When Fe is annoying the Fi user...

[@Toni7926]

This is why you don't ask for emotions if the other person is uncomfortable with them, you observe them.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yes! Many Fe users don't ask at all, they are just seeking the data always.

[@ellier2018]

Your Fe acting is so accurate! The whole “well okay I guess we won’t be able to see you socks! No birthday or Christmas socks I guess! 😊😡” you nailed the Fe passive aggression

[@Draylock]

As an INFP, I kinda hate being asked "How are you?" Like, if you really want to know the answer to that question, let me lock myself in my room for 2 hours to figure that out 🤣

[@InternetLiJo]

Haha I feel the same way! I'm like ... you can't possibly care how I actually am because we are trying to great each other and I know neither of us have time for that. Same with "How was your weekend". Like... why does it matter.

[@irene404]

I am a ISTJ and I also agree. Every time people ask me how are you, I feel like I have to think hard to come up something to say or just say I am good even I am not because I don’t wanna explain more to them

[@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

I don't like the question, I never know what answer : _Lie and the high Fe user is happy (which is not possible I hate lying) _Say the truth, and ruins the high Fe user mood. (Thing I did many times, by saying the truth about how I feel, when I said I had anxiety). I find it ridiculous she was upset because I said I had anxiety (It only concerned me, not her) _Now I try to say a general truth : "like everyone : ups and downs, sometimes good, sometimes bad."

[@PhotoRubio]

(ISTP) I reply by staring directly at them and saying, "that's a loaded question". They laugh, I get left alone. PS: Unless I'm asked by a lead Fe EJ, then I've given them all they need to attack.

[@SeelenTaucher]

What would you suggest, If you Had Long distance Relationship?

[@khiroe]

Wow, I thought you were really talking to me 😆 I'm INFP and my mom is ESFJ. After learning typology I started to understand some of our conflicts, and actually started to understand my mom and how to deal with her better. She talks a lot, which doesn't bother me. The problem is when she asks what I think of some sensitive subject (like: "don't you think of having kids?"). I'm actually comfortable with sharing my point of view, what bothers me is because my Fi means that sometimes I don't have a popular opinion, and she gets shocked and starts to think of how to change my mind so I have a "more suitable" opinion. When I was younger I would just shut myself off or start an argument, but now I understand why her Fe makes her do what she does, and I started to Ne-show her all the facets of my ideas, and it's kinda useful to make her understand the complexity of Fi. Like, she doesn't get any of it, but she understands that it's something deep and respects that.

[@Toni7926]

Sounds wholesome. (: I think forcing anything onto others is what creates many conflicts. Just respect the person for what they like, feel and think and they will have an easier time opening up to you which will help you to understand them. It's not always about understanding others, sometimes it's just about accepting others for how they are.

[@InternetLiJo]

Ahh love this journey of growth within both of you.

[@justinb9612]

I relate to this so hard, having grown up around a lot of Fe at home.

[@julieolson1402]

INFP LMAO! Thanks.

[@justlovealways]

Lol as an Infj this was very helpful to see how we can be annoying sometimes. 😂 Thank you for helping me to understand Fi better. I genuinely care about how you're feeling and want to do anything possible to help you feel better or at least sympathize, but on the underhand I can understand when some people see that as too personal and none of my business...

[@AF-tv6uf]

INFJ too. This video is great too. kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6GXXqV7rbech9U

[@kindauncool]

So why do you do it in such a dishonest way if you genuinely care? Just do it how you'd want someone to do it to you.

[@rugma1696]

​@@kindauncoolThis. Golden rule

[@ashberry2852]

@@kindauncool it's just we can't. It's not easy for us.

[@idiotslife8508]

@kindauncool They can't. Infjs don't have fi so they don't work the same way fi users work. Dah

[@ninabrownsilberman7919]

The sock analogy has me rolling on the floor- so accurate and hilarious

[@rhapsodicalwildflowers1932]

I'm an INFP and I have three high Fe users in my immediate family (INFJ, ISFJ and ESTP), I'm the only one in my household who has Fi in my main function stack. They often ask me how I'm doing or feeling and then immediately disregard or stop listening when I start to explain how I'm doing or feeling in more than one word. They just expect an "okay", "good", "bad" or " not that great" not a proper/actual explanation. If they don't want to know how I'm doing or feeling then they shouldn't ask because the disregard that comes with it is hurtful. When I ask them how they're doing or feeling I genuinely want to know more if they are willing to tell me, whereas it seems as if they do it more as a social cue and then move on than out of genuine interest. I seriously despise it, just don't ask if you don't really want to know because I have to gather all that inner information and make it digestible for you-takes a lot of energy out of me. They wouldn't like it if I asked them and quickly tried to move on. I have spoken to them about this a few times and also listened to their perspectives, this is just how I think but I can understand how they think through their set of main functions. It's still heartbreaking when it happens though. Thanks for the video :)

[@rhapsodicalwildflowers1932]

I've also seen how my Fi can annoy Fe users, especially with my ENFJ friend, we are not close friends we just see each other every now and then and I feel very sorry about it but there is nothing that I can do about it in certain situations. I naturally can match the energy of a group of people or friends but there are days when I struggle to do that, either because of mental or physical health issues that rain on my parade. If I am not doing well mentally or physically but still attend an event with a group of friends including the ENFJ because i genuinelywant to be there and see everybody, I can struggle to find the energy to completely match the vibes of the group and I see the ENFJ trying to make sure that everyone is having a good time and then I get a side eye from them because I'm not expressing that I am having a good time. I will be enjoying myself and I will be happy to be there but I just will not show it or express it very well because of the issues from my mental or physical health still looming over me and I feel really bad about it and try too hard to show them that I'm having a good time to make them feel better and more at ease while I'm running my battery in the negatives already. I always try to make it clear to the ENFJ and even an INFJ that I am actually having a good time when I am, I'm just not doing well mentally or physically and won't be able to match the energy of the group at the moment but this can make the ENFJ worry even more sometimes when they don't really need to so it's a difficult situation. Again I understand why this happens and I'm learning and trying to figure out ways to be better, I understand the why the ENFJ does what they do and I understand why I do what I do but I need to fix this somehow...

[@margaritas-lm2kf]

Very clear analogy! I love it. Same reason why I don't extrovert my thinking... my thoughts are too precious & private to share with all and sundry!

[@InternetLiJo]

I love how people are seeing how this is synonomous with Ti to Te, great point

[@ryanquick1824]

by and large i agree with you margaritas. i mean about the sharing of thoughts which i feel by and large ARE private. though, DO KNOW that in a classic jungian sense to extrovert ones thinking most typically means to put into ACTION and to make real out in the world ones thoughts by way of what they DO. however, i DO also guess that speaking aloud IS an extroverted action. so, i guess that could possibly be considered a small corollary...

[@julieolson1402]

INFP here, with an ENFJ sister who was always irritating me as we were growing up. Your skit nailed it, as did your explanation!

[@rivkahreed]

I think the Fe/Ti person feels similarly when asked what they are thinking by a Te/Fi person. My thoughts are very personal. I do not want to show them to you unless it is in the context of Fe. If you start Te-ing my Ti, I’m like, “Is this abuse? Are you allowed to do this?”

[@InternetLiJo]

Yes this keeps coming up in discussion since I posted this and I love it! I am probably abusing people with my Te all the time😅

[@pugninja7037]

Totally agree, my Ti is my private thoughts,how dare anyone come banging at the door..

