when the Wizard discovers war crimes in D&D

wait hol up

[@DnDShorts]

dON't wOrRy GUyS it'S OnLy A SPidEr!

[@moon_commenter..]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

But, Spooders are SOOO Cute, and cuddly!

[@bigswordlittleman3770]

​@@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith aww look at little sparky He just wants a hug.

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

Remember, what the players can do, the NPCs can do

[@kaledaX01]

I did this with a squirrel once in a campaign; everyone insisted it's name be changed to Raichu

[@matthewkukowski4638]

Imagine you're a town guard and a little spider crawls on your leg and you think it's cute so you just let it sit there, and suddenly you get Plane Shifted to the Nine Hells

[@anonymouse2675]

Just make sure you negotiated a 'finders fee' beforehand... Might as well get some magic items to sell.

[@matthewbunting9890]

1st sending a town guard to the Nine hells.. bit harsh and over kill in most cases.. 2nd pretty sure that'd send your spider familiar along to the nine hells as well, so be a bit of a bugger to get it back after.

[@Melina_Evarblume_Seelie]

​@@matthewbunting9890 Tell me you are acoustic without telling me you are acoustic.

[@pal1d1nl1ght]

​@@matthewbunting9890 planeshift doesn't send the caster. The spider is fine.

[@lucasramey6427]

​@@matthewbunting9890you could just send it to the familiar pocket dimension then summon it next to you literally just two actions

[@WillRennar]

I cast _Find Familiar._ "Alright. What kind of familiar are you summoning?" A Joltik.

[@Werewolfoverlord12]

I cackled inside my head. XD

[@user-kw9xw2qz5c]

Yes

[@livelygrind]

"Wait when tf did this become pokemon? My Town Guard is weak to electric types!"

[@wwzombieslayr]

The mix of nostalgia and ptsd whilst reading this, a lot of my pokemon teams consist of water, bug, and air types

[@All-Z-Penguins]

Not trying to be rude but everyone always forgets Joltik is a tick. Joke was still good though 👍

[@trumanlyons4225]

Man forget shocking grasp, what about finger of death? A whole room watches a king drop dead in the middle of his speech, his body suddenly collapsing-mid sentence

[@leonardorolingstella8554]

Actually, the Find Familiar spells only works through a range of Touch, and Finger of Deayh has a range of 60 feet

[@cultofnatethemagnificent5879]

Harm :3

[@TheEquestrianGallade]

Oh no, a roaming… *checks notes* …cantrip.

[@creativi-tea398]

Which can be cast an unlimited number of times per day....

[@pptemplar5840]

​@@creativi-tea398This is literally less broken than a rogue's normal abilities in most cases.

[@pptemplar5840]

And the situations where it is better than an arcane trickster rogue simply, playing the game like normal are so narrow that you could realistically just let them have it, hell the guard can probably just smack a spider, he will definitely know where it is after it lights up like a bug zapper, and it's not like the spider has a high AC or HP, wow, you essentially just pranked a guard with a joy buzzer and it only cost 10gp in material and 1 hour of prep time.

[@solosynapse]

Because 1st level faceless minions have SO much HP, cantrips don't kill enemies on the regular, cantrips certainly don't have scaling damage, and this trick can't be used after the enemy has already taken damage... Oh wait.

[@pptemplar5840]

@@solosynapse "1st level" faceless NPCs have have whatever HP the DM gives them, actually a non-issue, and they have no levels in the first place unless the DM gives them class levels If the party is going around fighting "1st level" NPCs, they probably aren't high enough level for scaling damage to matter, and if they ARE high enough level, it is still less than a rogue throwing a knife and combat with the "1st level" NPC would be entirely trivial. And if the NPC has already taken damage, then the upside of this silly trick is worthless, the upside is stealth, not damage output. Also there is absolutely nothing stopping the DM from saying "roll stealth for the spider", the spider STILL needs to be on a guard, and not get stepped on, like a lot of spiders would be, in the process, it being a smaller size doesn't change it's stats. In summary this is a silly trick, almost nothing, may come up once in a game, and broken in no way shape or form.

[@grimm2480]

And if they're in full armour, they won't be able to feel the spider crawling up their armour for any chance of swatting it away...

