Where Do We Go From Here? -- FULL EPISODE

[@Rose-ef2cm]

I hate calling what happened to that girl “hooking up.” It’s rape. They didn’t hook up. It wasn’t consensual. He raped her.

[@manjotb888]

Exactly hook ups r consensual and what happened to her was rape/sexual assault. I hate how the family blamed her for it. The husband is the rapist/cheater etc.

[@Rose-ef2cm]

@Manjot Bola Exactly! When I think of “hooking up” I think of just a little fling, like a one night stand. Consensual, but casual. Not an engaged man raping his blackout drunk future sister-in-law. That’s abhorrent.

[@michellecaudle9413]

I agree we need more awareness that being drunk and having sex like that is not consensual, her judgement was really impaired. I can’t believe her family would blame her for what happened.

[@emifukakado-msjoke]

yeah fr, if she was drunk to the point she barely knew what was going on and can hardly remember anything….and he was SOBER! jesus christ, poor girl.

[@sweetie_babie]

The S/A story: "I didn't fight him, hit him" You don't have to for it to be assault. I didn't scream, I didn't hit my assaulter. I tried to push him off of me, but after a while I stopped because I was afraid. People tried to use that as a way to minimize it or gaslight me into thinking it didn't even happen. Don't do that to yourself. Stay strong out there

[@caitlinhudnall9285]

Fight or flight are NOT the only fear responses. Some people freeze. I was attacked when I was younger and just froze. Didn’t fight or run-was at his mercy. I was lucky enough that something spooked him and he ran off before it got too far but even that experience has always haunted me.

[@halihal7699]

There’s a doc I watched in an intro to women’s studies class.. where they talk about the definition of rape or sexual assault and then a bunch of women anonymously describe what happened to them that was clearly SA. Most of them deny it was SA when asked.. women are taught it’s only SA when you say no and push them off.. victims often say it was their fault or they didn’t say no, or they were too drunk etc.

[@dezzyhartley3009]

This is EXACTLY what happened to me when I was 15 and I blamed myself for some time before I realized it wasn’t my fault and me not fighting doesn’t make it not r*pe.

[@river6032]

​@caitlinhudnall9285 this isn't talked about enough. There are 4 main reflexes, not 2. Fight, flight, freeze, fawn

[@terrabyte5847]

The sister “sleeping” with her BIL was 100% taken advantage of and is considered raped! She was not in her right mind to be able to say no. She is a victim and I’m so pissed about her family. Eff it, I’ll be part of her family now.

[@terrabyte5847]

Right after this comment was posted the next story came on and blew my mind even more!! Like I’m over here telling the bride to run!! Why would she want to be in that horrible family?!?!? We don’t live in the 1800’s anymore!!

[@theoutreach2373]

@@terrabyte5847 I literally could not believe it 💀smdh

[@toratoragaming]

Honestly if I knew her and was a friend I’d probably sit the entire family down and just REAM them for victim blaming. Like how DARE they. She was DRUNK AND COULD NOT LEGALLY GIVE CONSENT. He is BY DEFINITION a RAP!ST

[@deijahlife8229]

I’m still stuck how the family didn’t question the 38 YEAR OLD man who’s completely sober and is old enough to know how to take care of someone who’s in a drunken state . Also, I’m really upset how they put all the blame her when she’s the victim here and she was really drunk, doesn’t remember anything, and how they didn’t question why he pulled over in the first place ?!! I’ve never experienced this in my life but I wonder how she may feel not knowing what happened or feeling guilty because she slept with her older sisters husband. When in reality it’s not her fault at all, he took advantage of her drunken stage. He’s to blame. [Edit:] I’ve never experienced sexual assault but it made soo angry how they quickly blamed the girl instead of questioning the 38 year old creep!

[@klaireansnes7133]

i agree so much i’m honestly in complete shock the family was naive enough to not believe the victim especially in this circumstance

[@captainjoy8976]

I think it's also culturally ingrained that women are blamed for the men's fault.. homewrecker often is descriptive of the women, not the man who chose to cheat (or in this case rape).

[@beautifullybroken201]

I felt the same way with this story...and honestly humans have the "Flight, Fight, or Freeze" reaction to situations. It sounds like OP froze, and that doesn't mean consent at all.

[@dovahqueen4066]

The fact that HE WAS SOBER for it should have been enough for the family to be like um no he fucked up. But just another example of how everyone blames the woman regardless of the situation it is always her fault....

[@clairer342]

If my friend or sister told me this happened, I would believe wholeheartedly and at least know that if it weren’t true, they knew something bad enough about my partner that it was worth lying or something. I’m incredibly sorry to anyone who has ever experienced something like this, and I wish you all the best 💖

[@victoriataylor8846]

For the first story, I won’t be angry with her for allowing him to get to the pictures, I would be angry because it took her four years to say something about it.

[@ziggyd93]

Absolutely. She is not faultless.

[@abbysees4959]

Completely agree

[@jessdrago5516]

I am not sure if this is referring to the laptop photos because if it is I think you misunderstood, for what I gather she only recently found out about him stealing those photos from her. And that is not something to be mad about because she only just realized it was happening

[@inkypanda1490]

@@jessdrago5516 they're talking about how he had the others girls photos before to use it

[@jessdrago5516]

@@inkypanda1490 those were public photos he found or screenshot or took himself with them. The part I was pointing out was when she said "allowing him" that is what led me to think she was referring to the photos on the laptop, which was a more recent incident that got him access to private photos. Which was not something that had been happening for those four years. My note was more just that those more intimate and private photos the OP did not know he was looking at for 4 years.

[@kadijakanu5760]

Female mutilation was a really big thing in my family’s tribe. My sister told me that there’s a certain ceremony that she went through in Africa where she went through extensive schooling at a very young age and afterwards the eldest woman in the tribe would cut off your labia. No anesthesia or anything they just kinda held her down and cut her up with a knife. She bled for days and after the bleeding stopped she received waist beads that are soo popular today. This is why she dislikes the idea of wearing them for fashion because of what she went through to get hers as a child

[@ravenentrekin4847]

Oh my god that’s so sad. I’m so sorry for your sister I have seen on a documentary I believe where they can get plastic surgery often for free to fix the mutilation.