[@nateo200]

This is exactly how I feel as an INFJ.

[@heresyhunters]

I'm a MM Te/Ni, so I get realllly abusive w/ the Te, and at this point I can feel the discomfort of the Tis when I start Te-ing them. It's exactly like the feeling I have when an Fe starts with me. I feel like my Fi is too personal and complex to talk about, so let's just not. Same for the Tis (esp. demon Tis).

[@VeryTori]

I’m an XNFP (almost perfect split, lean ENFP usually), and it occurred to me I almost never phrase the question “how do you feel about this?” But I often ask “what do you think about this?” Or. “What are your thoughts on this?” I often see F and T as 2 sides of the same coin. How I approach thinking, someone approaches feeling, and vice versa. MBTI is so fascinating lol

[@globelights3346]

When Fe users are asking to "show your socks" they know (and expect the other person to know as well) that they are not asking this 'literally'! The question is not designed to gather knowledge, its designed for 'social gesturing'. The Fe user's Ti thought behind the sock question is that -> "asking about each other's socks passes as a kind of social gesturing, and social gesturing makes (Ti) sense" But Fi users receive the sock question with their Te, which makes them 'reason' it differently I suppose. I am guessing for Fi-Te users, if the person asking the sock question is someone they (Fi) like, then the question will make more (Te) sense and it might not bother them so much. Is this a reasonable guess?

[@henrique.campos]

To me it always makes sense once people actually explain what they will do with and want to from this data. I'm ENTJ so, reasoning is my preferred way to interact with people. So, instead of "Hey how are you?" in my mind it sounds like "Why do you care, let's skip to the point". But if people genuinely wants to know, for any reason, even if it's not a good reason, in the sense of benefiting me, I'll just give the honest answer: Fe user: "Hey, I saw you were looking kinda angry, it would be nice if you join us, so I want to know how you're feeling" Me:(in my mind) yeah it makes sense to reach out to me, I disengaged the gathering all of sudden, (reply) "No, I'm good, I just came out to smoke and get some fresh air" Or something as simple as: Fe user: "How are you doing? I just want to know I've been thinking about you" Me:(they've been thinking about me? Well, if that helps them stop thinking about me, then...) (reply)"I'm going through some bad times lately, but I'll get over it. I'll let you know if I need any help"

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah yes social gesturing is a real application of this analogy! The analogy is broad because there are a lot of use cases you could fit in here.

[@omermanjo7459]

If someone asks me how I am feeling, unless I don't wanna, I'll tell them the truth. Like, someone asked "how's your fast going?" And I was like, "bro...its just three fasting days. How can I make a result with this low data?"

[@DeezyRYG]

Thanks for explaining your perspective of Fe users in this way. I actively try to avoid coming off this way (or any way that can be alluded to as "pesky", especially by Fi users). I also realize that the way you describe your Fi is how I feel about my personal Ti opinions on things that I would rather not share unless I am very close to a person. I don't really believe in having people "show their socks" to everyone else. Just me. And that is a form of me, as an ENFJ building intimacy. If you refuse to show me your socks, you have that right totally! But I will also consequently just view this as a dead or stagnant dynamic and therefore no longer pursue intimacy with you. But I definitely don't think that these socks should be show to the general public unless they are needed to make a decision. Like....if I am tryna help us make a decision on where to eat, and it is soooo personal for you to just share that you are not a fan of Thai food....I can respect that I guess? I can't relate....but sure. Lol, however, I will then hope that I do not accidentally upset you if we all decide to get Thai. Hope that makes sense. But yeah, I also know I am just one of many Fe users so that could be different as we go along. Thanks!

[@sarahberkner]

I don't think a Te user would hesitate to say they're not a fan of Thai food, I'm an ESTJ and I'm going to feel free to share my opinion if I have one and it's something people need to know. I understand if I don't share it I can't be upset at people for choosing Thai food because that wouldn't make sense. The reason I don't particularly like being asked how I feel is, even though they're just being nice, I'd have to think about it to give an honest answer. So I always say fine, and if I always have the same answer it seems pointless. And I feel like I'm being dishonest if it's not the truth- although it is always the truth in that things could be worse.

[@Onnarashi]

As I seem to be an INTP, I think I can relate to this as I think Ti reacts similarly to Te. My thoughts are my own, and I'm not going to share them if I'm not ready to or don't feel comfortable. I can definitely see Fe (even with mine being inferior) being annoying to an Fi user. Fi definitely comes off as more authentic and personal, whereas I think Fe can be perceived as inauthentic, even fake.

[@pahmancanteat2637]

Can u explain the last line in more depth?

[@Onnarashi]

@@pahmancanteat2637 About Fi seeming authentic, and Fe seeming fake? Well, Fi is how you personally feel. It's your personal values. Only you feel what you feel. Fe on the other hand, is about the "vibe" of others around you. Fe is influenced by how others feel and behave, as well as their needs. If you use Fe, you could be perrceived as placating the needs of others or changing your mood or behaviour depending on how the group feels.

[@ryanquick1824]

i can ONLY imagine THAT IS where INFJs get hung up so often. their ENTIRE world/being IS Fe. so, it must be EXTRAORDINARILY EASY for them to lead themselves down the dark path of 'imposter syndrome' and feeling like their entire world is fake. - INTJ

[@ryanquick1824]

btw... unlike how closely and even intimately related Fe and Fi are, Ti is ABSOLUTELY POORLY related to Te. i mean sure theyre both variants of the thinking subtype. however, while Ti IS more personal and cerebral; Te IS more impersonal and corporeal. - INTJ

[@anneh851]

@@Onnarashi Exactly! Seems shallow and fake, just a front to impress others.

[@anthonyscott1997]

I was already an internet friend, but now i'm an internet friend who will receive notifications whenever you upload new data points.

[@InternetLiJo]

My data honors your data. Thank you

[@kr-666]

Having Fe as a Ti Dom its like "Oh, ew, they got pissed off by what I said, that's unfortunate"

[@InternetLiJo]

HAHAH the truth right there folks

[@YourNickIsTaken]

We are living in a sensitive world.

[@hashiyo9987]

It's hilarious, when it's other way around for Ti.

[@marigos]

real

[@jankom.7783]

It makes so much sense why Fi people willingly tell their emotions to people, while Fe people are afraid to do so. We (Fi tribe) do it, so that Fe people stop to bother us with their solutions to our emotions. Most of which are wrong, because they don't understand the mechanism behind it. They see only external emotion and mostly just guess incorrectly what it is. So Fi people just tell them, so Fe people can react with proper action. It works similar for every other function pair

[@stormiewutzke4190]

Damn you are good. Been looking everywhere for this.

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you :)

[@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

Great example ! Does the mood of Fe users depend of the mood of others ? Years ago, my ESFJ mum trying on a sweater: "Come look, do you like it ?" Me INTJ: "The most important thing is that you like it." And her partner ISFP didn't care at all, he was waiting outside.

[@InternetLiJo]

Great question! Best for a real Fe user to answer that one but the math would make sense that it is moved emotionally by others.

