Whites Ousted From Role As Master Race After Racist Past Comes To Light

[@pietrosigismondodelvalenti6371]

"With white power comes white responsibility." Uncle Ben

[@aetherkid]

Jesus christ that was hilarious

[@martinsmith852]

Fact

[@pbg1204]

WOW

[@kansascityshuffle8526]

Uncle Ben’s

[@joshualucas1821]

Rudyard Kipling energy

[@Pouncer9000]

Genocide is a BIG no-no, this cannot be stated often enough.

[@Skaxarrat]

So much for the tolerant left, huh?

[@phant0m597]

“Damn all these ants in my house, I’ll just call terminex”

[@bigcheese1061]

There are quite a few politicians that need to be reminded about that right now… *cough cough* DeSantis *cough cough*

[@andylewis7360]

@@bigcheese1061 He’s white?!?

[@RockSolitude]

@@bigcheese1061 Genocide??? Mad sus bro ngl

[@sapiensursus3034]

They seemed so quiet and polite… you never really know someone, do you?

[@underbjorn]

There is still an ongoing investigation on whether white people were racist in the past. I strongly urge everybody to wait until the final report is published before making any assumptions. To the headhunter tribes in the jungles of New Guinea: Congratulations. You now hold the rotating position of master race of the world.

[@endoalley680]

They are typically quite polite and do follow the rules.

[@robertnkimber]

@@endoalley680 stereotypically yes, they are quite polite

[@sapiensursus3034]

@@endoalley680 I said this as a joke; you say it unironically. We are not the same.

[@endoalley680]

@@sapiensursus3034 No, maybe we are not the same. But I agree with your sentiment for a tendency towards politeness and cooperation in many white folks. Especially the ones who regard themselves as conservatives. Certainly not a universal trait. But a note worthy tendency nonetheless.

[@terry10tnj]

As a representative of the whites we are closely addressing these accusations and will shortly be releasing a ukulele apology video. Thank you and god bless

[@Tinymapleart]

Don't worry, we won't actually apologize, though. we'll actually just say you're lying or taking it out of context

[@BWC-Chvd]

@@Tinymapleartwhites shouldn’t apologize for the past actions of our ancestors. As we were not there nor are we our ancestors.

[@UncleRisky]

​@@BWC-Chvdyet you benefit from those atrocities nobody said you had anything to do with but with 200+ years of beating up om a certain race you have to understand they will mistrust your people because of the pattern of you know fcked up things

[@GlobnarTheGreen]

@@BWC-Chvdshites*

[@jessicalyell412]

@@BWC-Chvdexactly!

[@joshmartin7725]

Man, this cancel culture is getting out of hand!

[@kirklandday]

This is the implied punchline lol. The Onion is great

[@funnyman1877]

@@kirklandday how about you imply a punch in ummm uhh your line i guess

[@somecallmetim4490]

@@kirklandday you don’t say.

[@kirklandday]

@@funnyman1877 very funny mr funny man

[@belalabusultan5911]

bring fireworks to locals in other contienents, and have just 1 Hitler, and the allegations start. what's next? they'll cancel our annual genocide parties? :(

[@SnowyGingerAle]

Finally the inuits has a shot to come in and show proper management

[@lolasdm6959]

Personally I believe Homo Erectus are out, we need the dolphins

[@TojiFushigoroWasTaken]

This is bad news....the mole people will rise up now and claim the over world

[@CheckUnderYourFloorboards]

More like, snow proper management... My apollogies in advance.

[@SnowyGingerAle]

​@@CheckUnderYourFloorboards That's the spirit!

[@SpiceWeazel]

​@@lolasdm6959 Homo erectus have been out for over 100,000 years. Maybe its time for them to come back amd take over from Homo sapiens.

[@shrekatemyonions]

Wow… I’ve known white people my entire life, I had no idea they would do something like that… Just goes to show you never really know anyone these days

[@TojiFushigoroWasTaken]

JOTARO!!! KISAMA!

[@malbasedvalentine3210]

Man, wait till you hear about black people. Some owning slaves, killing other tribes due to their own beliefs of self superiority. Crazy. To think you know a guy.

[@crusadeknight896]

God,,, your right,,, I didn’t even know I did this

[@ed102196]

Lmao. Kealmiii bc I’m dead 😂😂😂😂

[@KJ.85]

Only The Onion could get so many people upset and spark debates over their satire news because they're MORE believable than the actual news!!!!

[@VongolaXanxus]

I don't know why, the main people who'd get mad at this vid are asking for white people to "use their white power for the greater good."😂

[@hayharut]

fam i wouldnt be talking, you cultists use the words racist, bigot and xenophobia the same way religious zealots call people blasphemers and heretics. youre just cult drones

[@mspaint93]

The embarassing people actually angry over this are so far up their own rectum they're emulating ouroboros

[@Cats_-jf4hp]

The news is constantly trying to get me to believe in women, but we all know women don’t exist, all jokes aside this is way more believable than real news

[@toolguyslayer1]

No people get upset because talk like that without clarifying yourself is basically being like an aristocrat a King a president and it is going to turn out to be all bad it is the people that have experience and the people that have none you can tell which ones are which buy their comments everybody knows it's a joke but still there are some things you do not wish to dance the fine line on but the joke is very so who's the joke really on 🤔🤥🙄👀🤨🧐😐

[@davidjosiahberryann6535]

I was really hoping to know who's stepping up to be the master race, because we can't just be equal after all that, that would be awkward

[@belalabusultan5911]

there are like 6 people in the world with a rare condition that makes their skin blue-ish (this was the real info part)..... so these blue people can become the new master race.... we do say royals have blue blod after all :P

[@jacencade4019]

Probably the Asians.

