What is the Caregiver's Dilemma | Janet Fouts | TEDxBeaconStreet

[@garyrumbaugh2917]

Taking a 'pause', to me, seemed natural. As a caregiver for my now departed wife for 4yrs, suffering with dementia, screaming into a pillow was the best stress reliever I found.

[@summawub]

Why do we get all these people telling us to care for ourselves but no one talking about how we need support from those who are not caregivers and legislation that recognizes and supports us?

[@neshayrobinson]

I've been a caregiver to my daughter for 9 yrs already... it is exhausting. Having someone physically depend on you for everything can be depressing at times..especially if they are nonverbal. Now you're reading her mind on top of picking her up all day and catering to medical needs like a CNA/LPN.... I felt all the emotions in this video but more importantly... I'm just grateful my little one gets to see another day that we were not promised. I always try to keep that at the center. Yes, I'm tired but I'm learning to care for self before anyone else.. and also learning to care for my future loved ones, one day. Something I've never done or thought I'd learn before knowing her.. but the dilemma is hard. How do we do both? Start with you first and then handle your business? Even if that means starting early or taking breaks just for YOU throughout the day.. but always remember to BREATHE through the pain, and frustration. Wishing everyone peace of mind so they can get through whatever it is. We all have problems, no doubt. Even if not bigger than the next person's, it still matters that you acknowledge. Take care everyone ❤

[@selinak8704]

Wish you many happy and easy days beyond

[@lunarious87]

i think Earth is Father Earth not Mother Earth. Like BREATHING. Meditation and Yoga can not be all about Breathing and Functionality. There is transmission from Heart to Heart. When the voice is Heard and Hearts are close. You and your Daughter are one unit. A family. Cornersone of society ... This is how i see it.

[@neshayrobinson]

@@lunarious87 very interesting perspective. I will try to think of it that way.. and so funny you wrote this because the other day I had a mini epiphany that I was looking at our situation all wrong... it is about the HEART to HEART (at the core of this)..not just about "meditation" "breathing" or whatever people consider yoga... and for her... she knows nothing about these things because she doesn't have to, she is already present + open to receive... her life is based on LOVE + I need to align myself with her more often. Thank you for your words

[@neshayrobinson]

@@selinak8704 Thank you + You as well

[@corabiz08]

I have been a caregiver to my daughter for 4 years now as well, she is also no mobile and nonverbal. I agree 100% with your post, and I thank you for sharing your idea of just being grateful for an extra day with her. It can be easy to get sucked into the stress of therapies and care and forget to remember each day with her is an extra gift 🎁

[@marquepoolejewer9427]

I had a breakdown, watching my mom... but- it's been totally worth it.🥰🙏

[@Lionesse-z41553]

Yes. I know exactly what you mean. 💜

[@Lionesse-z41553]

@Aesthetic Beauty by Sylvia 💗💗💗

[@JanetFouts]

It's so very hard, many of the caregivers I've talked to went through much more than I did. Sending you a big hug Marque

[@marquepoolejewer9427]

@@JanetFouts thank you, Janet.. I took that hug in! 🙏😊

[@dalcloud8873]

We're stronger, smarter and more capable than we think or believe.

[@JanetFouts]

@April Showers You're both right!

[@sandran9340]

I'm glad mindfulness works for so many of you but when I tried mindfulness meditation, it left me feeling more stressed and depressed. The only pause that has helped me is getting respite care whenever possible. When it's not, which is most of the time, mantra meditation for five minutes works better for me than mindfulness.

[@JanetFouts]

I understand Sandra, I felt the same way when I first started learning and it was so frustrating until I stopped thinking it would "fix" everything overnight. Regular practice and some of the ones mentioned here helped me get my life back. I'm happy to hear that respite is giving you some...respite! If 5 minutes of mantra meditation helps too, that's great.

[@gixellia8455]

I'm an Occupational Therapist, worked for many years in geriatric care (nursing homes, home care). There are people who simply are not good caregivers. Nothing wrong with that. Not every person is made to provide care for another person.

