What is Schizoid Personality Disorder?

This video describes Schizoid Personality Disorder. Schizoid Personality Disorder is characterized by detachment, being a “loner,” no interest in forming relationships, a deficit in social skills, taking jobs that isolate them from others, no close friends, decreased interest in pleasurable activities, indifference to praise or criticism, cold or flat affect. Clinically significant distress is not required for a diagnosis of Schizoid Personality as stated in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). Individuals with Schizoid Personality Disorder rarely seek treatment, however, the prevalence is about 3 - 4%. One of the common goals in mental health treatment of Schizoid Personality Disorder usually involves improving social skills.

[@yawniechan]

I feel like I should mention Salman Akhtar's work on Schizoid as it explores a different facet of Schizoid that not enough people talk about. According to Akhtar's theory, everything that you've mentioned in your videos are what he'd call overt Schizoid features, which more often than not is the only side of the Schizoid that mental health expert get to observe. Here's the interesting part, every overt Schizoid feature is directly contradicted by a covert feature. We express ourselves in a way that leaves no room for vulnerability, which includes showing interests in things, reacting to compliment/criticism, acting disinterested in sex, etc... The theory being that the Schizoid individual is so hyper sensitive to criticism, praise, humiliation, or whatever may be, that they learn to become unresponsive and acting disinterested as a way to protect themselves, while still experiencing a rich and diverse set of emotions within their inner selves. It's existing as a complete contradiction of oneself. One can become so good at it that it becomes a unconscious process, it is possible to essentially become the façade that we've created to defend ourselves from social harm and sincerely believe that our "lifestyle" is not a problem. Taking this into consideration, a Schizoid individual can actually experience great distress due to their condition but will not express anything that could indicate that, except maybe to a person that is very close and trusted by them. Maybe the Schizoid that you've presented in your video and the one I've tried to portray in this comment could more accurately be divided into two different disorders, but it is certain that a significant amount of people diagnosed with or suspects to be Schizoid can relate to what I've tried to express.

[@vendictum]

This is the exoskeleton of an INTJ

[@Mirashi]

Thank you so much for this comment; it is so freaking spot on for me, and probably so many others with this disorder.

[@snakeinthereeds]

I think this is the first time I've seen someone bring up the covert aspects of a personality disorder online. No one ever talks about that part, which is odd, considering that's the part that actually speaks of what's under the hood. I never even heard of that concept before I read about it in Psychoanalytic diagnosis: Understanding personality structure in the clinical process, 2nd ed. by Nancy McWilliams, which is a book I recommend to everyone with an interest in psychology, because it discusses both the covert and overt aspects of all the major personality structures and honestly made me a better and more understanding person as well as making me cry like a little bitch because I'd never felt more understood and validated in my entire life than when I was getting through that one chapter. It felt like a lifetime's worth of gaslight lifted off my shoulders, but it wasn't borne of maliciousness either, it's just that we know so perilously little about ourselves that we're constantly hurting ourselves and each other without even realizing it.

[@chunkyMunky329]

@@snakeinthereeds Thanks for your comment. I will buy that book and have a look for myself.

[@CBsays_]

I think I put up my shields so early in life that I have actually become the facade. I don't notice any deep seated emotions. All I experience is a bit of anger now and then, and mostly emptiness, and the emptiness is mostly not depressing.

[@Daiska_Plays]

I have been a loner all my life, even as a kid. I've worked in jobs like truck driving, where I was alone all the time. I never had any family bonds, and always had to back out of other relationships using any excuse because I just kept knowing I'd be happier alone. I kept trying, because I wanted to be like other people who seemed so happy. I finally married, hung in there for 5 years, but then left, filled with guilt because nothing was wrong.. Again, I just wanted to be alone. That was 10 years ago, and I've been in no relationships since, and don't plan to. I was diagnosed with this personality disorder, and after the initial horror (Seriously, I think "Schizoid" has to be the most mislabled, misunderstood psychology term there is for the general public!) after reading up on it, a lot made sense. I could function fine most of my life, but now I'm turning 50, and have gotten to the point of being a hermit, unable to face the outside world, like just exhausted from trying so hard to seem normal. There's this detatchment, like it's all fake, all the people, the things, unreality. It makes even a shopping trip pretty tough! I'm confident I seem normal to others when I have to interact, but it's really uncomfortable. I just wanted to post here, to share my experience with it. I guess I kind of rambled on... I'm wayyyy more talkative online than face to face with people! The internet in general has been my only social outlet I'm comfortable with. Writing is easier than actually talking.

[@LebronJames-mp5cr]

Tanya S i

[@Psychedilicious]

I see your point. I’m in the same corner. But, as soon as i realized that the being itself, the universe and us of part of it doesn’t matter at all, i got very comfortable with who i am. With how my mind works. I don’t pretend or try to interact SOCIALLY. I just interact. No need to try to be like anyone else but you. We’re all dying. In it is beauty. In it is life. Don’t feel uncomfortable for who you are. No one cares - at least not in the end.

[@Wimmig43at339]

Tanya S similar... I’m 30, work at home now and leave my house once every week or two, just to get groceries. I really never join in on holiday and family occasions because I just don’t want to deal with all the damn people and talk. I’ll join in on important stuff like my nephew and niece’s birthdays, then weddings and funerals of course and sometimes Christmas. I’d just love to live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a hunting rifle, plenty of ammunition, necessities and backup supplies (and maybe a good stash of Percocet and some whiskey is in order for the more boring days👍🏻, maybe just have a poppy field and eat raw opium) and just live the rest of my life alone, I would be so happy if I didn’t have to deal with anyone. It’s starting to get to the point where I despise people, but not in a malicious way.

