What if I'm not physically attracted enough?

The power of your mind can determine what you find attractive, and if you don't want them, let them go.
Website:
www.lamaabouba...

[@lamaaboubakr29]

Please do not shame yourself if you can't find someone attractive, If you're not attracted they're not your person. and, I want to challenge the internalized body shaming/colorism/unrealistic standards that make it challenging to find people naturally attractive.

[@nishranasar]

@iamaaboubak I want to know how to deal with rejections comes like you are too tall, not slim enough, not photogenic as a girl. In this video you was telling us not to expect much from men which I agree, but boys keep on rejecting girls on physical appearance. How to deal with that

[@ranahuwaidi3715]

I’ve been thinking and asking this for years, no one has been able to answer my questions SubhanAllah, except for you. That’s a gift from Allah.

[@diarraseydouhadabere1467]

Finding your account is i think one of the best things that ever happened to me May Allah bless you and the knowledge you're spreading biddiahi Rassoulilah ASWS🥰🥰🥰

[@kb4432]

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A woman is married for four reasons: her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion. Thus, give precedence to one with religion.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4802, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1466 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

[@Illyas-yk]

Salam I just wanted to mention that I had ur vids pop up in my fyp for some reason soo I decided to watch ur content and even though your content is somewhat targeted for single sisters but as a younger guy I am finding it quite interesting to see the perspective of the search from the females PoV through your content.

[@Sarafara7]

I feel her content is for both men and women.

[@Illyas-yk]

@@Sarafara7 some of it yes but most of it is her talking specifically to her female audience

[@hope23389]

I agree with your perspective on how physical attraction is related to body image! I realised i relate to it so much , it honestly made me tear up Thanks for the video

[@ibraheemkhan9116]

As a guy, After this video, one thing I feel like I need to start asking potentials is if they have any body dismorphia or self esteem issues before the exchanging of photos so I can preface my self 😅

[@OlafKlaus-kx3kn]

Don't forget to drink KESKARA before the game 😁

[@zaymac7776]

habiti I read the title and couldn't click more fast enough! I feel this heavily ;(

[@ranahuwaidi3715]

You literally answered my questions, I’ve been too ashamed to ask. SubhanAllah.

[@MosmMAli]

I believe physical attraction comes first,then common values around something bigger than both partners, compatibility

[@sadigolestani]

DO NOT marry someone you’re not physically attracted to. It is against the Sunnah according to Imam Ahmed. Marriage: Ask about Beauty First - الإمام أحمد Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal said: ‎إذَا خَطَبَ رَجُلٌ امْرَأَةً سَأَلَ عَنْ جَمَالِهَا أَوَّلًا. ‎فَإِنْ حُمِدَ: سَأَلَ عَنْ دِينِهَا. ‎فَإِنْ حُمِدَ: تَزَوَّجَ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يُحْمَدْ: يَكُونُ رَدُّهُ لِأَجْلِ الدِّينِ. ‎ وَلَا يَسْأَلُ أَوَّلًا عَنْ الدِّينِ، فَإِنْ حُمِدَ سَأَلَ عَنْ الْجَمَالِ. ‎ فَإِنْ لَمْ يُحْمَدْ رَدَّهَا. فَيَكُونُ رَدُّهُ لِلْجَمَالِ لَا لِلدِّينِ “When a man proposes marriage to a woman, he should first ask about her beauty. If he’s happy with (her beauty), then he should ask about her religion. If he’s happy with her religious practise, then he should marry her. If [her religious practise is found to be] not good, then his rejection is due to religion. [A person proposing] should NOT first ask about religion, for if it’s good and _then_ he asks about beauty (he will potentially have to reject a religious woman over beauty). If [the beauty] is not praised and he rejects her, then his rejection of her will be due to beauty and not religion.” Al-Insaaf", 8/19 Some people misunderstand that Hadith about women getting married for 4 reasons - they think ONLY Religion is important. That's not what that Hadith means. That Hadith means: Religion is the MOST important factor, and NOT that it is the ONLY important factor. It is also important that BOTH husband AND wife find each other physically attractive. Ibn Qudamah says in 'al-Mughni', (5347): ‎وَيَخْتَارُ الْجَمِيلَةَ ؛ لِأَنَّهَا أَسْكَنُ لِنَفْسِهِ ، وَأَغَضُّ لِبَصَرِهِ ، وَأَكْمَلُ لِمَوَدَّتِهِ ، وَلِذَلِكَ شُرِعَ النَّظَرُ قَبْلَ النِّكَاحِ . "He should choose a beautiful woman, because she will give him a greater sense of tranquillity, and is more likely to help him lower his gaze and there will be more love between them. This is why the Shariah allowed one to look at their fiancee before marriage." Umar Ibn al Khattab رضیﷲ عنه said: ‎"Do not force your girls to marry ugly men, because they also love (beauty) like you love (beauty)." ‎[Musannaf of Ibn abi shaybah 4/94] Likewise, women should choose a husband that they are attracted to. But beauty without Religion is useless. Also some psychologists say physical attraction doesn’t often build afterwards if it wasn’t there before www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/magnetic-partners/201311/the-role-physical-attraction-in-your-relationship

