What’s the most badass line you’ve heard your players say? 🅿️2

[@KingTaltia]

Not gonna lie; "Congratulations, you've just killed the one person who could've saved you" is SUCH a metal line.

[@sairus3239]

For some reason this reminds me of the game on PS1 that if you're going to talk to everyone and raise relationships with all available NPCs then the final boss will get stronger because one of those NPCs is his daughter and he needs to kill her to get to his full powers which only happens if player getting friends with her will make him feel threatened or something like that.

[@Nikoli492]

Sounds like Warhammer 40k in a nutshell. More or less.

[@abadidea5984]

Villain: "How would you like to die?" Party Member: "By turning 90." >draws sword

[@TwoHeadedMeerkat]

"By all means then! I'll give you a countdown."

[@ForeverDegenerate]

We were going into a Boss Fight with a Hag and our Barbarian turned to me and was like, "Ummm... so how do we kill her?" I turned to him and smirked, "Axe to Neck should suffice." As fate would have it, the Barbarian landed the killing blow. DM: "How do you want to do this?" Barbarian: "As my Elven friend told me going into this fight... Axe to Neck should suffice."

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

short, but glorious.

[@Nextad_]

According to my DM I had the best moment. In a 3.5 campaign my Ravenfolk tantrist (yes we were using the BoEF) was a father figure to a vampire queen. He doted on her, and she had given him a ring of wish. The DM said that this wish was uncorruptable, meaning what I said was what I got. In the final act of the campaign, the World Devourer, a serpent of indescribable size, was going to destroy our land. The only party members that he cared about (a dragonborn barbarian and a goblin ranger) were slain by the beast, and his daughter was about to be taken as well, when he finally used the ring. "I wish for the power to slay this beast and this beast alone. No matter what price I must pay." With that utterance, his body began to emit a fire-like energy. His body slowly began to turn to pure magic. He knew that he had no time to think. His cloak became a pair of wings as he took to the sky, flying until he was at eye level with this god-like being. The raven pointed a singular clawed finger at the beast, thought of his friends who perished, and his daughter, who was in danger and said a single word: "Nevermore" with that a brilliant beam of light emitted from his finger, as it pierced the beast, the ravens body became pure magic, fueling this attack. The only thing left of him was a single feather, brimming with magic. This became an artifact called The Raven's Gift

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

Wonderful! What a send-off! I can very much see why your DM liked that scene so much.

[@umecoalpaw7573]

Beautiful! Any idea what the artifact did? Or was it just some veguely magic item with no real bonuses or effects?

[@baconlovingvampire4523]

Bro your character became a legend that other people would set out on adventures to become like you.

[@NoBloons]

The raven said nevermore. Fuck thats good

[@savvivixen8490]

Incredible swan song. Awesome legacy!

[@justinn8541akaDrPokemon]

Monk to armored oponent: You need to have armor and weapons to be a threat. I only need my hands and feet.

[@kingmasterlord]

way of astral self dont even need that

[@TwoHeadedMeerkat]

"But I _am_ a threat."

[@justinn8541akaDrPokemon]

@@TwoHeadedMeerkat Monk: Sure you are. *Does massive damage to him*

[@TwoHeadedMeerkat]

​@@justinn8541akaDrPokemon (Aww, I was going off the fact that you called him a "threat" even if he did need weapons...C'mon, you can make a better comeback than that! :D)

[@justinn8541akaDrPokemon]

@@TwoHeadedMeerkat Ok fair enough. 1. Monk: In the 20 minutes it took you and your squire to put on your armor, I already had 20 ways to defeat you. 2. Monk: Is that your best armor? Armored Enemy: Of course! Cost a lot, but it’s worth every coin. Monk: So you admit you needed money to try to match my power.

[@dragoknight589]

“I can do that three more times if you fancy.” - Our Magus (PF2e campaign) after dealing so much damage the DM had to give the boss a second healthbar.

[@alexanderlucard4810]

Stealing THAT one for my magus character.

[@ShalkaChannel]

Welp, I had a recent fight with my Goliath Bard Luchador, El Caldero de Sangre- a real mirror match, he fought another Goliath Luchador, a mob boss by the name of Roderigo Baratas. It was a battle without honor or humanity, and Baratas managed to make my character commit some fatal mistakes, as he used his powers to collapse the inn they were standing in without realizing there were still people in it. El caldero was tricked, taunted, kicked under the belt, but in the end, he finally got the upper hand on Roderigo. As his opponent was gasping for air on the ground after a souplex and barely clinging to life, El Caldero kneels next to him and says. “You made me less of what I was, and I will never be the same for it. I could accept it, you know? But… right now.. the only thing I want you to remember, in your most intimate moments, in the privacy of your hideout, every time you think of hurting anyone close to me or not…” And then he clamped his hands on Roderigo’s neck “…I want you to remember my hands gripping your throat.” A moment passes, as Roderigo takes on a terrified expression… and then el Caldero casts Cure Wounds. “Go, knowing you live by my will.”

[@spiritlaw]

HOLY FUCKING BASED

[@Lurks-a-lot]

“You can only wash off the blood that others see. The rest of it is a burden. Yours will be a gift.”

[@slickwillie5681]

Dude in my group played a pally and just used all of Joshua Grahams lines. Had that shit memorized.

[@yaburu]

Oh that must have been amazing for him to deliver all those lines. Did he get to do the "I will illuminate three" speech?

[@Drocksas]

I am SO stealing this for a Conquest Paladin at some point

[@MultiFan30]

"The time for talk has passed. The Lord's work must be done."

[@MaxwellKent]

One of my party was playing a Half-Orc Paladin of Redemption with the Criminal Background, and he was trying desperately to redeem HIMSELF to make up for the fact he was a fairly notorious bandit for about a decade. He kept falling back into bad habits, and would do his penance, make his apologies, and start over, rinse lather repeat. He also developed a reputation as someone you could NOT hide anything from due to the players habit of rolling Nat 20's on Insight and Investigation checks, making him seem prescient to others, which HE would ascribe to 'first hand knowledge, gathered in the Bad Day'. A big part for his struggles is he kept thinking about himself, how he was perceived, when he would attain Redemption, that sort of stuff. Finally, we ended up in one of the Hell levels, and kind of accidentally assassinated some high ranked Devils and their entourages, meaning we were fleeing with a bunch of freed slaves to a Teleport Circle to escape. The wizard was firing up his last spell to get us OUT OF THERE, when the DM pointed out that there wasn't room in the Circle for all the slaves and us. Without thinking, Grashta'ar Bonechewer stepped out of the circle, put the last group of children into the adults arms, and reassured them that it would be all right. Then he turned, drew his Great Sword, and charged the Devil army, screaming at the top of his lungs "Blade with whom I have lived, Blade with whom I now die, Serve Right and Justice one last time, Seek one last heart of Evil, Still one last life of pain, Cut well old friend, and then, Farewell!" The last any of the party saw was enormous golden and white feathered wings erupting from his back, the smell of rose water overwhelming the sulfurous stench, and a clear resonant chiming in the air. When they died several years later, who should meet them at the Gates of Eternity? Grashta'ar, in his job as advocate for the newly arrived souls. His quote was stolen directly from Sir Orrin-Nevvile Smythe, but that didn't change how awesome he was.

[@christopherbravo1813]

Here I had thought he got it from AllThingsDND Did he become an Angel or an Archon?

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

@@MaxwellKent what a memorable and badass send-off. Very nice.

[@MaxwellKent]

@@christopherbravo1813 Personal Attendant to his God actually, he spent half his time arguing why the recently dead should be allowed in and the other half managing his God's personal schedule to ensure that all the Major Things happen when they should.

[@christopherbravo1813]

@@MaxwellKent wow

[@jungko0216]

For the last one i thought it would be : "We are all doomed to meet Death at some point; with this ring I shall soon become Lady Death 's husband, and you shall be my witnesses."

[@Sigismund-von-Luxembourg]

One line I remember from a player in a game of CoC was "He was looking for a lifeline, but all I had was an anchor." his character was a hard boiled detective type and we were all on a noir kick.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

nice one.