[@justinwhite2725]

ESFJ is the complete opposite of my type, but as I understand it they are largely motivated by making other people happy. So if you don't like the sweater, then they won't. I wouldn't say that's an Fe thing generally though. I have Fe 4th and I don't really care what others think of my clothes. INTPs tend to be the least fashion aware (unless that is their 'geek niche'. Some INTPs have geek niches like 'Cars' or 'Networking' that are things that INTPs usually don't care about)

[@sarahberkner]

As an ESTJ I totally get that, I wouldn't ask someone's opinion on clothes but I often need external feedback to know if something's a good idea or not. In your mum's case it's mostly other people, not her, who'll be seeing the sweater, and it makes sense to me she'd want to know what other people think of it.

[@serendptyhere5023]

As an INFJ I can say you illustared it vice versa. I always know when people are not comfortable with talking about something and I will never ask / talk to them about it for that reason. While my INFP fried would ask me wierd af super personal question just all of a sudden Fe demonstates high level of agreebleness so I will never continue with something other person don't like.

[@InternetLiJo]

I agree in execution completely, usually the ask in reality comes when a paired S function, but weather you're asking literally or not, you still parse from the same data stream :)

[@kyurei4478]

That's true. The Fe user most likely won't judge your feelings so they see any feeling as valuable to share cause they're okay with everything you feel. But for this same reason they can appear too intrusive cause you're not on your side. For this reason, it would probably be more effective to be honest and emotional and say you're not comfortable talking about it cause if they understand you don't feel good about it, they'll empathize with your emotions and will respect your boundaries.

[@mohammadmahdisaeedi7739]

Exactly...I have this issue especially with dominant Fe users enfjs/esfjs..they just should know how to respect personal boundaries..and the interesting part is secondary Fe users infjs/isfjs are so much better..they're calm and listening to whatever you're saying and don't force u for more information and tertiary Fe users entp/estp again have this issue with personal boundaries..they just want to know more and more about you..Fe users are showing themselves as kind and gentle person maybe they are really kind and gentle..idk..but when their asking about my emotions/memories and informations about my personal things in general I'm thinking what are the motivations behind these questions? So I'm dodging every single question wich makes them more curious somehow😅 but now I understand they're just gathering data because of their extroverted function. Something that is so normal cause I do this for my logical system aka Te all the time

[@gargervon8697]

I love your analogy. 😆 Tasteful, but vivid in how it illustrates the point. And it helps me clarify a thing or two regarding myself. I thought for a while that I had to be an ENFJ because of how much I love a good, deep connection with another person and I do seek those things, but now that I think about it, I look for them largely on my own terms. Group dynamics automatically put some limiters on what I will open myself up to, even with someone I trust. I will comply with the group in so far as I am content in doing so, but if I feel too restricted or encroached upon by it, I start wondering if I am just wasting my time and energy on it.

[@Ella-gi3xb]

As an entp with fi blind I never considered this. I don’t like getting too hung up on feelings because to some extent they make me cringe but mostly it’s my lack of awareness of or importance I place on my feelings that makes me assume that it’s just not that big of a deal to ask people how they’re feeling or trying to get some reaction out of them

[@EresirThe1st]

As an intj I never mind answering that question honestly. It’s not something to get defensive over.

[@ReynardAkuffo]

Interesting! Sometimes the Fe thinks the data is more of a need than a want. This issue I can clearly see how it can frustrate the Fi.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yes absolutley!! It sees it as necessary whereas the Fi is like... my personal stuff can't be necessary to you!

[@yournidom6512]

This video is eerily timely!! I have had two conversations this week where I was being challenged by me not "showing my "socks". I am so moved by the irony here that I'm getting ready to record a public reflection so I can unpack the relevance. Brb.

[@erikvarga4367]

As an INFJ who is pretty comfortable in the chaos of humanity and who doesn't need to know what socks you are wearing... "Hey, nice laced up military combat boots." :)

[@InternetLiJo]

We appreciate you!

[@jpfitness2242]

Nobody cares. Go back to your side of the internet, INFJ.

[@placii13]

Te/Fi people, stop trying to pick my brain please, and I promise to leave your socks alone 😁

[@m_n_a_b]

Bahaha! I didn't even realize that picking the brain of a Ti user feels the same for you as an Fe user trying to "pry" into my emotions. Well, then. Lesson learned. To me, thoughts are not personal and sharing them helps achieve a goal. However, feelings are highly personal and felt so deeply that I only trust them to those who are in my inner circle and won't stomp on them. Do feelings seem for you like thoughts seem to me? That they aren't personal and sharing helps achieve a goal?

[@gingerlunerose]

I’m an INFJ but still can relate to this. It’s annoying some Fe users don’t understand boundaries and privacy😭

[@gingerlunerose]

For me it’s especially STPs their Se and underdeveloped Fe annoyed me so badly that they constantly looking for what other people doing wrong logically (Ti) in the moment (Se) they don’t understand how it pissed me off when they seemed to care about me and what I was doing but they really don’t understand it made me feel so awkward when they constantly point me out what I should do instead of what I was doing the whole damn time it’s their urge to fix the problems for others they care They’re amazing people but damn it drains my energy level so badly unlike NTPs which makes me be more comfortable cuz they mostly stuck in their head and not ANALYZING me in every single moment we’re together Also ISFJs and INFJs pissed me off too My Fe is highly developed so I aware of making people uncomfortable or get too personal but some INFJs aren’t and the INFJ stare suffocated me a lot And I also i don’t like FJs’ logic the way they turn the right choice off then go for people’s choice😭 like you know something is systematically right and better in the long run but you still only care about what others feel. Growing up with TJs parents just help me figure it out the balance and how upset it is to listen to others before yourself

[@juice_lime5114]

@@gingerlunerose Sorry to be calling this out but are you sure that you are using Fe? Your perspective seems to be stemming from an Fi one, with a noticeable subjective referencing stance and lots of potential subjective biases. Ti users will naturally take attention towards this, which probably explains why they seem to particularly get on your nerves by picking on your loopholes. Fe/Ti users will pay attention to weed out self biases to shape more reasonable arguments for this sort of public space.

[@Maryam-cy6xn]

Wow, I love the example you did give, it’s brilliant and does deliver the idea in the best way possible✨🧦😭 As an Fe user, this is true, that’s what we actually want to know, YOUR FEELINGS so we can know how we deal with that person, but it’s happening in undirected way and in direct way with those close ppl to us or those who are open with their feeling, as Enfj with Ni as my second function, we can read that, or at least have an idea about it, and mature ones can easily read and know the feelings of others and any slight change that happens to it, so the first one who might notice your doldrums is an Enfj or even an Infj if it’s not that clear I’d think about all possible situations and making them count so I can be confident when I actually talk and kind of know what I’m dealing with…. But if a person doesn’t really want to share that part, I completely understand that, since the reason I asked or offered to listen is to make them feel better, because that’s for me it’s a relief when I do it, and for some ppl it’s actually not talking about it… So it’s respected… And it's annoying if the Fe user is just curious -_- and here where the Fe user would actually get upset when they’re being rejected🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♂️🤣😂 rather than respecting other’s lines… And maybe a tip in that situation, just be nice, say thanks for asking I appreciate that, but I don’t feel like sharing, cause they might asked because they wanted to help, so don’t push them hard, especially if you really care about your relationship with them, cause they would take it personally 🤡 When I ask my friend even a stranger HOW YOU DOIN ? I genuinely care about the answer, unless if I don’t really respect that person but end up greeting them in a social situation, Have a good one, love your videos :’) ‏

[@timothyc.8666]

1:08-1:11 - Yes. I struggle with object permanence on top of this so my mind often discards the last save file that I have if I haven't actually been in contact with the other person recently. It deems that data as being obsolete so then I go to acquire fresh data from the people that exist within my dimension of reality -- I'll check in. My use of Fe (INFJ) is out of concern that I have neglected my people and hopefully not at their time of need or of their growth. I do respect the need to privacy over one's own personal data unlike these companies that sell your information without concent. It's my hope that over time, others will feel comfortable enough to share the heavier matters with me and know that I won't judge them for it because we built that foundation early on by not taking a crowbar to people and trying to force a sealed box open.

