What To Do When Your Husband Is Disrespectful | Paul Friedman

It can be difficult to know what to do when your husband is disrespectful. Knowing just how to handle a disrespectful husband, though is, believe it or not, not the real question you want to ask and at The Marriage Foundation, I like to help people achieve more than just a temporary solution to one or two problems. I like to show people how to make their marriages into happiness and love 'machines' so that they never have marriage problems. So, I will tell you how do you handle a disrespectful husband but then let's talk about this in more depth.
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#TheMarriageFoundation
#PaulFriedman
#marriageproblems #frustrated #abusivehusband #abusivepartner #maritalproblems #frustratedwoman

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by: 1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing. 2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways 3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions. Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.

[@ONITOYIN-zh9yf]

Thank you. This is very helpful.

[@geulahdreamscometrue6610]

SOOOOOOO what I needed to hear!!!!! "He may not even be attacking you, he may being a jerk"!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! SOOOOO true! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! I will from now on be proactively loving!!!! I want happiness and love and will provide it for myself by acting that way. I will not mirror his disrespect. I have the power to change everything! YES!!!

[@commiesareevil3823]

Most men are babied and pampered by their single mothers or if they do happen to have a father in the home the father was raised by a single mother and the father is impotent and derelict in their Duty and have no idea how to be a proper father. Most men get married because they want a mommy to take care of them they don't want to take care of other people that's why we have so much divorce and abandoned children in this country. Men need to man up

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Men need to man up and women need to women up but we don't judge people, we only try to help them when they are ready.

[@Verisimilitude_]

It’s not good to generalize like that. Not all single mothers raise sons to treat women poorly - some single mothers have been treated poorly and therefore make it their life’s work to make sure that their sons know how to treat everyone equally with respect. Some of the most respectful and caring men I know are ones raised by single mothers.

[@erenjinchuriki]

I would not say most, but in my own anecdotal experience, my husband was raised by a mother with an untreated mental illness and a father who just couldn’t be bothered to discipline/help his wife and children. He was never taught to be held accountable for his actions growing up. He found me and married me, and I tried to be as nurturing and accommodating as I could. He hardly ever gave feedback when asked, so I assumed everything was going swell. Then out of the blue he proceeded to cheat and abuse me once he got bored. An ex of his contacted me and I found out he has had a history of using and abusing women. Some people are just so broken. Only God can fix them.

[@brokegirl1452]

@@Verisimilitude_ more like the sons take on the role as the breadwinner or the husband for the single Mother lol

[@lotusmccary9365]

Commies are evil ❤

[@moname56]

The hard part is controlling your emotions. How to you stop the response cycle? It ain’t easy.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

This is the very first requirement for happiness and is the first section of both the marriage help course women, and for men.themarriagefoundation.org/system/

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Controlling one's emotions is part of mastering one's mind. It is an obligation that we do so. I show how in the courses. I think it is the most useful part of them and incredibly needed by all of us,

[@alcy0ne1]

@@TheMarriageFoundation There are people who don’t *want* to control their mind if it means they can’t have tantrums and they will never accept any eduction about why you’re not the cause of all their problems. Don’t you ever worry you are advocating for soft-hearted people to be doormats to those angry people or blind themselves to their abuse? Some people will not be satisfied and don’t want to do the work. We can pray for them but for how many years should we wait for miracles while they tear us down and we use our energy to “not take it personally.”

[@cheresehicks8544]

Literally where I am right now. Trying to tell myself to respond differently but I am triggered

[@franziskani]

@@alcy0ne1 I guess if you mastered your emotions (which can be an unrealistic expectation) then you are able to determine if THIS person, THIS marriage is even worth the trouble. The mastery will set you up to separate in an amicable way (if the spouse is not a complete psychopath, or narcissist), and will set you up to see the red flags early on when dating again, and it will get you smooth sailing in the next committed relationship - provided the partner is decent & willing to treat you well and willing to invest effort into the marriage.

[@shalomeloihim3320]

What if you try changing everything but he take it like I can do anything and she will keep loving me

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Learning to love unconditionally means unconditionally and the benefits outweigh the minor inconveniences.

[@merrywhiterose]

I've been ignoring my husband's disrespect for YEARS. It doesn't stop the disrespect. He just thinks he can continue it, since I'm not responding.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

You are right that ignoring won't change him, but changing yourself will change his attitude toward you

[@Legends_gxxx]

I do exactly that. When my husband disrespects me I just stop talking. But he doesnt seem to learn from his mistakes and always keeps doing what he is doing. How will me not responding teach him the lesson not to disrespect me?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

When you became his teacher in your mind you changed the dynamic of your relationship, you lowered it. Only love, only love.

[@perseverancejoe1248]

Thank you sir you have calmed my heart down l have learnt a lot and it really works what you have said

[@NikkiNik-vu5ok]

I can’t help but to react when I feel disrespected and it’s a huge challenge for me to just let it go.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Time to do some self work. Try the course themarriagefoundation.org/

[@chirokathleen]

I get it that as long as I’m reacting and doing what I think is deserved etc, addressing “behaviors” etc then I’m keeping a scorecard. Who am I to dole out punishments to another? That’s like being an Old Testament God. It’s not my responsibility and I’m not good at it. I can be free!

