pyro is just randomly firing down a hallway)

[@Insomnia820]

Critical jarate.

[@memelover6917]

​@@Insomnia820Critical p i s s

[@TommyDog145]

Sticky Jumper and Rocket Jumper should apply knockback to enemies on crits

[@blizzardkiehn2508]

Environment killed by a crit sticky trap

[@mt9456]

@@blizzardkiehn2508 hightower just got better

[@RatBoyDunce]

@@mt9456 highertower

[@unsie]

DUDE WE NEED A COMMUNITY SERVER WHERE THE STICKY JUMPER AND ROCKET JUMPER APPLY KNOCKBACK TO EVERYBODY AND U CAN ONLY PLAY AS SOLDIER OR DEMOMAN/EVERYONE HAS STICKY JUMPER OR ROCKET JUMPER THIS WOULD BE SO FUCKING FUN WITH THE RIGHT MAP

[@lolario7249]

they should do that normally.

[@othermelting]

Noticing we're missing the Short Circuit! I'd say a crit short circuit right click should reflect projectiles instead of deleting and make them critical as well, and then make the left click like it was before, where it becomes an AOE blast that just deals more damage

[@krimson8089]

I think crit would work only on the primary fire

[@aaronking2020]

Also the spy knives

[@othermelting]

The spy knives do actually deal critical damage when boosted by a crit effect, like at the end of the round or with a kritzkrieg. I mentioned the short circuit as it's a weapon that has literally no effect when boosted

[@Derpydude9001]

Crit short circuit should turn the ball into the giant lightning ball spell from Halloween mode, giving it a larger hitbox, longer duration and ability to bounce off walls

[@andrewponder3855]

Critical short circuit's alt fire uninstalls tf2 from the computers of the people it hits.

[@punishederic4761]

It's nice to see you branching out with horror content

[@readyorgormotti4695]

Wait, that critical Rocket Jumper would be like, extremely awful to get, just completely ruining your jump at random. Rolling a nat 1 on your rocket jump lmao

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

It would be the one random crit the enemy loves. You soar over your Market Garden target right over the edge of Hightower's gorge.

[@spartan5018]

But it'd be funny

[@mattthekiller9129]

3:31 just imagine that, they explode...and then the splash damage kills you as well

[@danielotano8677]

That just sounds like kill bind but with extra steps

[@normaluser698]

please dont make it fair and balanced as gas passer in mvm

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

@@normaluser698it’s powerful, but not as much as in mvm, Definitely insane to destroy groups on the control point though. Source: shounic’s what if MVM upgrades were in regular TF2?, common sense

[@meme__supreme3373]

"It [the thermal thruster] would randomly send you into the sky box with no remorse." Isn't that just what it normally does?

[@kirbth4769]

Then it will make you immune to the sky box

[@davisdf3064]

@@kirbth4769 Make it bring your nearby teamates as well, this way we can set up above skybox Engineertopia

[@Geostelar4920]

Ok but what if there was a normal "spoiled meat sandvich" or "fermented shark sandvich" that healed heavy but acted as a trap/landmine for enemies

[@ToxicBastard]

That'd be annoying but cool

[@Apoollo_11]

Good for trolling and confusing new players

[@getaround1276]

Like it heals 150 health to you and is a small health pack for teammates takes as long as the sandvich to charge

[@Technotoadnotafrog]

Hakárl? Vegemite? Fruitcake? Limburger? Century egg? Escargot? Everclear? Carolina reaper? Hardtack? Anchovy? Durian? In any case, the flavor text should be, _"C'mon, ya big babies, it's not THAT bad!"_

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

“Electric Emesis Food”

[@SawedOffLaser]

Throwing a sandvich at a scout and watching them die instantly is just perfection

[@j3tts0n65]

imagine a server with these mechanics but its also a always crit server

[@agotitricky3475]

i feel like one team would just be tossing sandviches

[@somerandomguy6767]

@@agotitricky3475 school lunch food fights the game

[@gwainexe9065]

dear god.

[@xavierwalko4175]

so part mvm part rainbow edition

[@Phe0niz]

I can't get over the idea of a bunch of heavies with crit sandviches setting up a minefield at spawn enemies simply have to try to avoid. Just imagine a heavy popping his banner on a kritz just for a bunch of heavies to coordinate throwing their sandviches into a choke point.

