What You Shouldn’t Do on a First Date - Aparna Nancherla

Aparna Nancherla recalls an absolute nightmare of a first date that began with a man belittling her career - and only got worse from there.
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[@susans654]

"Why are you saying this out loud to me?" I've thought that so many times.

[@BriarRouge]

Susan S YUP.

[@kaybee1025]

There's an internet for that ....lol

[@IrisAsuras]

This happens to professional writers. "Oh, I thought about being a writer. I'm so great at it, but I wanted to make money." Said to full-time writers/editors making money.

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

The Band of the Red Hand logic at work here.

[@humanbeing5918]

Jimmy is right. You can "make money" as a waiter, but that's not a stable career choice.

[@BlackJade685]

Handed in my PhD thesis a few weeks ago. A lot of people said to me, "yea I can relate, I too handed in a 'thesis' for my BSc degree" or somewhere along those lines.

[@WhisperTonic]

I have to laugh at the people in this comment section who don't think you can make money as a writer unless it's on a tv show or big publication. I'm a full-time writer and I'm about to pay for a house in cash in a big metropolitan area. I make more per hour than my engineer friends do. People are so naive to think that people only write for art -- there are lucrative writing jobs out there, you just have to be good at it.

[@kristopherryanwatson]

@@WhisperTonic true !

[@SuperKindachi]

Her voice sounded familiar and I realized that she voices Hollyhock on Bojack Horseman!

[@catlover8360]

oh my goodness!!! Great observation! I never noticed xD After seeing your comment Hollyhock's deadpan-ish sound finally makes sense

[@ilikechimchimnuggets290]

she sounds like the mom actress from home alone

[@khalicrawford9851]

Damn

[@tylerreed2409]

This makes me like her even more!

[@jasonyoung6420]

THANK YOU!

[@Hellswarmglow]

As an Indian woman who's been on plenty of first dates with "funny" Indian men, this is 100% accurate.

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

I’ll be back with my sitarist, amuse me with your tale.

[@dyan785]

I'm sorry

[@themaggattack]

As a human woman who's been on plenty of first dates with "funny" human men, I concur.

[@waynerembert3116]

So, it's common in the culture?

[@sailaab]

*+Wayne Rembert* don't know if the OP is an _Indian_ Indian or an ABCD wikipedia.org/wiki/American-Born_Confused_Desi so might have to refine the query later. if we look just at the urban Bharat wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhārat_Gaṇarājya aka the aspirational India with one leg in the "commoditified" and "rat race" boat of the west/ western culture.. people are ready to experiment or often "fit in". especially all the youngsters today. don't know though.. how much have gone past the superflous, casual mating (sex).. Tinder/facebook dating.. to actually being better (core value/merits) for their partners. also, the terrible disconnect with urban lifestyles, top educational and career opportunities for ladies/women .. sometimes also puts them under stress or dilemma. like conventional.. motherhood, wifehood, daughterinlaw hood or living for oneself or not having to give up on what.. for men is so natural (holding a job, having a career, progressing in it) thankfully not as common as breakups but loneliness, desperation to not loose out on love.. DOES make people loose rationale and thinking upright (which hopefully they might otherwise do) m.hindustantimes.com/mumbai-news/woman-creates-fake-profile-on-matrimony-site-cheats-mumbai-man-of-rs23-lakh/story-KHLj4zPWI8UGv31YM5A8tKp.html 😔 mumbaimirror.indiatimes.com/mumbai/crime/woman-duped-of-rs-14-lakh-on-matrimonial-site/articleshow/66422850.cms it is never easy for ANYone.. at ANY level www.cnbc.com/amp/2018/10/03/indra-nooyi-shares-a-work-regret-on-her-last-day-as-pepsico-ceo.html so yeah.. it may be .. to an extent common for people to try anything.. and everything.. in hopes of successful pair bonding. (snd in case of guys) even if it means inane buffoonery or trying to "act" out the desirable traits. though i personally think it must be pretty rare.. Indians.. and Indian women at that.. more often than not .. are VERY adept at sifting the wheat.. from the chaff. often.. in our family circle itself.. younger women.. even cousins often speal up of who may or mau not be "husband material".. like when they huddle up in counselling each other. most look at more than just financial security (which anyway they can themselves cover up.. like our domestic help is making ends meet by doing chores 12+ hours in 7-8 homes).. they look at other long term traits like nature, grit/merit.. future father and in general take the family background as a reference point.. for projection of how a boy from so and so upbringing might turn out N years from now. it would (in a insanely massive/ 1Billion+ population) be a small percentage of the clown acts.. men who think being unfunny funnyguy is a plus. maybe that fraction percent of 1 Billion could still be large. but then most of India (in heart/ spirit) lives in villages/rural areas.. and those are pretty "no nonsense" people. hardships of daily life, close family structures (responsibilities) force .. six sigma level .. margin of error. they try to be good and even if the same isn't fully reciprocated.. compromise is the name of the game here

[@aepet22]

she is the amount of awkwardness and intelligence that makes funny even funnier - love this set, the full thing is gold.. and love her!