[@somkeshav4143]

@@belalabusultan5911 ewww not the Royals, they’re British 🤮🤮🤮

[@BagheerathePanther]

Dolphins were tapped for the role but declined after disturbing allegations arose in the wake of the #MeToo movement.

[@TojiFushigoroWasTaken]

Not sure abt the blue people coz if your skin is blue that person is heavily inbred (talking 7 or 8 gen of sisters couplating with brothers, hapoened before look it up...be warned freaky stuff) and idk if they'll be good leaders. The mole men or the fish faced men can have a chance if they can figure out life support systems in the overworld

[@RobbsHomemadeLife]

I need speak to a manager.

[@hornyclown]

I need to speak to a hamburger

[@Pretzil_Qat]

Mr. Trump is busy covering up more crimes at the moment, sorry for the inconvenience

[@demacolapoo]

​@@Pretzil_Qatbro had to insert politics

[@Pretzil_Qat]

@@demacolapoo I mean they did say the manager of white people

[@sciencechicken7669]

​@@Pretzil_Qat they never specified white people. Also trump is the manager of orange people not white.

[@Khepriem]

This comment section is wild. It's impossible to sort the ironically racist comments from the real racist ones!

[@sablesalt]

Sort by new

[@5minutesaway]

I am racist stop mass imigration and start mass deportation

[@miguelpadeiro762]

Ironic racist people are all racist people There are jokers and racists, if i joke about racism, I'm not being ironically racist, I am joking, there are too many "pepe the frog anon ironic racists" that the term lost any meaning

[@Khepriem]

@@miguelpadeiro762 There are a lot of people who disguise their racism behind jokes, and use "memes" to spread their hate. I would say it's the biggest way racism is spread today. But. That does not mean every single person who tells or laughs at a racist joke is a racist person. If the humor for you is from the racism, the you're likely racist. If the humor comes from how surprising and messed up what you've just said was, then you like dark humor... No pun intended. Done this way, the joke is at the expense of the racist who's worldview is unironically that absurd and morally bankrupt. I'm black and native indian while my mom is very white. I love telling her racist jokes and watching recognition of how messed up whatever I just said was. If someone were to see her gasp, mouth open, followed immediately by a smile she tries to hide behind her hand, and came to the conclusion that we're both racist... we'd probably laugh harder.

[@miguelpadeiro762]

@@Khepriem That's why I said there are jokers and racists, I completely agree with you there. You're not racist in of itself just for laughing at or making a dark joke where skin colour is the topic. I'd profile you in the joker side from your description But for the "ironic racism" online crowd, I gotta say, it's just a convoluted way of mfs taking their racists urges out online (aka the anon paradise where everything you say under legal boundaries will only get you IP banned from a private website at worst) KZbin keeps recomending me this "alt" meme account and his fanbase is all "ironic" antisemites I think it's what you call "post irony", behaving ironically online when you're deep down just saying what's actually on your mind. The disguising racism and whatnot behind memes you mentioned.

[@ISayEssays]

Welp this can only be settled one way. Every race needs to build a giant robot and duke it out for supremacy. And this contest shall be called "R Gundam."

[@JoeSmith-qy6qo]

id win

[@TheBanana93]

But.... there is only the human race lol. Everything is the same but our skin colour and some fascial features.... yeah there is variants in other stuff but the whole idea that white people and black people are a different race is just insane to me.

[@OswaldM_14]

​@@TheBanana93 We are the same species, but we are not the same race. Those differences you mention are genetic and racial.

[@JoeSmith-qy6qo]

@@TheBanana93 you forgot the martians…

[@TheBanana93]

@@OswaldM_14 That's just more BS to create reasons to separate us. Besides the idea of race and species are all just concepts we made up just like these words i am typing now... they don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. We are all the universe experiencing itself in different ways but ultimately we are all one. So think about it 😘

[@mehdisilini7296]

After hearing those accusations, I'll have to move the whites from S to b tier on my tier list.

[@haydenk6459]

Nah cmon man we are A on the tier list at least. Think of all our inventions bro

[@enadopato]

@@haydenk6459 most of them where plagiarized and automatically got a zero

[@mcdonaldsbreakfast1995]

​@@enadopato lie

[@albertoftasmania]

@@enadopato no

[@ronmastrio2798]

@@enadopato Lol it must be nice to completely deny reality because of your fragile ego. Whitey invented the internet you know.

[@stevewhite7084]

As a white man I deny this accusation,I was only following orders.

[@dbob132]

This is outrageous, how can we be on the counsel without obtaining the rank of master?

[@schnoz2372]

You need to learn to love sand

[@aubueruser7228]

We bait.

[@DrowzyDruid]

It is a great honour to be on the counsel

[@BrekekeReal]

Take a seat, ancient white race.

[@razeroftherlc646]

Take a seat skywalker

[@laika6661]

The amount of comments defending their skin colour, unaware that this is satire, is kind of alarming.

[@agwarddd]

You’d think by now, people know what The Onion is. Then again, some of these folks probably think Fox News is a reputable source.

[@HighValueMaxedOutGigaSigmaMale]

The white peoples insecurity runs deep…

[@kyles2232]

Make a video like this about blacks and see how it goes over lol

[@pinkdollangel]

@@kyles2232as if that hasnt happened before Some people can take a joke clearly you can’t

[@politicalanalyst1254]

@@kyles2232🤓☝️

[@BlueBeetle1939]

We had a good run

[@strbourne]

Did we tho?

[@daBEAGLE1017]

​@@strbourne depends on how you look at it.

