which attachment style do you have?

Do you struggle with your attachment styles? Or do you have attachment issues? Perhaps you struggle with codependency or unhealthy relationships. Let's dive deep into attachment styles explained, so we can better understand how to develop healthy relationships in our life. Perhaps you have a codependent mother, or an abusive relationship, an abusive boyfriend, or an unhealthy relationship, we have to look at our attachment styles to break unhealthy patterns in our relationships. In this video I will share with you the four attachment styles.
Learn more about attachment styles here: • John Bowlby Attachment...
The Four Attachment Styles of Love: • The Four Attachment St...
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@Katimorton]

I have an attachment workshop to help anyone struggling with attachment issues. For more information & to sign up, visit here: katimorton.com/the-shop/p/attachment-workshop-a26y6

[@BunnaySango]

The most important book I ever read was Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. It really opened my eyes about how we unintentionally send the message to our children that our love is conditional. It really struck a chord with me about how I was raised and why my relationship with my own parents is strained now. My own parenting style is based on this, a more compassionate empathetic way which makes room for all the emotions. Im not perfect and sometimes I slip up, but I apologise and tell my daughters that I am human and that Im still learning too like them.

[@williandalsoto806]

You're pretty cool.

[@jowyschwarz313]

My mom... She definitely suffers a lot of trauma.. She always could not hold her temper at me when im still kid..she was depressed..the confusing things when im still kid is often times after she all out her rage at me and mess me up, then she hug me and say "im sorry".but she definitely keep loop that behaviour at me which make my feelings so complicated and fucked up.Until now in my adultlife, in my heart.., this complicated feelings toward her, between love,hurt,sadness,anger, and lot i cant describe.. I cant believe this all those event from my childhood still affect me now

[@jowyschwarz313]

And You just remind me that every parent did their best.. Okay

[@________1516]

Thanks for the book recommendation!

[@user-ox6yt3wr8n]

This makes so much sense. My boyfriend (we're in our late teens) said I love you the other day for the first time. I literally ran for the bloody hills; crying and my heart racing out of fear. Love wasn't something I was given unconditionally as a child, it was always attached to some bribery, black mail, or whatever else...nothing positive though. The way my BF looks at me and looked at me when he said those 3 words, and the way he cared for me without wanting anything from me, it scared me. Terrified me completely. In the end we talked it through and I said it back, because if wasn't that I don't love him. After watching this, everything makes sense

[@Bellpower20]

They did their best, but our parents were unaware of their own emotional trauma. I would say, both my sister and I are Insecure Avoidant. Home was not a safe place so we learned to suppress our emotions. Fast forward 40 years, I'm just NOW learning how to identify and manage my emotions. I grew thinking my experience was "normal" and so I worked to reproduce those relationships in adulthood. Sadly, that means I tend to seek out people who are willing to treat me the way my parents did. That's the cycle I want to break.

[@David-eu1ms]

It might help to go solo for a while and develop.

[@sadiecreamer2417]

I don't know why but I cried all the way through this. I guess it's because it makes me think of my childhood. It all hurts so bad to even think about it.

[@evita6208]

I have a mixture of Insecure Ambivalent and Insecure Avoidant. It would be very helpful for you to talk about each style at length, so we can identify our core style. That way we know what we need help with the most and we can better protect ourselves from what negatively affects us.

[@patrickdallaire5972]

I was surprised that Separation Distress was part of a secure attachment style. I guess what really matters is how we cope with it.

[@niyugrey]

First of all you look stunning, love your hair 💕 I‘m currently working on my insecure ambivalent attachment style in therapy and last session my therapist described the secure base thing exactly like you just did!! My therapist is basically my secure base right now, I feel more secure in my everyday life because I have her support 🥰 but I am still very terrified of leaving her once therapy ends, that’s why she was explaining the secure base thing, to basically just tell me that it needs time and there will be the time where I won’t need her because then I’ll be able to self sooth. Well I’m not there yet but I’m doing my best 🤣

[@juibelly2318]

The timing of your videos is incredible xD Every time I struggle/think a lot about a certain topic you come about with a video about it. I really feel like you're looking into my soul every time I get that notification. What a coincidence that is xD

[@pmbluemoon]

I thought I was the only person in the world that heard "Go to your room" when I was expressing any emotions other than "be seen and not heard"... This gives me some starting points for another therapy chapter in my life, I would love to explore these more (They definitely reflect in my current relationships as well) Thank you Kati! 😊 I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving and LOVE your dog cameo! 🐶👍

[@dennissaji]

After watching your video, I feel both my wife and I were insecure avoidant before marriage. But after over 20 yrs of marriage, I feel we both have become secure. Most of your videos are lovely and informative.

