what it's like dating an extremely rational woman | INTJ

[@kimallnaturelle]

I'm an INTJ woman and I approve this message. Men are always telling me, "you should get out of your head and just do." I'm like... I spent my 20s building my emotional intelligence to make sure I can bring that in my relationship. But this hook up culture is so contrary to how I operate. Talking is not dating. Pursuit for me is romantically interview one another to see if we're compatible. I don't have time to waste on incompatible men. I only welcome romance AFTER compatibility has been thoroughly assessed. I date strategically for a lifelong partner lol

[@Chef8898]

Thats quite romantic

[@_--Reaper--_]

I'm a male INTJ and I do this too. I don't like to waste time on women if I see no future with them

[@ratihwulandari9268]

This is so accurate 😂

[@jadamay9264]

Couldn’t have said it better myself

[@khankk7233]

Omggggg so true ❤️

[@Lilmorrow5]

For me (INTJ) dating has one purpose. Finding someone to marry. If the person I’m with or pursuing brings doubt in my mind or if I lose all confidence that I could marry that person, there is no longer a reason to date said person. cold to others; logical to our type

[@アヤト-f7d]

Exactly! That’s why I broke up with my ex that I dated for 4 years, cause I felt that he will never propose even though we were in love.

[@mckennaprincingwrites]

I'm an INTJ woman too and tbh I don't understand why so many people seem to waste time on relationships that are pointless. Unless your goal is to just have fun (which for some people it is) why spend time on someone who isn't ultimately going to fit into your life?

[@thelydshow]

yes exactlyyy

[@isaymamamoo9469]

So true. As intjs, we consider whether people are going to value add to our lives before we let them in. Since we have energy for only a select few, we are very careful about who we let into our lives.

[@tothemoon2562]

Facts.

[@MsBubuTheGreat]

INTJ here , I agree with you 💯

[@alexr6114]

That may make sense for INTJs, but it does not make sense for other women. An INTJ woman is only going to be happy in a relationship with a very small percentage of the male or female population. Other women will need to date around to discover who is compatible with them. Only a minority of women or men are all that introspective or analytical and the majority of young humans haven't a clue as to who they would be interested in for a marriage or a long-term relationship.

[@Ava_sava]

Hi sister, I too am INTJ and also extremely rational/ logical. One topic that throws people off is when I talk about marriage and children from a logical stand point. I take the romance out of it and break down the pros and cons for functionality and lifestyle logics.

[@thelydshow]

wooo sis you sound like me

[@Hangland29]

INTJ female here. Well said!

[@nanaandig]

Lol. same. 😂

[@nahidsharmin]

Same, I’m an INTJ woman too 😂

[@humblejo130]

This is not Intj, this literally just being logical. Intj women are flawed because they were so misunderstood, they decided to create their own image.

[@justanothersherlockian7058]

I am an INTJ female as well, however I am 14 years old. I have already considered romantic relationships a no-go at this point because I tend to have expectations that people call "unrealistic", although I live up to them myself. My primary focus at the moment is learning as much as I can, so I can fulfill my ambition of becoming a detective when I am older.

[@yourdad2833]

me neither! but I wanna be a scientist instead.

[@kimberly1029]

I want to be a detective too, I'm 13 y/o and since everyone is still immature and childish it's super hard to find a guy that actually quite decent and gives it all to the relationship. I already made my mind up that I'm gonna start dating at the end of high school or college since I want someone mature and experience

[@justanothersherlockian7058]

Great idea! As you can see, it's been a month since I wrote my comment, and a lot has happened since then. I started dating this guy, and he actually liked me, but I broke it off after a week cause I couldn't take the pressures of it. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship.

[@justanothersherlockian7058]

@Kei Keishin Yes, I feel the same way! I actually got into a relationship a month after I wrote this comment, but it ended in a week because I broke it off for the sake of my freedom and not feeling trapped! Doing much better now!

[@MaryamRavoofA]

Same here. Except I am 15 year old.

[@TheMakayla11]

The most INTJ female moment I've had romantically was when I made a pros and cons list of continuing my relationship and shared it with my SO at the time. He (ENFP) didn't seem fazed/hurt because he understood why I did it. There was no malice. It was only months later when I told a friend (ENFJ) that I saw how savage that could have seemed. We INTJ females really need someone who understands us.

[@jenniferc6285]

Loool I've done this.

[@humblejo130]

I dont understand. This isn't Intj. This is an example of your need for security. You are just focused on whats most important to you. You are being a women when you do this.

[@novemix_]

omgg I've done this too.

[@katherln]

intj and enfp is actually a really cute match.

[@calmingbabysleep1256]

I've done this-infj (48% thinking)

[@amoore2165]

My longtime live in girlfriend is a rational INTJ and it’s awesome. She’s more easy going than you sound here though. She’s not setting timers or clamoring for me to get out of bed in the morning. But the nice, calm, rational, peaceful demeanor is awesome. She’s also extremely disciplined. I’m an INTJ as well. INTJ INTJ relationship is fantastic actually.

[@NerdNest-i5y]

Reallly i always thought that it would be a disaster...

[@amoore2165]

@@NerdNest-i5y There’s all kinds of good things about INTJ/INTJ I’ve seen on the internet, and of couples on KZbin. Both are rational and reasonable, both are even keeled and even tempered, both are logical, both are fair and just and care a lot about the truth, both are responsible, both are disciplined, both are reliable, both are intellectual, both have the same value set and see the world the same way. On an on. All things that complementary to each other as a couple.

[@Lathrok]

Settling with a NT person (more preferably INTJ) might be the only way I ever get in a relationship again Living alone is an absolute blast and I'm not ready to sacrifice this lifestyle if it's not REALLY worth it

[@mera8551]

As an INTJ I analyzes everything from beginning to end even relationships, I was in a relationship that lasted for 7 years and I was in love but realized that it was waste of time and have no clear vision so I ended it!! And same I want everything to be on schedule, according to plan, and on time in the relationship! I sometimes feel like i treat the relationship as part of a job

[@raijin7707]

The ENTJ comes in and says: It's not only a job it's a duty but this is something that should be negotiated between both partners and understood pretty early on. Things can get out of control pretty quick if you guys don't know where you both stand or fit in in this relationship, everyone needs to know their roles and that's how we keep this shit working.

[@edenbercier7511]

Um sorry to break it to you but staying in a wrong relationships without commitment or marriage for 7 years is not something an INTJ would do... Seven whole years like damn as an INTJ i could never imagine wasting that much time that's a whole two kids. I already planned to the date how long our engagement will be when I meet the right one 😬💀💀

[@squirrelyshirley7629]

Your dating style is just a sign of being intelligent and of being aware of certain 'norms' in society that have brainwashed us out of watching out for our best interests. For instance, women do have to worry about pregnancy and such. What woman, INTJ or not, wouldn't want a strong foundational relationship on which to build the rest of their lives? Independence is being mistaken for lack of need for others and it has destroyed the family unit making us weaker as a society. So keep on being you. Your husband and future children (if wanted) will be better off in the long run. That mindset shouldn't be considered wierd at all and I find it sad that it is considered wierd.

[@thelydshow]

yeah I find it sad that it's considered weird as well, but the fact there there is such a thing as hookup culture goes to show that there are a lot of women out there who aren't seeking foundational relationships and definitely don't have the same mindset as me. A lot of them don't actually enjoy hookup culture but they give in to it, which I think is even worse.

[@shemac1482]

I always hear men complaining about how women are overly emotional and cant be rational, and how much theyd like a woman that isnt so in her feelings....and then they meet one and immediately turn into Ruby Rhod from the Fifth Element. "I think I got the broken one. Why I always gotta get the broken one?" Its like they have no idea what to do when a woman isnt all gushy over them or getting upset over perceived slights.