[@JanetFouts]

True. Not everyone can do it, some definitely don't want to do the hard work, or can't handle it. It is definitely not an easy task.

[@corabiz08]

Truly inspired message. I can hear the peace in your voice, thank you for teaching me!

[@JanetFouts]

Thank you so much Rachel!

[@jorgeromera3861]

My mother has Alzheimer's disease. Living with her and looking after her has taught me a bunch of things I didn't know about me. Not all of them are good. Many people live their lives having a self image which is far from matching reality. How lucky they are without even knowing. Alzheimer is a behemoth of an illness, a truly juggernaut. It eventually destroys the sick person's brain and the carer's soul. It is a battle you do know you will never win. But you have to fight. Maybe there lies the epic of that gigantic, Sisyphean task. And the beauty? The beauty is hidden in the love you need to resist until the end.

[@JanetFouts]

Alzheimer's is an incredibly difficult disease. So hard on everyone and it's heartbreaking to hear the stories. I'm sorry Jorge.

[@jorgeromera3861]

Thanks so much, Janet. I appreciate your words.

[@Blessedup69]

Love thy self Love thy neighbor Love thy brother

[@delondadelony462]

Thank you for A Simple Solution....it definitely won't solve all of our problems, but This Mindfulness can certainly help❤

[@JanetFouts]

Absolutely Delonda, Mindfulness helps us be more resilient and better able to handle all that life throws at us!

[@jasond.healerlynch5255]

We lost our mother to pancreatic cancer in April '06. I, being a 15 year nurse assistant / registered MT at the time, I do really feel you, Blessup🙏

[@Blessedup69]

Hi

[@dineshdinesh-oq9xt]

May god bless you 🙏❤️👍

[@JanetFouts]

I'm sorry for your loss Jason. Hugs to you and your family.

[@SuperPsyched]

Excellent talk, Janet!

[@antanz1967]

Thank you for sharing...

[@maxkurant1470]

Wow, such a powerful talk. It reminds me of a line from a poem by Neil Hilborn that I always turn to when everything around me feels so hard to go through. “Build a house, even if all the walls lean to the left. Love it anyway.”

[@JanetFouts]

Thank you Max. Love it all, just as it is. 😊

[@sampreston1791]

It's a lot like the zen poem "the song of the grass roofed hermitage". It might not be perfect but it's home

[@1.5Koreans0.5American]

We are strong and we can do this

[@JanetFouts]

YES!!!

[@Lionesse-z41553]

I love this talk so much. I have been there. We had in home care, but I was STILL snowed under, trying to manage everything. Still, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

[@JanetFouts]

💗

[@saltywisdom]

Had a little cry listening to this, I too found a mindfulness course (Kain Ramsey’s) helped me incredibly and from there I studied NLP and life coaching, it got me through 4 years of caregiving. The burn out and not dealing with your own medical issues is a real thing, excellent information.. breath and just be.. a valuable tool.

[@JanetFouts]

Oh, I've seen Kain's courses, very helpful indeed! I'm glad you found this useful too :-)

[@TalkAccelerator]

Your idea inspires caregivers!

[@sarvarnarzullayev5344]

Thank you so much 🙂🙂

[@hissendaud653]

Thanks so much

[@aikinskonadu3919]

Hello dear Thank you very much dear

[@StatchanaReborn]

Thank you

[@Allergictocatstoo]

Thank you for this!

[@bukurie6861]

God bless all women that are disease ...And a day to s😍❤m😍❤i😍❤l😍❤e 💑o💑n💑l💑y 💑and their f👭a👫m🙎i👪l👬y💑💑👋!

[@Angela-je8rs]

Gracias. Muy útil.

[@em.c9093]

Listening to you in this video was definitely my little moment : ) thank you for the reminder👍❤🙏

[@JanetFouts]

Aw, thank you! We need those little moments don't we?

[@em.c9093]

@@JanetFouts we sure do : )

[@yliu1]

Tears right after first couple of sentences. Me being a mom😭😭

[@giftedgreen2152]

Hahahahaha

[@titanicgirl774]

@April Showers they are making fun of the point the original comment specified that they are a mother. This person replying has no idea and so they mock it.