[@whereloveblossoms]

Ahhhhh that is Amazing and really encouraging that it is possible for Strong supportive and Loving Relationships and more! 💜🦋

[@heather2000]

Love is healing...I wish that for us all ❤

[@Mr_Penguins_Pet_Human]

I think that's called re-parenting. It probably helped that you both started with similar styles and had a natural understanding of eachother. My wife and I are both mixed but also became more secure over time, especially as we both began to trust eachother to open up about our childhoods.

[@dennissaji]

@@Mr_Penguins_Pet_Human Nice to know about re parenting

[@dennissaji]

@@heather2000 thanks

[@mgracex]

recently been thinking a lot about how i am very anxiously attached to people in my life , not sure how to deal with that but i’m trying to be self aware, trying to communicate to my partner and working towards soothing my own anxieties :’)

[@avery-brown]

I flip between secure and anxious depending on the situation. Thanks for the explanation, I enjoyed watching the light fade in the window. Just shows us how long it took you to make a video like this!

[@jasondclark]

I feel like there is self work that understanding 'attachment style' could help with, but when you go down the list, I simply nod at every one of them as they each fit completely. I must not have enough self clarity to distinguish the styles and how I fit them, maybe in time I'll be able to understand more. Thank you for the information as always.

[@Amberk1985]

I also go back and forth between attachments. It may not be so black and white. Good luck on your self clarity.

[@oliverjasper4928]

I totally relate to feeling all the attachment styles as well. I think its important to note like Kati said at the beginning that it isn't always black and white. When these attachment styles were being discovered it was very much viewed as such and now with more analysis and experience on attachment styles its viewed a lot differently than black and white. I may have interpreted this wrong but how I percieved what she was saying is the different ways in which our body and mind react to our environment and how people that were crucial in our development reacted in a harmful way towards us growing up and how that plays a role in our attachment styles. it made a lot of sense to me in why it isn't black and white. Alot of the time I feel a secure attachment style when I feel safe and secure in my relationships and definitely the most when I spend a lot of time on processing, validating, analyzing what makes me feel that way and also thinking of what I need in my relationships to feel those things. When I am feeling the other attachment styles that she listed like disorganized attachment styles, insecure ambivalent and insecure avoidant. it's usually because something is off in those relationships whether it be friends, family, or romantic relationships. I treat it in the same way as if I'm feeling anxious around somebody or theres a trauma response. People say it's your body telling you somethings off, kind of like an alarm going off. When this happens I ask myself what is my body trying to tell me and analyze the situation to figure out what actions need to take place. I feel the same way when I notice myself having different attachment styles, What is coming up that is making me feel this way? I know for me it's been like a light bulb going off and my body notifying me that how someone is treating me is hurtful, or something is said or done to make me want to lean in on those different attachment styles. It's made me aware in situations that really unhealthy behavior is happening and its given me an opportunity to be able to address that in situations that are safe to do so. Sometimes it can also be a learning, processing experience to dig deep and see where those different attachment styles are coming from. I think a lot of times when we find ourselves feeling like were having certain attachments styles we find ourselves thinking of them as "bad" honestly though I think it can be a super helpful tool and very positive that we get to have these alarm bells notifying us that something is off and it's what we do with those feelings and information that is the most crucial. If we know these things and harness them to strengthen our communication and dig deep to get to know ourselves, and what we need whether that be emotional, physical, and mental and what boundaries we need for ourselves can be such a healing thing. And heck yeah to self work! I feel like it can be a daunting thing at times but it's also so healing and rewarding of a journey. I have to remind myself at times to not be so hard on myself and to be more patient with the process. I love the process of reframing our mindset too and just how big of a difference it can make. I find all to often that we as people while we are doing the work and learning that we are so hard on ourselves and put ourselves down for having feelings and in this case attachment styles that we have been taught to feel so ashamed and horrible about. It makes sense that our immediate reaction is to feel those things and enforce that way of thinking when I do believe it's a learned response for many because maybe people in our lives reacted that way towards us and further enforced those beliefs. Because of this I think it's so important to try to be more kind to ourselves through the process of healing, our thought patterns, and feelings on our ever evolving attachment styles. I know it's also easier said than done, and I definitely am not kind to myself 100 percent of the time but damn I promise it gets easier with time and constant self work. I know this wasn't the rant anybody asked for hahaha but I hope it was helpful to someone. I know it's something that has been helpful to me and I know everyone is different and different things work for different people so if this didn't resonate with you or it's something that hasn't worked for you I hope everyone finds those things that do 🧡