[@stereotypespecialist]

Generalization.

[@JulianAbreu]

I'm here just because I'm an INTJ guy and wanted to put a face to INTJ women...I just loved this video hahah is just so fun seeing a woman talk the way I do "investment portfolio" surreal, I can't stop but feeling you're acting. yeah, two INTJ would be rough. After watching the video and reading some comments, I've come to the conclusion that INTJ women are the ones that any INTJ guy would want and fear the most.

[@humblejo130]

"Fear the most" lol, so many people take this in a bad way, and dont realize that we need this... it is said that women are men's greatest weakness, but intj men don't feel this, because of the staggering numbers of incompetent. But intj, would DEFINITELY fit the bill.

[@TheSlimkitten]

I am in a relationship with another INTJ and it's great. Things are peaceful and harmonious.

[@malm4812]

i’m a 14y/o female intj and i just relate to your opinions on dating so much. i’m glad there’s people out there who get it

[@dr.chiu7777]

Thanks for sharing this message. As an INTJ female, I was thinking that I will not get into marriage a few years ago. Since I thought most of the relationships are not efficient. Until I met my husband three years ago, luckily, he is the person who understand me. I told him that I do not want to have celebrations or proposal of marriage, we can just have registration of marriage and we did it. (BTW, my husband is an INTP)

[@emberflash1641]

Lol I'm so early. Tbh I'm surprised you even had relationships that young. Growing up INTJ I hated how immature guys were and was pretty brutal overall to anyone I considered naive or illogical. I think you're right, most INTJs find no interest in hookup culture. I'm so protective over my time I've purposely shown my INTJ debating side that can't lose early on just to scare people off so I can get back to my routine. I'd love to see a video about how you deal with women overall because even though I get along platonically with guys pretty easily I find it harder to be as friendly towards women. In so many cases we just can't click and I don't even dislike them, which is quite frustrating

[@thelydshow]

ooo this is such a good idea!!

[@xkenny-personalitydatabase5604]

INTJ is an atypical and androgynous type; NFs more proportionally feminine; STs masculine; SFs are the normal majority in both men and women (the MBTI stats are b.s.; they don't use cognitive functions, most men clearly aren't thinkers, all of history shows otherwise). What I'm saying is that females who are INTJ won't have a problem getting along with other females from being INTJ, but they will have difficulty with everyone rather equally from that variable. It would be because they are masculine in another area such as Big 5 disagreeableness. As an agreeable female INTJ, I don't get along with anyone easily or well past acquaintanceship (though I also don't not get along since I'm mostly neutral, polite, responsible, and quiet/private). I get along both better and worse with women in this unobtrusive state. The former is genuine potential for investment and the latter is their problem which they have gone out of their way to create not mine so I'm hardly bothered. Men are like flat water whom I cannot seem to get on wavelength with. Partly could be being in a red/rural/rightwing area, but men here are more emotional and irrational which will become a problem if you say or do anything which threatens their delusions, whereas women will work with you through communication and discussions and are more often open to challenging ideas. As a child, girls were also more interested in doing things for intrinsic sake rather than an extrinsic check list achievement or attention or going with the crowd, along with being more consitent and honest, less two-faced (boys would often act very different depending on who they were around and what they'd get out of it), so I would play with the girls even though I preferred "boy" activities (which I'd do myself at home anyways!). Once I was able to get over the friendship hurdle, I had the same close core group from elementary to graduation, all girls.

[@emberflash1641]

@@xkenny-personalitydatabase5604 Thx for such a thought provoking reply! I'm quite like you in the fact I'm neutral, polite and responsible, often putting my very strong opinions on hold when around acquaintances since I don't find it necessary to share my inner world with them. Haha, you're right, men overall are actually quite emotional especially to the female INTJ and the group-think and peer pressure among them really puts an INTJ off. I don't think the fact you're in a rightwing area changes much. I'm in a mostly leftwing area and I've met the same kind of close-mindedness and delusions. The biggest issue I have is people assuming I think the same as them without even bothering to ask my opinion. I have difficulty with this since nowadays politics are embedded in emotions so it's hard to discuss anything without someone feeling personally attacked. The few polite discussions i've had with people with drastically different political views where i got a word in edgewise have been really enjoyable. I also have a core girl group of friends. You hit the nail on the head with how although we hang out with girls we prefer traditionally "boy" activities. The guys I would prefer to hang out with are all more introverted so its hard to get close to them. I suppose it's in our nature to seek out the most consistent and to the point people we can find, but they tend to be the minority in both genders I think.

[@sisonkeg.9581]

I'm INTJ. I, too, suffer from the same problem.

[@gabrieli_s7]

My God, it's me!

[@cultofmara]

46 yo intj In my 20s I preferred to be alone while accepting maybe I’d find a person who “fit” some criteria In my 30s I started dating for the practice Like a job In my 40s I realized I was just dating for the stories and curiosity and not to develop anything emotional with actual people Intjs are deep feelers, but no one will ever know that our self reliance as women really asks the question, what exactly do we need from a man anyway? Some momentary fun, fleeting attention then just move on we are lone wolfs we can relate but we don’t need you

[@guardiabreak234]

Yes, and the thought and feeling, "I could be doing something more important(better). This thought habit could get ugly. Depression and anxiety may affect these types. But you look well. Healthy INTJ. By the way I'm INTJ male and i know it could never work between male and female INTJs cause of so many reasons. Clash of titans literally. Id probably fight over tv settings and remote control.

[@Layla-fu3mb]

Really?

[@anneh851]

Quote: "never work between male and female INTJs" I hope that is not true of everyone. I suspect my S.O. is either INTJ (like me) or ENTJ, but he isn't interested in taking the test and I actually don't want to try and type him; I don't want any stereotypes influencing our decisions about our relationship. Remotes? Luckily we share enjoyment of about 80% of the TV shows; when we don't, I go do something else: I have a rowing machine stashed at his house!

[@andreaoyarce9558]

Im a intj woman and I always found hard to connect with other women... and they tend to isolated me.... one girl told Me I seemed chill, focus and not interested n most of other ppls social game ( gossip drama crying etc ) ...for me feels ...unnecessary. so I got called out of touch

[@elainevegan5386]

Logical woman here. Myers Briggs personality tests are not well validated. Make a point to retest yourself in 20 years to see if you’ve changed. I have tested as INTJ and definitely did not just date in order to have a serious relationship. I categorized who was fling material vs who was longterm material based on shared core values, sense of humor, and stability. No one who didn’t share core values got priority time or deep feels, those guys were just for fun. When I found someone who met my key requirements I carefully pursued them. We’re married now. I definitely never set timers for sex or expected a partner to share non core values like “eat at home rather than out.” We all have different preferences. Plus, novelty is statistically associated with romantic feelings so as a logical woman I seek that with my partner. I appreciate how open you are here. I just wouldn’t describe what you’ve discussed as “logical.” It’s really just your priorities.

[@rj_mira3510]

It absolutely astounds me out how similar we are: same age, same personality type, same looks , same style, more or less the same opinions. On one level it's kind of freaky, on another it's somewhat comforting to know that there are people out there who genuinely know where I'm coming from

[@アヤト-f7d]

I felt the exact same way too…

[@gregharn1]

As an INTJ male, It's been nice to read through these comments.

[@Renly.]