[@redman7775]

This was a magic school style campaign. Our party and some NPC were running from an avatar of a god of an opposing faction. Everyone was escaping into underground tunnels, and my character held the line. The avatar had my little dragonborn Azazel impaled on metal wings, grinning and generally being a piece of shit. He says to this child that, "once I'm done with you, your friend will be next. Did you really think you could even stop me? Slow me down, even?" Azazel replies with, "every second I keep you busy is a second of distance my friend get." The avatar laughs, saying, "well then, let's speed this up. Any last words before you perish for your insolence?" Azazel pulls out a family hierloom, which is the magic equivalent of a small nuke, locks eyes with the now very scared avatar, and says the activation phrase. "Long live the king." Queue a titanic explosion that levels half of the enemy city, kills the avatar and lets his friends escape. He later rendezvous with them because a god on our side kept him from dying in the blast. NPCs and party: "HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALIVE?!" Azazel, who's just barely able to exist right now: "My death was...greatly exaggerated." These lines were within about half an hour real time of one another.

[@Sladeraptor17]

My death was greatly exaggerated is from command and conquer. Kanes return.

[@christopherbravo1813]

Bro, is every line from this guy a reference?

[@Waterydrew]

I was at work listening to the video when I came across the story at 10:09. I had a DM that used a similar idea to what was being described and chuckled to myself because they never like it when any of their players finds their inspiration for game material, since the less we know the more entertaining the sessions are. As the story continued, I'd found it funny that they even copied the names of the NPCs because they're typically very creative and pride themselves on it (rightfully so). I found the rivalry between the fighter and Hax entertaining, but I FROZE when I heard the fighter's name. Maez. My Character (Also a fighter) was called Merdon Maez and I had just listened to the story that I played less than a year ago. It took me so long to realize that the story I was listening to was about my DM's world, and my character. I've been a subscriber to the MrRipper channel for a couple years now and I have considered sharing one of my stories. I feel extremely honored to hear my own tale on the channel, and to my DM and older brother, thank you for sharing this. I love you, your world and my time in it. Hope you're all healthy and safe reading this. EDIT: After speaking to them, my DM confirmed that it was actually January this year.

[@L-Rafa22]

The player in this scenario was a dhampir cleric, after a hard battle against the vampire lord that transformed her parents into vampire spawns she simply crouched to face the vampire dead in the eyes and told him "I'm not letting you die, I will make you feel every single bit of pain you once inflict into the innocents you killed"

[@FredrickTesla]

Was playing Shadowrun as a snarky british punk boxer, Physical Adept class (think kung fu magic.) He had the rare mutation disease and had grown 2 extra arms, armored skin, and mood color hair. People like him were kidnapped and their parts traded on the black market. Bbeg was the CEO of a multinational corporation, and had transmitted directly to our characters comms units. he's in the middle of another one of his speeches and he says to my character. "Do you have any idea how much you're worth?" And before he could continue, my character says "Bitch, I'm priceless!" And hangs up on him. Even the GM had to pause cause he was smiling so big.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

You just got to love adepts. The stuff they can pull after getting even just moderate amounts of karma is just incredible... Years ago I had a ton of fun with a bear-shapeshifter mystic adept (so cross between normal adept and spell-flinger). This was in SR-4, a system I run to this day, but back then I was just a player. You see, Alex Paw (the bear shapeshifter in question) was once an Urban Brawl star in the NAN and later the AGS before he quit and became a trid-star. A global celebrity to be exact. Which more often that not meant he was the diversion for the rest of the team in some fashion or other. It should be noted that the movies he took part in were basically in the style of Bud Spencer & Terence Hill movies. To make matters worse, as a bear shapeshifter he has both strength and body attributes that make your average troll blush. (13 and 11 respectively). I guess you can see where this is going... At one point they were tasked with capturing a guy who was supposed to be dealing with bioweapons. So when that guy left a seedy club, he got the Bud Spencer-treatment. Bonk on the head. Problem is, on the adept side of things, Alex also has Critical Strike 6. Adding a flat 6 to the damage of unarmed attacks.Which meant that although he had tried to just knock the guy out, he ended up with so much bleed-over into physical that he had a single point left. Played it off as a scene for a new movie of his, bagged the guy and left after giving a couple autographs. On a different occasion he was on a run while in his bear-shape to protect his identity. Went into some Renraku facility to retrieve something. On the way back the team runs into a squad of Red Samurai - and if you are familiar with the setting you know what that means. Power-armor, swords, and fully-automatic weapons. To make matters worse, someone injected Alex with a dose of K-10 - a nasty nasty combat drug that triggers a berserk rage upon taking damage - in addition to a substantial attribute boost: Body +3, Dex +3, Strength +6, Will +1, +3 initiative passes, and High Pain Tolerance 3. Add that to his already scary statline and you can imagine what happened... Supposedly the idea was to have him butcher his own team, but the opposite turned out to happen. Within a single turn of combat this SUV-sized bear wiped out four of the five red samurai. Was forced to burn a point of Edge to get out of the berserk state at the end though. But good grief, he really hammered home that you should never ever underestimate or even poke a bear.... the only reason he survived this rampage was the regeneration shapeshiftes get, which scales with body attribute. Which even for shapeshifters is no mean feat since K-10 deals a whopping 18 mental damage when it wears off - without a resist-check. On top of the damage he took in combat.

[@FredrickTesla]

@@ranekeisenkralle8265 dude, 4e was the best. It's the only one my group runs. We've got like 5 backup copies of Chummer since it's getting impossible to find consistently. My boxer was named Strong of Spirits, because his arete for like 1/4th of his buffs was that he had to drink a mixed drink that someone else mixed. Well, the DM also said it had to actually effect him. And after the first time the mutations triggered, he became immune to poisons... Regular non magical alcohol stopped working. Without that he didn't have explosive element on his punches, and that when he ended up with 6 arms by the end, going without that seriously dropped his destructive capabilities.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

@@FredrickTesla that also sounds pretty fun. Wouldn't want to get into a bar fight between Alex and your guy though... ..that would be rather messy. Would be one hell of a crowd-drawing spectacle though.

[@tehrulefoo]

A high cleric of Pelor who was secretly a demon worshiper attempted to kill the party, but they managed to escape. So the high cleric sent paladins after them to arrest them for false charges. The party opted not to resist arrest, but instead tried to explain the situation to the paladins, and were able to convince them the church had been taken over from the inside. The party Barbarian then said "The high Cleric has a disease that's going to kill him." The paladins then ask why he wouldn't just cure it, since he's a powerful cleric. And the barbarian replied "He tried once. It didn't work. Next time I'll get him."

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

*chuckles* Okay, that's a good one. some things are difficult to cure indeed...

[@pcalix17]

There is a lot of speciesism in some of the games I DM. One such moment is when a township of humans wanted to lynch a group of four goblins simply for showing their faces in town and trying to buy things with the gold they had. They pleaded for mercy in poorly accented common but the township wouldn't have it. When a public pronouncement of death by incineration was declared, the township cheered for the righteous punishment as the goblins sobbed in dismay. A human warrior named Bartholomew Jebediah ran through the crowd, barging people out of the way in his warpath up to the judge who was already shouting at him to stop. Instead of drawing his Warhammer to strike the man down, the warrior spread his arms and challenged the judge with, "If you think you are righteous, draw your weapon and prove it. Either way, these people are coming with me." The judge summoned the guards to defend himself but to his surprise, not one of the guards came to his aid. Facing a duel alone, the judge cowered before the warrior and grudgingly released his prisoners. The warrior told the freed goblins to stay near him as he retraced his steps and out of town. Not one person blocked his way even as the judge ranted and raved for them to arrest the warrior who had defied him. The group found out after months of adventure that the township had overthrown the judge a few weeks after the confrontation, charged with persecuting innocent people who had done no crimes and worse, selling some such prisoners into slavery for personal profit. It was poetic justice that his punishment by his replacement was death by incineration.

[@albinoreaper2949]

I’m the player in this scenario, but nevertheless I think this is probably my best on-the-fly line I’ve ever said. My character was on the ropes by a side villain, and we were both at low HP. He had separated the party and was trying to pick us off one by one with his minions, but I got lucky and found him first. At the end of the fight, he pins me to the wall by my neck and asks me, “I have ended many bloodlines before, but none as pathetic as yours. What do you think of this?” As I roll a nat 20 with disadvantage on impaling him with my shotgun-glaive, I say to him “Killing broods of flies doesn’t count,” before I shot him into the far wall, dealing 104 damage. As he’s teleporting away and doing the whole “I will return, and I will have my vengeance!” sctick, I look him dead in the eyes and say, “If you run, you’ll only die tired.”

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

a nat 20 on a disadvantage? Good grief, those are some steep odds. Nice moment though.

