What is Sexuality??? Our Thoughts On Attraction as a Lesbian and a Bisexual

Come hang out with us as we ramble through and between various topics including scientific experiments on hotness, fit athletes and Mr. Clean.

[@cheezpuffg0rawr]

9:53 As a woman in a relationship questioning my sexuality holy shit this idea is revolutionary for me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

[@smach3079]

And here I thought I was the only one attracted to a good muscular physique! It's just quadrupled in effect when those muscles are on a woman though.

[@bailey0946]

i knew i liked girls in junior high. i never said anything to my family because we were Catholic. I'm in my 50's and i am still in the closet. i have come out to a few friends but it's very hard for me. i will say i love being myself around the friends I'm out to. i will say "hey look at the pretty girl or she's cute." love your videos!

[@HannahSadie]

Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your story! It can be so hard to come out of the closet, so cheers to you for telling some friends! Happy Valentine’s Day💕🌈

[@poonamkapoor3384]

Yes, we can be attracted to any gender or anything, but it does not mean that we act on those thoughts without thinking them through!!

[@chwilhogyn]

I've always been comfortable with my sexuality as a 'straight' man and I'm not afraid to tell someone is attractive in my eyes male or female, but when it comes down having a romantic or sexual attraction I'm drawn to a certain type! With having my GBFF from high school which I was attracted to my type at the time, whom I told I was falling for! Being the 90s she was strong enough to tell me she was liked girls! I was shocked a little broken hearted but didn't change our friendship it became stronger I even introduced her to her now wife, which happens to be my cousin!!

[@HannahSadie]

What a cool story about your cousin and now cousin-in-law!! Thank you so much for sharing!

[@Sasha-fi1nz]

19:20 holy shit you guys!! I've spent so long trying to understand how I can self-define as a lesbian but also one who doesn't believe in the gender binary/wants to divest from it... The question of: if gender isn't real then how can my attraction be has been niggling me for years and I've never felt I had a place I could explore it before this video (thank you for putting that into words Hannah)!! When Sadie said "you're attracted to HOW someone performs gender" she absolutely hit the nail on the head... That exchange was so clarifying. Thank you both so much!! On top of cracking open my understanding of sexuality/gender, it also made me realise that that's why I'm personally so much more attracted to out lesbian/bisexual women than straight women, because there's typically a level of consciousness about their performance of gender - a deliberateness to they way they play with it (and a not-catering-to-the-male-gaze ness) that's so powerful and hot

[@RekindledBibliophile]

Thank you so much for making this. It’s been one of the most relatable, affirming and comforting videos I’ve watched in a long time. Please continue making discussion videos like this. You guys are so authentic and honest, it’s refreshing ♥️

[@user-rv2ig1zz3n]

Great convo!! 🙌 Demisexual is a term I connect with. "A person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone." I'd been oblivious throughout my premarital life with others sending me STRONG signals that were just flying over my head because, in my mind, they hadn't gotten through to my emotional wall for me to even consider them in an intimate way. 😅 Anyone can have a nice body imo. It's the person on the inside that's the turn on.

[@HannahSadie]

Hannah here- I JUST watched a video on this today!! I relate to this so hard. Cheers to you, and thank you for bringing this up!

[@hmmcms1]

@@HannahSadie I was literally gonna suggest looking up demisexual byut figured I'd check the comments first 😊

[@whitneyflynn1349]

If you haven’t read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski you both should definitely check it out! It is a fascinating book that explains sexuality, attraction, and sex drive so well!

[@m3l0d1cg]

I love this long form vid. lol on the mr. clean segment!

[@HannahSadie]

😂 mr. clean- such a babe! And thanks!!

[@agnestoftgard3230]

Thank you for making these videos! I am just now starting to come to terms with being bi and I appreciate listening to your genuine conversations so much. 💕 I can definitely relate to re-evaluating friendship crushes and wondering what would have happened if society hadn’t told me that I could only be attracted to men 🤔 Sadie, would you consider talking about religion and how you see your faith, having been raised in a religious family?

[@Kpop0223]

I feel the same way about dancer bodies! I'm in awe when I see them.

