What is a funny and/or unexpected D&D moment that you will never forget? #1

[@Limey8108]

My rogue once sold magic dirt as a security system to a town. Despite the charlatan background, the dirt was magical, and it did light up in the dark.

[@My_initials_are_O.G.cuz_I_am]

If it was bright enough, it could protect the town against monsters that are afraid of light.

[@timob1681]

@@My_initials_are_O.G.cuz_I_am while also attracting the other ones!

[@andresmarrero8666]

At least they could use that as a messaging and earlier warning system. Pretty hard to hide when the ground is glowing.

[@someone4650]

Ooh like streets with built in lamps!

[@destructor3152]

A wizard casts feather fall too late. Hits the ground and dies. Feather burst out of his robe with a fart sound.

[@Nobert594]

I'm DMing my first campaign and the other day I had to narrate the party tying a rat to a crossbow bolt and shooting it up a Noble's behind

[@alexmiller1800]

Was the rat the party Druid?

[@Ace_DM_2520]

During a one shot the party’s sorcerer tamed a pet fay dragon and the rouge being pretty annoyed that he didn’t get it tried to hit the dragon with his rapier. He got a Nat 20 and decapitated the newborn dragon A few months later, during a session 0, the same rouge got a nat 20 when trying to hit the same sorcerer with a fish and since they had just came out of combat, the sorcerer nearly died from the fish. This earned the rouge’s player the nickname of “The Codfather”

[@Gottaloveaxolotls]

Soladarity will be pleased. If you know you know, also might have botched the spelling, idk)

[@ancapftw9113]

Sorcerer: *wakes up a severed dragon head*

[@Ace_DM_2520]

@@Gottaloveaxolotls I only realised why he was called the codfather after I had this moment with my player

[@aranelnemonia6376]

@Gotta love axolotls I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT (/not upset) I hope he and the sorcerer blew up the world by combining that fish with a salmon. /lh

[@bodhi_bear2878]

I would be genuinely pissed if an immature player killed my baby dragon omg. I would probably try to kill them

[@Maddog3060]

The story of an airship powered by the angry, screaming soul of an evil abomination is just the funniest thing I've heard all week.

[@laargboolag9147]

Jarvis, set course for Atallia. *F**#CK** YOU MY NAME IS VARDALLIN KEEPER OF SOULS. SET ME FREEEEEE*

[@crowbar_the_rogue]

It was the beginning of our first ever session (well, the DM was a veteran, but we players were all new). Naturally, it began in a tavern. The Wizard was sitting by herself and drinking beer. The Paladin, unwilling to drink alcohol but ashamed to admit it, ordered apple juice but in a glass that is usually used for beer. Then she sat next to the wizard and began the conversation with: "So, is the beer any good?"

[@Griff1011]

That's pretty fucking hilarious.

[@jasonroberts7558]

In a Pathfinder campaign, the party was about to go after the bbeg in his tower. He was known to be creepy af by the local authorities but he ran the local "asylum" from his tower in the bay. I (gnome rogue) basically convinced the ferryman that we were going in for a job interview. Well typical boss fight involving zombies, surgical hybrids, etc ensues. We finally managed to beat the creepy doctor and his cohorts but a fire started that we had no interest in putting out. We booked it to the ferryman and arrived as the fire was reaching the outside. Upon seeing the confused look on his face, I could only think to say, "The interview didn't go as expected." Everyone at the table lost it including the DM. Good times were had by all.

[@amberkat8147]

That is hilarious, tbh.

[@justinprater6248]

Honestly the most unexpected thing that happened was our DM dropping a tarrasque on us. The hints were there admittedly as the npc who sent us to it described it as “strong against magic” “just didn’t die no matter what” and we ended up turning the fuck around when it popped out of the tree line and booking it. To add to this, a DMPC who was traveling with us was actually in its throat and cut her way out. And as if that wasn’t crazy enough, a well placed web spell actually caused it to trip. That battle was glorious even if we were unable to actually end the thing.

[@amberkat8147]

OMG that Zariel mom rant is AWESOME, and I fully agree with her on that. Hey! Four! That barbarian who lassoed a dragon should really have gotten some cool folklore-type title for that, that's cool.

[@shadowfox2438]

And to imagine an airship powered by a lich who is just comically shouting abuse at birds

[@joshuahaynes1032]

I had a warlock that was contracted to his fey grandmother. He had to bake cookies, knit, quilt, and garden with her once a month.

[@kiilgore806]

This one is from tomb of annihilation. We went to the dragon turtle's lair to negotiate with it because we thought he had a magic item from a set that the dm put into this campaign. To get there we had to swim through an area with sharks. We were playing a gestalt game (double classes) but the important half is that I was playing a fathomless warlock. At some point this warlock gets to speak underwater and all creatures understand my speech. (And I theirs). My dm ruled that this passes works on animals as well. So basically somewhat Aquaman mode. I try to talk to the pack of reef sharks there and let us pass by. Apperently the bigger sharks (hunter sharks) were bullies of the smaller sharks for some reason. So I told the sharks to unite together. All of the reef sharks would group up and take the ready action to bite when a larger shark was in reach. Aside from that small damage I did to lure them one by one... The smaller sharks shredded the larger sharks before they had the chance to act. (Granted action economy was on their side. Like.... 8 or 11? I think? Vs 4 who came 1 by 1. Don't remember the specific number of reef sharks.) Tldr, I led a shark revolution. Sharks together strong.

[@mistamemewide]

“BABY SHARK DO DOO DOO DOO”

[@remraven6443]

I was playing in a game as a blood Hunter with the blood maledict called blood curse of the fallen puppet. We were in a rough spot during some political intrigue where we were fighting the evil guard captain, during the fight a super important noble saw it and was rallying his men to help save the gaurd captain. As we killed him, a sneakily used my blood curse to have the corpse of the gaurd attack the noble, just before I fired a second arrow into his body, visually seeming to kill him with that shot. The Noble ended up believe the captainwas acting on his own, got our asses out of alot of hot water

[@immortalsoldier1367]

Best moment I've had was a homebrew I was running. Party went to a town stuck in a timeloop where a super powerful demon would break free, wreck the town, and then it would reset though if you weren't originally in the loop you were unaffected. Party spent a while gathering information and items before heading to the local temple to pray for help. They had to roll anything other then a 1 to get some sort of blessing. Our fighter-type (forgot the actual class but close enough) rolled a 20 and got a massive great sword that could manipulate its own gravity giving it insanely high damage and a +6 to hit. Caster goes next and rolled a 1. Huge display of lights, trumpets, a heavenly orchestra and when everything faded and they could see again there was just a solid gold hand giving them the middle finger

[@WreckerOfMoons]

My DND group's most recent session began with our halfling paladin eating a leaf thinking it was a gummy bear then getting his ass kicked by sentient twigs because he pissed off their god while my character stood there laughing at him instead of trying to help, and ended with my character getting a NAT 20 on a charisma check while trying to save the same paladin from a dragon.....You can make a few guesses on where this went. The funnier part of all this was fact that our DM did not have the whole getting betrothed to a dragon thing planned at all, he was originally going to have the dragon attack us and then run away.

[@LocalMaple]

DM, trying to set a scary mood: As you wander seemingly alone, dressed better than a noble, trying to draw out the mass murderer, I need you to make a perception check. Me, as a Female Rune Knight Fairy: Natural 20 for a total of 22! DM, scrambling because he doesn’t want to give me nothing on a Nat20: You see somebody drop out of sight on the roof of a 1 story building, 70 feet away from you. Me: I point out the roof to my party behind me. Bard: I run, dash, and Misty Step. DM, scrambling: In front of you is a part-Orc boy. Bard: “What are you doing up here?” I’d like to intimidate. DM, after roll: “I’m sorry mister! I thought your daughter was pretty!” * Bard: Maybe the mass murderer can use spells like Disguise Self. I crack my whip over his head. DM: It passes over harmlessly. _Four minutes of interrogation later irl…_ Bard’s player: Wait. So this character… is just a snot nosed kid who thinks Stardust is pretty? DM, exhausted: YES! * Running joke, my fairy is 2’8”, and my first meet-up was the human bard who was a couple years younger than me even without the Feywild time distortion. Every other player thought I was his daughter at first, and most NPCs. Said bard player hates that joke, and I am loving it!