[@benjaminmadeira8442]

I have a mix of insecure ambivalent and disorganized attachment style. I know it is somewhat connected to my Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, and it helps me to understand how I can shift very much regarding myself and others, connecting to my distorted cognitive thinking (splitting).

[@pippareyne4601]

New subbie! I'm starting therapy in a week and your videos have been very helpful with making me feel a bit more prepared ❤

[@mohamedelshafey2879]

So, as mentioned attachment style can change over time if worked on. But do you think it can be deviated to other type if parents changed their behaviors with the person in adulthood? Thanks a lot kati for your videos, I really enjoy and appreciate them and I always gain new info and learn more about myself. Keep up the great work 🔥💫💖

[@bidster1000]

Thank you for the info. Loved the outtakes too!

[@teslaandhumanity7383]

Love 💕 the outtakes thanks for sharing

[@jkustiak]

I love this video It's a big eye opener and has answered a lot of my questions on connecting with my son at a deeper level. Thank you

[@lalitmohan3297]

Well elaborated ! Now I’m able to level up my self awareness. Thank you 😊

[@operoverlord]

Very enlightening. Got a lot of work to do.

[@h.5151]

This is such a good video to get a overall view!! Al other videos on youtube are so confusing. Now i finally understand it, and also al the problems that comes with unhealthy attachment

[@Ingifiorini]

Super cool video! Thank you so much 🙏🏻💜✨

[@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702]

Great video on attachment styles, thank you 🙌

[@abigealmayowa1001]

±2349155456106♣️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.......

[@talalotaibi7141]

Thank you Kati I remembered the dismal and heartbreaking day of my aunt's death I was so attached to her as she was so kind to me my health got worse then in last December my longtime past friend passed away too.

[@Aqua.man045]

You did a great job with this video and it was very informative.

[@Katimorton]

Yay! I am so glad you think so :) xoxo

[@hairyfrankfurt]

Your hair looks so pretty!

[@vincentmessink3176]

In my own interpretation i feel that attachment styles are based collectively on the “nature vs nurture” nature of your environment how much negative or positive stimuli you are exposed to . And than nurture for example how your care takers like baby sitters or family raised you .. were they absent ? If so you may be prone to co dependent behaviors and become clingy and attached to partners and friends. Love ur content and hope you have a great holiday!

[@cutemermaidaqua]

Kati, I appreciate all you do! You’re awesome and one of the reasons I would like to be a therapist when I’m older. I am so interested in psychology and helping people is super fulfilling! Also: For a over half a year now I’ve been wondering if I’m just EXTREMELY shy or socially anxious, I was wondering if you could make a video to help me determine which one it is.

[@Katimorton]

Helping people is super fulfilling!! I am so glad you enjoy the videos!! I am happy to make a video explaining the difference between social anxiety and shyness! I will work on it now :) xoxo

[@cutemermaidaqua]

@@Katimorton Thank you so much!

[@nikkimckay860]

Mermaid Daniela. I like your KZbin name also just been reading your comment and it's nice you want to be a therapist when you are older also agree we all appreciate Kati and all she dose she is great also I am interested in and would like to know about the difference between being shy and anxious I struggle honestly with my anxiety and because I get so anxious talking to people and being around people feel I have social anxiety be very helpful for a video and information about shyness and having social anxiety 👍🙂

[@raquelmarcalsantos]

@@Katimorton can’t wait for that video!

[@cutemermaidaqua]

@@nikkimckay860 Thank you!

[@heedmydemands]

I had been learning a bit about attachment styles and thought maybe I was identifying with secure attachment but part of what u said made me realize I'm probably not. I do for sure have difficulty with asking for what I want and also just having to bring something up that I think won't be a happy subject

[@ahmed2527]

I can relate with almost all of this. Thanks Kati. You are the best.❤️ By the way that's cute 9:59.😍 Enjoyed behind the scenes clip and bloopers.