[@rosemargriffith]

Fascinating conversation. Love you guys

[@chrisduffield430]

I live in the uk, a paraplegic, and fed up off this Covid crap, so seeing smiling faces means a lot, thought pup was part husky and what beautiful markings 😘🌈🇬🇧❤️

[@HannahSadie]

We’re fed up with it too❤️ and we’re honored to be a bright spot in your day! Thank you for sharing a little about yourself:)

[@2looprevil]

Dear Hannah & Sadie .. Congratulation with 2000 .. Great and fast

[@HannahSadie]

Thanks so much Alejandro! It happened so fast- we can barely believe it.

[@markbudd5250]

I think you guys are fantastic and I welcome your honesty. Back in the 80's I read a book by Dr Pietroni called Holistic Living. it really helped me understand my own sexuality by discriminating between (1) sexual organ (penis /vagina), (2) Gender (Male/Female) and (3) Sexual Orientation (Hetero./Gay/Bi). Someone can have a penis, have a female gender and be heterosexual (for example), or have a vagina, have a male gender and be Gay. A lot of confusion arises because we conflate (1) and (2). Please keep these video's going - they really help break down barriers!

[@madeline-7748]

Loved hearing your perspectives, and comparing them to my own as a transgender lesbian woman.

[@HannahSadie]

So cool Madeline thank you!

[@NSHarrison]

I don't normally like to make comparisons but simply put I think you gals are a cut above, like Rose & Rosie. Obviously very different video styles, content & perspectives yet still a breath of fresh air.

[@HannahSadie]

Wow Nick that is a huge compliment. THANK YOU!!

[@isabellaflorian8804]

I can't neatly categorize my feelings at all and never have been able to. Every label I've tried has always felt "wrong" and trying to learn all the terms to express everything hurts my brain LOL. All I know is that I'm dating a man that I'm not sexually attracted to (and he knows this) but we're both each other's person and are so happy in our relationship together. I think instead of asking myself what my label is, I should just ask myself if I'm happy with them and if they're happy with me.

[@ingridmaduro6543]

Hallo Hannah and Sadie, I like the topic, and as I think I knew from my younger age that I like girls. But the family of my father and mother were very very Roman Catholic. And I was not allowed to say nothing or even think different. But what had made me strong is that I am free to think, like and love somebody, maybe someday again. I have all the time and if I never fall in love again, still I am who I am, a woman who will fall in love someday with the right woman. And I will never put a label on a person, I let every person be her or his self. Love the video. 🌈

[@HannahSadie]

Thanks so much Ingrid, and thanks for sharing! We totally love the idea of letting everyone be who they are, without having to fit into a box. Cheers to you!

[@greggoett]

Like the opening. Making tea.

[@HannahSadie]

😊 Thanks Gregory!

[@Golden90960]

V relatable content! Thanks ladies

[@HannahSadie]

Thank you for the support!!

[@gladysramirez5133]

I am currently single and have been for a few months. I have decided to take a step back and think about what I honestly value in a person. I totally agree with your opinions/ideas and honestly appreciate it.

[@HannahSadie]

Thank you for that Gladys! Cheers to reflection. We send our best😘

[@jackiey_2379]

"its doesnt matter whther u can categorize it" "watever category or non category u find urself in"👌👌 💞💞💞💞

[@HannahSadie]

☺️🌈💕

[@rosecaron9905]

I loved this video. Open discussions are so refreshing. I call myself bi, but I don’t want to end up with a man. I know some part of me would always feel unfulfilled. It’s just so hard to except my heart belongs to women. I’ve spent years imagining an unfulfilled “happy” life with a man. And I’m really tired of it. I feel attracted to men. But when I find one hot, pretty much the first thought running through my mind is “if I go out with him, at what point will I break up with him” because I know if I end up with a man, I will eventually leave him when it becomes unbearable....I’m not really sounding bi 🧐 and I don’t want to break any ones heart so I don’t pursue men. I’ve never really fit into any box. “Bi” feels like a lie because I don’t want to marry a man. But because I’m attracted to men I feel like a fraud if I were to call myself a lesbian. If you’re ever comfortable sharing more on your story Sadie, I would love to hear about how you were attracted to men and then realized you were a lesbian. Thanks 💗

[@lduran3902]

Rose Caron I love the honesty of your response. I too consider myself bi or pan bc I’m attracted to people in general, their hearts and personalities, really. However, I feel as though I’d want to spend my life with a woman. I’ve dated mostly men and only one woman, but find myself far more fulfilled with a woman. (I also, didn’t come out until I was 28 and 3 years into a marriage with a man. Long story!) I understand your struggle. You’re not alone!!