[@NerrawGnap]

This deserves way more likes. 😂

[@z3r0koo17]

Playing a home brew AD&D about 25 years ago. Playing as a ranger/druid. Got caught in the woods by a group of ettercaps. Killed all but one in my own defense and took the last one captive for questioning. As I was resting for the night my camp was attacked by a bugbear. Not wanting to be a bad guy I cut the ettercap loose and told it to run then followed my own advice. I came across Avery steep cliff and with the bug bear gaining on me I ripped a still living chunk of bark from a tree then proceeded to surk down the cliff face which was wooded and not vertical but still very steep. I made every reflex save except the final one and fell unconscious at the foot of the cliff. The bugbear was not so lucky and tumbled to its death in an attempt to follow me. Upon regaining consciousness I freak for a moment because the bugbear landed next to me. Realizing what had happened I fashioned the pelt into hide armor, the claws and teeth into a necklace and ate the remains. I also carried the femur and used it as a staff for 90% of that campaign.

[@Glimare]

Shared this story tons of times but here I try again! Not me, but my siblings' campaign. 1st, 2nd, or AD&D, it was either the late 80s or early 90s, but they never stopped joking about it. The group had to break into a thieves' den and get something but they didn't want to do a lot of fighting for some reason. So they put someone at their front door while the rest got ready to break in through the back or another entrance. When she knocked, they opened and, "AVON CALLING!!!" Posing as a saleswoman, my sister managed to distract over half of the thieves with her products and managed to even sell some while the rest got their job done. Guys at the door didn't even realize they were robbed until after they were long gone. Every now and again, they bring it up and 'AVON CALLING!' is now a joke no one can ever live down. Another (I think the same campaign) is when my sister's character died and they decided to do reincarnation instead of resurrection. The brother she got along least with was a fighter (paladin?) for some reason decided he'd take control of the situation and when they brought her back as a different creature, he killed her off again! And get her reincarnated as something else. Did this a few times in a row and the DM got sick of it (bro born in between them) and decided she'd turn into a dragon. She ate the older brother and I'm pretty sure the campaign ended then. They still don't get along.

[@justalittlesprout]

Oh boy, I have so many funny and off the wall stories with our ongoing campaign. But I think one of the ones we reference the most is the time our bardlock caused the bubonic plague in hell. We were in a town where imps were invading through portals. And I mean, a LOT of imps. Every session since coming to this town felt like non-stop combat because there were SO MANY imps that WOULDN'T STOP COMING. We were in an alley with imps above us on the rooftops, looking down at us and ready to strike. But the bardlock had the brilliant idea of picking up a rat that was in the trash and ELDRITCH BLASTING IT AT THE IMPS. He rolled a nat 20 and killed one of the imps with the rat, causing the others to scatter. Later on in the same town we realized that the number of imps decreased and the imps that we did come across looked sick and worn down. Turns out that the rat was infected with the plague and now was spreading throughout the hell dimension. Our party is the definition of having really dumb ideas that shouldn't work, but instead going horribly right.

[@jupiter9737]

Literally four days ago, i was playing with my cousin and my bf and it was a standard one-shot campaign that lasted about 4 hours. About halfway through, my bf (a lvl 3 monk) literally hits a goblin so hard, that its head immediately explodes, and the force of it flying through the air caused it to become a projectile, killing a second goblin about 5 feet away. He rolled exactly enough damage to finish off the first and kill the second in one hit. If was glorious.

[@NerrawGnap]

👍

[@NA-zs4xi]

Paladin held reaction to cast purify food and water, qe throw rough 25 gallons of pee on a blood elemental, and paladin purifies it, thus destabilizing the blood elemental, and killing it, needless to say the DM was pissed off lmfao

[@mistamemewide]

That paladin rlly said “Time to take a piss.”

[@rayanderson5797]

Where did you even _get_ 25 gallons of pee? On second thought, I don't wanna know.

[@NA-zs4xi]

@@rayanderson5797 he'd had the jar for months in game

[@nerfer200]

JARATE!!!

[@NerrawGnap]

@@rayanderson5797 your second thought was much smarter.

[@DrakeNightwing]

My group and I are playing an Underdark campaign, and at this particular point in the adventure our characters were still around Level 2 or 3. Our party consisted of two Tabaxi, one Monk (that was me), the other being a Rogue, as well as a Firbolg Druid, a Kobold Wizard, and a Aasimar Sorceress alongside a few NPCs. We'd been traveling through the Underdark for quite a few days heading towards the Dark Lake when we encountered a duergar riding a giant beetle. Thing was, for a duergar he was very unusually chipper and openly friendly, almost gnomish in demeanor and he offered to bring us to a safe spot to rest. Normally, we would have refused as we were very suspicious of this guy's demeanor especially compared to that of a typical duergar, but seeing as we were all in a weakend state (being low on HP and our casters having no spell spots remaining), we reluctantly agreed and we were led to an underground cavernous garden full of massive mushrooms and a varitable assortment of NPCs...approximately 20 or 30 or so, ranging from a few drow to some duergar, to even a couple of deep gnomes, but the most striking one was an umber hulk that was surprisingly docile. We were then approached by a very beautiful Elven woman who promptly introduced herself as Annarei. While some of the NPCs were lounging around, partaking of wine and hallucinogenic narcotics, the others were gorging themselves on food and wine and Annarei bade us to join this for a large feast they were throwing. Our party was even more suspicious but the Insight checks we made told us that she didn't apparently have any ulterior motives...she geninuely wanted us to rest up and have a good time. So, figuring we didn't want to risk venturing back out into the Underdark in our weakened states we accepted the offer and sat down to dine with her and her entourage. The Kobold wizard wasted no time and promptly proceeded to drink himself under the table. However, our Rogue decided to make small talk with Annarei. He thanked her for her hospitality, and wanted to ask a few questions--mainly on directions on how to get to the Dark Lake, among a few other things. As time went on, Annarei liberally imbibed more and more alcohol and got increasingly drunk, and the Rogue proceeded to try his luck with the beautiful elf, inviting her to partake of his own "nightly pleasures" outside of simple food and drink. Annarei was very flattered, but politely, yet very firmly, denied. During the dinner, a horde of zombies emerged from virtually out of nowhere and began to assault the dinner crew, players and NPCs alike, starting with the non-players further out from the dinner table. Some of those who broke off from the initial assault managed to flee to us to quickly inform Annarei of what was going on. Almost immediately, the drunkeness was shocked out of her system...and then she did something that shocked the rest of us, both in character and out. Annarei, in a shock, rose into the air as in her panic she revealed two bat like wings that unfurled from her back. Apparently, she had some sort of Illusory magic or some form of shapeshifting because she revealed not to be an elf...but a succubus. Let me repeat that: A. Succubus. I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of a creature who traditionally is depicted as jumping somebody's bones at the drop of a hat actively refusing to sleep with a roguish would-be paramour. Charisma wasn't even the guy's dump stat!

[@bumblehoney7206]

This is long, but the mood when this happened was key in making it so memorable. Two bounty hunters had chased their target into another world, a homebrew plane/realm, and had discovered he was stealing iron from the material plane to cast a primitive ritual spell for "wish". The players lost a fight to stop him but the stranger only knocked them unconscious to do his spell in peace. Just as they come to, the ritual finishes and a pool of black ink-like slime started bubbling from the earth until it manifested a fetus-like black body dripping black slime from it's non-solid form. It lunged at the mage and bit off his arm. He was confused and frightened, fleeing the mountain. The players fled the mountain into the mushroom woods surrounding the crumbling pile that was once a cavernous dungeon. Exhausted, they met a mycondid who took them underground to rest in this massive canopy of mushrooms and fungus. They awoke on a bed of moss in front of a massive tree that twisted, bringing it's face to them. He asked if they were alright, then asked what happened to the boy in the mountain. He explained to the players that the mage who cast the spell was an orphan, and had become an outlaw assassinating unjust fey lords abusing their power. He lamented concern for the mage, fond of his kindness towards the wild and the beasts. The players were confused and debated among themselves what this meant, who's good and who's bad, and feeling down after losing their big fight. They decide to follow him, to find out the truth before picking a side. After all, his capture was their ticket home. This world's politics didn't concern them. The gunslinger says, "thank you for your time. And for your generosity." "Any...time..." The tree spoke slowly "Can you point us in the right direction?" "I...have.........no arms" The table DIED. we couldn't stop laughing we lost control, the bard falls out of her chair, the gunslinger laughed so hard their face turned beet red and couldn't speak...it was amazing. I didn't skip a beat I never broke character I saw a chance and I fucking TOOK IT

[@MichaelJohnson-fu2ji]

This is by far my favorite of the stories I've read in the comments so far lmfao

[@supriseddragon6737]

And you did gloriously

[@EmpathNaga]

Ravnica setting. We're in a laboratory and facing down a living chaos bolt. Our wild sorcerer tries to attack it and gets a nat1. Next turn comes around and she rolls a nat20 to hit, doing as much damage in one turn as the rest of the party combined! I describe the thunderously loud sound that forces everyone to brace themselves and cover their ears since it's a thunder cromatic orb spell in a big metal room so it's one hell of an echo, and how when they all look up, the sorcerer is staring wide, hand outstretched, at the splotch on the wall where the enemy _used_ to be.