[@idontwantgoogletofindoutmy558]

​@@strbourneabsolutely

[@junior1388666]

I'm still sad we lost our slaves. I don't wanna pick my own cotton, man😥

[@BurningFirn]

​@@junior1388666 hey. Your ancestors were poor and didn't own slaves.

[@anamedperson8160]

As a white person, i can neither confirm or deny that we have done any of these things

[@endoalley680]

I aint done them.

[@Captn_Trips]

I've never seen a black person with my last name.

[@TojiFushigoroWasTaken]

As an irish person i can 100% confirm my ancestors haven't done any of this....we were among the victims lmao

[@Former_Droid]

@@TojiFushigoroWasTaken yeah we were the actual victims, like, we didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not our fault

[@firstnamelastnamethirdname]

Thats what a racist would say 🤨

[@StygianEmperor]

who is the new master race? i hope it’s -high elves- *DA ORKZ!* *_WAAAGH!!!_*

[@kaipereirahernandez5196]

this is the opportunity that khajiit was hoping for

[@JohnDoe-nf6yk]

it's argonians

[@obi-wankenobi8927]

Tortles is my vote 17 base ac is too op it has to be them

[@mattmeyer6186]

TES6 will decide that. In 15 more years.

[@D34D22]

No the orcs will now take over with brute force

[@peacecraft3449]

It's very unnerving How many people in the comments section think this is real and are actually getting upset over it.

[@garrynewman6211]

Is it fake?

[@peacecraft3449]

@@garrynewman6211 My guy, it's the Onion.

[@Unknown_guy-s8z]

Lol

[@toolguyslayer1]

Maybe you and the 22 other people that like your comment can explain to me which part is not real 🤔🧐

[@Unknown_guy-s8z]

@@toolguyslayer1 bro this channel's name is onion ☠️ It's literally the OG meme Channel

[@Natalietrans]

As a racial supremacist I am so disappointed of the racism in the racial supremacist community

[@Awesomeficationify]

#NotAllRacists

[@adrianschroeder2798]

Is that the racial supremacy pride flag?

[@tired_5305]

@@adrianschroeder2798 thats the gay pride flag

[@Neurondeactivation5496]

​@@tired_5305 no that's the no bitches flag

[@adamyooz]

@@tired_5305 Nah that’s a Mint Gum Pride Flag

[@mitchelllamar4384]

But they made an apology video and everything

[@DestinyAwaits19]

White people are not actively seeking the downfall of others. It's left wing race baiters like this turd in the video who peddle that race card shit. White people are not the problem. Hatred is, regardless of whose festering it in their heart.

[@liyahhenderson9230]

You really think an apology video is enough after millions upon million of people lives take and heritage destroyed let’s not forget sacrificing babies and sex farms….😅 Just be grateful too being allowed to live amongst other human races, ok

[@gbh5912]

Who they??

[@kaleidojess]

😂😂😂

[@ogfullmelt]

No they didn't they got in their trucks to cry and complain

[@gordonramslay9955]

dammit white privilege was the only privilege i had left, now what am i supposed to do

[@davidthedeaf]

Stop driving so you can avoid traffic cop pull overs, do not wear hoodies always wear preppy clothing that is pressed and be clean cut and shaven, do not carry a gun on you, stay away from the hood and the rich folks housing areas, and be ready to record just in case. Best wishes out there in the jungle.

[@daftwod]

@@davidthedeaf But we can now do 25x more sex attacks, 4x more murders and let other races feed our kids. Sweet deal.

[@BillyTheKidOfficialYT]

@@davidthedeaf broo😂😂 omg this is an underrated ass comment . Yeah white ppl are now the hoodlums of America lol

[@skrrrtsusman3450]

​@@davidthedeaf sounds an awful lot like a serial killer vibe

[@Yeah_mate_sure]

I think woman are getting given more happiness and privilege then men in the coming updates it just needs a few more updates by devs to be introduced so youll have a privilege then

[@y.bowcat7782]

BREAKING: average guy that complains about "snowflakes" and loves "edgy humor" suddenly really upset that the jokes on him

[@jake-wu2nq]

Edgy humor is only funny when it's not at my expense 😢

[@nade7242]

real

[@ehtresih9540]

​@@jake-wu2nqedgy humor is the best when its specifically at your expense

[@N_0_I_Z_E]

Bro eate The Onion 😂😂

[@fink7968]

I swear at this rate it feels like right wingers are more frequently upset over jokes. The idea of white people every doing something negative can be very triggering for some people. Eventually it's gonna come full circle and conservatives are gonna demand content warnings for left wing jokes

[@raccoonmanthing]

Aw man, give us another chance

[@junior1388666]

we whites should all unite and say we are all non-binary. then they'll fear us again

[@ronardojohn1057]

You can try again in 100 years. Until then please enjoy your spoils and relax.

[@zeecaptain42]

This had me laugh so hard I scared a lil old lady on the bus.

[@D34D22]

Man we were just getting the hang of it:(

[@lolasdm6959]

@@ronardojohn1057 White man after genociding and enjoying spoils: "I have changed my ways"

[@WAFishQuest]

We'll tie this up in Appeals for a good 200-300 years.

[@Deckuras]

underrated comment

[@tyncmorgan6209]

😂

[@snafu5563]

#NotMyMasterRace

[@ChristianGuthrie-nj1rq]

😂😂 that’s funny haha and half the comments actually think white poeple were the “master race”

[@YaBoiDoi]

Mfs that get angry about "snowflakes not understanding DARK HUMOR", getting angry about a satirical joke on them is the funniest thing ever

[@DaddyMaster76]

I'm pretty right wing but I agree, like if you're gonna be honest and based and all that then you can't have skin thinner than paper

[@G-host0069]

Dark humour, I see what you did there 😂😂

[@IAmAnItalianPizza]

Yeah, they say "facts dont care about your feelings" but then go storming off when i tell them their opinion is not a fact

[@cmoney8979]

@@JustaSimplefact People who get mad at people for not "understanding dark humor" (racism) are mad at actual dark humor

[@W81Researcher]

Since when did snowflake be used to refer to the anti-woke?

