What To Expect When You Marry A Filipina | 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Marry a Filipina

[@ArleneLIWS]

Hey friends! I recently partnered with Christian Filipina dating website. Here’s my affiliate link if you want to check it out at no additional cost to you. www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1684

[@jamalyemen3982]

I am an Arab residing in Saudi Arabia. I work in the management of a company. I am looking for a Filipino girl to marry. Will you help me and have a reward?

[@Jcope-ce9ef]

I pass ,

[@wisdomgoodnews1496]

Is this site only for the American foreigners or it's applicable to other countries

[@ArleneLIWS]

@@wisdomgoodnews1496it’s applicable to all

[@Godeseternal1]

I am currently courting a Filipina lady that I met on line. As we are getting to know each other, our friendship is growing and trust is also growing each day. We have something in common that is very important in our relationship, we are both born again Christians, whereby we have given our relationship to God, and being obedient to Him moving forward. What a wonderful feeling to know that we have a loving match maker in Jesus Christ.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Amen to that, Michael! Blessings to you and your Filipina!

[@tessatvvlog9427]

Amen

[@mkfaruki]

Hahaha the im a Christian line hahaha are you that desperate to get laid?

[@drleo6409]

Sounds great, Just expect her “FAMILY “ to expect $$$$ they really do not like the idea of working, it is hard. Some will but many will not. They pull as much $ as you will give THEM . brothers sisters cousins aunts uncle’s neighbors, Enjoy. Bible principles and laws are superior to cultural expectations. However, poor desperate people do whatever they can to get whatever they can.

[@isreeramotar3868]

My Filipina wife is more strict and conservative than I am. Whenever I suggest giving something to her family, it becomes questionable. In other words, it’s like, don’t create a monster you cannot control later. However, when there’s a holiday or birthday 🎉 both of us will make a decision what to do. Overall though, we have a wonderful relationship for the past 5 years, and the best part, she rides a motorcycle 🏍 and now learning to drive 😅Stay safe y’all 🇺🇸🇵🇭

[@ArleneLIWS]

That’s cool! Thanks for sharing!

[@mikecaesar8293]

Keep in mind, filipinas are super jealous!

[@nbagoats4819]

You're lucky. My wife makes me feel like i'm not doing my duty as a foreigner who married a filipina when I don't pay up. I lived there for 10 years and heard the same story over and over again regarding money and family. You're very lucky.

[@patrickmanley4943]

@@nbagoats4819 You should never be made to feel guilty about anything by your spouse , but especially regarding YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY. F that !!

[@scotttaubold4121]

This is a great video. I have been married to a Filipina for nearly 30 years now and all these 10 things mentioned did come up early in our relationship. You hope you have another video that includes 10 communication snafu's one will come across when married to a Filipina. Less verbal and more non-verbal communication strategies, etc.

[@davidandrewburrows8535]

My wife does not support with money her family. Because she see that it only hurt them and makes then more lazy and dependent upon her for more and more. She also believes in a extreme hard working policy. She want her siblings to work and support themselves. I offer to help her mother but that biblical.

[@kajuta240]

My wife agrees 100% with your stance but still gives money to her parents. She knows its wrong and she is only compounding the issue...but the death grip they have is absolute. Her limit is a couple hundred bucks so they have food, water and electricity while living in our house in the Philippines. They squeal from time to time that they need more...but she is firm that if they want it bad enough they will go earn it. Of course that never happens because reasons. /rolls eyes

[@davidandrewburrows8535]

@@kajuta240 my wife does not support lazy attitudes. Actually this idea of Filipina marrying an American then getting them to support the family is there form welfare. It does not help and encourage them to become more lazy.

[@kajuta240]

​@@davidandrewburrows8535 Word! Had this dialog with my Fiancé before we got married and we came to the easy agreement: Her family wont get money if she doesn't work; if/when she works there was an agreed on limit and comes only after our own needs were priority. She has kept to her word even if they complain they want more. She acknowledges its wrong, just cant shake the lifetime indoctrination. At any rate we both have awesome jobs/salaries, therefore its not having an impact on our quality of life. So many men however with limited pensions and retirement having their entire paycheck garnered to support a whole clan who will just sit around and piss off, its vile tbh. We are fortunate to have abundance and the drain is more like a mosquito or tick level of blood being drawn...annoying in principle yes, but no meaningful impact to our goals.

[@Jcope-ce9ef]

David Andrew Burrows , You are much right .the family will try to use the wife for taking from the husband if she is a good wife she'll see that when they take from her husband they are taking from her and they feel intitled also. Brother Marine you are doing the right thing

[@drleo6409]

I wish my wife felt that way. Her family is totally useless. They make just barely enough to stay alive. Their motto is work as little and have as much fun as possible. They’re like five year old children.

[@warrenrobinson1525]

It is a joy to listen to you giving this talk. I have been involved with a Filipina who was married to a military guy formerly. She has been in the states for 30 years now. So I’ve been around the culture for a while. Why anyone would want to separate someone from their favorite foods of home is beyond me. That would be a crime of callous man. You are a credit to Filipinas everywhere. Your intelligent and Your joy and passion shine through your presentation. Accounting people, from my experience , are mostly dull and dry not very interested in people. But not you, I can tell you are not like that. I wish you much luck and happiness. 😊

[@alanbarnes4520]

You said, it’s a lot of fun being married to a filipina. It’s no fun when they do Tampo all day and refuse to talk. In the Philippines you are not taught how to deal with your emotions, so the little girl in her keeps coming out. This is a very hard habit to break and it can ruin a relationship because they are so self-indulgent. You can take the girl out of the Philippines but you can’t take the Philippines out of the girl.

[@kajuta240]

Tampo was easy to break, I got the silent treatment so I gave it right back. On day 2 I could tell it was starting to rattle her being ignored as she tried to make amends with loving gestures. Driving the point home, I kept at it and as I climbed into bed at the end of day 3, she broke down sobbing and weeping and tried to hug tight. I heard the quiver in her voice as she mounted a woeful apology. I told her never Tampo again, use words and discuss what upset her so we can correct it in a healthy manner. I live a Tampo free marriage, it just took an oz of willpower to crush.

