WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BAND BREAKS UP

[@TheRedSpyInTheBase]

I've been in just about too many bands to count now and the recurring theme is always laziness and difference in effort between the members, so I decided to just focus on learning to songwrite better, I have no idea what to actually do but never ever does everyone in the room have the same goal and work ethic

[@DamianKeyes]

This feels like such a great story to unfold, I love it and want to watch more

[@shamsonight]

This is probably the realest and most accurate comment I've seen regarding bands.

[@TheMentalblockrock]

Yes, I've put a lot of effort into songwriting. The issue then is your new band mates will be resentful because in their mind their own mediocre throwaway songs and ideas are just as good as yours despite the fact that they did not put the effort in.

[@JDODify]

This is totally true and the reason I am happier just working alone in my home studio these days.

[@TheMentalblockrock]

Are you in a band at the moment Danian?@@DamianKeyes

[@EffigyofChaos]

If there’s one thing I can offer for advice it’s that you should not burn any bridges. I’m still really good friends with musicians that I’ve played and bands with and I’m very happy with that and still work with some of those musicians on collaborations. So, if you get kicked out of a band, quit a band, or the band just breaks up all together, respect the decisions of the other musicians while not burning any bridges.

[@AndrewJilin]

Right you are!

[@keithwhite5823]

Effigy of Chaos : You are correct, in theory, however in practice in can sometimes be very difficult. It's easy to respect the decision to move in a different direction than you but when it entails the band having secret auditions for your replacement and the telling you you're fired when you walk into the rehearsal room to find your equipment stacked in the corner it's hard to respect that. I also have a former bandmate who has hated my for nearly 30 years because I left the band when my disabled daughter was born and the record label dropped their development contract because of my key man clause. (not my fault, I never asked for the stupid clause. The label put it in the contract because I had a "unique" voice and writing style-blah,blah,blah.)He has never spoken to me again to this day.

[@natewatchman]

About this time in 2016, I’d been in a band called Bad Ideas for about a year and a half. The project had begun a few years prior as a solo project for the singer with a Frank Turner-esque acoustic folk-punk kind of vibe. Over time, other members got involved, electric guitars were picked up, and more Cure records got listened to. I got the call asking to be involved just before Christmas 2014. A third album had been written but the drummer had left before it could be recorded. I leapt at the chance, being a fan of the band’s most recent electric post-punk influenced material (never got the folk-punk thing, myself...). We rehearsed ceaselessly, made the album, spoke with managers and labels, played Groezrock in Belgium, for crying out loud! I thought the album would come out and we’d have it made, so to speak. Then the singer (and only founding member) had a change of heart, leaving - and effectively disbanding - the band. It was fucking awful. The record we’d made, of which I was and still am exceptionally proud, never came out properly (it was put on Spotify fairly recently without much of a fanfare and the whole thing felt like a huge anti-climax). Only months before the breakup, I had been a Xmas temp at HMV and met some cool likeminded individuals, one of whom was a fan of Bad Ideas. This guy was in a band called Guts who, as luck would have it, needed a drummer. We bonded over the Descendents and Green Day and I was snapped up almost immediately. Three years later, Guts have put out an EP (just to spite Damo, obviously 🤣), had manager and label interest, and played tours and small festivals up and down the country. As a side note, my friendship with a band called River Jumpers, that materialised through my membership of Bad Ideas, got Guts a gig in London, which would become my audition for the other band I’m now in called Miss Vincent. Again, since my involvement, Miss Vincent have toured up and down the country, got a manager, had label interest, and now have fans badgering us on social media for new material. Both Guts and Miss Vincent are on the up and I now can’t believe how disheartened I was when Bad Ideas came to an end. Of course, this is leaving out the other two bands I was in during my time at BIMM that broke up well before my involvement with Bad Ideas, one of whom played at Reading & Leeds in 2011. There’s always more to come. Keep on keepin’ on ❤️

[@Fedbo]

Awesome story, thanks for sharing :)

[@whitegriffin92093]

The band that I joined back in November 2023 as the one of the 2 guitarist broke up recently. It all started when the frontman left in January. He lives an hour and a half away from where we practiced. The bassist stepped in as the new frontman. A month or so later, tragedy struck the other guitarist, the bassist lost his job, the drummer's (the guy who recruited me) other band started to take off. The guitarist joined that band a few months later. Also in January, I joined another band as the bassist, and that band, too, is taking off. The bassist.... well... life happened to him. Because of all that, this band.... gone.

[@dylanedwards2056]

My only band break-up experience that I’ve had so far was in high school. It was over creative differences and I lacked the maturity to handle it properly at the time. I was too headstrong and possessive of the songs I had written and believed for years that I wouldn’t be able to work in a collaborative setting with music again. After some maturing, I started focusing more on developing my skills and style on the guitar and started sharing my progress on social media. Eventually, people reached out to me to join bands and now I’m a part of a music community that gives me purpose and inspiration all the time

[@jadelouisetidman7400]

I basically got turfed from my last band for being autistic. It completely smashed me to bits and had to relearn people skills, enthusiasm and patience amongst others. I definitely did wrong though along the way. And I think a big part of me messing up was insisting on being the best. I play Malmsteen/Gilbert level stuff but all the time locked away doing so depleted my personality and I could not fit it no matter how hard i tried. Still learning from this and moving on. We can do it, thanks guys. Thanks Damian✌️

[@unitedstatesofpostamerica7559]

I was in a really active band but the pandemic put a halt to it. I think the forced break also made people realize they didn’t actually like being in this band that much and we just kept going out of obligation. Now the main singer/songwriter has formed a new project, I think this may be the end. It’s sad because it means an end to one period of life even if perhaps I was growing out of it anyway, but I’m starting to realize there was more good than I actually realized at the time.