[@someonerandom256]

It's called female circumcision, and it's still a very common tribal practice in parts of Africa. Weirdly enough I learned all about this on college in my African Art class of all places. It's heartbreaking!

[@tolulope2232]

@@someonerandom256 me too. I am from Nigeria and I didn’t know till 5 years ago in college

[@MsDrientje]

When I was 13 I read a book about female circumcision and how in some countries they not only cut off the inner labia, they also cut off the clithood and clitoris itself. A former Dutch political person, born in Somalia where circumcision is very common in girls, raised the AHA foundation that battles these practices and barbaric procedures. There is absolutely no reason to cut anything off for hygiëne or for prevention of disease.

[@Maria-up2yv]

@@someonerandom256 it's not called female circumcision. And it is in no way to be equated to circumcision. Circum refers to a circle. As in around the p*nis. It's called FGM.

[@kitaaallen9297]

Currently 24 yrs old. 12 years ago groomed and assaulted by stepmum’s 48 yr old brother. I can tell you, time does not make your family realise that you’re a victim. I will always be the one who tried to put her brother in jail……

[@babyyodachelsea7034]

💔💔💔 those are rapists and Rapist enablers that is scum of the earth you were such a strong courageous person who deserves so much better I can’t imagine the pain you went through and possibly still go through but one man’s rejection is God‘s protection their value to this planet is lower than the depths of hell…. From the second they decided that a 12 year old safety was less important than a 48-year-old man being held accountable ❤️

[@V.Hansen.]

I’m sorry. I’m just so shocked. How are people so disgusting? I hope you’re happier now and getting any help you need

[@autumn7723]

47:21 -The hymen ceremony literally made me scared for op when she said his father, brothers and uncle were doing it. I’m aware this isn’t a good thought but that seems too convenient to have 4-5 men and 1 woman vulnerable like that in a room? A recipe for disaster. I was so scared hearing that. Big fat no.

[@Justcomment-ki5wm]

For real !

[@Loveofmisery]

thats a big yikes to me, like offering your spouse up to your father, uncles and brother to basically sexually assault them.

[@Rachel-zo5rf]

When you’re infringing on someone’s rights and harming another person, you can’t hide behind “tradition.” It’s abuse. What a crazy situation. I’m glad that she realized how abusive it all was and got out of there.

[@clairer342]

First I hate the practice and everything involved, but it’s even worse when she has to be by herself with all male members of his family. She should be allowed to bring someone with her for her comfort and safety if this were to happen, but I will NOT stand for it in general. So many traditions have been terrible and become outdated, and certain cultures and traditions are still celebrated and bring happiness. Honestly I’m glad he freaked out so badly at her because I was so worried she was going to just put up with it and have something even worse happen at the disgusting ceremony or in their abusive marriage. I’d love for someone to ask the fiancé why men don’t have to do it too if it is so important and hear an ignorant, misogynist answer.

[@Kneecolelee]

Plus, is sounded like they waited till right before the wedding to tell her. 😬 So glad she left him.

[@clairer342]

@@Kneecolelee Yeah, he probably knows it isn’t right since he didn’t mention it earlier like you said. If I were asking for a small thing like borrowing a jacket, I’d feel no reason to procrastinate that.

[@timj5071]

As a gay man, the mother has every right to be mad. Screw the “he’s finally being himself tho” no. He should be himself with another man. Not her husband.

[@MagicaBlonde]

I agree, it's very sad. I'm a lesbian and even if he didn't mean to be malicious, it is still a terrible thing to do to a person. Leading someone on in anyway is not ok.

[@jordynfrost6206]

I’m just confused as to why no one questioned whether the son was being groomed… and is her son under the age of 18? She never mentioned it. But I’m betting he was groomed.

[@ThoughtsonThoughtsandFeelings]

I’m also disappointed there isn’t more focus on the fact that her son is NOT equally at fault

[@timj5071]

@@ThoughtsonThoughtsandFeelings I feel like people are afraid to criticize people of the LGBT community which is bs. Ppl in my community can be equally as bad and if not worse than the rest of the population if I’m being honest.

[@Demigoddess_of_Myself]

​@@timj5071not worse lol

[@heatherduke5410]

Hymens also break due to things like riding a bike, a horse, gymnastics, etc as well. In any case, that entire situation is creepy and controlling. There are quite a few horror movies about situations like this(or maybe not this situation, but ones where the husband to be's family has weird rituals that the new wife/bride is totally blindsided by). I'm beyond relieved that she left him.

[@azshadow32]

Yep. I was in 1st grade on the monkey bars and another girl (I suspect intentionally) kicked me hard between the legs. It was so hard I bled to the point I had to wear pads for a week. It was a small town so no one thought I should get checked out. Cut to my first time and the lack of a significant amount of blood (with my now husband) and me being a virgin, so he asks. I then had to think and after rembering explain what happened. I don't blame him because he was simply curious and we were both virgins. However the fact that this dude is asking his fiance to spread in front of every male in his family, people she will see regularly, is horrible. Why do the guys never have to prove anything in these things. How about proving your length? Let's get a ruler 📏 involved in front of all the females in her family. No? Btw I am not advocating for this idea.

[@vanessaultimo1926]

A girl in my class broke hers during PE 😅 I'm respectful of all religions but when religion uses beliefs to justify abuse it's not okay.