[@itsarisventures]

Powerful

[@moname56]

I do think that some people, no matter how much you “love them” are so broken inside that they true don’t know how to love. Narcissistic come to mind. Are you saying that love literally conquers all. Some men (and women) seem never to accept love, much less give it. How can you give something you’ve never experienced? Unless you understand God’s love. However I’m thinking of someone who knows God but doesn’t want to obey the “love” chapters.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

We are not to judge others, period, but especially your spouse whom you promised to love unconditionally, meaning you don't have any expectations of him loving you in return...Like you say, one cannot feel the love from another, only from God within.

[@asmrfeelingly9366]

I agree with that

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Alot of times, it's not that they are a narcissist or unavailable to love, they just don't love the person they are with.

[@asmrfeelingly9366]

@@show_me_your_kitties yes but if that’s the case why don’t they just I’ve on and let the other person be happy because they are selfishly thinking about what they can get out of you or the relationship

[@show_me_your_kitties]

@@asmrfeelingly9366 because it's hard to let go of someone who genuinely loves you, when you are being so unbelievably unlovable. It fucks with the other person's head too. Use that to your advantage if you're the one more in love. Your welcome.

[@meemaestate]

Super helpful thank you 🤟✌🏼

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I'm so glad that you found useful information here to make your marriage better 🙏

[@jaciemorales3976]

Hard lesson to apply, but I'm learning it the correct road to take in an argument or disagreement with all types of relationships. I'm going to replay this a few times

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Fools argue, wise men discuss. No matter how you may be goaded you always have a choice. Sometimes the best choice is to politely apologize and disengage, Few arguments are worth winning.

[@user-gr3yy9nw4o]

Thank you sir

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

You are so welcome

[@MountainMama2021]

But shouldn't we at least be honest and tell him that what he's doing or saying is hurting us?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

That is not going to change anything in a positive way, so no. It is surprising that most Western psycologists still struggle with this wen its so clear, and sad they don't know what we know.

[@franziskani]

I disagree, and it comes from personal experience (being on the receiving and giving end). But there should be a formal setting for the talk. Could be counseling, or taking the time when both are relaxed and in a calm, positive state of mind. Or at least it should not be everyday communication or when you are still hurt (not calm) or in the middle of a squabble. Often we hurt our partner unintentionally or in the heat of the moment. Or we do not even know that we hit a soft spot (because we are not sensitive in that area, so it is hard to comprehend that another person would be so strongly affected). A spouse with good intentions would want to know - IF that information is given in a non accusatory manner.

[@roshnitabib8289]

One thing is for sure, men have a huge male ego ....don't know who said that male can have ego & it's the responsibility of his wife too handle the situation....

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Your advice and disagreement are quite subjective and honestly while it "may" work the odds are it will blow up on those who try it. The recommendations I offer are never going to do that and will, when taken with all else I share, especially in our courses, work every time. But thank you 🙏

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I don't know who said it either but the same can be said in reverse and in both cases it is a distraction from pursuing love and happiness, the true goals of marriage. 🙏 It is better always to set aside ego and be in your heart.

[@giovana9009]

I feel like I get told to "shut the fuck up" every other day... specially when I ask him to not make a mess right after I organized everything I feel stupid

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Your marriage is clearly not a good connection. Try the course for women themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/

[@mumof3325]

Just can’t accept his behaviour anymore it’s time to bye bye

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Quitting is easy but the suffering will not be. I suggest looking into the course for women themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/ Here is one review "In all of my research in looking for how to overcome our issues and have the best relationship possible I have not found any approach like yours. They are all pretty much the same which is why I was drawn to …as I have tried other things that either don’t work …. Thank you again."

[@Lolagirl-eb6ov]

I can’t say a thing without a negative response from him.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I bet if you always said something loving with a smile on your face and the "I want you" look in your eyes he would react quite differently. We must learn to love and 'be love' with our husbands and wives.

[@rosasanquez8265]

I do that I don't pay attention to his disrespect and don't react to his actions. He takes more then 10 hours doing his tantrum then he relax and act like nothing happened. The cycles goes on and on it's been more then 2 years doing this, my grown kids go to therapy and I do to. But when he gets like that it's like Satan is loose in our house😮‍💨

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Sometimes we are hit with inexplicable things and then all we do is go back to the basics of loving our spouse and waiting out their cycle. I have seen people tested in ways that really push them to their limits but marriage is a path that both teaches us and rewards us, turns us into saints 😀 as we learn to rise above all and go to love.

[@ivonka0404]

Right on point, but isn't shutting off like that during husband's outbursts/attacks being kind of... idle?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Shutting off is not what I suggest, but learn to understand his fears so you can be there for him.. like you would for a child?

[@tsimonson49]

@@TheMarriageFoundation So treat him as a child? Shouldn't men behave like men?

[@jaciemokidm609]

@@tsimonson49 everyone has an inner child.

[@lauraholland5315]

I am walking on eggshells everyday. He silence’s me. Treats me like a child. He jumps in on my conversations and at times tells me to stop talking as he walking through the room. He belittles me. Never apologizes for his behavior threatens with divorce and to kick me out. Allowed his brother to tell me F off. His mood swings are crazy. I feel like I am with a stranger I shouldn’t have to explain my self. I feel like he controls everything in my life. While he goes and has fun with his brother.

[@nganbach9810]

@@lauraholland5315, I am sorry to hear your story. Mine is similar, and I rather have a divorce. We only live one life. Life is too short to be in unhappy marriage. All we can do is to change ourselves. He never changes.