As an AFAB INTJ 5w4, I can approve of this. I struggled a lot in relationships because I could never wrap my head around emotional needs, but in my current relationship (going on six years) with my now fiance, INFJ partner - it definitely helps to have someone who balances me out on the more emotional side. I’ve been able to grow a lot with them over the course of our relationship, and done the most maturing in bending for the other person. I admit, I can be very stubborn to the “logical” side of things, and dig my heels in. Not really thinking about emotion in decision making but I’ve gotten a lot better over time. I had to laugh at the “having your week planned in advance.” I’m listening to this at work and I glanced up to the calendar on my desk that has my whole week penned in for every friend that wanted to hang out this week. They have to let me know in advance, and I literally “pen” them in on my calendar. 😂

[@humblejo130]

So, here's the thing...Intj male here. 1. If you are an Intj, no matter if you are woman or not, you are an architect... a mastermind type of personality... 2. You are not going to sit here and just tell me how terrible it was being with you because of your intj nature... it is the fact that you are so confident in your brain, because of those lonely nights where you felt like no one could understand you so you decided to make your own identity, that it was so terrible. You missed the most important part of your heart which was to adapt. Intj's don't control things directly. We are behind the scenes meaning, we control our inner selves and project it onto others... this stern, and uptight energy I'm getting from you, is more like a logician, or the intp... its off for an intj. As an intj, your eyes are bright, because you know about the deeper things that your intuition has included you in on. Yet you give the death stare because of all the idiots around you.... 3. You just need someone who gets that you are still a women... this uptight, trying to control things all the time, is literally just your need for security being projected through the lens of your intj personality... This is not logical.. LOL EVEN WHEN YOU ARE NOT BEING EMOTIONAL, YOU ARE STILL BEING EMOTIONAL! Because you are a women. You make decision based on your immediate need, and I want to apologize on the behalf of men that made you feel like you weren't a woman. I would imagine being with you, like being with a best friend that can actually help you, and be there by my side you don't have to pretend like it is helping you when its not. Because this type of woman, actually wants to be fruitful, because there is no use crying over spilled milk when you can just go get some more. The sex would be AMAZING, because this woman has a goal... basically I'm saying, a relationship just happens, you don't have to make it happen, and thats what this woman represents. If a guy wants specific stuff that has nothing to do with a relationship, or are mandatory towards what actually matters then, sweetheart... you picked the wrong guy... simple as that. If one was to understand this about you; first off it shouldn't take that long for you to figure out whats for you, if it did then most like likely *AS AN INTJ* it wasn't the right fit. Second, because you've been misunderstood for so long you don't even know, whats not for you. But when the thing shows up that is for you, you will know right off the bat. But if someone just pays attention they would know that deep part about you that you don't express because its not logical to always be vulnerable when you are gonna keep getting hurt, you would be head over heels for that person, even ADAPT to become more emotional, just so that you can please your partner. Don't kid yourself. As an Intj You are one of the most intimidating women on the planet, except it's that good intimidation that makes everyone around you salute to your greatness. And its not because of you being a challenge. Its because, of your skill to love someone past their guard and make them vulnerable, and then play with them, just to show them they are now yours. That is what makes you addicting, and yet so terrifying. You have the most potential to become everyone's dream girl for the right person of course. THIS is what an Intj is. Stop thinking and just know it. Stop doubting yourself.

[@promitadas515]

Lmao when u pulled cost benefit analysis i was like yes girl bring that swot analysis

[@thelydshow]

my people have spoken

[@JacksTestimony]

The best offense is also a good defense. I like that confidence in yourself to win an argument because you’ve prepared.

[@Nsbbnn]

I'm also an INTJ, it's amazing to see you putting so much effort into uploading these videos on KZbin

[@Mayakran]

This is... insane. I’m also an INTJ woman and you and I have super similar tones of voice, mannerisms, gestures, vocabulary, and even hand movements. I very rarely relate so well to someone. Wow XD.

[@lineyhernandez5492]

The whole “I have food at home” part is so me. Lol.

[@n.5398]

"but if there is an argument i think it wouldn't go so well because i would completely prepared with an entire legal essay on why i'm right and i will never lose," i feel it spiritually

[@Chef8898]

Why would you try to win an argument instead of getting to a mutual understanding.

[@lightinthedark9201]

@@Chef8898 because truth wins

[@littlelaurwashere]

Wow, you're basically my clone. Also, I really do not like wearing the "pants" however, it always seems to happen 😅- fellow intj

[@thelydshow]

hello hello :)

[@humblejo130]

Stop trying to control, and learn how to adapt... you get more info, doing this.

[@alexander349]

I'm the same personality type as you and honestly, you aren't logical you're just controlling. Setting alarms to kick your S/O out so the world conforms to your schedule just makes you rigid and inflexible. I'm an INTJ too, but I put alot of that to the side when dealing with others because I know the entire world will not and cannot operate the way that I can. Concessions have to be made to make others happy and I can always pick up any slack that is created. Also that "I'm always right" mentality will drive away anyone with good sense. Sometimes you are wrong despite whatever argument or essay you come up with. Nobody is right about everything all the time, regardless of your personality type and acting like you are because you're supposedly logical is ironically counterintuitive. Not allowing life to happen if it falls outside of the pervue of your weekly schedule just causes you to miss out at best and more than likely be unlikable. Understand that the world will not always fit into your box and that other human beings are not logical and therefore cannot be treated logically. It will make you better. Sincerely, another INTJ

[@thelydshow]

Hahah thanks Alex. I said I USED to be like this. I was very young and this was at a time in my life when I would pull multiple all nighters a week because I had just that much work to do. So yes, things that were pleasurable literally had to be timed into my schedule. I obviously have learned from that and am very happy in my current relationship, but thank you for your concern

[@alexander349]

@@thelydshow That's good, I'm glad you've learned since then. Honestly I used to be similar and it took me time to learn that everyone doesn't work the way I do, unfortunately lol. Glad you've found happiness tho

[@raijin7707]

If you ask me that inflexibility is coming from her lack of Se.

[@five5x]

@@alexander349 Amen Alex. I'm partnered to an INTJ and he would whole heartedly agree with you. I love INTJ's who have realized their own faults as a human. We all have faults, but a lot of young INTJ's can really have these ideas that things must be their way, I'm right, this is how it's gotta be and my logic is never wrong. What a way to sabotage yourself from personal growth, thinking that way. Listening to her talk about finding a partner who would be easy going so she could have her way was a little cringey. Those relationships are always a recipe for disaster. When I hear a female talk that way I always think, would that fly if a man said that? Absolutely not because control of another to get your way is pretty damn awful no matter what gender a person is. I know INTJ's have many wonderful attributes, but there's some tough life lessons for the this personality type. Just like with my type as an INFP male, I had a lot to learn. After 16 years together we have really helped each other grow as people. I don't think there's another type for our personality types who can have so much in common, yet be so different. Those differences have been a benefit to us both, sometimes we butt heads, but the biggest thing is we really saw the worst of our personalities because of the contrasting personality types in the FP/TJ. It was a, "dude, we can be a bit much" moment. It made us want to change and learn.

[@Winskl9010]

@@five5x Ew gay

[@アヤト-f7d]

I did the exact same thing as you, set alarm, prioritize my plan than relationship, and I also prepare essay to prove I’m right.

[@thelydshow]

hahahahaah

[@shintageza7164]

My longest relationship was like 2 months and its 5 years ago. I dont like wasting time with a man who feel like they owned me just because im his girlfriend.

[@hp6417]

Preparing an argument as if you're going to court and closing by saying "I rest my case" is the epitome of INTJ women arguments. Setting schedules for dates and not blending in with other girls/women is relatable. We do soften after a few decades, and the secondary F will show itself with the right partner, and after much testing in previous relationships. Flings are absolutely not for us. I need a mental connection before my cells even decide if your body and dna is fit to be mingling with mine. Your videos have brought me a good laugh, and a reminder of how unusual we are. We learn though. We learn!