[@rosecaron9905]

L Duran thank you so much 🙏 it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I think you’re so brave for living your truth. That must have been hard to do partway through a marriage, but I admire you.

[@lmuller524]

Omg you just described what I'm currently struggling with. I don't want to hurt anyone, I like men and am attracted to them. But with every man I meet, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with. Recently, I've questioned if I like women. And I know that I've always knew if a woman is beautiful, but am I attracted to them? Can I imagine being with a woman? Or am I just too scared of what other people think? I've always had deep female friendships, but does that make me queer or do I simply like honest connections?

[@kateskinner3608]

So after thinking about all of this and both of you going through lots of change and transition- what made you two look at each other and say - “heck yeah! Lets’s give this a try”

[@HannahSadie]

We’re going to do a series of videos soon on how our relationship developed- stay tuned!

[@missria8975]

Make video about "how the first time fell in love or first kiss" so curious..

[@HannahSadie]

This is definitely coming soon! Thank you!

[@andrelinoge2841]

The greatest attraction should always be, just being yourself with another. "We are all attractive and beautiful in our own ways; it just takes the right person to hold the mirror and convince us of what others already see". In today's world it's easy to be misguided into thinking and believing what others expect you to think and believe. Ignore them and you will surely live a much happier life with whomever makes you happy.

[@HannahSadie]

Andre- Hannah here. I love that quote so much, and I totally agree. That's something I've loved so much about dating Sadie. I am a better and happier me when I'm with her!

[@andrelinoge2841]

@@HannahSadie Glad to see your lives are in sync. You're lucky to have each other. The key sometimes, is to remember that when you forget.

[@tearagallinger2853]

Aww u to are so awesome love watching your videos I may not be gay or lesbian but I support the LGBTQ community because I have family members that are gay and lesbian

[@HannahSadie]

Thank you for your support Teara!!

[@mrc2205]

I swam for many years and played so many sports. I love athletes bodies. And I can totally appreciate any man with a fit athletic body. But a strong muscled woman is wow to me. I am also a strong looking woman. Not as fit as I used to be but big shoulders and muscled legs. I am gay that’s for sure. But still I think anyone who is fit is nice to look at. That doesn’t mean I want them. I have a partner whom I adore. But you can think someone is attractive and that’s ok. Not like I wanna jump their bones or anything.

[@kencoleman5007]