[@volimneretvu8923]

Thats something new I learned! Thank you for sharing! Islam is really all encompassing

[@kb4432]

This is misleading. We know that as soon as our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) came to Madina, he started pairing up men and women for marriage. The criteria for a proposal is laid out in the following hadith. This is also the most authentic type of hadith out there : Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A woman is married for four reasons: her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion. Thus, give precedence to one with religion.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4802, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1466 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

[@fardeenmahmud8866]

⁠@@kb4432You should definitely not marry someone you’re not attracted to, and yes, this is the ruling in Islam. Intimacy is the right of the husband and wife over each other. How can this right be fulfilled if there is little to no attraction? Such marriages never succeed. Also, being religious and good looking don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I’ve seen practicing Muslims who are also physically attractive. There’s nothing wrong with wanting both. In fact, you can’t truly love your spouse if you don’t find him/her at least somewhat attractive.

[@kb4432]

@@fardeenmahmud8866 So why did our prophet (PBUH) marry an old widow by the name of Sawda (RA) who wasn't attractive? It's not all about beauty. For women, marraige is also a form of physical protection, financial security and shelter. Allah did not create women to be alone. Read the above hadith again and please refrain from saying "should not".

[@kb4432]

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1467 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim

[@abdifatahali4733]

I’ve never seen someone explain it in such an interesting unique way like this! Wow! M’a.

[@SoldierofGod-519]

That all depends on the person. I make it a habit to go on walks and exercise with my wife, It's fun activities you can do together, push each other, and always improve your body. Don't be hesitant in marrying a girl who is beautiful but a little chubby, a few years in the gym and she will be good.

[@thebrotherhood1675]

nice one lama u smashed it, but your coaching is too expensive, i have to be one of those guys watching "how to make 10k per month videos" lol

[@razer0072073]

It's called dual mating strategy. The guy who's not physically attractive is good to have a family with, security, stability, etc, but the guy that she finds physically attractive is genuine desire and is good for genetics

[@Kaleki935]

Literal cope. Just do more push-ups, it's not hard. If you work too hard to exercise, you're literally being paid to work out daily and you'll naturally improve. Your entire passage is just refusing to take the reins.

[@fardeenmahmud8866]

@@razer0072073 There are men out there with both qualities. I’ve seen them. But will the average woman ever find a man like that? Allahu a’lam. I’d say that we men face a similar struggle. Yes, men have a dual mating strategy too. And I say this as a man. Let me explain. We want a good wife, mother and homemaker, but we also find very beautiful women attractive. But 9 times out of 10, the women who are extremely beautiful tend to be cold, rude, and stuck up and would never make good wives or mothers.

[@thebrotherhood1675]

what?

[@1010BARCA1010]

If you have none ...

[@mrgr]

@@Kaleki935your face/head remain the same with 0 or 1000 pushups a day

[@visual_learner_c0des]

I’m a Christian but great advice and video

[@assiabns1433]

I am 26 yo ugly woman and till this day no one ever liked or proposed to me except the one person who left me when they saw me in real life, now I really came to the conclusion that my fate is to be single forever, I always tell my mom, freinds and family that I don't want to get married when in reality no one wants me and I am ashamed to say it..I think there is real pretty and they is the bare minimum of pretty which can be subjective but true ugliness is known and rejected

[@olegnurmagomedov750]

Hey don't say that. Even if you are "below bare minimum of pretty" you should not believe it or let it get to you. You are Allah's creation. Your face / body is created by Allah as such. It may be a test for you. Thank Allah for whatever you have and don't be ungrateful. In Sha Allah, Allah will send someone your way.