[@ArleneLIWS]

You are absolutely correct about tampo and it’s negative effect to the marriage or to any relationship actually. Thanks for pointing that out. That would have been a good point to add in this video.

[@NATASCOPAS666]

I learned the hard way with tampo almost split us up but I love here very much I learned how to handle it and she is getting better

[@buybuddy3288]

@@BonVoyage861 Get drunk shag another girl... Sage advice Sir....! 🎉🥳

[@ligafftheindifferent3495]

If you have a great deal of difficulty with tampo, here is what I suggest. The next time she pulls that garbage, just let it run its course. You already know that when you try to talk to her she just ignores you and creates angst. So don't. In fact, do not try AT ALL. Keep conversation to a bare minimum. But this is not the key. The key is what you do AFTER she decides it is time to return to normal. When she comes back YOU do tampo to her. This should be at least a full day or the amount of time she did it, whichever is shorter. Do not let her pull you out of it, even if she resorts to using her sexualiy. When that day is over, you tell her that THIS is what it is like to receive tampo. If that does not work, you made need to split up. But if you do, make sure she knows that tampo is killing the relationship.

[@davidtesler1198]

I know Filipinas that said they never want to see the Philippines again and why I do not know but it is a fact. A traditional Filipina understands that she is married to her new family and they must come first. To any men who can't find that type I can try to help you or may I suggest Japan where the women have much class.

[@GeorgeWallace-l1s]

BS Filipinas are married to her OWN family and always will. YOU come second.

[@TheOriginalRick]

Based upon the past 50 years of being married to a Filipina I would suggest... You'll never stop hearing, "Mahal, can you get that down from the top shelf for me?" You'll eventually learn that saying, "Rice again?" is not a good idea. Set aside a separate budget to replace the vacuum cleaner once a year from motor burn-out from her long hair. Also, learn to clean the bathtub drain once a month. You'll never have to buy tupperware as plastic containers from pre-packaged supermarket foods are always available for free. He and she pronouns are always interchangeable. So are she and he pronouns. When your wife tells you a story you'll never know if it has two people, ten people, or fifty people in it because the hes and shes and shes and hes change every sentence or so. If she says someone is a "cousin", just don't ask. Could actually be a cousin. Or a third cousin. Or a cousin's in-law's fourth child's best friend. Or someone she grew up with who lived down the street. Just don't ask and accept that is is a cousin. Did I say she likes rice? Manny Pacquiao is a saint. He's not dead yet, but he is still somehow a saint. She might be jealous. If she tells you she missed you when you come home that may or may not be a good thing depending upon if she is reloading or not. If you take her to a place where the leaves fall off the trees each autumn by January she will be convinced in her heart that the whole world is dead and telling someone that has no idea what Spring is that Spring will bring back the leaves will not help at all. Marrying a Filipina lady just might be the best thing you will do in your life. Especially if you like rice.

[@drleo6409]

To put it simply their conversation is very generalized . I have noticed that he’s and She’s also. For example, his husband took her to the restaurant, and he told him that she would never go back again. . This is a true story . My wife asked me “honey do you want to go out to eat with those people? I ask what people? She says don’t you remember.? I said remember who? She said those people we met! what people did we meet? at the store remember? When was that? a few months ago? Oh yeah, where do they want to eat? The place we went to over there. I said Oh sure that sounds really good!!

[@TheOriginalRick]

@@drleo6409 I often compare being in a conversation with Mrs. Rick to wandering unknowingly into the middle of an Abbott and Costello routine.

[@ArleneLIWS]

These are too accurate, Rick! 😁 I’m still not good with pronouns with my spoken English. And yes my best friend around the house (besides my husband) is my step ladder.

I’m a Filipina and married to an American. I agreed on most things above specifically the she/he, my hubby usually complains about it😂😂😂😂. The rice? No, I seldom eat rice actually.

[@paparedpill1036]

LOL Great video , spot on for the most part . When I took my wife to a resort it was her and the whole family :) mom, dad, ,brothers, sisters, aunt, uncle, cousin I think it was 12 in all . We had a great time and I did it all for the price of a steak dinner for 2 here in the states .Been married for 8 yrs and she is the biggest blessing in my life .God is good !!!!!

[@GeorgeWallace-l1s]

wuss

[@GregoryBoyce-w3i]

My flipino is 39 and she is very good working to support her sons . I admire her

[@DrDlane]

Thank you for your thoughtful insight. It's always good to get different perspectives.

[@ericfreeman5399]

I find your sincerity quite authentic and genuine. Something that has been lost with the western world. Your femininity also is rather pleasant and soft. A trait also lost in the west. Your information is relevant when considering betrothing a Filipina. I’m sure your husband is quite pleased in his choice which is something all men desire. Be Blessed and enjoy your happiness the Almighty is provided to be received. Much Respect to you and your household.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Aww!! Thank you, Eric! I really appreciate your kind words and well wishes. I wish the same for you and your household! 🙏❤️

[@davidtesler1198]

No two Filipinas are the same. I think supporting parents at home is o.k but sending money so loser brothers that sit and drink I would say no way. I think $150 a month is more then enough for Filipino parents or that was probably the reason for marriage and that is evil. I think that marrying a man in USA just to support your parents is selling your soul or cultural prostitution. Good video and accurate for most Filipinas. When men give a Filipina a chance at a good life that no Filipino man could ever give it is the wife's duty to earn points of appreciation. Just my opinions.

[@jaysolomon523]

I am going to get married to the most amazing Filipino girl. Luckily I love Whole Foods and nothing smells disgusting to me. I love everything she cooks. I am patient with her and want to do a good job. I look forward to hearing from you because I found that this video is probably the most honest truth and sweet video on KZbin that I’ve ever seen

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you so much for your kind words! Appreciate it a lot. I’m happy for the both of you that you have found each other. May your marriage be filled with heavenly blessings. The first year will probably be rough financially especially the processing of the work permit is longer than the usual. But once both of you are working, you guys can tackle your goals faster.