[@deanathan]

Your info, experience and advice is priceless. Thank you so much for having this as an open channel for everyone 🤘🏽

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so so much! 🙏🙂

[@briant40]

Great inspiring stuff for musicians. Its always tough when the band breaks up. Its happened to me quite a few times. One of the things Ive learned from a band break up is if you love what you do. You keep on going. I wasnt a songwriter for some past bands...maybe more of a collaborator. As time went on I didn't want to rely or depend on people. I wanted to have something on my on whether they stay or go. Over time I would write all the parts and do the vocal melody. I think ive been able to get more done this way instead of relying on their input. So for my 2 cents. Learn to write all the parts for yourself if you can play the instruments and etc. That way you can have a full product for members to join in and it will be written or modified.

[@DamianKeyes]

I absolutely love this message Brian, thanks dude

[@CreepyHouseMusic]

Great advice. I've learned all this stuff the hard way and still learning everyday. I've put a lot of heart and soul into music just to get left with nothing in the end time and time again. It hurts. I just keep on writing songs and working on My craft. When one road ends another begins. Life is a journey.

[@DamianKeyes]

Love this message Jayson!

[@golfhound]

I know hindsite is 20/20. Hopefully, you made a lot of friends while you were in that band. The more friends you have, the easier it is to get back on your feet. The quicker you regroup the better. take a couple of days to yourself and write down long term and immediate goals. create a plan and stick to it. It also helps to know EXACTLY what you want. Hopefully, your skills are good enough to make you marketable.

[@thesuncollective1475]

My band split over 10 years ago..I am now a songwriter exploiting a gift I never thought I had! There is life after band.

[@CollectiveFX]

Two out of four members quit last night. We had been gigging and touring since 2012, released 1 album, 1 single, and had just recorded our second album back in October of 2019. Shortly after that, we did a tour to New Orleans, Louisiana with another band that is like family to us(this was huge for us as we had talked about touring with them for years.) The 2 guys that quit claimed they were burnt out and not having fun anymore - understandable, but when it came time for the two to announce their departure, they didn't do it in a respectable manner that you would expect your best friend/ bandmate to do. Instead, they pointed fingers and said I'm the reason they're not having fun, and that I'm always a bad mood. 1.) you're responsible for your own happiness 2.) I make an effort to not show up to practice with a bad attitude. It is super important to be in excepting state of mind so creativity can flow that much smoother. The bad attitude they are referring to was when I had to speak up about how frustrated I was getting that they would rather socialize for 3hrs and only practice for about 45 mins. This was happening every practice and the recordings of our practices had the proof. Apparently, they are sensitive to Scoldings and couldn't handle a bit of tough love. I love these guys but sometimes you have to know when to tune in and get to work. This sudden and rather rude sign-off has left a bitter taste in the remaining member's mouth. The other Band member and I will continue to make music and get this album mixed, mastered, and delivered without them as we are super proud of the work we have done. MY ADVICE: Create with love and passion.

[@ShannonBookMusic]

Some of the best advice I’ve heard!!! I left a band about two and a half years ago (creative differences), and it has taken almost two years to recover enough just to sit on a bar stool and play music again by myself. I wish I had seen this then. Thanx for what you do!!!

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so so much Shannon!

[@graemeadams3890]

Hey Damien! Great reminders that life will go on if you band has to call it quits! My question is how do you know when it is time to shutter the doors of the band and retool. I am the brains behind my band song writing, musically I front the band and all marketing, design and merchandising and gig getting. But we have gone through several drummers and guitarists and the joy isn’t there anymore - the “brotherhood” has turned into how much are we getting paid to do the gig all the excuses that come from people that just aren’t on the same path. We have completely stalled at creating new music because the chemistry isn’t there anymore. When do I say “hold up , I might need to rethink this and come back out with a new crew”. Thanks

[@DamianKeyes]

Hi Graeme, Amazing question. There was something very telling you wrote 'The joy isn't there'. One thing with a band is that it's hard enough when everyone is pulling in the same direction and everyone has the excitement and energy, it's doubly hard when that has gone. I'm not saying now is the time to quit or start again but now is the time to acknowledge that something needs to change. Whether that is setting new goals and targets but I don't think this is a healthy position to be in. Incidentally this is exactly where i was at at the end of my term at bimm. I felt a bit lost and that I was just in it because it was easier than not being in it. Totally understand your predicament dude its a tough one

[@MrDogonjon]

Whenever I am in a band it breaks up. Sometimes it may take a couple of years but they break up eventually. While the band is gigging I form relationships with club managers, owners, agents so that once the band ends I can get a gig as a soundman or soloist. I play solo classical guitar on the side which I parlayed into a series of wedding gigs. These wedding requested many songs for their ceremonies so I developed my arranging skills to make popular songs solo guitar pieces. Some of these requests were super cool so I developed them some more and worked vocals into the arrangements. i formed a duo with a cellist for weddings which was totaly awesome. My cellist went off to music school so I got a guitar synthesizer to replace him. My sound got fuller with string and flute accompaniment to my solo arrangements. Slowly developing my singing voice I eventualy got gigs singing and playing solo. A difficult show to play alone I prefere to play instrumental solos. I worked in many progressive rock songs by Genesis, Yes, King Crimson, ELP along with many grunge favorites by Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters merging them with my classical repertoire using Bach Bouree, cello prelude in D, Musette, along with my russian set with Mussoesky Pictures at an exehibition, Tchaikovsky Nutcracker suite, blending in songs I wrote for Shakespear plays Merry wives of Windsor, Midsummer nights dream and twelfth Night. the result is a very difficult set no one really wants to hear but I enjoy .

