What Is Enmeshment?

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Enmeshed relationships can be difficult to navigate. In this video, I go over what is enmeshment along with 4 scenarios that may or may not be enmeshed.
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This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via KZbin, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
:00 Enmeshment vs dependence
:48 What is enmeshment?
3:29 Scenario #1
5:16 Scenario #2
9:18 Scenario #3
14:11 Scenario #4

[@D.A.Toaster]

Yes please. Would definitely appreciate more clarity on individuation and enmeshment.

[@wannabetrucker7475]

yes, me too.

[@haliec496]

I know I have had an enmeshed family, I've always felt I deserved more independence and it was always difficult to free myself. It caused me great distress over the years because there was a lot of emotional blackmail if I didn't comply. It has been exhausting pulling against it for so long. After listening to the Serena example this also rang a bell regarding relationship. For me though, I always stayed to figure it out, I guess because in my family dynamic, i fixed things so it flowed over to my romantic relationship. I took on that responsibility to fix it & keep it working regardless of the other persons lies. This has been quite an eye opening video for me. Thanks 😊

[@candma4240]

This was a very helpful video. Yes, please do a video on individuation! I grew up in an enmeshed family and am struggling to individuate. I've ended up going no-contact as there has been a lot of manipulation, gaslighting and shaming. Can you speak to those topics as well?

[@nilaja-itsmylife]

My goal with my son is his independence, individuation, and his ability to pursue his dreams ✨

[@lindydance1]

Yes that would be good to know more about

[@jessimar74]

yes, please go into more detail about individuation

[@ashanein]

Yes please to the individuation content 💜

[@antonywilder2104]

You are so generous. Thank you.

[@teliagodfrey4418]

I really appreciate the examples and explanations! : )

[@phxbodyboarder]

Great video, love how clear the examples were.

[@ryarya3291]

Yes please for a video on individuation!!!

[@TorpZeus]

Thank you for that very clear explanation. I find your video clips very useful indeed.

[@kerryrobertson5672]

Yes, more on individuation. Thank you.

[@YanaHarvey-ph3wh]

Thank you so much Barbara for your amazing work!! Wishing you and your family a Happy Easter 🐣❤️ from UK

[@Star-dj1kw]

✅ very good

[@MichaelJohnson-yu3vo]

I would like to hear more about individuation/self differentiation please.

[@carleegraham9148]

what is the difference between enmeshment and emotional intimacy? what is emotional intimacy?

More info on indivduation please

[@MandyWoodArtist]

Barbara this was great - thank you. I am just wondering if there are good, normal enmeshment situations, like the wife in hospital and the doting husband verses bad self serving enmeshment, where the boyfriend is trying to control the situation to his own benefit? They are both enmeshment stories, but one man is serving his wife out of love, while the last is serving himself only, forfilling his own needs at the cost of his partner. Is the self serving partner being naccassistic? Just a wondering. Thank you, Mandy

[@nilaja-itsmylife]

I love Carl Jung 🥰

[@sterlgirlceline]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@roses123ize]

Great vidoe, such clarity but a further learning curve, however i wonder whether some of these situations are so clear cut. Had abusive & self serving partner for nine years by these examples i was certainly emeshed & abused & she was individuated ? I doubt this was actually so. She was not commited & very depedent on her own family, even so i learnt some hard lessons *

[@raniadizikiriki8935]

What about co-dependent?

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Co-dependency is definitely a type of enmeshment. I do have a few videos on co-dependency. Here is one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d3yappWHpp2Yhpo

[@amilhussain7510]

Ending relationship is not the solution, it's important to learn other persons personality type and work around your personality to remain engaged with each other. Ending relationship could only be solution when it's hurting to an unbearable extent.

[@deelitebaby]

I agree. It seems as if there is a lot of advice *out there* to simply walk away if you are not absolutely overjoyed and comfortable with another person, particularly family members. But often, there is so much to learn and grow into when you truly work on a relationship ship, especially a difficult one where love is there and intentions are good, if misguided. When we don’t work on these relationships, when we can’t tolerate any discomfort, we remain underdeveloped, immature. (But, as you said, this of course doesn’t apply to outright abusive relationships.)

[@onewomancircus]

I would say, it's more about defining personal boundaries and setting them respectfully, rather than working around the other person's personality. Working around someone else is still codependent because we're not acting authentically or autonomously.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Yes, this is an inside job!