[@eclecticspaghetti]

Great Blue has gained a rather chaotic energy over the past few videos and frankly I’m here for it.

[@arghast5630]

Finally some pro-random crit content, much obliged

[@tobiaswerner4418]

4:27 He made hooveys into claymores

[@bethmoth22]

Thanks a lot, now I'm genuinely upset some of these aren't already in the base game. Someone needs to get on this, ot would really shake up the game. Or if it was at least available in a "shaken up" game mode option similar to togglable crits making another option for "extra crit bonuses" or something?? There is so much potential here

[@0xBnuuy]

I'm the developer who made the mod! So many random ideas with no care for balance, I love it!!! feel free to ask me any questions about it. by far my favorite change was the base jumper, the way the physics turned out made it very fun to use.

[@smolneko9294]

waitwaitwait what happened with the base jumper- we need to know

[@0xBnuuy]

@@smolneko9294 the base jumper has infinite hover and also cancels all vertical momentum to allow for extremely short hops. I also reverted it's ability to re-deploy in midair

[@smolneko9294]

@@0xBnuuy omggg first that sounds so much fun, second thamk for reverting that haha

[@Seal_Dev]

Can you make this an actual server sp we can experience these for ourselves?

[@spookith]

if you made a server with these im sure alot of people would play on it

[@Flynn217something]

6:42 "If your dead ringer is triggered and it's a random crit, you get full damage immunity for the full duration of the cloak on top of the 50% speed boost. Making it only slightly more powerful than the pre-nerf version." I KEK'd

[@joanaguayoplanell4912]

I suppose the Quick-Fix also gets the random triple knockback of rocket jumping (with utterly hillarious results if stacked with a crit Sticky Jumper)

[@andydandy2161]

Crit sandvich instantly kills you because there was something crunchy in it

[@captain_hammer]

Equalizer and Escape Plan critical taunt kills should be identical to the usual taunt kill, but you somehow survive the explosion with no damage taken

[@demi-femme4821]

No. Crit kamikaze kills everyone and kicks you from the server.

[@VenetinOfficial]

A random crit kritzkrieg uber would engage hyperkritz, where everything basically is just instakill for 8 seconds. you might wanna develop a new effect for that

[@sythrus]

I would actually love the idea of a sanvich sidegrade that doesn't heal, but damages enemies on pickup. What it would do for teammates is debatable

[@Neubulae]

I think itself as a gamemode would work well with shounic's "Fair Crits" plugin, it actually feels quite nice to have with that!

[@snipperjoey1151]

A crit bonk removing player collision would actually be awful because the main competitive use for bonk is bodyblocking medics. Similarly sentry knockback can often be used by an intelligent scout to propel themselves to a better position. I think it'd make more sense to give the crit bonk a speed boost and remove the speed drain.

[@milesellis4534]

I think it should give full noclip, if you aren't careful, you get sent to the shadow realm

[@demi-femme4821]

Crit Bonk completely freezes the game for evryome in a radius of the Scout except for other Crit Bonked Scouts. Drink so much sugar and radiation that you become a Jojo reference.

[@fpteamkvitka6223]

I just love content like this Coming up with things that would never be added in the game, but just saying "what if" and working out the details brings so much joy to me

[@jaseb5120]

4:32 what they EXPECTED? IT'S SPARKLING??? SO THEY CAN"T EAT IT?????? well... when did your teammates grow steel teeth?

[@Jebthemagician]

Awesome video! Love how well made this is. Keep it up!

[@protogenhorde8515]

1:28 I genuinely was scared for a second when I heard this part before he clarified:”like holy fuck , what the hell man?” After hearing the actual stats:”oh, huh, neat”

[@mainaccount763]

It's like Uber

[@joao2479]

Would be cool if the mediguns also built uber faster, the sapper made the buildings explode like they do when the engie uses the crit destruction PDA on them and the wrangler had the laser itself also do damage, the wrangler thing would actually be pretty unique as the closes thing we have to laser turrets in TF2 is a few guns ig

[@AmaroqStarwind]

There’s a WIP plugin that makes your weapon start glowing ahead of time when your next attack is going to be a random crit, that way it’s slightly less unfair to your enemies

[@smugthemugger7158]

I'd love to play this. I hope you do a community server with these changes.