[@ellier2018]

This explains so much! I couldn’t put the fe and fi dynamic into words but you summed it up really well! Being aware of an Fe user around me I will consciously say how I feel (a shallow emotion) just to give them some (artificial) bread crumbs to suck up lmao 😂

[@ClubENTP]

Great analogy with the socks. I actually was going to look up Fi and this video popped up. Thanks for making it. 👊

[@InternetLiJo]

Yay! Great timing.

[@Azdaja13]

If I want to share my emotions with someone, I'll do it on my own terms... and in the strictest privacy...

[@InternetLiJo]

Exactly

[@sylviefeyereisen5528]

Hi Lindsay! Thanks for this video helps me :). As an Fe user I definitely feel the same way when somebody ask me to share my Ti. I'm like, euh excuse me my Ti is not for grabs! And if it should come out it's because I want it to or by accident lol. As an ISFJ I have Ti as 3rd in my funcion stack so it sometimes comes out aggresive or immature.

[@stephanieperkin4083]

Drives me crazy when Fe people say "give so and so my love". I'm like if you love them why don't you pick up the phone and call them yourself? I am not here to be your love proxy 😂

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahaha I haven't thought about this but SAME!! I'm not your chemical messenger, distribute your own.

[@claytonpayne4346]

Wow, very helpful. Fi makes just that much more sense, because I can see how I do the same thing with Ti, like all the time. (Now whether I remember that for irl interactions, that's a different matter.)

[@InternetLiJo]

Glad it helped!

[@ryanquick1824]

the introverted variant of the functions (regardless of which one) is ALWAYS subjective and personal. they are said to be subjective functions not because theyre any less based on facts than objective functions but because they internal and, so therefore, personal ONLY to you the one experiencing them. - INTJ

[@PantherSpectre]

Omg! I love the sock analogy! So incredibly accurate!

[@julieolson1402]

As an INFP my Fi is savior. My high Fe sister always struck me as as needy when it comes to the tribe but perplexed when it comes to me. What she never seems to grasp is that there are people in this world who consider focus on "socks" to be an utter waste of good mental energy and life span.

[@MomandBuggs]

She probably wants to interact with your Se but you are an Si primary user. Or you Ne is her blind spot

[@paradoxbox9492]

Alright, but how do you connect to an Fi user on a more personal level (friendship/romance), as an Fe user, without being annoying? It's like, we now know what NOT to do, but what should we do? :) For context, I am an ENTP (Ne/Ti, double activated Play in OP), and the person I'd like to have better relationship with is an INTJ (Ni/Te). I can understand both perspectives in the socks analogy (btw, great analogy!), but naturally, I relate to the Fe user more in this scenario. Any ideas or suggestions from Fi users or people who are good friends with Fi users?

[@InternetLiJo]

Damn Moondust with the mic drop truth bomb. hahah I think if you want to connect with an Fi user more you need to leverage your T function with their T funciton which can be an awesome experience. What can you both do/build/figure out together? That extroverted experience will then tie in those introverted emotions.

[@daveofallpeople]

@Moondust Wow that really explains a lot. Thanks for this!

[@leogrrrl5876]

To Moondust- That's sad. & to LiJo- Unfortunately, that doesn't always work because people with Te can be very independent about the things they do & what they build. & then expect the other person to just do those things on their own as well. Hopefully it doesn't rise to the level of questioning the other person's confidence/competence for wanting to do those things together, but it can.

[@geniduchesne4613]

You could not have chosen a better example, very relevant and accurate.

[@irene404]

I think Fi user tend to get tired to socials easier (especially ones with lots of people or with Fe user) because we would usually fake our reactions like exaggerating emotions or keep thinking what should I say whenever they start asking those random and short questions like how are you finding your course or how are you liking London. These conversations drain my energy so much and I feel uncomfortable as well. Do you think this makes Fi user more “introverted” than Fe user? As in not liking to go to socials as much.

[@henrique.campos]

No, it depends more on many other stuff. I for instance, ENTJ(TeNi), love to interact with people as long as we are having conversations about reasoning(debates are my love language), or sensing(going to restaurants, concerts, museums, art galleries, etc...) When it comes to feelings(Fe), I can only bother if I can help the person reason about it. I'm very good with handling other people emotions because I always take the stand that "emotions and feelings are just our interpretation of internal discompass of hormones(Se), so if I come out with a good explanation that makes sense for this person, even if abstract(Ni), I can help them go through that". Also when it comes to plans and future(Ne), I like to help the person also providing reasoning over their future plans(Ni) and how they can achieve(Te) it using my own experiences and knowledge. But when people try to talk about my own plans(Ni) or my feelings(Fi) I always try to either disengage or explain them in a Te/Se way. So, a friend asked how I was feeling due to a recent break up, and I said "I'm hungry, I'm not taking care of my body(Se). I need to cook something good(Se) and write down some stuff to access that(Te). I think I'll play some songs and finish writing my book(Te) to distract a bit"

[@irene404]

Yea I agree I also like doing Te talks with my friends (as ISTJ with SiTe) but what I was trying to say is when it’s in a new environment of meeting a bunch of new people the fact they start asking those feeling questions to get to know each other would make me uncomfortable. Maybe I am referring to those kind of more typical ice-breaking talks, I feel like more time when people don’t know each other yet, the group of people tend to do Fe talks more than Te talks. But when it comes to doing a task even it’s not a serious one, for example during the rehearsal of an opera, I enjoy discussing how we can act or what’s the character’s emotion, or even sharing their silly ideas, as long as the group is focusing on the topic of the task then I could still find lots of fun in it. On the other hand, for people who may start to talk about other unrelated fun things during the rehearsal, even though the topic is funny and other people are laughing i still get so mad. Do you think position of the function stack also matters? Because for me, I would still share some of my feelings to my very close friends when I feel really stressed or sad. Maybe it’s because my Fi is still at the 3rd position where thinking and feeling are more balanced, while for ENTJ, they have the Fi as inferior function, would they share less emotion to others compared to a ISTJ or INTJ?

[@InternetLiJo]

Inherently emotionally introverted yes, and that will present itself socially absolutley. The Fe users are the saviors of the "birthday party". I'm with you, having to fake an emotion to just get through something is painful. Sometimes literally painful when you have to smile a lot or something haha.

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

As an INFJ, I don't need to ask for people's emotions, I just feel them and unfortunately absorb them. It is annoying because I don't ask, but I might ask why someone is feeling that way, then they look very shocked and dumbfounded.

[@omermanjo7459]

Parry my emotions,you filthy casual 😂😂😂 BTW, it's just a joke 😂 you are good -INFP

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

@@omermanjo7459 Ah, that is funny, hilarious even. But to be honest I might only be casual to other aliens and not these stupid human beings that we are surrounded by. 😂🤣

[@anneh851]

I really like your sox analogy, and the combat boots as a psychological defense mechanism to help hide them. Every time someone wants me to "show us the Fe", i feel invaded. It feels like they want, or are trying, to control me [I'm INTJ also]. Ellie R called it passive aggression, so I think many of us feel invaded by this.