[@sum4622]

I'm an INTJ Female . I swear I never met any female with same personality in real life. Now I understand why it's rare personality type. all my friends are extroverts

[@edenbercier7511]

Being extroverts is such a broad term. That doesn't even mean anything and you can be an extrovert without being the center of attention or even being loudly social try again and I say this an an INTJ woman...

[@FernJuice]

My husband and I are both intj! We are incredibly similar. But it works for us- I feel understood

[@juliengaspillo1876]

I am a young Intj, I'm just sixteen right now. I don't really like to have relationship as my other peers because I know that in people in my age are not fully matured yet and that means if I will be in a relationship with them, it's gonna be useless. Most of all, people are often intimidated by me. One of my "weird requirements" is for them to be persistend and have guts. If they are intimidated by me by the first impression. They didn't even try. Then, they'll not know what it feels like to date me. I as an INTJ can see myself as a goof around the people I'm close with and me being alone. If they are intimidated by me because they think I'm very serious, all about studies, and bussiness minded, then they don't like me that much, enough to have the guts to approach me. In life, if you just give up on something, you don't really like it. If you just give up, how are you gonna grow. Okay i'll stop, I know this is all about relationships, but somehow I'm off topic. Okay Bye, Yeah, I know you won't read this

[@humblejo130]

Would you consider yourself a drop dead gorgeous girl? (I know you don't, but judge off of the effect you have on others)

[@ticmanyt8539]

That feeling when people always misunderstand you -

[@LoveDianeBE]

Oh my goodness!!! We are so alike!!! 😄 It’s nice to find people who understand you.

[@remnms3581]

I honestly felt called out for the timer thing you mentioned 'cause time is the factor I'm most concerned with in my day-to-day activities. I thought I was the only one doing that lmao. And you're absolutely right about what kind of partner we should seek. I am an INTJ woman 7.5 years in a romantic relationship and 1.5 months married to an ISTP man whose drama and emotional fluctuation levels are near zero. The only frustrating things for me are his spontaneity and still-developing introverted intuition. As a planner and achiever who could foresee tragedy before it arises, I feel like he's way too calm in going through life day-by-day. What's brilliant about him though is that he could solve almost any problem regardless of the amount of time given to him. He uses his dominant introverted thinking to get out of sticky situations that are the result of not planning ahead. The anxiety of not being in control all the time is sometimes unbearable but slowly, my husband is helping me let loose and accept that not everything would be ideal; not everything is grasped by my "perfect" intuition. He's trying to make me realize that sometimes, flexibility is your greatest ally. And to be a mature INTJ, I must utilize that fact to the best extent.

[@Rap111unzel]

INTJ woman here, 52 years old and married to a 41 year old INFJ. Married for 5 years, together a total of 14.I can totally relate to all of this.

[@isabel2483]

I can relate as a INTJ female, however the less I approach relationships like a chore the more I find them fulfilling. Not just in the romantical sense. I've tried different things over the years, to casual hookups, to long distance relationships, to open relationships, to being completely single. I've decided that I wanted to have experiences in dating and it wouldn't happen if I didn't put effort in it. However, the moment I start to find the effort isn't being worthy it I will leave. I want specific things out of relationship, out of my partner, I find, I've tried being more adaptable to see if my heart would reign in but it never happened.

[@xeniademes3220]

I’m an INTJ woman and delve into hook up culture deeply. At some point in time, I was screwing guys and ditching them because I was emotionally retarded and didn’t want to deal with them emotionally. I for one, think men are more emotional and didn’t really know how to deal with my emotions, let alone someone else’s. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Spontaneity is my style, but I guess all INTJs are different, but are similar at the core. We are strong minded and strong willed. I wouldn’t necessarily call my energy ‘masculine,’ I’d call it ..🤔 “tough.” I hang with guys and girls, but love hanging with girls, girls that are more like me.

[@vaniagriselda5335]

Laugh so hard when you said set a timer up 😂😂

[@clarkdef]

I am an INTJ male. 2 years have passed since you made this video but you actually remind me of myself when I was in my 20s, very to the point and self absorbed, I am 41 now and I have changed a lot. I have learnt that people are everything, a common thought experiment I have is, if I were the only one on this planet, would I pursue pleasure? Driving a car around a race track fast or singing a song well. I don't think I would pursue any of that, I would simply deform. So I conform to my partner to make my life easier, it works. I have the easiest life I have ever had doing that. She is my Queen and I will do anything to protect her, she is good to me. I am a better person for letting go of complete control, control that was just there to insure things were efficient. INTJs are just talented jerks who can get the job done, if they feel the need. So to counter that the INTJ needs to look to serve people on our level.

[@soldierforchrist477]

Brother, could i speak with you??, I am currently married to an INTJ-I personality type Which I guess is the equivalent of finding a purple unicorn.19 years married . I had no clue when we got married who she was or what personality type she was. Just stepping into the madness and The root of our problems right now. because i am so close to divorce..Most of the time through the beginning of our marriage, I was deployed or operating with other soldiers and trainin countless hours...Later in my career with naval special warfare S.E.A.L & S.W.C.C. I began to work longer hours and bigger days, which separated us even more.That put a big buffer in between our relationship together and sent me on deployment and training missions all the time. So we really never had a chance to be together side by side for long periods the time. Which seemed to work out,😢 until it didn't. I am a strong alpha male personality and my wife and I clash when it comes to the intimacy, Spontaneity, Dating and courting one another.. Because she's not spontaneous and she never comes to me. I have to schedule time with her. And she says that she feels used by me. For only sex and unfortunately, that is not true. intimacy is so much more than that!A deep ocean, If you will a time for me to be able to draw so close to my wife. That her soul and my soul become one... Intimacy, compassion and feeling desired makes me feel important, Wanted and needed. Even though I do everything within my power to form relationship and show her that she is desired by me. My heart is slowly breaking and I am fading away in the wind.. I'm a very complicated man with lots of childhood dramas and I thought I was going to marry somebody who would compliment me in my lifewalk... But no, Instead, I married somebody who is 0.3 %of the female population and that absolutely destroys me inside of my mind and 💔. Instead of her desiring me or missing me or telling me that i'm important. She always just observes me and all the fun things that I do with my children. I'm the exciting one, She never initiates intimacy or shower loving.. She doesn't talk About her personal life or any other things to me. We have a long history of fighting and until just a few months ago I had no Idea who she was. I married an introvert. She is my Queen as well. And I love her with all my heart. And I have established dominion over her and my home ad husband in a christian relationship. When I say dominion.. Please do not take that the wrong way all you out there who think that i'm maybe being a chauvinist🎉. male pig I'm just doing what any man does and establishing my rank amongst my family. And claiming her as mine.. She is not a thing to me or an object. But the love of my life. And she does not understand how I work, in any way shape or form. All the other men out there who have a normal women., If they cooked, cleaned to care of the kid,paid ALL the bills, bought her a house in another country retired at 36. None of this is enough and none of this changes anything about her personality, Feelings or emotion towards me. I am so desperate to figure out what to do, how to act.. initiate or show some interest in me. Right now it feels like insanity.. to give her some perspective of who I am. If anybody has any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. I really am trying to be the best husband I know how to be with Jesus in my life but it's almost impossible and I feel very alone... But I'm starting to learn that that's pretty Normal for me to be feeling with her personality type. Any perspective would be helpful.😢

[@clarkdef]

