When it's your first day as a hitman

[@alendmizori8575]

That guy went through the 8 stages of grief and 7 layers of hell twice

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

And committed all 7 deadly sins at least once

[@shadowclone1598]

9 layers of hell you heathen

[@LoganJones88]

"the more the merrier"

[@DiggyPT]

i ated the other 2 layers of hell sorry😢

[@alendmizori8575]

@@DiggyPT What did it taste like?

[@FleshyWhiteChocolate]

“What’s that sound?” “Oh just the gates of hell opening up for two more people” Had me fucking dying of laughter

[@voltdamia8094]

Lol

[@TheBoss-zp4ur]

🍿😀

[@louisrobitaille5810]

Remember, everyone in the ZCU is heavily Christian 😂.

[@FaynarsSaiqo]

Not me, seemed like it was making gays the _butt_ of the joke. But in all seriousness that seemed like a joke aimed at gay people, rather than for, or even just about, them.

[@IsaiahRichards692]

@@FaynarsSaiqoMr Hitman: You’re under arrest for mass murder and homophobia! (You’re so going to hell!)

[@buginshaorma]

*Shoots him* - Are you mad?

[@rsyvbh]

Lemme get you a bandaid

[@Highminded12]

Just that question alone woulda increased my blood pressure. Then due to the gaping wound. Woulda killed me faster.

[@Paganini-Liszt]

@@rsyvbh piano

[@rsyvbh]

@@Paganini-Liszt la campanella

[@Forever-GM-Dusty]

"Job security for psychiatrists" -- is exactly the kind of banger I come to this channel to hear

[@deletodraw1944]

"Turn off the body cams" IM DONE XD

[@KamikazeNinja75]

DOUBLE TAAAAP!😂

[@Dude-xb3xh]

So is the husband’s life

[@elliotschnabel8364]

Ah, yes, my first day as a hitman. Such a relatable situation that everyone has experienced.

[@elliottdavid7405]

I know right

[@Dan_Hess]

Sounds like something a hitman would say to try to cover up that they're a hitman!!

[@helenos_152]

Yes

[@Kingslayer11]

Yeah who hasn’t

[@scholargrrl]

I mean, my day was worse. 😂

[@ashgrun]

i saw the bed again and knew EXACTLY what was coming

[@Unkindled13]

Very poor choice of words

[@knutthompson7879]

Exactly what was ... coming. Indeed.

[@rynethegrynd]

officer hernandez

[@Jeff-sr6fx]

Or.. who was coming

[@Dyanosis]

@@Unkindled13 Or maybe it was the best choice of words, but wrong spelling.

[@aniocitex1131]

He is both, able and willing to be a hitman

[@mushroomjuise2349]

maybe not so able but definitely willing

[@CheezusTM]

Ehhh able? More like willing

[@aniocitex1131]

@@CheezusTM he had to get recommended for the job somehow

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

​@@aniocitex1131 Have you heard of... blackmailing?

[@minos8948]

Not as able and willing as the poeple at those parties

[@therealx1ras453]

Shrapnel In My Asshole is a badass band name

[@voltdamia8094]

Yeah lol

[@ryanc.510]

If I ever start a band I might use that 😂

[@lordender_kitty_official]

@@ryanc.510 you'll have to fight me for it, lol.

[@jamesplayzreviews]

@@lordender_kitty_official Let's throw them hands then 👊🤛🤜

[@mukkah]

Bruh LMFAO DED X'D

[@St4rf1sh_S0ci3ty]

"Did you get your man?" "No but somebody's got 𝘼 man" 💀

[@mystey1]

'Somebody else got my man'

[@Complexcap40217]

“Can you just send the avengers already?!?!?!?” Best line in this skit

[@zohairs.5038]

Then the avengers join in...

[@FadiSaaidi]

@@zohairs.5038the Avengers:”You guys started WITHOUT US” (making out noise)

[@andreasapelqvist9247]

Yeah Marvel and Disney got som free advertising 🙂

[@danielj.m5478]

The production quality 8/10, story line 9/10, absolute historical laughter 1000/10 😂 “wtf hell is going on”

[@dickottel]

laughter so historical the dinosaurs could hear it 🦕

[@Tridentofmemes]

Real

[@IronFistGamingCSGO]

hysterical

[@JaysMCworld]

@@IronFistGamingCSGO n,o he was laughing so much it went down in history

[@billcynic1815]

The Hitman speedrunners have to start somewhere.

[@happypoo6708]

“What is that noise?” “Job security for psychiatrists” best line from one of these videos in a while!

[@exocolt15]

“Nothing to worry about”

[@adamp4987]

No that was the customer he sounded so disappointed 😂

[@stinky1426]

"ohh sorry. I'm still learning :)"

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

,,Okay, let's try something else" :)

[@FiestaTX17]

Dude went to hell and back twice, the fact that he was still willing to complete the mission despite not being able to is inspiring given the situation

[@DXDragon38]

Mrs. Hernandez has a lot to talk about over Brunch now

[@MarshiiRose]

If this is what it takes to be a hitman, then I'd probably end up in the exact same scenarios here

[@insomniac_mind776]

Same, lmfao

[@howdoeatjerry3975]

@@insomniac_mind776 does imfao mean in my factually accurate opinion or laughing my fucking ass off?

