Therapy for Autistic Adults (It's NOT ABA)

If you've gone this long without therapy, why pursue it now?
I'm Tay, a mom of two who was diagnosed with autism at 31 years of age. Therapy is helping me identify my sensory needs and anticipate how to take care of myself before hitting burnout. I have fewer meltdowns, more energy, more confidence, which overall makes me feel HAPPIER and more comfortable in my skin.
Today I'm sharing challenges you'll likely face on the road to finding a therapist and how you can advocate for yourself to get the support you need.
***EDIT: Since posting this video, I have learned more about the horrific origins of the term "aspergers" and have since stopped using this term as well as "aspie" which is a derivation of the word, and renamed my channel. In future videos I will make sure to address this issue when referencing any materials that use this term. If you are interested in learning more about the origins of this term, please be warned that you will be reading very upsetting information regarding TRIGGER WARNING child violence.
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FIND A PROVIDER
www.psychologytoday.com
ONLINE THERAPY
www.talkspace.com/
www.healthline.com/health/our...
MY ASPIE SELF CARE BIBLE
Who You Were Meant To Be by Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson
www.amazon.com/Who-You-Were-M...
DFW ADULT AUTISM PSYCHOLOGIST
Dr. Jennifer Williams
www.spectruspsych.com/
COLORADO TESTING/EVALUATION PSYCHOLOGIST
Dr. Laura Sanders
nocoassessmentcenter.com/
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You won't find me on Facebook or Instagram (my mental health is much better without them). But I'd love to start a conversation with you in the comments below. If you have received therapy - what have you learned that could be helpful to others in the autism community?
Thanks for watching!
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[@sarcodonblue2876]

I tried 20 therapists in 20 years and found 1 that was good. Most just tell you useless things and couldn't help me at all. I found more help looking after my physical health .

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

From what I understand, things have come a long way since you started and there are resources now like Psychological Therapy for Autistic Adults by the Authentic Research Collective to help therapists that aren't specialists to better serve our community. Personally, I found group therapy in a mixed-diagnosis group was very helpful. I did absolutely none of the assigned work, but just seeing how NTs work through things was rather helpful in terms of identifying circuits that seemed to be offline for one reason or another. Unfortunately, because I didn't know I was ASD at the time, I used the information to more effectively mask, rather than to recognize when I needed to do things differently for myself. But, I did develop some more useful skills as well that have helped improve my life.

[@CatholicOnTheSpectrum]

The best therapy I’ve ever had is a neurodivergent affirming therapist who is also autistic. I have had therapy for many years before figuring out that I’m autistic and it didn’t do much. The new one knows the issues and how to practically handle them.

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

I'm hoping to get something similar in the future. I had a great psychiatrist years ago when I was dealing with what appeared to be schizoaffective disorder. I don't know if he realized that there was something else going on there, or if he just trusted his patients enough to communicate with us in ways that best suited us, rather than the normal doctor talk. But, it makes a huge difference when the provider makes the effort to communicate in ways that are better suited to the patient.

[@bluebird2027]

0:02:20 I can really relate to the getting caught up in one's own head. The thinking things through, over thinking, processing...

[@williame.sweetmd8588]

Thank you for your recommendation of “who you were meant to be”. I am struggling to discover that after 30 years of practice as a Family Physician, having counseled others for thousands of hours… but not knowing why life was so difficult for me. Diagnosed at age 64…now about 8 months into it. Your personal clarity has been of immense assistance. I have not yet found a therapist who knows Autism.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

That book changed my life! Also you can find a list of providers who understand the autistic community in my Big Autistic Resource guide. MomOnTheSpectrum.life/resources

[@dragonslayerslayerdragon5077]

We can save everyone but ourselves...or can we? 🧐

[@whitneymason406]

I've had the same therapist since 8th grade and I'm now 30. Even though I've moved a couple of times we still do therapy via telehealth. I know I could find a new therapist but I feel like mine gets me 100% and that is really important!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Definitely! So valuable to find a therapist you connect with.

[@4everpee]

Neurofeedback and medication for anxiety is my go to.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

neurofeedback is very interesting to me! i did some of it in college and wish I had the opportunity to pursue it more now

[@dragonslayerslayerdragon5077]

I like to walk out to a spot in the grass, drop to my knees w/my hands behind my back and plant my face in the dirt, then just breath and work on becoming more comfortable. So far, I'm my own therapist but that won't work for most people... Try talking to yourself, out loud and dealing with your stressors out loud. Looking around, the eye movement, helps stimulate the mind for problem solving better than our indoor distractions. I'm rooting for us all! I believe in you and me too! 🫠👍😉

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💜

[@GreyLynn01]

Any advice for those that cant afford therapy... even with insurance?

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

Join one of the many ASD related fora and groups. You won't get "medical advice" there because most folks aren't certified to begin with and if they are certified their insurance likely doesn't cover such interactions. But, there are a ton of things that you can do that will make a difference, even without therapy and there's a ton of lived experience about what seems to work and what doesn't. For those of us that are on the older side, I'm in my early 40s, and when I was originally evaluated, there really wasn't much available in terms of help, and virtually none of it required a diagnosis. Just giving yourself the space and permission to learn how to effectively stim will likely make a massive difference. The same goes for letting yourself organize and engineer your living areas to better suit your needs rather than for social approval of anybody that comes by.