[@zipadeedooda7938]

Sherman, get ready for a long trip in the Wayback Machine. A group of friends and I played Advanced Dungeons & Dragons fairly obsessively from 1979 through 1981, right after all the rulebooks came out. We had multiple DMs, but often not quite enough players to make up a decent sized party. Thus we each played multiple characters. Probably my favorite was my elven magic-user, though my demigod fighter-magic user-cleric-thief-monk was really useful once he got up a few levels. Anyway, one of the DMs also ran a Gamma World campaign. It's a game set in a post-apocalyptic Earth with mutants and high tech. In his D&D world, our very high level characters found a book which gave instructions on building a magical 'spaceship' capable of interdimensional travel as well. Acquiring the components sent us on several quests. One such brought our D&D characters to his Gamma World. They met our characters there and joined forces. I think I actually may still have the marching order somewhere. Having characters from two different universes meet was one of the coolest gaming experiences I've ever had. So our merged party is walking through a forest when a mutated plant attacks us with sonic blast. Fortunately, it didn't do much damage. My dwarven cleric, who as around 16th level, cast a Silence, rendering the thing harmless. My annoyed elven magic user, who was at least 18th level, followed up with a disintegrate. Since magic does not exist in Gamma World, creatures there get no saving throw against it. Bye-bye, noisy plant. I can't recall everything we were looking for in Gamma World, but i do remember getting two giant mushrooms, each several dozen feet in diameter, which we transformed into crystal. Did I mention the 'Spaceship' looked like a giant flying saucer?

[@hose8792]

Just today some friends and I did a session and one of his npc was smoking and I ignorantly accepted the cigar Being a smoker myself I said I take a puff (as he left it open ended to me if I wanted) he then informed to make it a con save of 20 which I passed. Now at this point he informed I smoked hydras blood and my character didn’t flinch then after saying he was feeling “generous” he then offered me something “stronger” I also stupidly accepted. This time the save was a required 22 which I rolled a nat 20 and in response that the dm informed I smoked a demon soul and didn’t flinch and I have resistance to fire damage now. I’m fairly new to the game but this will stick with me as the time I smoked a demon soul pack. Easily one of my most favorite/memorable so far

[@WolfSteel1]

Not gonna lie the part where you were narrating the lich in the ship made me laugh so hard I got weird looks from my coworkers

[@BrianVaughnVA]

LISTEN THE FLYING LICH NEEDS TO BE HEARD!!!!!

[@WolfSteel1]

@@BrianVaughnVA FREEDOM FOR THE LICH!

[@JackCochran-r4h]

once the party I was DMing for was fighting this shadow spirit thing that could only be killed if you drop something that weighs a thousand pounds or more on it. However, we needed to keep it still, and I said the only way to stun it was to hit it with two "knockback" attack from opposite directions. What they were supposed to do was hit it with a spell that does radiant damage, since that stuns him. Instead, the bard and the sorcerer flank it and then hit it with a - no lie - THUNDERWAVE SANDWITCH, stunning it and letting the party drop a goose statue on its head.

[@bobwalsh3751]

11:43 good GOD that monologue.

[@Wolffang1996Hyano]

I have a Dwarf Cleric of Life [from the Starter Kit] & Named him Arm Strong. We're in the castle hide out and I had him hold Guiding bolt. It landed on the bugbear we're facing & as his bonus action he shouted;' TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!?' using this as the incantation for Spiritual Weapon. The item he had appear is a giant tankard. SO, right after blasting a bugbear for 19 points on a surprise round, he also ended his turn with spiritual weapon aka a giant tankard right behind the enemy's ally right behind him. I just found this funny as did my fiance & I wanted to share it.

[@alaritheaurora5971]

It was during my first campaign, just playing with a group of my friends. The party was a rogue named Nam, a paladin named Kevin (during his creation we were trying to get our friend to make his character into Keanu reeves, so he compromised with Kevin) a monk named Asahi and my character, a necromancer Shartruce. Shartruce was an inherently evil character, not on purpose, but his whole belief was the everyone should be undead so there would be no more conflict. Natuaraly he didn't get along too well with Kevin, at point both of them nearly killing eachother. Eventually, there was a fight happening and he wasn't there, instead he was talking with the BBEG, The Puppet Master, or PM as we called him. I decided to give up my character for him to join the dark side and make a new character, during that fight, Asahi died. So me and my friend decided to make new characters, twin sirens, named Nya and Zephyr. We did a one shot to tell their backstory in which an ICE DRAGON was the reason we showed up on Luxenbris (for reference, the continent where the main story was taking place was called Luxenbris, and our characters were pirates). During that one-shot, Zephyr's player named the dragon Ton-petty. So anyways, we get to the continent, join the main party, and a few sessions later, we're going on a walk when we see a bear being chased my wolves. Nam being the way he is decides to go help the bear, Zephyr goes along. Nya and Kevin wait for them, but when it becomes apparent that their having troble we go to help. Nam is almost dead at this point so I become focused on healing them while the paladin fights the wolves. All the wolves are scared off, but then randomly, Zeph starts attacking Kevin, and me and Nam being too hurt to help, CAN'T DO ANYTHING. Zeph then kills everyone else, their only reasoning being "Ton-Petty told me to do it" Then tries to kill themselves but PM shows up. Turns out the whole world was fake, and PM was god, sort of running us through a simulation. Because Zephyr managed to completely defy him in a way he never managed he grants them one wish, they wish to kill themselves. PM jumps onto the train and too, ends it all. And it is the funniest ending to a campaign I have had so far. We died, not to monsters or the BBEG, but wolves and A BARD i might add, Zeph was a bard, and we had a rogue, artificer and paladin up against. And the whole reason was because of the ice dragon that was never brought up during the main campaign. Had us, and the DM blown away. That first campaign is still a running joke to this day, because the entire thing was like a fever dream.

[@theultrasceptile]

During our first major combat encounter against zombies, skeletons, and wights. One of the first skeletons we had taken care of was killed by our yuanti monk who climbed onto the tavern roof, who then proceeded to jump right onto it. The DM ruled that it took half of what damage the monk would have taken, meanwhile they were at full due to slow fall They practically John Cena’d the poor skelly

[@jmanroxjj]

During my first campaign I played with my group, we had to fight a large dragon that was using a kind of necromancy to consume souls for power. It was a homebrew campaign, and honestly was a great introduction. We had just spent the last few sessions getting the scattered parts for a special sword that had killed this dragon in the past, and all we needed was someone to put it together. Lo and behold, we came across an artificer, and an old one at that. After a conversation, we learned that he was the famed Betmag Ironmane. An adventurer in his day who slew the dragon in the past. As young level 3 adventurers, we were in awe by seeing a legend like that in the flesh. He helped us put the sword together and even offered to join us on the final battle with the dragon, which we gladly accepted. After making preparations, we finally get to the point where its time to fight. The party attacks it, it attacks the party. Finally it comes to Betmag's turn with his MoonSword. Nat 1. We have a house rule where a nat 1 on an attack means you damage yourself. So, he took the sword and on his first turn took out half his health. If only it stopped there. The turns go again, and now it is Betmag's turn again to attack the dragon. He rolls the dice again to hit. Nat 1. He attacks himself again, and he goes down. Now it is time for death saving rolls for him. His first time rolling dice he gets ANOTHER nat 1. Then with just one chance left to stay alive, his final death save he rolls a 4th straight nat 1, and passes from this world. I can safely say we laughed so hard we thought we were gonna follow him to the afterlife, while our DM just sat in silence, palming his face and shaking his head in disbelief.

[@anthonyallen5600]

One of the first campaigns I was ever in (3.5), I was playing as a half blue dragon fighter, the DM had the party heading into the underdark through some caves. DM "everyone make reflex save". Everyone but me made it and jumped out of the way of a purple worm coming up through the floor, I was swallowed whole, but I did make the save to stop myself in its esophagus. I look at the DM and say "I want to look down my body and use my breath weapon". He says roll it. Nat 20. He says "don't bother with damage, do to you being inside of it and it still being mostly in the ground, it is dead." I had to spend the next 5 rounds tooth and nail, chewing and clawing my way out. No one except the rogue and myself had weapons that could damage even the dead corpse. Funniest part was that I was the only player that had a high enough AC to survive even being eaten.