[@daisydaisy246]

This is maybe what I've been going trough. As an INTP, I have a fight with my (used to be) my ISTJ best friend. She angry coz I don't wanna share my thoughts (eventho I promised I will share my thought, it's hard cuz I don't wanna share smth that uncertain and I am not sure about it) and I don't understand why she is angry and she lashing out, when I ask her why she is angry she just getting angrier. If she didn't share her feelings how I supposed to understand the problem is. Gosh.. Now she refused to talk about anything except our similiar interest. When I ask her about her personally she just keep ignore it like I doesn't exist. It is so painful. Idk how I supposed to do, it is frustating. I come to conclution of how childish her behaviour is

[@InternetLiJo]

Interesting and quite possible the dynamic at play here!

[@nora_8080]

I don't owe you any sock exposure 😂😂😂

[@sosinati3358]

Solitude is Gold.. people are tiring

[@rameshcppodcasts]

My INTJ girlfriend blocks me when I'm emotionally weak 😬 . INFJ. We quarrel at times.

[@ryanquick1824]

GREAT video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh, you forgot to add that in general we INTJs ABSOLUTELY DO NOT give one single, solitary FLYING FUCK what others feel except for maybe as a secondary metric to whether or not we are meeting our Te goals - OR - maybe IF we consider the other person as a close, intimate person (close relationship or friend) of ours. YEP, YEP. ABSOLUTELY. FOR SURE. - INTJ

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah thank you. Yeah even the concept of "how someone else feels" is an odd one.

[@skip123davis]

i;m also intj, and i totally get it. i've had gf's complain that i'm stoic. i can be really funny, but i never reveal anything emotional.

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

I love INTJs stoicism. It gives me much needed stability and clearing and since I‘m an INFP, I can feel their emotions and give them what they need

[@ACDBunnie]

The only times I feel uncomfortable sharing my thoughts are when I think someone is going to judge me as a result, but I don't feel an inherent privacy towards my thoughts or feelings. Like if I was around someone non judgemental, I would happily and openly share my thoughts, ideas, and feelings. The only reason I wouldn't is if some external force was making me feel like being fully truthful is unacceptable.

[@TipTypeTube]

😊 Truth is valuable. What's your type?! I like how self aware you are. I'm an ENFJ. I even make video's ❤

[@ACDBunnie]

@@TipTypeTube I consistently test as INTJ but I don't resonate with the stereotype

[@neverforgetpapa5386]

you described my experience to a tee as an infj. i’d really like to become more comfortable with speaking my mind in those scenarios, but it feels impossible in the moment when you’ve gauged how the other person will perceive/react. that and just opening any door for potential conflict is undesirable. i do admire the ability to have almost no filter, i’ve always wondered what that is like.

[@nataliejarosz9360]

Two things: I find that my ESFJ mother cna really push my buttons by gonig into sensitive emotionla territory for me, but I am better at communicating with her about that stuff hen I've cooled down enough. The other thing is that my therapist would likely get MBTI test results of INxJ (I don't know her outside of therapy, so I can't be certain either way.) Something that got my attention is that I asked her once how she's feeling and she needed a bit of time to think about it and to respond. The stuff that I feel strongly enough is there to the point that I can fairly quickly decide if I want to downplay it and how much. I don't know if she's just really good at picking up on patients' emotional vibes, but I wonder if she was in Fi mode or was used to focusing on patients' emotions that she needed time to check in on herself.

[@AntoineLavoisier]

Great video and excellent analogy! As lead Fe, I constantly ping off the tribe. I need their input because I’m not confident I’ve done things correctly with my inferior Ti. I don’t mind sharing my thoughts but don’t make me explain them please!

[@InternetLiJo]

Love how we are bringing the Ti triangulation into this!!

[@mysterroniouscherry326]

ENFP here. The socks metaphor is soooo accurate. You have no idea how I feel when Fe tries to unveil my emotions, like if I can name it emotional harassment, I very much would! It’s kind of creepy though no offence, like I feel violated😂 It feels like someone ask me to dress more revealing, rather than cover up. And there was one time I tried those mental health mindful therapy thingy people like to go to, and the therapist had those typical Fe ‘soothing’ voice, and my emotions felt ‘naked’ and very uncomfortable during the process. I stopped going to the following sessions entirely. I think I will just stick to self therapy and keeping my emotions to myself😅

[@kvh1928]

Being in a toxic relationship with an extreme taker will have you develop Fe and feel like it you owe it to everyone.

[@theultimatedisciple7974]

I’m an INFJ and I have an ISTJ relatively close to me. It comes across like his Te statements are always absolute but simultaneously acting like a lightning rod to try and bait my Ti, I refuse to share my Ti with him because I know he can’t understand, but this is probably due to my Ti mainly analysing the conceptual, but I’m sure it’s kind of the same in the reverse for you/him with someone like me. Edit: Why is Te parent so certain about everything??? What do you think the difference is in Te parent with an INTJ v ISTJ?

[@InternetLiJo]

Ah great minds! After editing this I was totally thinking about the inverse of Ti to Te... I think you just confirmed that!

[@hirsch4155]

It’s not just the conceptual, I think it’s more the ti factor than anything , the knowing that the other won’t understand. Your Ti won’t fit their Te box so why bother. Imo

[@theultimatedisciple7974]

@@hirsch4155 yeah Ofcourse but I’m sure I’d have a way easier time convincing an INTJ of my logic than an ISTJ, because at least me and someone like LiJo are looking at things through the same type of lense, it’s really hard for me to connect with that “I haven’t experienced it and there are no scientists out there (*that I’ve seen from MY SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE* - they’re not aware of this part) stating that case, so it doesn’t exist” mentality.

[@theultimatedisciple7974]

@@hirsch4155 to add further to this I’m sure the healthier more intelligent IXTJs at some point will start to develop their Ti critic, just like I have started to realise very recently that my Fi critic is there so that I don’t get taken advantage of emotionally and I’ve started listening to it a lot more, Te parents will have the same issue, they’ll be a slave to mass opinion until they train their Ti discernment, I am jealous of Te though in the sense that they actually hold knowledge that is applicable, as an INFJ It feels as if I have no methodology to give, just little nuggets of insight here and there, I guess we can all feel useless at times but that will also depend on who we are surrounded by and how their cognition is oriented.

[@sarahberkner]

​@@theultimatedisciple7974 I'm glad you realize that about Te and Fi. I've heard that some unhealthy INFJs are prone to being in bad relationships and I think it's a mix of a lack of Fi (I don't want to put up with this) and Te (it doesn't make logical sense to stay in this relationship and it's not actually doing any good). And it's possible Ni-Fe convinces them they can change the person eventually.

[@octo5042]

sometimes i don't want to be interrogated on my emotional state. sometimes i just want to exist in the state i want to exist in, even if it doesn't suit people's expectations for me. but, my Fe dom best friend will has an almost intrusive way(much like the example you showed) of talking to me, of getting any information she can, when she doesn't need to know. asking things like *silence* "What is this?" or "You're killing me(like im doing a bit)" and asking things not for the subject, but for the emotional response I give, which is an ulterior motive that I just rubs me the wrong way.

[@mauritsbol4806]

1:35 As ENTP, having dated an intj, this was the best. She hated it. It’s nothing personal, it’s just data

[@Takosaga]

HANDS OFF MY DATA AND IM NOT WEARING SOCKS YOU WEIRDO!