[@albinoreaper2949]

@@ranekeisenkralle8265 it’s funny, I never, and I mean NEVER, get nat 20’s unless in an important plot moment. Pointless statement, but ask anyone I play with, and they’ll say the same thing.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

@@albinoreaper2949 yeah.. for me the dice often also fall right in line with what is suitable for the story. Sometimes uncannily so. I posted a rather lengthy example of exactly that in my own comment under this video. May need to scroll a bit if you are curious. Lengthy because it required a bit of setting the stage due to the campaign now being running for several years. All the way from I think Lv3 to now Lv 19 so far. We are nearing the climax, but we need to hurry a bit because one of the players recently got diagnosed with terminal cancer and I'd like for them to witness the end of that campaign.

[@albinoreaper2949]

@@ranekeisenkralle8265 damn, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope they get to see the end, and win the fight! I’ve known a couple of people who have, so it’s not impossible.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

@@albinoreaper2949 I sure hope so, too. Time will tell. She's such a sweet and humorous girl, too - which only makes those news sting even more.

[@djmagichat1721]

Two moments from my current campaign: one was mine, the other goes to my friend who introduced me to the group. Some context: earlier in this campaign, my character was so lacking in worldly experience and wisdom that whenever the BBEG showed up, he froze. In one such instance, he couldn't even do a simple introduction, and when someone else did it for him, she (the BBEG) looks right at my character and says, "There...was that so hard?" Fast forward to our fight with her. We have her on the ropes, and she's starting to rant and rave like she's actually losing her mind. My elf wizard, having finally had enough, stands up from behind his cover, yells, "Oh, would you just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!?" and fires Disintegrate straight at her. She avoided it via Legendary Resistance, but the DM described her as staring at my character absolutely horrified, like she couldn't believe I was capable of that. A couple rounds later, I was unconscious and my friend delivered the final blow. He then ran over and got me on my feet; i asked, "Where is she?" He just pointed. I walk over to her smoldering corpse (Heat Metal is devastating to anyone in enough metal armor), hands behind his back, leans down into her corpse's face, and mockingly says, "There...was that so hard?" and walks away. My friend, however...his line was even more badass to me, and still gives me chills when I think about it. Context: We had a chance to interrogate one of the three elves who successfully conspired to sabotage my character's father's research. My friend's character is our party's face. Charisma for days. Usually pretty jolly. As the betrayer starts to stumble over feeble attempts to strike a bargain with us, my friend says three little words: "I stop smiling." Even our DM looked slightly horrified at that.

[@beancandev7818]

Both of these are sick as hell

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

I got a few, but this one is probably near the top of the list. (Edit: should note that I am a player in this scenario) To set the scene: The party (at this point around Lv 17 or 18) came to a country called the “Grand Duchy of Leron” or Leron for short. It is predominantly populated by gnomes and dwarves and at the time was in the opening stages of a civil war (which scouts from the party would later reveal to be a plot by the BBEG to sow chaos behind our lines) the two factions were basically gnomes versus dwarves. Leron also happened to be the place of origin of my character Vaeringir: at the time a warforged Battlemaster-Fighter-7 or 8/ Zealot-Barbarian-4/Artillerist-Artificer-4/War-Wizard-2 with a very heavy emphasis on being as durable and tough to kill as possible, including Shield Master feat and Adamantine Plate Armor which he had made for himself around Lv 6 or 7. Reason being, he and his kin were once built for the fantasy-equivalent of WWI trench warfare against the undead hordes of the BBEG (a demigod-level lich of sorts). And since he still had material left over after forging his armor, he then set to work on what would become his Magnum Opus over the course of the campaign. An Adamantine Greatsword intended from the very beginning to one day become the bane of the campaign’s BBEG. Throughout the campaign he took every opportunity to refine and improve this weapon. At one point Moradin himself put a dormant sigil of his own on the sword - the effect of which would not be revealed until much later. Eventually Vaeringir and the party wound up in Leron and stumbled across the place of his creation - and both his creators (just before the following events unfolded). Together they put the finishing touches on the sword and it became a sentient artifact-level weapon based on the Vorpal Blade. Beyond that item’s already impressive capabilities, Libertas (Latin for “Freedom” - from the BBEG to be exact) had three other abilities. The first was a permanent Aura of Life effect out to 30ft. The other were two spells the sword could cast twice per day each - either at the behest of the wielder of on its own accord. Counterspell and Death Ward. Thusly equipped, the party faced two concurrent and very severe challenges: An active permanent teleportation-device atop the mountain that the Dwarven city was built in that threatened the city itself because it had been taken over by the BBEG and was directly connected to the very ley-lines of this world, giving it incredible power, and a gnomish army predominantly comprised of enslaved warforged and other constructs coming to assault the city. The headstrong dwarven prince wanted to take care of the teleportation device, but Vaeringir rejected him, reminding him and his father that the BBEG had previously corrupted heirs of nobility into becoming his puppets. Instead he volunteered his party for this job, asking the prince to instead stall the gnomish army until the threat atop the mountain could be neutralized - which then would free up the party to come to his aid. And thanks to a nat-20 on the persuasion check, this was what happened. Up atop the mountain after a bossfight, the dormant sigil was awakened for the first time in the campaign, and the device (which the sorcerer had thankfully managed to disconnect from the ley lines) got cloven in two. However, there was so much residual energy in that device that it exploded soon after - just barely giving Vaeringir enough time to pick up his shield, get a fair bit away and brace in front of the party, using every ounce of defensive capabilities he had to shield his companions. The explosion all but annihilated the peak of that mountain - save for a jagged and blackened cliff on which the party now stood. With one prong of the attack neutralized, Vaeringir’s shield burned to a crisp, and somewhat low on resources such as spell slots, the party made their way down the mountain - atop the paladin’s griffon and the sorcerer who had polymorphed into a dragon for the bossfight - and right into the next battle against an entire army. Due to the scale of this battle the party got scattered a bit. Eventually the bulk of the party dealt with the massive constructs the attackers had brought along (three of them) while the rogue and cleric got tasked with saving as many dwarves as possible. Which the rogue then very creatively interpreted and dragged the cleric off toward the enemy base to obtain the enemy’s battle plans. This in turn meant that Vaeringir was left behind alone dealing with the warforged and the few gnomish officers controlling them. Eventually he ran into the enemy general whom he knew from his own past when he had once served in the Leron army. The General mocked the other warforged and sent some of his puppets to distract him while supposedly landing a killing blow. All the while the general was mocking and belittling the warforged. And then it happened. "Leron used me as a tool in the past. And today it forced my hand and made me a kinslayer. You think I still care about anything you or any Leron official has to say?" Vaeringir struck home with a vicious blow angled slightly upward from lower left to upper right, knocking the gnome off-balance. "With one blow I annihilated the peak of Mount Kandath! And now. I shall annihilate. YOU!" With a blow powerful enough to slice a rock in two, Vaeringir reverted the swing of Libertas into a horizontal strike, aimed directly at the gnome's neck - and against the combined might of both Libertas and Vaeringir's unbridled fury the gnomish general's armor might as well have been made of paper with how little it was able to prevent what was to follow. Vaeringir cut off any response the general might have wanted to give - quite literally so. His mighty blade held extended at the end of his strike for a moment, Vaeringir gave an unsettlingly satisfied smile as he watched the gnome's head and helmet roll backwards off his shoulders a moment before the body collapsed into a bloody heap

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

in case you are curious, yes.. that second attack was indeed a nat-20 thanks to Reckless Attack

[@alexandergaier4468]

My Wizard pc to the giant evil dragon in the final battle " I know what your children taste like, I made sure to eat their hearts and when this is done I'll eat yours too!" this was a battle-cry meant to antagonize the BBEG, it worked he mostly only targeted my pc

[@JnEricsonx]

Still love what I got to say in my first game. My rogue is facing off against my backstory mentor, who betrayed my backstory party which got them all killed. Mentor: Hey, I didn't lift a finger to help them attack you!" Me with a nocked arrow: If I lift THIS FINGER, you're you're going to have trouble breathing.

[@TwoHeadedMeerkat]

Definitely could have been phrased better. Something about it just sounds a little...I dunno, meek? If someone shouted that to me, I wouldn't be anymore intimidated than I would being held at bowpoint by anyone else. It just feels like the kind of threat a young teenager would say, rather than a cold, calm finisher. "Fair point, you didn't lift a finger. Unfortunately for you...I will bear no such regrets." It's not great of course, not much to go off of with that premise. But there's definitely _some_ potential there

[@JnEricsonx]

@@TwoHeadedMeerkat My character is still relatively young, only about 20. Im was basically throwing her words back at her, basically if I lift my bowstring fingers, I'll be putting a arrow in her throat. :) Also, my char is so damn furious at this point....