[@praxusprime5392]

A friend of mine has a warlock with seesaw luck named Ishmael. (He rolls either ridiculously high or ridiculously low. Every. Time. And ONLY with Ishmael.) The subject of patrons came up at one of his games last month during a long rest at a campfire. He calls it his "A Lot Of Warlocks", or ALOW, group, and it was his first time using Ishmael with them. Bardlock: "So who's your patron, Ish?" Ishmael: "Patricia Jhoak. Her parents were fond of puns." Warlock-Cleric ("Her" patrons are husband and wife.): "Can't say that I've heard of her. If I may ask, what is she?" Ishmael: "Celestial Pink Dragon." Half-Orc Half-Dwarf Barblock: *OOF!* "Me hear they very picky. What you offer that she accept?" Ishmael: "Nothing. She finds my very existence hilarious."

[@supriseddragon6737]

Damn, what a blow to someone’s pride, but also hilarious

[@chalkwarrior5542]

This story happened just two days ago and I still find it funny. My friend's player character, let's call him M, is married to an NPC, who we'll call S. S is played by my friend's girlfriend over the phone. Now, the party was on a boat on a 3-week journey to a place we have to go for the story. M and S were alone in their bedroom on the ship and S decided to roll for seduction by making Waluigi noises. Cue the table laughing a decent amount, and the DM goes to roll. She rolls an 18, which is already pretty funny in itself, but it gets better. Turns out the DM accidentally rolled for *intimidation* instead of seduction. It took a few minutes for everyone to settle down.

[@supriseddragon6737]

Oh gods I am dying😆

[@mahalamiller2504]

I grew up in a house full of gamers... my parents met at a D&D 1e table and hosted every weekend. When I was a kid we also had a cat that had an awful gas problem... This cat once farted and it was so painfully stinky that the people at the table picked up the solid oak dining table that weighed a couple hundred pounds and carried it right out the sliding glass back door to continue the game on the concrete slab under the awning that served as our back porch. Not an in-game story, but still unforgettable.

[@simonomalley3791]

My first session involved a group of goblins setting a building on fire. After defeating the goblins, we turned our attention to the building on fire. To try to get in, we aim to go through the window next to where we fought the goblins. As me and my friend discuss what to break the window with, our third player asks if he can THROW THE DEAD GOBLIN THROUGH THE WINDOW. The DM was worried about aiming it right but gave him a shot. Nat 20. The goblin smashes through the window and we hear the “AHHH” of the NPC it lands on. Funniest thing ever.

[@IAmMess1ah]

My favourite moment from a campaign came when we were playing Waterdeep dragon heist. Our scummy noble rogue (son of a well respected family in the city who was living out his rebellious years) had a reputation for only thinking about himself and doing less than savoury things to get his way. In an altercation with a group of enemies in their manor he proceeded to take their kids hostage, crossbow pressed to the kids head. Eventually we got the info we wanted and the child was released but not before he pulled the kids pants down as they were crying, running back to their parents just to add insult to injury. This became a running joke where he would try and “pants” as often as he could, however in our final fight with the BBEG he tried this move and rolled a Nat 1! Our DM then expertly described how his very own pants were swiftly removed and he stood there in his tightly whiteys 😂in response our rogue asked if he could try to flick his pants into the bbeg’s face, DM allows it and rogue rolls a nat 20, effectively blinding the bbeg for the round as he fought valiantly in his underwear. We had to stop playing for a solid 10 minutes because of the laughter 😂

[@NerrawGnap]

🫡

[@Skijaramaz]

I was running a Final Fantasy D&D campaign with some buddies of mine. During the course of the campaign, it was discovered that the party's elvaan ranger was an inadverdant body-snatcher, and the soul of the body's original occupant was waking up. The two souls were in conflict, as the original owner, understandably, wanted their body back. The two being in conflict was causing both souls to rip themselves apart, as a single mortal body is not capable of housing more than one soul if those souls aren't in harmony with one another. The party anguished for multiple sessions trying to find a solution, but there were seemingly none to be found. This wasn't an enemy they could just fight and kill, they had to find a different solution, and it was INCREDIBLY stressful for them. In walks the group's cybord Chocobo (think a giant ostrich or chicken that functions like a horse). Her name is Rocket, and she has the voice and general mannerisms of a child. Well, she went to speak with the mage who had originally placed the ranger's soul into the new body with an idea she had. Namely, that if the ranger's parents were to conceive another baby (tall order, she recognizes that,) then it might be possible to transplant one of the souls into the growing fetus before it had a chance to form a soul of its own, thus preventing a repeat of the very crime that landed them in this situation in the first place. It was rather genius - even I wouldn't have thought of that. So I had the mage ask Rocket how she came up with the idea, to which she simply stated that she heard the ranger's parents 'going at it' the other night, and the idea struck her. The whole time everyone else had to mute themselves (we play over Discord) because they were laughing so hard, because, again, Rocket sounds like a child. It was a truly delightful experience, and even made one of my players (the one playing the elvaan) accidentally snort beer. TL;DR: Voueyrism saved the day.

[@jeffersonian000]

The Goliath Ranger heroically leaped over the rampart of the fort we were in, to chase the retreating enemy. I said something profound before having my Tortle imitate the Goliath, but no one remembers what I said (including me) because I roll a nat 1 on my athletics check, fell off the rampart, rolled another nat 1 on the acrobatics check to definitely not stick the landing, and preceded to roll down the hill … because Tortles are oblate spheroids. We still laugh over that years later.

[@Pumpkinhead324]

My Warforged Druid was in the middle of some corn monsters and decided to use Thunderwave. 2 of them died and I was asked to describe their deaths. I decided that they both flew into a wall and exploded into popcorn (from the heat and pressure). Our Asimarr then decided to waltz into the room and got buried under the popcorn.

[@tyde5319]

We started a campaign at a teaching academy as a tutorial for some new players. We were doing basic combat sparing to teach how combat will go. I was lizard man ranger and another pc was a human tank fighter. After just being unable to get through armor and just getting hearing tink it was ineffective. I used bite which was a nat 20. I get the graphic description of me knocking his shield away and biting through every layer of armor staying clamped on shaking him. The dm thought it would be funny to have the teacher a dwarf bard suddenly have a ruler yelling "NO! We do not eat people here!!" Now the running gag is that I want to eat my teammates. Just a taste that's all I want.... Now I want more

[@BigHossPlayz]

When I was relatively new to 4E. Our DM decided to have a mini adventure to lengthen the campaign and give us a level (or 2). We ended up travelling in a desert making con saves for the heat exposure we were dealing with. OUT OF NOWHERE! An ancient black dragon lands not, 20 feet ahead of us. (Bit of context to help the imagery. The 4x4 mini for the Black Dragon has a very doofy expression on it's face.) He commands that we halt, and we do just that. As a few of us weren't rolling so great for the heat. He looks us over, obviously, by panning his head to the left and right. He announces that we must answer this "Ancient Riddle" correctly in order for us to continue. We agree thinking it wouldn't be that hard of a riddle with 4 to 5 people collectively thinking of an answer. He blurts out the single dumbest question you could imagine. "WHAT COLOR AM I?" After we finished laughing, we collect ourselves and said, "Black". To which he responds, "Correct!", flaps his wings and takes off flying in a completely different direction from where he came from when he landed. We never saw that dragon again.

[@Dr.Clarence]

As a Druid/Sorcerer with high persuasion and slight of hand I attempted to "teach" the unintelligent Barbarian the fire bolt cantrip. With high rolls not only did he believe he casted the spell himself but can actually do so at will. He has unfortunately not attempted this in battle yet

[@WarChallenger]

For that airship story, they BETTER have named that ship the "Junker" or something. What they're describing as a 'flying vehicle that screams when moving' is just too perfect to miss a chance to reference to the infamous Stuka siren.

[@christophersanders3252]

On an airship my elf warlock got bored and decided to teach the sailors proper acrobatic sailing. Without skipping a beat my teammate cast major illusion on us. The two of us now clad in academic robes and pointy hats proceeded to point to a spectral diagram of the vessel with every single component labeled with the wrong term. We gave nonsensical orders such as: Swab the mast, Unfurl the rails, Drop the rudder, Trim the anchors, Fire the sails. A fun time was had by all.