[@DnDShorts]

at half a millimeter big yeah there's no way you'd feel it. I mean, you could have a spider on you right now and never know :))

[@HeroG9000]

@@DnDShortsshut up shut up shut up don’t curse us with Shrodingers spider

[@steveomac385]

​@@DnDShorts nice lol

[@campbellcollins1396]

AAAAAHHHHHHH TINY SPIDERS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

[@jonp8015]

Occasional rolls just out of the blue to see if the spider gets pinched by joints in the armor, brushed off accidentally or discovered and smashed intentionally.

[@jloving70]

"You are a wizard, YOU are the broken thing." Best line ever.

[@JnEricsonx]

:::Caleb Widogast is nodding in agreement::

[@jaimetheone9150]

My wizard's damage output begs to differ.

[@xcentric_gaming9264]

Dies of 1d4 existing damage

[@RodneyG669]

It's less about a wizard discovering war crimes and more him realizing he is the war crime.

[@jonathanblanton9446]

To be fair, the wizard wasn't *seriously* broken until he started watching DnDShorts.

[@sticksbender4057]

To be fair, if you one-shot a guard with shocking grasp, it was understrength and irrelevant anyways.

[@creativi-tea398]

It's a cantrip that can be cast an unlimited number of times per day.... So it can shock anything indefinitely...

[@hund7458]

additionally, the interesting thing about this is that you can do it from such a distance away. you can hold up in a building, send out your spider, and shock someone. how's anyone going to trace it back to you?

[@gyorgyor7765]

With a feat, almost any spellcasting class can do this.

[@unfortunaterabbit5900]

Real Spiders: *Produces lethal venom.* D&D Spiders: *"Its wizard time, Motherfucker! F I R E B A L L!"*

[@mikesands4681]

Fireball is not a touch spell

[@thomasfoster7387]

@@mikesands4681 not with that attitude it isn't

[@Damini368]

@@mikesands4681I might be mistaken, but I feel like there’s a meta magic for that

[@Sens249]

@@Damini368you’re mistaken. What you’re probably thinking about is distant spell which lets you turn touch spells into spells with a 30 ft range

[@Chase_Sparrow3337]

Lethal venom would be poison (I'm wrong, but right, thats a lazy explanation), and they generally can't affect humans.

[@GameDev_TTV]

You are a wizard, you are the broken thing.. 😂

[@jennaherman3859]

My thoughts exactly! 😂😂😂

[@zictruswow]

*dies of 1d4 hurt feelings damage*

[@fjdoucet1465]

Relateable

[@Reinshark]

It’s great how KZbin’s subscribe button and video description cover up all of the captions on the lower half of your video. Great design as always, KZbin developers!

[@MrZxAlan]

0.4mm is pulled out of nowhere. Spider is a tiny creature, occupies 2.5x2.5ft area, which makes it fairly visible. Most of dnd "smart" strategies come from ignoring the rules

[@heavygaming1167]

well yes, but most spiders (not tarantulas) in real life are around a centimeter in size, 2 if you're pushing it

[@agentchaos9332]

* Adds idea to Drow NPC tactics😊 "Why am I getting electrocuted by random spiders?" Because you pissed off Lolth

[@Ryu_D]

It helps that that is legitimately something Lolth would do. Though I'm not sure if it'd be because she's angry at someone, or because it amuses her. Also, I know she'd never say this, but I can't help but imagine her doing this while saying, "Heheh, male go brrrr." I just realized that it's past 2am, so I might just be getting a bit loopy from staying up too late. Sorry for the nonsense. G'night. Zzzzz.

[@spicysalad3013]

@@Ryu_D no no, they've got a point...

[@Studio_salesmen]

Aaand, now you have a deep fried spider.

[@hyzmarie]

Lol this is terrifying

[@miloslye8464]

I would definitely get a meeting with the king, warn him that a disease is making people spontaneously combust, and then as I speak with him about offering my services, do that to a nearby guard so he knows it’s serious.

[@DUNGEONCRAFT1]

Ended my workweek with a serious belly laugh. Thank you.

[@Melina_Evarblume_Seelie]

DM: "So, guys... the main villains became druids for some reason and don't wear armor anymore. Idk, I don't make the rules"

[@muntuku]

That spider is small enough to crawl through the paranasal sinuses and directly into the brain, so...

[@Merilirem]

@@muntuku sure but trust me, you notice that.

[@muntuku]

@@Merilirem Maybe. But if it went through the lacrimal gland instead, probably not. No nerves or hairs there.

[@xenoshadow7575]

player: “but you're the DM you quite literally make the rules 🗿”

[@arekpetrosian4965]

@@muntuku You are evil. You know that, right?