[@JnEricsonx]

@@TwoHeadedMeerkat Also, it was one of those "you had to be there" moments to hear my tone. :)

[@cearlach32]

I have one I've been saving "Keep doing that and you wont regret it. (pause for effect) Because the dead cant have regrets"

[@thorclarke8600]

Party necromancer/warlock chimes in: "actually they very much can. I'll make sure of it"

[@majinsole8554]

“As you wish.” Badass. ~_~

[@SchwererGustavThe800mm]

Was in a chaotic good mercenary group with a Barbarian that had a tendency for cannibalism named 'Baylan The Devourer', a Druid Cleric and a Fire Wizard named 'Butane, The Antithesis of Arson' who loved, and I mean absolutely LOVED fire. (I was a Battle Master Knight, Baylan and I were the muscle of the group) We fought, killed and chased a raiding party of Drow back into the cave they left the Underdark from. We'd killed a great many of em in the moonlight but when the sun was coming up we had em in full retreat back to where they came from. We all surrounded the entrance as we heard them bellowing and yelling curses at us from within. Then Butane and Baylan dropped the hardest one liner AND rebuttal one liner I've ever heard in my entire life. Butane pulled a cigar from his robe, stuck the cigar in his mouth, snapped his fingers lighting a flame that burned atop his thumb and as he started to light his cigar he said: "Hey Baylan, I hope you like your 'Darkies' medium rare.." to which Baylan scoffed and IMMEDIATELY replied: "Just run em through the flames on the way out.." To which Butane then proceeded to cast various fire spells and we started burning our way into the cave 😂😂😂

[@EmersonWhite-2y]

As my barbarian got grappled by a red dragon and flown high into the sky after a while he managed to free himself but by that time he was about 600ft in the air. He than climbed onto his back and yelled” just me and you big boy” and he slashed the dragons wings plummeting both of them in to the freezing ocean. But I was a LizardFolk and they have a swim speed and can hold their breath for 15min. The dragon being a red dragon didn’t fair so well in the water😅

[@Xecryo]

Dragonborn Fighter: *With a Badger and Giant Badger pull from a bag of tricks* Badger Legion, CHARGE!

[@rinthewolf]

BBEG gives a monolog about how he's immortal, and nothing we can do will stop him. So our fighter rolls to intimidate and says, "being immortal only means you'll suffer longer."

[@libraveggie4451]

One my first characters, a fighter who used to be a whaling captain whos entire goal was "To do Something worthy of a song" He the name of Captain Gaul. Came down to the final duel against a necromantic pirate lord, who coincidntally was his nephew. The final blow was struck with Gaul's spear through the little bastards chest. The dark fueled fleet quickly began to sink. Gaul went to leave but the kid went to get back up. Something about a curse that he won't die until he reached the ocean floor. Gaul only thought for a minute and said "Then let me tske you there." As he plunged the spear back in and went down with the ship, letting his remaining party escape. Suffice to day. He died heroically and even got his song in the end (We used Captain Crow from the Sea Beast. Who he was based on~)

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

PANR has tuned in.

[@JnEricsonx]

:40-Travis Willingham, is that you?

[@JLD22591]

Glad that I'm not the only one with that question. Haha

[@JnEricsonx]

@@JLD22591 Im biased, I've met the man twice.

[@Comrade2261]

​@@JnEricsonx Awesome!

[@JnEricsonx]

@@Comrade2261 Oh, CR and BG3 made me finally start looking for a game. Meeting all of CR helped. And I found one. Didn't last too long(DM moved), am in a new one now, and the man himself told me that between my Barb, Pally, and Warlock ideas I should play a Warlock, which I may at some point.

[@Manicies]

First round of combat against an enemy called the Desecrator lord: "Degenerate lord, can we get on with this?" And crit on a spell that was already doing 12d6 damage. Second round, when all the matrials had run in and he was focusing on them. "Defenestrator lord, you've been focusing on the wrong targets." Castr that same spell again, crit again, and killed him.

[@tjsupertramp9909]

Hi! It's me again, with a follow-up styory from the Tales of Salamandastron. Sorry for the length, I love me some backstory buildup! Following the death of Rexus, The Cutest Little Kobold That Ever Was, and the intense descent into madness and disdain, Sal found himself wandering, slaying many bandits and highwaymen, and an occasional citizen who sought not to pay him for his work. Eventually, he came under the employ of Merchant Sailor/Pirate Lord, 'Brindled' Brynden Bellamy. He would serve as a crew mate aboard Bellamy's Ship, the Wailing Gail. He would serve faithfully, as Sal saw Lord Bellamy as a kind man, who treated him fairly and with respect. After some 10 years, Sal had been appointed as Bellamy's First Mate. Sal, was also tasked with overseeing Bellamy's son Ildaryn, a half-elven bastard. This boy, only 11, hadn't know the truth of the crew and thought his father was just the famed Merchant Captain, and proprietor of Bellamy's Bounties. On one voyage, the Crew of the Wailing Gail were set upon by another band of pirates. Utterly swamped, and completely outnumbered, the Wailing Gail suffered many casualties. Nearly among them were both Sal and Ildaryn.Sal had been terribly wounded, but thanks to his barbarian rage, the damage he sustained was halved, and he was brought down to 1HP. As Ildaryn was cornered, Sal rose to his feet as blood poured from his abdomen. He raised his axe and carved one of the invaders in two as a result of, what I believe to be my greatest natural 20 ever rolled. As the pirate's body landed on the deck, through pain and blood, he said, "I saw my own son die in front of me. I have been tormented for the past decade with the visions and the memory. The pain which I have endured is nothing compared to that which you will experience if you don't throw yourselves overboard, right now. The sharks will be kinder. I promise." With a successful intimidation check, the remaining two pirates leapt to the safety of the rough tides of the Orvak Sea.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

that's badass indeed. On death's doorstep and still throwing around threats. And the dice approved indeed.

[@miken5448]

Our DM did a really great job of building the tension that made this scene scary. Which led to the most badass I've felt in a DnD session. The party was hunting bandits and monsters in the forest for posted bounties. We decided to stop at a small town to buy a horse and cart to transport our proof of the kills. We're surprised to find the small town hosting a few hundred soldiers. We have an Artificer, a sorcerer, and 2 fighters in the party, I am one of the fighters. We decided that the fighters will ask around about what is going on while the magic users find a stables to buy the cart and horse. I suggest we go to a tavern, buy one of the soldiers a couple of drinks, and get him talking. We find a tavern packed full with soldiers. I buy a round of drinks for one table and try toast with them, "To the King's Finest!" The soldiers silently look at me, before turning to look at who we infer to be the officer. He eyes my character up and down, then gives a silent nod to the soldiers at the table. They slowly sip their drinks, still not talking. The other fighter and I start talking at the bar, wondering what is up. We're about to give up and leave when the officer walks up to us. He buys us a drink, intentionally showing off he has a large purse stuffed full of gold. He asks what a couple of adventures are doing here, before remarking that we seem like the type who can handle ourselves. "How fast can you run?" And other questions about our fitness start getting asked. We're both on edge as something is clearly off and the tension keeps rising. After the session ended we both admitted we were getting real life anxiety as the tension reached its peak here. "You ever thought of serving the king? The pay isn't bad." I try to politely decline, but the whole tavern packed full of soldiers stands up and stares threateningly at us. The officer wasn't asking - this was a press gang and we were being drafted. Over 30 of them and just 2 of us at lvl 7, and our buddies who could sort this out with a fireball are on the other side of town, blissfully unaware. My fellow fighter curses them and their king, draws his swords, and dares them to come at him. I act unconcerned and order another drink. - Completely bluffing as I am terrified and just stalling for time to think of a way out - The officer tells me to stand up. "If you insist." I have a thrown weapon build. As I stand up I reach for my daggers and a vial of alchemist fire. ROLL INITIATIVE. DM rolls the soldiers in a few groups. The other fighter gets a crap roll and is dead last in initiative. Every last one of the 30+ soldiers will get to attack before him. I roll last - Nat 20 and I get to go first! I throw the alchemist fire at a cluster of soldiers. Not big damage but a small fire lights on the floor and they jump back. With my last attack I throw my dagger at the officer. Nat 20 CRITICAL HIT!! His soldiers see his head explode faster than they can react. "The rest of you can burn or... your boss HAD a rather heavy purse. You could help yourselves to it while we walk out that door." DM asks for an intimidation check - a 20 with mods! The soldiers start backing up and make a walkway to the exit for us. We head to the stables and tell the other 2 party members we need to get out of town asap. The Artificer asks if something was the matter. My character wipes away some blood on his coat, "Had a bit of a pest control problem."