[@mikecaesar8293]

Please let her cook for you dried fish 😎 and you must try balut!!

[@TheWalkMinistry]

Geez Balut I can’t do it lol

[@AnitaDiaz_JazzSinger]

Hope you have sense enough to get an ironclad prenup and keep your own separate bank account.

[@roystonseecharran7601]

You are very well spoken. I've worked with a lot of Philipinos over the years. Some still have that very deep accent. I think you've adapted very well to life in the USA.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you! 😊 I always seek to improve my accent so people (esp at work) will not have a hard time understanding what I’m saying.

[@stevenundzid4765]

You can cook easy on an outside grill, I've been to the Philippines and even there most will cook it outside Lol Nice video and best wishes on your new journey 😀

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you, Steven! ❤️

[@journeytrials]

Thanks for this, my girl in Leyte. Hope to marry and bring her to the USA. These are things I worry about. Because I too growing up, lived around the world. From Ghana 🇬🇭 to England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 to Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦 to USA 🇺🇸 in the span of 16 years. I worry about her missing home but I too dwelt with it. But she too worked away from home. I need to connect her to Filipino community so the languages are familiar. Also I have lots of Filipino friends. She comes from a big family so it’s been so funny getting to know her brothers and sisters and parents. Over the years they been amazing! Definitely looking forward to our lives together.

[@kajuta240]

Congrats! Do your best to make sure she gets to spend as much time as possible with family in the months before she leaves and stress how important it is! No amount of time will be enough and I 100% assure you she will be incredibly sad and depressed within her first month of uniting with you over seas. Her family will be missed more than words can describe no matter what you do to fill the void. Eventually it passes, but for the first year my wife was often in tears because she missed her parents.

[@journeytrials]

@@kajuta240 thanks 🙏🏿 😊!! Yes I pray the move will be easy on her! We have a long road! Ahead! Especially that we haven’t been able to see eachother due to the pandemic. Now I have to wait because I’m graduating and money is tight. I start new job in august paying tons of money but then have to wait a little before going to see her. But I’ll remember all of this!!

[@kajuta240]

@@journeytrials If you have the ability to fund a special trip for her and one or both of her parents I would recommend that be planned. I sent my fiancé to Manilla with her mother and funded a mother/daughter day at the zoo, hotel, small shopping experience and meals for 2 days. I wanted her to have something to soften the blow of leaving everything behind and memories I felt was the best way to do this. It wasn't a bank breaking event, I think $300 was the pair of round trip plane tickets, hotel stay was like $170, shopping was like $50, zoo day was another $50 and food was something minimal as well. I think the whole trip was under $800 and they had an absolute grand time! Of course translate this any way you wish, it could just be a feast for her whole family with some lechon and ice cream for example. Make it some kind of celebration of memories they can cherish, it will help soften the blow of leaving everyone.

[@BisayangmamaTara]

Hahha on point kaayo ng high speed driving sa free way 😆 dili ghapon ko confident mag drive so I’m so proud of you sis. On point tanan imo ki say sis. Exactly don’t doubt your capability and yes you’re so blessed that your bana dear understands you. Love this sis! Well done 🥰

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you, sis Tara Y! 😊 nagtan-aw kos imong day-off video ba nakahunahuna pod ko maghimo ug inato nga style nga video da. Hehehe

[@BisayangmamaTara]

Hahah ok ra sis kay nice man mag document. Copy nya pud ko ani na idea ha sis? Kay para makaybaw pud sila sa akong cultural differences with a kiwi hubby

[@ArleneLIWS]

@@BisayangmamaTaralooking forward to this video, sis. for sure daghan interested to know about that. ako bisag i'm not married to a kiwi, interested ko to learn. knowledge is power!! :)

[@Corteese1980]

Thank you so much for providing this video!!!! I am interested in a positive and appreciative life partner. Americans are not, so I am looking at the Philippines. I want to make sure I provider her a good life, so she is happy to provide me a good life.

[@ArleneLIWS]

I wish you the best! 🙏

[@patrickmanley4943]

I was also upfront with my Filipina fiancé that I would not be supporting her family but rather supporting OUR family. Her and my children only. She does not have any children and also doesn’t have a large extended family. Her sisters both currently work as do their husbands. We teach independence , hard work and self reliance here in the States. My Filipina is very worldly and does not limit her tastes to eating mainly rice every day. There will definitely not be any cooking of fried fish in our house !!! Thankfully my Filipina has lived away from the Philippines and acquired western style of life. If my fiancé wishes to send money that she earns or eat rice whenever that’s fine but all Filipinas must realize that they are moving to a new country and new culture. The adjustment is mainly on them to acclimate to their new surroundings not the other way around.

[@roccohagedorn3110]

Thanks for sharing and giving helpful hints on what’s to come and what to expect. The only thing you haven’t mentioned is the amount you would find appropriate to give to your family. I understand that the overall income plays an important roll, but what would you say is a reasonable amount, or what is the minimum amount that’s somewhat “expected” by the family ?

[@ArleneLIWS]

Hi Rocco! I’m glad you found my video helpful. As for the amount, it’s really case to case. It could be your wife has other siblings who also help take care of their parents, so there might be no need to send money. In my case, my parents live rent free in my own house so I give them $200 a month for food and utilities.