[@blackgirlmagicc]

Also your Hymen shouldn’t ideally break during sex you can have an “intact” hymen and not be a virgin unless something is wrong with it (and trust me you’d know) your hymen already has a hole in it (it’s how period blood gets out) that’s like super elastic-y that if you are warmed up gently and slowly will accommodate…things when you have sex it only breaks if you like slam through it (it’s very delicate) my hymen didn’t break till the 3rd or 4th person I’d slept with because he was super rough about it which was actually super traumatic but yeah Hymens links with virginity are so dumb it means nothing

[@darcyc5476]

He also manipulated this by waiting so long to tell her the family tradition. Why did fiancé wait to pop this request on her days before the wedding? He could of brought it up a lot sooner.

[@heatherduke5410]

@@darcyc5476 Oh, exactly. He knew there was no way she'd have said yes to his proposal if she knew about this before. She might've even dumped him on the spot.

[@tabathap.]

The sister story, she later called and said she was a homewrecker. So my bet is the sister confronted her husband and the husband gave a different version of the story. And as a new mother she chose to believe that flimsy story to "keep her family"

[@AwEsOmE4044]

The fact that he said "I don't need to prove anything to you" right after telling her to do something to prove her love to him shows how one sided the hole relationship would have been if she married him. so glad she left him!

[@DanielSinger122]

I'm loving these 3 way podcasts. The balance of perspectives is really nice. Let's make it 3 hot takes!

[@itsmeannam]

Same!!

[@lydiamoorer5934]

Love a good 3 way😂😉 but fr love it😂

[@shelby_button]

Agreed 110%

[@brandonhudson178]

Is it though? I really like listening to these, so this is just a constructive criticism. This podcast has no considerable difference in opinions. Morgan and Lauren are very similar in the way they think about things, and Justin has a very soft approach. I like Justin, seems like a good guy, but his opinions mirror what Lauren and Morgan already think. It would be more interesting to have some truly different takes, even if they were a little controversial. Just my thoughts.

[@brandonhudson178]

@Ross With No Sauce It's a little unfortunate, but those two words can so easily be mixed up depending on who you are talking to. I'm good with either. Just don't make it a one sided conversation. It cheapens the AHole vs N. AHole debate in my opinion. Let's mix up the opinions a little. :-)

[@paulinarestrepo15]

You should do a deep dive about bad doctor experiences. I have one, while it's not fucked up, I left wanting to cry. So i think it would be an interesting discussion since Morgan shared her two experiences

[@clairer342]

I’ve had very negative experiences with male and female doctors, and I’m really sorry that you felt any negative emotions after seeing a healthcare provider. I wish you all the best! 💖

[@marahbaker8615]

@@clairer342 I'm a 32 year old woman and of all my crappy doctor experiences only one was a male doctor and the others were all female. Actually now that I think of it, only one female doctor I've ever had was nice and the worst one literally caused me anxiety about going to the doctor that I hadn't previously had

[@BallinBunBun]

You're definitely not alone, I have so much medical trauma from doctors I could spread it across multiple lifetimes. Every other doctor I tell about it gaslights me 😒

[@TheAdrift]

Agreed, I think that would be a great topic for a video. I've got a few... one had a pretty nutty conclusion that didn't really involve me directly, because I had switched healthcare plans and found a different doctor by that time, but it was certainly unexpected when I found out my doctor was forced to resign after being caught not only overprescribing medication to a certain patient, but also sleeping with said patient. (he was married, by the way.)

[@pissylyss]

I had to get an EKG once because I was having such insane chest pain. The woman who performed it looked at my boobs and asked me how bad my nipple piercings hurt because her daughter was thinking about getting them …

[@riotdudee3091]

This literally made me almost breakdown hearing that poor girls story about her sister fiancé 😭I felt the same way for so long and it’s NOT YOUR FAULT BABYGIRL I promise you so much it’s never your fault for disgusting human beings taking what they want, they’re at fault . Things get better

[@whatevereven]

Hope you are thriving now, you're strong as. I hope so many good things come your way!

[@dannie4098]

The doctor bit hit me HARD! I'm chronically ill and it took me ten years to get a diagnosis because of medical gaslighting. There are some horrifying statistics on male doctors in particular ignoring female patients when they complain of pain. Would LOVE if you guys did medical situations as a topic! These problems should be talked about more openly!

[@LLynneM]

My PCP had a lot of older patients so he ignored my “young” a$$ when I told him I had neck pain (which got progressively worse for each visit) until I forced an MRI and he called all sheepishly saying “sorry honey u hv a herniated disc.” I was on the table hvg it removed within a wk. Had he not ignored me for 8 mos…. Im more angry now than I was at the time.

[@dannie4098]

@@LLynneM I feel you and I'm so sorry it got so bad for you! When I was in the US doctors always blamed my pain on my weight. At the time I was about 140lbs, perfectly average. It took moving abroad to get a doctor to take me seriously.

[@mgracie8129]

Now 24 (nearly 25) been going to the doctors (UK) since I was a preteen for the same problems. The gaslighting is unreal, its always something I'm doing or not doing rather than something they can do or aren't doing 🙄

[@bonnie4031]

“And then he slapped me” I AUDIBLY GASPED

[@laurendrew6357]

I cant imagine raising daughters in that family. The “tradition” shows so much about how they really think about and treat women in their family.

[@oatmilkenthusiast1]

With the first one it is not her fault but if I was her friend the fact she didnt tell them the first or at least second time it happened I would feel a little betrayed. I would not want to be around someone like him and would've liked to know before it got to the point it did so I could distance myself.

[@melanieluft4955]

Yeah I couldn't trust the person and I'd put blame on my friend too for letting this happen multiple times

[@monicaherrera2224]

Honestly before judging the son on the last one I’m curious about how and when that affair started. It definitely depends of how old he was when it started, but I’ve heard many horrible stories of people who were groomed by their parents partner and then guilted/manipulated into staying quiet.

[@k64632]

Agreed I kept wondering how old the son is and when things began. I would definitely be worried there could have been grooming going on.

[@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382]

This is where my mind went first . How long was the stepfather in the sons life. Has she been going out of town for work for years

[@kylienorth1340]

Really surprised more people weren’t taking this view point

[@RealBradMiller]

The son was fifteen when his mom married the stepdad, so that would make him twenty five.

