What Is Social Skills Therapy (And Do Autistic People Need It?) [CC]

The clip I used is from this interview - • Hannah Gadsby Doesn't ...
My start over guide - www.disabledautisticlesbian.c...
My original ABA video - • Thoughts On ABA (Appli...
My new ABA video - • ABA is abuse... right?...
The book I talked about - www.amazon.com/Asperkids-Secr...
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Autism Resources:
Ultimate resource guide - www.disabledautisticlesbian.c...
How to support an autistic person - www.disabledautisticlesbian.c...
Help! I think I’m autistic - www.disabledautisticlesbian.c...
Unmasking/How to Start Over - www.disabledautisticlesbian.c...
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Buy me a smoothie! - www.paypal.com/paypalme/sydne...
Check out my merch! - www.disabledautisticlesbian.c...
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Start Over (Album) - li.sten.to/start-over
The Confused Linguist (Album) - li.sten.to/the-confused-linguist
Find me on Bandcamp - sydneyzarlengo.bandcamp.com/m...
Check out my #ActuallyAutistic playlist made of entirely autistic artists!
open.spotify.com/playlist/3gI...
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Hello my dears!
My name is Sydney and I’m an actress/singer-songwriter who writes music about my experiences being autistic, disabled, gay, and in general, a human. My goal is to fill musical gaps and write about things people often forget to make music about. I’m also a vintage enthusiast and disability advocate (among other things). I’ve now released 3 albums and, most importantly, my favorite color is buttercup yellow.
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Email - [e-mail]
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[@ratsandpets1133]

Yeah I call it “speaking neurotypical” like speaking a foreign language. Sometimes even verbal communication I call a second language. It helps my self esteem that way because the thought of “masking” all day at work makes me feel low and creepy. But plenty of people speak a non native language even at high jargon career fields! Yay loop hole for sanity! 🎉

[@stuart959]

I very much appricate your final statements. Please keep fighting for universal social training. If we had that perhaps mental illnesses could identified and treated at a younger age and societal health would improve.

[@OurHourglass]

I think it was #3 in this series that was just recommended to me, and I clicked it because I thought it said "Auntie's Guide to Neurotypical Social Skills," and I wanted to know what an "Auntie's Guide" would be like because it sounded comforting. Anywho, realizing it didn't say "Auntie" and watching it anyway because hi.

[@carolinearthur6628]

Thanks for making this. You're making great content for people to learn with and share with others that need some clarity in these areas. Much appreciated !!

[@juniormako6184]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@xxBreakxxAwayxx3]

Love this!! Thank you for your humor and compassion. I think you handled all the nuance here so elegantly and with patience. I agree that neurotypical is an assumed ideal, not a real state of being or biology. There is no single "normal" template, only the cultural expectation of who gets what support and why. There are a ton of sneaky ways that ND needs have become mainstream or "appropriate." I agree that the best way to think of it really is as a new language and not as a deficit! We empathize and find safety in our own ways too.

[@aspidoscelis]

I've been reading the PEERS curriculum. It makes my skin crawl. There's a repeated "inappropriate role-play" segment in which the instructor pretends to be autistic and asks both before and after the interaction, "What am I doing / did I do wrong?" OK, my behavior is wrong. Always. Got it. Then there are "perspective taking questions" where you realize, after a while, that the perspective of an autistic person / of the instructor who is pretending to be autistic *is* *never* *discussed* *or* *acknowledged.* So, not only is the instructor telling the class that their viewpoint doesn't matter, it's being done in an indirect, passive-aggressive way that they are especially likely to find confusing and/or alienating. My behavior is wrong and how I feel doesn't matter. Great!