Personally, I could always connect most easily with females, and was drawn to those are who have strength (not necessarily jacked), and have an emotional combination of tenderness and warmth. At the same time, I often I identified most with female figures in my life (with exceptions like Egon Spengler and Batman).Growing up, there continued to be people who I identified with, and would see our lifestyles as loosely being similar, and older women (sometimes just a few years older, sometimes maybe 10-15-20 years). Back in the summer of '99, there was a girl four years older who I worked with (we painted murals for our city), and we'd just spend days on scaffolding painting, and listening to Fiona Apple's "Tidal" album playing on a loop on her portable CD player and speakers. I became increasingly disconnected with ideas of masculinity (and the development of my body). In college, I did meet some guys who I saw as attractive, and thought that I could be a little bi, but the idea of being physically sexual with a man (even the great ones) makes me cringe, panic, and uncomfortably step back. Still, I felt a kinship with the LGBTQ community, and prayed to my godfather (a gay uncle who died from complications with AIDS when I was 7) for answers. I started coming across articles about trans women, started using Second Life, and experimented slightly with my avatar's appearances (while telling Second Life sexual partners), and started finding that interacting with people as a lesbian avatar felt so natural to me. There were such intimate conversations there, and I started to feel like I was unlocking conduits (or chakras, or something) in my physical being, and I would sometimes find my Second Life activity allowing me to better explore my taste in clothing, my taste in design, music, TV, etc., and sometimes, it wasn't so much exploration, but lifting any burdens of shame and embarassment about what I had for a long time been interested in. Watching LGBTQ KZbinrs (especially women who are trans and (or) in couples) I could relate to so much and fantasize about have such an intimate relationship with someone. Sometimes, I get butterflies just thinking hearing lesbian love stories, and it's even better than seeing a Lacey Chabert character fall in love in some sappy Hallmark romcom. For almost a year now, I've been starting to incorporate articles of clothing directed toward women into my wardrobe (mail order Uniqlo is such a wonderful thing), and my mom hasn't bothered me about my wardrobe anymore than she doesn't about my clothing from mens' departments. With some exceptions and layering, I usually go for a more fitted top, standard fit pants (chinos, jeans and corduroys), collecting graphic tee's like they're a wearable art collection, flannels, non-flannel plaids, replacing Oxford shirts with off-white button-ups that feel like a cross between nice sheets and flannel, lambswool sweaters, sunglasses that are an homage to Jackie O., Audrey Hepburn, and 90's Cindy Crawford, an artful array of neckties (which I wear to the office when not flair open the top my shirt in a blouse-like fashion, and shoes.... Boots... Last September, my sister's ex-gf and I were just gushing about knee-high socks and over-the knee socks. BTW, my hair is a good deal longer than in my profile. My channel has a recent vid of a '47 Brand unboxing. It still feels cathartic when I shave my face (which sounded odd years ago, but not so much now). Like wiping a thin layer of dust off a shelf.

[@HannahSadie]

Wow, what an awesome story! First of all, thank you for sharing! I had never heard of Second Life before, but it sounds like it was a really perfect space for you to explore more of your identity. Good for you for taking it all head on, and cheers to figuring all this out!

[@kencoleman5007]

@@HannahSadie Thank you. I thin that I'm still figuring it out, but am continuing to make headway. For me, it feels like there's a lot of big decisions that lie ahead I turn out to be without any doubt an mtf who hasn't made those gigantic leaps in biological and bureaucratic transitioning. There's such permanence, and in cases of some people, some HRT regimens caused renal damage. Especially before Second Life (which is like social media crossed with online gaming), I hadn't yet become self-conscious possibly mis-expressing myself to others. As if speaking in front of crowd and not realizing that they have no idea what your words mean. When I created my first avatar (and in SL, you can manifest in multiple ways, animal, vegetable, mineral, etc.), I tried choosing an androgynous avatar that looked accurate enough for my liking. Occasionally, people would think that the avatar was female. Someone who in the tangible world is a lesbian suggested I try representing myself with a lesbian avatar, and it was enlightening to try experiencing the interactions vicariously through my avatar. The sex, kissing, cuddling, and just talking on a cyber couch, There was one relationship with an older woman (a military vet and current corrections officer in Australia) where she shared with me a book on better understanding physical communication, and Anais Nin's "Little Birds". Through our avatars, we'd make out while talking about the books. She's now in a personal relationship with a mutual friend of our's who is closer in distance and age, and I still talk with both of them. Physically dating, it's tortuous, I already deal with social anxiety issues, and problems reading nonverbal cues. Now, for the sake of honesty and transparency, I try explaining my exploring gender identity. One attempt was a long time of online correspondence with a straight woman who I had explained the questioning to, and at the end of our date we hugged, and during the hug, she said "There it is.", and we never heard from one another again. Then, I met someone on Match in December. Her profile presented as straight, and when I explained my questioning, she was all "That's okay, I'm pansexual.", and we would for talk for hours at a time. Direct messages led to texts, which led to phone calls, and our conversations were so deep and open that I could imagine us sharing a space and cuddling as we talked. She was into "Pose", and the ball culture of New York, and androgynous models. One night, she was asking me how many people I had told that I was questioning my gender identity. I told her that it was some friends, some co-workers, my sister, and her ex-gf. The woman who I had been talking to told me that she felt like she'd be living a lie knowing that I wasn't more open with my friends and family. I told a few more family members of my choosing (two LGBTQ aunts that my nephews have on my sister-in-law's side). This woman from RI told me that she felt bad about pressuring me, but wanted to be friends if I wasn't more public about my questioning. We agreed to be friends, but I never heard from her again,. I saw an OKCupid profile of her's come on randomly, and that was expressing her as straight too. I have no idea if that's indicative of issues that she has in her own sense of identity.