[@ohnocringewasnothere]

**eats food** **Hears the crit sound effect** *OH THIS IS BAD. OH NOO-* **explodes**

[@sirreginaldfishingtonxvii6149]

The virgin _"random crits are inherently unbalanced so we should remove them"_ vs the chad _"add random crits to _*_all_*_ weapons, then it's balanced"_

[@Das_Psycho]

Interesting idea! Would love to see a setver run this and see how broken gameplay was

[@AlbertGaming20]

This should be great idea if you create community server with this mod. Please do it.

[@press8704]

0X did an awesome job on this! Great work all around

[@kizunahenta.1759]

I'd honestly love to see a community server with something like this, pog

[@puppieslovies]

TF2 deserves a hyper casual mode where everything gets wacky like this Also add in the mannpower powerups and it would be hilarious Also, the whole purpose of the red tape is to destroy a building slowly. I think it should downgrade each building to level 13x as fast and have 3x health if it crit, but still do less damage

[@EliteCameraBuddy]

6:00 the medic abiut to crit the sniper as you hit him: *french screaming*

[@TheExpertArcher]

I would 100% watch a video of a compilation of gameplay of these rules. I feel like a montage of it would be a killer idea

[@breadtf2844]

8:23 nice PvZ remix

[@chronic5577]

I was kinda hoping that Critical Sandvich would give Heavy, and his teammates, Uber for 1:00

[@georgiishmakov9588]

critical airblast either yeets the opponent out of the map, or makes every projectile reflected into hitscan.

[@lukemimnagh4185]

“I won’t give away my methods”- oh, but I already KNOW, my friend, you can’t hide that easily…

[@zenithzv]

I think the best sniper nerf would to remove headshots and let the sniper rifle random crit

[@punnyperson4663]

I think only melees (besides demo knight) should be able to random crit

[@pvtblu1613]

Yeah it feels like crits and bonesaws go hand in hand

[@doubledee8677]

Even melees critting is bullshit. Nothing should be able to randomly crit, the game randomly deciding a fight that's basically guaranteed to end one way ends completely the other way through no fault of either player is straight up bullshit and indefensible.

[@DarkFlameVee]

@@doubledee8677 And here's Mr. 'RaNdOm CrItS sHoUnDn'T bE In ThE gAmE'

[@doubledee8677]

@@DarkFlameVee Do you have an actual rebuttal or do you just want to be childish?

[@DarkFlameVee]

@@doubledee8677 Other than you being the childish one complaining about something that TF2 had day one? Random crits are never going away, either you can go play something like Fortnite or Minecraft, or you learn to take a random crit in the face and move on

[@AndromedaMarcus]

we now need a server that revolves around all the most popular maps with those effects

[@thicboibigsmoke7220]

A crit gas passer on mvm with the explosion seems…terrifying

[@maskgas9810]

How come Valve hasn’t hired you yet?

[@tymunster]

Excellent, very nice. Now host a tf2 tourney with these rules

[@davidfowl2647]

Not gonna lie, the critacola ubercharge joke totally got me. Spot on delivery and everything. Had a good laugh

[@wormius51]

I like that you actually show the weapons in action and not just talking in theory.

[@verminlordsoulberry8823]

3:17 Valve hasn't hired you yet because they are hiring bots to do people's in game jobs.

[@Nukestarmaster]

I think a better crit effect for the red tape recorder would be something like: increased sapper health Health regen slower deconstruction effect It would actually enhance the weapons strength instead of making it worse.

[@GeneralZimmer]

You should make a part 2. I can imagine there's a few weapons you missed and new ideas might come up for existing ones.

[@ianjackson4721]

Imagine seeing a base jumper soldier in the air, not falling down, and then he launches 8 rockets in a second or two. Imagine how broken the air strike would be if paired with the base jumper. Lmao.

[@im-bad-at-games9639]

0:35 this youtuber has been banned

[@DoggusMannus]

when i looked at the description i got the mental image of heavy giving his medic his sandvich and the sandvich just randomly explodes and kills the medic

[@Velindian]

You could probably start to balance crit boosting the more insane crits (like the banners) by making it drain all the charge and impose a cooldown before uber can be charged again. Having the crit occur on a per person basis or even just only having the crit effect occur for the soldier could be interesting too.