[@milbruh6671]

Welp fellow dwarves, time to claim our righteous throne FOR ROCK AND STONE

[@Drag0nvil]

I for one would welcome the dwarven overlords if they sing dwarf song like Clamavi de Profundis would

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

Say, did you ever get mistaken for a ‘uman?

[@fghsinging]

Nah, Asgardians go

[@gunsevenwhillans420]

ROCK AND STONE OR YOU AIN'T COMIN' HOME!

[@atlanntis8064]

ROCKITY-ROCK AND STONE

[@polishmapper5968]

According to the article online, Polynesians have been nominated as the interim master race until a permanent replacement can be chosen

[@WM-gr4qi]

That's fair, they're the only ones who actually bothered to evolve. The rest of us have been slacking off in a big way.

[@ibear2554]

Bold choice. I am looking forward to seeing how they do.

[@masonrawls6436]

Ngl i'm white and I wanna have kids with a Polynesian so I can have superbabies.

[@ronalddg9369]

As a representative of the white race, I apologize on behalf of the entire staff. We were shocked and heart broken when we found out, but don't worry! We've started an internal investigation

[@zodfanza]

Underrated comment

[@zodfanza]

We would definitely have done something but it seems the history books that contained these records had been removed from our school shelves! Rest assured we had no knowledge of this and are doing everything we can to locate them! I'm combing through the school fireplaces as we speak!

[@totenahnlichestille]

we been framed by the jêw look at history

[@malbasedvalentine3210]

Internal investigation has concluded. We found an infiltrator disguising themselves amongst populace. Strange looking nose, small hat. Must have snuck in and started typing lies to the public forum. I do apologize for this unfortunate situation.

[@terrymustang73]

Waitin on the Asians and indigenous South Americans to do the same

[@chazer0075]

Who becomes head of the council now? Is there protocol for this?

[@creeperash07]

We hold a vote. But since the last vote was held by exclusively straight white property-owning men, we need to hold a vote between gay black homeless women.

[@chazer0075]

@@creeperash07 perfectly understandable, I trust them to come to the correct decision

[@Annoyed_Human]

​@@creeperash07lololol! U a damn fool. Lol

[@Duplexx9730]

@@chazer0075 And it shall be held at Rivendell hosted by Lord Elrond himself

[@zeecaptain42]

Just give us another decade or so to sort it out. We promise community leaders are working sort of hard on figuring it all out

[@TheOpacue]

🤦‍♂️😂

[@hhiippiittyy]

lol. You said "hard on". Giggity!

[@malbasedvalentine3210]

In another decade, another race will be committing the same atrocities ;) I do love when things come full circle.

[@Mana_Sun]

​@@malbasedvalentine3210yeah very true and I do belive it will be the Spanish and Asian teaming up! They're both similar in work and culture.. what do you think

[@casmar2042]

The question is, who's next up? What's the close-second best race?🤔

[@j.c.denton2060]

As it turns out, White people held the top 5 places on the list.

[@ehtresih9540]

asians

[@horsepaste]

​@@ehtresih9540 ☠️☠️☠️

[@isaowater]

arabs

[@andreworders7305]

Robots

[@daBEAGLE1017]

As a white man, I will take my future reparations now instead of later.

[@kaipereirahernandez5196]

Reparations for what? Not knowing how salt and pepper work?

[@junior1388666]

as a black man, stop playing Billy and give me your house and car already.

[@junior1388666]

@@JesterSatans I don't know what a "acre" even means. Just give me a nice house in belair and we're good! Wtf am I gonna do with a mule? Can I teach this bitch to pick up my kids from school? Think a Mercedes with a Jarvis would be cool

[@D34D22]

@@JesterSatans No now they get a 40 of old English and a Chrysler 300

[@Xela_Redna]

About that...

[@Parrotcat]

What rightwingers think will happen if we get equal rights:

[@ZtingerS]

What does this mean are you saying we shouldn’t get equal rights?

[@Parrotcat]

​@@ZtingerS Not at all! I'm critising people who think we shouldn't get equal rights.

[@ZtingerS]

@@Parrotcat im confused why would “rightwingers” not want equal rights (im not a us citizen sorry)

[@Parrotcat]

@@ZtingerS Dw I'm not american either. It can be difficult to understand political terms when it's not your country or language, let me explain; "Rightwing" is the term for people very far on the political right (rightwing extremists/ radical rightwing/ etc). The political right is against progress, against equal rights and often wants to go back to "better times" when discriminating was still legal. And they tend to act like asking for equal rights will lead to white people not having any rights anymore (hence me saying they think an announcement like this video would happen when we get equal rights). They're scared of losing "rights" when the only "right" they would be losing is the "right" to discriminate against other people. The opposite is "Leftist" aka someone on the political left, someone for equal rights and progress. I'd be a leftist. I think the only reason why it's called right *wing* but left *ist* is because it's easier to say but I'm not an etymologist. In Germany we coincidentally sometimes say an organisation has "a right wing" if a part of the organisation is very rightwing, so maybe there is some deeper linguistic reason for saying wing.

