What To Do About Parental Alienation Syndrome

[@sheffanesseabrown3365]

As one of the leading advocates against parental alienation in Canada I agree with everything he have said. I believe it is time for parental alienation to be a punishable crime.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sheffanessea Brown, in certain cases there should be consequences.

[@cypto_niti2897]

Love from Toronto

[@tarawalsh7045]

In Ireland, it is part of the DA laws as an aggravating factor if a parent is seeking a protection/safety order. The problem, for me, is that if I sought this Order, it would actually only alienate my daughter further as she is very attached to her father (as she should be). I have come to realise that, at this stage, there is nothing more I can do and have to accept losing my relationship with her. Her father is very, very manipulative and always rationalises his own behaviour, usually by blaming me even if he has to lie about me to do this. I honestly believe that he believes his own preferred realities but I now see my daughter doing the same thing. I don't know how I can feel when she accuses me of things that never happened. Ultimately I believe that he is doing this to force me out of my own home so that he can move in and, in that way, continue to avoid adult reality. Of course, he would never own that. I made a terrible error in being with him and it is costing me absolutely everything.

[@jsaff4391]

Absolutely and then should be placed in solitary confinement with no contact with children so they can feel the crisis of separation they have causes. Then they should be institutionalized.

[@tarawalsh7045]

@@jsaff4391 Yes, I have always said I would not wish that extreme aloneness on anyone but... you have made me realise that some people should experience this. It's worse than any death or physical pain. It strips your humanity.

[@gabepearl5661]

Your description of parental alienation is level one if there's 10 levels. I'm in a bloody war that's cost into the millions. I just want to see my kids and be part of their life. That can cost millions. And be almost impossible when you're squeaky clean with no history of any problems whatsoever

[@marjoriemartinez9973]

My kid is now 37 yrs old, not a kid anymore but her abuse is horrifying, constant roller-coaster and now she turned my 30 yrs old son against me😢

[@chisquared100]

14 years alienated. Hella good lies he told my kids. Hella good

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

VO, sorry, I hope they grow up and understand that there might be more to the story.

[@amandarecoveryjones8216]

I'm so so sorry

[@chisquared100]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV right. There's never two sides to a story. Only one side to the story. Its called Truth. My story would shock you. Pretty sure.

[@chisquared100]

@@amandarecoveryjones8216 you are dear to reply. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

[@HazelGreenGuy]

What about when you follow the court orders to the letter making sure to be on time to and from visitation and making sure that the other parent gets their visitation and phone contact every single day that they call within the court appointed hours but then the other parent bad mouths the mother and step father and accuses them of parental alienation every time he doesn't get his way and goes around telling people how difficult the mother is just because he doesn't get his way whenever he wants? It's like said person accuses the mother and stepfather of all the things HE does that they aren't doing while badmouthing them and falsely accusing them of parental alienation. When the other person is full of anger, bitternness, hate is actually the difficult one, almost ALWAYS late to pick up and drop offs, will try to inconvenience the mom any chance they can especially on her holidays and if she says ANYTHING in the slightest way he goes off on her and tells the child his moth is a B and that the stepfather is a "control freak". It's like REVERSE parental alienation accusation because he wants full custody and we won't even talk about how much he resents child support. Hardly ever pays and when he does it's never the court ordered amount but she can't complain or she gets raged at and told that she is "PATHETIC". I am at a point to where I actually hope he takes us to court for something stupid again so it can all just be fixed. The child is reluctant towards the father because of the anger and bad mouthing others he loves and then the Mom gets called and accuses of parental alienation because he will NOT accept that he is driving the child away. Then he wants to take the child to his friend who is a counsellor telling him that HE and the CHILD need counselling to "help" their relationship as if it's the child's fault. We do take your advice by focusing on OUR home and his time with us but the adult false accusations hate and bitterness from the other side gets old. Just because a parent doesn't get their non court ordered way doesn't mean they are being alientated.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hear you, I hope things turn around. It sounds like your son understands what is going on.

[@sinmayp]

Thank you by the way...such golden advice and it worked with my son! 🙏♥️👍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it helped!

[@LC-df3jl]

All I say is you reap what you sow.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

L C, very true. This one is difficult to play the long game at since our kids don't stay kids.

[@krisrobinson7999]

Thank you for this video! Been waiting for you to come out with something on this topic! Sage advice as always!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Kristina Robinson Vlogs. Happy to be of service to you!

[@sinmayp]

What if I followed these tips and having created the stable loving open communicative Environment possible that my child doesn't want to leave it and go back to his mother's? Very emotional and screams going back?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

sinmayp, If you can talk to her, reassure her that her mother loves her also and you will always be here for her.

[@TheSybil47]

Thanks for a very useful video. I just can't understand what is going on around the world, especially in the so-called Western countries, also so-called "developed countries". It's like, as if the fundament of our society, the familystructure, are being undermined, and that can only lead to a total collapse in society. Already there are so many people with mental illnesses in the childcare system, and they make the life of the people depending on the childcare system a living hell. Everybody is so focussed on their own mental illness, that the individuality of each person are lost in the noise, and we don't realize that we are the cause of the other persons' mental chalenges. We make each other stressed out, or depressed, and then we can't be bothered to understand the other person, but instead ignore the other person, and eventually block the other person out of one's life. Why? oh Why?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish I had the answer to these questions.

[@Sobeewan]

When the other person is clearly being emotionally or physically abusive, that's not called alienation, that's called protection, and I will never apologize for that.

[@tannerhagen774]

Physical abuse wouldn’t be in the context of what he is stating and should have DHS involvement. This is pertaining to parents arguing and turning a child into a chess piece for their own conflict and when you play the game back you are falling into the same trap. It may appear as “protecting” and you experience it as such in your own phenomenology, but it is damaging to the children. May I add it is difficult to universalize a ten minute video into all contextual circumstances but he does a good job in establishing a guideline of what you can control. As Judith Butler once said “as long as you love your children more than you hate the other parent”. People should not be naive and think added conflict promotes child wellbeing ; )

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sobeewan, you have every right (even an obligation) to protect yourself and your children from any type of abuse. This topic discusses alienation when there is no abuse. Thank you for watching.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tanner Hagen, thank you for the very good explanation! I love the saying by Judith Butler.

[@Sobeewan]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for clarifying. I don't recall that being an exception in the video, but if it was, please accept my apologies. If it wasn't in the video, I think that the more common exceptions like these should be specified as a special case within the context of the video.

[@ColleenDeVoll]

What if have a judge has base her hole case on what the dad has to say. He is a drug deal my grand at 3 yr. pick up a meth piper and start to try smoke it blaming the mother his living in a meth house of sister Jackson is ythe top drug ice queen . Mother has been doing what cps want her to do back has not

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Colleen DeVoll, I am not sure what all is going on here. I hope you have access to good legal counsel.