[@Fedbo]

Have you already told the story about why have you left the musician's institute? I'd love to hear about it!

[@sethmarmon]

Yes id love to hear more

[@simonvegas793]

I'll second that! Intrigued.

[@DamianKeyes]

I havent but I can do that, I might need to prepare myself for a bit of an pride/ego kick in but I can do that soon. I'll do a story time. Thanks dude I will get on it

[@Fedbo]

@@DamianKeyes I can imagine it can be hard to open up to so many people, do it in due time! Loving the content, you always leave me wanting more

[@AndrewJilin]

@@DamianKeyes I'd like to hear that story also

[@DanSharpDrummingChannel]

My story is .... I only enjoy music when I drink. I don't drink and play with a band, I save it for after. I record our gigs. It seems this habit has gained momentum over many years. I literally can't enjoy music unless I drink. I am considering putting the drums away, get back to my old school ways of working out, sports etc. More healthy. It really sucks, that I can't do both, but I just can't. Hoping to make a comeback after I get over this. Thank you for your inspiring words.

[@JakeyWakey]

Don't wait ten years to start back up like me 🤦‍♂️

[@DamianKeyes]

Wow, yeah brilliant advice. What made you start up again dude?

[@JakeyWakey]

@@DamianKeyes Basically, the internet.

[@TheMentalblockrock]

I waited 25 years, because I had a 20 year writers block (i.e. only one or two decent song/riff ideas per year).

[@matthewgilbert1412]

I’m still on my first band, we’re doing good but I’d like all the good advice and examples I need.

[@fortuan]

I have started my first band back in high school and I remember all the struggles that people below the age of 18 have to go through. Not being able to drive a car to a gig, not having enough money for a gear, not having a decent place to rehearse, you name it. At the time, I have been the lead guitar in the band and the band was formed by a singer having the urge to sing and manage things. We managed to get a rehearsal room at our high school and had rehearsals once a week. We played just cover songs, something not surprising for a cover band made of 15-year olds but still we managed to get some gigs at local music schools or some seasonal high school festivals. I have played on the cheapest electric guitar I could find in the guitar store because my parents never thought of my music passion as something they want to support. I remember things going south when we got kicked out of the rehearsal room. Suddenly the fragility of the whole formation became obvious and we started to meet in each other's home where the conditions for rehearsing were terrible. There were 4 of us: The singer, me as a lead guitar, a bass player and a drummer. First, the drummer, and also the most experienced musician at the time, left the band saying that the band had no longer any potential. Then, as a result of deteriorating morale, the singer kicked the bass player and myself out of the band for not caring enough for the band. I vividly remember the desperation when these things occurred, a feeling so close to a breakup in a romantic relationship that it shocked me. For a long time, I have struggled to get back to serious playing. However, things started to get better after a while and at this point, I am happy that I had the opportunity to play in a rock band at the age of 15. I mean, it is hard to get so many people on the same page of having the same taste for music and whenever that happens it is great to be a part of it. At this moment, I am a 24 year old lead singer & guitarist in a band that creates its own author music in English, even though we are from a post-communist country. At the same time, I perform in a cover band that plays only on weekends that is able to provide all the 4 members of the band with a monthly income on the level of average salary of the country where I live in. This was all possible thanks to the experience that we all had from our previous bands that broken up, thanks to the fact that we all know that the most important thing in a band are the people you play with and the willingness to work together.

[@DamianKeyes]

Wow what a great story and you had me nodding at the screen for the first part of it. I remember all of those problems from being under 18 but knowing that we had to find a way. Great story dude thank you so much

[@TrevorHuntMusic]

I have no band. Lol so, no breaking up for me! I do all of my stuff solo.

[@DamianKeyes]

In that case definitely don't break up.. could be disastrous lol

[@mothcake8928]

I was just thinking the same thing! I do all my own stuff too. Starting to wonder if I could even be in a band at this point because I’m so used to having all the control 😂

[@crossbondcharles]

Hahaha my band failed n i went solo. I relate!!!

