When Your S.O. Has a Different Vocation Than You

“You are not an extra in someone else’s vocation story.”
We all know breakups are tough, and most of the time they are occasions of intense sadness and hurt, but what happens when your significant other breaks up with you for the religious life? Do you feel angry that they didn’t realize their vocation sooner, guilty for wanting to be with them, or just sad that you’re not who they’re meant to be with? Reactions to this kind of heartbreak are unpredictable, but the important thing to remember is that you have a vocation of your own, and it’s not any less important than the person entering religious life.
Today, Father Mike shares his story of leaving a relationship to enter the seminary.
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[@summermajor3461]

my boyfriend broke up with me on sunday to discern the seminary... crazy awesome timing with this video

[@DarkAngel-cj6sx]

I hope you are doing fine

[@summermajor3461]

@@DarkAngel-cj6sx i’m doing okay! great for the kingdom but hard on my heart. in the end i’m happy he has found what God is calling him to, and i understand this is his vocation, and i am on the way to discovering mine:)

[@DarkAngel-cj6sx]

@@summermajor3461 May God strengthen your heart. You made me cry, you are so understanding.

[@omgpawla]

My fiancé did the same, even though he isn’t quite sure if God is truly calling him to do it he is going to try. All I can do is pray that God guides him to whatever purpose He has planned for him.

[@juice2307]

Honestly wish he chose anything but the Jesuits...

[@marytygett4189]

My daughter in law waited patiently for 4 years for my son to discern . They’re having their 5th child on May 13th ! God is awesome! Great talk Father ! Love it 🙏🌹

[@aegisreflector2725]

As painful as it was to learn that the woman I had a crush on entered the convent, I believe the experience is helping me to love more like Christ. Instead of being overly concerned with my desire for her, I'm learning to find joy in helping her in any way that I can and putting her well being first, as she is still the kind and intelligent woman I admired from the start... She has helped me to grow stronger in my faith along the way, and though painful, I know the experience will make me into a better man for where God is calling me to be. Thanks, Fr. Mike!

[@aegisreflector2725]

@Brian Boru Indeed...

[@alejandragonzalezperez7161]

Be sure you don't fall more in love in the way there, in my experience it was even more painful to help him to enter the seminary. But if you feel that's the place you are called to be right now, Go ahead, I also understand that.

[@silv.s]

Wow....same but my crush is a guy who's entering a monastery! It's been the most difficult yet more rewarding experience ever! God bless you, I'll pray for you!

[@poli-rev4905]

Hello? Street Fighter check?

[@TheHorselover151]

I'm in the same situation but the guy I like just entered the priory in September. The jury is still out on how to move forward with our friendship but also take care of both of our hearts. God bless you, we're in a tough situation and like no one talks about it! Thank you Fr. Mike for trying to bring more light to this topic.

[@ian-pv5sv]

You are a good person father. Very glad God has gifted us with your wisdom in our lives!

[@angelalemos9811]

He knew he had a call and from his videos it's quite obvious he was right 💕

[@jaflatley4631]

How is God loving me right now ... in this season? My SO, my husband of 50+ yrs, was not called to seminary; God called him home to Himself March 2020. It has taken me over a year to realize the truth: “If God wants this for him, then this is what God wants for me, too.” God called my husband to Himself; God is calling me to something else. And this is how our good God showers me with grace: Fr Mike, I found your video this week, after prayer and discerning that God has a plan for me in this new season of my life. Yes, I am bereft, but He’s asking me to surrender to Him, to remember He loves me. He is doing something in me as a widow that He couldn’t do in my life before. Your video confirms that for me. Thank you and God bless you most abundantly!

[@ks7343]

What a blessing that your girlfriend was wise enough to say that! Thank you for sharing this for everyone!

[@annahammer1390]

I just wanted to say that I'm a young Catholic girl who has been struggling with some things and Fr. Mike you have touched me and your talks have helped me so much. I watch your homilies every week and try to listen to your talks like these and it's quite obvious that you have a huge gift for speaking. You have touched me in a way I can't explain. Thank you so much!

[@moxie3610]

If you have discord i can add you to a Catholic gc with a lot of Catholic teens! : )

[@danib3645]

I think its safe to say...Mel is the REAL mvp!!