[@bri.janell13]

For the S/A story, I am horrified that everyone in that family blames the victim. OP might not want to come to terms with the fact that it was, in fact, r*pe. It’s hard acknowledging that someone you trusted betrayed you in a vulnerable state, nonetheless everyone in her family should be on her side. The husband cheated, was sober, pulled over randomly, and was WAY older. That’s horrifying and I hope OP seeks therapy.

[@clairer342]

I feel bad for her because she probably can’t believe it even happened especially since everyone in the family is gaslighting her

[@clairenelson113]

Lll Mmmmol

[@bonnie4031]

I went to a male gyno to get STD tested after being sexually assaulted and it was my last time EVER visiting a male gyno. He took a look at my business, laughed, and said “yup, looks a little yeasty down here” and I almost cried lmao. He said it like a dad joke😭

[@mydirtyfeet]

That is horrendous! I am so sorry that happened to you!

[@donavanpho]

I’m always scared her wine glass is just going to fall over.

[@TwoHotTakes]

There will most likely be a day. I can’t keep getting so lucky

[@noodlepoodlegirl]

I know. She will move it to the back of the couch, or between her and her guest, and I watch it nervously every episode. I’m watching them newest to oldest, binge-style, and she’s been lucky so far!

[@Christina-Claire]

I was told by a survivor of FGM that culture is no explanation for cruelty. Even if something is a 'tradition' does not make it right.

[@noodlepoodlegirl]

Agreed. It’s another horrific tradition in systemic oppression that’s part of the war on women. My heart breaks for the young girls who face this atrocity and are physically and emotionally scarred for life.

[@IAmContemporary]

I once read “tradition is peer pressure from dead people” and that really sums it up. Just because something has been a practice for a long time doesn’t automatically make it right.

[@forbiddencave]

Not all gay people know we're "hiding things" when in opposite sex relationships. Sometimes we think we're genuinely interested, and then doubts grow. Sometimes we think we could just be bisexual, which is not always the case. That's why heteronormativity can be so dangerous for all of us, we never question it before the relationship.

[@crylokrebs9552]

Thank you. Agreed. It’s not fair to think that we’re “lying” when the majority of the time we ourselves or figuring it out ourselves.

[@jessdrago5516]

I completely agree with this and that should never be the assumption. However with the stepdad and son it crossed line when they were lying about the relationship for so long and hiding that, which was not okay. If he didn't know, he didn't know but when he did realize that's when a conversation should have happened with her.

[@Trish-lamour]

If you don’t know, then don’t get married.

[@lrynjm_xo8961]

@@Trish-lamour I think you misunderstood. You literally don’t know that you don’t know. Like u could not even be aware of the fact that that is a part of you, it’s not even on the radar, so you wouldn’t even have the knowledge to think “hmm I’m unsure, better stay unmarried”

[@rumis.dollsss.15]

​@@Trish-lamourmost people are kept out of blue of what being aueer is so they don't know that they are queer

[@katttaylor3212]

As a survivor of a 2 year relationship that had multiple cases of rape and sexual assault, I can honestly say that until you look at it from a clear safe mind, you blame yourself and say oh no it must have been my fault or make it ok in your mind because that could not possibly happen to you especially from someone you know/trust. Not to go to much into it and please don’t call me out for staying as long as I did I was young and dumb and thought that no one else would want me due to having extremely low self esteem. Your brain can very much so play tricks on you. Especially when your memory is not 100% from the even. Alcohol not even part of it we have an amazing way of blocking things out that happen to us.

[@sophiakeele6666]

I have a close family member that was a SA victim and by the things she has shared with me, you're right. It was from someone she was supposed to trust, his family believes that he didn't do anything wrong. She's in a new happy life and I hope you get that too!

[@cassidybrewer]

My ex husband of yeaaarsss did this to me because he said “I owed him,” and legitimately got so into my head about my wifely duties that it took years to realize what had happened to me. By the end of our relationship I would literally jump when he’d try to touch or kiss me. I was afraid of him and I didn’t even know it at the time. Thank god for divorce.

[@positivecynic365]

If anyone ever calls you out for staying, they just are extremely ignorant. People like your abuser look for partners whose vulnerabilities they can exploit and then they gaslight you so slowly you don't know it's happening. It's extremely pernicious. We are often willing to accept things in our own relationships that we would see with clear eyes as abusive if it was happening to someone else. I think it's because we know about every sweet, kind, and loving thing about our partner and gaslight ourselves into seeing abuse as mild issues we can overlook. I hope you have been able to seek therapy and process the terrible things that happened you. I hope the same for that poor 21 year old assault victim.

[@DrBeanBurg]

“I know that a placenta is different than a pair of shoes” absolutely killed me. Scientist Lauren for the win!

[@artisseriechicken]

Lol I love how Lauren is convinced she wouldn't mind the placenta because it's outside and completely ignores the fact that the smell and bugs it would attract would easily get into the apartment through the front door and make the living room completely impossible to sit in comfortably.

[@sassy_sister1359]

With the story about winning the big amount of $$, I think it's even better that the guy is giving his ex wife $ since she never even asked for any herself. She just said that he could afford a nice vacay for him and the kids, no mention of her getting any $. That just shows how good of a person that woman is, doesn't get jealous that he won the $ and not her.

[@shelby_button]

For that first story; I personally wouldnt be mad if my friend told me her significant other did that the FIRST time she found it and she left him. MAAAYBE even the second time because she wanted to give him a chance. But MULTIPLE TIMES over the course of FOUR YEEAARS to the point of hacking her?!?!?! No. I’d feel very betrayed by that point honestly.

[@LoveNathasha]

We should all take a moment of silence for how badly Lauren’s middle school sex ed class failed her…😬

[@Loveofmisery]

welcome to America!