[@InternetLiJo]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAH winning comment right there

[@beingsomeone201]

entp me just said truthfully once to the intj that he had a look of certain celebrity person (who is average in popular btw) Intj was really happy, next day he dressed himself proudly like that celebrity and said half intj sarcastic wise that i was right🎉 thats entp me s short ne fe talk sometimes & which sock are you wearing? - even i will be getting triggered by this se-si nitty gritty non thinking mind set talk😅 & in fack i beat intj in a debate by how he helped people by giving them a simple best pathway and later forgot cz of intjs ni te fi has answer of se ne ti te si based all the questions but ni is too futuristic so even intjs didnt realise how he helped people

[@BlackSailPass_GuitarCovers]

Maybe I don't want them to know I have odd socks.

[@ireleee]

i have a group of friends that majority of them are Fe users (more like a lot of ISFJs and an INTP) and even though i love them, i find hard to relate to them sometimes, i feel like the different one of the group (as an Fi user)

[@rach_bot]

I suspect my daughter is an INTJ. This explains why she doesn't readily share what she's feeling with me. I'll back off a bit now for sure. Maybe just present myself as there for her whenever she needs me.

[@mara3842]

"Sock exposure" lmao

[@jamesjohn3598]

As i intj do you ever feel depressed

[@Wildpower2012]

This is so interesting and now I get it more... I am INFP BUT I am extremely interested and schooled in Ni and Fe (my opposites) by decades of study in intuition work and emotional work, and my Value system valuing parts of Fe and Ni very much at the middle top of my values. I feel that both Fi:s and Fe:s get very annoyed with me because I in some ways function polar opposite to Both of them. Way too individualistic and controversial for the Fe:s and way too heart on my sleeve plus just Knowing and Feeling how most people feel and what they value even though they hide it. (I really value transparency and vulnerability - I have seen the beauty and fruits it can promote.)

[@NikoN-xw6xy]

As an INFJ I’m so glad my TI function kicks in before my FE goes out of line as well. 😂

[@Truth0700]

Fe, Fi... Fo, Fum?

[@kyurei4478]

Love your channel and this topic is really interesting but in defense of the Fe side, I think the way you talk about Fi also reveals a lot about INTJs thinking process. You explain the Fi feelings are very personal and not necessarely relevant cause it's subjective so you don't want to share it. But that's the thing, the Fe user sees it as relevant cause those subjective and personal feelings are a part of you and reveal your tastes and preferences as a particular human being. So this is relevant in regard of yourself and your individuality. It's one of the aspects INTJs eventually learn to develop in order to be generally more likeable and approachable because they acknowledge and share their emotions. The Fe user wants to know you because they want to please you. Now don't get me wrong, some can become very intrusive when it's very personal stuff but there is certainly a lign to determine between what is ok and not ok to share. You can compare it to Te and Ti actually. Not all Ti users want to share their ideas cause they can find it's too personal, controversial or irrelevant cause they have the Fe to see it is. And yet some Te users tend to insist on feedbacks and to be annoyed when you didn't share it earlier but sharing it wouldn't necessarely bring something valuable to the table.

[@sarahberkner]

As an ESTJ I do wish people would share their thoughts earlier rather than later if it's something that's objectively true that I need to know. If they're worried they might be wrong I understand that, but usually they just don't realize I would need to know it or don't care. And I realize Fe users have every right to ask someone to share their feelings, unfortunately with me I'll always just say I'm fine, and then feel bad that I'm not more expressive and honest. Depending on the situation though they're sometimes asking just to be nice, not because they actually want to know but because it's what you're supposed to do.

[@kyurei4478]

That's appreciated. It's not that they don't care. They just don't find it worth it. I also understand Te users have the right to ask someone to share what they think or know to try to make things more clear and better by having more informations. But as far as I'm concern, I won't share it and will just say I don't know instead cause I wouldn't want to break a good group cohesion and bring a discord or make some people feel sad, hurt or useless just for the sake of a not guaranteed better efficiency. I may feel guilty and not honest afterward for not helping when I could tho. But sometimes they can just ask because they want to be productive and things to be done quickly, not because they actually care about what you have to say but more so because there is a work to complete.

[@SurrealSprite]

As an Fi user I can say it feels like they’re asking to see our briefs instead of socks but that’s a conversation we’re not ready to have

[@leofee]

Omg as an INFJ (Fe dominant) I instantly felt like this is such dismissive, disconnecting behaviour from the Fi 😬 It obviously isn’t meant that way, but goes to show how very different people can be. I have a friend who I think must be Fi and I constantly feel shut out by her and I find it very difficult to deal with. I sense whenever she doesn’t want to talk about something and in those cases never probe or ask, but it just makes me feel like there is so much depth missing in the connection…

[@jeannined7532]

I also have an INFJ temperament, but this example with the socks is really the dark side of Fe. I'm very aware of passive agressive behavior. My mom was an Fe manipulator and I swore I would never do that to people. The dark side of Fi is a selfish self-absorption to the point of being indifferent to others, but I also know Fi users who make a point of learning how to listen and respond to others as if they actually exist in their own right. I'm 72 and have learned over the years that knowing and learning the shadow functions are key to living a life based in love. As an INFJ, that means I have used every means possible, from counseling to journaling to actually know what I feel, want and need and learn to speak up on my own behalf. It's never as natural as Fe, but so necessary to live a balanced life.

[@blancheb3533]

I am INFJ. I think this annoying Fe stereotype applies more to Fe doms (ENFJ / ESFJ) than those who have Fe auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior. Fe is really about understanding immediate reality by trying to get the vibes and emotional atmosphere of a situation and acting accordingly to what they perceive is the emotional and social setting of a situation, and by extension society (e.g. by observing social norms and etiquette -- this is why ENFJ and ESFJ are often stereotyped as superficial and concerned with social status, since they basically understand reality as trying to fit in and adapt to HUMAN NATURE and being a social chameleon as a means of survival). The positive aspect of being Fe dom is that they often truly care about helping others, setting a good social atmosphere for everyone, so that no one feels left out, because basically they understand what it feels like to be in a specific situation, they can put themselves in the shoes of another person and try to see their emotional perspective and attenuate to the needs of others, which an Fi user can't or has a hard time grasping. The negative aspect is when an Fe dom manipulates their way through charm, flattery, guilt-tripping, blackmail, or just ruining someone's reputation through gossip and drama since they could really be good at this if they wanted to. I think the mistake Fi users make is to ASSUME Fe is just stupid or annoying, they forget the fact that feelings and emotions are a legitimate aspect of reality and can even be understood and scientifically studied. This is why entire societies can be swayed by the high-strung speeches of a charismatic leader, why some people get lured into cults, and on a much more practical level, how marketing works by appealing to the wants and needs of your target market.

[@kyurei4478]

So true.

[@the-life-changing-book-club]

It’s true that as a Ti>Fe user I ‘need’ emotional data points to feel comfortable socially. You withhold your socks and I have no idea where to start on interacting. I have tried the ‘I’ll show you mine’ and the pinging off other topics approaches but that just ends up with blank looks more often than not. How do you communicate with each other?