[@jordanmiles106]

Damian Keyes underrated reply

[@AlpakaRodeo]

Sometimes a breakup can really push your own motivation, because it makes you realize what you really want. In my case, my co-producing buddy left the project (which was set up as an hobby project anyway) after having created a few songs together. I was like "That's completely fine, there's absolutely no problem if you set your priorities new", because at the same time I was sure that I wanted to not dump the project but push it further on my own first, then look for collaborations with other creatives and continue, just not giving up. Because I'm definitely in love with making music and I still have my goal of making as many people as possible happy, having fun and a great time with my music, both them and me. So guys, that's what this often called "passion" is about, the feeling of "I just HAVE to continue". Not in the negative way of "I need to do that, because otherwise everything done so far was just useless" but in the very positive way of "That's really what I want to do, because I'm so living this feeling of creating something!" :)

[@TD-bk5nv]

This is really nice to read. I've just left a co-producing project that my writing partner cares about a lot more than I ever could. He's really upset about it and I can't help but feel guilty. This comment gives me hope he can pick himself up. I really hope he has a similar attitude to yours :`)

[@glasshouseproject7098]

When I left my band I started this channel, documenting a lot of the hiccups from the start. I’m only six months in so I’m very much still in the down period. I’m taking a lot of pride in what I do though now and writing with control I never had before. Leaving your band sucks but there are definitely upsides

[@DamianKeyes]

And a great channel it is too dude

[@regulahjoeshmoe2633]

as a guy whose in a band thats doing good.. *well after seeing your vids i realize we have ALOT more to do,* but still feeling that lingering feeling. anyway dude your videos are massively helpful thanks!

[@gregbaker6215]

I'm so glad you made this video. I have been reclusive from the band breaking up for three years. It was by far the most depressing time I have been through and I have been through three divorce's as well. We had been recording what was to be the first album and about 2/3 of it complete. Then blind sided by of all things the bassist/singer/co-collaborater bailed on the project all together. It blind sided me because I wasn't paying attention. In retrospect, I was in my own little world of creating the songs and lost track of his mind and how impatient he had become of the process and time it took to record in the way we went about it. I was devistated. I haven't spoken with him ever sense. I don't feel I will ever speak with him. It might be different if we had some one waiting in the wings to jump in and take his place. Unfortunately that some one doesn't exist. And to find some one of that caliber of talent and deadication to a band/family. It's, I'm convinced, impossible...or at least for the last three years it's been impossible and extremely frustrating.

[@DamianKeyes]

Hey Greg, Thank you so much for sharing this. What are you working on at the moment? Are you in a new project or are you planning a new project? If I can help with anything let me know dude 🙂 Damo

[@gillsontoast]

Its deffently not over if the band breaks up. My former band broke up and 3 out the 5 of us are now in a new project and happier now with what we are producing it's so much more fun. When the former band split both guitarist started our new project pretty much the next day they asked me to come on board I kindly declined as I felt I needed time to think about whether to carry on in bands or give up completely. We stayed in touch but about 5-6 past I said I was interested and pretty much 3 years on we are stronger than ever. So it's not the end I would just say take some time to reflect on you and what you want.

[@DamianKeyes]

Love this!

[@adammelvin]

Great stuff as always, really appreciate the advice and tips!

[@DamianKeyes]

Thanks so much Adam

[@adammelvin]

Nin problem, I’m a singer songwriter playing solo now after being in various bands, and I’ve been watching your videos for a while now. If you have a minute, would you check out my music. new single below, I followed some of your tips and have seen more stream/views than with any other of my releases. Many thanks . open.spotify.com/track/3YECe3ikP3iR4xBc3ZpSt5?si=3Db-gdP2ScGMSh0jd3_Qyg

[@thomaswalz3515]

I smelled it coming... and realized it was all for the better... I went solo acoustic... and some of the fans still show... Now starting to get the band bug again... but keeping my solo chops strong... Much practice room work to come.... Band relationships are like romantic relationships... at breakup, move on, move on quickly... it's always NEXT! Go!

[@DamianKeyes]

Love this Thomas! NEXT! Go! 🙂

[@gregmattessich4733]

My bassist has become incredibly toxic and constantly gaslights me and criticizes me because I truthfully do 95% of the work, he’s only wrote like 2 singles. Everything else was me. The name and original formation is technically his, however. No matter how much my drummer is on my side, he is pretty insistent on keeping the name and the KZbin channel that I built which really sucks for me because I lost all that work. Fortunately I have a good bundle of material I can re-use, more than an EP’s worth. After months of arguments every other practice I finally feel a sense of inspiration. I was frustrated for a long time but didn’t want to step away. I finally feel a little more comfortable now starting again on my own but it’s really terrifying

[@SuperJimic]

Great video sir. I have just left my band of 6 years doing some serious gigging with a recent new record deal also. Personal life and a new born baby has taken priority for the short term whilst the band carry on as I cannot commit to the time gigging they need. A break from it to sort out all these changes and then getting back into it stronger and just as passionate.

[@mcdalek2233]