[@jackshepard497]

Honestly I feel this way. but I'm not going to identify myself as such. Just because I am no master I know nothing yet I am a servant and I know something. I'm 20 and a majority of my life I was always trying to please people and be the center of attention little kid. My father beat me down for that then left when I was 15. Soon after I began to experience my own mind and perspective. I became a loner and didn't really care to be interactive. I began to observe and pay close attention to my mind, I guess you could say desolving of the old ego. I began to experiment with psychedelics by myself with these past few years and it has been a rough road but finally started to become really smooth. Life is beautiful to me. Yet sometimes scary. I love being alone and I enjoy my own company. Being Mr. Bean is great. You experience your own experience and you make it the way you want it. Shifting threw different realities and flowing threw all of the different energies, some good some bad. But all temporary. I don't really like how they call it a disorder. But I guess thats my own personal problem lol. These so called disorders, I feel the best way to deal with them is to just learn how to coop with them then find that sweet spot. Normal is alienation. and alienation is pussy I've got to say lol Jk. listen to some Terence McKenna. He's such a wonderful person I personally love to listen to🌌❤

[@richardsantanna5398]

If you're not interested in relationships with others, why do you try to seem normal?

[@hemprope4326]

For me the mood is typically like that of a quiet walk in the woods. No man and culture to ruin anything. Just nature and peace in all its beauty.

[@SuperRand13]

I fit every definition of this disorder I've found. The only slight difference is I do desire sex to a certain extent, its just the effort that would have to go into finding a partner for that act far out weighs the desire.

[@marlonbrandoseyes1443]

Wow I think you're my twin. That's exactly what I am. I was browsing through the symptoms and everyone of it I had but the sex part was a bit too extreme. You couldn't have described it more perfectly. I would have just said I like sex but I'm too lazy to go out and look for it.

[@marlonbrandoseyes1443]

What's your fb btw

[@asdfmovie6820]

i was diagnosed with SPD and i feel the same exact way about sex.

[@badger1296]

If for no other reason, I wish that more of the sex industry was legalized and regulated in the US (e.g. no brothels, no human trafficking/pimping, entrepreneurial in nature, safest standards, health checkups, no street walking, e.g. Great Britain's laws). According to Maslow, Sex IS a physiological NEED and is a huge part of human wellbeing. And, who could benefit from sex/sex workers, in society, other than people who have difficulties with making relationships (e.g. people with Schitzoid PD, people who identify as Incel, people who have physical disabilities, people who are really lonely, people who have a lot of anxiety, or who are depressed). I just want to throw this idea out there because in the US, sex is not seen like a legitimate need and sex work is not seen as legitimate work. And, it is because of this rational that so many people are socially isolated and millions of MEN AND WOMEN ARE trafficked, exploited, AND brutalized in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.

[@janettucker3196]

I had a schizoid father and covert narcissist mother. Even as an adult, I still find it hard to wrap my mind around what an utterly miserable marriage that was. It was total hell for both of them. As a child I was made to feel (by the mother) that the problem was me. Kids can't possibly understand what goes on in their parents marriage, especially when the parents pretend that everything is fine.

[@PolevayaMysh]

Thank you for this video! As a schizoid I always preferred being alone, but I also worried there's something wrong with me. I wasn't sure what, but looking at other people who make friends, date, get married, I wondered why I don't want any of this. Or why do they want it. Most of my family are extroverts and they enjoy working with people. I used to think I had to be like them. It was frustrating. In fact having been diagnosed as a schizoid made me feel better, because I finally accepted that that's how I am, and it's fine. Other people are more social and good for them, I don't have to emulate them just to meet some requirements.

[@freeforall6427]

These are the traits of spiritual masters.

[@oozingpussbrain1130]

I feel emotional but can't express it. Only negative emotions though. Mainly an irrational feeling of fear with a melancholy undertone is the best way to described it. Sober or high, I always feel scared but my stoic expression says i'm calm & collected it's hell in my brain.. Someone will be talking to me and I won't catch any of it because I am playing horrific scenarios in my head. Then they get mad because they think I am ignoring them intentionally. I don't know what to do the sad/fear gets stronger everyday and eventually it will be too much to handle.

[@XRXONE]

Oozing Pussbrain I’m the same way however I’m not to good at hiding my emotions. People end the conversation super early or they look at me like I’m rude or weird :...(

[@kleanaura]

There once was a time when time was able to be manipulated. The structure acoustically was in the shape of a piramid. It was told to ring at the time of inference thus time travel progressed

[@xeganxerxes4319]

I feel that there is a massive difference between an introvert and a schizoid. Schizoids have no interest in any human contact at all, and this is a disorder which is quite rare. What's actually fairly common is a person who is introverted, but values family, has romantic relationships and maybe one or two close friends. These people often misguidedly call themselves 'loners' when they are not, they're just people who get their energy from being alone and are more independent than your average person. I don't understand why SPD is considered a disorder, it isn't hurting anybody and people with SPD are happy with their lives and should be left alone to live in peace.

[@McDanClay]

I think most "disorders" are labeled as such because it makes you act "abnormally" in society. Or perhaps disconnected. And it is usually only considered a problem if it is negatively impacting your life (or those around you).

[@vincent-xr9fi]

You're right!

[@bakesabundant2028]

some people just like to be alone and are peaceful people that are kind and have a good heart. There's nothing wrong with that. Think about buddhist monks.

[@baddoggie101]

They are not happy with themselves and by the time they wake up, it is too late as their life habits are ingrained and it is in their later years.

[@kleanaura]

I agree to the extent that the beholder of thought is aware. However it is the observation of others within that thought that changes the one whom holds the thought to change the behavior in response.

[@sziszyke]

Hi! I might have this. I'm seriously considering seeking a psychologist. I'm a 29 year old woman. For a long while now I've been feeling like something was off with me. I do prefer to be alone. When someone gets close to me, I tend to distance myself from them.(I'm not answering their messages, never initiate a meeting and I'm not missing them) I barely engage in conversation with anyone and have little to no desire to.(not even with family) I've hurt people this way already, abandoned friends, have not been there for them, don't remember birthdays and don't care to, etc. When in conversation, I often get distracted and find I don't really care what the other person has to say. I prefer my sexual fantasy over actual sex with someone, the effort and the risk of finding and keeping a partner just doesn't worth it to me. I find hardly any enjoyment in activities. I live with my mother, but we often don't even meet during the day, because I'm staying in my room all the time. Do I have this or am I just depressed?