[@ciaolife]

With the first story, it is not OP's fault. However, as this is a reoccurring issue I think I would feel betrayed if I was one of her friends. By not telling them, the friends kept providing potential fodder for his bank, and they probably wouldn't have sent her any more images if they knew there was a risk he'd intercept them. They probably wouldn't want to be his friend either, or would modify their behaviour around him. At the least, they should have been party to the same knowledge so they could make informed decisions.

[@liandajane3207]

There's laws broken they should report the asshole for sexual harassment and invasion of privacy

[@alaskaroller2192]

As a victim of S/A multiple times over a very very bad relationship, my mind did so much mental gymnastics to avoid processing I was abused. It took 8 months before I mentioned crying during sex (and my partner ignoring me) offhandedly to a friend and them telling me that’s not at all normal. Getting to a point where you can fully look at what someone’s done to you , especially when you already have an image in your mind of this person and the assault completely shatters that. On top of that, having even one person telling me I was exaggerating/lying sent me spiraling for months and months. I’m still not recovered from that incident. So this poor girl, who hasn’t gotten to the point of realizing what happened to her, having her entire family not be on her side and shame her... I can’t even imagine. Even if they do all come around, I don’t know if I could let them back in after that. I can’t process the pain she has to be feeling right now. I hope she’s alright :(

[@sweetie_babie]

I'm so sorry. It was very similar for me. I was very close to the guy who assaulted me. We grew up together, we had crushes on each other that went nowhere. I trusted him. Even after it happened, I only really talked to my "best friend" at the time about it (she was there when it happened, basically facilitated it) and since she never said anything was wrong I internalized that. It took me MONTHS to realize what happened to me, I literally had to have one of the worst depressive episodes I ever had to understand. It took me opening up to people about why I fell into this episode for my sister to tell me it was assault. And all that time in between, I was living my life like nothing happened. I was even still friends with him, we had signed up to do a talent show with each other (I was 16 at the time), everything. It's so easy to blame yourself and rationalize the assault away. It's fucking awful. I'm glad your friend was there to help you out in that desperate situation. I hope you're doing better now

[@alaskaroller2192]

@@sweetie_babie you too. I really does help to have people online that are a few steps back from the situation to say “hey! This is wrong!” And I hope that’s what op eventually gets

[@brieanaj9971]

I love that no one talks over each other on this podcast. It’s so frustrating when people talk over each other to me, especially during a podcast.

[@daniinzunza3872]

One of the things I love the most about this podcast is the reframing of the stories. You all take your time to deconstruct each part and sense of the story but then strongly validate the victim’s feelings. Full circle moment!

[@305niquee]

The guy who came into the large amount of money owes basically nothing to his gf, she’s more of a fwb and his ex wife has 2 CHILDREN with him, they deserve that money. There’s literally no reason not to take care of her and their kids

[@eggperson3189]

survivor here. I just found this podcast and this ep dug up some trauma for me that I hadnt confronted/realized until now. About a year ago, I hung out with my ex bf after we broke up. He was sober for a few months, and occasionally would buy me drinks and food and sometimes we would go back to his house. I can remember passing out and waking up to him kissing me. When I woke up my shirt was pushed up. I thought the same thing as the OP and was disappointed in myself for hooking up with him. I told my friend about it and she said she wasnt surprised I got back with him and that I wanted attention from him. Just need to get this out that looking back I had absolutely no consent and he had all the power. I regret that I trusted him after breaking up but no one deserves to be taken advantage of in that way

[@laurenrobinson3764]

My dad had an affair and broke up my parents marriage. Years go by, my mom is able to forgive (not forget) and they remain friends and still love each other as the other parent of their children. And as their child I appreciate that so much more than they will ever know. They were the best team at my wedding and it was exactly what I wanted. So good for that guy. Their kids will grow up and see their relationship and respect it and them.

[@HufflepuffQueen]

Could you please post when the stories start? Even though I'm glad you added the trigger warning, I want to skip that story and go to the next one but it's hard to determine when the next story starts when I'm trying to fast forward.

[@cadyheron9951]

the s/a story is so so sad. first of all it’s a 38 year old man who is SOBER and MARRIED to her SISTER what an absolute creep. i feel so bad that she’s feeling so much guilt when she didn’t do anything wrong. if she was so drunk she can’t remember, she wasn’t able to consent period. it’s really sad that she doesn’t think she was s/a’d bc she didn’t fight him. that man ruined that family and i can’t believe no one has put any blame on him. he was a GROWN ASS MAN 17 years older than her. i really hope OP can go to therapy and heal

[@TaylorSRSLY]

Speaking as someone who was sexually assaulted after passing out from drinking, it took me years to come to terms with the fact that it was sexual assault. The person was one of my best friends so initially I took responsibility for getting "too drunk" and downplayed what happened. I think it can be very difficult to admit your a victim because we never want to believe we will be in that situation.

[@tylercaldeira4904]

It being normal to get girls drunk to sleep with them is literally one of the biggest aspects of rape culture. Op was violated and it sucks that she gets blamed in our society

[@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382]

Anyone else notice how smooth Morgan picked up her wine glass backwards and took a sip without spilling a drop.😏

[@alidayy7]

The sexual assault story really hit my soul… This is definitely a case of sexual assault. The 21-year-old sisterIs trying to rationalize it because no one will believe her she’s not trying to use alcohol as an excuse but in the situation he was sober and extremely older than her he doesn’t take it manage of her and the fact that her sister won’t believe her and see that she’s in denial. Once a cheater always a cheater his true colors will definitely show through I feel sorry for her future family or lack there of

[@get.holistic]

Ahhhh seeing a new full episode just made my entire day! This is hands down my favorite pod cast and favorite thing to listen to while welding at work!

[@kenzieshaye6818]

Me too!!

[@picklegurrl]

For the son cheating story, I'd genuinely be concerned if he was groomed or taken advantage of tbh. Because if you switch that out and it's his daughter he's having an affair with...Idk I would want to know when this started.