[@RipTides311]

Are you kidding me? Your answer is to not do it because it's not fair? Are we in kindergarten ?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nope, just trying not inflict damage on the kids.

[@richmondwotters]

😂😂

[@Doug5614]

I'm going through this myself. My daughters are now young adults and it's still going on as they live with their mom. They ignore my messages and I don't get to see them on holidays. I've reached the point where I have to focus on myself, love and live my life as I carry on. I'll get lost in anger if I stay focused on the injustice of the court system and what happened in my case.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sorry you are going through this, Doug G. Hopefully they will realize they need you soon.

[@rossdavidson6387]

Keep going..at this time I'm on the fence of just not fighting the same crooked courts in another state in this judicially ethical country, lol

[@wlkbeastmode-issiap.346]

🥺🥺🥺

[@kimparke6653]

Doug, I am going through the same with my eldest daughter. Heartbreaking being excluded from my grandson's.

[@Doug5614]

Kim, I'm sorry to hear you're going through it as well. I'm sure we're not alone.

[@Snubbur]

I created the most stable, sane, loving, warm, open, warm, communicative environment in the world for my children. It was no match for the sickness inside their father. They're lost to me now, because I did everything right.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am sorry this is happening to you. My hope is that one day the relationships can be healed.

[@Passion-X]

Keep praying on them … God will turn them around…

[@stephr9859]

Me and you both. I have my daughter thank god. But it hurts, my sons are gone.

[@startwithurfeet230]

Same...I recently started communication with my daughter.... But she still keeps contact with the women who co-signed this show and still doesn't trust me AT ALL, to even tell me what car she drives... We don't even live in the same state. I'm sick sick sick of defending myself against a liar and his accomplices.

[@jentbotbfa]

I am so sorry but I unfortunately completely understand.

[@kevinproulx9137]

God with us all still healing & suffering from “Parental Alienation” and narcissistic ex spouses, (Been two years now since I have seen my two teens, I am still fighting for them!) ❤️🤘✝️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hope you get to see them soon.

[@murraymarshawn2175]

There is no "they" in alienation. One parent wants the other parent to go away.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Murray Marshawn, and sometimes they succeed in driving them away. Sad.

[@murraymarshawn2175]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV There is no 'they' when one parent desires the elimination of the other. And you never call this out.

[@davidlogan3851]

Yes go away but still send the support check every month

[@stopspyingonmeML]

@@murraymarshawn2175 in my case there is a "they" My ex His girlfriend And her husband 3 Alienaters Her being the master mind

[@murraymarshawn2175]

@@stopspyingonmeML There is always a "they." The devil always has helpers. However, what I reference is the use of "they" to include the targeted parent as responsible.

[@skyethebard]

Ten years ago, I was going through this and it was one of the worst periods of my life. I hit bottom when I flew in to attend my son's birthday party and was told I couldn't attend because it would make some people uncomfortable. When I got home, I read Divorce Poison, read all I could about PA online, and stopped taking the bait. One of the things I learned from all of that reading was that children will usually side with the parent that they perceive as emotionally weaker or needing them. They see the other parent as the aggressor even if they aren't. I had not been bad-mouthing my ex but I HAD been openly angry about the things he said/did. I learned to respond to the bait with silence when dealing with my ex, and something like, "Oh, I'm sorry he said that to you...did you guys have a good time at the concert?" when talking to my son. It showed I was listening to him, and responding, but not emotionally reacting. It was a rough road, and things got worst as my teen son had to adjust his perspective, but by year end, things were better. Not the same as they were before...but healing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

skyethebard, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you are doing a lot. I hope the relationship between you and your son continue to heal. Best wishes.

[@skyethebard]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV That was a long time ago - he's 25, now! He calls that era (2009/2010) "The Year That Never Happened" and rolls his eyes in embarrassment. I remind him that it was tough for everyone and he was just a kid. I'd like to say that our relationship was completely healed but the experience damaged me and I don't love anyone as fully, as trustingly, as I did before that era. I think eventually figuring out his dad was not a victim damaged my son, too.

[@dianemoore8898]

Live On Purpose TV l it

[@uaslam68]

I wish the aggressors know about back firing.

[@motivationcats3695]

"it gets better" is a white lie that people tell each other

[@theguyinthehelmet1875]

Amazes me how much knowledge this guy has to offer...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, the guy in the helmet. I have lots of years of experience! Honored to have you at the channel.

[@trentsteel1542]

Disgusting

[@sara073e]

What's scary to me is that a parent seems to be able to alter a child's memories. How can that happen? Also, what do you do if the other parent seems to be able to make her will seem like the child's own will. The child seems to think what she wants is his own will..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

sara Attar, that can happen. Usually the child will figure it out as they get older, not always. If you think this is happening, I would seek some professional help to sort things out.

[@StarBoyyX]

Conditioning the same thing as a normal person become radicalised to be a terrorist

[@CobraDove1111]

That's exactly what my sister did, now my nieces, 9 and 13 wont see me! I am one devastated Auntie :(

[@tarawalsh7045]

Oh dear, you and I are having the same experience. Best to you. I hope you got through this.

[@sara073e]

@@tarawalsh7045 Yeah... It's scarry to watch. And straight up heart breaking.

[@mattfernandes9580]

Amazing values and advice as always. Focusing on the kids is always in the best interest of everyone, especially the kids! Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Matt Fernandes. Honored to be on your team!

[@christinahuston]

This is some damned good advice! I'm actually the victim of grandparent alienation, but the strategies work for this as well! Thanks!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, pull out the principle and it can be applied broadly.

[@hman2912]

Thanks for continually saying to love your kids no matter what and even if. Great reinforcement. As a single Dad trying to work with depression it sometimes gets so overwhelming that I don't know what to do. I just remember those words and tell my kids I love them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

H Man, Love this.

[@DavidBaronStevensPersonal]

Thank you for reminding us of what's really the point in these cases. If the child's feelings were paramount always, there'd never been a need for these sorts of videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, David.

[@Freedomfortruth90]

Yes but unfortunately selfish a holes think only about themselves

[@Handleitt1]

Beautifully put 😭 Children should have an opportunity to love both parents freely.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Absolutley, Kat Barz. Thank you - honored to have you here.

[@diegodf59]

I followed your advice exactly as provided in your video, and as a result, I have now completely lost contact with my children. The mother, who was upset that the children were happy to stay with me, - not because she wanted to protect them -, relocated from Belgium to Austria and falsely accused me of pedophilia. It took two years to realize that her accusation was baseless. As a result, the children are now completely alienated, and regulating visitation rights has become impossible. The only viable solution to this problem is to grant both parents equal rights. Only a judicial system founded on the principle of equality can safeguard the well-being of the children.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am sorry this has been your experience. Just tragic. I hope you can figure out a way to build a relationship again.