[@Scarlett.Granger]

So what you're telling me is that the only two qualifications to be a hitman are being gay and loving orgies and also being able to ... Shoot guns?

[@ShadowRavencroft]

I want to see a crossover between the Hitman and the Kidnappers.

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

A newbie hitman being a hardcore Christian was not on my bingo card for KZbin skits this year. Well done!

[@runninwildforever]

he said catholic school

[@esavvysavokiii1277]

@@runninwildforevercatholicism is a sect of christianity

[@Conta_Minated]

I'm beginning to think that this hatman company is all about murdering gay people.

[@TonyYarusso]

@@runninwildforeverYeah, and?

[@darthvaderbro7210]

​@@runninwildforeverCatholics are Christian.

[@voltdamia8094]

"the more the merrier"

[@Ukalnsk]

The entire chat must join in

[@placeholderblankspace]

JUST THE GATES OF HELL OPENING UP FOR TWO MORE PEOPLE 😭😭😭

[@ahuman5592]

he is willing however, not able, to be a hitman

[@hafplace1346]

nah twice he gets in that situation is crazy, not even therapists can cure him

[@vismaykedilaya1318]

"Now would you PLEASE send the GODDAMN avengers over here?" that's when i died

[@danielgoertz8962]

The fact the bed was still moving when the third cop came in implies the first two DID NOT STOP even for a SECOND when they got caught

[@hinahammad1047]

BRROOO THOSE COPS SEEMED HAPPY AF

[@thanosduckplease]

Zach is both able and willing to provide job security for his psychiatrist

[@accidentalmadness1708]

“She cheated on me!” Dude weren’t you in a Devil’s Triangle yesterday?

[@xaviersmorag8025]

I love the character development of the hitman and how we slowly figure out his backstory

[@milesfreilich968]

2:08 room for a third, ROOM FOR A THIRD.

[@allaware1971]

"anyone who says it's beautiful is out of their goddamned mind.."

[@voltdamia8094]

The shrapnel could actually give him some very serious infections....

[@tc6818]

"It could, it could! It could break the skin. It could lodge under the skin and cause a very bad infection!" --- Clark Griswold

[@antonionnam6594]

"I don't know all the laws, but i know what they told me in catholic school" This dude's on another level.

[@akir4979]

'room for a third?' actually destroyed me

[@heybro345]

1:38 that 'Hello' got me rolling. It was so uncharacteristic for a hitman but Zach made it sound right. 😂😂. Keep them coming Zach.

[@juzoli]

Another sketch inspired by Zach’s real life events.

[@Jenifer_R_]

I was waiting for him to lick his fingers after he'd finished mixing the poison.

[@aiden3627]

So was I 😂

[@kjam9085]

"What's that noise?" "Just job security for a psychiatrist."🤣 🤣

[@Adaho6]

Yep, its Zach Star Himself

[@Paganini-Liszt]

That was the customer 💀

[@freddymcshreddy6586]

I like to imagine this is how Agent 47’s first day went.

[@docgrey3826]

Zack, That may be one of the top five best videos ever. I'm sharing that with so many people.

[@kyles1255]

3:24 that scream caught me so off guard what the hell

[@IAteAJarOfPickles]

"Ive never been with another man" 😏😏 "Me neither" 💀💀 "Room for a third" ☠️☠️

[@KB-iv5dz]

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Are you mad?" LOL "I know what they taught me in Catholic school so could you just send Seal Team Six already?" As someone who went to Catholic school, this is hilarious. Keep up the good work.

[@alekzandervenegas7409]

His tone of voice 😂😂 "join the party"

[@halvsketchy9293]

All those people were willing and able to do it

[@Idk_Shinobu]

2:05 Did he accidentally get caught in a diddy party or….😭🙏🏾

[@noahgilbert8218]

3:47 Imagine playing that when an intruder arrives

[@namebn]

0:39 damn it, you got me with that one while I had food in my mouth.

[@MarkIrwin02]

That hitman needs a huge raise for having to go through all that 2 times.

[@6900xx]

The more it progresses, the more ridiculous and funnier it gets. 😂😂 Well done Zach

[@placidflunky6642]

most fortunate zach star skit character

[@ecg3803]

As soon i saw him enter "the Magic room" again i knew what was about to happen

[@thecasiorobinson]

This might be the funniest Zach video I've seen. Like they're all hilarious, but this one might just take the cake

[@kossettereaditte7552]

This is the funniest one he has ever made lmao

[@user-scott-pearce]

There was not 1 but 2 three ways in this video, somewhere this is someones wet dream or dry nightmare

[@eggmanrules167]

3:22 the way he grabs the gun cracks me up

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

,,But what if they ask me to kill... them?"