[@dreamngo4it943]

Compulsory heteronormativity... it’s so gross! I hate it and that it can be so rampant for some people that it takes us so long to realize we don’t want that!

[@HannahSadie]

Yes- agreed!!! The more I learn from this KZbin community of people speaking to that, the more grateful I become.🙌

[@purplebutterflikisses]

I just started watching your video's and they great by the way. I really like this one. I've wondered how the other person feels when dating bi sexual person. I have this discussion with some of my gay friends and they did if your bi that your gay. What are your thoughts?

[@HannahSadie]

Thanks for watching! Sadie talks a little bit about that at the end of this one- about how the fact that I'm bisexual doesn't affect her much. We are happy and in a monogamous relationship. I've also heard the assumption that bisexual women who date women are gay, and I think that's pretty close-minded. It also contributes to the damaging mindset that sexual orientation is binary. I think it's so much more nuanced than that!

[@mrc2205]

I love athletes. Best bodies.

[@keithwillenson8314]

Maybe it exists already, but you need a calendar of ripped female fire fighters with kittens.

[@terrysbookandbiblereviews]

I think people should just be themselves.

[@reaganwatkins4394]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@HannahSadie]

❤️🥰🥰

[@husseytdh5743]

Dankie dames... Funny how attraction works and how we find different things attractive in people... Can you imagine us all being attracted to the same person.. 🙊... But yeah for me it's hard to define, it's more just something about a person that attracts me, strong personalities are a big attraction, but also not all... Go figure... Ps. Strong muscular legs don't hurt 🤤... 💕🇿🇦...

[@HannahSadie]

You’re right- it makes sense that we all have totally different kinds of attraction because the alternative would be absurd! Totally agree that it’s hard to define. And heck yes muscular legs😍

[@husseytdh5743]

@@HannahSadie Ps. Forgot to add.. Love your vids, it's a joy to watch, good giggle, and thoughtful thoughts... Makes me feel better about how I can't define my attraction... Women... Men..... Dankie dames...

[@HannahSadie]

🥰🥰 We’re with you! We obviously can’t define it either🙈 and thank you thank you🌈

[@husseytdh5743]

@@HannahSadie very glad that you ladies post twice a week... Miss the both of you when you not videoing... Like family if I may put it that way, that has some serious and some not so serious discussions and laughs...

[@musicfunny4388]

I probably am a born lesbian. I realize that I like girls when I am a kindergarten student. The first kiss was wonderful even though I do not remember clearly right now. But I recall from now and then. It was a wonderful experience. Then middle school, primary school, university. I have crushed with many girls. However, I still not understand why. Until recently, I realized that I might be a lesbian. Thanks God. I finally find myself and be come more happy than ever.

[@marygracesobrado4192]

Being bi means u just love who u choose to love regardless of their gender and it doesn’t make u any less of a person or of a lover.

[@AlienoidGamer]

I have a hard time agreeing with you, only because 90% of bisexual people only have relationships with the opposite gender and simply say but I do find the same gender attractive, but that's what it means. People now days change the definitions of things to suit them. If your not sexually attracted to both genders, then your not bisexual.

[@marygracesobrado4192]

Alienoid Gamer agree!! What I’m trying to say is just love who u love if ur heart beats for a man dn go or for woman dn follow ur heart u don’t need to follow a certain path, just love and be with that person that makes ur heart skip a beat.

[@husseytdh5743]

@@marygracesobrado4192 Agreed... Whomever the ❤️ loves and wants...