[@juliusnebulus7303]

Nothing. He said nothing. He just beat up a whole cell of bounty hunters he was locked in with and then just waited to be released... while they were hiding in a corner, scared as shit. Which isn't surprising, regarding he took out two guys with two strikes, one each, without taking a scratch... and almost killing thise guys. Though my mate in the cell next to mine was even more hardcore... he just straight up knocked out a trandoshan in two blows and then used him as a throne. Legendary session😂

[@robertrappaport3610]

NPC Member of the Hellriders: We do not die young! My Wizard: Dying because you failed to solve a problem is not valor. You’re just torch passing suffering to the next generation. I married that NPC.

[@bobbywillowrose]

If there is one lesson here it's DON'T HURT THE SWEETHEART OF THE PARTY!!!!!!!!

[@atomictomfoolery4400]

Gallius, “Noble” Dragonborn after ascending to godhood and addressing the party after the betrayal: “The label of godhood is not meant to be dropped lightly friends, it comes with immortality and near infinite power” “However, if you try to stop me, you *WILL* know this title I am thrusted upon is for very good reason…” RIP Gallius, you were my man.

[@davidaward82]

waaaay back in 2e, the 'fear' spell required you to advance upon your opponent while casting... my almost 100 year old human wizard would shakily stumble forwards, raise his walking cane, and almost timidly say "boo" ... the number of enemies who would fail their saves against that forgetful old fool was hilarious... it got to the point that the gm would visibly wince if someone quietly utterred 'boo' during a monologue.

[@somniferousSirenSocial]

I had given this low level artificer a long term downtime project to make himself a bomb. They had not been able to have downtime yet, but he was taking the time to shape, form, and prepare a classical grenado like bomb. Classic cartoony style. Fifth session, near the end of the first planned 'story' of robbing a gang who were working for a cult of Shar, he interrupts the monologue with three words. "I have a bomb." Holds up what amounts to an inert prop. Rolled Insight for the gang leader and had to explain how this Machete-but-Scottish gang leader goes dead silent. From there the party convinced the gang to leave before they brought the whole building down on top of all of them.

[@shadowdragon-whatif]

Bandit Captain: why won't you go down?! Why will you not die?! Dragonborn: I shall Grant you your one wish. (In a loud and booming voice) Proceeds to remove the ring and blows up everyone.

[@Lurks-a-lot]

“Gods answer to power, not prayer. That’s why they will never hear you.”

[@BubbleSlaya16]

7:46 “so do I” that gave me chills

[@ClareBearBunny]

"Is it possible you're not as well liked as you think you are?"

[@krystlvines]

"As you wish!" Malicious compliance at its best.

[@dantesdragolic4292]

We need more of this

[@Rangy4859]

At 9:08 did anyone else hear Krieg from Borderlands 2?

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

Come to think of it.... yes!

[@TheReallJJ815]

Yeah and it was perfect lol

[@notamaperson5849]

“I don’t believe in death, if I don’t believe it can’t hurt me”. Long death monk talking to a party member before ripping the head of a beholder off at level 5.

[@Jay2KWinger]

As I dealt the killing blow on Strahd von Zarovich with a Nat-20 Divine Smite-powered Sunsword strike, my paladin declared: "In the name of Tyr, Argynvost, and the Morninglord-- SOL INVICTUS!"

[@Snipergod1024]

Upon being hit with a monstrous crit: "Well, I'm dead. How about we meet the Reaper together, friend?" As I was a Barbarian who had die-hard.

[@alanbear6505]

One time I was in a Star Trek TTRPG. My character was a mild mannered, middle aged Science Officer. Our NPC Captain was a Kirk-wannabe action hero. In the “season finale” I was the only PC on the Bridge (and I wasn’t sure I could trust the NPCs)as he went insane and started to activate the self-destruct. My reaction? “Sir,” *uppercut to the jar* “you’re relieved.” I caught the entire table off guard with that one and their reactions were priceless.

[@KieraAAG]

I remember this fondly. My character was the only character that survived from the start of the story everyone else had atleast 2 or 3 dead player characters. And we where up against a BBEG that was acending into godhood and every time his turned passed he keep getting stronger (he would gain a random plus 2 to one of his stats) and regen either some health or spell slots. We where getting beaten so badly that i had to pull out a artifact and a scroll of wish (the artifact could be feed a scroll and be able to use that spell after it was feed some of your health which scaled with the level of the spell or a spell slot my character was a paladin. But it also had another effect to boost the spell the first time the artifact used it) my character used the artifact and its second effect activated allowing for my character to make 2 wishes. He wished for the following "i wish for reinforcements. And for use the power to fight this evil doer" The dm had a lot of fun that game describing how after my player character said those words the souls of every previous player character my character knew began to manifest around him before solidifying everyone was also boosted with a +15 to all stats and we proceeded to beat his ass as like 15 people where suddenly all demi god level teaming the shit out of him

[@AbstractStew]

My tiefling Warlock of the Great Old One once said (telepathically) to an opponent, "Surrender and I'll let you keep your soul." I then proceeded to roll a 20 on the intimidation check. The frightened faun plunged its dagger into its own chest. I feel a little bad about that one.

[@narutosguidingspirit]

I was playing as a recently resurrected soldier who was sold out by my commander, my party and i had tracked down the man who had done it several times and he kept managing to slip through our fingers, until the final time when he cried out “you all again!?” And the rogue who had been new to the table and bonding with my character throughout replied “it’s always going to be us! We’re your waking nightmare!” And subsequently sneak attack critted to finally cut the man down

[@SiggART]

My circle of Star Druid who was the ships doctor was having a bad day as more than half the crew had gotten scurvy and he was dealing with a bunch of sick whiny npcs. All of a sudden we catch a small pirate ship heading towards us as if them to ram the side of our ship. My Druid sighs in annoyance and just saids, “Today ain’t the day and I ain’t the one” before casts tidal wave and with a shit of of lucky fail saves, was able to top the entire ship over and kill the enemies. We completely avoided combat because of it and I was given inspiration which he was able to use to nurse the crew back to health. Good times!

[@averagefailboatenjoyer9940]

"As you wish." GOES HARD.

[@emberthecatgirl8796]

6:16 The intro line gives me flashbacks to hitting my head against a wall on a boss in a hack and slash.

[@PikachuLittle]

Star Wars campaign. The Trandoshan Bounty Hunter was trying to get through customs while carrying a dead Wookiee (partially for the bounty, mostly for the pelt). When he was obviously stopped because duh, he decided to talk his way through. “I have lawfully obtained this corpse”

[@Nightflameflyer]

We just finished my campaign last week. And the BBEG lit a oil filled fire in a fountain below the giant statue the fight was taking place (signal to start an assault). The impromptu party leader said "you just lit your own grave you fool. "Paladin's name" push him in. The half dragon paladin proceeded to tackle him out of the statue and into the waiting fountain where he was held down and drowned. Epic ending with the best one liner I never would've expected.

[@whatitisorwhatsup535]

I DM for my group of friends who’ve been playing in my homebrew world for just over three years now. They encountered the herald of Nyarlethotep who was taunting them whilst being out of melee range and using shields to stop arrows from hitting him. They managed to outsmart him by pushing him back to the ground with spell casters using magic to fly up. The barbarian finally got in range and landed a hit on the herald. The issue is the barbarian isn’t good aligned so there was no damage done to the herald. The herald looked at him and laughed in his face saying in a mocking voice, “oh look at you! Are you angry that you could hit me in the air and now that you did didn’t do any damage? *in a serious voice* grow up asshole” and proceeded to eldritch blast push him away from himself and doing a lot of damage. The party was left stunned while the herald went invisible and got away. My players were quiet and I thought I had disconnected from discord went all of a sudden everyone said that was brutal. The barbarian rolled for emotional damage and took it like a champ. Needless to say my players are waiting for the day to encounter the herald again. In the mean time, they’re stopping the cult of Yog-Sothoth from releasing the ultimate one into the material world.

[@nullvoid4193]

FIRST IT WAS NUJABES AND NOW THE BACKROUND MUSIC IS RISK OF RAIN 2????