[@tulinbeyduz920]

i’m so sorry . i’m sure my partners ex is going to move overseas with the daughter and estrange herself from her teo boys and dad and flee with the daughter . It should be automatic that both parents are equal

[@jenny8448]

I’m going through this right now. I had custody of my son and his dad would constantly take off with him. He withheld him from me for 21 days and I took the cops to get him. He started lying and saying my son wasn’t safe with me because I finally decided to fight back and get the law involved. Well to say the least I haven’t seen my son in 3 years. He has isolated him from me and my daughters. I go to court and he finds a way to get it reset or states my son is unstable. Then he don’t follow the judges orders. My son was 7 when this started. I can’t a attorney in Texas that will fight for me and my case :(

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry, can you pursue this yourself?

[@jenny8448]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I’m trying to get it into court. I’m praying they acknowledge parental alienation.

[@MySiamesedreams]

Hire Slav Talavera

[@RunDCM]

My wife is doing this as I watch this. It breaks my heart that my own daughter is being nasty to me. I love her and. Want to spend quality time with her. I seriously think it should be against the law. My “wife” (technically we’re still married) plotted to hard against me my daughter hasn’t seen my parents in a year. No Christmas, Easter, or any visits.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hopefully this can be addressed in the parenting plan so relatives have a chance to be with your daughter on some holidays.

[@taha2010ification]

sometimes they want to punish you for rejecting them and they do it by weaponizing your kids

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I can see how that could happen.

[@panospar]

Are you aware of the Attachment Based Parental Alienation approach by Dr Craig Childress? He explains such alienating behaviours with clinical psychology terms, that are easier to prove in a court.

[@garrettcrowley9187]

This man has pulled me through very tough experiences. He has gone through very hard things himself, so he’s been there done that.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Garrett Crowley, glad you are here.

[@lisamcquade9623]

Really good advice! OMG, I wish I'd had this advice 27 years ago! He lobbed so much hurtful bait through my daughter, through court documents, and through games that he had his girlfriend doing to me (absolute absurdity). I was exhausted! He spend hours working at damaging our home with phone calls 2-3 times a day, speaking his poison to her, and it actually caused such harm in her adult life. That stated, we always set the tone that she was entitled to both parents and grandparents! Thankfully, this has come to more awareness. However, the courts need even more training about the harm that it causes to children. I've seen it happen more recently with a dear friend's children. Back in 1994, I made my daughter's counselor aware of the problem, even cited Garner's book PA SYNDROME, gave her research papers, etc. She didn't believe me until after I hadn't seen my daughter for 18 months! Then my daughter's court-appointed attorney and the counselor turned it around, and my daughter was returned to me. She still had contact with her dad. Super long, crazy story! BUT listen to Dr. Paul!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for sharing your experience, Lisa.

[@bobhope7364]

Great video. 👍 Wish I saw this a year ago when my custody battle started and my daughter was withheld and 100 + lies were thrown my way 😅

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Bob Hope. Sorry I didn't have this for you when you needed it. Hopefully I can help others now. : )

[@CobraDove1111]

What about when you're an Auntie and your sibling has taken away the kids and poisoned them against you so you have no more contact? I can't text them anymore as they got new phones. I am DEVASTATED, and that's just what she wanted, to hurt me

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So sorry, there isn't much you can do about that as an aunt. Hold out hope for when they grow up you can have some contact.

[@jackiebedward2249]

Awesome video, very important topic. Too bad lots of parents aren't mature enough to do what's best for their children during a divorce or separation. It's not easy however its doable and it worth doing for the greater good. I am also glad you empathize controlling your house and not be triggered by the messenger.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Jacki Bedward. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@zekesaadiq108]

I hate this so much. 😢 Takes so much patience and tolerance. Feels like the hardest possible training you could go through on Earth. Having to love your children from afar and endure their disdain. Feels like there's no way out.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Soooo difficult. I am sorry you are having to go through this. I hope things work out in the end and the kids come back to you. They usually figure things out.

[@sarraambrai]

Oh my gosh! I've been giving into the bait because I can't stand the thought of him alienating my kids - there's new comments every week. They come home today, I needed this today. You're right on time for me. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So glad we're in sync, Haleigh Isbill!

[@sarraambrai]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Me too!

[@ohnoyoudint1407]

This sounds like a bunch of kaka! The one I allowed to have time with the narcissist parent is damaged but the one I didn’t is well rounded. The narcissist spitefully disappoint and stood up the one child to spite me. Eventually I had to quit the effort cold turkey bc the child was losing his mind.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

ohNO Youdint, Thank you for watching. Alienation is difficult for all involved.

[@kathleenveronesi2755]

What if a bad father started alienating your daughters around 14 and 16 by throwing $50 bills on their bed after humiliating and bullying with bad language at their mother? And she said NOTHING against their father for the good reason you gave- and those very daughters are more sadistic than ever to their mother? I finally said something yesterday.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kathleen Veronesi, I hope you didn't get that kids can act disrespectful to their parents and that is o.k. Two things kids need are discipline and love. If the kids are not being respectful then you should give them consequences.

[@chrisoulalakkas7935]

Surround yourself with positive people who will support you when it rains, not just when it shines.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love it - so true, Chrisoula Lakkas. Thank you.

[@eh4235]

This people don't exist. Many left me alone, and I lost friends, or couldn't make any because my relationship with our children. Easier said than done. People hate my drama, and I too hate it. I don't get it. I cannot focus on myself and children because I am constantly looking behind my back. But now I get it. If I focus on myself and being a stable lone single parent, I am called selfish.

[@markstokes7110]

These videos are tackling the most painful experiences in peoples lives. Honestly I've watched them somedays and been furious, then other days I found hope again watching.......... Thanks for doing the videos, its such a nightmare to walk through and your comments give some light in navigating the lonely darkness that is parental alienation.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mark Stokes, such a difficult thing to go through, we are with you.

[@Kraftbrew]

Dr. Paul is such a good man! His guidance helped me more than anyone else, especially when it came to this subject. If you are being alienated by your ex, this one video is all you need. I say that, without an ounce of hyperbole. Other KZbin channels helped me realize it was happening, but Dr. Paul explained what I could and couldn’t do about it. If your main goal is protecting your child from further damage, and your relationship with your child, everything you need to know, is here, in this 12 minute video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Peter, that means a lot.

[@vennielomeli6547]

So this gentleman takes the passive route. So you provide a loving stable home for your child on your visits and then the child goes home to a parent who undo all the positive manners and injects the child with negativity continuously. This therapist says to ignore alienation it like an ostrich and that the child will come around later well not when the children are under the same extreme circumstance of parental alienation especially if the child is young and impressionable. (So now you loose the bonding years when you loose your connection with child???) My PEOPLE Parental Alienation is CHILD ABUSE. Just physical abuse and sexual abuse there is within Parental Alienation there is Psychological Abuse, Mental Abuse, Emotional Abuse. It should be criminalized. You can bring a motion to the court and request a judge hold and or rule in the alienating parent in willful contempt of court. You can request a specialist, but it going to cost lost of money.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish you well.