[@anonefr]

​@@Parrotcat you have been indoctrinated

[@arayahart3062]

People really complaining about a political joke on the onion

[@chadgarner9371]

Imagine if the "political joke" was about black people. This video would be banned before it was ever posted.

[@dudebro3250]

Spotted the antisemite.

[@rakeblightwood2115]

Only white people 😂

[@voxveritas7941]

Well, no. We’re complaining about their two jokes being used over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

[@meanberryy]

Literally everyone in the comments are in on the fun. You're fighting a straeman dude.

[@cg_bones]

The Japanese: “Dang that’s crazy good thing we “Didn’t” do anything like that”

[@Bustermachine]

I dunno, I heard people will give you a mulligan if you get beaten, starved, and atomic bombed . . .

[@cg_bones]

@@Bustermachine yeah honestly don’t look up what we did in Nanjing or in ww2 or in Korea or really anything

[@UrBoiiMunchy]

@@cg_bones that one japanese unit who sewed someones leg in place of their arm😬

[@cg_bones]

@@UrBoiiMunchy yeah that too that unit totally didn’t do some experiments on babies and std’s

[@borntopwnyou]

"Honorary Aryans"

[@danieldipalma704]

We can tolerate colonization and subjugation...but genocide is a definite No No for me!

[@danieldipalma704]

@Chiefarino modernized at the expense of millions of lives lost and cultures exterminated...

[@thebrowser6758]

i swear this whole comment section is an r/wooosh

[@mechamahou8467]

​@@vnolan633 nor for as long. While the rest kf the world was de-slaving, america was ramping up and fighting civil wars to maintain it. I love how the dude glossed over that psrt to talk snout how we "fought other nations to end slavery" lmfao.

[@mechamahou8467]

@Chiefarino white nations were selling their own people into indentured servitude at the same time, and had been enslaving or killing each other for all of history, including in Africa prior to that lol. Wonder where the Africans learned to sell slaves from? You ignorantly aloof people are so hilarious when you go throwing rocks at your own glass house.

[@evanhawkins6186]

​@@mechamahou8467 he was talking about the British who ended slavery not the Americans. Americans were backwards

[@torieldreemurr541]

As a white people, we shall address these allegations promptly and decisively in a way that is totally not ambiguous nor extreme. God bless.

[@W81Researcher]

How about stand your ground and not let a deceitful culture get to you.

[@TheActualRealDrPepper]

​@@W81Researcher Alright, it's been a week now. You realised this video is satire yet?

[@W81Researcher]

@@TheActualRealDrPepper Yes I read that last week.

[@TheActualRealDrPepper]

@@W81Researcher Cool 👍

[@obanjespirit2895]

​@@W81Researcher wow bro.

[@PandamaticBreakcore]

Don't worry! After a tearful apology and a comeback tour, they'll be more powerful than ever

[@PrimeCuts-hc5dj]

We are superior. We do not have to apologize to the likes of you.

[@MyheartisaFedpost]

​@@PrimeCuts-hc5dj Based. So true after all is said and done. Just comparing accomplishments alone puts us at the top.

[@PrimeCuts-hc5dj]

@@MyheartisaFedpost Exactly.

[@BillCipherMuse]

Maybe I should try that... or maybe I'll just reshuffle the functions of every hole on your face

[@sherry3301]

Now that everyone is Woke, They’ve CANCELED the Whites😮

[@10-eproductions25]

As a half white half minority person I like to give a half-hearted apology Edit: My god(s), stop telling me I should not appologize. In case people are wondering, this is a satyrical post. Its a woosh post. I cannot believe some people are taking this seriously.

[@CloverDaBunni]

As a half black person, I'll half heartedly accept that apology

[@marcodxd3631]

Is this the same person, but different personality?

[@CloverDaBunni]

@@marcodxd3631 no

[@10-eproductions25]

@@CloverDaBunni 😂

[@10-eproductions25]

@Tinselfect the politically correct term is hybrid😂

[@TheConfius]

Interested to see who the lizard council will chose to replace them.

[@thatolguynamedkonbreal]

IT'S OUR TIME!!! ASIAN POWER GO!!!!!

[@petermmm42]

Aren't most Asians white?

[@Google-Username]

Sorry, but the Koreans already had the longest running, most barbaric way of slavery and the Mongols and Japanese, sheesh bruddah, lets not even get into them. No. Its time for the Inuits to pick up the torch.

[@TheActualRealDrPepper]

As I read that I immediately thought of a bunch of Asian people doing a fusion dance and turning into a giant power rangers mech. Am I a genius or mildly racist?

[@boglenight1551]

As a white person I reluctantly accept this fair dismissal. We’d like to thank all whose hard work made the past millennia possible.

[@mimio008]

Hum... Yeah I don't think you're white. You might wanna do a DNA test and check who your ancestors were, cause this here, is not proud white behavior. If you can't afford the test, a free (and mandatory) test will be available to you at the next meeting. You're welcome.

[@yehooyahoo6861]

Oh so it was white people who did the work? Not the people they forced to do the work? That’s new.

[@3rdayesmokin657]

Dont worry u have a millenia of karma to deal with all the acts ur ppp have commited Revelation 13:10

[@boglenight1551]

@@3rdayesmokin657 Please don’t quote the bible at me while asserting that the child should be held accountable for the crimes of the parent. It shows both that you don’t understand the nature of my joke and that you know nothing of actually being a good person, or of prejudice. Lest you forget, the same bible you’re using to quote at me was the same used against PoC to pretend they were nothing more than animals.

[@Monkeyamingus777]

​@@3rdayesmokin657you racist

[@_johndoe_]

the emergency elections for the next master race is gonna be interesting. A lot of analyst predict a huge influx of voting within racial lines.