Looks like no bond has been established, you need a bond to have a relationship after the lust/first meet/honey moon phase and then build or maintain the bond from then on. First before you build a bond you have to see if you are compatible. Compatibility comes in the form of believes, interests, political, social... etc. Not all compatibles can be meet, but as many as possible is a good start. What ever compatibles are not meet still need to be worked out to make the function of "Compatibility" work. The next step in the LOGIC is "Compliance". Compliance is used to adjust the differences in the incompatibles to become "Compatible". If you can use compliance on everything. example. IF "all" is different AND you can comply with ALL, then you most like are a BETA in the purist form. IF "all" is different AND you can comply with NONE, then likely an Alpha in the purist form. Compliance is a shared responsibility, it is unreasonable to expect just one to do it. Also INTJs are not BETA, they are SIGMA so they will NOT be compliant on all without great suffering. INTJs make good programmers because they have strong logical reasoning abilities. They apply this reasoning to many things in life to make sense of the world they are in. They are not usually religious but can be. When you know you have built a bond with an INTJ person they will want to tell you everything on their mind, because they trust you can interpret the information without offense and or judgement. A good way to build a bond is to ask questions and see if they can start spilling out small things, know that how you feel about the answers does not matter, it's all about discovering what is actually right or the best course of action or what is just interesting. When she can trust your reactions to her statements or ideas can be interpreted correctly then you will start bonding. That's what I believe my partner does with me. In return I will do the social event here and there with her, she is mindful of when I might of had enough, so like partners in crime she takes it on the chin and says "Ok we have to go now!" Just do things like asking her what she likes and listening to what she has to say. After my partner shown me that she can do all of that for me, I started serving her she serves me as well.@@soldierforchrist477

[@nikolasappel8783]

Just letting you know I have my computer now and was typing most of what I did this morning on my cell phone( Not an easy task... slow and steady) but now I have my computer and this should be a lot easier. I am so thankful for your quick response. I call her my robot, queen, kids call her the professor. She was the only woman in the world to break the system in Chile where we bought a house after I retired from the military... she found a loop hole in the law to import mini pigs, so we had a monopoly down there in Chile called: Mini Pigs Chile. We sold the Business and now moved back to the us after I was hit by a truck. My purple Unicorn is so rare. And I was unsure about here love towards me for many years. She is so distant and thought I had a sex problem and porn addiction, but I don't and still am abstaining to draw closer to God and her . I see now that those things were tools and cheaters to substitute the inadaquicies that were and still are coming at me head on because of the personality, or lack there-of. She has never.. and I mean NEVER initiated love making in 17 years. Even though I have explained it to her 1,000 times. No spontaneity, no telling me she needs me!! She is a truth teller and side taker, and finger pointer. there always has to be blame. I have not had a real moment with her in years. We have cried together 3 times in 19 years of marriage, and the only time she really cries is when she HATES me and wants to destroy me and take over the world. She is my observer. And I would never want to go to war with her 4.5 star gpa and mind. She is a beast in the head. She always wins arguments and is right 99.9 % of the time. I do everything for her and our family... I feel used and like just a work horse with no return. I Wrestle the kids, do sports, running, hiking, swimming, cleaning the house, making dinner, flowers all of it. She says all I want is sex and that I have a personality disorder... NOT TRUE, and that is not FREAKING TRUE...She seems like she is shirking her love for me... I am a very handsome and good looking man, who tells other women "no," all the time... But as of late, I have been recalculating my decisions about our marriage. I am lonely and need to be wanted, desired and my emotional needs met, yet she makes conditions that I have to meet first. Which, to me... looks like conditional love. She say security and peace. I already have a pension for the rest of my life of 75k a year. and starting a second job in February. we together make about 150k. Year. so that's stable. and peace. I am pulling out my hair, because she says she does not want to get on my emotional rollercoaster, but that is who I am. A dutch-man Naval special warfare Soldier!! Who Kicks ass and takes names. But I'm a teddy in my heart, and she wants none of it... The lone-wolf...I want to know her very SOUL... and be one with her... and KNOW SHE IS MINE!! Yet she is a big fat stiff arm in our marriage.... and needs really nothing from me, by me... for me,,, Nothing!! . Even though I built her a house in South America, started 2 companies, money, 4 kids... and I built her our forever home.. None of it is enough... She is a very, very, strong headed woman... And I love her to bits and pieces, but it's all a mystery to me still. You we're right about the bond. We rushed into it and I wasn't even really paying attention. I always said I was "never," going to get married... Then I found the most beautiful purple unicorn in the whole world and my perspective and world forever changed. Anything you can give me for tools? I know you already wrote a ton. And I can start implementing those things immediately. If you have anything else, or anyone else has some nuggets of GOLD for me!! I am desperate! Thank you so much in advance, Soldier For Christ.

[@clarkdef]

By the sounds of your side of the story you should end the relationship. Because it isn't one. And from what you have learnt apply it again with somebody else in time. INTJs have a habit of isolating themselves. Like I said originally I was a jerk and only learnt from breakups which I then learnt how to actually be. It was pain but has allowed me to make a better foundation.@@nikolasappel8783

[@carolyngarman1422]

I didn't know that it was an INTJ thing to feel like women talk about trivial things which I never fit in with and fitting in more with the guys.

[@syarilezzuddeen]

Excellent, excellent and excellent. You were not at all ashamed to just be yourself and speak your mind in front of a camera to an indeterminate range of audience. Do consider coming back and revising this video. You might find as you grow older. Your experience alters you perceptions slightly - thus, altering your behaviour and your partners experience of being with you. I believe that by using a classification (to label? I don't know what the people in their early 20s use for "putting people into boxes") - you create a responsibility for yourself. I believe for the female INTJs - men who internalise women as equal - will be compelled to treat you as "a bro". Beware - there are some truly sociopathic and dangerous people out there in the world. They cannot help but see is a woman not conforming to their world view... Might see you as a hostile threat and seek to "neutralise" you. Be wary. I don't know how to permutate this point without wearing it out. Respect your INTJ-ness. If you didn't say you were 21 in another video - I would not be aware of this. ENERGETIC FUN to the power of 3. Make caveates within the protocols of your long term plans to CHECK FOR HOW FUN IT ACTUALLY IS and DIVERT ACCORDINGLY should it truly excite or entrall you. Your perception of time becomes warped when your having too much fun - its like wow. what time is it? I'm late or overstayed. As you get older, you do lose somethings. The warmth of those truly -/+ unexpected -/+ beautifully energetic -/+ spontaneous moments are the colour in the tapestry of your life. The paint is dry by the time you are 30 and life takes away half your brushes. If you can every accept silly - accept it and embody it the best you can but don't go wild. Wild is just irrational / insane with dangerous / lethal outcomes and it always will be.

[@carcodog]

If you clash, don’t just concede, but try to understand the others point of view and seek to understand each other’s perspectives, motives, goals, and dreams. The gold standard in relationships comes when you both seek to understand the rationale (regardless of whether it’s actually rational) of each other’s needs AND THEN seek to fulfill them. Cheers from an INFJ

[@charles-valentinalkan5681]

This video actually undermined my confidence in my own type (typed myself through research as an INTJ). I can't relate to everything you have said and it seems that I plan way less than an average INTJ, assuming I am actually one. Maybe it's a habit thing, maybe it's a gender thing (I am a man, maybe there is a difference between INTJ men/women). The whole schedule thing with details doesn't sound like me at all, in fact, my plans are way more broad and general. The new option for my type that I started to consider is ISTP, as apparently these people often get initially mistyped as INTJs, especially if they are enneagram 5s (I am 5w4). However even here I find contradictions, as my Se seems to be too weak to be secondary. ISTPs tend to be very pragmatic people, practical and grounded while I am quite philosophical, focusing on the spiritual/intellectual side of things more. Since this video is about dating I can point out another difference between you and me; it seems like actual INTJs have not only established boundaries in a relationship, but also a concrete and particular idea of a partner they would like to have. If I am not mistaken you could, if asked, list qualities that you think are desirable in a partner, uninterested in dating someone who doesn't match your ideal. In my case it's completely different. I don't have a particular plan or idea of an "ideal partner", it's quite flexible and broad. A possible explanation for this difference is that INTJs are usually aware of what they want and what they feel, the Tertiary Fi is not a weak function so the Ni-Fi connection is responsible for their ideas and how they resonate. If I am an ISTP then it would be expected that I will struggle with understanding my own emotions/wants. In conclusion: I liked the video, despite it causing doubt in me as it signifies that I probably made a typing mistake somewhere and since knowing the truth is more important that being in doubt or frustrated I regard this effect as positive.