[@dragoonnerdy]

My parties paladin shield bashed his way out of the second floor of a burning barn which the rogue had lit on fire to kill a goblin. That saved the party from burning to death.

[@Quaznick_Ruttner]

We were just beggining a one shot and got in a fight with 2 Ettins. We were tasked by the mayor of the town to kill them and we said sure. No big deal. Just some Ettins and it's a party of 4 level 6's. Well, some plot hook was put in there about some shadow being that has taken control of one of the Ettins and we were getting excited and stuff as one does. Well, the dm told our party sorcerer to make DEX save or be shot by a surprise gun that just pointed out of the shadow and most everyone is like "shouldn't you roll against their ac?" Without smiling, straight faced and looking into our eyes he said "Did you expect there to be a gun?" (Us) "no" (him) "then make a DEX save" (us) "what?" (Him) "your AC is some armor with a combination of metal and dex, right? Well that is made for medieval Weaponry, not a gun. So please roll DEX" And we all just sat there wondering why the hell did it take us this long to even realize the gun shouldn't of even been in the situation and proceeded to roll DEX. The idiocy finally got to my DM and he immediately afterward broke down in belly holding laughter

[@unnameduser5647]

You're still breathing you're alright is the most dad thing to say imaginable

[@BrianVaughnVA]

My dad is a funny bastard I love'm.

[@deadeye4047]

Story Two: I was DM and this was a fair bit into a completely separate campaign. There was a Warforged Monk, an Elephantine Berserker, and a Half-Elf Rogue that was turned into a rat by a Goblin Sorceress at this point. They find an alchemist that sent them on a fetch quest for the proper ingredients. 1. Tooth of an Alpha Warewolf 2. A specific flower 3. A chunk of Gold Ore 4. The eye of one who was closest to death 5. Fear-Wierd Essence This is about 3, and 4. Party finds a cave that's slightly too big for Berserker, so Rogue and Monk investigate. They notice noise and Rogue, who is still a rat, visually confirms three individuals. Who? Don't know, only saw silhouettes. So they both attack. Rogue gets a Nat 20, so I have him burrow into one of them and exit out of it's chest like something you'd see in an Alien movie. The other two were knocked out, so then they were able to actually see who they were fighting. It was a Mother, Father, and young Son. With heaps of regret, they loot and retrieve ingredients 3 and 4. They returned later for the Fear-Wierd (my own creation) because they're drawn to fear, dispare, and hopelessness. Who better to be in that horrible circumstance than a Widower Father of a murdered Wife and Half-blind child? It was horrible for them, but that's exactly what I wanted so it was great for me. Aside from the Warewolf, everything went according to plan. Best. Session. Ever.

[@NerrawGnap]

What happened with the werewolf? Or… do I not want to know?

[@deadeye4047]

@NerrawGnap They made a deadweight trap with a large log, but the Alpha Warewolf wasn't guaranteed to show. Elephantine lured him in with howls. He rolled high enough, what can I say? The Alpha fell for the trap and they wanted me to roll for hit/damage. Nat 20. The log hit the Alpha's head with such force that it obliterated the thing's skull. They rummaged around the ground for in-game hours, but found the tooth. Alpha was meant to be this grand fight, like the Fear-Wierd, but no.

[@NerrawGnap]

@@deadeye4047 sorry, but I gotta say it: “work *smarter,* not harder!”

[@wild5277]

Was playing TOD and got to the point where they where attacking the children at the beginning. They kill the woman and begins chasing the kids. This is when my 8 int paladin resides to yell at the cobalts that our barbarian dwarf. My dm days till with dis advantage. That’s when our 17 int sources says they would like to help. Rolled a 17. My dm sighs and have the cobalts ask how they got over there and why they are holding axes covers in blood. They then proceeded to swarm him and die 😂

[@marohaidh4451]

"Your hand cannot escape from Callamus' ass."

[@stephenleever1126]

I had an experience like the airship one, our party were told to hunt a single giant that was harassing this village. Turns out it was not a single normal giant, it was 4 cloud giants, and the reason no other group could track them down was because they had a castle on a flying cloud, a la jack and the bean stalk. The only way up, after we killed the giants (we sneak attacked them after distracting them with an illusion of sheep) we managed to make their castle move and turned it into our base

[@NerrawGnap]

This is the kind of thing I (and, by extension, my characters) would *love* to do in D&D.

[@EitherProductions]

My players are currently in Lost Mines of Phandelver, and the players are still Level 1. During a fight against a bunch of Goblins in a cave, the Warlock, who was already the closest to the exit, quickly went outside for safety and climbed a tree. On their following turn, they came up with the idea to use Thaumaturgy to trick the Goblins into thinking the cave was collapsing (via "harmless earth tremors"). Well, not only did it work, tricking every single goblin in the cave (I never rolled higher than a 10), but most of the player characters were also failed their Insight checks and were convinced that the cave was going to collapse. The following turns turned into total chaos as every single creature was frantically trying to get out, except for one PC who just watched on in confusion. I laughed so hard that session, which was good, because up to that point, the number of characters in that fight was leading to the Players becoming distracted when it wasn't their turn. Once the chaos started, everyone suddenly snapped to attention. I'm going to take this as a learning lesson to figure out ways to get my players to focus without ruining the fun they're having playing DnD due to differences in playstyle (I take fun/play/story way more seriously than most, so I'm much more on task and prepared than everyone else, so it's a good thing that I'm their DM and not a fellow player).

[@nomansland5362]

I was playing a Tiefling sorcerer with max charisma, Actor feat, and Skills Expert feat with expertise in Deception. I was the character that would stir the pot up once in awhile. Our party had just finished a side quest and we’re trying to figure out what we should do next. So the group decided that we should do something about the children that were disappearing around town. There wasn’t much to go on except rumors that the town's mayor may be hiding something. I suggested that I could cast “Alter Self” to look like a 9-year-old girl. The plan was for my character to be “kidnapped” with the party following close behind. Surprisingly, no objected and we decided to do this during the festival that the mayor was giving a speech at. Fast forward to the next day and we hit our first problem when I decided to put on a 70 platinum value necklace, trying to sell the "I'm totally a helpless girl act" in a dirt-poor town. I rolled well on perception so I noticed the town guards were approaching me to probably question and arrest me. So I did the only sane way out of that situation and yelled at the mayor that I was his illegitimate child who he abandoned, in front of the whole town AND his wife. Natural 20 on Deception. Selling it even further, I said “It’s okay Dad, just take me in. Mother’s death has been really hard.” His wife backhanded him and ran home, leaving behind the mayor, town people, party members, DM, and honestly myself, flabbergasted. This lead to a whole arc of playing “House” with the mayors family until I inherited the role of cult leader who turned them against the BBEG instead of children.

[@nekokoishi]

My first time playing DnD was chaotic and we didn't even know what we were doing. But the most memorable moment we had was when the bard rolled a nat 20 for charming an alien. He got dragged into a private room and the rest was history.

[@billbishop6109]

This was hilarious for me the DM, maybe not so much for my players, at least one of them. The party had arrived at the capital with a bag of letters they found on a dead courier destined for various people in the city. One was for an associate to the king, a couple were to random nobles, and one was to the sorc/rogue's grandfather, who the orphan character had no idea about. The man did tip the party but was a little rude and dismissive. After dropping off the rest of the letters the party went to the library to do some research for their next quest, the sorc/rogue decided to do some crime (the first time he did this even after being in several cities). Of course he goes and robs his grandfather's place. It went so well the guy has no idea the PCs were involved in the robbery. I even had the player role an insight check on a painting he saw of his mother and her new husband, rolled like a 5. The party eventually saw the same painting in a meeting room in the castle, where they find out it is of the king's son and his new wife, I had the whole party roll insight to see if they could make the connection that the sorc/rogue had similar facial features to the woman. No one rolled over an 8. It was several months later when the party found the character's father that I revealed his parentage.

[@HallOfGamers.]

Our monk decided his religion would be Kermit the frog. He got his inspection from the puppet sitting on shelf near the table. All of us (including the DM) praised the frog as a sign of respect. Eventually we came across a church and our monk asked our cleric to see if it was a Kermit church. Sadly it wasn’t. Though in this mists of defeat in a boss battle. He rolled a nat 20. Summoning the entire power of the frog himself.

[@Kill_Millz]

Let's go was just binging your vids and this just came out so you know I gotta watch

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Daaaaaamn, enjoy the binge!