Three years ago, after getting kicked out of a band, I was very motivated to get a new project going. I had a friend who is an unbelievable guitarist, and thanks to somebody in a band that my ex-band had played with, I got introduced to a drummer. I was a bassist myself, and really wanted to give the whole "frontman" thing a go, next thing I knew I had this amazing Heavy Metal trio that I had essentially formed, and couldn't wait to get serious with Sadly though it couldn't last forever. A couple of times my guitarist friend mentioned the idea of bringing in a second guitar player into the band, however nothing came out of it. One night however, after playing a gig, we're at a bar with some friends having drinks and I look over at one point to see this friend of mine asking a friend of his about joining the band on rhythm guitar. Next thing I know we're a four piece, and I was worried, my friend had just added another member to the line-up, without properly consulting anyone, and somehow the drummer was completely. What other changes would my friend make without checking with me first? Turns out things were even darker than that. I never thought about what the new guitarist would bring to the table, I was too busy in my mind worrying about the existing members, but things turned toxic very quickly. At first things were great, having two guitarists gave us a heavier, thicker sound, and the guitar harmonies sounded fantastic but music wasn't the only thing being brought in. It turns out the new guitarist was very outspoken, and unafraid to give criticism. First I was told to get singing lessons, and when none of the other members challenged this, I suddenly find every aspect of my musical expression is being torn apart, not just my singing style and ability, but also the way I dress on stage, right down to one comment in our band's fb chat saying "And if you could get better fitting clothes, I wouldn't mind"... It took a while but slowly it dawned on me this isn't a friend giving another friend helpful criticism. None of it is constructive, and some of it might even be abusive. I started talking to friends and confiding with them, and many of them agreed and could completely see my side of the story. The politics got difficult enough that finally I confronted the band about this, and how I felt, but sadly nothing changed. They seemed completely unaware of how cruel and demeaning the comments being made were, and kept on saying that none of this is being said to be vindictive or humiliating, Yet at the same time I'm having things I said get taken out of context or blown out of proportion, and even having my seriousness and dedication for what is the band that I formed taken into question. So sadly, even if the aim wasn't to drive me out, that is exactly what has happened. It's sad to put so much time into something and then have it end so badly, but I realised I need to distance myself, and find a new project with people that are capable of supporting and building each other up, not tearing them apart. I thank Damian for giving me a place I can share my story, somewhat anonymously, and I'm sure there will be people reading this who have experienced a similar thing, or maybe this could help someone out who sadly ends up with an experience like this later in life.

[@Cadavra]

My band broke up yesterday, we were a band for 6 months. I already miss the band

[@Shaggy137]

very helpful advice, hard to find legitimate advice on youtube

[@sonidophore9100]

Oh man, bands sound great.

[@stewartmatheson3101]

Great stuff Damian keep up the good work! I was the bassist in a band for the best part of my late teens and 20's the singer went travelling and came back a year later but the band was never the same. I still felt the urge to create and started going to the studio with just me and an acoustic guitar. I had to learn to play rhythm guitar and sing and took it from there. Now in a full band as singer guitarist with 3 other solid guys and things are going great. We are still hammering at the door of getting out above our local scene but I'm happy with where we are at and looking forward to the future! It's only the end when you give up.

[@DamianKeyes]

Amazing! Thanks Stewart. I agree it's only the end when we give up... I love that!

[@stevewalker2962]

Hey Damo, brilliant advice as usual. Last year, after 12 months of forming a new band with 3 friends and then writing, gigging and building a fan base, the drummer and bass player decided to leave. It got a bit messy for a while and I know it affected Mike (our singer/guitarist) more so because some of it was aimed at him. Fortunately tho, we've been mates for 17 years+ now, we sat down and talked about it. We decided that we had built up the band in quite a short period of time (we'd done it all before since 2004, so like you say, you start with a map, or hit the deck running) and we weren't gonna let this blip stop us. We continued doing acoustic shows and just decided to continue writing and get new members when they came along and felt like the right fit. We have since found an amazing drummer and have decided to record what we have and we are sure we'll find a bass player that fits just as well as the new drummer. Stick with it and continue to play, regardless of whether it's a new band or a new line up 👍🏻

[@DamianKeyes]

Love this Steve. The messages have made me so happy and this one is superb! Thank you!

[@stevewalker2962]

@@DamianKeyes Thanx Damo, you've had a big influence on me and Mike over the past couple of years and we do genuinely appreciate your advice. You keep making em and we'll keep watching em 👍🏻

[@detlevgebers]

Buying a looper an go on 😜🤘A nice result is I'm independent. Just me, my bass a singer and a saxophone player. And the looper of course. He always knows time, groove, key... He never comes to late... No endless discussions... 🥂VERY GOOD channel by the way.

[@DamianKeyes]

lol Brilliant... Back in the day I used to have a drum machine live called Roland 😂 Thanks dude

[@BassThatGuitar]

Love this channel and I've been watching the videos for a few days. This was the one that got me to subscribe. I just left my band a couple weeks ago and it felt like I was in a fog. They were the best musicians I found but it really wasn't working out. I genuinely thought I wasn't going to be able to make music with anyone anymore. I've always been in 2 or 3 bands at a time for the last four years and I dropped all other creative projects to focus on this one band. When I left, it was the first time in a long that I was without a band. I didn't make that decision lightly as I had been thinking about it for a couple months. I started watching your videos and that inspired me to start jamming with other people and go out to more shows to reconnect with other musicians and friends . I'm now actively looking to find a new project and I'm excited to write the next chapter. The future holds many possibilities and I feel happy playing my bass again.

[@DamianKeyes]

Tarun, thank you so much for the sub and for sharing that story. I think you will have many offers being a bass player looking for work and I think the most important thing is you enjoy your playing. As a bass player i turn to my music whenever times are hard and whether it's jamming with mates or gigging, it always brings a sense of purpose and calm to my life. Thank you so much 🙂

[@piotrtrypus]

Thank you Damian! Your advices are always priceless and helpful to me :)

[@Yet_another_placeholder]

At the last point: Are you saying, basically, that I should document my journey as a musician from the start, even when starting out with no fans, so that people can see what I'm doing and feel like they're part of something? (I'm assuming here that this point also applies to solo artists, not only bands)

[@ScottFuckinRitchie]

My band is about to break up. I think I’m just going to write, record and produce my own music. That way there is only one direction instead of four or five. Only one schedule to work around. I won’t have to wait around for other members to practice, or for them to just blow of recording sessions, and play half assed gigs that are sloppy because members didn’t want to practice the material.