[@dreamwish286]

I don’t think it’s you with the typing mistake, in this case. I couldn’t relate to her either, and I’m female. I don’t get how so many of the INTJ females in this comment section can. It’s possible they want to be INTJs, so they pretend to relate to traits that may seem INTJ, but aren’t. Not to say the INTJs here aren’t actually INTJs, of course. Though, it’s also possible that we’re both mistyped.

[@Ida03]

I can relate so much even though I'm an INFJ lol, have a good day lyd!

[@thelydshow]

awww you toooo

[@hurain6597]

I am an INTJ and I relate to many aspects of the INFJ personality type. I think we are pretty similar.

[@joielives1131]

"And I will never loose" 😆

[@quantenmoi]

"I can understand emotions and can definitely read people really well. But I can still be logical about everything I do." A woman after my own heart! On the other hand, I’m skeptical of the whole 'personality type' thing. Then some of you will say to me "How very INTJ of you!" 😉 EDIT: After watching the rest of the video, I emphatically take back "woman after my own heart." A relationship should have mutual respect and sharing. You seem WAY too self-centered. And I don't think that has anything to do with INTJ.

[@anneh851]

Thank you for such a relatable video! "I don't identify as one of you guys, even tho I am clearly a heterosexual woman" Yeah...tell me about it. The topics some groupthink women jaw on about just floor me with their shallowness. At gatherings, usually after dinner, men and women split into gender groups for conversations. The women only want to talk babies, Jesus, recipes....and gossip. The men want to talk about science, home improvements, electric cars, how things work, etc. So the men's topics are the ones I gravitate towards and participate in. Then the women think I am "pursuing their men" by being more interested in their men's convos, and they get jealous and catty and feel ignored or rejected. This was more before the boyfriend entered the picture. Luckily my S.O. is usually with me, and I can listen/participate in intelligent conversations with him and the other guys. Then the guys start to see I am actually doing my own home improvements, etc, and I am accepted because my actions speak louder than the ladies' words/opinions about my interests.

[@primersegundo3788]

Understanding the true essence of love often eludes us, as it seems an ineffable investment of time, overshadowed by the allure of seemingly more pragmatic pursuits. I posit that romantic love might be a fabricated construct imposed by cultural norms, weaving a narrative that could potentially deceive individuals into embracing ideals that conform to societal expectations.

[@setapart2447]

Absolutely!!! I cannot imagine making emotional decisions -no way

[@Digital_Chief]

Hilarious. Spontaneity doesn’t fit into my schedule 😂😂😂

[@heyitskira7056]

I love your channel and we are really similar even though I’m an INTP, I find myself constantly relating and enjoying your content.

[@thelydshow]

That is awesome!

[@sherilumley5498]

When I first started dating my husband, ove 20 years ago I thought he was spending too much on taking me out to dinner. So, after the second month I tracked the amounts he was spending on eating when he was with me ( he didn't show me the bill so I had to track it on menu prices). After a month passed, I gave him a total cost of the meals out, as well as a daily average. I then let him draw the conclusion, fortunately he realized he was spending a lot and his taking me out to dinner decreased dramatically. I was really happy he was able to see my rationale! I didn't realize how weird that was until watching your video, then I really had to laugh and remind my husband of that. You are great! Thank you!

[@user-rq8rh3si3m]

진짜 쓸데없는 짓 했네

[@tunaste]

I get tired of setting the bar so high all the time. Of course what I want most is that someone would measure up (maybe myself most of all), but few people ever do. And then it's me, again, writing about it alone on youtube comments. It's fucked up, but I sort of pray that people struggle in areas where I'm strong the way I struggle in areas others deem so crucial. I hope a sense of what's missing makes them ache inside and yearn the same way I do. The difference is I know I'll use those feelings to galvanize me further towards my goals. It's just that the direction I lead rarely seems to draw me nearer to others so the cycle perpetuates.

[@bejoybenice]

I’m an INFJ woman and people find me ‘annoyingly rational’ apart from INTJs and ESTJs. It’s a misconception that irrationality means leading with emotions. Emotions can be logical. Person A slapped person B. Person B feels pain and hurt. That is on a very simplified scale. INFJs see the big picture even clearer than INTJs many times and we can be even more logical than our thinker type counterparts, especially when decisions involve people. Leading actions by way of “getting results” and not people and emotions leads to results of what an INTJ perceives as ‘fair’ in an equality sense, not equity. That’s the difference. It’s sad. Relationships treated like a math equation of what you want and how they fit into your life plan instead of the feelings that person can give you and how you help each other grow . “I will always be right” lol… that is a mighty conceited and not a growth mindset which is not an INTJ trait in and of itself, but it’s a mindset which wastes a lot of potential as an INTJ.

[@czar_cz]

Thanks your providing captions.

[@raijin7707]

As an ENTJ male I'd say I kind of appreciate this approach to relationships because it's very sound, you can sort the bullshitters and the people who's goals and ideals that do not align with your own. I have a similar approach with women, I don't like to get into things too quickly I prefer to take my time and a lot of women just walk away. Oh well fuck it, there are plenty of more where that came from. It seems to be these SJs type that I attract most and it's usually one of 2 things either they're physically attracted to me or I am just very funny but maybe those are 2 sides of one coin so I guess you can say I am pretty funny, did you get that? XD In all seriousness I have to check all the boxes and run a few benchmarks, when I take my time with her and she's consistent with me she'll slowly but surly win me over but most of them aren't patient enough so I let that fish swim away. Some come back to only find that another bitch has taken her spot in the cheerleading tryouts lmao.

[@smilesmile1237]

Hi, not sure if you will read this comment, but do you have any dating tips for male INTJs? I'm trying to be extroverted but it's not quite working. Should i use dating apps? and if im successful should I avoid the S-types in dating?

[@raijin7707]

@@smilesmile1237 Hi, it's rare that I do not respond to messages. Personally I do not recommenced dating apps because of how unethical their programmed to basically rip the customer off and for the most part give you a raw deal. Their algorithms are diabolical and is designed and keep you addicted to scrolling and paying for the possibility of maybe never uninstalling it because they can't make money off you if you find love. Not only that it is a sausage fest the guys out number women in a ratio of 3 to 1 too many guys are lined up to talk to one chick as you may see this will make her boost her ego and cause many of them to become grandios and think they are more than what they actually are and they'll raise their standard so high and price themselves out of the market, it is a shit show lol. Not sure if I'll ever use a dating app again, most of them have the same rampart issues, fake profiles, more men than women, over monetization, card system, swipe systems and like systems that force you to pay, it is not enough to just have a subscription you're getting nickeled and dimed for everything you have and half the time the chicks will like you but not even hold conversation, I've had chicks flake last min or dealt with fake chicks like you damn near have to become a investigator to circumnavigate a field full of mines. Lets not forget about the guys that think their chicks or the chicks who aren't actually there for dating their just looking for a way to pull people off that platform unto their OF or their Insta, what a waste of time. Dating websites just do not work in the interest of most people they oporate in the interest of a few I can go on and on about how their designed to screw you over, it's dystopian villain type shit. Other than that I wouldn't rule out any type in particular always leave room open because you'll always find variability and you'll discover people who are of a particular type but diverge from the trend of behaving in typical fashion of all other S types. I've known many ISFJs but there's one that caught my eye and she's the most unique of all ISFJs i've ever known. One type more might want to consider is the ISFJ because they are the one of the most simplest S types to build with. And for a N type they are very predictable, their needs tend to be simple and ISFJs are very giving people. Though one asterisk is they tend to be very vanilla, like a blank canvas in all aspects of that word. If you okay with that than your issues with an ISFJ would be very minimal. Though the ISFJ might need reassurance from time to time because they are creatures of comforting especially given the fact that SI is their first function they'll always seek out the familiarity and they live in that 24/7 You might be the catalist to break some of their cycles. Getting back on the topic of dating websites, I hate them, you can use them if you want, there is a big risk of it being a money pit though it works out for some people but not the majority especially for men. Your miles may very, I've been on dates and but it doesn't help when those dates are months to years apart because the chicks are mad picky because there's too many fucking duuuudes! it's not an even ratio.