[@krissifadwa]

"OH, I forgot to tell you! I'M FUNNY!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@wen6519]

LOL when your date is so bad your mind leaves your body

[@DBee-ee7tz]

"...so were are engaged" DED🤣🤣🤣

[@TeaLeafer99]

D. Bee are they really?

[@DBee-ee7tz]

@@TeaLeafer99 😂of course not, her close to that horrific date was brilliant.

[@dibaldgyfm9933]

​@@DBee-ee7tz :: YES you are the first comment I found mentioning that closeing. But I really wonder ... Wouldn't you deliver this "end of all jokes" in another way in order to make it slam harder? Like TeaLeafer99 I didNOT believe that I heard right, when she said that, and back again, listening, captions on, I was still mystified.

[@ceedubelu]

There’s an internet for these types of grievances. Right here.

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

C. W. Here goes: she’s an enemy of the empire.

[@THESLlCK]

Your Humblest Emperor Sidious bro are you everywhere

[@sacredgeometry]

Well she isnt funny.

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

sacredgeometry EXACTLY

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

H No yeah, that’s what I said.

[@Dogen70]

Her voice is so relaxing for some reason

[@jordanwait7264]

@but why Rude!!! :(

[@nitishsaxena1372]

@but why hahah

[@SimBol1216]

Maybe that's why Hollyhock was so charming on BoJack Horseman!

[@cf9844]

She has such a distinct voice it's hard not to picture a teenaged horse.

[@randomname1251]

Thanks, now I can’t I unhear it

[@sitcomenjoyer7950]

i can only hear hollyhock lol

[@SCSilk]

“Smile violated me!” I must remember that one.

[@JustHereForCats]

"Why. Are. You?!" He sounds awful

[@Kenup17]

Not even two seconds I was like "Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack"?!

[@crussteasock4047]

Wtf was that? Lol

[@LordFirekaze]

Yeah, I hate when I'm told to smile when I minding my own business

[@insanity4462]

I hate being told to mind my own business when I am smiling at people.

[@kabalofthebloodyspoon]

Amazing bit! Lots of good jokes on a subtle roller coaster 👏👏👏

[@bonafideslacker2626]

"..two monocles at the same time.." Awesome.

[@blupunk01]

Aparna is one of the best. Her set on Netflix's The Standups is one of the highlights of season 2, and she's great on Corporate.

[@isabelladeane4885]

I, too, have been smiolated. This is hilarious and very relatable!

[@joefernandez8008]

I just close my eyes and hear Hollyhock.

[@hlmuench4212]

Oh, good catch

[@Spleen2ween]

I was wondering why that voice was so familiar!

[@NephewDrew1102]

I seen the moon a couple times too😂😂🤣

[@TheJoanneirene]

The Titanic quote at the end was amazing !!!!!!

[@funkediscofreak]

"patriarchy overload" so real. So real.

[@jwil4905]

So not. So not.

[@Tubsidio]

Didnt made sense.... patriarchy make people act as jerks... but being a jerk doesnt make people related to patriarchy.... he was Just being a jerk. She really throw the random word there to garantee the support after the line was done

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Seems like you bothered a couple of people, Lowkeee LOL

[@eigobike3929]

Brilliant , she does the standup well. She could also write for tv, blogs or magazine media.

[@dyan785]

I really enjoyed this, and it's always fun to run across a smart comedian for smart people

[@madnessbydesign1415]

Aparna is always gold. She's one of my favorite comedians... :)

[@brownh2orat211]

@Lance Payne or funny.

[@CreamCobblerFiend]

There are many of them, just not on comedy central

[@crussteasock4047]

Its not all that smart. Ever heard a Mitch Hedberg joke?

[@realmccoy7632]

Most pretentious and out of touch comment I've read all day

[@annecaldwell2468]

That happens with historians. "Oh, I've read a history book. I can do what you have spent $100,000 and a decade of your life training to do professionally."