[@AllanKoayTC]

yeah, my ex-girlfriend has become a nun. it's so strange now to see her and call her "Sister."

[@AllanKoayTC]

@CJ P. LOL

[@cleomanuel4459]

@CJ P. 😁😁😁

[@istast]

How Convent Cool!!! You are a good man.

[@nightfangs2910]

2 of the most important moments in your life, the day you were born, and the day you relieze why you were born 🙏🙏🙏🙋🙋🙋

[@True1-10]

True 💗 I'd add Baptism & birth of one's own child (when part of one's vocation) 👼🥳🤴💗 God Bless all who are discerning their vocation & all who are struggling 🙏✝️💗

[@alyce-kayruckelshaus1224]

Wow, Thank you for sharing this. My husband died about one and a half years ago. His vocational calling changed to one in heaven. It was clear that God didn't change my vocation to heaven because at the last minute he made it impossible for me to be in the truck with him. So I wasn't in the accident that killed him. I have felt abandoned quite a bit. But you're right I'm not an extra in my husband's vocational story. I know that part of what God's called me to is joining the Catholic Church which I did at Easter vigil. But now I need to ask how is God loving me now and what is he calling me to now? How is he calling me to surrender and trust right now? What is my new vocation? This almost makes me excited.

[@IONov990]

I am sorry for your loss

[@samgaerke]

Im sorry to hear about your husband's passing. He must have loved you very much. But welcome to the Church - don't lose that positive attitude! God has a plan. Trust him.

[@alyce-kayruckelshaus1224]

@@samgaerke Thank you. I trust that God will show me eventually. Right now maybe it's just getting settled into the church. I don't know. But He does.

[@alyce-kayruckelshaus1224]

@@IONov990 Thank you

[@treeannie8831]

Praying for the repose of your husband’s soul, and welcoming you to the one true Church of our Lord Jesus Christ. ❤️🙏🏻✝️

[@beckymadden956]

I am not a Catholic, but I do LOVE your videos...we are all part of someone's stories and God does LOVE us RIGHT NOW!

[@fabgal991]

I know this is silly, but I've always thought of priests as super heroes, hearing God calling them from the very beginning. But that's not the case, our priests sacrifice so much for the Lord and for Lord's people. Thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you for loving the Lord and all of us to follow Him. May God bless you and all of our brothers and sisters that follow His call.

[@christinawysockiart1521]

They're definitely super heroes

[@annag6018]

Me and my friend, just today, said how we feel like the extras in the movie, just the random faceless and nameless person to someone else's life. And this was today's topic. God's timing❤😂

[@yb5515]

Jesus is the 'superstar' in this movie, everyone else is just extras.

[@ana-7421]

You are God’s “the One” ❤️ watch “the hour that will change your life” by Fr Mike (I think it might be a Focus conference specifically), it’s such a beautiful talk

[@andrewkelly2028]

@@yb5515 Not mere extras... maybe supporting roles ;)

[@robertocastillo5583]

Many Blessings, Anna. I pray the Lord strengthen and guide you. I can imagine the status of such occurrence. Be mindful, God has great plans for you, it may seem otherwise right now, but eventually He will show you the bigger, clearer picture. Jesus, i trust in you!

[@77thTrombone]

@@andrewkelly2028 that's right. Remember the _Great Commission_ we all have. I also like to think of each of us being a pebble tossed in the pond to have our little, but direct, influence on the lives of others. Internet social media just distort things.

[@sandyjeannette4617]

Excellent approach to ALL breakups. Fr Mike you nailed this.

[@susanmorris6746]

I love this priest, I was brought up a catholic in Liverpool England we had some great priests and nuns at st Theresa school I thought of becoming a nun but felt god had other plans for me 🙏🏻

[@FormidableSantiago]

God is good

[@ransomcoates546]

Do people know the super romantic story of the actress who became Mother Dolores Hart? She entered a cloistered convent. Her fiancé never married, and came every week to talk to her through a screen.

[@IONov990]

That's so sweet 😍

[@jamilamendes7026]

How sweet.

[@jenniferCastellano927]

Yes I know this story!

[@thisgirl5933]

That just made my head explode. True love out of this world.