[@roccohagedorn3110]

@@ArleneLIWS Since I know that the Philippines has no social security or any other form of safety, like a pension for instance, I definitely agree with some kind of payment to help the PARENTS. But what if the help goes overboard ? I’ve heard that some kids feel almost obligated to give more than they can afford. Where does it end, and how would you tell your wife and the family what the limit is without getting anyone upset ? Especially when it comes to third cousins. lol

[@kajuta240]

@@roccohagedorn3110 - But what if the help goes overboard? Count on it. Your best course is to nip it in the bud ahead of time by establishing clear dialog with wife/fiancé in advance or it will be a never ending flood of excuses why more is needed; this emergency or that will come up with absolute certainty. Tip: 100% bet on someone asking for a mile each time you give an inch. - I’ve heard that some kids feel almost obligated to give more than they can afford. Yes, the emotional blackmail is off the charts culturally, the main shaming tactic is 'paying back' for the upbringing. The kid didn't ask to be brought into the world, it should be the parents responsibility because they forced a soul into existence without a choice. 2 Corinthians 12:14 as its very clear on the topic. For a Catholic nation they sure disregard this key concept demonstrated all over the old and new testament. Yet somehow 18 years of buying extra food and a bit of cloths means your entitled to sit back and piss off for the next 40-60 years. It will happen with almost certainty so see the advice above and follow it. -Where does it end, and how would you tell your wife and the family what the limit is without getting anyone upset ? Who cares if they are upset, your the one earning so don't let anyone shame, guilt or bully you into making a choice. I mentioned this already, but seriously discuss this in advance and lay down the rules. It will still be tested, but you at least have the reference point conversation to fall back on. No matter how much or how little you establish...it will never be enough so go in expecting that and stick to your word as a man. Its the 'culture' is the standard excuse; think about the hubris of that statement....'my culture first and yours second'. - Especially when it comes to third cousins. You are seen as the rich foreigner and something to be milked shamelessly at all costs. Establish clearly your not there to be everyone's retirement program. I promise if you ask for money they will have every excuse why they cant, so don't be reluctant to use the same tactics.

[@roccohagedorn3110]

@@kajuta240 Thanks for the lengthy reply. Much appreciated ! I think, asking them for money, just to see what kind of excuses they come up with, is a good tactic to learn from. In the end I really don’t blame anyone for trying to get money out of the “rich” westerner, but as I said: everyone has his limits and I was hoping there is a magical word I could use to make them understand, without getting upset, that funds and fundings have limits.

[@kajuta240]

@@roccohagedorn3110 NP. Living beyond means is a way of life over there, saving for a rainy day just doesn't exist for the overwhelming majority. The fiesta mentality is a cancer that impoverishes the nation. Everyone wants to flaunt and brag wealth, if your rich you get respected and if your poor your mocked behind your back. Keeping up an illusion of wealth is an astonishingly powerful grip, far beyond actually saving up to such status. Ex: Cook a large meal for your immediate family (birthday/wedding) and somehow the whole neighborhood manages to come up with an excuse to come say hi, so you better not embarrass yourself by not having enough (hence buy 2 pigs when you can hardly afford 1). Any other day they couldn't give a piss how your doing except to gossip about it. Its just the way it is, you cant change it. P.S. I was meaning it figuratively about asking for money from them. My point was you already know the answer you would get.

[@stephenhannancode1]

Very true and accurate. Getting over the different cultural norms is the hardest thing .

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thanks for your feedback!

[@gibraltarchan9750]

TO UNDERSTAND.ACCEPT.& ADAPT SOME OF THE BETTER PART OF ANY COUNTRY'S CULTURE....NOT ONLY BRIDGE RELATIONSHIP, BUT CAN...........ONE DAY GIVE THIS WORLD PEACE................THINK, IF A COUPLE CANNOT BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN THEMSELVES.......WHAT CHANCE FOR ISREAL & PALESTINE???????

[@HiPlayerProdigy]

Good information. It seems like there will always be some cultural issues to dating each other but that's fine as long as she understands to work with you.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Very true!

[@talltree4252]

It's not a problem to support others close to you so long as you prioritise your needs first not there's.

[@DrscammerRacingrush2]

You ladies are cuddling and loving can't wait

[@RiskyRich_Gaming]

Lots of Filipina women are diabetic. Probably because of too much rice. Adjust if you want to live longer.

[@lilyjazel7764]

True, and what advice would you give to a man who ‘settled’ with an ugly Filipina with crooked and buck teeth who is financially destitute? He is desperate and lonely .

[@nelsonevershed]

Awesome advice ☀

[@HemiChrysler]

Finally, someone that understands that _marry_ is a verb, and should be used as such.

[@michaeld1398]

Thank you for this video. I new most of these but not all and I havent heard anyone discuss these in one video. Again thank you.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Happy to hear your feedback, Michael! And you are most welcome! ❤️

[@robertjones8627]

I arrived in the Philippines in May of 2017 and we married in December 2017 and going good. I'm in Nagros Oriental.

[@highwaymanpp05]

I've already found several phillipene stores in my area,I will get a rice cooker before she arrives thanks. I've met all her family and friends when I was in San Fernando in April and everyone made me feel at home and part of the family

[@ArleneLIWS]

That’s so sweet of you! I wish you and your Filipina a blissful union.

[@noutheticcounseling5447]

Nice to hear you live near Tacoma. I live in the area. I met my fiancee through CF by BTW. She is in the province of Cebu. Im hoping to bring her home in the next few months. I've been trying to prepare for her coming here. The rice cooker is a good suggestion. Thank you for the tips.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Exciting!!! And perfect timing too. She’s coming to WA when it’s warm and beautiful everywhere. She would love it here!!! I wonder if your Filipina is from Northern Cebu like me. 😊

[@noutheticcounseling5447]

@@ArleneLIWS Compostela! I wonder if you and your husband would agree to help me with Cebuano/Bisayan. I would pay you. Ive been searching for someone for a couple years and found those willing only speak Tagalog. Currently I'm out on medical leave recovering from knee replacement surgery. So this would be a great time.

[@Electrichead64]

I can't imagine why any man would want anyone other than a good Filipina.

[@katrinamanibo3165]

Thankyou for sharing po🥰

[@7411159]

Fantastic advice. Definitely will be pursuing a Filipino relationship…

[@ArleneLIWS]

Happy to be of help! Wish you the best!

[@agostonbenedek1898]

Giving monthly financial support to healthy, able bodied family members is wrong because it makes them lazy by relying on you instead on themselves! Your number 1 priority is your own family and NOT your siblings. Only exception would be disabled parents!