[@dubtoons4640]

Amazing, Thank you

[@jamieirene6024]

Thank you for these videos! For those who cannot afford mental health care and professional therapeutic support!!! Very good if you, thank you for this!!!

[@tesslattery1832]

The way I thought I was gonna be secure but instead I was definitely insecure ambivalent or disorganized has me shook lmao. Also the doggo butting in is really adorable. She's like "I'm attached to you mama!!''

[@nannuky1128]

hi, i hoped this video's gonna help me figure out my attachment style but unfortunately it didn't... could you maybe go more in depth with each of them? i feel like i'm either the second or the last one, and I've heard the last one is the rarest and connected to cPTSD that I definitely do have. still not sure tho...

[@muhammadnirobahmed6718]

Thanks for the video

[@Katimorton]

Of course Muhammad :) xoxo I hope it was helpful! xoxo

[@Kristian179]

Hey Katie can you make a video on Parasocial Relationships

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! Sean mentioned that awhile back as a video topic he wanted to covered too!! I will work on it :) xoxo

[@michelottens6083]

What I have learned: Dogs have all of the attachment and caregiver styles at once, all the time. Also thanks, this gives a lot of good words to get at my disorganized attachment mess, and at what I keep asking from my relationships, while putting myself down and pushing them away when not getting those things spontaneously. So my self-diagnosis is I'm anxious, then avoidant when proven rightly anxious even the slightest as I ask for proximity, a haven, or freedom, probably all because of that complex childhood PTSD that my family couldn't possibly have attuned to, as they ended up smothering/dismissing inarticulate me over my perceived weirdness. And I keep seeking such relationships out, to somehow confirm I indeed deserved all that and no further examination is needed.

[@abbycadabbie]

I remember learning about all of these in my Child Development class in college. I am definitely disorganized 😂. I feel bad for my husband because I flip flop between clingy and avoidant. I don’t mean it but it’s something I’m constantly working on. We are about to have a baby, and I have been so nervous that this is going to have an impact on the relationship I build with our son. I swear to God I will never be anything like my mother though.

[@raymondmarchand8815]

I really like you and trust you Thanks for being so cute and honest. Thanks for your help !.

[@kevinevans7507]

I'd like to add Respect our space & possessions to the list of caregiver behaviors. Like Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Freak (trying to do all three at the same time) I think that list just needs the addition.

[@RoyTufts]

The death of my mother when I was 2 left my father as my only caregiver (he never remarried). I have no doubt that he cared about me but he had no idea how to show it or even deal with any emotion. I was in effect like a piece of furniture, or a pet, the question always seemed to be what we are going to do with Roy. I was never something to be cared for only something to be dealt with. I think this was a factor in developing BPD (I was diagnosed over 20 years ago) I also believe it caused what Kati refers to as insecure avoidant attachment style. Love was just something I saw on television or in movies.

[@mekman4]

Great Stuff!

[@Katimorton]

xoxo

[@MattFader1]

Hey kati, just wondering how can you tell the difference between a non-secure attachment style and adhd? The symptoms of both overlap in nearly every aspect, or does the attachment style supersede the adhd?

[@christroock7869]

Hi Kati, Thanks as always for your videos on attachment and just in general for all your work. It’s really helpful. I do have a question for a video topic. I notice you haven’t done a video on the 4 temperament styles. Could you do a video on temperament in general if you have the time? I’d love to hear your explanation on temperament. I also want to mention your resilience and commitment to your work during this hard times is inspiration. Thanks for what you do! Chris

[@abigealmayowa1001]

±2349155456106♣️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,......

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello people hello Kati this video is still interesting and informative as I like learning about new thing s you always have good advice to share lastly you looking very nice love your straight hair Style👍

[@kkoz83]

Is it possible to differentiate personal attachment when I have a physical disability, making me reliable on individuals for everyday living activities?

[@michaelr5361]

My parents werent there emotionally and I feel it now in my relationships. My parents werent bad and they provided but I never heard that they were proud of me or loved me. I brought this up with them and my mom tries now but my father just doesnt get it. With relationships I feel that if I see that person as a potential long term love interest I become attached fast and often get hurt because of it. I also tend to not be able to convey my feelings easily or dont want to for fear of being rejected because of them.