[@ransomcoates546]

@CJ P. Clearly a touching story because it’s a singular one! As a movie actress she, by the way, had some minor fame as the first woman Elvis Presley kissed on screen.

[@luis_techie]

Hope and pray that everyone is having a great day!

[@samemery]

Are you having a good day ?

[@luis_techie]

@@samemery It’s always a good day when God allows me and my family to live another day.

[@marybethmarybeth2256]

Thank you so much for this. Your story happened to me 35 years ago. The young man I loved went into the seminary. The last words we said to each other is "Stay Close to the Blessed Sacrament" we will always be together.

[@kazfor3769]

That's just beautiful 🕊️🕊️🕊️

[@markushill8639]

If I may, what vocation did you pursue after this, Mary Beth?

[@joyyoung3319]

Thank You Father Mike. God bless you! Vocations of all kinds are complicated, serious, life altering for EACH and EVERY person.

[@paulaann6117]

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Fr Mike. And thank you for your “yes” to your vocation. 🙏✝️🙏

[@samgaerke]

I ordered a religious book online in hopes to draw closer to god and his plan for me. When it arrived today it came as a hardback book, despite me ordering a paperback book. Call it a mistake on the company's part if you like, but I see it as one more way God is loving me today. Thanks for the talk Father Mike! It hits pretty close to home with my relationship right now. Praying for you!

[@silv.s]

I have been WAITING for this video forever!!! I'm in a similar situation, and praying that God gives me the serenity to accept thee things that I cannot change! Courage to change the things I can as the wisdom to know the difference! God bless you all!! 💙

[@nicolesneedle3868]

That is very far from the situation I am in right now, but the message at the end was EXACTLY what I needed to hear today, thank you deeply.

[@Tewkeslady]

Thank you Father Mike for an excellent video on this topic. I’m an almost-old woman, and towards the end of the video I found out why God wanted me to watch, but especially listen to what you said. Every day now, I will be asking myself that question and it will open up endless possibilities to me. Man oh man! Gosh, I’m so glad I listened 🙏😄🙏

[@Aggie-zs1qi]

Thank you for your vocation Father! So grateful for you and the impact you have made and will continue to make. God bless you always! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@adorablebelle]

"How is God loving me right now?" Beautiful question, thank you father!

[@jaysonm4472]

I am a convert to Catholicism and I am feeling called to marriage but also to orders. I think I can fulfill these vocations by entering the diaconate. However, part of me feels called to the priesthood. Please pray for me.

[@paulaann6117]

Jayson M will pray for you 🙏✝️🙏

[@dora2497]

Done

[@terriblycleverchannelname5620]

I’ll pray for you!

[@sme7385]

Ask St. John Vianney patron of priests to intercede to God on your behalf. He was a wonderful priest. Look him up. God bless.

[@angelalemos9811]

Will pray for ya 💜👍🏻🙃

[@Richie016]

Conditions of heartbreaks call for a natural approach towards God's path, Thankyou Fr. Mike. God Bless😇

[@451graham]

Wow!!!!! MELISSA'S response; badass 😎 I am sure she is doing great things 👍

[@elizabethmarie209]

This happened to me a few months ago, and it’s absolutely crushing. We had a beautiful relationship, and were talking about a future and a family. And he left me for the priesthood. I’ve been praying so hard but I can’t see God in this at all. If “God is doing something in this” I cannot imagine what would be worth this heartbreak.

[@pmarbly]

Hey, I hope you’re doing okay now. Same thing happened to me two months ago and I’m completely crushed. Will be praying for you ❤️

[@nariko47]

I feel like this often. Like everyone has a purpose except me

[@hotwings3]

God has a plan for you! Believe me, if he had a plan for me, he has one for everyone! Including you! God bless.

[@nariko47]

@@hotwings3 🙏😊

[@tinag7506]

Same. But reading the scriptures shifted my focus away from such circumstances. It hurts but God's plan is always for the best and we need to use it as a learning opportunity to trust Him more. I'm still learning.

[@lilianagarcia2965]

You are fulfilling your purpose everyday!

[@TheFunfolks]

How is God loving you right now ?????? POWERFUL !!!!!! Thank you, Father Mike....