[@timhusk2913]

My Pina likes to give to others and I had to explain it family first then the family and friends are next if we can

[@nickussher4499]

It’s wrong because the stress it puts on women. Not only are they in a foreign country by no choice earning to support their family and watching their children grow up on FaceTime but siblings are constantly barraging her for more money as well.😢

[@AlanAwesomeness]

@agostonbenedek1898 100% true for able-bodied people. It's not even loving to enable people with dependency and have no abilities to support themselves, should something happen to you. I don't expect my 70 year-old MIL to develop new habits, but there are others that have every opportunity and support for them would be on a case by case situational basis, not perpetual welfare. I realize it is hard, and there are not as many opportunities, but it is past time for people to rally and demand higher wages, discrimination protection, etc.

[@realisticclearmind3531]

Correct

[@DavidBelongia]

I have been to the Philippines. It is much different than here. There is almost no industry, they don't have stores like Walmart CVS or all these other stores chains. They have all these little family stores and they don't hire people. There is very little for jobs and they pay very little. They have very little, it doesn't take much to help an entire family. I guess if you can live in the lap of luxury here in the USA and don't mind your in laws living in abject poverty then don't help them. But it is not like the USA, people aren't working there because there are no jobs, not like here where they just choose not to work.

[@DogWalkerBill]

There is some writer, maybe Mark Twain, who wrote, "Culture is learning to love your Mother's cooking."

[@Dan-rg6vr]

Really liked these insights you shared..so true too. Have a good Christmas

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thanks and you too! 😊🎄❄️

[@edwardfong5481]

Thank you for the great tips. Priceless !

[@ArleneLIWS]

Appreciate your feedback! ❤️

[@granthudson5447]

Im supporting my Filipina girlfriend two months now. We grown to love each other through our friendship. She reached out to me in hardtimes, made me happy for who iam because she so positive even in her hardtime she happy and positive. I watch these videos and continue learning more about Philippines because i plan on visiting her and her family

[@granthudson5447]

About the Filipino communities that's correct. I plan on connecting her with Filipino community when I bring her to Canada

[@kajuta240]

Wow...two whole months and already reaching out to you in 'hard times'. Yeah, your the one who will cry one day about how you were taken advantage of. Prove me wrong and cut off the funds. See if she is still calling after you turn off the faucet.

[@quinto190]

This is a very reasonable list... and great video!

[@ArleneLIWS]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@wayneharris4595]

That advice you gave was so needed, thank you so much

[@ArleneLIWS]

I’m glad you find this video helpful! Thank you also for watching!

[@scottbrown321]

Great job. Spot on! Keep it up!

[@kayemendi4501]

As a black woman, I can say I adore Filipina women!! I can also say everything this Filipina woman said it TRUE with the exception of the food smells. Filipino food is absolutely AMAZING and smells so yummy!! I have one Filipina friend that is married to an American man and she is so well taken care of and adores her American husband. Well, he’s a really great guy, so it would be strange if she didn’t adore him.

[@namkebanyanklariti]

I wish you had left out that last sentence. It's a modern woman world view of men which is killing relationships in our community in America.

[@kayemendi4501]

@@namkebanyanklariti Some people take the “modern woman” thing way too far. I can assure you, if a man is terrible to his wife, she is NOT going to adore him. At best, she may tolerate him if she depends on him financially. What is it with modern men an their their need to be awful to mediocre husbands?!

[@namkebanyanklariti]

@@kayemendi4501 you have certainly seen how Pinays are you their husbands including Passport Bros. Why can't our women be like them so there would be no need for PB?

[@kayemendi4501]

@@namkebanyanklariti Sir, I know Filipinos in real life. Yes, all of the women are good to their men because all of the men are good to their women. Not a single one of them has a bad husband. The basic rule of thumb is treat others the way you want to be treated. I’m sorry American women don’t want to take your terrible treatment. You shouldn’t expect anyone to deal with you being a terrible person.

[@namkebanyanklariti]

@@kayemendi4501 all of the men are not good to the women. You should go there more and you will see lots of single mothers with family helping to care for the child while the man moved on. This is why the women are embracing more foreign men because they say we are more stable care for them more and allow them to be the gems they are contrary to the local men. So u see u don't have a clue.

[@chrissaberonio913]

Very great contents bai!!!

[@DrscammerRacingrush2]

I'm a responsible man and respectful

[@chengdutwo]

Givers have to set limits because takers never do.

[@kajuta240]

Word. The moment you yield 1 peso word spreads and the flood never ends.

[@drleo6409]

Absolutely true and Filipinos don’t think anything about asking for more and more and more. When I visited the Philippines last time I asked my brother-in-law what kind of work did he do? He said work I don’t work my wife has a job. Of course they barely had enough to survive on, I said, if he worked in a month how much would you make he said $100 or so. I was going to give him $100 but since he didn’t need the money by working I saw no need to give it to him.

[@kajuta240]

@@drleo6409 IDK why but there is somehow no shame for the family to send one person out to work while everyone else loaf's around the nipa hut all day. Don't reward this shameful behavior by being the support for your wife or girlfriend's lazy family. You just reduce her to being their whore. Your not responsible for their decisions, only yourself and your own immediate dependants.

[@cintawisatakuliner7511]

thanks for sharing,nice video

[@glennbeentjes5332]

Thank you Arlene, I found your tips helpful

[@ArleneLIWS]

You are most welcome, Glen! Happy to be of help. Let me know if you have any video request/suggestions.

[@feliksbatara]

Thanks for nice sharing

[@delilahvaldez3640]

True ❤❤❤

[@johnthomas5806]

complete truth, glad it is not hidden from the husband...

[@lowtech67]

Lots of good information! Thank you.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thanks for watching! I’m glad to know you find this video valuable. ♥️

[@lifeinnorthcarolina4770]

Hello 👋 host I am watching from Greensboro North Carolina as your new subscriber 👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@chaugg1]

Really good advices 👍 Thank you for the video

[@ArleneLIWS]

I’m glad you find this video helpful. Thank you also for watching and for commenting.