[@75hilmar]

The cockroach was a metaphor for tumbleweed

[@crussteasock4047]

w0w shEs s0 smArt n clEvEr

[@ViagensGringa]

Oh yeah, everyone is also a physical therapist. They ask for exercises and then argue w them!

[@BigSkippy1263]

Same thing with Personal trainers. My wife's friend would always ask me for workout plans she would never do. Same with diet advice.

[@luisalfaro1709]

She’s so clever. Enjoyed this a lot

[@ladylo-fi6979]

"Patriarchy Overload!" That rules.

[@lenasmith2549]

she's always brilliant

[@flyboyizzle]

Much funnier than I expected, and much funnier than I find Bojack, the show.

[@volneypowlis8527]

Flyboyx BoJack isn’t about humor, it’s about soul crushing depression and addiction

[@crtinde]

LOL!! Love Aparna ... she's hilarious!

[@PhantasmXD]

He didn't say "show bobs", I'm calling this story fake! 🤣🤣

[@zachklieman2141]

This. Bit. Is. Everything

[@andrewjohnson6716]

A person who is "in finance" is a sociopath? What a surprise.

[@75hilmar]

Now that you say it

[@ericmorken7099]

Grow up

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

@@ericmorken7099 sorry, sometimes reality hurts.

[@wakawakaabby4779]

He smilated me 😁

[@YancyBeats]

Not gonna lie I accidentally clicked on this video but I'm glad I stayed lmao shes pretty funny

[@gerald7148]

She is super cute and funny. I like her. I hope she goes far!

[@allison3872]

Big Big ❤ for anyone having a date today. Brings me memories of when I met the love of my life. I listened to some music before to take the edge off so you should too and listen to some like *Delta Parole* to relax and get ready. All the best from me xoxo

[@PoemsRunAground]

I love her she’s awesome on Corporate

[@raystaar]

In years to come, if that dude ever develops even an iota of self awareness, that evening will circle back and haunt him.

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

I doubt people like that become self aware though. Hard to when you don't even know you have a problem in the first place.

[@joeseward9466]

Love when she's on stop podcasting yourself.

[@draganaspasevska]

For real though, have had someone do that to me before and was super uncomfortable like wth are you touching my face!

[@madnessbydesign1415]

As a man, it has never occurred to me to do that. I would assume I'd pull back a stump where my hand used to be...

[@susans654]

@@madnessbydesign1415 Yes, I would be very tempted to bite, lol.

[@supersquare]

Love her!! Hope to see more of her comedy

[@xPTKx37]

At minute 5 I realized she's in Corporate and that's how I recognize her and like her

[@juliawilkinson]

Agh you were “smile assaulted,” lol.

[@zzzcocopepe]

I saw this one before but I forgot. It's so funny

[@themagicpancakes]

I hope she's in the second season of Mythic Quest more! She is hilarious

[@majordeezee1659]

You APARNA, ARE a National Treasure. I❤️U. Hoping you are healthy and abundant In Every Possible way.

[@AlbertWChang]

Ahh, I see, Arthur smile violated Bruce Wayne

[@moeezS]

Being smilated sounds excruciating!

[@dr.everythingb.alright303]

Now that I think about it, I used to say that to education majors all the time... " I thought about being a teacher. It just doesn't pay enough for me."

[@yumisoh9807]

*smile violated me* lol

[@oghuvwublessing705]

Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

[@devanshujha8121]

I thought those were time-stamps...but the video is 5 min long

[@THiSGuYJeFFeRY]

I like her stand ups. She is so cute.🥰

[@eazya5374]

Anybody here for her role as nephrite in Steven Universe or the Jade fusion

[@MsNightflavour]

she is so good

[@TYeung-ox5df]

4:26 Aparna does a great RBG!

[@zzzcocopepe]

Her clenched teeth when she said "what!?"

[@swade-ts8rr]

Aparna the person who picked this top , is on point !

[@Really_jellis]

I knew this joke would have to end like that cuz once she said “he said he was joking” I thought to myself that would actually have been kinda funny 😂

[@Really_jellis]

Also if you let someone physically put a smile on your face and you don’t slap them then you gotta love them😂

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

@@Really_jellis eeeeeeeh, I'm gonna disagree with you on that lol

[@kelleytucker6816]

I am a teacher and the same dating scenario happened to me!

[@viviansaravanan7531]

Well I searched for her by name because I think she's hilarious!

[@arrianetolentino6459]

2:33 for everyone who needs it

[@iyayaekita662]

where are the cc?