[@abigealmayowa1001]

±2349155456106♣️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,........

[@JustSomeUmbreonfromJohto]

Wow, insightful video. Didn't know there were so many attachment styles. Mine would probably be insecure avoidance and whatever other one that describes opening up. I have a hard time opening up and I don't know how to voice my feelings. A large part of this is because my mom sometimes would invalidate my feelings and attempt to brush them under the rug, especially the year after I opened up to her about the sexual abuse her boyfriend did to me. I was met with disbelief, almost being gaslighted into believing it didn't happen. It took me YEARS and lots of courage to open up about it because while it was happening, I gaslit myself into pretending it didn't happen. I didn't know how to process those emotions. I'm working on it. Maybe I need to have more indepth talks about my therapist so I can heal from this shit. I'm tired of being afraid of getting close to people.

[@abigealmayowa1001]

±2349155456106♣️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.......

[@plantxarmybtsgrowth5776]

That made a lot of sense lol for me and my experiences

[@kprenesti]

Does attachment always stem from parents? What about peers who were bullying, abusive or otherwise not healthy? Does that contribute or is it more a symptom of finding those relationships (if that makes sense...)?

[@ponyhaly6131]

It could cause insecure attachment style. I'm fearful avoidant myself (disorganized) I was bullied by my peers and didn't learn how to set boundaries. A LOT of work that I have to go through. I recommend "Personal development school by Thais Gibson" channel. I hope that helps!

[@GiraffesEatStuff]

I kind of function as multiple parts, and I feel like I was giving those secure attachment points you brought up to more vulnerable, hurt/scared or younger parts. I kind of lost that after a crisis following pretty extreme self harm, self distrust and unreliability in march 2018, so it's kind of made things go really bad and regressed in general since then. And the anxious or avoidant issues are really worse, so it makes a few other issues so much worse.

[@Katimorton]

totally get it.. I could see how different parts of ourselves can have different attachment styles. Thank you so much for sharing!! I hope you are able to find a good therapist and start healing :) xoxo

[@GiraffesEatStuff]

@@Katimorton hey thank you, I've been trying to feel allowed to see those types of people since then, actually^ Only thing I've cared about for about 4 years honestly. I don't really care about healing or anything, but I'm really trying to get there at least. Regardless thank you, I really appreciate that

[@kylapollard9275]

Hey Kati, my intentions isn’t to hate or maybe I’m the only one that found this. I like how you added the background music but it caused sensory overload. Could this possibly be turned down a little so it’s easier to listen to you? Or is it possible to have a sensory safe option? Or put a script in the description? I am really interested in what this video is about and I find your videos so helpful. I’m sorry if I’m coming across as special or needy.

[@idylla5972]

You can turn the subtitles on if it helps

[@kylapollard9275]

@@idylla5972 I’m visually impaired to. Otherwise I would.

[@delilahhart4398]

My mother has always been a consistent source of care and support, but when I was little, I still had separation anxiety. As an adult, I would say that I have a disorganized attachment style. It's not because of my relationship with my mother, but because of the rejection and bullying I experienced when I was in school. I am also on the autism spectrum.

[@morpheusgrace1071]

Hi guys, is there hope? I'm 30, diagnosed with Cptsd due to my "lovely childhood". I'm starting to think I'm doomed. I don't want to suffer like that for my entire life, clinging to the hope that's something's gonna change, or maybe "tomorrow is gonna be better". It's not like I'm excepting for someone else to do the hard work for me, I really don't. since the age 12, I had eating disorders, heroin addiction, 10 rehabs, toxic relationship with covert narcissist (etc). Despite everything, I never gave up - and rebuilt my broken life. Moreover, I managed somehow to finish my college degree recently (social work, I know 🤦) - and I'm fighting for myself with everything I've got. I've been in therapy (a lot of them actually), and it's useless (at least for me). Support online communities are much helpful and productive than "professionals" who usually have neither idea nor awareness of narcissistic abuse/ emotional severe trauma, etc.... After so many failed attempts, I don't trust anyone. NEVER AGAIN. All they did is retraumization (is that even a word? you know what I mean, sorry for my English). All those bullsh!t about "Just love yourself", "Oh, just let go", "acceptance" - Yeah, obviously theoretically and ideally it's true, but Jesus Christ, easy to talk! It's freaking frustrating. How can I give myself something (or - "reparent" myself, like WTAF?!? If I knew how to.... I would've already done it, wouldn't I?!). I've never been given or learned about?! I'm really scared that I'll waist my entire life hurting and trying to fill this Black giant hole within me. Life meant for living, feeling, experiencing, etc - Most certainly not for barely surviving them like an injured, starving and lost animal. And I Know it's supposedly "a choice", but common.... not really. Maybe it's not appropriate to share this here, but honestly, at this point I have nothing to lose, and I couldn't care less anymore. Just wondering if someone can relate or share their experience/ thoughts opinion... Whatever. Thnx for taking the time to read. Hope you're doing well, Anna, Israel.