[@Louie_777]

Thank you. Very informative

[@suntemple3121]

Thank you you did a very good job at explaining the difference between the cultures all the best blessings to you.🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you! ❤️

[@suntemple3121]

@@ArleneLIWS 🌟💚🌟

[@freddiellanos7478]

She works she can support her family. Not the husband, that's her responsibility.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Yes! And we agreed on this even before we get into bf/gf relationship.

[@43JohnDeere]

Sounds like the Filipino extended family and friend lifestyle is amazing....I would embrace it.

[@ArleneLIWS]

That’s so nice of you!

[@craigalcock6868]

Thankyou great job love you

[@ikejackson8676]

Thank you for that knowledge

[@ArleneLIWS]

I’m glad you found my inputs valuable! Thanks also for leaving a comment! ☺️

[@aldroid4844]

Rice 🍚 every meal is not healthy, period. Thanks for a great video some very important points

[@jonanamar8503]

Welcome to the USA sweet girl. My wife is Filipina also 👍

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you! Regards to your wife! 😊

[@ashleylee2917]

I've been looking for me in for a Filipino woman's long time now need one 😮😂😊

[@ArleneLIWS]

Best of luck! Hope you’ll find her soon.

[@ashleylee2917]

@@ArleneLIWS are you a Liv stream here on KZbin

[@ArleneLIWS]

I go LIVE sometimes. Do you want to join me on my next Livestream? Please shoot me a message at [e-mail].

[@spudgn]

Salamat Ate. Give our best to our Kuya.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Walang anuman! ❤️

[@zwc76]

Number 8 conflicts too much with jealousy. There's no way she would bring any potential competition to the home!

[@ArleneLIWS]

Awww! Love the second statement! ❤️

[@scottbrown321]

Sad when after you give so much, and finally you have to put a limit, sometimes the family or friends get angry. Then all you did for them in the past seems forgotten. I am guessing best to set a budget and let them be responsible for what to do with it. What is your thoughts?

[@kajuta240]

Let them be angry, you worked for it...they didn't; its not their money, its yours. Never let anyone try to guilt or shame you into lining their coffers with something you earned by your own merit. If you want to give a budget monthly it should be something your willing to do, not something you are pressured under duress to do.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Yes, setting a budget would be the best way to do it. And your wife also has to communicate to her family that you should not be obliged to provide for them. Every time I send money to my family I always emphasize to them that I am sending the money because we have extra (even though we already set a aside a budget for my parents). I always want them to understand that they have to be responsible with their money; that they can’t just blow it away in however they want then come back running to me for more. I always emphasize to them we are also working on a budget so they should as well.

[@MarvinAndChrizInCanada]

Thank you for the great contents Bai!

[@mikecaesar8293]

All what you said is 100% true 🤣 , i dont let her work anymore, amd im fine with supporting her family , never saw her homesick because met her in my country so she was already used for being away, as for shopping, it annoys me sometimes but i get shocked she is a better shopper than me haha picking up best prices, Filipino food is tasty soooo tasty specially the macaroni salad 😋 but i hate the smell of tuyoo dried fish. In speed shes always scared and calls me kaskasero if i speed haha. For meeting up with other Filipinos i let her do what she like, she choose her friends carefully keeping away the (tsismosa)🤣 you forgot to mention sending boxes every while haha, i love doing that , we go shopping and choosing cloth, groceries and other stuff to send by a jumbo box shipment. The thing that made me love her was her simplicity not like the local women here over demanding . For those who say Tampo tampo is annoying yes its a real pain. I just start sleeping in saloon, talk to her only when necessary, then magic happens . The nice thing once you have kids, life changes.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Totally agree with everything you said! I enjoyed reading your comment. Thanks for making the time! Ingat palagi!

[@artbunker]

Thanks for giving us truth. Appreciate it.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Absolutely! Thanks for watching and for taking the time to comment. Helps my channel. :)

[@ninodenizreyes2076]

Your husband is a blessed man

[@ArleneLIWS]

He knows and he said Thank You! 😊

[@jaysolomon523]

Thanks!

[@ArleneLIWS]

Appreciate the Super Thanks, Jay! God bless you more!

[@jimgilbert9984]

Food that smells bad to me. 😆 When I took in my grandmother (after my mother passed), she liked to cook stuff like fried cabbage. And the way she cooked it wasn't just standing at the stove for a half-hour or hour. It was an all day event. So I'd come home from work and the smell would be in every corner of the house. She cooked other strong smelling stuff, too. That was all okay, though. My mom was a big fan of trying out a lot of foods from other cultures, so I grew up smelling (and eating) some smelly stuff. This included stuff made with shrimp paste (I haven't tried dried fish, but I love anything fish, even if it has a strong fishy smell). A simple country girl. I'm a simple country boy. I don't go out to bars or clubs, dances, etc. I'm boring. I like to stay home and read, watch TV, write, cook, etc. I'm not exciting.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Wish you find a good clean woman, Jim!

[@jimgilbert9984]

@@ArleneLIWS Thanks!

[@IntentionalMom]

I can relate sis. Haha, rice, rice, rice breakfast, lunch and dinner....dried fish, yummy!

[@IvanIvanov-vy7pt]

That's one reason I learned cooking different dishes. That way I don't have to eat thd same food every day. When I would cook us a western meal my late wife would just Love it and praise me with every bite she would take at dinner and later showed me her appreciation in bed!!!🥰 I miss her and also miss cooking together with her!

[@JoeSteffe]

We married for 10 yrs now . Ask any question u like or want . We also dated for 4 years . Yes Ely 2 Bachelor degrees and cant find job in her Degrees . But she works 60 hours every week as a Clerk . But she can drive very well now for 5 yrs now . Rice is life . Filipino is every taste great . But Dryed fish really smells bad . I dont stop her from doing anythink at all. We were is her home for 28 days days last June. Face book helps alot to chat and see them . We live in Florida . She loves A/C and hot water showers . Washing machines and Dryer . Dishwasher . .