[@susannashai8965]

When I was 16 I was assaulted twice in one year. Both situations I was extremely intoxicated. One of them had a girlfriend. The next morning I barely remembered what happened but I knew something happened. I told the girlfriend and she blamed me. Everyone did. I was also called a whore and a home wrecker. For a long time I never said it was assault. It took months of therapy. It sucks.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

Story 4: So she’s supposed to make a spectacle of herself to prove she’s a virgin, but she just has to accept “trust me bro”? Nah.

[@celestearagon9322]

I need more Justin, Morgan and Lauren content!! 🥰

[@tutsdgn4809]

The hymen one is absolutely mental. So glad she got out of there. It's absurd what they're asking of her and think it's ok. And her ex needs a fucking jail sentence cause he shouldn't be a part of society 😂

[@KylieChavez-li9gm]

I love this show so much! I’m going thru and watching them all since I just found it this year, 2023. However the painting not being centered over the couch is driving me crazy 😂😂😂

[@lpsmadgirl23]

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP SMART HOUSE ! I thought I was the only person that saw that movie, like there is so many movies abt why completely automating your home is dangerous but that movie was definitely the blue print

[@bobcatred]

The sister that thinks OP is a homewrecker has given her husband the okay to cheat whenever he wants now. If he could sleep with her sister (consenting or not, and it certainly was not) and the sister is the one who gets blamed by everyone in the family, he basically just got told “the woman will always be blamed for my wrongdoings, so why should I stop myself?” Everyone saying he’ll cheat on her before the baby is born are probably right.

[@sophiakeele6666]

As a family member of a SA victim, we never once blamed the victim. The guy was older with a family. I would never think to have blamed the victim. The fact that the family did shows that they weren't family, they were placeholders. Happy they ditched her, OP deserves better.

[@tessmcclennan5976]

the hymen story has me wilding, i could see the mom checking in private, but the dad and all the men? susss

[@diamondbutterfly1049]

Yeah I’m not showing her. 1st they are not drs and 2nd if I have to prove things there is no trust. But I def will not get naked for men I don’t know in an intimate way. Like hello if im a virgin I don’t know a man down there and the person to enter me 1st is your dad. No sir

[@tessmcclennan5976]

@@diamondbutterfly1049 very truee!

[@krisl6537]

How about they just wait until they consumate the marriage? Most women bleed a little during their first time... Actually... Who cares? The fiance was an abusive asshole, it wouldn't have worked out anyways

[@monarchbutterfly6562]

TIMESTAMPS !! listener write in - 2:52 story 1 - 15:07 story 2 - 24:01 story 3 - 35:53 story 4 - 45:25 story 5 - 1:02:31

[@jess-ue1mj]

🤓

[@heezypeasy8611]

Omg the hymen checking dad story is insane! I would nope tf out of there! Edit: soo glad that she left that disgusting man! I had a male OBGYN with my 2 younger babies and he never made me feel uncomfortable in any way at all.

[@kendraguess5254]

I know most don't feel the same way but my favorite and most trusted gyno is a man. He always shoots clear and straight about my options and whats going on. I do realize he is an outlier though! About the Hymen situation id also encourage her to think even past herself if she decided to go through with the check because its "one thing" are they planning on having kids? What if they have a girl she be expected to go through this "practice"?

[@Theanine95]

Same! I'm probably just lucky but I way prefer my current gyno who is a man. My old gyno was a woman and she was horrible and so judgemental. She would constantly comment on how much weight I gained (even when it was ridiculously low) and would diminish me when I say the bottom examination hurts. She would straight up say "no it doesn't hurt" "stop making drama" when it DID hurt, like because she's a woman she thought she was so entitled to say that it didn't hurt and that I was lying. My current doctor would just tell me to breathe and that he's sorry it hurts. The bare minimum I guess but life changing to finally have a doctor who respects me.

[@JocelynRey]

1:02:32, it’s possible that the husband always wanted to get to the son all along. many times groomers will get close to the parent(s) to get to the child. depending on how old her son was when they (wife and husband) got together, it’s possible and even likely. either way, very F’d up situation and deepest sympathy to the mother/wife.

[@georgiejeremy811]

Please keep these podcasts coming! They're so relaxing

[@emy1511]

Love this podcast! Could you in the future put time stamps on when each new conversation starts? It'll make it easier to skip over the tw ones and continue watching.

[@ziggyd93]

Story 1 the guy is a predator. And I would be pissed at my friend if they knew this guy was doing it for years and didn’t put a stop to it. She IS partially to blame, though I do still feel bad for her. It was a huge red flag at the very beginning of the relationship that he was doing this. It was only a matter of time before it escalated. Tell your friend group individually. And if you’re feeling extra petty, throw a party with him (if you haven’t broken up yet) and all these friends and have all of them confront him so that he knows how much of a scum bag he is.

[@Demigoddess_of_Myself]

I was SA while drunk 2 days after my 21st birthday. It absolutely wasn't her fault & the fact that her family blames her & think she used alcohol as an excuse when he was completely sober shows what lengths they'll go to to protect a preditor. Also, even if they were BOTH sober he was the one in the relationship that shares more of the blame. The fact that the other woman is always judged harder than the man who cheated is disgusting to me & shows who's really a terrible person here

[@maudeduguay9521]

Hi Morgan, love the podcast! Idk if you’ll see this, but when talking about a triggering subject, could you put in the timestamp of where to jump in order to skip it? This would help us to avoid having to hear segmented parts of the story while trying to figure out where to jump ahead

[@Rose-ef2cm]

The technical term for a gay person that is in a straight relationship is “comphet” which stands for “compulsory heterosexuality.” It’s when one or more gay people enter a straight relationship due to feeling like they HAVE to be straight. This is most common during the time in which the individual hasn’t come to terms with their sexuality, and are still in denial of it. Though some gay people will enter what appears to be a straight relationship out of safety. In the past, gay people would marry another gay person but of another gender (so a lesbian would marry a gay man) and then be neighbors with other gay people in the same situation, or even live in attached homes that have doorways into one another’s homes. The two gay men and two lesbians would actually be in a relationship with one another, but marry the other person’s partner due to being unable to marry who they are actually in love with so that way they can appear straight for safety reasons, get the benefits of marriage like health benefits, and still be with their actual partners under the guise of heterosexuality. So the situation described with the aunt and uncle was most likely comphet, but could have been two gay people marrying one another for safety purposes as well. Hope this helped.