[@spyingfive]

3:20 i was laughing for 3 minutes straight

[@lad4830]

same

[@murphygreen8484]

I'm a hospital bed after two procedures in two days shouldn't be laughing and that scene nearly ended me 🤣🤣😂💀

[@spyingfive]

@@murphygreen8484 Fr

[@OregonSlimMF]

That was so fucked up yet so god damn funny at the same time! Knocked this one outta the park for sure!

[@theghost9667]

The toilet paper roll used as a silencer was so funny😂😅

[@Jakub1989YTb]

1:04 .. I expected crossover to that one video from way behind, with the assasin in the home.

[@ArunRaj-zz2xy]

The new John Wick remake looks nice

[@maverickmissile801]

Zach seems to be telling us something..

[@macvos]

"What's happening over there?!!" - "Job security for psychiatrists" Epic

[@jlpsinde]

BETTER AND BETTER; AMAZING!!!!!!!

[@maximumhoops123]

How is that 19hours ago

[@KingFateThe1st]

​@maximumhoops123 the video couldve been priveted so omly certain people could see it

[@2ofaKindReal]

@@maximumhoops123 Don't worry, he's a time traveler.

[@KingFateThe1st]

@@2ofaKindReal that makes more sense

[@jlpsinde]

Hi, I pay him on Patreon, so I can see before other people that don’t pay.

[@GamePandaXXL]

The callback to stirring the poison drink with your finger on the first day of being a hitman is glorious

[@NoMaidens183]

Just job security for psychiatrists had to laughing my head off.

[@BENgalFan1369]

3:23 why does it sound like a puppy getting shanked?

[@chesh05]

"Would you believe me if I said my day was worse..?" No, I don't think he would! lmfao

[@rubenasandwich2842]

Bruh imagine pulling a Job and you're in the house but then police surround the house to kill the target instead

[@mjolnir3309]

Well, you've finally done it... Since you play all the characters you've gone and effed yourself. Which, presumably, you've been told to do a few time in your life.

[@anonymousviewer7852]

It’s the higher tone of voice from the horror that makes those scenes all the more hilarious 😭

[@eidkristo6107]

as a proffesional hitman I can confirm everything is exactly like that on my first few tries

[@oddity_ghost]

I KEEP REPLAYING THAT SCREAM WHEN HE KILLS THE OTHER GUY- 3:23

[@Demomanflower]

Came in unabled and welling to be a hitman Came out disabled and unwelling to be a hitman

[@MB-eb9ed]

That whole bedroom spying thing is how Sid’s room felt as a kid watching Toy Story

[@daviddow3705]

I can confirm this is still just as funny even after rewatching it like 50 times

[@IronFistGamingCSGO]

As a hitman I can confirm all of this is so true its scary.

[@Saintchronicles]

Think we just saw this man on the news in New York recently

[@rat.cheese]

I wonder if Zach is willing and able to like this comment

[@Respear]

You wouldn't know, it only shows when the comment is hearted.

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

Nah, he only hearted it.

[@rat.cheese]

@@-WMD-Edutainment seems better

[@mycastephens4987]

I wonder if this bit will ever die.

[@Doombot-z5e]

@@mycastephens4987no the joke isn’t able and willing to die

[@KarlRF_]

Zach promise me you'll never stop doing skits, and even please do more! I have watched them all at least 3x, they're so good. My favorite is F*ck boy confessionals, absolute genius, when is the sequal? 🙏

[@HolloWolf35]

Ditto

[@HolloWolf35]

My favorite is the lanuage and the leprechaun

[@CrueI_Klng]

Relatable AF. Love the small details you put in too.

[@metriacantho]

bro the way that the hit man is just staring with that face (0:47) all the time kills me 💀

[@ashwilliams8876]

I'd suggest he play The Hitman games but he'd probably f*** that up too. 😂

[@venator5421]

47 circles of hell

[@GospelBearer]

I for one have to say, there couldn't have been much better of a video to honor the month of June.

[@ReaIHuman]

This needs to become a TV show.

[@morrisonscott1139]

Agent 47's learning days

[@federicoae7671]

This guy is really willing and able to shoot anybody

[@JannPoo]

Plot twist: in the job with the husband and the wife, the wife was the customer that wanted her husband dead before he found out about her cheating.

[@chrisjackson1889]

2:44 after what happened in the bedroom, I can actually believe that 😂

[@pepejr10king]

Agent47 was in vacation. Diana had to call Zach74 to replace him

[@3gou]

A hitman being traumatized by gay sex has got to be the best part of this whole thing 😂

[@ivdrip-r2r]

The delivery and pace of this sketch makes no fucking sense and it's just so good. This guy is the Norm McDonald's of KZbin Sketches

[@ronaldgraham3832]

So did anyone notice he moved to the end of the bench at 0:25

[@matthewjohnson6886]

I needed that comedy genius in my hangover recovery. Thank you Zach.

[@DavidODonovan-rj3si]

You are truly one of the best comedian's I've seen. Well done.

[@BerylliumBronze]

He was hired to assassinate diddy