[@seanpaul6444]

Good stuff Damo! When I went full time music a few years back I took all my friends with me on Facebook and it was a fantastic experience. It was a group of around 300 people who I actually knew and it was a great way to sort of come out as a musician. After a couple years it was time to move on and I dropped the story and let it float off to make way for the coming chapters.

[@DamianKeyes]

Hey Sean, Thanks for this, hopefully those chapters are still coming in thick and fast!

[@seanpaul6444]

You bass players always want it thick and fast but you know the high strings are the heart strings! 🙈

[@marcod.porter9807]

I've been through all manner of emotions regarding my experiences in running bands. Joy, misery, ellation, frustration and apathy. I've been the good guy, the bad guy, the diplomat/baby sitter, and the 'oh fuck it all' guy. From my past I have to be honest and see that my desperstion to 'make it' made me ignore alarm bells about former band mates and their personality faults. Plus I definitely lacked in maturity and communication skills. But I don't regret any of it. Looking back, I now see that every mistake, argument and break up really were some of the best life lessons I've had to learn. Non-creatives can never truly understand the emotional roller coaster a person experiences in a band. A life in music really does make you grow up due to the life lessons it gives you. Mostly they are hard lessons. But once the dust settles and find your feet again, you're a much stronger person.

[@DamianKeyes]

Love this message!

[@PushButtonPress]

One week before a tour my bass player quit. I then vowed to never rely on any one person again, which ended up being a big mistake artistically. My advice is do not let getting burned by bandmates scar you into not trusting other people.

[@DamianKeyes]

Ouch that must have been hard for you dude! Great advice

[@grizzlysoul3428]

Really loving your newer content Damo!

[@mikemckay4256]

After 9 years of toiling and finally releasing our first full length record (3 weeks ago) we’ve broken up. I’m both heart broken and crestfallen by this. These were my brothers and our music meant the world to me. How do I bounce back from this sir?

[@didocomeback]

I like this question a lot.

[@DavidBridwellMusic]

Also related to tip 3, don't reflect on your old band years later during your solo gigs. People want to see you moving forward not stuck in the past

[@DamianKeyes]

Very good advice

[@chetman1010]

Very Helpful Thank you to all the comments and Damian on this subject.

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so much Kent

[@AndrewJilin]

Yes. I've been there. The band broke up partly because of me and my day job. Partly because of my Japanese partner. We had different goals in life. He wanted to build a musical career from the scratch in Russia. I just wanted to play interesting music. I didn't put too much energy into it. He wanted more. Now we are still friends but he left Moscow. The band divorce is the start of something new.

[@grsfhhytff]

I split my band up and it was a weight off my shoulders. I'm saving tons of dough, I don't have to deal with manchild musicians and I'm not constantly on social media screeching into the void. Go and climb mountains if you decide to sack it. It's well better for you 😂

[@CraigABuchanan]

I remember being in America for 3 months, was recording some songs at a studio in that time and my entire band split up. I was pissed off and couldn’t do anything about it... so I wrote songs and used them quitting to fuel my inspiration. My best mate was one of them and he said he would be waiting to do something with me when I got back. Honestly, it feels bad but it’s not the end of the world... just don’t do what I did to your drummers car HAHA glad I don’t drink anymore too!!!

[@jphi1000]

My band imploded and a 10 year friendship has ended. I've been heartbroken but since then it's been good. I'm playing bass with a country singer songwriter and she's got a big show booked next month. Me and this singer have meetings this week to book more shows. And there looks to be some funding to get my old job back at the community radio station

[@andrewmoore4745]

Great video mate. Experience is what it’s all about!

[@DamianKeyes]

Thanks Andrew

[@HumbuStudio]

On tuesday i'll announce to the band i've played with for the last three years that I leave. We did the opening for Mass Hysteria ten days ago, the highest gig I went so far, but i'm pretty sure we're hard stuck at this level. Then I feel confident about why I leave. We are pushing in different directions and losing energy. I feel sad because I really enjoyed the music we did. I feel weird because my "5 years back in time" me would be angry that good music can't justifiy the whole... But this actually is. The "today" me can accept this and here I am, building my own stuff =) So thanks Damo for this video that empowers my decision and motivate me even more for what's next ! You've been a mentor for me !

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so so much. If I can help with anything after you have done it I'm right here for you. It might be a tough thing to do but go with your instincts. Big love! 🙂

[@HumbuStudio]

@@DamianKeyes Hey Damian ! Done ! It was a tough conversation but we all did it. And I hope for the best of everyone. Actually I thought again about the help and I think you could help us all about something. "How important is the concept of a "niche" ? Is it possible to build an audience with something that would be a "non-niche niche" ? (ex : targetting people that says : "I listen to all kinds of music") Thank you for everything ! And may the force be with you =)

[@nimrodsopinions]

Thank you Damo, needed this tonight

[@lukedebiase8212]

I love all your videos that ive seen. I hope my bandmates listen to your advice to heart when I show them your videos

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so much Luke! I'm here if you need me

[@dannydiaz8990]

I got kicked out of two bands because of drugs(also just tension) tried another one a year later and broke up in weeks. I’m doing solo now and just trying to get right. It’s the most haunting journey I’ve ever had, and yeah there’s a fuck load of legit reasons why i wasn’t ready to be in a band. I think going solo for a bit right now and just doing open mics is a healthy form of self exploration and also just to get better at your craft and song writing. Life is crazy. All i know is, fucking get right. When your judgment is clouded and you’re being literally controlled by demons and you’re trying to make music you can create shit that isn’t even what you want and it doesn’t help with social pressure. Also differences in visions. Religion etc. there’s just a lot that goes into it. Don’t get me wrong it’s a beautiful journey and it’s been awesome realizing all this. But it’s a ride

[@DamianKeyes]

This is such a powerful message Danny, thank you so much for sharing. I hope the solo stuff is going well and you are enjoying it more and if I can help hit me up. You are so right, it's a ride!