[@bman296]

I burned a tiefling alive as a wildfire druid with Magic Adept with fire as my chosen type. To which my Lizardfolk made mental unstable from the feywilds "The flames of the feywilds send their regards"

[@cheshirecat3504]

The party I was DMing for love nothing more than to trash talk their opponents, even in the new campaign inspired by the game ghost of tsushima they took every chance to try to demoralize the enemy. Fastforward to one of the encounters they had with the BBEG, the general of the Luu Empire who is a massive orc. Every time they have met he has spoken very little and used his actions to convey his meanings from a nod to fill the sky with arrows from his troops to a flick of the wrist to set a town ablaze. After fighting him in an encounter that they got particularly mouthy at him, insulting him and his army and that he had no honor and such, he finally spoke up." Since I have arrived on this island, your warriors have done nothing but talked, about their heritage and the great feats of they and their families have achieved. The battles they have won and the legacy built by them. Now is my turn to speak. I have fought and conquered empires and armies greater than yours, I has brought down walls that span further and higher than the legacy your people have built. This war will be not my greatest victory but my greatest failure, not for having lost, but for spending so much time studying your land and its people, having prepared for the greatest challenge against so mighty a foe, only to find it such a disappointment. With hardly anything to gain to make my people any better. I have decided I will not conquer your nation, I will erase it from history, destroy every piece of it and you and your legacy will end." He then stops holding back and manages to whip them pretty bad and forces the party to run to try to get stronger. Afterword because of that he started ordering his troops to stop taking prisoners and burn the towns if the party didn't reach them in time.

[@Trekkington]

Putting "...con lentitud poderosa" behind these lines made them infinitely cooler

[@vothahne489]

I was playing a character by the name of Kazmiras Rekikage, a big, muscular, hulking behemoth of a man, standing in at a whopping 7’6” tall. A Giant Barbarian/Lycan Blood Hunter, the basic summary is that Kaz is a genetically modified human who had his powers forced upon him by his father, a scientist who experimented on, abused, and tortured him since he was a child, in order to turn Kaz into a weapon of mass destruction. Then, one day, he broke himself out of the lab, and has been on the run ever since, at first coming across a tribe of Storm Giants who taught him their ways. His father found them, and killed them, but he managed to escape by the skin of his teeth. Lost, Kaz wandered for awhile until he eventually found a party of Adventurers, who he then took shelter with and traveled with, to try and redeem himself for the various crimes and atrocities he was forced to commit in his days of being a weapon and a tool for his father. Fast forward towards the end of the campaign, and Kazmiras and his friends, who he now viewed as his new family after their travels together, are facing off against his Father, Alucarde Rekikage, one last time, to finally take him 6 feet under and put him in the ground where he belongs. Everyone was pretty much almost dead, running low on HP, almost completely out of resources, struggling to keep up. I had been running off of Relentless Endurance for a few rounds, trying to stay alive, and got some pretty good rolls. Three Final Nat 20s ended this long, hard, and arduous battle. Alucarde’s turn comes around, and he crits me, dealing massive damage. He then tells Kaz, thinking he has killed him: “it’s time to face reality, son. I Am Your God. I decide when you live, I decide when you die. Like it or not, this wasn’t going to end any other way.” Nat 20 #1. I roll for Relentless Endurance, needing an 18, 19, or 20 to remain standing. I got the Nat 20, and still kept standing. Staring his father down, stood there, hanging on by a thread, Kaz simply says: “I Reject Your Reality…and Substitute My Own.” Nat 20 #2. Then, after his turn ends, My turn comes around, and Kaz lands a Nat 20, killling Alucarde, shoving his sword straight into his chest and impaling him cleanly. And since I used Blood Curse of The Marked, both Kaz and Alucarde were reduced to 0 HP with this last attack. With a tired, shaky grunt, he looks his dying father in the eyes, one last time, and says: “When you get to Hell…Tell Asmodeus I Sent You. Then…Apologize, on My Behalf…For the Inconvenience.” He then proceeded to rip his blade out by lifting it up, Bisecting him and leaving the two halves of his corpse laying upon the ground. Nat 20 #3. He then proceeded to collapse to the ground, unconscious. The battle had been won, his freedom finally, truly obtained.

[@Trafulgoth]

"What is the law but the opinion of a man with a sword?"

[@Dragonlovermaniak]

The Kobold famoly one was so good!

[@gemstones8337]

So two stories. One time I was DMing for a few friends of mine. We were running a campaign where they were playing a group of criminals and outlaws, united by a shared goal to overthrow the lich that had taken over the kingdom, making life hell on earth for the common people. One of the PCs, a dragonborn fighter/warlock named Runye, was on the run because she'd killed the kingdom's previous king (tbf he was a shit-ass king so it was warranted). The king that just happened to be the (abusive) father of one of the other PCs, the human bard/rogue, Karlain (keep in mind that, even though he'd ran away from home, Karlain was still technically a king, just not the reigning one). These two were at each other's throats all the damn time. They once had an argument at the map table in the party's hideout and, I'll be honest, I don't even remember what it was they were even arguing about that time (it had something to do with clashing moral codes). But I DO remember the moment when Runye's player (irl) stood up, leaned one arm on the table, her other hand on her hip (where, in game, Runye always kept her crossbow), leaned forward, staring directly at Karlain's player and said "I've killed kings before. Wasn't all that difficult. Do you want me to do so again?" I, frankly stunned, told her to roll for intimidation. She rolled a 19. Fair to say that ended the argument pretty quickly. Another time, in a different campaign, I was the one to drop the line. So, I was playing a storm genasi warlock, Ezra, whose whole deal was that he always does what he says. At one point, we had gotten ambushed by a minor villain, and I rolled insanely high on an intimidation roll and was threatening the guy to hell and back (again, I don't remember what I said exactly, it was a LOT, but something along the lines of frying him alive), and when I'd finished I chuckled and said completely deadpan "oh, and, one more thing you should know. I don't bluff." The villain attacked us anyway, and, as per the character, I proceeded to do EXACTLY what I said I was going to. Even years later, I'm still proud of that line. (Also one of the other PCs in that campaign had a locket that could tell truth from lies, and they got pretty freaked out when it registered one of Ezra's threats as entirely true. That particular moment was fun.)

[@unknownslayer7363]

"You may run from your failers. You may hide from your consequences in the shadow of your beloved god. But in the end, when they look away, and they WILL eventually do so, you will fail. You will destroy everything you touch and have bin close to. Every roof that has given you shelter will buckle. " "Until you have no shelter left but me."

[@DragoRaRaRa]

I had made an asamar divine soul sorcerer with a nobles background. He was basically a god that created an avatar to take a vacation in the mortal world and got stuck. During a boss fight he casted command and made him grovel which let the rest of the party devastate his HP. Before he landed the last attack he said "all these theatrics and effort and all you managed to do was waste my f**king sunday". My girlfriend groand at how cheesey it was and my DM said "alright next boss has advantage on wisdom saving throws".

[@rockyclouds2]

Gonna give a bit of context here: the player was a black dragonborn bard, who during character creation *forgot to give themself an actual weapon*, so when they were fighting the bbeg they rolled well enough to grapple onto the bbeg's face and asked "can i gouge his eyes out with my flute?". Let them roll for it and they got a nat 20. Probably one of the best ways ive seen a player improvise especially since they refused to buy a weapon which i assume was for that very moment.

[@drashna]

"I get to commit war crimes" with utter glee.

[@71tofu]

"Power! UNLIMITED POWER!" Witch finger cast at the highest level after pleading for my life at the hands of the BBEG. Failed stealth rolls hurt, man, but lightning fingers hurt more.

[@UndeadGamer07]

3:28 THIS PART HAD ME DYING FROM HOW BADASS THAT SOUNDED LMFAO

[@gabrielgard7194]

One of my players (a paladin) looks to another player (another paladin) and says, "Evanora, how many limbs does someone need to talk?" They were interrogating somone in i think session 3 or 4

[@NathanWitman-ld2mi]

My dragonborn captain to a pompous noble we were being paid to rescue “We may be rogues but there are rules on this ship: Don’t ever disrespect my crew again. You are not a guest, you are cargo we’re meant to deliver….and we weren’t paid in advance.”

[@foxinabox0065]

3:22 So the correct answer here was actually "Nanomachines, daughter. They harden in response to physical trauma."