[@noxiebobo]

It sounds like you have it. I can say this with a fair degree of certainty because I was diagnosed with it a few months back.

[@kleanaura]

Copper toxicity drives down biological zinc levels . Predominantly showing in decreased immunity

[@michaelkindt3288]

I feel like I’m an expiring schizoid. Because my ideal self is someone that can have a literally zero social interactions for the rest of their life and still be perfectly content.

[@kleanaura]

The simple fact that you found yourself here is amazing. I assure you. You are ok

[@DarkCrowI]

I have diagnosed Schizoid Personality Disorder but I have very good coping skills, I can talk to people, maintain conversations and come off as completely normal, but at the same time I feel no strong emotional connections to anyone outside of my family and even towards my family I am an outsider, I have no interest or desire to make friends, and I feel somewhat empty. The only reason I was even diagnosed is because I have a lot of mental health issues and while testing they said that there is a incredibly high chance that I'm schizoid, I don't know if I even enjoy living at this point in time but that might be due to my other health problems.

[@msalperen1]

Why do you think being a loner should be called a "disorder", while someone "for example" who is trying to sleep with every person they meet should not -because "trying to find a relationship" is completely "normal", or someone who tries to engage into utterly useless converastions with literally everybody they meet up to a point that everybody is fed up. Why should Schizoid people should seek help but not the others?

[@roseonthebeat6352]

Exactly! 🎯

[@quintincole1357]

I have a hard time finding people that I take a genuine INTEREST in. I don't consider myself a loner, but I do spend a lot of time alone. I know I'm high in introversion. I can take or leave social interaction; most people I meet just aren't very engaging. Everybody I meet just feels the same to me, aside from if I find someone physically attractive.

[@PB.JACKSON]

I am a 60 year old Male. I was married to a wonderful woman for 27 years. We divorced 14 years ago. I guess my lack of emotional commitment and increasing lack of sexual desire contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. Since divorcing we have become very close as friends. I now love her deeply and more importantly I respect her. Feeling I didn't have when married to her. Five years ago I met a beautiful woman she is physically attractive, intelligent, financially secure and loves me dearly. After the initial stage of the relationship where we had a great sexual life,i am hiw disinterested in any sexual behaviour. I would rather be alone, and I find I increasingly isolate myself. Thank you for posting this video.

[@dojufitz]

My motto during Lockdown was.... 'When this is all over, please continue to stand six feet away from me'.

[@Billybloop]

I think this describes me to some extent, especially when one compares me to most other women. I was diagnosed with Aspergers as a child. As an adult I have been reassessed and have been told that I don't have it. I have however been told that I am avoidant, have reactive attachment disorder, chronic depression and flat effect. I have read up on being avoidant and reactive attachment disorder and this doesn't sound like my issue at all. I am certainly not depressed. It's more as though I am empty and there is not a lot going on. I wasn't neglected in early childhood, and I don't fear rejection or care much about what others think of me. The issue is that I am too apathetic around people most of the time, I can't find anything in common I have with most other people and I just prefer to be by myself. I find outward displays of emotion very uncomfortable and I can't express myself most of the time. I don't care for social norms, and I don't care when people dislike me or find me offensive, if anything I often find other people's negative reactions to me humourous. Change makes me very uncomfortable, I like to do things a certain way and I don't like to compromise with people. This is a huge struggle when it comes to making friends, particularly with other women. I have only managed to meet a handful of people in my life whose company feels worth anything. I spend more of my life inwards, interacting with myself than I do the world around me. When I do bond with a person, it's an extreme rarity. I feel incredibly distanced from the majority of people. I have been married twice. My first husband, I began avoiding him because his company was soffocating. He has told me that I have no emotions, and I am completing cold and detached. My current husband and I are very similar, he's the only man I have met that I can tolerate. I do have somewhat of a sex drive and I am physically attracted to men, but when it comes to sex, I lay there and make no noise and it never feels as great as I believe it should do. My ex husband said it's like having sex with a corpse. As I grow older I feel more and more reclusive and more and more cut off from the world. I have never worked, in fact, I have been a mother and a housewife because I just had to do something with my life, and it seemed like a better option than leaving the house everyday. My maternal instincts are not lacking, I actually feel like I can be affectionate around my children and I feel warm and giddy when I see babies, when I can't be that way around anyone else, although I am not as sappy as other mothers and don't do baby talk. I don't know if I fit the criteria for a diagnosis of schizoid personality disorder, but I feel as though I tick some of the boxes.

[@SimonB.]

I dont know if i am partially a schizoid??. I am 29,I am a loner, i don't have interest in people or spending time with others. I live alone and dont even have much contact to family members. I feel much happier when I am alone. I always was like this even as a little child. Never wanted to make friends. If i had "friends" i had no problem when i lost contact. I am pretty independent and happy that way. But i have hobbies and i enjoy doing the things i am interested in (which dont involve other people haha). I am successful In my job and love doing it. People often like me or are interested in me and couldnt understand when i have no interest in social activities. So i believe i have some social skills. Maybe i am just a loner and not schizoid?

[@abhisingh1836]

i have definitely what you have,whether its your personality or disorder . i am the same.

[@lordofthegremlins]

They're describing being a loner as "schizoid," that's all. They're describing a personality trait, level of awareness of the craziness, futility of society already, as "a disorder." Psychology IS pure illusion! Own up to it for once.

[@chunkyMunky329]

Simon B You seem to fit the official definition of schizoid from the DSM

[@kleanaura]

You show classic signs of a severe lack of fluoride. Consider yourself lucky!