[@sarahberkner]

I'll admit I'm bad at meeting new people and talking in general as an ESTJ, but talking about something besides feelings is preferred. I've had plenty of humorous or interesting conversations, they might be about things I enjoy or am interested in, like my work or someone's story or a movie we both like or a current issue, but they never started with, "How are you feeling?". I'd recommend asking about something more specific the person is interested in, which is harder if you don't know them of course. And you're not going to be able to communicate with everyone, you can be grateful for your Fe that makes it easier to start conversations even if they don't go anywhere.

[@lotus5w4sxsp]

My response: "I'm not wearing any socks!" 😉

[@Mad_Oxy]

As a dom-Ti inf-Fe user, I don't latch onto people to know their emotions about any subject. Hight Fe users, especially sensory (ISFJ and ESFJ) are the real menace in that regard. I like to be left alone, I don't like being questioned. But at the same time, high Fi users annoy me sm. There's some ExFP coming into a room and telling everyone how they feel about a certain thing when everybody else is yet to see the thing and spoiling the mood, never giving a chance for other people to decide what they would feel about the thing without being compromised by other's opinion. Who asked you, girl? I know why Fi users act like that ('cause they don't give a damn about other people's feelings and think that their whining won't affect them in any way), but it doesn't mean I should like it. INTJs are less prone to do it regarding their own feelings, but they have no problems sharing their ENFP friden's unsolicited feelings on the matter.

[@henrique.campos]

That's the thing about you inferior Fe users. People's feelings bother you and instead of accessing that you guys create a whole theory on your heads about why the person is doing that and how this makes no sense(to you) and how this screwed other people's emotions(Fe). What about having some balls and cut the person's off before they vomit their feelings? High Fi user: "Ohh guys I'm feeling so[...]" You: "Please, don't start the drama now. Talk with (some high Fe user) in private if that's important"

[@Mad_Oxy]

@@henrique.campos I don't create any theories, I just hate it because it's screws *my* emotions. I'm Fe user and I hate arguments. That is not something I would ever do. It's not only regarding negative feelings. It's about any of them. The problem is not that they start drama, but that they spoil the experience.

[@justinwhite2725]

​​@@henrique.camposo much this. I recall one specific instance where I was out with a friend at a mall and at one point I could sense he was irritated (I consciously noted he was clenching/grinding his teeth and he got real quiet - as well as some non conscious things my Ne probably picked up) I leapt to the conclusion (because that's what Ti-Ne does) that he was upset with me for some reason. We sat down to eat and he eventually explained that his husband was supposed to pick him up and hasn't responded to any of his texts. That was what was bothering him - had nothing to do with me at all.

[@henrique.campos]

@@justinwhite2725 A friend of mine who I spend most of my time with, it's probably an INTP, and we always hit this kind of problem. I'm an ENTJ, and different from what people say that we are robots looking to efficiency and perform all the time ignoring feelings ruthelesly, we are actually very moody. We just don't know how to access that correctly. So this friend of mine always creates theories about he making something wrong and I treating him badly to "punish him". Where in reality I was just "that break up was so bad to me I wish I was just doing my work instead of interacting with other people, but at this moment this friend needs my help with his app". It's even worse with Fe dom people, trust me. One of my exes was an incredible person, but she took everything personally, probably an ENFJ or INFJ. So I couldn't over or under react. I couldn't even be sad about, e.g., losing my friend or backfiring a marketing campaign. She found a way to turn it into whole story about how she messed up something and instead of me talking about it I was treating she badly.

[@PhotoRubio]

Fe: Look at the ocean. Look how it reaches out to the infinite horizon! Fi: Yes, but have you explored its' depths...

[@InternetLiJo]

A lot of amazing things down there 🌊

[@woodykusaki9970]

As an INTP, my Fe is so underdeveloped. I stopped listening to it and went full Ti. Fe still bothers me though.

[@JoshLeachAnimator]

Wow this is pretty much how I (Ne-User) pester Ni users for thoughts and ideas hahahaha

[@hunter2358]

Okay interesting, do you think we can control the Fi trickster's emotional dysregulation and its fluctuate nature in an ENTP thru the parent (Ti) assertive dominance instead of expressing it thru Fe child as a negative way of a copy mechanism?

[@InternetLiJo]

I think so. It would be one of those questions you ask yourself - does having this emotion make sense? Does this emotion benefit me? Just some ways I can think to default it to Ti.

[@LowlifeMnich]

Subbed. (ENFP here)

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks!

[@redblue5868]

Counterpoint - humans need to express emotions in order to connect with others authentically. Immature Fe can overstep and seek too much, but immature Fi needs to learn to open appropriately when relating to others, assuming a connection is desirable in the given circumstance. Edit - this is true even for those with Fi in the 5-8 stack (like me, INFJ). If you want to go "deeper" with someone on some level you have to accept that they deserve some Fi insights.

[@TipTypeTube]

❤ What a good observation. Thank you for sharing. What could bring an Fe user in balance, you think? Some people just don't want to share, it's okay. We are not entitled to anything 😊. INFJ ❤ one of my favorite types.

[@cathyhart3946]

THIS! I get that ENFJ's can sometimes be intense, but when Fi users hold everything back as if their feelings are just too "private" to share, then how can they expect to build intimacy with people? I know an INFP who wonders why she can't get into a romantic relationship and I'm thinking, "Duh! Maybe loosen up a little with your emotions."

[@redblue5868]

@@TipTypeTube For balance - I think if the Fe user is continually checking with themself, "Am I trying to help them for their sake, or for mine?" Sometimes helping someone means holding back what you might want to give, and letting the other person go at their own pace and make peace with their own emotions.

[@daveofallpeople]

Hey Lijo! Thanks for this video. It's been something I've been trying to process for a while now! Do you find that Fi users are more open to showing emotional data after they get to know someone well? Is there a point to where someone is comfortable sharing their Fi like that? Would like to be more respectful of people's Fi and to know what's appropriate and when

[@InternetLiJo]

I think Fi knows how subjective it is but also how tied to the identity it is. I think an environment that nurtures it coming out is one where the person can voice they appreciate its authenticity and uniqueness and that its okay not going along with the Fe tribe stuff all the time. Helps us feel seen and accepted.

[@daveofallpeople]

@@InternetLiJo Gotcha. Thanks for the response. Havent talked to ya in a while. Hope all is well!

[@oscarl.3563]

Great example.🙂 If it helps anyone(fi/te) see some value in Fe; I, as a ti-savior, have some built-in interest in your contentedness and well-being. I would like to see you content enough, because I have this bloody thing called care. And for me I'm trying to bond with others by asking about their "socks," and as a sometimes inept freak it has sometimes saved my rear-end to gather how other people "do human." For instance to dress like my peers to avoid being targeted. It's not that I want to be you, I just ask for a crumble to raise my SF base-line. Copy some here, copy some there... taken altogether it forms a complete picture and I survive another day amongst the humans.