[@pjirp]

A game i was playing was well into the late game, around level 15 in pathfinder. We are near the end of the campaign against a cult that wants to end the world and will probably succeed if we dont stop them. At the same side we are all major figures in our nation. My character was the nation's spymaster. At one point one of the players manages to piss off a blue dragon matriarch (the type of player who always does stupid things that frequently amounts to complicated suicide). The dragon was demanding ridiculus concessions to not wipe out our nation, like annual child sacrifices or something along those lines. My character just looked at the situation, sighed, and said "Alright, thats enough of this shit" then proceeded to rally all the powerful NPCs we've made friends with over the course of the campaign. This includes, but is not limited to: A few other dragon fight matriarchs and patriarchs, several level 15-20 heroic figures, and a few divine avatars. We all show up at the meeting to "negotiate" with this blue dragon, who goes on about how they are so powerful and being generous to give us a chance to survive, and one child a year isnt really all that much is it. After a minute of this i interupted the dragon "The blue dragons of this desert will leave [my nation] in peace. This WILL happen. The only question we came to resolve is if you will be involved in maintaining that peace" The dragon, of course, was upset and began to rant. I just gestured to all our OP allies who insta-killed the matriarch and all her powerful mates and children, rendering the entire flight essentially harmless. I then proceeded to, in character, beat the shit out of the PC for prompting the whole thing.

[@SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED]

My Rouge was late to the BBEG fight cos my party just speed ran the several level dungeon to reach him while I was doing espionage stuff so I pulled up near the end where he was heavily injured and lots of role-playing occurred (and this was a whle ago so my wording won't be exact) but the BBEG said something along the lines of "you were all worth opponents but i dont get my hands dirtied with blood" and my Rouge was behind him with sneak attack and said something along the lines of "too bad I dont subscribeto such niceties" And plunging my weapon through the heart of the BBEG through his back (I'm sure it was something better but I don't remember the exact wording. Plus it's one of those things that it sounds better in the moment)

[@IRQ17]

As for the dragonborn pala, I'm going to be THAT guy: Chromatic Warding.

[@riandickson5130]

Well I mean, my character said, "I'd give my eye" and then proceeded to gouge out his right eye with his dagger as his contribution to resurrecting a slain party member. the DM thought it was metal af. Now my character has perpetual disadvantage on sight-based perception checks, but it was a great moment and totally worth it. We have enough perception-powered characters in the party anyways

[@Shadow9808]

Not 5th Ed but Pathfinder 1st Ed, Ponyfinder, my character was Blaze Ashfall, a Phoenix Wolf (Wolves who are decended from Hellhounds who had ALL ties to the Abyss and Infernal burned out of them by gates straight into the Plane of Fire) and we met one of the campaign's big bads face to face, a Blue Dragon called the "Prince of Blue Skies". He had manipulated and scared my character's lover for most of the campaign, and as you'd expect, my character was terrified to be staring down a freaking dragon. But his rage at this bastard's underhanded treatment of a friend was greater. He knows better than to try and fight them now. But he threatened the dragon. "It won't be today... But one day, I will rip out your heart with my fangs, and feast on it." Roll Intimidation... Success. Not a crit, not a fail, I just succeed. The Prince praised him for being so bold as to threaten him in his own lair, more so for being easily killed at this point. We escaped, nd come 13th Level, Blaze made good on his threat. The Prince's body was butchered and consumed in a grand victory feast, at my character's wedding no less! Epic way to wrap up a near year and a half campaign from Level 1 to 13.

[@brennonlewis]

This is one of my favorite moments I've had with my current character. I'm playing as a werewolf barbarian and we were attacked by a group of monster hunters that act more like bandits, think Silver Hand in Skyrim. I knew they were coming for me so we set up an ambush in the town we were in, the hunters barged into the village and started harassing villagers for information (the village is allied to us because we defended them from an ogre) I managed to sneak up behind one of them and said "How does it feel when you're the prey instead?" And snapped his neck with a rule of cool strength check, killing him instantly with a 23

[@CobaltTungsten]

So, my wife is running a heavily altered Curse of Strahd campaign, and there's Dana, (me) (Dhampir), Mallow (Bone Fairy), and Mellech (Mummy/Reborn). There's not going to be any spoilers for the OG CoS so no worries. Also, warning, LONG. One of the Realms was literally Salem, barely post Witch Hunt. This was our Starting area, and it was here people were paying us to "Defeat" certain Lords from the Realms. My wife had planned this on being a long-term staging area for us, but we didn't know that. What we did know: We were have dreams/visions of what happened in the past at Salem, some were sweet and the rest... not so much. One thing that resonated heavily with my character Dana, was that the person she was having visions of was a woman much like herself. Not a Dhampir, they were both Trans. Thing is, Salem's Leader was in love with this person, and preferred her as a "Man", but wanted her to only dress like a woman so no one knew. Salem's Leader was very gay, but because of the times was very in the closet. She decided to come clean to some people, wanting to live authentically as herself, and so the leader of Salem had her burned as a Witch to hide his sexuality. It took a while for my character to digest what it was she'd seen, and after much careful digging around, found out that pretty much every Witch burned was someone who just didn't adhere to the values of the Catholic church at the time, and pretty much every adult in the village had accused someone of being a Witch for some kind of profit or gain... as one man had done it so his neighbor would die and he could buy her farm. It was bad. But Dana, is a Neutral Evil character. Not villainous Evil, but "I'm willing to be the badguy in order to get things done" Evil. So, after we'd killed our third Lord, the town wanted to throw us a "Heroes Party". This is what set Dana off. She'd been listening to these people say that her friend Mallow was "One of the Good ones", when referring to her status as Magical/Fey. She'd listened to how they mocked her for worshipping Tyr and The Red Knight instead of "The Real God" (Aka, the Christian God). They'd even treated Mellech with a sense of disgust, only wanting to interact with him when he was buying something. Yet, as long as they were doing as "Ordered", they were the "Good Sort". So, she made a plan. Mallow went out and spread lamp oil on the rooftops of every building, also making sure none of the children were in the village at the time. Dana and Mellech would go to the party and... start things off. At the party there was much drinking, all the finest ales and wines and casks were out for the festivity. As the party reached a crescendo Dana was asked to give a speech about how they were fairing and doing the "Lord's Work". So, a speech she did give. "When we first got here, we were under the impression that you all needed our help. And so, not in the name of coin, but in the name of helping people thrive under these trying conditions, we followed our leads. We've slain beasts, hags, and vermin at the behest of being good to you all. And yet," She looked at the crowd, her smile fading. "We failed to recognize the true monsters. All of you," Her voice getting gravely and more threatening. "Hypocrites, blasphemers, and murderers of innocents!" The whole tavern at this time was up in arms about her name-calling. "We came here to slay monsters, and to your Christian hell I send you!" She knocked over a table full of Alcohol and proceeded to use Firebolt on it, and Mellech used Control Flames to make it spread faster. The fire got big and fast, and Dana and Mellech were forced to jump out of a window to avoid getting burned. Dana, armed with her Civil-War Era Rifle, circled the burning building and shot everyone who tried to escape, not many made it out of the building, but she killed every adult in Salem. All the while, the fire spread to the rest of the village, decimating it. The children all survived and we found a good place to house them with a lovely woman, but that's the story of how our party burned down Salem in an act of vengeance for the innocents they'd murdered, and my favorite line delivery that left my wife literally speechless for a moment.

[@michaelbarnard8529]

Character with a musket pointed a a barrel of gunpowder: don’t move. Villains: We are not afraid to die! Character: I’m already dead.

[@cwhip9]

i had to pause after the Gorilla line just to laugh.

[@nicholasschmelzer9943]

It was the final battle, and the evil wizard BBEG was charging a lunar blast that would likely kill us all. My character, a human ranger who just resolved his backstory trauma & became a new king, was gifted a family sword that channeled the power of daylight. The DM said that I could roll to fully absorb the lunar blast with my sword, but if I failed, my character would die. Dice gods be praised, I rolled well, and saying the activation phrase, “Lumen Morn!”, my character fully absorbed the lunar blast, negating all the damage. I then delivered this line: “Behold! Behold the power of my ancestors! Behold the power of day! How can you hope to stand against?!” Needless to say, the BBEG focused on me for the rest of that fight.