[@GilliganTF2]

Funny you mention random crit on Mad Milk, i use it all the time and one time i throwed the Mad Milk and it was glowing like it was a random crit, i never knew it could do that

[@zachlewis9751]

Throwing a kritzkrieg on a buff banner soldier to give your entire team crits is hilarious.

[@A_very_good_cheese]

He put soo much effort into this video cleary for him that question was of Critical matter

[@mr.calamity8886]

This was the best foreign art film I've ever seen.

[@royplatt455]

The Jumper, Parachute, and Thermal Thruster crits... I want those

[@funtechu]

I really want to see a community server with these changes implemented.

[@thatonedude920]

Imagine your medic has finally built up uber, you charge the final point with uber charge activated while it's on overtime, only for a heavy to get a random taunt crit on your medic and insta-killing him despite being undercharged, thus ruining your whole push

[@headlites33]

I guess if demo had two critical stickies with the base sticker jumper sends him flying into the stratosphere.

[@RGGaming940]

Crit disguise: fully fills your cloak meter. Me, a YER main: *yes, good.*

[@MrMild-sv7is]

Any enemy hit by a thrown sandvich immediately explodes into a glorious plume of cold-cuts.

[@orangeinkius7257]

Imagine you're trying to finally end the cycle of violence of a 2fort server that's been running for 4 hours and your team has coordinated the perfect uber push and then the second you walk into the intel room and pop it a heavy with a kritzkrieg pocket medic erases you and your hopes from existence with a finger gun and an invisible bullet

[@hentailover3659]

I’m not gonna lie that sounds like it would be a lot of fun to have all of these in the game

[@pancreasexpert]

Another fun crit effect for tauntkills would be instantly dominating whoever you kill. I think it’d be hilarious to hit a scoped sniper and the game tells him you are literally the bane of his existence

[@purplehaze2358]

I feel like this version of TF2 would be the only video game you're allowed to play in hell.

[@TheJosiahTurner]

fun fact: 2:25 was an actual thing in game for a while when you were lit on fire there was a bug where the base jumper would prevent you from falling down people treated it like it was a feature though, like a hot air balloon

[@Nightmare_52]

for the sapper or red tape recorder they could have an aoe stun effect to shut off all buildings nearby and stun any players with the kill animation for laser weapons before returning to normal

[@NoobisMcNoob]

There should be a community server where it’s 100% crits and it has these stats for the non damaging items

[@GoldDragon20]

Just realized that a buff banner soldier with beggars in mvm with that effect would rip waves to shreds. Grinding Australium with a medic and four other buddies would be a cinch. Or just hopping into a game with randoms and just top damaging, the idea for this would be so cool

[@ffwast]

Wow, most of these are way better than how random crits work now.

[@charsage1036]

Honestly with taunt kills you can make all of them unique in a way like pyro Hadouken having range or kamikaze taunt not killing you or being much faster.

[@gregoirebasseville4797]

The banners would cascade into absolute chaos and I want part of it

[@davidjones8047]

I like how these range from changing like 4 different mechanics on the item to “it just fucking explodes”

[@DaltonIzHere]

Maybe for the non-manual items, the crits would trigger if the next shot of your last active weapon was gonna be a random crit.

[@callumprice1710]

Imagine just soldiers with the crit buffs on their buff banners constantly passing crits around.

[@DoABarrelRol1l]

I like Kritz medics helping engies build during pre round. Usually if you have 2+ engies or one joins during set up they can’t get everything lvl 3 before round start. Also just plopping down a lvl 3 w/no build time while retreating with your medic would be amazing.

[@louis4038]

I kinda love these ideas, if there was a more single player thing for tf2 these random 'crit' statuses would be a fun mechanic I bet

[@zenumber]

you just said everything what community thinks about random crits in 15 seconds

[@menyatarigeny6833]

I love to see these on a server just so I can experience hell 2 electric boogaloo

[@fentoncs1156]

right now you're my favorite tf2 youtuber :)

[@natanaelhernandez9608]

Spy dying to a crit razorback would make for a very hilarious moment. Since not only not a single spy ever stabs the thing, but in the 1 in 1000 chance that not only does a spy stab it but also die to the crit it’d be like winning the lottery, which would be extremely hilarious.