[@jsmith6599]

Well, it describes me quite accurately. I managed to aquire a sufficient social skills to do my job and day-to-day life (and even can pass for a normal social person), but anything "non-essential" for surviving is absent because I don't have much motivation to learn this. Never been in love, in relationships, or had sex. Do not even have a close friends. I'm getting tired from conversations very fast and in my spare time I prefer to be alone and not talking to anyone by any means that reqires an immediate answer (e.g. personally, by phone or in a live chat). Many activities that people generally find enjoyable (like parties, or nightclubs for example), is just totally boring and senseless for me. As for feelings - I do nave them, but, how should I say... My intellect goes ahead of them each time and suppresses emotions very efficiently. Too efficiently, sometimes, for my taste. Maybe because my emotions and feelings are too weak. This also contribute to my lack of motivation and apathy. So, am I a schizoid?

[@gerardhodnett7322]

Yes...but theres nothing wrong with that...me to the T---

[@bontiac]

I can relate. It’s frustrating when someone is in love with me because it makes no sense whatsoever. I’ve never shown any interest in that kind of thing and never will. I have things to do, there’s no time to be wasting in relationship that’ll for sure fail. Does anybody have any advice on what to do in this situation?

[@RedFrostGames]

Preface: I have not been diagnosed with anything. Up until high school, I had several good friends. since high school, I only have one close friend. I'm not exactly a loner since I have no problem talking to people and I will talk to people just fine. However I don't have an interest in talking to people nor keeping conversations going. I have very specific hobbies. writing code, flying model planes and I am not interested in doing these hobbies with other people. Relationship wise, I want a relationship but the emotional work that I need to put in to them drastically outweighs what I get out of it and I realize that having a relationship is too tiresome. I am interested in sex but I do not care enough to put the effort in for it. And when a relationship ends, I feel indifferent. I do not like being criticized but I also do not like being praised. people have called me cold, stoic I feel like I fit the criteria to be called "schizoid" but even if I do, maybe only a little

[@rubenhayk5514]

nice and clean explanation

[@DrGrande]

Thank you -

[@Roobah]

Stress expressed in every day life -- as required in the DSM for SPD -- comes from those others around them freaking out that they can't get a strong reaction out of the SPD person. If everyone around you reacts to you and that significantly affects your day to day life, good enough for a diagnosis.

[@dansome5170]

I was diagnosed with this disorder by a therapist with co-morbid depression. I stopped going when it wasn't being treated effectively. This may have been a misdiagnosis. Maybe not. Take my story with a grain of salt. I'm a loner and generally seen as emotionless and indifferent as said in this video. But I do have a lot of emotional depth. I actually want to have close friends, but I want them to be a certain way--intelligent and empathetic to give a couple surface level indicators. If I find my people, we're inseparable, and I'm willing to do anything for them while it lasts. But otherwise, I have little interest in being a part of society. If I force myself to be friends with someone who sees something in me, I start thinking they are stupid, shallow, greedy, or some other negative thing, and I stop contacting them after a while. My hobbies....I sit in my car or at the library and read books or browse KZbin. That's it. I used to play a lot of video games and make art, but anhedonia stopped that. I find dating and sex boring. Even with an attractive guy, it lasts too long. I've had two boyfriends. One of them raped me several times when I wasn't in the mood, and the other one I left because I was bored with doing the same things every day with him and felt guilty it was so one-sided. I stopped looking for romance after that. Right now, all I can get off to sexually is stories about crazy situations between gay men that are dangerous or straight up impossible in reality (such as literal magic). Before I was such a loner, I was into much more "normal" things like gay romance stories with a decent build up. And I wanted that for myself too.

[@malabuha]

It's like a trap. This type of behaviour, lack of association, will receive the respective reaction from people. Observing the negative response will justify the disassociation and we get a loop of an inner conflict: When you distance yourself from community, they become afraid of you and think you are a weirdo. It's impossible not to notice that and you naturally feel hurt. Because humans are social creatures by nature. That hurt creates even bigger gap. When people of this type say they dont care about opinions and appreciate being a loner, deep down they are at war with their own feelings. So they protect themselves by shutting them off. Which again creates negative reaction from the outside. A trap.. on the surface it seems they lack emotion ... but the structure of this disorder depends on it... emotion feeds it Of course i could be totally wrong..

[@Oniku-niginigi]

1:24 “Working alone at night as a security guard” Absolutely phenomenal.

[@lashajakeli]

Dr. Grande, If there is no functional impairment and no suffering, why consider it as a disorder at all? It is dramatically different to other personality disorders in that regard as you've already pointed out, so why call it a disorder?

[@wolfbloodgangaa8777]

Because it messes up your life and who you are.

[@xivwords5448]

Doesn’t sound like anything needs to be treated. Work hard and do t bother people what’s wrong with that

[@naitch5365]

thank you sir for your concise explanation.

[@danieladams8085]

Can't improve any of them when its hard to trust anyone

[@grandpaashes4532]

my dad have been loner all his life except when he mate with my mother. he even abandon us and dont even know im exist. he's so obsessed with weird ancient egyptian arrows, estabilishing mafia gang and selling drugs to kids. everytime someone tries to find his past he would donut'ed them.

[@evesdrop1982]

This disorder has always been very interesting to me, probably because I’m fairly close to it myself. I don’t have the disorder but I am a “loner” in a less extreme sense of the word. I’m more of a extreme introvert than a full schizoid pd. I tend to prefer jobs where I work with little or no interaction with other people, I don’t have any close friends mostly because I have crap interpersonal skills and because the idea of the demands that come with close relationships outside of my family seems exhausting. However I am married with 5 kids and I enjoy my relationship with my family. I also have limited “acquaintances” type friendships where, if I run into someone out and about, I can engage in a pleasant conversation with them. I do tend to spend an inordinate amount of time seeking solitude and I have a somewhat flat affect but not to this extreme. And there are certain aspects of interpersonal interaction that I do enjoy and do seek out. So while I share some of the characteristics to some degree, I don’t actually go far enough to have the disorder. I think that because strong introversion is so close to schizoid pd, I understand this disorder in a deeper way than other disorders and that’s why I find it so fascinating. This video was a very good, thorough description of a very misunderstood disorder.