[@Kill_Millz]

@@BrianVaughnVA Thanks Brian!

[@BrianVaughnVA]

@@Kill_Millz No problem and yep, we started off with two narrators and now we've only got one - that'd be me!

[@justinc882]

As a DM, my players and I agreed to have some fun, so if they roll a nat 20, we do a critical role type "how do you want to do this?" If they roll a nat 1, usually some kind of foolery happens via the fumble deck. The most common thing is "you throw your weapon". Now it's useful to know if you throw your weapon you rolla D8 to see what direction, a d6 to see how far you throw it and it's an auto hit on creature it comes in contact with. Party (Inquisitor, Fighter, Cleric, Monk and a NPC Bard they all adore) enters a giant temple with a floor and then stairs going down about 50 floors. There's 3 monsters on the platform. Inquisitor runs in to attack, rolls a nat 1, ends up throwing his glaive off the ledge. Fighter "I got ya buddy" runs in, rolls a nat 1, throws his weapon, rolls his D8 and immediately realizes the bard that has become his fighters best friend is in the line. Bard had already been injured in a previous fight. Bard takes a great sword to the chest, falls off the platform and dies. 2 rolls into the combat, the two main melee dps have their weapons 50 floors below. The monk is fighting, the cleric is freaking out trying to heal people, the barbarian blink dog is trying to protect everyone we're all laughing so hard no one actually cares. I ruled that the weapons ended up hitting something flying below and bounced onto a landing so they could get them without a full decent.

[@munsterlandr1644]

There's one session that I had that was full of these, but there's two connected ones that were great. We got dropped by a shack in the middle of the desert, which an old tabaxi and 2 of his children lived in. After finding the kids, the old tabaxi said something like "I think we should move somewhere else" and the shack got up with us still in it, running on a pair of chicken legs, unable to be stopped until it finds a new spot. We then got chased by a wyrm, with the shack running through a sidewinding mountain. Right before getting past the mountain (by which point it was nearly broken), the little tabaxi cubs pulled out a cannon from inside it, shooting the wyrm right before it got us for good.

[@Amy_Dunn]

The first (as so far only) D&D campaign I played was about 5 sessions of Strahd with the rowdiest, funniest, most chaotic group (5 was all the DM could take of us before he politely told us he couldn't DM us anymore 😆) anyway, I was playing a spoiled rich kid Tiefling Warlock (whose father was her patron) doing the pact of the chain, with my familiar being a hell hound Dachshund named Puppy (using the hellhound puppy homebrew stats). There were quite a few memorable moments (one of which happened when I accidentally missed a session, where someone cast a nat20 attack on a low level NPC kidnapping a kid, causing the NPC to explode) but one moment in particular I remember happening with me was when we were trying to set free some prisoners from a cage guarded by a bunch on Gnolls, and our bard was trying to inspire the prisoners to revolt, but was rolling terribly, so I asked to perform a help action. Apparently I am the type of person who only gets nat20s at the strangest moments because I cast amplify on the bard's lute, and I made the joke that it temporarily turned it into an electric guitar with an amp... and the DM allowed it. 😆 I also hit a nat20 on a history check about the local fish god, and was able to make up the true origin of said god, so I said he was a real god, but liked to dress as a fish as a fetish, so the locals think he's a fish god. 😆

[@sonario0074]

This one is actually from my first ever DnD session. It was also a first for half of the participants, so we did end up having some pretty stupid moments. Our group had two paladins, one of which was constantly trying to do one thing: Carve a statue of himself. While we were still in our first village, he did manage to get a large enough piece of wood and, together with me, placed it at the center of the village. However, we left the village before he could start working on the actual statue, so he decided to abandon the wood. 5 in-game days later (we had moved on to a town after we left the village) he decided to go and buy a large piece of wood from the town market. I then helped him with the placement once again and, together with our second paladin, we started work on the statue. This new one was supposed to show him and me standing back to back and holding up our weapons. We did ask our second paladin if we should include him in the statue but he declined and was kinda just happy to help us. The statue could have ended up looking much better, especially because i accidentally rolled a 1 when carving the feet. Then, just when we were almost done, i rolled again. However, just as i did that, the DM said that the statue had been finished. Kind of a bummer because i rolled a nat 20. So, because he noticed my disappointment over the wasted 20, the DM asked me, what i wanted to do with it. Without even thinking about the words that would leave my mouth, i said: "I wanna make those butts as realistic as they can possibly get." Well, we did eventually leave that town but it does now have a statue with the most realistic carved butts in the entire world.

[@Minesniper07]

We were near the City of Brass trying to save a few NPCs being escorted by a bunch of fire elementals, salamanders, and efreet. This was a rough fight, there were a lot of enemies, they were fairly durable, and every melee hit whittled away our own health thanks to getting burned on contact. At one point, though, our ranger saw an opportunity to turn the tide of battle. Two elementals, all three salamanders, and an efreet were all lined up diagonally, so he pulled out a Wand of Lightning Bolts and hit every one of them. All six of those enemies failed their dex save and took full damage. There was only one problem. At the very end of the Lightning Bolt spell's line, given the angle it was fired at to hit all these creatures, was a small shack we had explored earlier and forgotten about. Within the shack was a large number of crates used to store gunpowder for making fireworks. Between the lightning bolt and the force of the explosion, two of the guards were completely obliterated and a third was on the verge of death. All three of the prisoners, however, were immediately incinerated and their corpses were flung across the battlefield. The volume of the explosion deafened two of our party members, as well. We ended up having to run around the map, dodging attacks the whole time, to pick up the charred remains of our targets and Plane Shift away to resurrect them safely.

[@billcox8870]

What a delightful collection of stories. ☺️👍 I am so glad I subscribed to this channel.

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Happy to narrate for you!!

[@bodesmcbodeson686]

1:20 that joke was brutal

[@cerveau24]

12:50 I really, REALLY thought it would have been chuck full of slaves. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to scar myself mentally...

[@billyrob612]

"You see a guy just pulping this bear, like blood and gore are flowing into the river. Billy Rob, describe your character please."

[@kingofredleopards]

In the second session I ran for a group of mostly new players, they were hosting an opening night event for the tavern/inn they liberated from an evil guild in the first session. They invited everyone in town and even put in a special order for donuts at the bakery. The goal was to try and find someone to run the place while they were off adventuring, and once they met John, a manager at the general store, they sunk their hooks in quick. The part that sticks with me is when the wizard tried to schmooze by giving him more donuts. Completely unremarkable on paper, but the way he said "Have another donut John" and the look he gave was way too funny. He wasn't offering John more donuts, he was telling him to take them and he was going to like them. It's been almost three years now and it still pops into my head every once in a while.

[@VampirePrincess214]

Got 2 stories from the same adventure, first time I DMd The party was at some ruins, surrounded by orcs and goblins. Everybody ran and hid. One player decided to use bombs. We both had no idea what the range or damage was, so I look it up. I pause, a bit stunned, and told everyone to roll for damage, her move being a sneak atrack...she almost downed the entire party! Later aftee the ruins were cleared, one player who played as a bloodhunter, found a solid gold bell as part of the treasure. It was mainly there for them to sell to get better weapons. This goof was strong enough to carry it and proceeded to tie a steong rope to it! He used it as a weapon for a while!

[@BjornforBattle]

I'm imagining the last dm like "if you mention the damn dragon one more time I'm killing your whole party"

[@NexeL_NKC]

I was once talking to a Banshee in my campaign. The name was Agatha. I had to get some info on where to find this certain spell book, and I almost asked the question in these words, “Do you know where to find-“. The companions that went with me into Agatha’s hutch, out of character, literally shouted at me “NOOO” and corrected me on my wording. I knew what I wanted to say, my brain just mixed up the words. I’m also not that adept at improv. I felt so stupid I actually got up out of my chair and pretended to leave for a sec. Looking back it was pretty funny I think.