[@jacksonislegend]

While parental alienation as a behavior does in fact occur in many instances, it's important to remember that parental alienation is only that; behavior. Parental alienation as a disorder or syndrome is not scientifically supported. There is a reason why it is not in the DSM or ICD. It's been rejected numerous times as an actual psychological diagnosis. Parents absolutely do horrible things and play games with their children's lives during divorce settlements and that's horrible. These behaviors harm the children more than anybody else. In these instances, due diligence must be done when claims are made about another parent, especially when those claims involve abuse. Unfortunately, because of the widespread acceptance of the claims made regarding parental alienation by the legal community, oftentimes those claims can be used as a way to defend against genuinely bad behavior by one parent. In those cases, claims of abuse aren't fully investigated and even sometimes when they are substantiated, the courts bias ends up placing children in the homes of their abusers. This is where I think the biggest challenge is. Who is lying and who's telling the truth? For a lot of these children, it's literally a life-or-death determination. In family court cases where one parent alleged either physical or sexual abuse and the other parent claimed alienation, the parent alleging abuse was only sided with 18% of the time, and in many many instances those children were forced to go live full-time with their abuser. There are two sides to this coin. Look at a recent case in California and which a man, Thomas Winenger, was accused of sexually abusing his step son during divorce proceedings. Department of child services actually did substantiate a lot of the child's claims, but Thomas claims parental alienation on the moms part and was awarded full custody of the children and mom was banned from even visiting or contacting her children for over 90 days. The children were forced to go to some re-education training with their step father. Shortly after, the mother found a bunch of CP and nude / lewd photos and videos of her own children and ex-husband. Parental alienation lead to children being told that their mother who is protecting them was there true abuser and that their father who molested them was merely a victim. I'm not saying that parental alienation seldom happens. It does. And as clinicians, we should be able to recognize the patterns and behaviors associated with parental alienation. However, the harm that can come from ignoring claims of abuse can be far more damaging, and in some cases even life-threatening. I'll say it again, "parental alienation syndrome" is not a thing. It's not a medical term, it doesn't exist in clinical or diagnostic language, it's not a proven psychological syndrome or disorder. The "science" behind it is anecdotal and doesn't pass muster from an evidentiary standpoint. Parental alienation as a set of behaviors, however, is very real, I appreciate you sharing your experience with it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for explaining everything. They are behaviors that are often done because of some other mental illness not being addressed.

[@jblakeblake5115]

If your child won't call you mum or looks depressed and is hateful towards you after dad keeping him away from you for a year through. Covid.And they don't do that they are more manipulative than that they sit back and let the child think its there own feelings and thoughts then they sit back and make out there alienating parent is supporting them going to the other parent

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

This just sounds wrong for everyone involved.

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

The problem now is people just want to throw people away. Grown ups need to learn how to communicate and stop throwing away people. It easier to throw in the towel.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Agreed. We need to strengthen and nurture our 7 Key Realtionships.

[@chocolate-eq6jn]

I agree that in most cases, it isn't the child's issue. However, with older children (young adults) who have chosen to go "no contact" with you and live with the other parent (in my case, it's my older brother), if the alienator is a narcissist, then it is not uncommon for the child to take on those same narcissistic traits. In narcissistic family systems, the enablers will side with the abuser and there will be a "groupthink" mentality against the scapegoat (the targeted parent). I have experienced this with extended family members who had a great need to "fit in". And my daughter has joined in with the enablers. It is true, that in time, the alienated child will "see the light". However, for those of who are senior citizens, by the time our child gets it, it may be too late. If so, then this is their situation to grieve, when they are notified that we have passed away.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

chocolate57, it is so sad, so much wasted time.

[@doughboyu20]

@@LiveOnPurposeTVah it’s ok, as you advice “the kids will figure it out eventually” right 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@carson3811]

What if the mother you were with for 14yr moves tells the kids not to tell there dad aka me to speak to them or tell them where they live infact lie and when you think your getting a day out with your kid's then she messages you saying they have a new dad they love him more than you even tho they have met them once and they have 3 kids to 3 different women and a severe cocaine problem... But your blocked from seeing the kids you brought up from birth until they were 11 and 9 now your whole family is blocked from seeing them and if your son does anything wrong there called by your name now two years later the oldest who you had a bond with has been poisoned to think you don't love them when all you do is miss them and try arrange days out with them and after the break up for the first 8 months the mother asked you back sent you love songs but you just wanted to see your kid's now your the devil and can't get access to even speak on the phone because you don't want her she's now's you love your kid's so using them against you is the only way she can hurt you.. a woman you have known since you were 11 and lived with for 14yr now is a different angry person with a alcohol problem

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

This is a sad story that I have heard way too much. Parents need to see what they are doing to their children in the long run when they start alienating the other parent. The story they are telling themselves is often not true, just makes them feel better to justify the break-up.

[@ginnypappaianou6744]

I created a channel on parental alienation, narcissism, domestic violence, divorce, mental health awareness, my own story and speaking on social and human rights topics. I think it’s important that all of us that battle these issues RISE up and advocate for ourselves and help others.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You can be a great support to others going through this crisis.

[@juliegatica6355]

Need help in Southern California! The narcist is turning my son against me

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm so sorry. Check out some other videos on how to deal with a narcissist.

[@GhostofCTC]

What your saying is true but it is actually much much more complex an psychologically deep rooted than the way you’ve described it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

CTC, is so complex, much more than can be described in a YT video. Thank you for watching.

[@thinktasha8299]

Can someone please give an example of how parental alienation backfires??

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

When the child grows up and realizes that what they have been told is not true, the other parent is not a monster.

[@paulclarke3132]

I think the author of this video is off in some places. First, when discussing the motive for alienation he never mentions the offspring of scorn and anger which is revenge. Sure, the alienator justifies disrupting the child's relationship with the other parent by telling herself she is protecting the child from a bad person but that doesn't mean she really believes it. Secondly, some authors on this subject believe that accusations by the alienating parent should be challenged. It's a lot to expect a child to understand the concept of "strategic nonresponse". Try asking a 10 y/o to define that. When mom tells the kids that dad used to beat her up, if there is no rebuttal then a child is likely to believe it's true because dad didn't deny it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for sharing this perspective.

[@marinvidovic763]

Mome deceived successfuly Entire community of simmilar minded moms 😜, ... + court system that never wanted to know the Truth, and children easily. ...as they LOVE Mother unconditionally and give her narcislsisstic Supply when short "pumpDump" solutions don't. We live in stan's Time.