[@Mhaga81]

I was told by my obgyn that you really shouldn’t eat the placenta. The placenta is essentially a filter for harmful things so they dont get to the baby…or as much. So my doctor said essentially eating the placenta is like eating an air or car filter. And they have experience soo many people getting heavy metal poisoning and other issues from doing so. Would so note ive seen a midwife and doula in my practice that have a similar feeling about it. And they can even admit they used to not see a problem with it but in recent times have done more research and now feel differently.

[@abigailsandoval2632]

For the fiancé wanting her dad to check her Hyman story : W T F . I literally couldn’t keep my jaw closed. I looked it up and this is what I found “Tajikistan is among some 20 countries that still carry out so-called virginity tests - examinations of females’ hymens to determine whether or not vaginal intercourse has occurred.” Honestly the way he had the audacity to slap her as if she knew she needed to do this “test” this whole time. I’m so glad she left. I hope she’s doing better.

[@cynderella3477]

I had a male OBGYN for 10+ years until I moved out of state. Best OB I've had. I have repro issues and he was the only one to take me serious and do something about it.

[@alexxhobbs7575]

I had a situation VERY similar to the BIL story and it took me years to even admit it was SA let alone to stop being guilty about it. I couldn’t imagine being in OPs situation where their whole family thought it was her fault that’s insane

[@evalisseufret6476]

When they started reviewing the first story they got in I was so unnerved. Something like this has happened to me but in high school and on a lower level. I felt super betrayed and disgusted and genuinely didn’t even wanna be friends with the person anymore because they knew what was happening but continued to let it happen because they loved their boyfriend.

[@aurabenton4030]

The first story was me. My ex was emotionally and psychologically abusive and I was in denial since he was a good friend of 5 years before we dated. He would say misogynistic comments about a random girl's outfit, was not allowed to wear shorts otherwise I was a "slut", could not hangout with female friends bc I would become a "slut just like them", and yet he had naked and suggestive photos of random cosplayers and his female friends. I caught him multiple times and he was the one accidentally flashing these photos when using his phone in front of me. He cheated on me and is getting married to that girl he cheated on me with. I was like the girl in this story, I wanted to give him benefit of the doubt that he would delete all of this data, especially photos of his female friends that all had boyfriends, and he never stopped. I only wasted two years of my life for this, so I hope this listener leaves asap. If he didn't respect you the first time, it won't change later on unfortunately.

[@nelsonhernandez3259]

My fiancé was exactly in the same situation. She had nobody to connect with and her ex lured her into an abusive relationship. Everything you mentioned was done to her. I feel for you and I hope you healed. I’m still helping my girl heal and we’re already 5-year relationship; just to show how deep a person can hurt you. Again, I hope you healed from your ex and doing good (:

[@cestlavieve]

it's not even just the way justin talks about morgan but the way every time he looks at her it's full of admiration, love, and respect!!! just ugh! 💕 (ps love listening to you guys - makes me feel like i'm gossiping about these stories with my friends! thanks for fostering such a great community!)

[@TwoHotTakes]

Ugh who’s cutting onions?!?! 🥺😭

[@TwoHotTakes]

I’m having an emotional day lol but damn you got me crying

[@azshadow32]

Feel soo bad for the 21 yr old who had to be treated so badly. It is SA point blank period. She was intoxicated and had no ability to consent and it seems he planned this out and looked for a convenient spot to be able to do that without being caught. The family reaction is beyond messed up and I hope she can get help and her family comes to their senses.

[@tat._7384]

"OH STOP IT" made me tear up, i love your relationship, absolute GOALS

[@michellegiroux8677]

The hymen story is absolutely crazy. Not only does she have autonomy over her body, her future FIL is NOT entitled to her body, no one is. PLUS as Morgan has mentionned, there are several ways the hymen wouldn't be 'intact'. Young girls who are physically active (athletes), especially in high intensity sports, gymnastics, horseback riding will more often than not have a 'broken' hymen, but also so everyones body is different and some girls will be born without hymens, small hymens, ones that have holes, etc. SO glad she ended it

[@marianaaguirre2905]

i can’t believe i went through almost 15min of this video and i didn’t notice the dog laying down until he popped his head up🥺❤️❤️

[@AmyLThurlow]

I'm glad I'm not the only one! 😂

[@jabtrack123]

Fun fact while there are some predecessors to the concept, Ouija boards were literally made in the 1890’s US and the word “Ouija” is a trademark of Hasbro. You literally can only buy a Ouija board from a toy company

[@elliemae5526]

not to mention the age on those things is like for ages 8+😂😭 cant drink till youre 21 but hey you can summon demons at 8!😂

[@Nytemist21]

Ahhhhhh perfect timing im so excited for this!!!! Thank you for giving us your time and you're so appreciated

[@Awalker307]

I also think the girlfriend in the money situation was insecure because it sounds like he would have chosen the wife if the wife didn’t decide to get a divorce the mistress has always felt like second fiddle.

[@DeliriumSyndrome]

I was assaulted by a friend while we were hanging out one on one. I didn't speak or say no or push him away, I just froze and went somewhere else in my mind. I left in a hurry after, but didn't think he did anything wrong because I never said no. I told him later that I was uncomfortable and didn't want that with him and didn't consider it sexual assault until after he did it again. When you're young, you don't always know what consent looks like, and that's really dangerous in itself. The sister in story 3 was absolutely raped and it is disgusting that her family didn't take her side.