[@olegnurmagomedov750]

And I bet I would not find you unattractive because I don't see women via the eye of the general beauty standard. I believe that someone like me will eventually come your way.

[@jacobsoto7228]

Heights the biggest factor I think for physical attraction because there are tons of women who want to be submissive and petite. And apparently a short guy can't give these desires.

[@starbright5633]

Beauty is very important

[@Saig.e]

I always ask myself what if im not attractive enough? Even though a lot of people tell me i am good-looking, i dont think i can ever feel good about my appearance. I just can't stand my features and I dont like looking at the mirror. Because of these thoughts i will never be ready to be in a relationship because i know that even if they thought i was attractive, deep inside, i wont believe it. I'll always feel like im not good eneugh and that there is a better person out there for them, for example i dont even like talking to people up close or doing eye contact because im worried that they might notice how ugly i am so how will i be able to be close with my future spouse if thats all i think about?. I just feel so disgusted of myself, i cant describe it but i feel so physically and mentally uncomfortable for being me, in this body.

[@omarir-gw3ku]

I have the same feelings, unfortunately for I don't even feel like a human

[@illegal-tints-onyourcar]

Do you shower everyday, use soap shampoo, have nice nails and smell good, use bidet etc? Then you are a lot better than these models

[@missmong12]

I know exactly how you guys feel. This is not healthy and try your best to fix it. I know any advice or suggestions given to you will feel like easier said than done. But try your best. Stop comparing yourself with others, Allah made you so be proud of that, there are also bad things that come with being too pretty, maybe if you were too pretty you wouldn't be able to handle it (trust me I know this too damn well) All of this mental gymnastics will work, sooner or later. Just try and apply it. Limit social media, or just play with your algorithm. It's not just mental stuff, you could also try to look better. Exercise, eat better and try to style yourself better, if you like makeup, learn that, but keep it minimal you don't want to hide your face but to enhance it. Unless you're physically deformed, I truly believe there's no ugly people. You can enhance yourself in many natural ways. You will also look more attractive if you have a kind soul and good with people.

[@celestial5036]

The way I feel attacked

[@khadsykoo2528]

What if your issue is your own body image issues? How do you address this?

[@peterali2059]

Money=attractive❤

[@KasishAgarwal90]

MAY ALLAH GUIDE AND PROTECT FROM EVERY THING AMEEN. AND SISTER I HAVE QUESTIONS ARE YOU REVERT MUSLIMAH?

[@lilaclieutenant3675]

i am getting arranged to a guy i don't find him attractive, but i cant run away from this marriage, its my parents choice.....

[@lilaclieutenant3675]

but the guy is the nicest guy i have ever met

[@lilaclieutenant3675]

but we have no chemistry

[@One-rr8um]

Discuss with your parents and be transparent with the guy. It will cause problems later.

[@ajax1472]

Just reject him, we are in 2024​@@lilaclieutenant3675

[@kb4432]

@@lilaclieutenant3675 Two people can easily grow to love each other, especially for the sake of Allah. I've seen many of these traditional marriage work out for the long run. On the other hand I've seen lots of 'love' marriages end in ruin or the couple can't conceive. Make everyone happy and InshaAllah, Allah will make you happy and increase your Barakah.

[@MosmMAli]

Omg the sack of potatoes 😂😂

[@obad8466]

I wish i was someone's potatoe 😔

[@MisterMehdi]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm so sorry but this caught me off guard

[@zehra5395]

Maybe not everyone has a spouse.

[@omarir-gw3ku]

Yeah life is cope

[@mennaamin5079]

ok what if he is a good person , he is handsome but his height is my problem i have always wanted some one taller than me this makes me feel more feminine i dunno i dont feel that with him is this some thing i can deal with ?