[@wesleycolvin7158]

Okay, at first I thought you were doing a breakdown of one the characters in the show Arcane. This one (Powder) is a child who deals with a STAGGERING terror of being abandoned. For a therapist there is a LOT to unpack in this show.

[@Katimorton]

I haven't watched that show!! But thanks for the heads up! I will definitely check it out! xoxo

[@timtreefrog9646]

Roxy being over attached is a mood 🐶

[@slavesofrealitybyimperviou5147]

You look beutiful Kati as always. Gretings from me. Thanks for your job.

[@mackfam9798]

i love you kati have a great week

[@Katimorton]

Aww you too!!! xoxo

[@toukamamdouh1600]

how could we heal our attachment style and have a secure attachment after having a bad attachment from childhood..your video helped me see which attachment style I am but now I knew and then what !? how can I deal with it and get rid of it and have healthy one ?

[@MrMasterNorris]

Don’t stop what ur doing

[@davidk349]

First we feel known, and if this goes on for a while, we feel cared about, which means we believe the other's intentions are good, and then eventually, we feel belonging, which means we are entirely sure the other's intentions will always be good.

[@raywood8187]

Fight or flight sounds like an attachment description that I've experienced. Seemed like the only two options so it was a mutual flight.

[@_KungFuBarbie_]

Ohhhh no… Just realized that I am VERY insecure avoidant. 😅 Frankly I’m not sure why. I feel like may parents have always done their best.

[@samirataubmann]

How can you shift to a secure attachement style?

[@joshvaughter1088]

I have equal number of traits from both ambivalent and avoidant, but not all traits of either.

[@MystearicaClaws]

I'm clingy, and insecure, but also don't want to rely on people only for them to use it against me

[@johannapalmer]

Do u have videos on reactive attachment disorder also i have borderline personality disorder also detaching emotionally believing unhealthy fears buy fear or not knowing how to bond deep with people having emotional intimacy with Jesus or with others or both. Then pushing people away because things can be too much feelings of overwhelmed with things i need to face issues and shut down and go into depression and anxiety and avoid whatever i need to face. I feel frustrated trying to love or feel love recoeve love etc.

[@vladasofranic3633]

I wish I had more time to watch your videos 🙂

[@Katimorton]

Me too!! Hopefully you'll get some free time over the holidays :) xoxo

[@12Messenger]

I try to be vulnerable with my gf but the next moment I don't want to seem too clingy and overly possessive.

[@maceyr.6583]

After experiencing a dreadful breakup, my attachment style went from insecure ambivalent to insecure avoidant. 🙃

[@nikkimckay860]

I do get to comfable and attached to my nurse that was giving me treatment if that counts

[@bonnycheng7802]

Hyper vigilant from parents being over protective. How do I break that

[@necrionos]

i dont understand why the secure attachment is seen as the good way. i mean its terrifying that your own well being is depending on another person. if you require another person to find the strength to overcome your fears and other negative emotions, how can this possibly be a good thing? Iam certainly an avoidant style person and i can do all those things by myself. how can that not be the better attachment style?

[@miketufaro5915]

I didn’t realize that attachment was soo complex

[@scottthomas5819]

Yesss

[@jeremytaylor5831]

Are there statistics on what category most people fall into in the US

[@whereloveblossoms]

Can a Caregiver /parents imprint onto a Child that forms part of a child's character ? Even stuff the child doesn't want or like ?

[@Seyfettin0]

Hello Kati 🙋‍♂️

[@Katimorton]

Hey hey!!! xoxo

[@Seyfettin0]

@@Katimorton 🙋‍♂️😊

[@harriethutchings8678]

I don't know what it's called but my parents were only happy and loving if we were doing exactly what they wanted. Like my mum wants us to be with her 24/7 when we're not at university and when we're not she's super angry.