[@OspreyKnight]

Guard spiders. Not big ones, little ones for dealing with this shit. Your wizard wants to do this. We bring things down to the spider's scale. It becomes an epic quest in its own right. Crawling through the labyrinth of cobblestones and dark grass forests.

[@alycat24ab24]

Dungeon Master I Shrunk the Kids? Shrunk the Guards? I think you're on to something!! 🧡

[@Grigeral]

Way to grind something in combat down to a total halt to punish the player for doing something that's literally intended by the design of the spell... It's a cantrip, it ain't gonna do shit to 90% and the enemy can squash it next turn...

[@OspreyKnight]

​@@Grigeral Explain your reasoning? Not for me, I understand why you think that. I want you to understand why you think that and hopefully pull your head out of your ass and see the big wide world beyond stats and hit tables. I don't know you, I don't know your playstyle. If its not your thing its not your thing, thats fine. Shit like this would and has absolutely hit with my players as long as I didn't go too into the weeds with it.

[@Grigeral]

@@OspreyKnight I mean, aside from sounding like a total asshat right there... So congrats on that... 1 - The wizard is the only person that would reasonably be involved unless you intentionally set up a mini-adventure to serve the purpose. 2 - Setting up a mini-adventure to serve the purpose of involving everyone, puts a pause on the literal free-flowing combat in order to pull this stunt off. 3 - Alternatively, perhaps you have this vision that the fight will continue, the little dude will be off on his way, the wizard will carry on doing their thing and it culminates in some epic drop of a big spell. Which sure it 'might' in certain scenarios. However in 99.9% of the situations, the wizard will have sent the familiar where they want ahead of the party going in, making this entire thing pointless. It can provide a cool adventure as a one use thing, yes. But you're better off actually creating the adventure 'around' the idea and coming up with something specific for it, like a spell gone wrong or some other thing. TL;DR - It sounds like an infamous anime filler episode lol.

[@Grigeral]

@@OspreyKnight also for the record, I'm not opposed to off the cuff stuff and I haven't looked at tables or charts for this game in about 10 years. My table tends to focus more on the roleplay element than the hard combat, combat is simply a method of delivery, so I tend to not let it get too bogged down unless there's a reason.

[@AkumaOmni581]

Quick way of dealing with this, make the wizard have to fight a crocodile or something in a swamp with no dry land

[@lesly_1234]

Theirs water spider that float on the water

[@josephmckenna2125]

Get that slide inside the body and cast the most kamikaze type spell you can

[@mariobartolini2158]

Correction, when the wizards Discovery NEW warcrimes

[@aaronfender8784]

As the fat electrician would say "It's not a War Crime the first time"

[@Просто_Иван]

I think 90% of war crimes made by wizard

[@StainTheMenace]

Plot twist: the wizard is Canadian, and this is not his first time inventing war crimes.

[@artbrann]

imagine the geese familiars

[@snidecommenter7117]

@@artbrann Cobra chickens.

[@user-sc5bq9yb1x]

YOU ARE A WIZARD,”BREATHES IN”, YOU ARE THE BROKEN THING!!!

[@hamptonbrown6118]

At level one with a cantrip! It gets funnier at level three if you learn dragons breath and have a hawk familiar. MINI DRAGON!

[@andano4055]

A friend of mine is starting a campaign and we’re going to start at level 10. I may not be a wizard but I’m a Bard at 7 and put 3 into warlock pact of the chain (so I can summon a familiar) and I am immediately bringing this to my DMs attention because I know he can let me have SO much fun with this

[@BJNemeth]

After a Druid Wildshaped into a Flea in one of our campaigns, our group has ruled that Wildshape and familiars can't be smaller than a large rat, small cat, etc. Being super tiny is just too overpowered for too many things.

[@jag519]

Yeah, a 1mm spider wont be able to carry off a baby, like the statblock spider can (2 str), so I'd assume it's a 1ft large bird eater type spider. haha. Also, with an avg of 14 stealth, it probably could work, but some guards might have a 14 passive perception to notice it, and crawling on someone the dm would probably even give a perception check if 14 beats their passive. Most people would squash a spider they don't expect to be there.

[@DrPluton]

I don’t think you can get below tiny size anyway. Mouse size is fine, but most insects are too small.

[@Ruiso7]

​@@DrPluton that is for monsters as it would be unfair to fight something smaller even though it they would die very fast, but if your world has normal insects then that, the smallest is Tiny excuse, makes no sense...