[@aliceagos]

INTP woman here. I appreciate and I see myself called out a lot here, but I also think this is a bit too much to be healthy. In other words, it is not rational to apply logical thinking to non-rational issues (like intimacy and stuff). It’s like you’re trying to measure speed with a scale, just wrong approach. I’m realizing this A LOT as I’m growing older. But I understand your J means a lot more scheduled planning than me.

[@BosqueVillage]

I have been with a couple INTJ women, so far as I know. They were rational and nice. Sometimes trying to be controlling, but I understand that since I am too. It was nice. No crying or weird shit.

[@creaturesfromelsewhere203]

As an INTJ guy, I have to say, INTJ gals are amazing.

[@katherinerentschler694]

Sorry in advance for the rant. Great video! I feel seen. I do not like being put on display and lowering my intellect to make a man look better while out in public. I like being seen and heard, well-dressed and well-spoken. When men try to spin this scenario into me being rude or socially awkward, I will tend to verbally eviscerate them with evidence. Also, no health insurance = no sex. I like girly things, especially fashion and makeup, but I am not a bubbly woman. I have the temperament of Christina Yang's character from Grey's Anatomy on a good day, and the temperament of Dr. House on a bad day, but I try and keep myself in check. A true dumpster fire is when, as an INTJ woman, you end up dating an abusive narcissist who gaslights you during arguments while you're trying to communicate effectively, and simultaneously wasting time you could be spending on the career path or hobbies which routinely give you vitality. It's even worse if you have "masculine" hobbies or a career (I use that term loosely because people should be able to like whatever they like, regardless of gender stereotypes), which they try to ruin by slut shaming you for liking "bro-type" things, which coincidentally, was something they adored about you during the love bombing phase. Then, the rational side of you tries to strategically escape and take the high road to get to a safer place, but the feisty side of you wants to break bad and seek revenge, because you've been told your whole life to be a broodmare, submit and stay in the kitchen with a fake smile, and you just want to reach your full potential, and for your partner to appreciate that. Yet, when you finally come out of it on the other end, with grace and dignity, you realize your true power again and become even more guarded, rational, successful, and tough as nails. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, ladies!

[@karolinavolkova8064]

I'm an INTJ woman and I have troubles to find someone who can understand me well. I feel lonely sometimes, because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I'm sort of invisible to people which is what I'm comfortable with but sometimes I desperately need someone to talk to about deep things.

[@neferausar7090]

Hi I'm an INTJ-A male and I feel the same. If you are open to it I would love to get to know you and talk about deep things

[@dene2373]

As an INTJ female, this made me LOL with elation of relation 😂 Thanks for sharing!

[@goldnra2443]

I used to not wanting to lose in arguments...but now as I get older, sometimes when they're right, I kinda let them win

[@thelydshow]

yeah ive learned this as well, even though in my head world war 3 is happening

[@goldnra2443]

@@thelydshow yupp INTJs are like that 😆

[@timalp3680]

lmfao, this is gold. It's *exactly* how I calculate relationships as well. But as an INTJ guy, my options are limited b/c most women simply don't understand and think I "calculate too much", but like you, I agree, it's all about risk/reward and cost/benefit analysis P.s, It's interesting how you popped up in my recommendations, given that I only watch tech, finance, philosophy and economics related videos

[@keeyo28]

Hahaha! “I feel like spontaneity doesn’t fit into my schedule”.

[@solgast]

Interesting take and alot of good mature points that shows and shine light on relationship for long term. I have always been searching for that deeper mental and emotional connection. Hearing all these awesome perspectives and depth on relationship gives me hope and joy. Looking forward for more amazing episodes. Feel I could talk for hours on end about everything and deep dive into the void and back. - ENFP-A, 4w5

[@HermesGirl]

Is this a reason why men, out of the blue, have told me that I am terrifying? Like dude, I've been nothing but nice to you. I can BE terrifying, and this is not it. You're welcome. (scratches name of man quickly on nemesis contender list)

[@thelydshow]

hahhah most likely

[@rickterrance4981]

Im actually an INTJ and I can say I have a hard time dealing with women because I don't see the world like they do. This may sound sexist but its actually backed by research women tend to engage in emotional reasoning Im not cold or emotionless and I'm not saying my emotions never have an impact on my reasoning. Im human... but I generally tend to see things from a logical rational perspective even if my initial response is motivated by my feelings I still tend to "catch myself" and correct myself down the line. A girl will often get offended by something I did or said because shes assuming Im being passive aggressive or throwing hints when really she's just projecting her own feelings onto me while attempting to analyze my behavior. To make matters worse most tend not to actually confront you about these feelings maybe because even they realize they might just be overthinking? You ask "what's wrong?" And get the infamous "I'm fine" Then since you couldn't read her mind or interpret her vague passive aggressive "hints" she thinks you just don't understand her and might even claim you don't care about her at all. The number 1 personality trait I look for in a woman is "thinking" over "feeling" and I want her to be direct and clear about whats going on in her mind. Im attracted to femininity but I get frustrated by it at the same time. I would love to have an INTJ and I feel like I'd just naturally vibe well with one.

[@bowenarrow2213]

Rational woman?.. .oh thats a good one. Tell me another one!

[@franlawrence6954]

Wait... what? how? I’m not even pursued by men. My BFF says it’s because I’m very independent and seem ‘taken’ already.... and... that I’m lousy at flirting. Actually, I’m great at flirting... unless I like someone... then I’ll ignore then as I try to blend into the wallpaper if I can’t run away fast enough.

[@rickterrance4981]

But Im not sure you're actually an INTJ a lot of your reasoning seems to stem from a place of narcissism and ego (no offense) and while you might have a logical reason in doing the things you do I think thats more of an excuse to simply be in control. You said it yourself you want a more passive quiet easy going type of man that will let you guide and control everything y'all do. The sex alarm thing and the whole "leave my apartment its 10am" demand kind of reminds me of the classic "toilet seat" rule. (Which I refuse to follow because complete and total nonsense) You know.. the whole "You almost killed me when you left the toilet seat up because I was trying to sit on it in the dark and I almost fell into the toilet and hurt myself thanks to you I told you not tp do that." It isn't really about the toilet seat or the supposed danger it poses its just about control. You seem like you might have OCD or at least be on that spectrum. Ive noticed lately the last 10 years but especially within the previous 5 women seem to be adopting a more masculine ego. I think its a byproduct of the feminist rhetoric y'all are bombarded with from the media . The whole " strong independent special intellectual " thing. Im not saying I know you aren't an INTJ personality just that ego can influence one's behaviour or rationale for said behavior. Just my opinion though so take it for what its worth.