[@sidka84]

is there any comorbidity with add/adhd?

[@zombiewoof5257]

Yep, that's me.

[@barryb6685]

I think I’ve coped through the worst of this in my teens. I had the stilted speech and flat affect, but I wasn’t ok with social apathy. Now, in my 30s, I enjoy interacting with people, but I rarely seek a deeper connection.

[@nailworx6593]

I think schizoid personalities are so zen....they just plod along enjoying their self time and dont require the same stimuli on a day to day basis as the neurotypical

[@noxiebobo]

Only the self-actualized schizoid can experience the level of harmony granted from reaching a true state of zen though.

[@kleanaura]

Easy there. You may provoke thought

[@dsteppenwolf]

Hello Mr. Grande, this is an old video but nevertheless I'd like to thank you; for all your videos on the topic of Schizoid PD. Not that I think you or anybody for that matter will get to read this post, but I'd still like to open up as I've never gotten the chance to. I'm a 26 years old programmer and English is not my first language, but I've learnt what I've learnt through reading and what have you, and in all my reading and researching random topics of interest, I had never really heard about SPD. I've always thought that it was just an abbreviation for Schizophrenia. Guilty of my ignorance I suppose. Throughout my life, I have never had a friend and did not feel the need to have one. Though I must note that, when I was much younger and/or especially as a teenager, I used to think that I should try to make friends and was sometimes depressed of the fact that I did not have any. But, as I grew up I realized that it was just the environment that I was in; parental pressure and trying to "fit in" with other children and basically becoming a chameleon in public. For some time I even thought of myself as a Sociopath; as I never acted like myself in public and every move I'd make would just be an attempt at manipulating other people (obviously not in a harmful way). As I've said, I never had any friends, but I did have a couple romantic relationships, and surprisingly they've lasted through a considerable amount of time, however distasteful they might be; some more than a couple of years. Looking back, I now realize a certain similarity between all of my relationships, that I was always in a state of.. irritation? Always, while spending time with these people, I would feel as if I was just enduring their presence and that I'd be better off if they were just not around. I now understand why, but back then I'd feel a sense of guilt and question my feelings for that person. And suffice to say.. all of my relationships ended badly. My last relationship ended about 9 months ago, and it was such an eye-opener for me. I was the one to break it off and I was "fed up" with their constant demands and disregard of my personal time. I still remember them telling me that I would just rot alone in my house. And even then I did not feel a thing. I was happy "rotting". I was happy and content with NOT wanting to meet the people they wanted me to meet. NOT go to the places or do the things they urged me to do constantly. All of my life, I just wanted to be alone and do my own thing. It just took me some time to prepare or to be at peace with what I wanted I suppose. I am definitely a Schizoid; but I have not been disagnosed and I do not even see the point in getting diagnosed.. Reading further into SPD, I see that it is not a well researched "disorder" and I doubt that SPD would be the first to come to the minds of Doctors that I'd see near me. Lastly, I'd like to again, thank you for your insight. I now know that there are more people like me out there.. somewhere, that are just happy and content being by themselves.

[@jimmyb3333]

The clinical term is a pejorative one. I think that historically, these traits were aspirational, and they were called stoics. Does anyone see a difference between the two?

[@judahgirl5153]

THANK YOU. Amazing resource!!! Great delivery and content!!

[@DrGrande]

Thank you so much!

[@goombah226]

It is not a disorder. It is a personality type. Virtually every problem in my life has been other people and their inappropriate behavior. My life is just so much better as a loner.

[@cottonfootage]

Society thought us to be social butterflies but i just want to be left the f alone and society treat you like a freak just because you're different....

[@job3831]

All is vanity and a chasing after the wind...

[@dragonfly111cute]

Hi Dr. Grande, I am not sure if you’ve ever answered this question regarding this personality. I took the Cambridge empathy and the other tests which both indicated that I was possibly on the Autism Spectrum. When I went to the Neuropsychologist I was diagnosed with this disorder. Is there any overlapping of the two? I would definitely say that I fit what you said about work and I do have outside my family relationships with about two people and I have lots of surface level people that I don’t go out of my way to know. Mainly because of this lifelong feeling of being on the outside of the social group never fitting in or understood why people do what they did. Those tests indicated that I have neurodivergent brain and I have the kind of empathy most people on the spectrum have. Could both issues co-occur? Any insights into these together or not would be awesome! Thank you for everything! I have been here since before you had 5k ! So I wanted to tell you congratulations on your channel growing!!

[@katruya]

This isn't a disorder. It's normal. I love being alone. I finally realized that all my suffering is created when I am around others. So glad I got rid of everyone. This isn't a disorder. To classify it as a disorder is just plain absurd. Some people don't have an interest in friendships or romance. Some people are indifferent. Some people are detached and inexpressive. That's okay. This shouldn't be considered an issue at all. If you can live in an isolated way happily, then you are not sick.

[@rahulkalra7281]

Thank you for this. Makes it easier to understand!

[@RaikenXion]

Im thinking maybe i have this, i met this woman at work and i've struggled to build a proper relationship with her. She likes me and ive just let her down. I have preferred jobs where i work alone just havnt had much luck getting them. Ive tried to get a job stacking shelves and wanted to work in like park maintenance. Im trying to see a counsellor about it, i already had a phone assessment, and have been waiting to get an appointment to see someone but now this CV has happened and now i dont know whats going to happen. I have a binge drinking problem because of it too. Its quite scary now. I know theres something wrong with me, at first i thought it was my bipolar but now im thinking maybe its more.