[@southernyards2152]

With my X Mother in laws interference my marriage was destroyed after my son was born 2014. She threatened my wife who loved me of abandonment if she didn't come back to her and bring her our son. Doing everything I knew how I carefully and lovingly tried to win her back but lost. It became so toxic with her mother they now both want me dead. Forced to divorce my wife to stop them from fleeing I got some custody. Their Contempts of Court withholding him was denied to be heard in court by the attorney hired to present them 2018. 2020 the Toxicity lead to cancer. As I fight for my life they've withheld him for over 410 days. My calls to speak to him are denied. Currently disabled i can't pay the courts ransom to get him back. Having to buy my son's freedom?... why😔

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. I hope you can reconnect. Always hold out hope.

[@southernyards2152]

@Live On Purpose TV I always have. Thank you❤️ I recently released A video about that very thing. It's titled... Stay The Course 101 Thanks for all you do💚

[@jsaff4391]

Yea that doesn't work. Creating a stable, loving environment and taking the high road just led to my kids discarding me anyway. Unless you are wealthy, there is no recourse. They simply have no interest or desire in being around me. I have been replaced by another man who functions as their father.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. Let them know you are there for them whenever they are ready for you. They will come back.

[@jsaff4391]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV IMHO the only way to address this is to prosecute and jail these individuals for child abuse. However, unfortunately the damage can be so damaging that even despite that the children will prefer to be with someone else. In my case two of my children speak to me and come for visitation two do not. I am unconvinced that there will be any change and have seen instances where there aimply is no awakening as you describe. They are brainwashed. Even if they come to the realization that they were lied to or deceived they will be overcome by guilt and anger and its easier to just continue discarding and avoiding the painful truth. That's just my perspective. My only consolation is I have one a couple legal victories claiming damages and my oldest seems to get it. Bit the others are gone, and the one who still comes around is entirely oppositional. Just a matter of time...sorry to be negative but it's best that if you don't have money to just give up, move far away and stop trying. The alienating parent will only be hurt trying to win this battle.

[@Jacubamustoff]

My daughter is 26 and still doesnt see through it. My question is, is there ever a time when you speak your truth? Tell the whole story that you have kept bottled up because telling it was inappropriate? I was a victim, and this is all a game to him.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

If you decide to talk to her, tell the story about yourself, your feelings, etc, don't bad mouth her father even now. Ask her if she is willing to talk and let her decide when.

[@zahariouchahinez]

Thank you for the advice . I m about to finalize a painful divorce . My ex has custody of the 2 kids 5 and 11 . Though the court gave me right to take and see them ,he said he wont allow me . He wont allow any form of contact .He threatened me to harm me and harm himself as a result the kids will grow up lonely . I was afraid and I simply try to do what he asked . Though my kids want to talk to me and the youngest one wants to see me . Im deeply sad . I simply wanted them to have a good relation with both of us but he refuses this . Worse they are moving abroad . Im so desperate .I try to be kind and do not fight just for the kids sake . Hoping their wounded father will stand up and think about the kids psycological health but seems he can not make any empathy.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So sad, he doesn't understand what he is doing in the long run to the kids. If you are court ordered, you can call the police to have it enforced.

[@Globalman43]

I am currently going through it myself. My ex Girlfriend and I have a daughter and she has prevented me from being in my daughter’s life. She has used and manipulated Family Court to do that and personally stripped me of my parental rights. I believe that this situation will eventually work itself out.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It will and you will always love your daughter, no matter what and even if...

[@northernlights808]

As usual it’s a mother perpetrating this behaviour

[@nickeybaby1985]

And what happens if you are falsely being accused of parent alienation?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nick Michelle, if someone is falsely accusing you of parental alienation, that is out of your control. Get clear on what you do control: the way you parent your children, as well as what you say about the other parent. Be careful to not convey anything negative, even down to facial expressions when the child is talking about the other parent. If you must converse with the other parent, do so in a pleasant way. All those are within your control. Thank you for watching.

[@nickeybaby1985]

Live On Purpose TV thank you for responding. I’ve been doing that but it hurts me that the other parent is lying about it .

[@NorthnSouthHomestead]

@@nickeybaby1985 from a broken home, my mom raised 3 kids, not a penny of child support, she had to work every hour of overtime she could, to barely make ends meet. She Never said a harsh word about our dad. NEVER! She let us decide what we thought of the situation, and she let us have our own feelings, and would hug us and comfort us when we were having a hard time understanding why our dad left us for another family and didn’t want anything to do with us. She would just Love us harder. What a strong Mother to never say a bad word against him. Kids will open their eyes and decide their truth on their own....most of the time. We all of course ended up with abandonment issues, but would walk through fire for our precious mother who gave us more love than our father ever could. Still as adults, none of us can understand why our dad divorced us along with our mother, and we all spent many years basically on the verge of hating him for how we were treated ..A thin line between love and hate....as if we were never born..And she would pray for us, that our hearts wouldn’t grow cold toward our dad, and that God would help us through our hurt....as he paraded his new family all around....But we all learned ,What not to be, from him. And ...what to be, from our Loving caring Mom. As adults, we had questions that we needed answered. We would ask our mom. She would then tell us...the parts that we were fuzzy on as kids. Still to this day, she doesn’t say mean things about him. Even with him abandoning us, we still had love for him...it’s why we had such a hard time understanding why he wanted nothing to do with us. Our mom knew this...we still loved him in our own way...and she didn’t want to take that away from us in anyway. She didn’t lie to us as kids, but she would word her answers to us, lovingly, things like...I am sorry your are hurting right now.If I could make it better, I would.....as she held us close and wiped away our tears...We would ask why he left and got a new family. She would hug us and say things like...Sometimes grownups fall out of love with each other but they never stop loving their kids, he is just alittle lost right now, so give him time. Or...my dad didn’t even send me a birthday card...she would say, honey you know daddy is not good with dates...I’m sure he will think of you as soon as he realizes it was your birthday. Never a harsh word against him, although she probably wanted to secretly hurt him for all the tears and hurt he caused us. Lol. Long story...I know. Hope it helps. I think his video was great....always take the high ground, don’t put your hurt feelings onto the kids. Don’t lie to the kids, but don’t trash the other parent to the kids. When they become grownups and start asking questions, answer them...but still don’t bash the other parent. And push back your feelings and use a soft loving tone.

[@caseyworley2741]

@@nickeybaby1985 God bless your family and your mother....

[@rachelhope3161]

My oldest son is 27 and now I am alienated as the residual damage of narcissistic abuse from his step father. How to repair? Can you speak about parental alienation for adult children?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rachel Hope, let him know that you love him and want to have a relationship. Listen to him when he finally does talk and understand that you need to respect his wishes if you are to have any type of relationship. We can consider this for a video.

[@susancraigo8218]

How does the parent that doesn't have primary custody apply consequences for wrong behavior, when the other parent basically allows them to rule their house. For example, they don't want to visit the whole weekend with Dad. Mom tells them they don't have to go with Dad for that one day. Dad enforces visits and now they dislike him for enforcement.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Susan Craigo, you can't control another persons behavior. You can sympathize and listen to your kids as they voice their feelings, but this is something you simply don't control.