[@EarthtonesCymbals]

In summary...breathe in, breathe out, repeat as many times as possible. ♪♫♪

[@franticromantic5301]

I’m on my 4th band. You can tell when folks care and when they stop caring. Just gotta forward with the next project.

[@DamianKeyes]

Sounds like a good plan to me!

[@franticromantic5301]

Damian Keyes Damian! It’s always a treat to hear from you directly. Hey do you want a copy of my band’s full length album coming out soon?

[@Lukas-cg3ms]

I love the content that is put out on this channel💯

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so much Lukas 🙏🙂

[@undercrackers56]

Yup! Been there. I was the twat that shelled out money to buy P.A. and all the accompanying gear. Now it sits in the garage. I have tried to form another band since, but it is lean pickings in this part of the UK.

[@tolerbearALTII]

Jesus was my passion. Still is but I want to go bigger carrying my faith to others, but I'm also feeling defeated. 13 years and a couple of other projects makes me feel it's down the drain. I've picked up some things through the 20+ years I've been involved in making bands and music but this video will help musicians with the same defeated feelings. Just venting. No replies wanted other than musicians who are like minded after watching the video. I wish I could let his advice sink in.

[@olivarionline]

Also... it's the perfect time to write new songs. I find it frees you from falling into the trap of writing for the people that you play with and in the exact style of the band. You can now express yourself more openly. Also this way if you start another band, you'd have some demos to get things going creatively instead of starting with covers.

[@DamianKeyes]

Great advice. I know that whenever times are hard I turn to music which brings a sense of calm and purpose to my life. Thanks Antonio

[@olivarionline]

@@DamianKeyes True thanks.

[@beneve1307]

Hey Damo, been a while! Great video, my old band mutually decided to break for a while last Sept, and I took a while out. I am now back in a new band, only a few weeks old, but I can see how it could be taken forward so easily with experience from the old band, especially considering the new opportunities that are available in an urban area (Bristol, I moved up from Dorset at roughly the same time)

[@DamianKeyes]

BEN! Thanks for this, when you have some stuff send it over to me so I can have a listen! 🙂

[@EffigyofChaos]

Great video and very inspirational!

[@DamianKeyes]

Thanks so much 🙂

[@AndrewJilin]

But there is another story. I played drums in one band about 10 years ago. They were constantly drinking on rehearsals! I left them after a couple of shows. Now we are having a drink outside of the band :-)

[@Unleashed5634]

My band feels like they want to stop because the say they practice too much

[@crossbondcharles]

From kenya I had a band two weeks ago n everyone was coming with different agendas during training After investing a lot of effort n time plus looking for funs the basist turned away n he was our backbone... The band broke n i cried like a little boy

[@stephenraven8007]

I'm in a disfunctional band. I still write music and record but I havn't broke it up. People just pretend to be in it and I do the work. Is this bad? Am I waiting for nothing?

[@magnusor304]

My band just broke up, dont know why and im hurting, ny band had a hit single last year and was played on the radio for six months, so im kinda confused. No argument or anything

[@bowlerboyz3498]

Band just broke up... 😟

[@hollaceprestyn8515]

Oh I just started a banned got mad at someone and I hurt there feelings then she left so I didn’t talk to them

[@drummingtildeath]

I found out that my bandmates thought all my good advice/ideas on how to go from amateur to somewhat professional were nonsense. They thought stuff like keeping dead air minimal, rehearsing to a click, and rehearsing specific parts of songs that were sticky, were just me being anal. I kicked myself out of the band.

[@winnietheweeaboo6533]

Heh, my band didn't soo much break up than they did give me a swift kick to the nutsack and exile me indefinitely... Same difference really : )

[@ckowalski1029]

What if the band is signed to a record label? What happens then, is that going to be a legal issue?

[@Rudd3r]

Where do you stand if you wrote a few songs as a band, but you break up. However, you start up a new project and want to play some of your old songs....do you need to seek permission from the contributors of the song, can they stop you from playing them?

[@alfrednube]

When I was starting my second band I played some song from my first band and my previous drummer heard them and didn't take it so well. I guess it's not illegal if the song aren't registered but it would be advisable to tell your previous bandmates if you want to keep in touch.

[@Fedbo]

Hi Damo! I've been binge watching a lot from your video catalogue, I would like to buy your book. Question: in a super fast changing world of social networks, new algorithms and so on, is it still relevant? Would you change something about it or do you plan to update it with articles of parts that might not be valid anymore?

[@gordonbihl100]

Mr Damien I'd like to email you and talk. I'm going through a whirlwind of stuff as far as band issues and the project I just left and I need some kind of clear guidance and you seem the kind of guy that could help.