[@chasethehorizonx]

I have SPD lite. Like, I'm just barely capable of producing crumbs of serotonin sometimes. Very little is genuinely pleasurable, but I do get genuine bursts of joy from time to time. A lot of my life is spent pretending to other people that I find shit fascinating and really cool. I've locked myself in the house on and off for long periods of time (year plus), going out maybe once a week or every two weeks for groceries. Most people are lackluster, and it is genuinely hard to meet people I value. I can go for periods of time socializing a a lot, but it is extraordinarily empty makes me feel emotionally overwhelmed and unstable to do so. I wear a lot of black, and love the idea of being invisible in public. There are a handful of people in my life that I really genuinely love and would lay down my life for. I do like sex, but fantasy is definitely more interesting than reality. I have a rich world inside my head, but that part of me is locked. My sister, who I have a close relationship to told me she thought I was secretive. I think people would assume I'm normal, because I've created a persona that feels enough like who I am to tolerably act as if. I think I probably just have mild Aspergers. But the Wikipedia description of this disease really resonates.

[@terrapinflyer273]

I feel like I have all of the personality traits mentioned here. But, I feel I am constantly under an immense amount of personal distress. Possibly due to APD (avoidance personality disorder)? I do enjoy various activities. Playing guitar, music, video games, exploring technology related things. But I feel like there's something missing from APD where it doesn't quite fit me... Perhaps a culmination of the two?

[@bestvideoforcats]

We are just cats reincarnated.

[@rockyfalldownstairs]

I feel close to this in a lot of ways. But I do still desire social interaction. Maybe I'm scared of connecting with others or don't know what to do to connect with others. My problem is that I'll feel lonely but I never reach out to people to socialize. Maybe I forget because of ADHD and constantly bounce to other ideas and places, and then I am afraid to reconnect.

[@socialside5332]

I have just come back from a psychology meeting and we were discussing loneliness and the speaker said that everyone needs someone anyone who says otherwise is probably schizoid. I find that false and also a misconception about actual schizoid. There is nothing wrong with being satisfied with your own company it does not mean you have got schizoid

[@noxiebobo]

Yet to proclaim this idea with such pride and object to it so adamantly is a telltale sign of a schizoid. We have to struggle with the simultaneous craving and fear of intimacy so the best defense mechanism we can form is to see our autistic way of thinking as something to take pride in and feel superior for. We build our self image around it, obsessing over forming a detailed and well-understood philosophy/rationale of it and holding it close to our chest. Deep down though we feel guilt and shame for looking at such a selfish thing as a strength, but it's all we can do to cope with such a curse. When they said this, they weren't being literal. Their remark had a lot of truth to it, but you have to approach it with the right referential knowledge/understanding.

[@oozingpussbrain1130]

I've never had close friends or a girlfriend. No interest in sex. I work alone in a dairy cooler. Severe depression on top of it and depersonalization. Suicide is frequently in my mind because of my short attention span and dependency on opiates for any form of pleasur. My family is dead and the ones that aren't are in poor health. I have tried to overdose but I guess my tolerance is too high. Nobody knows I tried either. I am walking on eggshells & I don't know what to do. Shit job with no medical insurance, no $, stressed and hate my city, hooke on dope, & slowly loosing grip.

[@allaboardthegravytrain5987]

sounds like asperger's, dismissive avoidant attachment, or in myers briggs, the INTJ

[@Toshiro4619]

Not quite a diagnosis but I exhibit every behavior. If I ever make it to a shrink I may bring it up, but I'm almost 30 and that sounds like too much to deal with honestly.

[@DaisyMoose1991]

Hello kind commenters, I’m looking for some insight and different opinions from the schizoid perspective. I just went through a painful process of figuring out what is going on with one of my family members and it seems like the search has landed me here. There may be other factors that play, but all the schizoid features line up with them perfectly. So here’s my question now. How do I go about interacting with this person? Do schizoids truly just wanna be left alone with not much interaction? This is very difficult for me to understand because I’m very much the opposite personally. I just came to the realization that this person cannot meet the emotional needs of the family, the desired amount of closeness, and hang-out time. But I’m trying to figure out what to do next. I want to invite them to come around and reach out to them on occasion, but I’m not sure if this is welcome. I have tried discussing with them what I want/need but it just felt flat and maybe even got worse after that. When I try to state my wants/needs to this person it kind of seems like it makes them feel guilty and they push away even more. I’m at a place where I accept that this is just the way things are but looking for perspectives on how to proceed with interacting with this person because it seems cruel and needless to just cut them out, almost did to be fully honest, but after researching this it seems like it would be mean to hold this condition against them. For more context, this person is the sibling of my significant other and we recently had a child and moved across the country to be closer to family and have gotten very little reaction or response despite living very close by for their convenience. It’s been heartbreaking to realize that our child will not have a close and loving aunt/uncle figure but we just need a plan to move forward. Of course, this has also devastated my significant other who expected a tight bond with their sibling upon returning to their home turf after living away for many years. (Seems that this condition was much less back in the past, hence the shock.) Sorry for the long post but felt that it would be good to clarify a few things to get the best answers possible from people. Also, I want to say that in no way am I judging people with this condition I’m just trying to be honest about the fact that it has been painful to deal with. It feels like grieving a loss but the person is still there. Trying to focus on the positive and still have a relationship without overburdening or having unrealistic expectations of this person. They also might be in a toxic (at best) or abusive relationship (at worst) but it is difficult to figure it out considering how little we see them in the mixed messages that we’ve got. Even though we thought that was the main reason for their distance for a while, there is much more to this puzzle and schizoid personality seems to fit the bill so far. They both have unusual social behaviors, although their significant other is more hostile. Anyway, I guess that adds more context but it’s not really the main point. I look forward to hearing and brainstorming some ways to help. How do we show we care and that we are always here for this person without pressuring them and making them feel worse about who they are? Right now the approach is to throw out invitations for family get-togethers once a month (or way less) for birthdays or holidays but not trying to pressure for more hangouts or time together. Some casual chatting online but again no pressure, not overly frequent, and typically about the topics that they seem to care about. Any insight helps. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for your comments if you feel so inclined to leave one.