[@jag519]

@@DrPluton Tiny is 1ft and smaller.

[@BJNemeth]

@@DrPlutonI don't see anything in the rules about any size restrictions. And "tiny" is the smallest size class in D&D 5e anyway, so technically there are no creatures smaller than tiny. No matter how small you are, you're still technically "tiny."

[@NecklineArmada]

I just took a level of wizard tonight and realized this EXACT THING while looking at spells. And you can hide it in a pocket dimension until you want to do this. Also the shenanigans that catapult allows for... Chef's kiss.

[@wolfofmagdalene92]

or combo the spiders with an archers arrow.

[@roysimmsjr.6982]

Um... you have to hand deliver that spider to the guard, getting within weapon range, or it will take half the day for that spider to get to the guard one hundred feet away.

[@snidecommenter7117]

With a speed of 20? Buuut... Spiders are 'tiny'. So about the size of a mouse?

[@roysimmsjr.6982]

@@snidecommenter7117 I know it is a fantasy game, but a speed of 20 stretches credulity to me.

[@adamxue6096]

@@roysimmsjr.6982 Real life spiders can be pretty fast, if we are to be a little bit less picky So the fastest spider currently today is a spider known as Morocan Flic-Flac, it's top speed can reach 1.7m/s, or, nearly 6ft per second, arguably, this apparently is very exhausting for the spider and only used when escaping predators, but ofc, this is our familiar, which is a spirit taking animal form. Considering that the usual way is 6s per turn, this means that the real life spider, basically using a dash action, can traverse nearly 34 feet, in a turn. So in a fantasy world, it's not entirely out of the question that, a spirit that ofc, can exert its animal body with less care for energy consumption, to be able to traverse 40ft per round, assuming its using dash. So, yes, it's entirely reasonable, considering real lifes fastest spider, at the very least. Now, the catch is, Spider size in DnD is just "Tiny", which doesn't actually mean a lot, it's pretty much the highest bar for everything smaller than a certain size. The issue here is that the half millimeter spider, will, well, likely not have the same 20ft movement. Because it is absolutely tiny, too bad little is known abt the smallest spider irl which is actually 0.46mm, so a half milli spider does exist, it just probably don't have the speed of 20ft. Arguably, by this point, if you are the DM you could and should consider modifying on the spider block to make it make more sense for the specific specie or general size and attribute of the spider, just don't be a douche about it, like, if you want to be a half millimeter sized spider, you are gonna have only like 10ft of movement instead of 20. Remember that traversing the terrains as a creature this tiny also have its own woes too, want to make it less free? Well, just happenstance a random bug you fancy on the way which is now the dark souls boss of this little adventure for your wizard or druid trying this sorta thing, doesn't need to be actually hard ofc. Not a fan of one bug? Small army of fleee, two worker ants smelling extra food, you can make up a lot of little things for this. For the player, there's no particular reason why to not make them slightly bigger, which would be actually normal spider sized and even by real life standards have about like 10ft normal movement per turn speed, which the fantasy world def can easily extrapolate it to fantasy spiders move at "20ft"

[@roysimmsjr.6982]

@@adamxue6096 Okay, well researched and well reasoned out. You converted me into a spider believer. A spirit being in spider form would not have the physical limitations of a prime material plane spider. However, I would like to suggest the wasp familiar as an alternative, lol.

[@adamxue6096]

@@roysimmsjr.6982 See, a wasp will likely be much more alerting and they will likely try to shoo it away, however, a bumblebee is usually known to be much less aggressive and people might think it doesn't even sting, which is a perfect opportunity to cash in on >:D

[@Wyrbender]

Have fun waiting an hour for the spider to get in place every time.

[@cjlite0210]

Joltik You just made Joltik But like a hundred times more violent XD

[@lenlimbo]

Eh, dunno about that. The pokémon world is CRAZY.

[@kenziebalhatchet]

@@lenlimboso more like jolted but with the want to murder, like most or all arachnids

[@WillRennar]

Wholesome Edition: The wizard's familiar scouts ~40 feet ahead with its superior senses and finds a small object like a rock. The wizard casts the _Light_ cantrip through it, giving the party a lit path, no torches required.

[@robertnett9793]

Oh :D That's a cool idea. Mind if I ... borrow it for a friend?

[@nikephoros9297]

Hey, finally someone more interested in cool combinations and teamwork rather than stupid combat exploits!