[@santoparfano1910]

I'm going through this myself as well. I recently discovered the full parameters of how deeply my two oldest adult children were manipulated by my then current wife. A few years ago my youngest son came forward to me and told me his mother would often bad mouth me to my two oldest adult children in front of him, and that it bothered him a great deal. I was absolutely stunned, but it made perfect sense given the division in our family created by what i know now was due to my wifes smear campaigns to them. Today they are both fully alienated and take part in the smearing as well...them smearing me to others as well to each other. I then obtained proof via an audio recording of them all doing just that. This explains why my two oldest growing up would often disrespect me even though i put my foot down regularly, and give me difficulties often with doing basic chores and then them distancing themselves from me gradually. I recrntoy discovered that my adult daughter also smear campaigns me with whomever will listen to her. She had her husband convinced i was an evil father when i was not. I am not a perfect dad but who is?...but my children were always my world and i was always there for them as a psrent should be. This is mental abuse done by my current wife and her evil family. This doesn't just happen with divorcees but when the smeared finds out it will no doubt lead to a divorce. Then the real hell begins bc people who can do this crap have to soul and won't hold back when it's out in the open.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Santo Parfano, thank you for sharing your experience. Usually the kids grow up and at some point, realize what was done to them. Then they get upset at the alienating parent. I wish you well.

[@JameSSpeedCo]

Thank u so much for this video. “Not explaining or defending” was a huge takeaway and getting me to see how my girls would see that as validating their mothers bullsh*t. Thank u 🙏🙏💕

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@DTM45]

I’m waiting seven years for it to back fire. Sir,are you familiar with the term “silver bullet”. If the alienator can get the child to believe they were sexually abused, you as the parent are done!!! The child believes they were sexually abused, you the parent, will go to jail!!! I say fight back with everything in your means.

[@jetlast9106]

the court system, family law, lawyers, borderline personality disorder, protection order are puzzles pieces of parental alienation.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jet Last, yep, parental alienation has some unfortunate consequences. I hope the video gave you some good ideas on how to not take the bait and instead rise above. Thanks for watching.

[@jetlast9106]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Your videos are amazing! Thank you for your hard job!

[@jetlast9106]

@Mr KMH Exactly! Thank you for your support!

[@nygiants4396]

My children refuse to come to my house because my girlfriend was the object of their mothers smear campaign and turn the children against my girlfriend what do you suggest me doing to get them to even come to my house currently I have to spend all my time with them on my weekends at my parents house

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You can have your girlfriend go somewhere while he is visiting. Otherwise, you need to spend as much time with your child so he knows that you are there for him and can speak nicely about your girlfriend or show him pictures.

[@nygiants4396]

Three kids and yes I have been doing these things and letting them know the door is always open to them and extend invitation to them without pressuring them. Time and patience, yes?

[@nygiants4396]

Trouble is it frustrates my girlfriend more than it does me so I have to constantly reassure her that she needs to be patient for AS LONG AS IT TAKES like you mentioned in the video it may take years for them to emotionally develop in to independent thinkers.

[@rnrjukespot]

I enabled her by cutting all contact during a triangulated affair. I couldn't fight so I let her take everything. Her machiavellian personality rules the kingdom and I am the scapegoat

[@dantenoda]

You're the best, Dr. Paul! Amazes me how you're captivating and straight to the point at the same time. We can tell that there's a lot of technical and experience behind the easy to understand and empathetic communication he uses. Congratulations and thank you so much!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

dantenoda, you are very welcome, honored to be on your team.

[@ginnypappaianou6744]

I’m a targeted parent. I haven’t seen my child in 5 years. My ex husband is actually in contempt of court.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. I hope the situation turns around in your favor soon.

[@KikisCorner24]

The most difficult bait is when my ex husband uses his new wife to harass me. It's terrible when 20 years of your intimate feelings are shared with the new wife and then she uses the information to bully me. I have had to block her on every angle. Flying Monkey Madness

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sounds like a good idea to block them. They don't need to be your friend and have access to you. Glad you know it is o.k. to say no.

[@ntchurchoffreethought6163]

What to do when the alienation has happened with kids in a setting where custody is no longer an issue. My two oldest daughters are alienated but now ages 31 and 29. Their younger sibs were not sucked into it. Most amazing of all is one of the older daughters is an attorney so should be able to spot what's going on. But I "get it" that they are put into a situation where having anything to do with the one parent is looked at by the other parent as disloyalty. What if anything can help? (Besides not returning fire)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

NTChurchof Freethought, do not return fire if you seek a relationship with these children. Model for them the type of relationship you want and let them know that you will be there for them. Always speak fondly of them and it will get back to them through others. Let them know that you are in it for the long-haul and when they are ready, you will be able to talk. Sometimes it takes a while to have the life experience that teaches them there is another side to the story in a personal way.

[@shealy486]

i was railroaded through the court system. all they cared about was how much child support and i should not be in the picture put a clamp on my money and wouldnt give me visits yet i raised these kids .. talked bad about me to my kids .father put them around a sex offender. and i haven't seen my them in 10 years . parental alienation should be a felony.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Agreed.

[@faizashireen5]

Amazing advice, if parents are living together, how can prevent the parent alienation. Please provide some tips on this topic as well

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Faiza Shireen, usually they aren't living together. Don't pressure the child or speak badly of the other parent, be supportive of the child and they will learn who to trust as they get older.

[@evangelinebaricuatro6756]

why this person pinpoint everything

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I had lots of years of practice in custody issues.

[@heatherhawkins7808]

Have you done a video on what to do if your teenager refuses to visit or call his mother? Is it just to be patient? My ex is a lawyer with his own law firm and I can't afford legal fees.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Heather Hawkins, no, I have not done a video on that specific topic, be patient and let him know you are there when he is ready.

[@janahcoaching]

In many cases the kids are so manipulated that they will not even go to the alienated parent house anymore. To the question "why don't you want to come?", they answer "you know why". The other parent doesn't even know what the poor child is talking about.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Just sad.

[@Freedomfortruth90]

Thanks for this video. My daughter is only 4 and I haven't seen any signs to indicate my ex is doing this but my ex has done many other toxic things. Mainly towards me. I hope she doesn't decide to use this tactic but I've already started to do a lot of what you mention just to go stabilise her other toxic behaviour. Not taking the bait is very powerful. It really puts a stop to the situation right there.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good luck, Adrian.