[@AVD223]

the first one is literally fjords "you need me more than i need you" scene stabbing himself with his sword but sure badass

[@1Kapuchu100]

Hi! I'm the player in that first story. And yes, my scenario and Fjord's are indeed very similar, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't realise it right after it happened. But there was no deliberate intent to mimic that, as I was just expositioning to the other players when the Patron went "Nope, shut up." It wasn't planned, just a happy coincidence that I got to have a scene of similar badassery :P

[@AVD223]

@@1Kapuchu100 i genuinely hope that felt incredible :D

[@1Kapuchu100]

@@AVD223 Oh it fucking did. I very specifically designed him to be an "Everyman" kind of person who just wanted to live a normal life, but had Adventure forced upon him. Getting to flip the power-dynamic of something so large it can swallow Gargantuan-sized creatures (another story from a more recent session) was pretty freaking cool.

[@AVD223]

@@1Kapuchu100 HEEEELLL YEAH! have fun in your future campaigns ^-^ 🤘

[@samuelevans738]

Ok, so I was playing a half-orc barbarian clan crafter (long story) in a lost mines of phandelver campaign with some hefty helpings of homebrew thrown in for good measure. Anyway, so we're going through cragmaw Castle, fighting (but not killing!) the goblins within, and we finally catch a wizard and the local goblin King having a conversation. The party rolls low on initiative, the wizard casts darkness on the group and tries to use some of our friends as hostages. Anyway, in order to save them, my character starts bellowing at the top of his lungs: "WHERE IS YOUR KING? WHERE IS THE COWARD WHO LEFT HIS CASTLE UNDEFENDED AND HIS SUBJECTS IGNORED?! WHERE! IS! YOUR! KING?!", calling the bugbear out on his bullshit and challenging him to a duel. In doing so, I successfully intimidated the bugbear in charge, leading to a boss fight with the wizard who turned into a giant fire elemental with adds. The bugbear actually tries to kill us by collapsing the roof under us, and then setting fire TO HIS OWN CASTLE with some goblins still inside. We organize an evacuation of all the goblins, and retreat to a clearing near the ruined castle. Come nightfall, king bugbear the beardless interruptus my character's rightfully earned long rest to answer his challenge to a duel. Despite having no available rages left, my barbarian wipes the floor with the guy. Now my character is a goblin King!

[@Thelnir]

12:44 NOBODY TOUCHES DOC!!!

[@ancientmoros]

My group was fighting an arch druid who had kidnapped and admitted to killing our npc friend. He said it was in retribution for killing his dragon... That he had sent to kill us in the first place! When he was nearly dead, he was resigned to his fate and sat back on his throne, all fight gone out of him. Our Warforged Artificer grabbed him, dragged off the throne, and threw him on the ground saying, "No, you don't deserve to die on a throne!"

[@nabra97]

"I take a lockpick and try to become too much of a trouble to take alive. If it doesn't work, I kill myself with it" - we were Polish spies trying to destroy certain secret documents while WWII was starting, which we succeeded at, but ended up cornering ourselves, hence this situation (my character's only weapon was a pipe bomb that she successfully used before, so she had to fight her final battle with lockpicks). And yes, she managed to become too much trouble to be taken alive

[@_spt-warwolf_4575]

My Tiefling Barbarian and the rest of the party are members of an organization that prevents divine forces from crossing over into the mortal world. My Barbarian is an experienced war vet, and he joined the organization to find his sister, who was abducted by his Infernal ancestors. After getting into a skirmish with a demon and his minions, we kept him alive at low HP so we could interrogate him. As we all stood in a circle around him, asking questions, our monk spoke my character's name which the demon recognized. He glanced at my Barbarian, snickered, and said "You're [sister's name]'s brother? Interesting...." My Barbarian flared up, cast Thaumaturgy to magnify his voice and ordered him to explain how he knew his sister. The demon, with blood dripping from his mouth, smiled menacingly and said "Let's just say we're well......acquainted. And I gotta admit......." Looks Barbarian in the eye. "....she's quite the catch." He finishes with a wink. Losing his temper, my Barbarian barred his teeth and snarled "Catch this!" before drawing his axe and cleaving the demon's skull in half.

[@navi2710]

Dormamu, I have come to bargin.

[@JoeMazzolaTheFirstPersonCook]

My DM had a character try to steal a ship and our party was tasked with reclaiming it. My fighter, the party face, demanded they give the owner her ship back. The pirate captain scoffed that posession is 9/10th of the law. "Well I possess this gun." One intimidate roll later and our friend has her ship back.

[@JoeMazzolaTheFirstPersonCook]

Ngl our whole campaign has some great lines - my friends are so great at RP

[@nikolibarastov4487]

I was playing a Quaggoth Ftr/Brb/Rgr and we were dealing with a giant invasion like a dozen longboats full of giants plus their pet Dire Lions, so I was down to negative health and I had a special feat that allowed me to operate at negative health until negative 10 and the cloud giant Commander had to back off and heal himself after I critted him and he said you'll pay for that you die now to which I smiled at him grunted through blood-soaked teeth and told him you first I then took an attack of opportunity against myself which was completely missed with a natural 2 on the die add critted to my charge attack and drop the cloud giant Commander. Did I mention we were waiting for reinforcements and when they showed up I was at -7 health looked at them all on top a pile of giant bodies and told them took you long enough. I was rocking with two of my buddies against literally over a hundred Giants we were each about level 17 or higher the other players were a druid wizard multiclass chosen of mystra, and a red dragon shaman who was literally just soaking the Giants in fire damage for low health.

[@Ragnar_wolfheart]

back story for my best line in a campaign So I am a red Dragonborn fighter, I act like an assassin but just using fighter class, I have 4 hand axes, 2 short swords, 18 throwing knives, 1 long sword, 1 hand cross bow, and 1 short bow. I just raided an underground orc tower leading to a temple. They had goblins with vials of a liquid that would be very similar to greek fire, being firing from a catapult. I grabbed one of those goblins found a group of 9 orcs and I threw the dead goblin on them shattering the vials. I then used my breath weapon and and killed all but one orc. It was an orc war chief so I walked up to him and stabbed him in the gut. As he was dying I said, "Tell your god that the cabbage merchant is coming for him."

[@WackyEncapsulatedFruitCup]

You'd need quite a bit of leeway from a DM, but this could result in a WILD campaign. **Character idea:** Sheogorath, God of Madness. Male Aasimar. Bard/Sorcerer multiclass. *Alignment:* *Pure Chaotic.* You are going to need to roll a die for nearly all choices. (A D20 should give you enough weird options). You have a silver tongue and can easily enthrall people into your service. You might turn them into a powerful warrior, court jester, or cheese wheel... You also have your own pocket dimension. It could be storage and manufacturer for strange magical objects, which only can lead to interesting gifts or strange combat interactions. And some of the people you enthrall will simply live there. The party is just as likely to be at risk of your endless shenanigans. And if a DM is nice enough, maybe you won't die. You'll just have other things to do in the campaign, cursing a town with madness, replacing the BBEG only to then abandon the BBEG's minions, unleashing miniature dragons all over a forest. Who knows‽ Sheogorath knows...

[@LEWS316]

Bbegs right hand man seeing his mansion burning and our party running towards him "My home! My wife was in there!" Our Paladin "Yeah she's cooked to a crisp". Then my Tiefling mid battle as both his adult kids die "I warned you! Never piss off a Tiefling!"

[@TwoHeadedMeerkat]

So...did the _family_ piss off the Tiefling? Feels more like a case of Sins of the Father -- doesn't sound like you warned the victims themselves

[@LEWS316]

@@TwoHeadedMeerkat yeah I did when they locked us in a dungeon under the mansion

[@doragonverde]

I had a moment where i played a chaotic good tabaxi vengeance paladin and i was a paladin of selune goddess of the moon so the thing about that is that this was several years of a game and the moon goddess through out that time was betrayed, attacked, injured, and basically on there last leg of still being a goddess and alive at that point , so we ended up finding one of the bbegs main underlings and after the fight my paladin “recieves some divine orders from selune” walked up to the guy who was still breathing pumps a single point a health into him grabs him by the neck and pulls his face close to just stare him in the eyes and out loud says “Do you want to know something interesting about a vengeance paladin of a god backed into a corner with nothing else on the line?… Us as her paladins are allowed to cross that line if it means we can save her with no consequences. So this is whats gonna happen because i know your so loyal to that little fuck im going to strap you to a chair and im going to hurt you terribly. Then im going to heal you and im going to hurt you again until you tell me what i want to know and you make me believe it.” Proceeds to drag him to the nearest town’s dungeon which was about two weeks in game time of travel of being literally dragged by horses and healed the pre game torture if you will