[@ajax1472]

I feel bad for the short guy, life is brutal

[@mennaamin5079]

@@ajax1472 the purpose of the video is how to deal with u being not attracted to other person , and i am asking fr , i didnt say any thing bad abt him i did mentioned he is a good one , i just cant deal with that point (the height )and i rlly need an answer , height is some physical character that i search for in the other person but i can sacrifice it for him ,i just wanna make sure i wont regret , we are still at the begining

[@ajax1472]

@@mennaamin5079 if you are not attracted to that person then why would you get married to him? Remember attraction isn't always about looks Personality and compatibility is very important too

[@lamaaboubakr29]

If you can't appreciate him where he is right now then have someone else appreciate him, there are people who marry someone shorter than them but if you can't handle it then let him go.

[@LabbaykYaMahdi313]

This is outright shallow and makes me dislike women

[@turkymurky8433]

FOR REAL. THESE POTATOES MAKE ME MAD. HOW??!!! LIKE HOW DO THEY DO IT??!!

[@SamjohnJohn]

Ask your grandmother, trust me she knows things you don’t

[@KingOfStrapFanboy922]

But how do you determine your minimum attraction threshold? Because there are a lot of ppl i technically find attractive but i tend to disqualify them because they dont meet all the boxes in my physical standard checklist (features, height, physique, etc).

[@lamaaboubakr29]

Humans aren't checklists, they're someone to love and grow with. If you're focused on physical features that won't matter 10 years from now, you have to re-evaluate.

[@ajax1472]

Looks and height

[@Servant_Of_The_Great]

“Look in the mirror first” - Sheik Assim Al Hakeem

[@EricaRyan-s3i]

😶

[@jilalaco]

hahahah “dusty looking husbands, &potatoes”. hahahaha. well that sounds like me if i ever get married. because marriage turns you in to a potatoe or a dad bod dusty man. at least that’s what i have heard.

[@SoldierofGod-519]

That all depends on the person. I make it a habit to go on walks and exercise with my wife, It's fun activities you can do together, push each other, and always improve your body. Don't be hesitant in marrying a girl who is a little chubby, a few years in the gym and she will be good.

[@jilalaco]

@@SoldierofGod-519thanks for the advice brother. but it’s still a funny picture in my mind.

[@Bb-pw1zi]

Do Arabs or Turkish people find white reverts attractive or do they have no hope in finding a partner?

[@sapok4925]

Ich habe dein Kommentar vorhin gelesen. Du wohnst in einer Großstadt und sicherlich sind auch dort andere Communities außer türkische oder arabische. Außerdem stimme ich deiner Aussage nicht zu, da ich aus einer Kleinstadt komme und hier konvertierte Schwestern und Brüder in eine türkische/arabische Familie als Konvertierte eingeheiratet haben. Alles ist Nasip. Mach viel Dua Bruder.

[@sapok4925]

und heirate niemanden mit der Intension, dass sie vielleicht konvertieren wird. Das kann ganz schnell nach hinten losgehen. Möge Allah unsere Angelegenheit erleichtern

[@goldensali]

Beauty is subjective, some men will find you attractive and some men won’t. No matter what is your colour

[@sapok4925]

@@MehmetK_98 ich habe das gleiche Problem. Meine Eltern würden auch nur einen Türken erlauben. Für mich hingegen ist es nicht wichtig und es gibt meiner Meinung nach wichtigere Sachen, die man suchen sollte in einem Partner. Ehrlich gesagt habe ich das Gefühl, dass wir Türken immer noch diese alte Denkweise haben. Wenn ich mir andere Paare mit verschiedenen backgrounds anschaue, sieht es definitiv anders aus. Möge Allah unsere Angelegenheiten erleichtern.

[@sarakhalidswis55]

GIVING UGLY MEN A CHANCE IS CRAZY

[@sarakhalidswis55]

AND SHORT MEN????

[@MuhammadMotala]

Missed the point of the entire video. What a shame

[@sarahnovella4971]

GIVING UGLY WOMEN A CHANCE IS CRAZY AND FAT WOMEN???? some dude somewhere will definitely have the same mindset as you lol

[@kb4432]

Read the story of Julaybib. He was A very ugly sahabi, but our Beloved prophet (PBUH) desired him to have a normal life. Read about the woman who married him and the level of her eman.

[@thebrotherhood1675]

dont be such a jaahil man have some class and respect for Allah

[@LabbaykYaMahdi313]

Women are attracted to shaythan main problem