[@petermacintyre1996]

I know from personal experience that the advise provided in this video is both practical and when implemented can be very effective in fostering s positive, loving and long lasting relationship with your children. It's far better to invest energy in creating a peaceful and stable home environment than battling the injustice of parent alienation in the courts. That's not to suggest that a legal approach is wrong, just that it takes a long time, can escalate the alienating parent behaviours and impacts on the children. In my situation, success in the courts came 8 years after i was able to disengage from the "fight" and create a positive and loving home environment for the children. Today, I am blessed with loving and close relationships with all 3 of my now adult children. I know that the children each experienced many losses connected to parent alienation, - I couldn't fully protect them from it but I could and did give them the best relation ship with me that I could. That never would have happened if I engaged in the fight and got distracted from the commitment I made as a parent when each of the children were born. Bravo for proving such sound and practical advise!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Peter. I am glad things have worked out for you.

[@daniellatan9016]

I couldnt agree with you more! Thanks for this❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome.

[@GenericNintendoKid]

This guy always looks scared.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

?

[@snxffys6436]

he’s kinda dressed like kiryu

[@TheThinkingMathematician]

March 15th 2024 - ALL men strike to defend children's rights to BOTH parents custody should start at 50/50

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching.

[@DSNCB919]

Is the mother not answering calls or text ignoring about asking about what doctor child goes too blocking me from childs phone and threatening to tell child another guy is childs father strong enough for alienation case? I submitted custody papers over 2 years ago she keeps hidibg from sheriff ignoring certified mail etc owns nothing hiding in bf apt. Also i had to drive 1.5 hr and bring birth ceritficate to school the mother changed her too without notifiyijg me and listed theres no father.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is very frustrating but your child is worth all your effort.

[@kerryhernandez647]

So in 2005 my now ex-husband won custody of our three daughters by having more $, finding a cut throat attorney and me just being nieve to the entire process was blind sided by what happened and him getting custody of our children. Slowly over the years he figured out how to not have me involved in their lives or let me talk to them on the phone or see them. I didn't have 25,000 dollars to fight him in court and so me and my children suffered. Fast forward to today where all 3 of them want nothing to do with me still and it breaks my heart as much as it did back then . Its bullshit and it needs to stop

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. Always have hope and let them know you will always be there when they are ready to talk.

[@LivingBGLegend]

Thank god I’ve been doing the ‘giving up’ and the accusations are soo many I don’t even know how to defend myself. They are half truths at best, exaggerations and complete lies at worst.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Living Legend, I feel for you, best not to respond if you don't have to.

[@michelepascoe6068]

Great advice. I defended myself indignantly and the accuser looked on calmly and enjoyed their sense of power. My child ended up brainwashed.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So sorry, I hope you can reunite one day.

[@michelepascoe6068]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks. I doubt it though as she thinks I'm "dangerous and mentally sick". I have had to detach emotionally and give up my false hopes. I take full responsibility for reacting emotionally, pleading and trying to please, not effing off when she told me to for decades (which I thought was loyalty and she probably saw as not respecting boundaries), for not protecting her and my other children from my covert mother in my ignorance of narcissistic abuse, for setting a bad example of tolerating contempt and humiliation for decades and confusing my children by being assertive in most situations but being a doormat to my mother, and other parenting mistakes. I love my family so much and lived my life for them. It's devastating, but getting better since I let go of the bullies.

[@Eli-me2vs]

What age do you think a child should have the choice to move in with the other parents or what age should a child chose not to see the other parent

[@eh4235]

It's the age when your child suddenly can talk back and converse in an intelligent, yet twisted manner. Even lies make sense. If they can express it, they will learn to control you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Raven Claw, I'm always about stage, not age. I'm talking about the 3 Stages of Moral Development. The 1st stage is immaturity and selfishness. The 2nd is cooperation. The 3rd Stage is when the child is mature and responsible, and takes initiative. Probably the best time to get input from a child is when they are on Stage 3 - it shows they have made the effort to think things through.

[@christinelennington1346]

What do you do when your husbands kids mother has her 3-year-old coming to their dad's house kicking them saying getaway, I don't like you! Picking them up and they are having meltdowns to the point of panic attacks saying to dad you don't give me mommy or you won't let me see mommy ever again. My husband and I both have her in play therapy but mom has her manipulation turned up to 10! She also has ingrained in 3 years old the cops will come to take you and daddy is making cops come when in turn my husband was having papers served to get parental rights. Now picking up from pre k she cries out and fights to even get in a car seat. My husband tries to say something she says shut up don't like you. Or if he asks her to do something she does the opposite or puts both thumbs up and laughs hysterically. Then just runs. Puts hands on their hips I don't have to listen or talk to mommy. Child Protection will not even investigate when she is being emotionally and verbally abused what do we do? This only started when my husband took mom to court for visitation rights because he was tired of hearing no or I'm the mom I can do what I want you are just the donor? Mom does not work and has bragged about all the money and stuff she gets from welfare. This is all documented with his lawyer but in small-town Illinois, it's hard to get a judge to rule against mom or even 50/50 rights so far he gets Wednesday at 230pm to Thursday and every other weekend waiting for court for pretrial on the 28th of March to try to get another day. While knowing how they are being emotionally abused with narcissistic parental alienation. For monetary gain my husband and I are at a loss we show love and care and attention and reconstruction of her feelings how she is sad or angry and when she does things to us how it makes us feel like play therapy has said nothing is working someone, please comment about what to do, please 🙏 I know I've done a lot of grammar and run-ons but it's so much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is a lot and you need to understand that you are going to have to continue giving and giving until the child gets to a point where she can understand more than one person and begin to discern with what she is told and the truth. It will happen and you are doing everything you can to help her. Let her know you love her no matter what.

[@liviutelearca7511]

It's been nearly 7 months since my son don t want to come to me or spend time together. Nothing. When asked why his only answer is "i don t want to". I do have a child agreement in place but my ex just ignores it. She think she can do everything she wants. I had no contact whatsoever for days,until she decided that i can call him on his phone.He is only 8. I had to get a solicitor in this matter but this things take a lot of time. I know they will work out,but i m worring what will l need to do after, to make sure that he is not affected emotionally and physically? Did anyone else experienced same issue? Take care you all!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Liviu Telearca, just let him know you are there for him, no matter what and even if. Every time you see him, let him know that. It will sink in.

[@ursalaoutrageous9249]

I had a friend who could have benefited from your advice. She was divorced with two girls. She was continuously battling her ex over everything, taking him to court repeatedly for years. It did backfire. At one point her two children turned on her, defying her, cursing her, even physically attacking her. She let them go live with her ex then, at the ages of about 10 and 7, but she lost them completely at that point. She tried repeatedly to win them back, but they wanted nothing to do with her. She died a few years afterwards, completely estranged from her children and financially ruined from years of court battles.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am very saddened to hear that, Nancy Clay. I wish she could have seen this video, too. That is too bad for everyone.

[@laleezy77]

💔

[@portia6498]

There is no such diagnosis as Parental Alienation Syndrome. And please observe that nowadays abusers are savvy enough to pull the alienation card, to avoid accountability and continue tormenting their victims.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching.