[@Shortkonner]

I'm so codependent....jeeze. but i had a healthy attachment style with my parents. I have a secure attachment with my fiance.

[@Lazer5051]

Can you be depressed etc and on meds long enough that you don't remember what normal feels like even if your therapy got you back to normal?

[@minikiwi1436]

How does attachment style relate to Borderline Personality Disorder? My therapist has referred to it as an attachment disorder before, and I'd love to hear people's thoughts!

[@nikkimckay860]

I have trust issues and I get very anxious and I think I have a bit of attachment isues

[@Katimorton]

It's possible Nikki. Seeing a therapist and talking about those things can help us heal :) xoxo

[@nikkimckay860]

@@Katimorton thank you It means alout to get a reply I appreciate you and your advice your videos have always been helpful(•‿•)

[@MusicJunky3]

I just like your hair , (There I said it... ) No offense or disrespect to the interesting text of course ! :)

[@danielc5205]

As the scapegoat, I never learned how to connect with people in a normal way.

[@pranavvashistha4821]

I have all 4 😂🤣

[@han2d025]

the further i progress into this video, the more i realize how much they (my parents) failed me.

[@lindanickell8565]

The very best they could do was provide room and board and clothing. That was supposed to make up for the abuse. My needs were met with anger, yelling or completely ignored.

[@JohnM...]

I'm 52, and my mum still tells me "be careful." That *really* f'ing irritates me. She sees ANY expression of feelings or 'negative' emotion (mostly sadness or upset) as a personal insult against/attack on her. Wtf? My style is #4.

[@daughter_of_the_king]

She sounds narcissistic :/. Just my personal opinion based on experience. Everything is about them. We aren't free to express feelings or screw up. Always perfection.

[@Marian-lx6ow]

I learned that my caregivers did not treat me well while growing up

[@wiskeeamazingdancer4964]

You aren't alone.

[@Katimorton]

I am so sorry :( I hope you are able to find a good therapist and can work toward healing from that. xoxo

[@1HeartCell]

"Disorganized", or as I call it, the funny thing where you start wondering whats going on with you and who you are

[@j0-zef]

Well shit ... how do you work on this if ya already grew up? Separation distress is the reason i don't have anyone huh.. self care I'm sticking to that right going frwd. the gut thing and being able to come and go that sounds important.

[@j0-zef]

Healing is a process true true

[@ebbenielsen7]

It's not always that clear why it is called ambivalent ... Anyone?

[@Lazer5051]

How can i meet you? i know you don't read thesel

[@tanyazelinka7805]

Hi Kati my name is Tanya and I need a good caring, compassionate, kind, patient therapist, Are you accepting patients?

[@slartibartfast2977]

Cool gold glitterbomb that blasted your shirt.

[@jgnmtz]

I bonded with my sister at early age because she was in charge of changing my diaper. She hated me for it. She was abusive , dropped me on my head , screamed about having to do it (as my father told me ) . I worshipped her until her death of overdose at 19 (I was 14) .. because I thought she was my mother (internally ) , I immediately, went into a death spiral ..I tried to use anything I could to kill myself .. cigarettes, alcohol, pills, speed, coke, ..until eventually I took all my moms Valium..luckily it was only about 4 or 5 .. my friend saved me by demanding I get up, come down by car and see him 9 miles away. I drove to the 7/11 bought a 2 liter of coke and a box of no doze and popped them all the way down to his house.. unfortunately he wanted to party so we drove 15 miles to main blvd amd crusied all night and drank Kessler whiskey and smoked pot.. on the way home in the tule fog I crashed the car and a cop dropped us at his house. I got so depressed, my friend noticed and screamed a bluff and gave me a razor blade. I cut my wrist off to the side (didn’t want to really hit the vein) , and he comforted me. I was finally able to come out and rebuke my parents religion and oppression and leave home at 19 forever! I stopped drugs,and any pills.. but alcohol remained an issue for 15 yrs.. I’ve been sober for 12 years now ..bipolar, PTSD, borderline traits .. but I’m happy I survived 🙏💙. Ask for help if you need it. You won’t be sorry

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello dose anyone know the email address for Kati I'd like to send a email question be appreciated