[@rimo10]

This is so accurate

[@davidintonti]

INTJ peeps, do you obligated or bound to reciprocate in the "showing of the socks?" Does impending sock-peeping-time create anxiety? If you felt obligated to show 'em to your significant other, would that perpetually violate a boundary? I'm particularly interested in how this internal judgement (I wouldn't make you show me your socks, who the heck do you think you are) has or could lead to resentment and eventual contempt within long term relationships - and maybe how you deal with that. @LiJo will you book a non-Tuesday? :)

[@InternetLiJo]

Sure send me an email of a preferred day and I’ll make it work [e-mail]

[@m_n_a_b]

I'm not INTJ. I'm ENFP. However, my husband of 11 years (we've been together nearly 14 years, though), is INTJ. I'm also an Fi user. It's second in my stack. I am able to see through masks super quick because of my Ne. So, I can tell when someone isn't being truthful about their emotions. However, I also assume that they will share what is bothering them when they are ready or with someone they feel close enough with to trust. For me, my inner circle of friends is made up of those I can trust with my emotions and struggles and deeper, introspective thoughts. They also share theirs with me to the extent they are comfortable. I accept whatever level they are willing to go to. My INTJ husband knows I can read him like a book, and he is able to do the same with me. So, both of us regularly will ask the other, "What's going on in that head of yours? I can see the hampster running on the wheel. Care to share?" And then whoever is in need of sharing will spill what is rocking around in our mind and we talk about it. Neither of us feels as though the other is being invasive, even though we are both Fi users. We definitely feel that way when those not in our inner circle ask. It feels intrusive and nosy to us. However, with each other, that has never been an issue. Even from our friendship days, we always felt comfortable sharing feelings with each other. We just clicked from the very beginning and it felt like we had known each other forever. There is no area in each other's hearts that is off limits to the other. We are completely comfortable sharing everything with one another because of the level of trust in our relationship. We also both know how to respect each other's need for introspection and space. So, if we are not up for sharing in the moment we are asked, or if we are unsure of our feelings and need time to keep processing, we simply say that and then share when we are ready. As long as whoever you are with knows how to be considerate of your needs and respect your boundaries, and you do the same with them, it won't feel intrusive when they ask how you are doing.

[@alex.does.comedy]

hahhaha, the most INTJ analogy ever :D

[@godKiller.369]

So wearing combat boots is an INTJ /HNi thing and not just me?

[@avidrandomer]

I expend a lot of effort planning what emotion I want to express. Unfortunately I find that if you don't have your excuses pre-prepared then people will ask too many questions😆

[@ogyanabear]

this doesnt bother me too much . but what does bother me is when the Fe user assumes they know what kind of socks im wearing , what color / print they are , where i got them from , what size shoe i wear 😭 , etc . more than i do . & { back to the actuality of it , being feelings ) thus , what is best for me , more than i do , especially if they have Ni , & me being an Ne user . all love for Ni , but .. these are just our cognitive *tools* 🧰 . nor Ni OR Ne ( or even Fe ) is equivalent to being God , all knowing , or omniperspective ( indeed , im making up a word lol ) . & i think thats something us high intuitives can forget . theres also a difference between being lovingly helpful & being intrusive , imposing , or even controlling w|o even knowing all that you think you know 🥴 via putting * your * own ideals onto others . kinda cancels out the whole purpose of Fe at that point .

[@the-life-changing-book-club]

Here are some thermal socks that will suit you much better, dear. I made them specially for you.

[@m_n_a_b]

Are you an ENFP, by any chance?

[@ogyanabear]

​@@m_n_a_b mayyybe

[@ogyanabear]

@@m_n_a_b why do u ask 👀

[@entropy8000]

The passive side to Fe is the fact that there is no processing time. I can react to something emotionally faster than I can Ti process if it's grounded in logic or emotion or a ratio. Fe can also very much operate in the background as something I am constantly absorbing and aware of. Maybe it is because its tertiary for me, but it acts as a backboard for me in the sense that I always sort of can feel if what I am thinking or doing will be valued or judged a certain way. I don't always listen to it, even though I know what I am doing would lead to criticism or resentment. I think people tend to focus on the more proactive/conscious side of Fe. It sometimes keeps me from going down a Ti rabbit hole because I can imagine what the general consensus would be and then I would use Ti to weigh the pros and cons and break down to see if [the thing] is logically sound

[@sandradibiaso7316]

I actually like being asked "How are you?" That's why an ISFJ is my perfect match. I am an ESFP.

[@InternetLiJo]

I love that you like being asked that

[@_thejuicebox]

so uhhhhh how are you feeling? :) being silly aside, great video! i’m sure it’ll help a lot of people understand through the metaphor! (though i shall continue to eventually gather all the data)

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah in this very moment I'm feeling quite fine :)

[@isfj8w741]

So i did have a conflict with a fe user which made it clear to me that i am an fi user Fe - value placed on object, they would really take time and effort to have their value based on the object Fi- but for me as an fi user it is up to me (the subject) to determine on what is valuable. For non fi users, this may sound insanely self centered but here is it based on my conclusion; 1. Fi is something we cant describe, its a feeling that we know what is right for us what is meaningful for us 2. Fi uses Te to impose/enact on the object not Fe - this is what is valuable to me then this is what we should do, this can appear as pretty darn imposing like a hammer tbh 3. To be fair Fi is pretty hard to change, this is because we take years/a really long time for it to figure out what is for us its like building up a stack of cups, you have carefully built, if other people are building other things, youdont really care because building the stacks is personal to you. But suddenly, someone starts questioning it, or at least making it conform because the object does not value it, it can be really hurtful for us tbh we have built this for so long and now look at it

[@renahime_]

the sock example moreso displays immature Fe users. as a Fe user myself, i make it a point to avoid being invasive by gauging their reactions. not every Fe user is this much of a utilitarian, and we tend to avoid provoking conflict. if we're using the sock example, i would notice their choice to hide their socks and not press any further for the sake of sustaining social harmony.

[@SeelenTaucher]

That really socks dear Lijo! 😆👍🏻 😳🤯 Intense knowledge. Enfp Thinking of: Tech communication makes IT Harder to "observe" No diploma in mind Reading. 😆 Long distant Relationships with No shared Quality Time to understand and observe fully...is IT even possible to understand and the how the Person really is Like?

[@AnonW]

Do you ever feel that Fe is "fake"? As an Fi user? Coz when Fe users Fe me, I tie that into oh maybe we have a personal connection with each other over time, nekminit, theres no progression and they do it to everyone...

[@adeadcrab]

gorgeous

[@Techyyyy]

Me Fi user automatically frowning when I hear the Fe request example XDD 03:14. Leave my socks alone! >:c

[@mokari9268]

Madonna, Kobe Bryant, Trump, Bill Burr all have Fe in their upper stack and use it to get reactions, i.e. INFORMATION feedback! What's funny, what hurts, what stings, and how they can get an edge over their target, coupled with SE or NE and you get very dynamic characters. Anyways I loved your explanation.

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you and yes with the Fe reaction state!

[@sirphil13]

Oh, but Fi users are so cute with their "get back" stare, that it evokes our INFJ's little rascal to want to get you to lighten up and play with us...though, it seems that we only attract the lil rascal inside the ENTPs to come play with us, they understand our intentions better than most.

[@ellier2018]

Lmao the “get back” Fi stare 😂

[@gargervon8697]

I'm betting it might work on ENFPs, too. But, ENFPs probably won't give you the "get back" stare, either, so maybe it isn't applicable. Just be ready to get more than you bargained for if you try it! 😏

[@WithBACON]

[INFP] Yep; I find it perplexing that some folks believe we Fi-doms are best matched (romantically) with Fe-doms; in most contexts I find Fe to be at best irrelevant and at worst directly antagonistic/in opposition to my goals/aims/aspirations. On that note; an ENFJ's take on an INFP who refused to go along with the narrator's agenda/vision for their future: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z4S3aoeQd8dsrJo

[@juliz2500]

Yeah I can relate (INFP). I have a friend who has been in love with me for years and I like him a lot but can't accept that he's always been so adamant about HIS plans for MY future.