[@Bentron88]

just a head’s up, there’s a TLDR at the end of this. I don’t remember what campaign this one shot was from, but the party was hunting down some criminals in a rundown mansion. We created our characters in secret to see if “The Random Randos” could work together. The Randos turned out to be a fire happy wizard, two artificers, a weed smoking Cleric who worshiped a trickster god (She said his name only once so I don’t remember which one it was), and a bard. We managed to kill several of them while maintaining our stealth, and the wizard, the only one proficient in stealth and perception, was in the lead and 15 ahead of us. He peeked around the corner and saw a few drunk criminals with several casks of ale at their feet. We had gone rather far into the mansion’s basement and he was certain that these were the last of them. We were also all getting low on spell slots, so he figured to take out the last of these guys all at once… by using burning hands to light all of the casks of ale on fire!! Needless to say we had the effect of a fireball that took out the bandits AND the wizard, leaving only his head intact. Our Cleric attempted a divine intervention to bring the wizard back to life and managed to succeed… but thanks to her wording and trickster god only revived the wizard’s head. In a party full of spell casters, no one could really spare a hand to carry around the head of Mimir. So the two artificers tried to combine their clockwork trinkets to make a body for the wizard. In the end we managed make a magically powered clockwork crab body that the wizard head was attached to so he could move himself around, and still have “hands” for the somatic component of his spells. TLDR: wizard nukes himself and gets brought back as the erector set doll from Toy Story.

[@Cat-nb9yq]

not me but a podcast i listen to that i could probably never ever top: a bag of magic beans gets thrown and the athletics roll to catch is whiffed. cue a geiser of apple juice, a nest of three bird eggs, some other stuff that doesn't matter and a 60 x 60 pyramid spontaneously appearing, i have never laughed so hard listening to a podcast

[@C-aFilms]

it was my first session: i joined late, i think the king was supposed to give a quest, but someone set fire to the royal village and on my first session he killed the king, so obviously my character grabbed a bunch of buckets, filled them with fire, and threw them at him, killing the player that killed the king

[@philipcampbell5646]

My Example comes at the end of the Freeport trilogy. The last dungeon is a tower you're supposed to fight up in one go. Our party got lots of Spider Climb effects and went up the side! To his credit the DM rolled with this - but forgot one detail. We burst in on the final encounter "As I told you before you are all too late!" Me: "When did you tell us that?" DM: "... In the previous encounter ...Which you avoided. Darn".

[@JeremyZadina-d4z]

I did a beauty and the beast campaign, and when my party got to the castle they found tracks of the beast. When one of them tried to identify the tracks they thought it was a dog. And the others played along with him the whole time, and they spent the campaign running around trying to “pet the dog”

[@BloodyMayham]

We were escaping a slowly flooding ginormous tree and my cleric was falling behind (was only one in full plate) so as we are running I use my joke item, the shovel of jumping, to basically jump sideways, flying past all the other players.

[@domczixyt707]

Happened a few weeks ago in a campaign im playing online. We were traveling and came across some girl (who turned out to be a druid) with two wolves who were fighting a bear. We spent a while thinking if i (Bard) should cast *Detect Magic* on the bear to check if its a polymorphed human or something. And in the middle of that, as a joke i said that if it wasnt a magic bear the only thing we would know is that "This bear is made of bear". That quote ended up in a special discord channel we were playing in. I couldnt be more proud and it was funny.

[@TheThrillDaedra96]

5:58 since it was on both hands it would technically be 132, but I like the laughter at just shouting 4 lol

[@MothWaistCoat]

One of my favorite moments is when my character (bard) was trying to convince one of our rouges that interrupting the cleric who was interrogating the guy who kidnapped rouge, was a bad idea. She wasn't listening to the Bard, so I had him cast suggestion to 'suggest her to be smarter and realise she's being stupid' Rouge had a -2 intelligence and -1 Wisdom (I have no clue how), so she ended up just thinking she was smart. And started spewing fake facts about astrology, but instead of stars it was numbers

[@Jessie_Helms]

How about the time a PC single-handedly took my multi-wave fight for dear life (rated as a beyond deadly encounter) and made it a casual fight. So about 5 sessions prior the wizard had acquired a coat of many patches, which included some spell scrolls. He’d told me what he’d gotten by rolling on a table, but I’d long since forgotten. Well, cue the session in question. The party were trying to save the town from a horde of Gnolls- a Fang had united the dispersed packs, deciding that if they united they could take out the town and finally have some food. The party spent quite a while strategizing- asking how many could fight, how many could help build defenses, set up 3 points of defense, fall-back points, they made this military history nerd of a DM proud. Then come the Gnolls. If I recall I had about 60 in total against this level 5 party- including 3 Packlords and some other varieties of Gnolls. They had the town speaker who was a level 6 fighter and like 20 militia with them. Just as 2 Packlords, the Fang, and about a dozen normal Gnolls were in _just_ the right formation the wizard pulls out his scroll and… _”I cast fireball centered on the Fang”_ “You… what?” Then ever. Single. Gnoll. Failed their saving throws, so did both of the Packlords, leaving a single severely singed Fang. At that point the remaining Gnolls on the flanks routed and the battle was basically won. He was later called “Vanil the immolator” because of that stunt.

[@AkariEnderwolf]

I was dm-ing a campaign, the party just found an ancient Airship in an underground high technomagical hanger. one of my players, playing a construct character from the time period but with no experience with such airships, rolls a nat 20 on a check to see how well they can pilot it. I was laughing and decided that they now had proficiency in Airship Piloting.

[@ddittami]

My first session ever I was thrown into an ongoing campaign. My monk wanted to sneak after the rouge as they when out on a surveillance mission. I stepped on a twig and immediately grabbed a couple branches and stood T-pose with them saying I was a tree. I was able to roll well enough to trick the guards but the rouge saw me and told me I was an idiot. She was right, but from then on our I was a sneaky tree for all our stealth encounters. I gotta say it was fun

[@munsterlandr1644]

Wait shit how could I forget a fucking amazing moment from a different session: We took a quest to deal with a wasp infestation in a vaguely steampunk setting, and already struggled to do anything because we thought we couldn't just attack the bees. After just barely dealing with a swarm of normal sized ones, a big one came out from the basement of the shed. The farmer who put up the quest (or in out of game terms, the DM) saw we were struggling, and so he pulled out a fucking blunderbuss to help us deal with the giant hornet.

[@AdamBomb610]

My first campaign and first combat. My party had raided a cave of goblins. We initially let our rogue take care of most of the goblins quietly. However, Mike Tyson (my dwarf berserker), wanted in on the fun. A goblin was sleeping peacefully and I asked if I could swing my maul like a golf club and attempt to decapitate him. I rolled a nat 20 and not only did I launch this goblins head at Mach speed, it hit another goblin and his head EXPLODED on impact. Yeah, my DM is pretty cool.

[@Shukuyou]

This was the first thing I did in my first campaign. I wasn't supposed to be in the campaign, but was given an NPC to play as (a berserk dwarf). I was sleeping in a tavern and was woken by another PC (an elf noble) who threw his bags on me in order to wake me up. As a reaction to such a rude awakening, I attempted to do a diving crossbody on him but missed. Instead, I hooked one of my middle fingers into his right eye socket, ripped his eye out, and blinded him for the rest of the campaign.

[@151speedy]

I had given my party a magic item to summon ducks. With it the aarakocra monk uses it paired with a Nat 20 performance roll, managed to convince a bunch of people he was some form of higher being and started a cult.

[@PrepWork]

I have two stories from the same Basic Fantasy campaign that I played as a barbarian fighter. They are also nat 1 stories We were hired to help defending a walled village against an attack by an undead horde. My character arrived late at the town (I began at the second session) and was locked outside the gates with a bunch of npc soldiers trying to defend against the undead. While I fought, another pc, the archer fighter, decided to lay down some fire support against the undead I was fighting. He managed to shoot 5 times before I had to retreat. One arrow killed a zombie, one missed, and three nat-1s hit me in the back. I only survived because that bastard rolled low damage every single time and I had DR/1 from the barbarian subclass. I refused to return his arrows afterwards, they were mine now, and I bought another shield to hang on my back from then on just in case the archer decided to lay down fire support again. The second was one session later, when the group rogue, the other melee fighter and myself managed to track down one of the necromancers commanding the undead horde to an abandoned monastery. The rogue and I went to the basement while the fighter stayed behind on guard duty. Down there we found five zombies and the necromancer, who was chanting something. Before we could reach him, he cast Darkness in the entire basement. The rogue decided to make an improvised molotov cocktail with a jar of oil and some rags he had on him to toss at the zombies. The GM asked how he was going to light the rag with flint and tinder in the middle of the darkness, and the rogue declared he would hold the jar between his thighs and use his hands to strike the flint and tinder. He had to roll perception to light it right, and rolled a nat-1, exploding the molotov on his groin, then panic running back upstairs. The GM then described to the fighter upstairs how he saw the rogue arrive with a huge burnt hole in his pants, where a pair of roasted nuts hanging precariously could be seen.