[@BrianBetron]

What a wonderful speaker, even at 1.5x speed. :)

[@JanetFouts]

ha ha! thank you

[@Adham_tarek]

To learn English ,guys, you should only do one thing. you should practice. Yaeh practice try to go back in time and imagine yourself as a baby. How could you learn your mother language? By listening, right Listening and trying to speak. try and make mistakes. it's fine, But in the end i promise you. you will do it

[@boredfangerrude]

Her voice is just so damn soothing!

[@Cdre_Satori]

I like metaphor of bottle, you can pour to everyone around you, but at some point you need to get up and go fill the bottle again, and even pour yourself a glass so you dont die of thirst. No bottle can keep pouring without reffilling.

[@charliemoore4677]

It’s a new year with bright and beautiful ideals , hope you’ll got a huge list for this 2021 . Coz last year was messed up due to many weren’t wise enough to consider investment . But the question, what will you achieve this year?

[@wilsonjoe7992]

Nothing other than the gift of life. And I have consider venturing into something lucrative and profitable , last year was a lesson to everyone especially me . Well seeing 2021 is enough reason to sit down and think about your financial life .

[@jacobfelix9125]

I almost slept at the streets last year when my rent was due 😭 but thanks to a friend who introduced me to Dr Lydia Virginia Woodruff ,a financial adviser.

[@marshaljames2766]

Dr Lydia Virginia Woodruff is holding a very high prestige and reputation in personal financial management. I’m happy you mentioned her. My wife recommended her to me after investing 3 grand and she really helped us in times of this bad pandemic crisis. I’m close to my retirement and this has been and well remain a good survival for me

[@marshaljames2766]

She trades cryptocurrency more especially bitcoin for her clients. Making them profits and having commission for that.

[@rickygutierrez7265]

People are scared of investing because of high rate of unprofessionals in the business.

[@dhruvtravadi5599]

Pause gave me goosebumps.

[@cricket.669]

I am strong💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

[@haawamuuse9970]

Thnkz

[@kimberly5946]

I ❤this gal

[@JanetFouts]

Aw, thank you

[@rjslife]

I Die or share with the right direction

[@rjslife]

It's as big as Britain is in on it and others as well

[@sergioeddymurphy6092]

Janet you is Beautiful Woman.

[@nectarshrub]

???????😂

[@titanicgirl774]

@@nectarshrub tf you don’t understand?

[@nectarshrub]

@@titanicgirl774 Rosie chill ✋🏻

[@Veronicaa2]

I want to be a speaker some day

[@miss.marjan1869]

God willing

[@lunarious87]

Yes, Inshallah ... Do you want to make videoes and upload to youtube?

[@miss.marjan1869]

@@lunarious87 i want but i can not speak prefect

[@lunarious87]

@@miss.marjan1869 The "Form" and Form-at is KZbin. KZbin can speak English. But You in Your video you can speak your own language. ... You can find help to make video on youtube. It is easy. If you have The Tools it is easy :) ... I can maybe help you. Where are you from?

[@lunarious87]

I will sleep now. It is beyond mid-night here. No I'm lying :P Soon though.

[@masyentv4143]

Waw I like youu😁

[@koleenhansen9888]

I'm sorry and I agree with you but when you care get my providers I live in a group home with disabilities open multiple houses it wears them out it's not a smart thing yes it is not a smart thing to open multiple group homes I repeat it's not smart I have been and really bad as a client in bad situations because they didn't think if you thinking about owning a group home think about how the clients I'm going to live their daily life it's your job to help them you're getting paid for it if they're not getting the services or if they're not happy and you're doing it wrong you're being tired all the time then obviously you're not setting it up right for yourself

[@بيتكاحليمعديدى]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@miss.marjan1869]

I am not the first😭😭☹☹

[@lunarious87]

Question. Do you mind telling me about my under-standing of mind-fullness? I think as The Qur'an and appearently Buddhism suggests I should be *empty* (of energy) and in Muslim terms *surrendering and submitting* and adopting Forms to our Essence.