[@wiiwouldliketoplay]

I've heard the asians are running for reelection. But the muslims also make a good case as well. I think I'll wait until the race debate.

[@davespanksalot8413]

The Muslim *race* vote is only valid in the USA 😂🤣😆😭

[@lolasdm6959]

@@wiiwouldliketoplay Wait until you hear the Muslims are Asians

[@41-Haiku]

@@wiiwouldliketoplay I thought Muslim was a gender. I'm behind.

[@Pantsinabucket]

@@41-Haikuno it’s a type of cloth. Or am I thinking of Muslin?

[@Syffx.]

We were just in a silly goofy mood :(

[@Karansharma69420]

Nah bro wtf 💀💀

[@diablo55]

it was just a prank bro

[@draco9513]

He said It was just a joke💀

[@Screech911]

💀 boi

[@Tallawahphylosophy]

Keep that energy

[@tippetytap9437]

Wonder who’s in the running for the new master race

[@EllRiver]

Inuit if you'd beleive it.

[@keysystem]

@@EllRiveryknow what? i can mess with that. INUIT2024

[@UncleRisky]

The papa new gueinas are leading the primary right now

[@Tthemagicman]

Jews

[@eldritchteletubby9319]

The Onion has not missed once.

[@roberttrout1352]

It's not fair smh I've been saving my white privilege for about 32 years and just when I was about to take it to the White Privilege Store and purchase one of those "Majorly Successful life without trying "packages smh

[@wheatstonebridge]

Ikr 😂😂

[@LameWaysArtistry]

Not what white privilege is

[@dommiedarkoh8816]

​@@LameWaysArtistryabsolutely is what it's supposed to be. It's literally in the word 😆

[@livelaughloveyazmeme8147]

😆

[@seekdatruth2022cedricksgoldman]

You went to the wrong store you should've went for whites only pies black people i hope yall readin these Trump supporters comments wake up

[@brandon-9844]

Wow, what a great moment for Filipinos

[@SaturnSnapple]

White people in the comments taking this sketch seriously is depressing af

[@ogfullmelt]

They love to cry and complain

[@SpoonieRebel]

​@@ogfullmeltcrying and complaining knows bo race, dork. Lol 😆 🤣 😂 😹

[@krellion2669]

@@ogfullmeltman its that i like crying about things im just naturally obligated to do so because im white

[@froglegstastebestsalted]

​@@ogfullmelt yes notoriously no other races bitch and moan ever, absolutely correct.

[@ShidaiTaino]

@@krellion2669it’s a joke calm yourself

[@itsjustmechill.5292]

Fake news, we never officially announced stepping down.

[@52flyingbicycles]

We made a few apologetic posts on Twitter, but everyone knows we weren’t sincere

[@itsjustmechill.5292]

@@52flyingbicycles 💯

[@malbasedvalentine3210]

Only the wolves love to speak about their white guilt. Why is that?

[@valian8985]

Never step down !

[@themediaangel7413]

Very sad, but I’m rooting for Pacific Islanders to take over the role in White peoples’ stead.

[@nicknack-snack2]

They got my vote 👍🏽

[@aaron-pg9mv]

& aboriginal & african americans.

[@Mana_Sun]

Not gonna happen, asian and Spanish are gonna win

[@Mana_Sun]

Not gonna happen, asian and Spanish are gonna win

[@nynvib276]

Too bad man, that position provided alot of benefits too.

[@STEADFAST__and__LOYAL__M1059]

So the RACE THAT ENDED SLAVERY.

[@spencerrankin7481]

The devil works hard, but the Onion works harder

[@GippyHappy]

I can’t wait to see the apology video

[@TabascoSour]

I don’t recall doing any of this stuff, it’s all slander.

[@Apus_Gaming69]

Not all whites are bad. Look at us Brits; we did nothing wrong. And the Germans, even purer than us Brits. /s

[@davidthedeaf]

Germans being purer….😂

[@alexwhipple8228]

Can't forget the Spanish!

[@shonenjumpmagneto]

British isn't a genetic Ethnicity but English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish & German are. Anyone saying otherwise probably hasn't a clue.

[@chrisdawson1776]

"/s" 🤓

[@BigKnecht]

This but unironically.

[@rasengdori13]

This is peak satire.

[@kingofgrim4761]

So many people really be thinking this is the case too 🤣🤣

[@valleypanda]

It’s not satire

[@Spag419]

​@@valleypanda Are you familiar with The Onion? The page that posted this video? Because you may want to take a closer look before you immediately deem this as a real post. 😅

[@3dsmaxrocks699]

The book Roots, later turned into a miniseries, was fiction. And blacks owned black slaves and fought hard to keep them. Even Native American Indians owned black slaves. Just some facts that get swept under the rug.

[@chompythebeast]

@3dsmax rocks None of which was on a scale as committed by white settler-colonials, and even if it were, that wouldn't make genocide and slavery acceptable

[@Blackholefourspam]

I’m sure all will be forgiven after giving it a month to cool down, an apology tour, and maybe a rehabilitation puff piece or two from the NYTimes

[@poptart0714]

my white privilege card has been confiscated...

[@joecasey581]

As an irish, I find it unfair that I have to give up my privledge. I also was attacked by the british.

[@EyeLean5280]

As an Irish, feel free to drown your sorrows and sing old songs. Scribble a little poetry now and then and if approached by your wife for affection, pass out on the couch. (Notice my username, honey. Irish to Irish)

[@joecasey581]

@@EyeLean5280 I would appreciate that.