[@OneVoiceOneTruth]

Was playing in Ravnica as part of the Dimir and one of our final tasks was to destroy the guild hall of the Izzet league. I was playing a changling Rogue(in the style of a victorian gentleman thief), and during infiltration chatted with an npc(jeff) who I was supposed to kill and steal his identity, but I was endeared by the blue collar guy and just lifted his ID card and used my change form ability to imitate him. Jeff was a technician in the Laser Lab, and so I went there after the party split( Human monk and a Dragonborn sorcerer) to try and find a way to destroy the guild hall. I am not proficient in Laser technology so it takes me a while to get it going and unfortunately it is much stronger than expected and I can't control it. it drifts from its target and starts boring a hole in the wall.to the lab next door. which happens to be studying anti-gravity. Whoops. Laser strikes what is essentially a black hole in containment and this thing begins to grow! everybody runs, panic everywhere, I use my portable grappling hook(a pen with a grappling hook inserted that I shoot) to 007 myself away from.the building find my teammates, and we book it(I was on 3 health after concussion damage from an explosion). the DM rolled a D100 afterwards to see how extensive the damage was annnnnd 97. 97 percent casualties. for those who don't know, this equates to roughly 10.percent of Ravnica's population if I was informed correctly. So technically, mission accomplished? oh, and sadly Jeff did not survive. RIP, Jeff you hard working cog!

[@Cassette-Cryptid]

The airship at 10:20 Sounds just like the U.S.S. DEFIANT NCC-1765 from TOS but more accurately mirror dimension Enterprise era...

[@TheLastRhapsody]

In a campaign that ran for something like 4-5 years, my rogue, ever the con man and asshole with a heart of gold, threatened gods. Not in hyperbole, but literally. He stood before the Fairy Court of Stars, and threatened to pour lich blood into the wellspring from which all elves drew their longevity. All to ensure that the party’s cinnamon roll dm npc was returned to our care safely and without any other conditions. This was unexpected because he first collected that lich blood irl years ago and we forgot he had it.

[@caseywillett5539]

Some context: This was a homebrew adventure set in Orcus' realm of undeath in Hell for about 8 level 8 characters. They were trying to locate the lost soul of a powerful wizard who had information on a world-breaking event. I was DMing a 4e game for my friends. They had just had a very tough encounter that knocked out their cleric. The paladin, Scorchrahn, didn't want to use any of his heals just yet, so, despite the warnings of the party and a subtle, "Are you sure?" from me, they moved on to the next room. They came across a vampire, one of Orcus' lieutenants. Scorchrahn asked if he could try to negotiate with the vampire. I figured, why not? *nat20* Me: "Alright Scorchrahn. You have his attention. What do you say?" S: "Mr. Vampire, sir. Would you allow are humble group of adventurers to pass so we can locate our friend?" Me: "No. It's my job to prevent ANY trespassers from continuing. If you turn back now, I'll spare your lives." S: "Will you let us pass if we trade with you?" Me: "What do you even have to offer?!" S: "Him!" *points to unconscious cleric being carried by the rogue and the barbarian* Everyone lost their minds.

[@reitifoh]

Got multiple, but my favourite one has to be my Hill dwarf character, i rolled him up randomly on EVERYTHING and from what i can remember he rolled as a fighter with low str, low dex, but outstanding Cha, so i figured ok not great but we're here to have fun. So for background story i decided to make him the disgraced heir to a silver mine, lead a few warriors and never ended well, when my players first met him, he was the ambassador between a large town and his former clan (having been banished until he could prove to be an honerable leader). So the only thing he was able to bring with him was his silver tinted armour (basic equiptment, just with a little silver decorations). First few missions went without much incident, except the fact that he could not sneak at night due to every bit of light being reflected from his silver tinted armour XD. Anyway fast forward to level 5, cant remember the class he chose but it involved commands strengthened by Cha, anyway he chose one specific command that allowed him to increase his AC by 1 D20 i believe so long as he was moving. Cue funny shinagins, my party was in a town and at one point we were attacked by vampire spawn, one of our group happened to have stakes but we were still struggling with the fight, thats when my character asked our vampire hunter if they were weak to anything else.... to which he responded "silver weapons"........ i think you guys can see where im going with this...... i stood in the centre of the areana and taunted ALL the vampires to me before shouting to our mage to fire thier strongest light producing spell directly at me, i then used my command on myself and said, in order to keep this command going im going to dance in the middle of the arena....... yes i was a small light reflecting dwarf dancing in front of enemys with an AC of 30....... the light spell hit me spraying light in EVERY direction blinding many and instantly killing 2 vampires, with the rest fleeing in terror...... from that moment on EVERYONE in the group knew me as "disco dwarf" the dancing tank 😂 unfortunately Covid hit shortly after and that was his final appearance. But everyone had a laugh especially since my former character was simply known as "hat wizard" (thats another story) Long story short, no one ever remembered my characters names, only ever refering to that with the appropriate nickname XD

[@xpinkprincess]

Had my first ever dnd session yesterday and we got shipwrecked, got on land and found a tavern/inn, after going to the room assigned to us i found some chests and well searched them for anything, found a spider and now he is the star of the group- his name is spooder and as it seems he can dance like nobody else and long story short we had a dance party where at first only me and a friend tried to learn his dance, while he screams for ruling the world. We rolled on how good we dance and well i did mediocre my friend too and our warlock who was totally uninterested in spooder till that point then he decided to participate and rolled so high he ended up showing moves the world has never seen before- it may be silly and not important but i love this moment anyways😂

[@the1stwing]

The bit of Brian saying what the lich in the ship would be saying had me dying

[@Darthskippygp]

I got one, tldr at bottom. I was playing a campaign and we ended up joining in a arena tournament that used magic so that any damage would be reversed after each match. We made it to the finals where it was a 1v1 fight between our leader and an enemy leader. The final fight lasted about 3 rounds where our leader won and it was quite lack luster. Our barbarian thought it was too boring of a final fight and threw a tomato at our leader that did 3 dmg. The leader then fell over because the tomato brought him into the negatives. Turns out there was other magic cast on the fight canceling the first magic and hiding the real fight where our leader got the ever loving stuffing beat out of him and was barely standing. TLDR; One of our party almost killed another with fruit.

[@JDTN1985]

During the playtest for Pathfinder's organized campaign play, my cousin and I both played barbarians. For those that never played it, when making a character you had to pick a political faction that worked inside of the Pathfinder Society to be a part of. Part of each module involved a "sidequest" that you had to do for your faction, ideally without letting players outside of your faction knowing about it, so the DM would give each player a handout at the start of the module which was a letter from your faction's leader detailing your secret mission. Problem was, during the playtest, barbarians were not automatically literate in their known languages. Since my cousin and I were the only members of our faction at our game table, we couldn't read our letter. Our dm didn't realize this until he handed us the letter and we both sat there holding it and acted in character staring at it, scratching our heads, mispronouncing simple words, turning it upside down, etc. This went on for a couple minutes, confusing the dm and everyone else at the table, until finally the dm caught on and bust out laughing while telling us that instead of just handing us the letter, the messenger that delivered it also read it to us. This went on for a few more modules until I leveled up and decided to burn a skill point on learning to read. Once the playtest ended, one of the changes made to barbarians was to give them literacy automatically like all the other classes. I know our dm was really good about giving feedback to Paizo during the playtest, so I like to think my cousin and I helped make that change.

[@parkerchernoff3262]

the very first time I dm'd, for my brother and mother, my mother had her character try to impress my brother's character by using a spell that let her control water(i don't remember the name of it, but it wasn't Control Water- their characters were both level 1) to shape water from a glass into a cat and have it walk over to him and meow. well, she just barely failed her roll to do that, so I had the water cat be extremely wobbly- and as it got over to my brother's character, let out a very shakey "meowowowow" before collapsing into a puddle. it was very small but we all thought it was fucking hilarious

[@zachrousseau1097]

We were plying a test session and my character was a Giff “wizard” (he was actually a fighter who hid firearms up his sleeves and had proficiency in performance and slight of hand, who acted like he was a wizard. Think Will Arnett’s character in Arrested Development, a fake magician who specializes in “ILLUSIONS”). Towards the end we were emerging from a cave via a hole in the ground and heard a bunch of guards surrounding the hole. My character proceeds to take a bunch of meat that another character was holding, make a puppet, put it in a costume and then attempt to fool the guards into thinking it was a real person. I rolled a Nat 20 on the performance check and tricked one of the guards into taking the puppets hand . I then pulled guard into the hole and held him hostage so the guards would let us walk free