[@oliverf2924]

I am INTJ as well and I can only relate to small parts of what was said in the video, I think you are on to something

[@yelenaanatoly7632]

@@oliverf2924 she seems to treat intj as an aesthetic

[@knowuh6938]

yeah i wonder if she ever stopped to consider that she might just be an annoying person

[@marcelobasilio3786]

So what do you think her type is? ENTJ, ESFP, ISTP?

[@yelenaanatoly7632]

@@marcelobasilio3786 esfp

[@angelchase7857]

I'm currently on my way down into the rabbit hole of watching intj related videos which I find rather relatable. I found the part where guys are just investments rather funny because it is true. But what baffles is how well you blended in to society. In my culture guys who are rather gutsy is rare so my personality would instantly repel those prospective suitors. I don't find myself interesting, well interesting enough to attract guys, nor am I attractive and I feel like I'm always part of the boys which is rather odd as I try to portray myself as feminine. All in all I do agree with that fact that relationships are a two way street, effort should be made both way in order to keep them. I find your experiences helpful!

[@neferausar7090]

Hello are you an INTJ?

[@anielyantra1]

I love the phrase; 'Spontaneity dose not fit into my schedule'.... ooooh, the irony!

[@Xoruam]

"I feel like spontaneity does not fit into my schedule" LMAO, I loved this one xD

[@alutzlft]

I love to plan spontaneity. My first partner thought i was super spontaneous, hahaha poor soul...

[@gingerredshoes]

Hahaha not wanting to spend money on dates, so relatable.

[@roisingrant]

INTJ woman here, 21 years old, NEVER been in a relationship. I just don't believe in forcing something that could distract me from my studies/work/savings. I'm waiting until I'm financially free lol

[@NetSpectre]

I'm an INTJ male. Generally speaking I love strong authoritative, "masculine traits" in a girl who can fit in well with the guys etc. I prefer that to the 'princess' types for sure. I love planning days ahead of time etc too. But I would be terrified at the prospect of someone setting an actual timer of 30 mins for our "time" together then telling me to get out because basically 'time is up'. I dont think two INTJ's go together somehow (I believe I read this somewhere too). Then again, us INTJs prefer to be alone anyways than in a bad relationship (and just generally). I like to think of my mind as a Fortress. The exterior has high walls, a moat, a portcullis, a drawbridge, and archers on the walls. If someone actually makes it in, via a prolonged siege, then they are generally trusted for being so persistent and successful (no timers would get set on personal time or anything, I'll be easy going). But make one mistake and you go straight back outside the walls and the drawbridge comes up. Door slam style. Back to square one.

[@sidrahareem3808]

INTJ woman here who never dated her entire life...I kinda relate to what she said

[@sidrahareem3808]

Hey guys it's been an year and guess what? I'm still single

[@zaidhajju2804]

Hey you are from which country? You are a Muslim INTJ woman do you believe in Islam? I'm an INFJ Male just curious to know your thoughts.

[@Maka_tashe]

I'm an INTJ according to the MBTI, I pretty much fit into most of the character description,I truly am very logical, argumentative and generally know a whole lot about almost anything, but I think I am more spontaneous when it comes to my schedules, they are usually flexible and I think differently about dating, I'm willing to be wrong sometimes and apologize but I do have that tendency of over logicising everything about the relationship

[@NFSMAN50]

ENFP and INTJ work out so well. ENFP men, we tend to be attracted to INTJ women, because they are so unconventional, out there, don't fit the norms, because we don't fit societal norms either.

[@hibasart4147]

ESTP as well

[@smilesmile1237]

ENFP is a red flag for me. they are just a mess^^

[@xophaser]

I got intj 2x on the 16 personality test (over 4 years span) I am a male here. not sure about the timer thing unless it is related to work.

[@kirayoshikagecat]

As an INTJ woman am i the only one who feels selfish and thinks perceiving my dreams are more important than finding someone to love? I feel like if you are confident in yourself and are satisfied with your goals, then your fated person will find their way to you themselves. I just dont want to commit any relationship, but if i do, it would be till the entire of my life.

[@thelydshow]

honestly the moment I stopped looking for love it kind of happened

[@juliequezada2385]

Exactly 😊 from another intj female you got the intro correctly 🎉

[@artnuwa11]

Hilarious. I'm a 53 years old INTJ female. Thanks for sharing

[@heathermcdowellmusic]

i just got dumped a few days ago(ended on good terms tho, also INTJ here), perfect timing

[@thelydshow]

awww :/

[@MultiBalto123]

INTJ male here, it sounds amazing.

[@justsomenobody889]

What very relatable content! I can relate a lot to not liking how other women act; I already have to constantly destroy people's expectations of what kind of person I am at my core ("yes, I really do mostly just like to spend my time solving complex problems and I'm not interested in my emotions") which is sometimes exhausting. I'd even say I was misogynistic when I was younger... after over a decade of getting to know so many women throughout my scientific career though, it makes me feel rather ugly looking back on my attitude. These are ultimately just value judgments after all, which are inherently subjective, and if I ask myself "why do I care anyway?" Well, then I have to admit that I care about what other people think of me, that I care what MEN think of me, supposedly because I relate to them more but probably because of my ego .. besides, if all women were like us, I think the world would be too homogenous and monotonous. We'll have to settle for proving via our very existence that it's possible for women to be the way we are.

[@ivan5844]

I’m and Intj man and I’m not gonna lie I am in love with an Intj woman

[@thelydshow]

best of luck mate

[@leejohnson3270]

Retook the test, Im less introverted! now I'm 93% instead of 96%... (surprises surprises I'm still a intj)

[@ainurhanayusof9052]

so relatable. i LOLed at the timer part. definitely did that 😂

[@alejuju767]

For some reason (as an intj 18 male) I say if everyone on earth was an intj the world would be a better place, anyone agree?

[@aishaadam7473]

I am intp female and I am highly logical oriented which makes relation very hard for me but still Intj are too unreasonably series and intense to me ‘She is always right’ that is illogical self entitlement women created, I think no body is right all the time and every situation can be right or wrong depends on how each partners perceive, to be open and willing to understand where others person coming from is very important

[@rasamasala]

I'm an INTP and I think I'd like to meet an INTJ and be friends. I blew air out of my nose at the part where you mentioned you would schedule specific time slots to hang out. I do the same thing, except I can never stick to my own time slots lol.

[@marwanshamsia]

An INTP is like the only personality type that totally gets INTJs and can challenge them mentally ( sometimes exceed them, lol just poking fun ), finds them funny and kinda looks up to them in how they got their shit together

[@rasamasala]

@@marwanshamsia Lol, I agree with this. I have an new INTJ friend and its usually pretty fun. He def keeps me on my toes in terms of knowing my facts and stuff. And Im usually the one that knows how to do pretty much everything. So we essentially work well together. But Im usually right most of the time (I jest lol). I can def notice his Te and Fi alot and it makes for fun differences when observed. So he's better at telling people what to do and organizing our group while im the one that know how to get something working or fixing something.

[@paleaspaper4161]

The Myers Briggs test that everyone goes to gives me INFJ and I can see how I could be an INFJ, but I identify myself so much more to an INTJ. I took a more in depth and by their definition “Accurate” Personality test and it was INTJ. And now I’m frustrated. Being a woman especially, that feeling of not identifying as a women first is something I can definitely relate to, and being so rigid with studying and routine, especially more obvious now that I’m in a relationship. In college I met my best friend who is also an INTJ and we get along like bread and butter when it comes to conversations, and working together, we are kind of freaked out by eachother because of how similar we are, and both have have been called sheldon from big band theory in our family😂. I look at INFJ as more of an unhealthy side of myself rather than my personality.