[@foogod4237]

I actually really like this one. Could actually be used for all sorts of other things, like peering into dark areas without having to go inside (or where the opening is too small, etc), or used as a distraction, etc..

[@therealx2907]

Me as a paladin: I LIVE IN SPAIN WITHOUT THE A Everyone else:So you live in spi- *SPINNING GAREN-STYLE INTENSIFIES*

[@Gortemtheeserf]

“ oh that’s that’s so fun let me just write something down” *all enemies have rubber skin*

[@hasofolafagussugafalofosh8571]

To balance this. The spider has to roll not to get eaten while it's traveling to it's victim

[@PrinceMeNb1]

It also most likely has an abysmal moving speed.. from the moment you send it towards the guard until it gets there the guard is already at lunch break

[@lookatmeloony]

@@PrinceMeNb1 Some spiders can move at up to 10 miles per hour. The human average walking speed being at 3mph... there is no escaping the doom spider.

[@EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE737]

I did not need the image of a spider running after someone at 3 times the person's speed in my head at all​@@lookatmeloony

[@DamnDaimen]

I bet those speedy spiders aren't .4 mm in size.

[@zikli9249]

Well the built in balance is that a spider only has a +4 to stealth, and any group of guards can most certainly spot it.

[@darcraven01]

if you are a mark of healing halfling, cure wounds is added to your spell list. you can then place your tiny spider familiar on an ally and cast healing wounds through it for a ranged cure wounds. at lvl 18 you can turn a 1st and 2nd wizard spell basically into a cantrip, casting them without spell slots (spell mastery). since mark of healing adds cure wounds to your spell list, it is a wizard spell and can be selected for spell mastery. you can now cast it without a spell slot through your familiar on the target as many times as you'd like.

[@scottclowe]

No, this doesn't work. [Edit: I was wrong] Signature spell is only for "wizard spells in yoir spellbook", and the Mark of Healing subrace feature "you can cast the Cure Wounds spell with this trait" doesn't add the spell to your class spell list, so it still isn't a Wizard spell. You dont even "know the spell", it's just something you can cast once per day.

[@darcraven01]

@@scottclowe and thats where you're wrong, mate Spells of the Mark. If you have the Spellcasting or Pact Magic class features, the spells on the Mark of Healing Spells table are added to the spell list of your spellcasting class. Mark of Healing Spells Spell Level Spell 1st Cure Wounds, Healing Word 2nd Lesser Restoration, Prayer of Healing 3rd Aura of Vitality, Mass Healing Word 4th Aura of Purity, Aura of Life 5th Greater Restoration

[@scottclowe]

@@darcraven01 Ah okay, I didn't read the last section. So you are right that they are on the spell list of your spellcasting class (Wizard). So if you take the Mark of Healing Halfling subrace, Cure Wounds is added to your Spell List and at level-up for level 3 you can learn the "Wizard Spell" Cure Wounds as one of your two free spells added to your spellbook. Now any other wizard who reads your spellbook can spend 4h and 100gp to copy the "Wizard Spell" Cure Wounds into their own spellbook, which they can prepare and cast. So you don't even need to be a Mark of Healing Halfling to do this trick, you just need to have met a Mark of Healing Halfling Wizard, or have met a wizard who met a met a Mark of Healing Halfling Wizard who copied in into their spellbook... etc.

[@darcraven01]

@@scottclowe that is technically correct but im pretty sure its far easier to just be one than to try to convince your dm to allow you to meet one who is a wizard and willing to copy/sell you the spell scrolls (even less so for an npc to just let you look at their spell book) though if there are multiple wizards in the party and ones mark of healing... =D but anywho, yeah mark of healing is fun to abuse. lol

[@jmvbento]

You can also take one of a few backgrounds from Strixhaven for this.

[@MaybeAnnatar]

Now I'm just imagining people in that world being REALLY afraid of spiders any time they see them.

[@Hac-dieu]

The DM now gives guards shocked this way magical spider themed powers. You will later be pursued by web casting, spider guardsmen.

[@Bejrika]

So you’re saying the spider is a 4 millimeter defeater?

[@AnchorJG]

This week's QWRP-line is sponsored by:

[@WillRennar]

Sounds like a title for the next Underrated But Awesome Multiclass video.

[@gilgameshdevourerofworldsg4101]

2 sessions later the paladin spontaneously drops to the ground in a burst of electricity, a wizard from a rivaling school had heard of what the wizard did and decided to give them a taste of their own medicine.

