What is The Grey Rock Technique?

To find out more about Debbie's books, online-courses, healing music, and coaching, click here: www.debbiemirza.com/

[@shellymichelle2719]

Yes the gray rock. It just dawned on me after watching your video yesterday. It's like God told me recently... just stay quiet around them and don't talk much so they won't have an opportunity to wound. And "we don't always have to be giving and nurturing around these people; we can just be". That's excellent!

[@ghophuckurselves3562]

I thought by being loving and dedicated to this person that I would bring them to life. The opposite happened! My love and life was sucked out until I decided to leave them. As soon as I found my way down the road, there she was, at my door. Contrite, crying asking for another chance. I fell for it, and six months later I was devalued and dumped. I had to move from east to west coast, and im now no contact 4 months. After a 10 year relationship, im still having dreams,nightmares rather.But the urges are subsided, you have helped so much. Thanks for all you do!! You are so great at what you do.

[@acanarynamedrobyn4543]

Music N Stuff me too.

[@SD-qz9yh]

This is so bang on... shutting off my enthusiastic, supportive, giving persona is like cutting off my leg.

[@galleta_2024]

You resonated with me. I am codependent, which translates to a 'Magnet for Narcissists' and have been not happy being so willing to be polite and please, even when it's contraindicated. You helped me embrace who I am because I am a product of Narcissist father and I'm not sure if mom was a passive-aggressive or what. I'm going to find a small gray rock to carry with me whenever I go out with my friend and her husband who is a Narcissist and continually pokes me in the eye any time he wishes and I fall into the trap of reacting. Not anymore. Boring and zero eye contact. If he asks a question, which he either does or makes a rude remark, it will be met with with one word response or zero response as if I didn't hear him. Thank you.

[@doughewitt9424]

Hi Debbie,hope you are well. Can I just pick up a grey rock and throw it at them??? ......only joking!!!

[@theartoftouching6911]

yes i prefere to trow a stone aswell hahahhahah 😂 😂 😂

[@mwizcha7713]

kikiki

[@betty3tes]

I’m deeply touched when you said we are sweet,kind,luminous💙 0:22 So many blessings your way🧲

[@FishOutofWaterTarot]

Thank you so much for this 'boring' idea. I am delighted. I prefer No Contact, of course, but some people are impossible to to avoid. I can't wait to practice 'grey-rocking.' Such good advice! ❤️

[@niiicola]

Thank you for this juicy information, Debbie. Catherine Behan sent me your way.

[@FishOutofWaterTarot]

I am over the moon about the Grey Rock method! Let me know your results!

[@JMc_1]

Excellent advice Deb. I’ll be doing it.

[@kruserk259]

Debbie - Thank You so much! This is great!

[@FishOutofWaterTarot]

I think this will be a good tool for you going forward! ❤️

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Not every narcissist is dramatic. My narc boyfriend of 2.5 years was always happy and that was because he never paid attention or cared about anyone. It is a big big alarm if someone is ALWAYS happy.

[@JMc_1]

Totally agree.

[@wendysbrian1]

Thanks, Debbie, for your book. When reading it, it was like find a manual on how my father operates. Good to get confirmation that I did the right thing by deciding to be done with him over a year ago, although, his behavior since already proved that. Excellent book, Debbie!

[@pattiarconati4992]

Hello Debbie! I have your book and it is the one thing that helped convince me that my soon to be ex is a true narcissist. He used his ability as a narcissistic man to make me feel an addiction to him. I'm working with a counselor and a relationship specialist that are helping me to end the this crazy relationship. This technique will be a great new tool in my tool kit! Thank-you so very much!!

[@debbiemirza1744]

You are so welcome Patti! Thank you for sharing that with me. Big hug! Debbie

[@targoltran]

Having had dealings with narcissistic people, I would say that the "no contact" strategy as suggested by most therapists is not always possible. Distance and/or less contact is probably a more realistic approach. In addition, a lot of toxic people seek revenge. For some reason or the other, they are upset about something or other so they seek revenge.

[@sinm619]

The thing About this is before in a relationship with this person you were being abused you know all of the typical narcissistic abuse : gaslighting, humiliation, manipulation, rage and overall disrespect but when you start doing grey rock and observe don’t absorb it seems like the rage is on a whole new level. They are always coming at you and you feel like you have absolutely no peace. Before at least you had tiny moments of peace in between. What is the best thing to reassure yourself that doing this is better than just suffering through a relationship with them until you can get away. Sometimes it just feels like it’s worse. They are always coming at you in this rage through yelling and insults and it seems like the more you don’t react emotionally by saying things back it seems like the more they come at you. It feels like you are under water gasping for a little bit of air. What words can you tell yourself when you feel like this? Also when everyone else is believe the lies and mask of the narcissist and looking at you like you are provoking them with your grey rock techniques. The loneliness is something that is present. It is stressful to be in the line of fire all the time. Thoughts? ??!!

[@nevamartinez1778]

Love this!!!

[@theartoftouching6911]

WOW you explane it very good.....thanks for this video xxxx

[@danipani9091]

Thank you very much! How can you do this if you’re in a relationship with someone and being every day together ?

[@casidhehaller6584]

if there isn't enough of a response it's suddenly 'you're giving the silent treatment and that's messed up' except his silent treatment lasted DAYS because i went with my friend to more than one animal shelter and he wasn't informed i was going to BOTH and was therefore gone too long. his excuse - not saying so made him unprepared to feed the children dinner and i was not being responsible. i honestly just thought the father of my children could handle figuring out dinner while i was gone for a few hours on one of the 'two too many outings with friends a month'. my bad. x.x

[@gjop-xm2xe]

I grey rocked and got why r u being that way. I didn't know how to respond

[@lakelady7793]

Wow! Spot on. Husband had six month affair while I was trying to complete rotation for occupational therapy. We had been married for 22 years and this came out of the blue.

[@U2lover]

Thank you so much. Best wishes from germany..

[@PB-oo4pu]

You are a hoot!!!🤣 thank you so much for great advice...also so smart!😘

[@debbiemirza1744]

Thank you!

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

I think that as a therapist, you should inform your clients that you feel they are draining you. Sincerely. Because if you are feeling that, and the person in front of you is picking that up, you are doing more harm than good.

[@shellymichelle2719]

Funny. "I'm doing well" in a not too* happy tone

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Plea talk about nosey people!

[@latoyajeffries]

Grey rock What meaning I no saw grey rock an brown saw in room

[@wendysbrian1]

She's right about all of this. You have to let go of them and their games.

[@alexventura544]

Pretty much going ninja