[@michelleferrao8888]

Thank u Father Mike 😌 Very true "In the midst of any season in our life we must always trust God's plan and enter more deeply in his love because God loves us and will never stop loving us" God's love is like an ocean. We can see it's beginning but not it's end.💫

[@MariaVargas-fi8ov]

This is what I needed to hear!!! After being in a convent and being asked to leave and to dirscerned better at home, I can trully this is what God wants. I' ve learned a lot of this experirncie and can see how Gos is working on me. God blees ypu, father!

[@pattymankowski8200]

Amazing lady Mellissa.God be with her and you father.

[@annieoutman8418]

You have no idea how well timed this was.

[@77thTrombone]

Wow. Fr Mike's fiancee had wisdom. I mean like the "discussed in _Proverbs_ & _Wisdom"_ wisdom.

[@karenlacy257]

Wow! Just wow! God bless you Father Mike!

[@Theresa123able]

That's was just such a beautiful message Fr Mike. May God bless you always and your ex girlfriend ...she too reflected God's Love in such a wonderful way.

[@mattberg916]

A beautiful woman that said that to you. The will of the Father cannot be denied. Whatever it takes to get to the Father's house is what all of us need to do

[@parysethibodeau9474]

this was beautiful Fr. Mike!!! I do love these segments but especially this one. I've only just returned to the faith after leaving 20+ years ago. I guess our Lord knew i wasn't ready until now and i've never been happier. God bless!!

[@MariamHuizar]

Goodness did I ever need this. Thank you so much, Fr. Mike.

[@andytownsend7828]

Woooow Fr. Mike why you gotta call me out like this 😂 😭 seriously though, such wise words

[@Littlemermaid17]

Many people need to hear this, thank you Fr. Mike

[@jamilamendes7026]

Beautiful message. God does have plans for us that we sometimes can never see coming.

[@unbalancedself-control9680]

Reminds me of a song line. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers 🎼🎵🎶

[@jendoe9436]

“Remember when you’re talkin, To the man upstairs. That just cause he doesn’t answer, Doesn’t mean he don’t care.”

[@christinawysockiart1521]

Wee need "man oh man" merch from Ascension press 🤣

[@eddiy335]

We really do😂.

[@vanessarodrigues124]

A beautiful and correct way to look at suffering. May God bless you and continue to use you.

[@clarenavarra4629]

Thank you for this topic. Even being a widow of four years, I heard something in what you said.

[@bonniecastle9443]

How lovely was your story Father Mike, how hard and heartbreaking was your suffering, Amen What a loving girlfriend Melissa was, but also touched strongly by God. Then you turned it around for each of us. And then made us feel very special as we each are children of God with our own vocation in this life, Amen 💜🙏💜

[@julieworch5969]

WOW what an amazing message for all of us. Thank you... Fr. Mike.

[@maggiemargo364]

Thank you Fr. Mike, those words were God sent for me to hear today! Truly grateful for your own story, the role of faithful-fatherhood, a caring & devoted guiding of so many lives you bless in the Roman Catholic Church & around the world here on KZbin as well, because you discerned the devout Vocation Our Lord called for you. I'll pray that God blesses you always, & for many more good men to discern the Priesthood too!✨

[@FlamingTurkats]

I definitely needed this, thank you so much Fr. Mike!

[@harrisonpowers4265]

I love you Father Mike. Thank you for the video.

[@patriciag.8807]

I love you too Father!!

[@christinelovesOurLadyandJesus]

Beautiful...thank you Father Mike

[@noreenberardino4445]

Such a good message for anyone in any circumstance. Thank you Fr. Mike. God bless.

[@87iiiopo]

Thank you Father for your words!! that is so powerful and comforting in the midst of my battles! God Bless you ALWAYS

[@eduardog9243]

Very humbling way of thinking. Thank you Fr Mike

[@vjs0902]

What a beautiful story. If I was to lose someone for following god I’m good. God knows what we need period.

[@amyschmier8090]

This is actually really beautiful to hear!

[@jaca7584]

FANTASTIC...So much clarity!

[@joannereed868]

I, too, love you more with each broadcast. God has blessed you with a light and approach that is indescribable. May you become Pope some day.