[@NinaGothMambaNegra]

THIS. I had this feeling after watching Dug Days episode 5. How it's framed as Dug having a problem (not understanding) sharing, when in reality, they should have teached the bird and squirrel how to ask for things regardless of how much they need them. They get the "I DESERVE it" and they apply the double emplathy problem to convince Dug that he's the one being selfish and also they get to blame him for the accomodations that he has and clealy needs. That's corrective and conditioning. Both the kid and the old man could have made multiple sandwiches to share, but after eating theirs, they gave only 1 sandwich to the dog, and the dog was supposed to share that with the bird and squirrel, meaning, he gave it away and have no food for the day and was called a good boy. And he was supposed to learn that via multiple stressful scenarios. He didn't learn how to share because he had no problem understanding boundaries and property. What he learnt was to submit to a coordinated narrative. He understood his role in that social setting which was to "protect the house" and "make their day". This is what always got me in trouble every time because I refuse to stand down and be silenced. Perspective for them equals power plays, not expansive experiences. Over the years I turn the paranoia and hypervigilance that this situations gave me, into a way of documenting stuff, recording, tracking stuff, etc, enhancing analitics and thought processing. Not stalker like when the person gets obessed over an individual. But I sure developed a special interest for behavior, psychology stuff, that lead me into coaching/nlp (before I realized they were scams). And now I expanded those topics by learning about domestic abuse, toxic behavior, mechanism of control, capitalism, etc. All because "normal" people are socialized on the basis of power (motivation) and not applicability (problem solving). So yeah, thanks for making this point because is 100% real and accurate. Perspective, as a hegemonic narrative along with common sense, will be used for those in power to exercise control. Never stop advocating for your own perspective and experience!

[@GuthD]

That's exactly how I get treated at work, my thoughts are mostly dismissed even though I'm correct more often than not.

[@FirstmaninRome]

wow, great video, you are a natural at this.

[@juniormako6184]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@haroldgifford852]

Good video! 👍 Very informative and good presentation! I'm going to show this video to other people.

[@juniormako6184]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@logann-mackenziefroste563]

Awesome video 💯‼️also your room looks good I don’t notice any kind of a tilt. 😅 I am ADHD but noticing those little differences in a room an autistic trait ?

[@warrenrobinson1525]

Interesting information, great hair. Your talk might benefit from slowing down your delivery with short gaps in your delivery so the listener doesn’t fatigue quickly. 😊

[@KitKat_293]

one thing i would love to see integrated is "not black and white assuming every person labeled by teachers and doctors as neurotypical and not labeled autistic is indeed neurotypical". it's a decent baseline assumption but should come with the wiggle room of "they might be more like me than I or anyone else realizes, so I can keep that in mind when figuring out their social styles". too often many of an autistic persons peers are just other undiagnosed autists or are operating with another neurodivergence that intensely impacts their social differences. this is especially true for an autistic persons friends and family as we tend to come in packs lol. i've definitely felt disheartened and frustrated when autistic people think i don't know what being neurodivergent feels like as a massive difference in my entire body and mind and think i just have some forgetfulness quirks but otherwise enjoy life as a neurotypical. i do have these differences but have found complex ways to work around them and blend it. of course being able to mask effectively is a privilege in itself, but it's an exhausting draining way of living that impairs me in ways even others on the spectrum occasionally shrug off as "neurotypical".

[@stardust3030]

Looking forward to the series! :) (And just a short question. Would you perhaps consider putting longer quotations on screen as text? It's just that I find it really difficult to keep up with long sentences/paragraphs, especially when they are in written language. And the captions are really helpful, but they only ever capture one fragment at a time. The transcript is a little better for that but still somewhat suboptimal, but I could live with it of course. I just had that idea and wanted to share it. But I totally understand if you aren't sure how to implement that/it's too much work or anything else, no worries. I already really appreciate the captions! :) )

[@disabled.autistic.lesbian]

Yes! I can't quite remember my reasoning for not doing that in this video but I typically do - will keep in mind for the future though :)

[@stardust3030]

@@disabled.autistic.lesbian Awesome :)

[@juniormako6184]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@MC-tl5bf]

good video

[@jennifermems1111]

Only Italian and only English? Right after you come back from Italy? And all of the responsibility is put on the English speaker? I'm not saying anything more, just anticipating the song.

[@disabled.autistic.lesbian]

Hahahaha unfortunately that scenario is not based on real experience, so no song to come, but my brain was like "what is a non-English language that exists for this example?" and it decided Italian because that's the most recent one I've used :)

[@juniormako6184]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@gracep2910]

I was onboard until the anti-ABA drivel. I’m autistic and so is my sister. I watched ABA give my sister a voice- now she can actually ask for what she wants. Just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean it’s evil.

[@melodyrichardson5051]

You don't have to agree with her, but she is entitled to her opinion.