[@lunarious87]

I reject "Pause" for me. Because for me, it feels like acting. I call myself Royal Guard with Islamic Prayer and Karate as Background, this is not acting.

[@JanetFouts]

The mindfulness I teach is simply about being aware in this moment. Almost all formal religions have some form of teaching that can be relatable.

[@lunarious87]

@@JanetFouts Circular Religions are different from Linear Religions grossly.

[@sprinkleberry1271]

I cant tell if the background is fake or not

[@ahki-adhamash-shakur7723]

It is

[@titanicgirl774]

Yes you can 🙄

[@bluesdirt6555]

Me either

[@smoothfrequency558]

What is woo-woo?

[@someonerandom6379]

It’s a word for something seemingly New age’ ...’hippyish’.....

[@yoso585]

Well, anything that supposes the supernatural can be considered woo-woo too.

[@titanicgirl774]

@@someonerandom6379 how can new age and hippieish be synonymous? They’re literally two separate ideals

[@giftedgreen2152]

Yay!!!!! Another lady giving a Ted Talk. Keep the emotions coming.

[@lunarious87]

Are you ... passive-agressive?

[@giftedgreen2152]

This channel has fallen further than the Catholic Church.

[@lunarious87]

@@giftedgreen2152 No. Please.

[@MolemanSA]

Are you actually trolling a TED Talk comment section with hilariously impotent attempts to mansplain? Clearly, you’ve got a lot of successful things going on in life, champ.

[@titanicgirl774]

@@MolemanSA what??

[@rjslife]

We are the tru north we have the world's biggest magnetic pull

[@СветланаКурко-н3д]

!!!😍❤❤❤❤

[@imanetassoudali2831]

Frist one

[@toninadomanico2210]

Pourquoi vous parler pas en francais

[@Veronicaa2]

First

[@_waleedsultan5301]

اللهم أنى أسألك بنور وجهك الكريم وبحق أسمك العظيم أن ترزق كل أخت وأخ وكل من يشترك فى قناتى فرحه ورزق يسجد لهم باكيا وأن تحقق لهم أحلامهم وترحم والديهم وتشرح صدورهم اللهم أنك أنت القادر على ذالك وأنت الكريم اللهم أمين

[@lunarious87]

احسنت ... كلام به نقطة مخيفة (اخاف المجهول انا)

[@zeinaba_j8676]

@@lunarious87 هاي اخذي فرة بقناتي واذا عجبتج اشتركي بيه واني اشترك همين بليز مصدر رزقي الوحيد💕

[@lunarious87]

@@zeinaba_j8676 ان شاء الله خير راح اشترك اول و بعدين اشوف، امي تتابع نساء مصريات :) سوف اخبرها

[@rjslife]

I no longer playing this game now my people can hunt

[@lunarious87]

What do you mean?

[@siyaindagulag.]

I get that...go forward !

[@lunarious87]

Awakening is limitless

[@rjslife]

Queens pe

[@abdisalammohamed7739]

50$ can save my life!😰😥😥 i need hospital😭

[@lunarious87]

Pray

[@giftedgreen2152]

You’re not mindful, mindfulness is achieved by separating emotion from logic.

[@lunarious87]

I "think" this is True ... but she is separating emotion from logic

[@noellewithane6111]

Huh

[@boredfangerrude]

Mindfulness is being aware of one's self, whether that be realizing you're acting irrationally due to emotion or because you're being over logical. Also, reason and logic are intertwined, you cannot fully separate them, nor should you. Some logic is only possible due to emotion and some emotion like calmness can only be possible due to logic.

[@boredfangerrude]

@@JanetFouts The problem with that definition is that it means you are unaware of a significant amount that you SHOULD be aware of. With my definition, it incorporates that and much, much more so it helps you more.

[@giftedgreen2152]

Janet Fouts you can't have an abundance of emotions and be mindful. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.