[@toilettunes1]

not bad......... some good food for thought

[@iamkintsugii6103]

Heyo Damo I’m planning on releasing some singles every 2 weeks or so for the next couple months. I’ve listened to your thoughts on EP’s but I have a question: what are your thoughts on putting out the singles and on the 5th single, gathering them together into an EP. Then continuing on the single release schedule until the next 5 songs. Is this a good idea? Thanks :)

[@winnietheweeaboo6533]

That's a good question, I too would like to hear your thoughts regarding this.

[@Tthisdale]

Hey Damian! Thank you for this. My drummer and best friend just left our project less than a year after we decided to quit our salary jobs and to pursue this business. I definitely panicked at first but decided to continue without him instead of disbanding completely. We put in a lot of time and money into this brand and have accomplished things I only ever dreamed of so I am not ready to let this die. What's your take on this?

[@DamianKeyes]

Hi Tomy, I love this, it's all about your passion and who knows whether you change your mind later but right now you need to follow your instinct. If I can help in any way hit me up!

[@Tthisdale]

@@DamianKeyes If you ever need any music feel free to use anything The Carbons produces! I think this one in particular would fit your channel. open.spotify.com/track/10NblX63kzKTW6LfhBPGo4?si=D4s0f42CScysxd8GmxW_jA

[@Tthisdale]

@@DamianKeyes Hey Damian! So I've been following your advice and it has been working marvellously for the most part. I had a little disappointment yesterday after I had been building hype up for a while and I was wondering if you had a minute to analyze what might have gone wrong. Let me know and I will give you more details. :)

[@DamianKeyes]

Tomy Thisdale absolutely Tomy, email me and let us both have a look and a chat my email is [e-mail]

[@tijedehaan4647]

Could you please make a video on how to come up with an artist/band name. I have been struggling for years with finding a name that I will like for a long time, sounds professional and is original. I can't use my personal name because it's Dutch and just doesn't work in english and I begin to dislike every idea that I have after using the name for a couple week/months.

[@DamianKeyes]

OOh I think I have one of those... see if this helps at all Tije kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIOWnJisbpaUj6M

[@redbandit8951]

It’s traumatic

[@bradychungus4321]

good boy

[@DamianKeyes]

Thanks 🙂

[@jeremybean-hodges6397]

One piece of advice you've overlooked here: divvying up the intellectual property you created with the band. Some members might even want to carry on with a few new band members, under the same name. Some might want to keep playing certain songs if they feel they have the right to do so. This should be quickly discussed and sorted up front, so there's no nasty surprises.

[@yeahwhatever7723]

One direction! !!!

[@soysweetPaulo]

Great video Damian! I've got a question. Currently I'm recording music. However, I can't seem to find a vocalist. How would you go about finding one? I have asked people around me if they knew anyone to introduce me to them. It's just hard to find someone who likes the same genre and is actually a good fit for the band.

[@DamianKeyes]

Hey Paulo, You are doing so much of the right thing with your channel and making music and not waiting to find a singer before starting. The more you build and make things the more that momentum will show and singers will come out of the woodwork. A few tips. See if there are any forums on facebook in the local area... we have a few in the UK like The Dep musician FB forum. Make a video of yourself asking for any singers to collaborate with and who knows you might start to make some new friends. Also you could make a little advert 10 seconds (pics or vid) and sponsor it on instagram/facebook. A small amount of money targeting the right people goes a long way. Most importantly don't let this stop you from moving forward.. Make people come to you because they can see this project is building and it's going to work with or without them 🙂🙂🙂

[@soysweetPaulo]

@@DamianKeyes These are great tips! Thanks so much again for your advice! This seriously helps me out 😀

[@guillermo3564]

Go solo?

[@JDODify]

Surely when your band breaks up you should just celebrate! You know longer have to deal with them arseholes!

[@DamianKeyes]

lol thats definitely when you know it's the right time to end things 😜

[@JDODify]

@@DamianKeyes serious point though, often bands are stressful cos mostly members don't pull their weight. They turn up to rehearsals so that they can practice and you end up teaching people songs they're supposed to have practised in their own time. I've only played in one band I consider to be good, I was a hired paid member, I did my homework and was ready. I actually prefer writing and recording alone!

[@ThomasJ502]

Hey I'm at BIMM

[@beatapt5]

I play in bands, but I'm my own guy. Always consider myself freelance. The majority of musicians are mostly idiots who can't keep a drivers license, instrument, and can't hold on to enough money to get to the next gig. Take care of business.

[@luiszapiola355]

Going solo is much better.

[@arya6085]

You should start a Patreon. Maybe you'll be able to quit your main job (I'm guessing this channel doesn't give you very much income). Sorry if I'm making a stupid questing, I'm new to your channel.

[@DamianKeyes]

Thank you so much Arya, I'm absolutely loving this community of musicians who get in touch in the comments and keep me posted on what they are up to. Tell me more about any projects you are in

[@M5guitar1]

You laugh. Then trash them in You Tube vids, burn all the merch and get back after a year...

[@ericajohnson7535]

Band do break up. Best bands that everybody keeps talking about to this day were only together for just a few years. Lots of examples, like Cream.

[@THESLOWDEATHHOOKS]

worse thing is a when your drummer is a FLAKE and just disappears ... whole thing falls apart lmao

[@DamianKeyes]

Bloody drummers lol

[@caiankeyes2936]

Great vid

[@DamianKeyes]

Thanks awesome dude