[@AlienoidGamer]

@@marygracesobrado4192 makes sense to me

[@monicamascardo4233]

When you're in the bed and going to open the daily plan for tom class then the bell buzz up... Watching vs planning... Seriously... Guys.. 😂 😂 😂 😂

[@HannahSadie]

Haha oh no Monica! You could leave it on in the background, radio-style?? THANK YOU for your support!!

[@monicamascardo4233]

Watching won... 😂 😂 😂

[@HannahSadie]

😂 It’s an honor!!

[@micke_mango]

It's interesting how much our perception of the actual words (lingvisticly) mean for our reasoning in these matters. Regarding masculin/feminine... Clearly "feminine" almost always have an entirely positive connotation, for example in the phrase "in touch with his feminine side". We're basically saying "although he is male, he is actually quite a decent human, because he can reason about feelings (his own) and he is also nurturing, caring and kind and can empathize with other people's feelings". That also implies, that the word "masculine" does not include those properties, although men can have the properties. So the word "masculine" most often has only negative connotation, especially if you don't consider purely physical/biological properties. Personally, the last few years, I started feeling that there is no positive connotation at all to masculinity. I of course realize that many people would not agree with this, but I still think that our collective perception of this word is gradually changing in that direction.

[@HannahSadie]

Michael I think your comment is really interesting and worth more conversation! I think that you're right- the word "feminine" often has a positive connotation. That being said, it is not always that way for non-cis or non-heterosexual people. Of course, "toxic masculinity" has become a more and more common phrase, and is also extremely relevant here. I can't help but think that the more people understand that gender is a social construct, the more the linguistic connotations of these words will change for the better!

[@hmmcms1]

Yall should look up Shannon Beveridge's (@nowthisisliving online) video called Apples vs Bananas its about bisexuality its great!

[@HannahSadie]

Thank you so much for this tip- what a great video!!

[@hmmcms1]

@@HannahSadie theres actually 2! One called apples vs bananas made 6 yrs ago before she got big on KZbin and another explaining bi sexuality which she made a yr ago to re-discuss the same thing😊

[@HannahSadie]

@@hmmcms1 Oh man I have to go find the second one!!

[@Frybyte]

what about a 30+ year difference? Most of the time I think (and wish it weren't so) that a 'hugh' age difference (and this is not a gendered issue for me) is a no no.?????

[@purpleeuphoric8917]

Is their hormones that can cause you to feel attracted to boys men if you are straight and like women is that possible I am straight but find pictures of boys men as attractive and got thoughts abou t banging them being on top of them and also it could be hormones that cause it I always thought men went through a menopause where their hormones went crazy and also they went into heat hormonal heat where their hormones .

[@lucyellis6016]

Y’all should do vlogs??

[@HannahSadie]

Yes! Coming soon😊

[@greggoett]

You didn't answer, Hilary Swank HOT or not? :-) Hot.. for the reason you explained, Strong Healthy. I could pick apart details of her face , other.. but as a whole it ALL works. In a strong healthy person. Also.. took me 2 watches to see that the coasters are an H and S. Another video... does Hillary Swank get a "hall pass" for either of you?

[@HannahSadie]

Ha!! Good point- we forgot to comment! Hannah here- in the last couple days I've learned that we were hinting on the identity of demisexuality in our video, so I guess I'd answer that Hilary Swank is probably hot but I'd probably need to get to know her first😂

[@bigred0079]

you don't define you're sexuality, your sexuality defines you.

[@jaimedarling6716]

Put what..? Put what...?

[@mrc2205]

Sadie. Question. How did you decide you were gay as apposed to bi. Because you had just left a man. Most women think they are bi first I think after being straight. I did. Just curious how you decided that you were gay? I know for me it took a while for me to realise that I wouldn’t want to go back to a man. I hope that isn’t too personal.

[@staceymarshall2711]

I want too be the person that person that brings you soup when your sick. I want 2 love you will you let me? Is the question

[@user-ue9rq3ps6u]

you guys are so cute~please do some videos like truth or drink~it would be funny too~

[@HannahSadie]

Thank you! I've seen some really funny videos of truth or drink! I'm not much of a drinker so I guess that would have to mean I'm choosing truth the whole time😂