[@princesset91]

Fifth story: I can't believe she didn't call the police on him after he hit her. If that were me (which it has been before), he would be sitting in jail.

[@kenzieshaye6818]

Morgan: “are we ready for the hymen update?!” I died laughing omg 😂😂

[@theyoutubeanalyst3731]

Ikr? I was like "yeah I'm ready to download the updated version of my hymen".

[@amandadeoliveira333]

for the first story, idk if it's possible but couldn't they sue him? if they really wanted to go through it, get a lawyer and have a cease and desist for those images? i feel so bad and i would be so furious if this happened to me. i cannot imagine this and in my more mature brain i would immediately go w lawyer. have a lunch date w each individual girl and explain the situation first and come up w a plan and then break up w him

[@shelbyelliot6986]

Lmaoooo the “do you usually take that home?” About the placenta outside the door has me dying these are too funny I love you all together

[@victoriadennison8369]

we need the scary stories ep

[@kenzieshaye6818]

YES!! I want to here Morgan’s haunted house story so bad

[@francescamarciano8564]

My heart is into million pieces for the lady who got betrayed by her husband and son, it’s gonna take her many years to trust another man and eventually let him into her life. For the question about the camera I feel like she had a gut feeling and women’s gut feelings are almost never wrong so I don’t blame her for putting a camera in her own house while she was gone I just feel sorry about the fact that she saw what happened instead of someone letting her know, that scene will always live in her head. Sorry if my English is not perfect, i’m Italian but I hope that it’s clear enough for it to make sense.

[@Hannah-pn1tu]

As a SA survivor, there is a a lot of blame and uncertainty. Sometimes you think that it wasn’t that bad and you are just overreacting. There’s also a trauma response of your memory blocking out the experience so it can take years to realize what happened. Hope that girls family fucking apologizes especially the sister. The husband needs to go to jail. Such a terrible story.

[@kenzieshaye6818]

I’ve been waiting for a new episode YAS

[@pilargutierrez7990]

So for the first story, I am from Mexico, and we have this law, Olympia Law, which means that no one, and I mean NO ONE, not even your partner, can have nudes or intimate pictures of you or any other person without your/their consent, like its illegal and you actually get jail time for it.

[@DawnMoore77]

This should be a law everywhere

[@emmapearson2253]

This episode was so stressful😂😂 the number of time I gasped

[@kelseykuttthroat]

Lmao personally I loved my male gyno, he was seriously the best. I thought I would have been uncomfortable with a man, but he was amazing and always made me feel so comfortable. I wish he didn't retire last year lol he saw me through both of my pregnancies and I would have died giving birth if it wasn't for him showing up on his night off to be there when things started turning very bad. He also was very kind and gentle with me when I was going through issues related to endometriosis. Male gynos aren't all scary or bad. Ha! 😆 He definitely knows way more about the female anatomy than I do 😂

[@adiemeyer3536]

So the second story with the guy stealing pictures I'd make sure to delete every picture off of all his devices. And dump him. Enfantalizing your friends in that way is bad to begin with

[@lichailgaines680]

I used to watch for a good laugh now I listen when sleepy because their voices are so soothing lol

[@marissayushi2591]

the sister one hits too close to home. blaming yourself after getting assaulted when drunk and then having people spread rumors and talk like you're a horrible person is a different type of pain.

[@juliannzettle6677]

As someone who dated a guy who was gay, it’s hard. He had no idea until the end of our relationship and it was rough because we were each other’s first boyfriend/girlfriend, kiss, dates, pretty much everything at 16 (except going all the way) it was a very difficult end because we drifted apart so slowly and it wasn’t until I started falling for a guy who gave me attention that I was craving that I realized we weren’t compatible. It was a messy break up and even tho I knew we couldn’t be together I sobbed for weeks because we had been together for a year and a half. My now fiancé and I are extremely happy and will be married next year and my ex now lives with his partner and they are very happy. We are happy for each other respectfully. Everyone jokes with me that I was his beard in high school but people don’t realize how tough it is to date someone who isn’t attracted to you and there is nothing you can do to solve that. We fought hard for each other, worked day and night to make things work even tho we were fighting a ton. In the end we’re fine now but no body talks about how difficult a situation like this is. And I don’t blame him at all. He didn’t know and I didn’t either and how could we when we were so young?

[@superrobby3657]

Yall uploaded this on me 21st bday ily!!!!!

[@305niquee]

The placenta thing is definitely cultural, it doesn’t smell like anything in my personal experience. I wouldn’t be bothered at all, I bury mine but I have family that has eaten theirs, and family that have put it in a biodegradable bag and left it outside. It’s very normal in most cultures outside of the US to do something with the placenta.

[@michellebethplans]

I get that and I'm all for respecting everyone's culture and religion - even if I don't agree or vibe with it. However, apartments have rules and you have agreed to follow those rules. I don't know the rules here, but I'm guessing since it has attracted lots of insects (not a surprise - its decomposing flesh) it's not ok. The apartment is not their private property - it would be different if it was a house the people owned. Then, they can do whatever as long as it is legal. She's not targeting their culture, religion, or customs - she doesn't want to live with the smell or the insects that could very well travel into her apartment now.

[@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom]

It’s been sitting out in the elements, rotting and attracting bugs for days 🐜 … you can’t convince me it “doesn’t smell like anything” at that point.

[@issecret1]

Ugh

[@mikkat8613]

With story 5 let’s take a step back WHEN did that relationship start, the husband could be a groomer

[@kju724]

Went through something similar as the "spank bank" story. 24 folders in my exes email account of girls that we knew. One of a good friend of mine, one of my stepmoms cousin. MOST of them were sent to him. Totally ruined my trust in any boyfriend after him and my self confidence. It's been 7 years and my self confidence is still in the trash. My boyfriend now is absolutely amazing though but the trust took a long time to build because of the ex.