[@MrMan2560]

Thank you Fr. Mike. This is very important to share and be able to demonstrate how a vocation that calls for chastity is just as noble as one called to a vow of marriage. The loss of a plan with someone who you thought you were to be with for life, is as real as if you had been married and then lost your spouse by death. As a widower who is now called to permanent Diaconate, I can relate to the loss of what you thought was your path to the the path and vocation God has for me know. Playing the supporting character in your own life is hard for people to conceptually grasp, let alone do. But, these moments of pain and loss remind us that God is the leading character and, as you said Fr. Mike, has each of our vocations in mind. Peace to all who have experienced the pain of this loss and know that God has great plans for you and loves you very much.

[@lidette711]

I thought this was going to be a simple video I could watch over lunch. Boy was I wrong. I cried over my sandwich, and I was wiping my tears with napkins. Praise be to God for His Love! His Love that flows through Father Mike, and Melissa, and all of you, my brothers and sisters. It is my hope that we continue to let God love us and and let His love flow through us.

[@johnbennett948]

God bless you Fr Mike, I enjoy tuning into you, I admire all you lovly young shepherds. Blessing from Ireland

[@rogiomoreno7214]

In my case was the opposite: after 9 years in a convent (yes, as a sister with 3 vows) God change the course! And as much as my struggle was hard, the conviction of God "calling me somewhere else" was the "wind" that kept me going... I kind of lost track of "me" for a while... a couple years ago I went through a "break up" from a guy I thought was "everything" (besides God) and I was still hurting, BUT maybe him, as well, was part of God's work in my soul, His way to love me... ("con razon tiene tan pocos amigos!!!!" 😏) Thanks for the reminder Father Mike! Blessings!!!

[@peggys3267]

So wise! Thank you for sharing your story and the truth that we each have our OWN story.

[@avinagonsalves6927]

I needed this. Thank you Fr Mike.

[@susanlevasseur3704]

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Fr. Mike! You are amazing. I'm so grateful for your honesty and showing God to us in everyday life!

[@allsaintsacademy9344]

Wow... Simply profound.

[@icedsassyamericana]

So good!! 👏🏼👏🏼🙏🏽 God bless and thank you Father!

[@ursulamartins4848]

God loves you more too. I admired your courage, God bless you and your family for allowing you to answer God's call.

[@alejandragonzalezperez7161]

I just needed this video so bad

[@BtheCEO247]

First, Fr Mike’s story caught me completely off guard since I never heard a priest discussing anything about their past dating lives! Ok so EVERYONE- including Fr Mike has a past, now I get it 😛🙃 ...Seriously thanks Fr Mike, it was so refreshing to hear your story and Mel is just too amazing for words....what she said was so powerful🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I too have a similar story about a guy I was dating-but wasn’t for seminary tho, I just felt like breaking up was the right thing to do- especially since I grew and still am growing more closer to the Lord, my heart truly desires a man of God to build a strong foundation in Christ with, if it’s His will that I marry. My ex was a good guy and I felt HORRIBLE maybe a little guilty too since he didn’t want to break up. So It’ll definitely mean so much to see how God could still use this-Jesus, I trust in You 🙏🏽

[@gabrielszohner6243]

EXACTLY ! I have been thinking of my past , ( High school lovers get pregnant ,He begs to keep the baby and get married she says no....common law it is ) how I tried to make things work , while she was running around wanting to be "free"..After breaking up , trying to stay friends for the sake of the kids.....through all that I was not honest to myself . I have repented and just been baptized into Eastern Catholic Church.....I still don't know if my now adult children will ever visit me .

[@loric4423]

It's time to find out

[@jonquilgemstone]

Thank you, Father! Though the situation is very far from my own, the message at the end still applies to me and brings me great peace. Thank you, Father ❤

[@batman48195]

Thanks for sharing Fr. Mike. Great insight as always.

[@kazfor3769]

Thanks for the reminder that God is loving me right now, just what I needed to hear!!!!! Such admiration for you father Mike for saying yes to god's call dispite the heartbreak!!!!

[@kafinn5302]

That was from the heart. Thank you, Father.

[@karenmiller1005]

This was so beautiful!! Thank you for your wisdom & love of our Lord!!

[@ceciliacasares9937]

God bless you father MIke! I pray for vocations and for the Lord to give the strenght to our priests and religious people to carry on Jesus' work

[@AJ-ez4hn]

I love what she said. That's perfect and accurate.