[@globomanni8407]

Homesick - not necessarily. My Filipina wife was working abroad for 15 years. Because of this she is not homesick. I think that's also important for widen one's perspective. But every 2 years we fly to the Phils, so that she can see her family

[@ArleneLIWS]

That’s so nice! I wish I can fly to the Ph every 2 yrs :)

[@edwinkirkland8856]

I cannot wait to get mattied married to my fiance

[@TDE1593]

Bringing the average Filipina to the US is a death wish for most marriages. I watched a friend be ruined by one and her new friends at her job he got her at the local dry cleaning shop.

[@kajuta240]

4 of 5 divorce in the US is initiated by the female. The courts are gynocentric and favor women with cash and prizes. Very sorry for your friend, the lesson here is: people should expect sending their wife to work a low income job for a few extra bucks isn't worth the company she will keep in such an environment. Nail and Hair salons are also going to fester that type of environment. Any job that has tons of idle time for gossip will only spawn trouble (this is not absolute as you will see if you keep reading). That sucks for your friend, but this is where effective communication could have very likely averted problems. I'm speaking from experience. The same nonsense that was attempted on me in a white collar environment and supposed professionals of all places... My wife had a nosy Boss that would constantly try to coerce her by trash talking me, sniping comments on how she never does this or that at home ect and how my wife shouldn't have to do such and such. Fortunately I had already warned my wife in to be ready to observe such behaviors and measure easy to spot tactics of trying to tear down someone else's marriage. People like that cant be confronted or changed, they will just gaslight; wife just kept her mouth shut and wouldn't add fuel to the situation. There were many other problems from this unprofessional manager (I wont list) that added up to a miserable experience for my wife; literally she would come home in tears some days. At any rate, I told my wife to tolerate the job and on her 1 year anniversary start hunting for one that SHE wanted. After a few weeks of cherry picking only select positions she started interviewing and within the month had landed 2x the salary while working 100% from home with me. Now we don't have to deal with someone spreading their cancer into our family.

[@apb38]

Never bring them back to the U.S.

[@meralynparisvlogs7328]

I enjoyed listening here sis.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thanks, sis!

[@porky52]

Honey looks like your husband got him a jewel.

[@ArleneLIWS]

This is the most beautiful thing I read today. Thank you, John! ❤️

[@matthewswitzner1046]

I would say if you are becoming a husband or already are i would ditch the video game and get an adult hobby.. but thats just me..

[@kajuta240]

What is your adult hobby?

[@matthewswitzner1046]

@@kajuta240 working to make enough money to build my own house..

[@stunrichardson4633]

People play cards gamblers lose a lot of money!!!!! Ive play video games for years the only thing i lost is the money i used to pay for the game!!!!! Ps adult so called people make kids then leave them ok!!!!!! People who live in glass houses should not throw no stones!!!!!!

[@kajuta240]

@@stunrichardson4633 Agreed, nothing wrong with gaming. I game and have a nice collection including my own arcade and retro haven. Doesn't detract from me being a husband and father, nor my enjoyment of other hobbies including: Warhammer 40k, Gunpla, Saltwater Reef keeping, Mycology, Dirtbike/ATV riding, Camping, Hunting, Hiking, Travel, Epoxy resin pouring and Woodworking to name a few. I enjoy listening to a wide variety of scholarly lectures while I do any of the above. Video games did not stop me from owning a custom built 3500sf home w/1100sf 6 car garage; nor did it impede me from establishing a professional grade career.

[@patricklong8884]

Hi, my name is Todd, I loved your video. I am in the beginning stages of building a relationship with a Filipino woman. We connected on a dating site. We have been talking for about seven or eight months now. I find her very intriguing to talk to. We are finding we are having feelings for each other. I am planning a trip over to see her next February if everything works out. I was married for thirty years. She did ask me what happened, and I explained it to her. She was highly impressed with my commitment to my marriage. We find we have a lot in common, especially when it comes to cooking. I do find she is questionable about her ability to come to the United States if things work out for us. Is there any website you could recommend. Maybe to help us to understand more of the process for getting past or help us with any future problems? Thanks for any assistance you could provide.

[@ArleneLIWS]

Hey Todd! Thanks for watching and for the comment. I hope everything will work out for you and your Filipina gf. Here’s where you’ll find all the information about fiancé visa www.uscis.gov/i-129f. Everything you want to know is in here. And I’m just a comment away if you have further questions. Cheers!

[@Naps56]

Classical Transactional Marriage.

[@ArleneLIWS]

A common red pill/mgtow talking point; one I’m not really relating to this video from what I can see. I’m open to hearing others ideas, so please elaborate further.

[@Naps56]

@@ArleneLIWS whats the difference between 'dating', 'relationahip' and 'marriage' in the case of young filipinas looking for (usually older) western males?

[@michaeltrent2726]

I was lucky in that my wife worked overseas many years to a support and enrich her family only to (after 8 years) see everything was squandered l. Even the 3 siblings she paid for university had pocketed the cash and did nothing. Of course, it was supposed to be her turn and they were to pay her university fees. We are still a tight family but they know better than to ever ask her for money l. She slaved in qatar 20 hours a day for NOTHING

[@kajuta240]

Family and Siblings mistreating the funds for something other than what was begged and pleaded for. Standard practice, unfortunately this is the norm and not the exception. This is why welfare in all forms is bad, poor people are poor for a reason...they make stupid short term gratification choices for self indulgences. I know because I used to be poor and was myself surrounded by other poor people. Don't pity them, they are poor for a reason. Its why God said you don't work you don't eat.

[@chrisneehler2287]

Thank yiu. Very well done

[@ArleneLIWS]

I’m glad you liked my video. Thank you for watching and for leaving a comment!