[@fahimzahir2085]

1:04 instant Aziz Ansari PTSD Flashback.

[@BrandonOsborn404]

I

[@rocarlosdavis622]

Ahh..she reminds me of my little sister..so adorable is she😍🙂

[@julicoole]

Hmmm..

[@maven1818]

Dates from hell make for Great stories......

[@thebabyrico9857]

Hilarious 😂😂

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

RomeoReed divulge your location immediately!! You are now under warrant from the empire for such absurd statements!!

[@THESLlCK]

RomeoReed I don’t think so. Mediocre.

[@ricecristi]

She’s hilarious 😂 ❤️

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

ricecristi yet another future exilee appears.

[@cm3753]

Agreed if you disagree she’s hilarious watch her other stuff also look up hilarious

[@butteredtoast8666]

Nancherla you're pretty funny more more more :)

[@toripierce6582]

someone give her a Netflix special

[@Fstop313]

Plot twist of the century

[@thislife7070]

I never met the guy she went out on a date but he seems like he could be a comedian.

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

ThisLife God no. Edit: as lousy as she is, I’d take her ANY day over that twit. First makes the worst sarcasm in history, then he puts his FINGERS in the MOUTH of a person he BARELY knows. I wish I had that level of confidence, the kind you could conquer a galaxy with.

[@youryella]

@@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152 you've never met him, correct?

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

Chris Evans no. Neither have you, but we can both make judgements regarding the comedic performance of that dolt. If his “joke” was entertaining to you, I suggest you acquire the phone number of a reputable counselor.

[@ooferrell]

@@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152 ladies and gentlemen we gave a male feminist!

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

Rob Ferrell HA! Hell no, kid. Hell. No. I just think that guy was even more horrendous than her. That doesn’t make me a male feminist. It makes me normal.

[@s0ngf0rx]

how ppl can be rude to aparna is beyond me

[@LittleLulubee]

Aww, she’s so sincere. And NOT obnoxious, like some other female comedians!

[@thebabyrico9857]

Her jokes are more for the intelligent crowd who are good at comprehension so that’s probably why a lot of people said it wasn’t funny 😇🤷🏽‍♂️

[@yourhumblestemperorsidious4152]

R/iamverysmart

[@thebabyrico9857]

Chris Evans I’m not... literally going off of what people have said and told me 😐

[@betoxoxo5636]

More like something she would gossip about to her girl friends type of jokes , not really smart.

[@thebabyrico9857]

BETO xoxo nah there are females who didn’t understand the jokes either 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@TheBiggerDavo]

I bet you understand rick and morty too. Must be nice being that smart.

[@joshmos]

I would love a date with Aparna

[@alainchristian]

Hollyhock!

[@BOREDOM6969]

Telling someone you're funny is actually awkward af

[@drawer982]

Music Lane just did the New Alphabet song.

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

Jesus what a bundle of joy she is

[@kikigood7567]

I started doing stand up a few years ago and every guy I have dated since then has said "oh I've thought about doing that too" and then sets up every conversation like it's leading to some great punchline. Ugh.

[@charlielloyd4099]

Call Bojack, Damn you.

[@DesertScorpionKSA]

I'm glad she said she was a comedian, otherwise I wouldn't have known.

[@makessense7095]

Writer comedians are funnier than regular comedians. Sharper.

[@adalovelace521]

lol the amazon joke

[@terminalogicalinexactitude5622]

He was like..and I was like..and he was like..and i was just like..so I'm like..and he goes..then I go and he's like.

[@sirnate9065]

Oh my god. This is the funniest stand-up I've seen in so long.

[@marek011011]

you should watch more stand up, because this is trash

[@TaylorMaurandbhangra]

Let’s add smiolation to the penal code and make it officially the crime that it is

[@Fatelvis2]

damn I thought forcing a smile was MY signature move

[@lestersanchez5534]

Oh she’s in space force

[@whispersignal1]

It's crazy how much she sounds like Ellen Rose Albertini Dow.

[@mjmaccabee7252]

Any man who tried to forcibly "smile" me would find his thumbs bitten off.

[@proplayer2010]

That seven minutes was harder to get through than the date she described.

[@RobertWF42]

She reminds me of an Indian Paula Poundstone. :-)

[@amandarobertson3772]

So is she actually engaged or is that part of the joke? I can’t tell with that one if it was or not.

[@mosespf]

wow this is the girl from the tinder episode of “master of none”

[@Greg-TC]

Hollyhock’s funny!