[@alexandrakulanova5722]

I am schizoid. I just feel like an alien or being from another dimension, who accidentally came to this planet and has to pretend to be human. P. S. Sorry for my English.

[@Ema-ew5bw]

Hi, I have a 24-year-old boy who was diagnosed with narcissistic, paranoid and schizoid personality. It is true, he sometimes spends time alone, walks alone in areas with very few people. However, I see that my boy always chooses to spend time with one or more friends. He has some old friends, good friends, but sometimes he also finds new friends. He is not very friendly, but every year he finds about 3 new friends. In our area, many young people leave for other cities and countries, and my son is always sad when a friend of his goes to live in another city. And when an old friend comes to town for a few days, he always spends time with that friend. Eye contact rarely happens in a discussion; and is generally not a positive person. He is a person who can hide his feelings and often does; however, sometimes he gets visibly angry for various reasons, other times he is cheerful. And then I wonder if my boy really has a schizoid personality. Is this a schizoid personality?

[@nodoubtinmymind8660]

Hi is this disorder found in people with NPD or traits of narcisissm? Also can you develop this in your 40's or is it developed in childhood. Ive read its linked with NPD/BPD/ traits of narcisissm and also adult trauma. Thank you.

[@brendalg4]

Can it be a learned response, or you appear to have it but really don't? I was diagnosed with it. I was bullied by kids all throughout my childhood. I couldn't form relationships because they wouldn't let me. Like if I asked if I could sit in a seat they would say no, even though no one was using it. I sat by myself for lunch because no one would eat with me etc. The only reason I know I was treated this way is because I played with a child no one else would play with. So then they decided not to play with me either. I still have no friends as an adult. The disorder was diagnosed due to a test I took, When I told the psychologist about my background, she said it could have been a false positive result. But she still put it in her report that I had it. I feel I am part of a very significant group of people that are testing as if they have this but society has forced them into this role. They ask stupid questions on the test like would you want to go to movies with friends. I said no.. not because I wouldn't want to go out with people.. but because movies today suck. Also because I cannot sit for a long period of time like that due to health. The psychologist also said I had "yes but" thinking whatever that means. Maybe it means things like me thinking I fit the criteria but it is not for the reason they think. Personally I feel that is a skill not a negative.

[@pickledsavage9193]

I think I have this disorder but have I have a close group of a few friends who I greatly enjoy being with (one who is autistic but functional). I hate connecting with anyone in my family exactly how the doc described it. I had a girlfriend for about half a year and enjoyed sex but it has been 3 1/2 since I have had any other sexual experiences with others. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex it’s that I don’t want to put in the effort to get there. But I believe I have found a cure, somewhat to the disorder by playing sports. I have played sports all my life and they are my only true love. I enjoyed football the most because of the brotherhood that comes with it. That’s why I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I enjoy the social interaction with other men in a wolf pack environment not because I see them as friends, but I see them as the brothers I never had. Everyone accepts everyone and I believe that being in that kind of brotherhood wolf pack with other men is the cure to this disorder. Please leave me feedback if you have any.

[@marciathehooligan3861]

My poor brother-in-law was diagnosed with this when he was in his early 40s. The family just treated him like the family pet. He lived with & slept in the same room with his elderly father until the father died. He never held a job. And me & my father-in-law would go round & round when I told him to get help for poor Andrew! Finally after I divorced my husband & the father died, my ex got Andrew help so he could get a check for him. You sound like you are describing my ex to a T!

[@kofimarti]

This personality shouldn't be classified as a disorder. We know lots of relationships are simply fake and untrustable. Lots of Friendship and outward emotions are for the weak man who can't deal with his shits. The shizoid is self independent, self sufficient and doesn't cause trouble by poking nose into people's business. They have the heart to tolerate the ignorance of the majority

[@LiuMeldoy7676]

I wish I cloud alive no longer than 40

[@kleanaura]

One year later! I could alive

[@egieoruyi7579]

Nooo stay alive loonger

[@leorashirley1769]

Yes, very helpful. Thank you.

[@poodiepie527]

Wow... he's describing literally me!

[@geargail]

Thanks for explaining... what that is. vs. What 'Tinsel-Town' or bad Storytelling.

[@yourkingdomcomeyourwillbedone]

That was Grande 👏💫

[@Djejsksocowkw]

Lol my ex dumped me because of his spd and this video is very helpful thank you so much

[@missouh.l6734]

Now i understand a lot of what is happening with me , how can someone deal with high school like this?

[@rexrobertson2219]

i'm not sure this is a "disorder". but as I will never seek "help" or "diagnosis", why bother?? most criteria fits like a glove.

[@JustClaude13]

Schizoid Personality isn't a disorder, it's a type. It's a type that doesn't fit well with human society, but it's an extreme end of the normal spectrum. You keep talking about symptoms as absolute, but it's more a lower level of normal drives. It's not like they don't want relationships; they just don't feel much need for them They may not treasure the relationships they do have, but they do appreciate the contact they have. The friction comes from the fact that they have a much lower tolerance for human interaction than other people. Once they reach their limit, they have to get away.

[@keerongill7310]

Damn i just thought i was stoic

[@MazAzif]

This is sooo me

[@roybatty4687]

This is ironic. I was wondering what personality disorder Dr Todd Grande has and his own video popped up.

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

Is there a difference in male and female for this disorder?

[@DrGrande]

I don't remember seeing anything on this, but I will take a look at the literature to see what I can find.

[@hankmoody5514]

How do I cure it?

[@kleanaura]

What is your question?