[@dragonslayerslayerdragon5077]

I like to walk out to a spot in the grass, drop to my knees w/my hands behind my back and plant my face in the dirt, then just breath and work on becoming more comfortable. So far, I'm my own therapist but that won't work for most people... Try talking to yourself, out loud and dealing with your stressors out loud. Looking around, the eye movement, helps stimulate the mind for problem solving better than our indoor distractions. I'm rooting for us all! I believe in you and me too! 🫠👍😉 This is just one of many things that I do. If you make your question more specific, I could think about it.

[@lovinglife3954]

I had a good therapist for about 7-8 years until she retired. I have not looked for another. A family member needed one and never found one locally that he connected with, found several locally that were such idiots, truly, that it turned him off to trying again. I love your videos but I really hate when people say "it's a gift" whether talking about autism or ADHD. It just makes me mad. A family member has "high functioning" autism and has felt so disconnected from the world that it has severely impacted his mental health and life. School was a disaster, even with an IEP and supposed accommodations in a high ranking school system. I would have paid almost anything to take it away from him. Not a gift.

[@heatonhelp9415]

#teamtherapy

[@MomontheSpectrum]

fo sho

[@MacChicken-up2rl]

I have medical though so I can’t pay for a psychotherapist

[@dianewillis6739]

What if you have no medical insurance? What are your options? If you don’t have a full-time job, where and how do you get insurance to provide help?

[@stephanieherman2861]

It sounded to me like the therapist did a lot of validation on you and that made you feel better. Apart from that, did he help in any other way?

[@Paula_Limberg]

Hi! I'm a Christian. When looking for a therapist, do you think it's important that therapist align with me on that, that is, also be a Christian? It would be great to have someone help me sort through my deep thoughts, but if they're advising me seriously and influencing my thoughts, I wonder if that would be important.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Great question! I really think the best solution is to trust your gut. A trained therapist should be able to put aside any religious affiliations and stay impartial. You can always switch to another therapist if you feel like it’s a good fit. I’ve seen a Christian therapist before, and in my experience I’ve kind of appreciated a therapist from a non-specified religion just as much or more (I try not to make comparisons) bc I feel like everything is just a completely open playing field and there are no pre-conceived ideas about where I should or shouldn’t be directing my thought. I hope this helps. At the end of the day, you know what you need more than anyone else does! Sounds like a Christian therapist might be important to you.

[@Paula_Limberg]

@@MomontheSpectrum thanks, that makes sense too! I appreciate your response and will keep this in mind!

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

Probably not, although they shouldn't be making recommendations that would violate your personal beliefs. Most of the things done in therapy are either nondenominational or secular. It may be somewhat helpful to have somebody of a similar mindset in terms of explaining things in a way that's more consistent with your upbringing, but chances are that your upbringing hasn't been super helpful in dealing with these particular issues anyways as only a very small portion of Christians have ASD. There can be significant value in terms of getting an outsider perspective on things. A good therapist of any religious background should be capable of setting aside their personal prejudices to help the client get the outcome they want.

[@aliveslice]

2:14 3:20 4:40

[@MootElm]

Your kids look like a copy of your ex husband, wow, he must have strong genes..

[@1ReikiFloW]

Therapist aka the rapist, same letters not by chance 😳! Clinical eft techniques and eating as nature made us to aka vegan. What you see as problems become useful traits. Some of us know our stuff and are willing to share for free as the great creator always intended. Much love!

[@Medietos]

In what way would you have autism? Do you mean Aspergers? It is not being in one's head, over-thinking etc and High Sensitivity is also not Autism/Aspergers. Bad for us who really have it when the diagnosis hets hijacked and used by othr people. We may get disbelieved and go without the help we were pomised before doing the evaluation hell. How much does your therapist and the online one cost, if you dont mind saying? And what method(s) do they use? What about us moneyless, insuranceless traumatized Aspergers?

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I have a video about the full evaluation process I went through if you're interested in learning more: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZ_WoKKtncxgoaM

[@EclecticallyEccentric]

Maybe don't doubt someone else's neurodivergence when you've only seen them through video.

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

You do realize that just because there was no research done on high masking individuals until the last 25 years, doesn't mean that we don't exist, right? Also, keep in mind that this video is less than 7 minutes long, with editing and enough practice a good chunk of people can put out something that appears this natural, we don't see how things were going for her before or after the video. And this really applies to everybody on KZbin, we just see what folks are willing to share, we don't know how honest any of them are being in terms of what they show versus reality. I know that nobody thinks ASD when they meet me, including psychologists, psychiatrists and people that work with people with learning disorders and special needs at school. I've literally worked with autistic people and if any of those people thought I was, none of them mentioned it to me. ASD people with exceptional IQs and masking abilities do exist and it's not super-helpful to have people questioning our credentials based on what we show during pre-recorded videos.

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

@@EclecticallyEccentric Yes, and I'd extend that to basically everybody's experiences. Nobody is completely authentic in videos, no matter how hard they try, it's just very hard for people to encapsulate who they are in videos that are so short. Even the longest videos tend to be too short for that level of authenticity.

[@rrrqqqrrr]

Aspergers is not in the DSM-5 in the U.S.. Plus, that classification of autism was named after a Nazi.... so we should try and stray away from using that term!