[@rubenlarochelle1881]

YEY! It's so fun DnDShorts finally made a video about a broken mechanic that I had already found out by myself, and I'm not even used to the DnD manual!

[@Admiral_tintin]

Burning hands be another one that comes to mind like flaming grasp, or corrosive touch.

[@kenhouston814]

Slight change. Have on an ally, cast Dragons breath on the tank

[@foogod4237]

Yeah, but in that situation, why not just do it directly yourself? (Might be useful in rare situations where you need to do that but can't physically touch them for some reason (but are still within 100 feet of them)...)

[@kenhouston814]

@@foogod4237 allows me to stay back farther. Used my owl to deliver touch spells to the frontliners all the time. Let my squishy ass stay well back.

[@animefan3794]

This brings back memories. Specifically, around the time that out of the abyss came out, of someone I was in a party with who was playing as a fiend pact warlock, pact of the chain. He pulled this exact trick, by having his imp familiar polymorph into a spider and hide underneath the armor of the guy we were fighting. Didn’t auto-kill the guy, but sure as heck was hard for him to swat the spider through his own breastplate

[@IanAnimatesBagels]

"Hey DM? Why does every guard have a can of RAID now?"

[@X-SPONGED]

"Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds" _- Rutherford G. Ulfpenheiser, Grandmaster Wizard of the S-Bomb project_

[@DragonicTerror]

Stop drop and roll the anti electric spider boogaloo 😆

[@jackzx13]

Already done this as an Eldritch Knight. Was a bartender, decided to spend some downtime to work at a tavern. One of the customers got roudy, so I went to talk him down. He refused and got violent, so my spider familiar got on the guy's shoulder and I kept casting shocking grasp on him through my spider whenever he attacked. From everyone's perspective, I never laid a finger on the guy.

[@snidecommenter7117]

Well, technically you didn't.

[@gggooodddyyy]

So everyone present just ignored the verbal and somatic components to the spell? Gee this guy is getting shocked and the barkeep is speaking arcane words and waving his hands around, can’t be him! 😂

[@darkfire8008]

​@@gggooodddyyy Subtle spell and rule of cool

[@gggooodddyyy]

@@darkfire8008 Eldritch Knight doesn’t get subtle spell. I’m all for fun stories like this, and different tables run the game differently, but often it leads to confusion from less experienced players when they join a group using “standard rules”, which is why I note the RAW

[@jackzx13]

@@gggooodddyyy In my defence, I was still rather new at that time and my DM didn't bring up that point either. Though you are completely right about it. A sorcerer would had been better for it with Subtle Spell.

[@NoAh-iz4ec]

Tye equivalent of "i cast SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION"

[@walkermcmullin8665]

DM, next session: “So a horde of spiders rolls around the corner”

[@Battleguild]

Seeing that Find Familiar specifically points out the Spider statblock, and that creature has a reach of 5ft, I'd be inclined to rule that the Spider has to be of a reasonable size in order for it to be a Familiar. In this case, probably the size of a small dinner plate or a fully grown Tarantula.

[@RoninXDarknight]

Every creature has a size listed on the stat block. Spiders are "tiny" which translates to 1-2 feet. That said they are also proficient in stealth so this is solved with a stealth roll against the target's passive perception.

[@TwistedFox42]

Yeah. In 5e, tiny means they take up a 2.5ft x 2.5ft cube according to the PHB pg 191. About the size of a cat. Even if they have advantage on stealth, I expect that a spider the size of a cat crawling on you would be easy enough to notice.

[@crystalthunderheart8895]

I have seen very fast spiders As wide as a doorknob but as flat as a wrinkly plastic bag, and just as flexible.

[@imissnewspapers]

“You’re a Wizard, You Are the Broken Thing.” 😂

[@grimtygranule5125]

Detect magic: "oh someone is doing the tazer spider trick, call the queens elite magic guard."

[@creativi-tea398]

Now to make a Wizard cult of spider worship and have a roaming cluster of tiny shock spiders.

[@ericpeterson8732]

Can i just say how much I enjoy your avant guarde wardrobe in this videos?

[@KojiroNoGanryu]

I like contagion and bestow curse. One hell of a spider bite.

[@09Dragonite]

No one can resist a sweet little kitty cat wandering up to rub your leg...