[@matthewlord8814]

In discernment for the priesthood now. Pray for me. God bless x

[@paidamudzamba8274]

Thank you Father for sharing this story. Im just curious, Did Melissa join the convent or got married?

[@mmrossoni]

Amazingly beautiful story you shared. Thank you so much! 💖

[@jonathangoodwin646]

The hardest thing for me I'm returning to the Catholic Church . I wrote an email to the Baptist church and said will not be back . And I said in the email No one has done anything to me to hurt my feelings but I prefer no phone calls no visit. And I also put in it if you show up for a visit my wife it's gonna say Not available.

[@monsitime9370]

Love the way you tell stories ❤️

[@angelalemos9811]

Yes indeed but how interesting for my vocation interest we couldn't have EVER engaged publicly or in any way such as what you are describing in order to be a part of this group. So the gift of chastity since birth or someone that lucked out and never managed to do anything before joining 👍🏻 Great video as always

[@marciecowan172]

The “if u want” the final 3 words are key. God in His wisdom gave us free will-He is going to love us regardless, so why not accept that love and live freely! Amen! Fr.!! Thanks for another great video.

[@marciecowan172]

Also, holiness is attractive.

[@madeleinegauthier]

You represent our Lord Jesus so well. Thank you for sharing His Wisdom. God bless you Fr. Mike.

[@alberichaiduk6495]

My mom and dad were the opposite, they both left holy orders

[@sme7385]

Did you know a Debbie Haiduk here in Los Angeles?

[@jonathangoodwin646]

I am old Catholic Man I am age 66 . Took me many Return To the Catholic Church . Did all Mike confessions Going to mass regularly.i stared taking holy communion. I in joy going to mass meet Jesus Christ .I been back 2 weeks in mass.

[@True1-10]

Powerful 💗 Thank you for your insight, wisdom & being so genuine 🥰 St Therese de Lisieux said "My vocation is Love" 💗 Being a parent is a unique vocation 💗🦸‍♂️ God has a plan & always uses our sufferings for good 💗 My spouse & I are separated & I wonder if marriage isn't their vocation.. The greatest blessing is our child who is worth any sacrifice 🦸‍♂️💗 🥰👼💗 God Bless all who are struggling or heartbroken 💗🙏✝️👼

[@bcfriardoyle7697]

Don’t make the mistake I made. Get counsel from a priest and see if you are eligible for an annulment, before you start dating. No matter the circumstances, divorce or not, a re- marriage leaves you the adulterer and in a grave state of sin. Perhaps years of trying to untie yourself. My prayers 🙏🏻

[@wms72]

Heartbreak is worse during COVID lockdown, which has felt like solitary confinement. ... And then God is so often silent.

[@ihs2021]

God's first language is silence. You are invited to step into His embrace of love, only you have to be still and let Him be God. ♥

[@metildajoseph5265]

Dear Father Mike, Thank you for the Message, Father.. Be Safe and stay safe.. RanjithJoseph (R.J)

[@msFilomena1]

Thank you Fr. Mike

[@Omon_x]

God bless you, Fr Mike.

[@alexluna1393]

i needed this fr. mike. i had to say yes to God and stop running away from a call ive tried to bury for 19 years. i had to make the same difficult decision. it was few days ago i had to make a sacrifice and I chose God. I felt something in my heart saying I could not fulfill the role of a significant other, or else I would still be in a relationship I am sure could have lasted my entire life. God's providence allowed me to find this and help share this. God's plan is perfect, and our will is not God's. Christ did not choose to die at the hands of His people, yet He gave himself, and in that way so I am giving myself to the Lord and asking Him to guide me in this period of discernment. God Bless everyone. Salvation is optional, but being a disciple is a calling, for everyone, and the message of God needs to be spread and LIVED. Please pray for me if you read this, as I took a leap of faith. Faith is believing without seeing, and God is proud of His obedient people, and He loves us ALL.

[@marybethcole1768]

Prayers being said

[@JohnR.T.B.]

Our vocation is ultimately to do the will of God in the various ways He has put us into, one way or the other, as long as we surrender to God's divine providence and follow His commands and words, we are doing the vocation. Each of us is called to be united with God, and ultimately through the One whom He has sent, our Lord Jesus Christ.