[@Yeah_mate_sure]

Sorry for what my ancesters did and are probably still doing

[@Bell1cross]

Lol, I think people get the concept of privilege confused. People want to be left in peace like everyone else that has it. Not burdened because you were a certain shade of color that day.

[@pateheckerwood]

You were also overseers..

[@EnormousPurpleGarden]

"The Master Race" should be the name of the 100 metre Olympic final.

[@valian8985]

Why ? Runing fast is useless ...

[@kettenkrad777]

@@valian8985 but its really cool

[@valian8985]

@@kettenkrad777 well, rockets, car, nuclear warhead, jet fighter Machine guns ect, are way cooler.... 😎

[@kettenkrad777]

@@valian8985 nuh uh

[@someguy5774]

As a white human I can confirm that genocide is a big no no but-

[@myri_the_weirdo]

But

[@Frankie._.164]

An all white world would be 😍😍😍

[@Py16777216]

😮

[@valian8985]

​@@Frankie._.164 based.

[@smartfella13]

@@valian8985erm…based! 😂😂😂

[@Doge811]

As a representative of the master race I want to reassure everyone that the accusations are totally false and we have faith the judicial system (that we definitely did not corrupt... ) will soon restore our rightful role as the leading supreme race.

[@TheFaro2011]

Can you stop calling everyone who doesn't agree a terrorist

[@geraldl5221]

Wow, how far will cancel culture go!

[@TojiFushigoroWasTaken]

Until it cancels itself...creating a miniature black hole that sucks all the stupid people in....then we will ascend to heaven with the help of a enemy stand called made in heaven

[@CARBONHAWK1]

But was he lying?

[@davidthedeaf]

@@CARBONHAWK1 nope, but sadly it isn’t just whites doing many of those things listed. Everyone worldwide needs to be ready to accept the history of their people, good and bad both.

[@ICECAPPEDSKY]

@@CARBONHAWK1 it’s deceptive yes because it leaves out 99% of everything else going on at the time

[@CARBONHAWK1]

@@ICECAPPEDSKY okay and? Is that an excuse for savagery

[@EncIave-]

Genocide is indeed a no no someone explain it to the Hutu and Tutsi

[@Tankcommander518]

holoucast,native americans

[@miram2053]

I mean global genocide will always take the cake but yes, they need to do better too.

[@Rt.hype646]

Indeed, but Hutu and the Tutsi's genocide were supported/influenced by there brutal colonizers the belguims

[@danielomar9712]

​@@Rt.hype646don't tell him thet , he'll get his white race card revoked !

[@TheFaro2011]

When you know so little but act like you know more....such a wh.....thing

[@renatocorvaro6924]

There are so many levels of brilliance on display here. Thank you for this, I needed it today

[@TheOpacue]

Right!!

[@thunderfart31]

your honor, I plead whoopsiedoodles

[@UnknownUser-ow5zb]

This is one of the many places Onion does well at: exceedingly ridiculous cognitive dissonance.

[@septixskeptix1107]

You misspelled white people.

[@kruggmichaels8958]

They're just telling the truth, it's not even satire. Things are going to be very unpleasant for whites going forward. Laugh now, while you can

[@flynntaggart8549]

Thankfully, all other races have zero history of such things.

[@melester1789]

You a funny guy

[@RaylanHorton]

Hehe. Yep. No history at all….. ;)

[@ChristianGuthrie-nj1rq]

😂😂😂

[@kenny995]

I'm so embarrassed 😔 we'll be taking a one month break and then returning with a totally not staged apology and an empty promise to donate to charities.

[@matthewskywalker2975]

Dang...welp we'll gettem next year

[@richardreinertson1335]

DAMN, I was just finally learning to REALLY GLOAT about my white privilege, and now BAM. The rug is pulled out from under me. Just shows ta go ya: Use it while ya got it.

[@nickb3345]

Have fun with Black women, but I forgot you guys cant even get your own.

[@nickb3345]

Stick with the Chinese girls. Indian and so insecure of my mothers German ancestry that its not even funny.

[@Thatguy101987]

Don't worry, we'll make a ukulele apology video.

[@ghastlyghandi4301]

Now that the wHiTeS are down from the top now it is time for the true master race to claim it’s throne… THE GAMERS! That’s right all ye bold discord kitties and Redditors, now is your time to claim your rightful place in the sun! (But in minecraft don’t worry you don’t have to leave your room)

[@52flyingbicycles]

A classic rags to riches tale. From the most oppressed to the master race in a single political maneuver.

[@junior1388666]

so you mean whites. again

[@alexandredesouza3692]

Ahem! PC gamers. Console players can return to their filth.

[@zeecaptain42]

Only the PC master race, though. Consols are popish spied

[@only_fair23]

The most oppressed minority. That's right gamers, it's time to rise up.

[@punking488]

It's kinda alarming that people literally can't tell satire from real.

[@cooperthatguy1271]

Geez it was like 2006!!?? Can we just let things go? People change!!! This isn’t the america I grew up in 😢

[@xzing7]

Tell that to the DIASPORA and their ANCESTOR'S.

[@aaronjackson1493]

​@@xzing7exactly 💯💯

[@kip258]

I'm going to send this to my great grandad who has no idea that the internet is full of satire. I'll report how it goes.

[@twelvevoltage]

Bro pls

[@shrimpking5098]

Where’s that report

[@kip258]

@@shrimpking5098 he died

[@shrimpking5098]

@@kip258 oh

[@2hot34]

Update?

[@BooksForever]

Fox News currently running this segment on loop, and has been for the past three years or more.

[@ChristianGuthrie-nj1rq]

You mean MSNBC 😂 why would Fox News run this?