[@McHaletheScott]

"ohh that's. So fun!" You can hear the eye twitching

[@gyletre675]

Inflict wounds at lvl 9 for instant death

[@1mariomaniac]

Just imagine though a tiny 0.4mm spider crawls onto the back of a guy in full plate and deals 11d10 necrotic damage effectively decomposing them on the spot. Wizards are f'ing scary. 😆

[@sokesamurai]

Or the spider climbs inside the armor and you cast Dragon's Breath. Then it's whatever flavor of horror you want, like them melting from acid.

[@foogod4237]

Dragon's Breath can only be cast on a _willing_ target, so it can't be cast on an enemy (unless for some reason they want you to). It also only grants the _ability,_ the target would still have the choice whether to use it or not. You could cast Dragon's Breath on the spider, but then it still can't actually attack, so it wouldn't really be able to _use_ the ability for any offensive actions...

[@InternetSyndicate]

​@@foogod4237this wouldn't be considered an attack. Attacking is talking about taking the attack action. This is using a buff/spell put on it which in game terms is not considered an attack. Doubly since you are not making a melee or ranged spell attack you're forcing a target to make a save

[@immortaldestruction4072]

Spider between the plates and padding just shocking repeatedly

[@drost47]

I had an octopus familiar in an underwater game (I think I was a merfolk of some variety) and I discovered this with shocking grasp, burning touch, etc, and it's stealth bonus, reach, and speed.

[@frigidfirefilms6147]

As the DM make the majority of your guards scared of spiders. They then kill any spider they see

[@DeNorali]

0.4 mm = 1/64 inch. It is barely visible, if we go by logic.

[@frigidfirefilms6147]

Fair, but you are the DM in this hypothetical situation. Make the spider bigger. Do everything in your power to subjugate your players and force them to acknowledge your authority. You must, for you are the DM.

[@foogod4237]

@@frigidfirefilms6147 True, it is worth noting that the rules for Find Familiar do not actually say that the player has any control over the size of the familiar which is summoned...

[@blkgardner]

It's not really overpowered 1. The spider's size is NOT set by the player 2. The wizard needs to be within 100' feet and do the verbal and somatic parts of the spell. 3. Find familiar costs 10 GP and 1 hour. There are ways the spider could die, or the wizard could be noticed. For reference, a level 1 wood elf with a longbow can fire from 150' away and hide in slightly obscured foliage with a +7 in stealth, doing 1d8 + 3 damage, instead of 1d8.

[@nonamegiven202]

a oldie but a goodie

[@ItsGoopinTime]

"It just so happens to be that all 80 guards in the city all have a magical anti-spider barrier since their so scared of them"

[@darkphantom2274]

The wizard now doesn't have to worry about being killed

[@void-creature]

Name the spider familiar "Killer Queen" for.... Reasons.

[@easiestcc6451]

KILLA QUEEN DAISAN NO BAKIDAN BITES ZA DUSTO

[@js3093]

1. Tiny is not that small. 2. Shocking grasp still has spellcomponents. You might stand right there but you are obviously spellcasting within a 100 feet of someone getting "magically" electrocuted. So far from being stealthy in any shape or form.

[@saccherrirhysha2660]

Well Charlotte, that's another fine web you've gotten us into.

[@antonio-dn1ey]

This man has a lumberjack beard and i love him for that

[@joycegoates1855]

My new favorite combo in dnd is telepathy and gift of gab. This also works for any other spell with a vocal component. I use gift of gab to make someone forget what Vocal component I used, so they dont know I'm reading their surface thoughts. I bet you could do this with a bunch of other bard spells too. Its awesome!

[@lordraven009]

I would rather for this this 0.5mm spider crawl into one of the enemies' ear and deliver fireball from there

[@SirStanleytheStumbler]

Range of touch spells only.

[@BJNemeth]

@@SirStanleytheStumblerAnd since you have to be within 100 feet anyway, that's already within range of the Fireball spell, so it would be a pointless extra step.

[@SirStanleytheStumbler]

@@BJNemeth exactly

[@frantisekvrana3902]

@@BJNemeth If it was allowed, it would be useful for subterfuge. If you fire a Fireball, a bright orange bead flies from you to the place where it will explode. But if you used a spider in someone's ear, then you don't even need to be in line of sight. And as far as anyone still alive can tell, that guy just randomly exploded.

[@xievisthedragon]

I knew my unnatural fear of spiders would work to my advantage one day.