[@amydawn9493]

i really need some help to prove this is being done to me with my kids by my narcissistic mother who has my children living under her care when I fell apart from major trauma and iintense grief and from being attacked and hated on by my mother and her side of the family. My dad took the brunt of my mother and her family and protected me as best he could from them. He died 3 years ago and i was left open to the wolves of my narcissistic mother and her nasty family members including my own brother who are her flying monkeys and also narcissists. My children are my only true family and are being made to believe I am a bad mother and dont care about them or make efforts to see them. I am a true kingdom woman who walks with Jesus and prays to God and worships for real. My children know mommy loves God and loves them so very much. please pray for me and my little ones to be protected from all the fear and lies from the enemy through my mother and all her hatefilled family members. God is fighting for me and my kids!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We are here for you also. I am glad your children know you love them no matter what and even if...

[@jesusneversinned5985]

It's impossible to work a issue out on your own within your own family's boundaries and privacy when one part of the family is much cystic and refuses to Back down when it's time to give someone else respect and common decency. My mom spent a year and a 1/2 correcting me or pretending she was every time I said something to my kids when they did something wrong so that way they would automatically doubt me Now they think I'm the one who's wrong They think I don't love them And it's so hard not to get angry when she sits there and tries to correct me and adds in lies and says terrible things I never did Even if it's known that I never did them they are little kids and it's not their fault what they are fault what they are falling for because they only want to give love And receive love, And people think you can't be innocent as an adult that is such a stupid life thanks to the man made definition of innocent that has underlining it's inuations that means you are naive if you are innocent as an adult, Innocent only has one meaning and hear me loud and clear it has 1 meaning only and if you try to give a word more than 1 meaning the only thing you are doing is trying to manipulate the situation. Unless It is a word that has many different branches. Innocence has only one meaning that's why God knew he could tell us To be innocent like a child but know the knowledge of a serpent. Yet to be innocent like a child is to be all loving and all truthful and except all love no matter who may betray you because you are meant to be Vicious in your fight against what we perceive as evil but you are also meant to bless your enemy and if we are not supposed to fight against flesh and blood but fight against principalities and forces of darkness and you're supposed to bless your enemy then that means that action is supposed to be taken in the form of blessing satan himself If does my Christ said he rebukes those he loves and you saw him rebuking satan. This is undeniably a full fact and if you want to argue with it then you obviously contradict everything Jesus said and you're not following what he said you're only following what suits your agenda. I follow Christ because what he taught was straightforward and was not meant to be swayed to someone's agenda so they could feel better when they did wrong cause they couldn't handle just owning up to the problem confessing to God forgiving themselves so the God could give them and they can move on Because they honestly think they are better than everybody and should never have to forgive anyone even if no one is wrong and should never have to ask for forgiveness because they are too perfect so perfect that God would never punish them anyway because oftentimes nothing gets done about these narcissists and there's a reason for that, God has let this continue on for as long as we all could remember because he has been patient and has been waiting for a very long time but I'm telling you time is running out. I love to see people think they are getting away with it and sulk and Take a cozy bath in the fact that they have gotten away with whatever disgusting manipulation they have sewn in a family especially if it is to make a children's mother Look like the enemy And you are the mother's actual mother And you literally just hate your daughter. My mom spent 3 years trying to conceive me but with all of her boys she conceived right away, And I know that's because she was not meant to have a girl but when she kept trying so desperately God gave her a chance and look what she did with it she destroyed it

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am not sure what is happening here. I wish you the best.

[@vennielomeli6547]

Agree to disagree on a segment. Disclaimer: Im not a therapist or a person with credentials in education. I have done a lot of research. I strongly believe that when a child becomes the age of reason and a child has be exposed to parental alienation, A child should not be left alone to figure it out as it was said, nor should the child be left in ignorance. My strong opinion is that is the worst thing a parent can do. This scenario is for the Alienator verses the targeted parent. This child should be educated on parental alienation by a qualified person or a person who really understands conflict and resolution when it comes to Parental Alienation. A person who has to be careful when explaining the alienation traits as to not become an alienator in the process of education. Other parent should not be mentioned as far as accusations being discussed with the child, but child should be educated on sequence of scenarios and allow the child to explain their understanding of Parental Alienation. The Targeted parent should also express that the child has the right to be loved by both parents equally and that the child has the right to love both parents equally.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is a tricky situation. Most kids realize what happened, sadly, sometimes only much later.

[@JustJamie1983]

Sadly happening far too much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

jamie alvis, one time is too much.

[@ColleenDeVoll]

What if have a judge has base her hole case on what the dad has to say. He is a drug deal my grand at 3 yr. pick up a meth piper and start to try smoke it blaming the mother his living in a meth house of sister Jackson is ythe top drug ice queen . Mother has been doing what cps want her to do back has not

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Colleen DeVoll, hard to comment in this space and having never met the people. I hope things work out for you.

[@michaellunos8380]

Thank you. I appreciate the timely reminder to not take the bait and to not allow myself to be drawn into conflict.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Michael Lunos. Glad the video was helpful. Thanks for watching.

[@ColleenDeVoll]

The judge refuse to look up his past record the he his taken away two times before he has police record is on beating women up . He could do 7 to 17 years for all crime he did my daughter and family refuse to look at the

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hope you can get help from an attorney.

[@calvintyleriii2442]

I've got a different reason that I've been alienated from my children my first daughters mama actually used my daughter as a pawn and tried to keep me coming back to her to see my child if I didn't she would convince her that I was mean to her at 3 years old so every time I get her she would cry to go home within minutes of getting to my house and if I didn't call her mom and tell her that she was crying then i wouldn't get to see her for a while and my second daughter's mama was abused by her mama physically but I didn't even know about this daughter until the guy that she was saying was her daddy got out of the way then I get a call when she's 5 years old saying shes mine n i started being a constant in her life until i did too much good then and her mom would think i was going to look like a better parent so she would launch campaign to smear my name and my daughters r up n age to 21 & 22 and our relationship is so distant due to this. I blamed myself for years thinking i wasn't trying hard enough but i was i just couldn't figure out what was going on r the extent of the damage that was being caused because of this until now. I just wish i could figure out how to get a actual relationship with them because they have no idea that their moms even did this and I never would bad mouth them in front of them so it put me as the complete bad guy because I tried to do the right thing by not talking bad about their moms & now here I am the bad guy and they won't have anything at all to do with me Hardly and it breaks my heart

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hope as they enter adulthood that they will open up to you and you can have a relationship with them. Don't give up hope.

[@ianbomberharris]

Great advice but what if it’s so severe your teenage child has cut off ALL communication it’s impossible

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Be open and when possible, let the child know that. Always have hope.

[@lindarosa7707]

Recommended new book: Mercer & Drew (Eds.) "Challenging Parental Alienation,"Milton Park, UK: Routledge, 2022.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for the recommendation.