[@BooksForever]

@@ChristianGuthrie-nj1rq - because Fox traffics in race-baiting outrage with no regard for truth or consequences.

[@turtle_mike]

This whole channel is so hilarious

[@heatherkabi]

This has been an open secret in the industry for years, but thankfully now people are starting to listen and rightfully theyve been stripped of their titles

[@albert1688]

The Onion is afraid to admit who took the role of Master Race

[@theojanastheone3116]

👃

[@danielomar9712]

Yeah , Me I am the Master Race Just me , ME !!!!

[@kinsmanredeemer6965]

"Yes, that thread on KZbin. Just flag it for hate speech or something. We can't have these ghoyim knowing."

[@Chrishd1]

@@kinsmanredeemer6965 Aren’t Jews white or they like middle Eastern with a touch of Mediterranean Or maybe just albanian?

[@j9lorna]

How dare you call me white. Im a person of light

[@Yeetly]

Its alr yiu just gotta tell ppl your background

[@carminecampfiresong]

For now

[@henrydoofawabble5801]

I mean technically everyone is a person of color, since white is a color.

[@assassinunknown6664]

@@henrydoofawabble5801 White is the lack of color

[@literally-just-a-leaf]

Ok since some people clearly can't tell: this is the onion. The onion is a notable satiracle group. This is a *joke*. This is *satire*. This is *not real news*

[@cinemint]

I assumed it'd go to the Asians but nah, they did all this stuff too

[@52flyingbicycles]

I nominate the 100 meter dash to be the next master race, but that’s just my opinion

[@BelBelle468]

Asians is too huge and generic a group. Maybe it should go to the South Asians, but only the Buddhist and Hindus. Probably the least violent race cuz of their religion…tho they’re still guilty technically lol

[@ronmastrio2798]

Sure they did but the Chinese don't give a shit if some crybabies call them racist. It's the white woman's burden to feel sorry for people who hate them.

[@miguelpadeiro762]

Mfs make gunpowder and spend centuries doing nothing much with it tsk tsk tsk🙄 A good race grabs a tool and turns it into a mass killing weapon 🧠

[@69SalterStreet]

Fun fact, Koreans had the longest chain of unbroken slavery in history due to their political and societal stability

[@sunkintree]

just when koreans thought they were in the running

[@69SalterStreet]

@Random girlypop 🤣

[@RealAfricanPatriot]

Fact check: False Slavery literally never happened outside of US, it was invented by whites in 16th century. Anything similar to slavery that happened or is happening currently in the world is not slavery actually, but something else entirely. Educate yourself.

[@autokrator_]

What? Slavery was never a major part of Korean life; serfdom and slavery aren’t the same thing.

[@41-Haiku]

Yeah, who says you can't learn anything from Koreans!

[@BlazefireSaber]

I'm fucking shaking and crying rn

[@Jabbersac]

And shitting and pissing and cumming?

[@mariabop]

Ok

[@trystanbooth3816]

i’m still waiting for my white privilege to kick in😂

[@NoKOOLAIDE]

Some people just won't quit until they can turn people against one another.

[@joeljoshyjoeljoshy7823]

This was funny though

[@SamSung-xz7jt]

[laughs in communist]

[@davdav4804]

There should be a big tournament where each race chooses a champion and the winner gets to claim the master race title for idk 10 years

[@cocobutter3175]

I was thinking melee at first, but it should be a race. The Race for the Master Race. I know what you're thinking, we all know who's going to win. But we'll do drug tests where THC disqualifies you, to even things out.

[@adamwilliamson1354]

😂😂😂

[@NiceViking100]

Underrated comment

[@miker258]

I say we compare accomplishments

[@seankingwell3692]

HUNGER GAMES, WHERE THE ODDS ARE NEVER IN YOUR FAVOR EVEN IF YOUR THE CHOSEN RACE AT THE TIME BECAUSE EVERYONE DIES A HORRIBLE DEATH IN WORLD WARS SO HAVE FUN CHEERING FOR OBLIVION!

[@michaelstaton1999]

I just wonder who took this as legit, and who the now so-called superior race is.

[@crossgilliland7280]

As spokesman of the white race we officially have no comment at this time

[@Grersh]

Do we know who the 2024 candidates are? I heard that Indians are preparing a long awaited campaign, but some concerns have been raised due to the voting power they possess.

[@louferrari1503]

You had me at, “a BIG no-no”

[@LantaeX]

😂

[@mrherrada797]

damn i didn't get to cash in hard enough on my privilege

[@s.m.4995]

It's very difficult being the default color on character creation screens in video games.

[@demolition3612]

Bro, the default color is different for every race in character creation screens, also they typically function with a hidden gradient, it gets darker as it goes to the right of the slider, would you rather they start dark and have it go brighter as it slid right? Its really a pointless argument at that point considering all visual programs have the brightest color on the top left and the darkest at the bottom, simply because the hex code for white is the lowest number in hexadecimal, and black is the highest number in hexadecimal. (I assume you were adding to the onion joke, but I figured with all the people in this comment section taking it seriously I would preemptively dissuade an anti video games argument before it started.

[@s.m.4995]

@@demolition3612 You are simultaneously taking what I said too seriously and also have the hex values for colors backwards.

[@TheActualRealDrPepper]

​@@demolition3612 You composed an essay to argue with a joke comment, just to get shat on almost immediately after.

[@Y0UT0PIA]

The joke being that for any of these accusation to be successfully levied, the group in question has to have already moved past the things it's being accused of. Tell 17th century America that it's colonial and racist and they'd just respond "Yeah, and what's wrong with that?".

[@silencemeviolateme6076]

I don't think that's it. It s supposed to be funny because of course white was never the master race.