[@lindseysummers5351]

You left out some fun items. Such as, "Marry the Girl, Marry the Whole Family." If your Filipino spouse's family lives in your country, especially if they are near you, expect to see them often. Or, expect them to call your family over to their house, maybe even every weekend and holiday. And if y'all have kids, expect your in-laws to take the lead in things like planning birthday parties, graduations, etc. And you may see them come over at unexpected or inopportune times. It's not assured to happen, but these behaviors are not exactly uncommon. Some Filipino parents see their children's homes as extensions of their own homes. On the upside, if ever your family needs something, they are THERE. Ah, trying to get Filipinos to adjust to driving in Western countries, especially the US!! My FIL has been in the States since the 1960's and he still refuses to drive if there is another licensed driver in the car. Even going on 60 years later. He told me we're just downright scary on the roads. I can't argue the point. Filipinos definitely do love some get-togethers. To some, the amount of food served is just plain overkill. Don't stress, because it also means you might not have to cook or make lunch for the next week. Word to the wise: Like the lady said, there may be some foods prepared that you would find downright nasty. At least try a sample of the cuisine if it's new to you. You might find some new favorites. If you don't like something, that's okay. If you do like something, don't ask what's in it, because you might not like the answer. You're sure to find some foods you've seen or even tried in a few Chinese buffets, like pancit, adobo, and spring rolls/lumpia. If you come across some bagoong, baloot, diniguan, puto, or any others, at least give them a try. If you don't care for them, be polite and not insulting. And...grocery shopping. We could always tell which families were going back home soon by what they purchased. Whenever you saw bulk orders of ketchup, yellow mustard, Spam, Deviled ham, and I think sardines, you knew who was going back to the PI. Did I miss any popular items?

[@ArleneLIWS]

I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for your inputs!

[@lindseysummers5351]

@@ArleneLIWS Thank YOU for your wonderful videos. Keep up the good work!!

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you! Let me know if you have any video requests/suggestions! 😊

[@lindseysummers5351]

@Arlene LiWS I think having kids with a Filipina and the different expectations Filipino and American grandparents can have would be a great choice. What do you think?

[@ArleneLIWS]

Oh yes, this is a good one. Thank you!

[@quackersna]

You say she will still be supporting her family, but what you should have said is that she will expect you to be supporting her family, and since you are foreign they will expect you to support to a greater degree than they have ever experienced. Jealousy was my issue. I remember riding in a taxi once and she was holding her little finger up muttering under her breath itchb staring at my man. That should have been a sign. I eventually broke things off with her because I got sick to death of her thinking I was cheating on her.

[@imazooo]

Thank u for sharing this sis...sabi rin ng friend bahong baho sila sa amoy ng daing hehe

[@IvanIvanov-vy7pt]

Those women need to learn how to moan with their mouth closed!😁

[@JLALALALA]

Hi. I just watched this video and enjoyed it a lot. I’d add one. Many Filipinas answer when you ask where they want to go for dinner or something like that will be “you decide” or “I don’t know”. It’s just a cultural thing but even after years of marriage I still have to remember not to ask my wife that question in an open ended way or else I’ll get the dreaded answer. 😃 As for the sending money to help support her family. I never had a problem with it. Before we met, my wife worked her entire adult life as an OFW to send money home to raise her children and support family. If people knew how hard a life OFWs have and how far the dollar goes in the Philippines maybe some of the people commenting wouldn’t be so quick to begrudge some financial support. A few hundred dollars a month isn’t going to break our finances but it means a huge amount there, even when the adult children are working. Sorry for the rant. 😢

[@ArleneLIWS]

I’m guilty of the “I don’t know” and the “You Decide”. 😁😂 This goes for places to visit too. This is a good point. I’ll share this in my livestream this coming Friday. 😁 Thanks for the inputs, JLA!

[@rogershapiro]

As long as her relatives are not leeching off both of you or, spending your money on alcohol, gambling, or Western material goods.

[@HabibPharmacy]

Beautiful 🥰❤️💞💕

[@dankriewald4764]

Well Done Thank You

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you! ❤️

[@DrscammerRacingrush2]

You phillipina are cute and adorable

[@gerliecorrea5807]

very insightful. ❤️

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thanks, Gerl! 😚

[@trailguy]

The thing to do at the grocery store is to explain that it will cost, say, $250 to buy enough food to make the cart half to three quarters full. Once she realizes that, it will be less traumatic to throw stuff in the cart.

[@gordonsteuart8620]

After marriage, just expect her to become the damn house lord and the BOSS!!!...LOL.....Trust me!! LOL!!!

[@buybuddy3288]

Spot the beta gimp..... 🤣🤓

[@ArleneLIWS]

Not always the case! You just married a low quality woman and that’s on you too for not vetting properly.

[@gordonsteuart8620]

@@ArleneLIWS Low quality has been married 27 years, made a good home, and family---and living large!!! How are you doing?🤣🤣😂😂 I can ask her to give you lessons on being a good wife!! All you have to do is say "please". I will be glad to hook you up! 🤣🤣😂😂

[@christopherrobert8897]

Lol I am in Tacoma too. Great video!

[@ArleneLIWS]

Thank you!

[@samsunghanfil828]

No problem if ur workingu can use ur money

[@ArleneLIWS]

That’s right!

[@paulmartin8325]

Good video but my advice would not bring your bride back to the west if there is a big age gap, as soon as mine got her British passport she was gone with the wind, keep them in Philippines and go live over there……

[@ArleneLIWS]

I have a friend with over 30 years age gap with her Australian husband and they now live happily in Australia with their 4kids. So I would say, you just married a shallow person. I’m sorry!

[@elliottschertzer876]

@@ArleneLIWS I agree with you we have 29 age difference and we were married here in the United States 12 days after she arrived we are going on more than 7 years being married. We are still much in love and devoted to each other.

[@coreyg6660]

I enjoyed your video! Can you explain when a pinay says she is 'Shy' what does she really mean? 🤔

[@ArleneLIWS]

It could mean she’s not the kind of person that initiates conversation or someone who’s not comfortable of expressing her own thoughts & opinions or even expressing what she really wants in the fear of rejection. She might not be comfortable with some aspects of her looks or her own beauty that she tends to stay away from spotlight. There’s different types of ‘Shy’ which really boils down to the different reasons why she became ‘Shy’. If you want to help her overcome her shyness, try to help her express in words why she considers herself shy. I hope you’ll help her get out of her shell.