[@dakotafrazier2985]

I love watching these types of videos 😂 if i ever play DnD ill make the DM want to commit war crimes on the rest of my party 💀

[@archam777]

Lol, I've made a special rule set in my campaigns just because of this channel. It states, "Any broken thing that your character can do, that seems like they shouldn't be able to do it..... BUT can because of the rules as stated in the DnD rulebook do not restrict the specific action, the gods (the DM) stop it from happening". I know that totally makes me a "party pooper", but the game has actually become way more focused on "the story and playing the game" rather than my players coming up with crazy stupid shit that breaks it.

[@Mad_Skeletron]

Instead of stopping them, you should give the ability to do the same broken thing to some enemies

[@nikephoros9297]

@@Mad_Skeletron As a DM, I'd rather not get my players Instantly killed by some BS rule loophole. If the enemies can do it, they're probably a lot better at it as they have more resources, and no one wants to fight a lich with infinite simulacri.

[@j.margenat]

Don`t worry man, per rules this only works within 100 ft. You still have to cast the spell (so people will see you casting) and it has 1 hp while costing 10 gp. Chill touch does the same, within 120 ft and deals a better type of dmg.

[@almondsai7214]

That's totally fair, and what I believe most players would want. DnD isn't about breaking the game in stupid ways to most people. You don't even have to say the gods did it, just say that they can't.

[@CanisMythson]

The best one is casting Dragon's Breath on your familiar, it can take the action associated with the spell.

[@creativi-tea398]

Get it to crawl inside the guards helmet 😂

[@jamescooper2825]

Best part is, the spider doesnt even have to crawl... Gotta love jetstream money spiders with shocking grasp

[@southpawfrenzy]

Oh yeah, I did that with a peregrine falcon familiar. Having that thing dive out of the sky at 320 km/h (200mph) to deliver a touch attack on an unsuspecting victim was awesome. Plus being able to see through my familiar's senses was incredible too.

[@mikeyfox2299]

*party patiently waits 10 rounds while the tiny spider crawls to the victim* 🤣

[@thenobledarkshinobi5457]

The 1d4 waiting for the moment: Tis time i unleash my greatest asset, AGONY

[@Aaackermann]

Two kind of playing groups: Storytellers and powergamers.

[@T0NI_]

This is where you get that “trope” (not the right word but close enough) of guards and goons killing any critter they see on sight for some ungodly reason. Or kicking cats, things like that

[@cherezabotterman9433]

Imagin an army of tiny spider familiers you could make an entier kingdom disapear in a single night.

[@coltonstewart8698]

The wizard had a stealth mission coming up in a public place. 😂

[@einar_476]

Make your familiar a gnat, equally small and it flies.

[@Gong4Lunch]

"You are the broken thing" Fugg I love magic

[@RobertoMartinez-ym5pu]

This is the representation on how a creative wizard is stronger that one that knows every spell

[@MrH4nky]

"You're wizard. You are a broken thing" *Wizard dies from 1d4 proud damage*

[@patchworkgolem]

And golf is an excellent conductor that kings tend to wear on their heads 😂😂

[@G4mer_D4d]

*waits 3 hours for the spider to makes its epic journey around the corner*

[@fangthedergon1863]

One of my favorite characters was a pathfinder investigator that could cast extracts at a range of 25ft + 5ft per 2 lvs. And one of my favorite moves was to cast vomit swarm (typically self range) and cast it on an enemy that doesn't get a save and vomits up a swarm of insects that I then have control over. It's not really busted, but very fun to roleplay with.

[@IRandomness]

The BBEG now has a million tiny spiders and they are all *ready.*

[@waldowaggins1330]

“If you use that every enemy wizard will too”

[@jamesvivian2855]

Every guard in the realms would spontaneously develop a localised anti-magic field if I tried this at my old DMs table

[@darthbishop5973]

"You are the wizard, you are the broken thing" The pebble waiting to trip him for 1d4 damage:

[@88Spint]

first session: "Roll do avoid getting stepped on!"

[@kerbethegodkiller2914]

Now you gave me an idea for a wizard rogue

[@poorlymadeartist7593]

“The spider is too weak to hold all of the magic inside of it”

[@Liammoustachio]

A reverse electric chair, the spider sits on you and zaps you

[@sublis939]

Makes spider cast fireball inside someone’s armour. Just see a person explode from inside his armour making a huge bloody mess.

[@Yourbeautiful666]

*Smacks Arm* “Weird itch” - Guard “😵” - Spider

[@thecoolestcorgi4991]

Dragons breath spell on the find familiar owl is so op. Burning hands every turn