[@kleanaura]

Vitamin D

[@kleanaura]

Manganese is needed for enzymes

[@jinglerpuff8630]

I think it is more likely alexithymia and not schizoid personality disorder, both lack sex drive and won't bother with people's personal space, but with alexithymia it's normal as it isn't pathological like schizoid personality disorder so it is most likely alexithymia and not schizoid disorder.

[@ankhisoorma6242]

What is disorder if people stay in past all the time? And think of childhood all the time or want that time to return, are unable to deal with changes with time or growing up?

[@michaelscott5155]

Thanks!

[@mrminty7604]

What if I’m emotionless but have a few really close friends and talk with my parents occasionally, but I have no desire to do much and don’t want major relations or like to have pleasure or praise. I’m in the 14-17 age range btw

[@nethermonkey44]

I Have this one a.d.d. traumatic brain injury Clinical depression symptoms I'm going dyslexic and autism symptoms have creeped in I like to think myself as a high functioning autistic but I'm thinking about going non verbal 😂 could all of those prognosis lead to autism or was I just autistic and never knew about it. Now I'm thinking like a schizoid . I'm trying to stay away from toxic people but that's what drove me into being a schizoid in the first place and being afraid of social instances but the problem with being afraid of people(social) predators it makes the wicked ones attracted to you and I feel like that's what makes us skizoid also whenever you learn what they're up to and you get used to the scams and tricks people try to play even though it's different people you see them from a mile away.

[@DoubleVoddy]

i dont want help i dont need help this is who i am

[@FB-mw5gv]

I wonder if there's a link with people with SPD and a high or above average IQ. From the research I've done (not a lot lol) there seems to be a link. Like people with SPD are aware of the value and abilities they have or could of had if circumstances was different. That's why subconsciously the norms of society become difficult because nobody else Is aware of your true value and abilities so instead of being another nobody like everybody else you see, you'd rather be alone because at least you know your own worth. Am I right?

[@justlivinglife465]

My brother has this.. he still lives at home, seems to be happy to not have friends or a girlfriend. I don't think he is an extreme case, his job does involve talking with people. However I have thought for a while that something is amiss.

[@kelpme2757]

Is it possible for people with Schizoid Personality Disorder to have ADHD?

[@G-xu3qm]

My brother has this, I remember telling him our uncle has died while I was crying, he showed absolute ZERO emotions and went to bathroom!!!!

[@PreciousIvy]

can social anxiety also cause schizoid personality disorder?

[@DrGrande]

I am not aware of any evidence that indicates that link, but there could be another unknown factors that contribute to the development of both these disorders (e.g. neglect, abuse, or isolation as a child).

[@danaattieh8290]

would it be more likely that social anxiety result in avoidant personality disorder rather than schizoid personality disorder?

[@nologojophienoxrising8133]

What makes this disorder? Sad. Shall persons be better ever? Hmm Gainful employment... Thanks.

[@trasktrollet1225]

Disregard Females, Acquire Magic

[@ipnotikfromitaly5094]

A perfect description of my dad, he’s a completely emotionless zombie.

[@abhisingh1836]

someday i am going to be that zombie father i guess.

[@cachem11]

Damn. This is totally me except I enjoy sex. I don't care about complements and criticisms at all. I didn't care to attend commencements for my BS, MS, and PhD. I hate any type of festivals and big gathering events. I though I have Aspergers(autism).

[@jackslepowron5905]

cachem11 yeah you might

[@gwin8463]

I don't have a disorder, I love my life

[@nologojophienoxrising8133]

How.would one know who has what and be able to really pin a diagnostic treatment to one's personality, behavior, biochemistry, environment, brain malfunction - damage gene, hormones, diet, energy levels, and the list goes on... Frankly " mental illness " - health" properly functioning is mystifying. Who is the perfect specimen? and one (imho) is doomed to media frenzy's and junk ins. company's time limits for patients treatment, plus finding the right Dr. or clinician or program is dauntingly fearful with such stigmatising understudies how much can one do to be. Just be? Disregarding of course those which are blandly obvious with huge disfunctionable social disorders, but get away for years with murders, ECT Thanks. I have been watching and pondering over the years why all the labels? They are so stigmatising for far too many, still. Much work to be done here. No thanks to some reporters, as doctors and nurses and staff and students and parents and poverty and hunger and this list too, seems endless... Plagued as Aristotle's winking at Socrates who Plato sold his legacy to for a bargain, Ethics, it's value to moral's which may be a complex system of governmental rules inside laws of physics and biology, but Science is still an art of parts invisible. An experiment constant. Though not but circled humans like Jung and us allowed to be. Just and be justified. However, one has brought with themselves a promise. Which is their last breath - and this is all... Again, thanks for the space. Be well.

[@shuqinxu7619]

this is exactly me

[@wyattbunnell8083]

So schizoids' are like introverted or is it introverted

[@ussessu]

I'm textbook example.

[@user-MetalAngel]

So if a person chooses by their own volition to be a loner, or asocial, then academia relegates them as having a disorder. Yet, I read recently quite the contrary, in that loner's tend to have higher IQ's. Likely because they aren't distracted by people and have more time to think clearly without a myriad of social distractions. I have personally chosen this path and find it insulting that some academics would say that I have a disorder.

[@adamlewis5073]

are Schizoid patients also sociopaths/psychopaths (lacking empathy)?

[@katrinashirokauer3616]

Adam Grossman Sociopaths and psychopaths (not technically a psychiatric diagnosis) are individuals with antisocial personality disorder.

[@noxiebobo]

No. It's important to make the distinction that schizoids are best described as asocial whereas socio/psychopaths are most definitely antisocial.

[@danieladams8085]

Me too

[@amelpoulin2714]

I have maladaptive daydreaming am I schyy....?

[@wongrichx]

Is it very common? It seems there are lots of people have such characteristics. 😂😂😂