Who Am I, Now, after Infidelity?

[@aishakendrick4044]

I find hope in rebuilding my marriage and finding myself. Sounds crazy but infidelity has been the worst and best thing that had ever happened to my husband and I. I don’t EVER want to do this again, but I am thankful for the awakening...

[@johnthomasmoulton8934]

Dealing with this is such a battle... "reduced to ashes" Sad but true

[@roylenekornovich3267]

John Thomas Moulton Yeah, that comment did a number on me too. I’ve been ashes for almost a year now. What a struggle. 46 years together and out the door he went. 💔

[@gatchcat1297]

Thanks for this video. I really needed a boost! I'm 6 months in after my husband's infidelity. We're trying to work this out. We've been married for 39 years. High school sweetheart s. It's been difficult and different for us. Everything you said was true, have to move either way to survive.

[@Dawn-tv1bk]

The boundaries I have learned due to this ordeal have been nothing short of amazing. My own personal growth because of this experience has been more than I expected. I know they say at some point it's possible to be grateful for the tragedy. I'm not quite there but I can see how that's possible now. Thanks for the video Samuel.

[@AJ-ls7tn]

I actually was thinking the exact same thing, but was soooooo afraid to say it to my husband. You see, I was the unfaithful wife. And I have never been my best self before now, 18 months post D-day. Even if he decides he can no longer be with me....I'm ok...I truly am. This 'new' really is phenomenal. Full of everything. I could NOT have made it by myself. The videos helped me deal with what I put my husband through. He has never watched 1 to this day. I used all of the knowledge shared here, hence I am alive today, my marriage is alive, and we are thriving today.

[@laniec.f.2531]

When I think about that little blurb, "grateful for the tragedy", I immediately get angry. I am at the point where I think to myself that I will never be grateful for what I have been going through. It's been a nightmare. What am I supposed to do, find this other woman and send her a thank-you note because my life might get better? I still have a lot of unresolved anger and that is where my mind goes when I think of this situation making my marriage better. I know, I am rambling. I understand the logic, but the anger is still in the way. I believe I spent a lot of time coming out of the shock of what happened and then the anger slowly started revealing itself, and now I am trying to figure out how to process that. When I hear things about my life being better because of this, I do get a little bit angry.... like I'm supposed to thank these two people for what they did? Through all of this, I remain unbelievably grateful for finding this channel. Without it, I shudder to think where my mind and my life would be right now.

[@themountainsandthesea4121]

@@laniec.f.2531 it is ok to be angry. It is part of the process. No, you don't need to ever thank your spouse and the AP for cheating,but you can and will grow through this experience--that is what there is to be thankful for.

[@lifecanbebeautiful6548]

Thanks, I needed this and have been in every stage of emotions after my husband's emotional affair. 2 years later I got stuck in a trigger that brought back all of the emotions as if it was yesterday. I am fighting to get back but this video reminded me that I am different.

[@Tribe-of-Dan]

Sometimes I watch these videos and they are exactly what I need to hear. Thanks for all you do.

[@Jeradactile]

Well, I cried through most of that... Good video

[@samshealingpodcast]

i'm sorry but not sorry brother. get it out and process it. you're doing so good my friend. i'm honored to be a quasi-friend and brother to you as you heal.

[@tylerhicks2787]

I will never forget waking up to her cries. I dream about it every single time I sleep. I deserve to never forget it

[@mykonyte]

I needed to hear that this morning

[@samshealingpodcast]

so glad. thank you for sharing that. encourages me so much.

[@michellecook-hill]

I was just starting to figure out who the new me might be & another disclosure. 6 years out. I don’t know who or what I am besides devastated. What next

[@hwasik1566]

How do you face the fact as the betrayed that you can no longer look at your spouse or the marriage the same, without becoming bitter and cold?

[@iroclife7909]

h wasik I would love to see an answer to this question.

[@samshealingpodcast]

it's vital you accept that fact and then get help to heal from the bitterness and cold. it takes hard work and time to let that hard work settle in and help you heal. it's normal to feel what you're feeling and almost all betrayed spouses feel that way till they are able to process the pain and get the help they need to heal.

[@MrTrevorjc1]

Great video...thanks Sam.

[@hawktchr8]

Oh Lord. “Reduced to ashes.” That’s me.

[@angus10538]

Good straight talk. Truth.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you sir

[@carolerbph.d3567]

Thanks for sharing a great video...very good topic...

[@victoriagrow647]

Samuel I love that shirt man!!

[@samshealingpodcast]

hahahahaha. thank you my friend. appreciate that so much. blue is my favorite color for sure. andddddddddddddddddddddddddd samantha picked it out for me.

[@laniec.f.2531]

Blue is my favorite color as well. For some reason, it is a comfort to see Samuel wearing what appears to me to be fairly similar styles of shirts. The fact that he doesn't wear loud colors and crazy patterns seems to keep the focus on the content in the video. Does that make any sense? Samuel is a wonderful speaker and makes his points very well. He's always been a comfort. Kind thanks, as always.

[@canadaizacorp2203]

Hello samuel .. my spouse has what appears to multiple addictions and is a sex addict ... im feeling very discouraged when i look around for information ... one doctor i came across here on youtube said it is the fault of the betrayed ... and others say it is an addiction that never is truly under conttol ... did you not say at some point that you were indeed a sex addict .. im sure i heard you say this in a earlier video ... am i wrong .. because you give me hope but hearing that i am the problem for my spouses addiction seems nothing less than cruel ... thank you for all you and everyone at AR do

[@samshealingpodcast]

you're not the problem. i'm sorry but that's absurd and victim blaming and carries no truth. i was labeled a sex addict by those who were angry at me, but was not and am not an addict my friend. even if he is an addict, he can change and heal, IF he wants to and does the work. i would find an expert that deals with infidelity and has 10 to 20 years of experience treating it. you can also take our free bootcamp and look at our harboring hope course for betrayed spouses here: www.affairrecovery.com/product/harboring-hope www.affairrecovery.com/surviving-infidelity/first-steps-bootcamp if he's serious, he will be willing to do whatever it takes. if he's not, then he's not safe and probably not serious about his healing or your healing. i'm sorry but it's just the facts of addiction.

[@canadaizacorp2203]

@@samshealingpodcast thank you ... i agree with you ... it seems absurd to say the least ... my spouse was abused at a very young age ... not sure if its addiction or trauma and acting out ... we will both be signing up .. my spouse is happy to seek help after many years with few options that seemed like they might be worthwhile... it was the watching of a few of AR videos that finally flipped the switch for my spouse ... thank you again

[@micheledomin-jones4062]

I’m the betrayed twice now. The pain hurts so much iI wish I was dead

[@AffairrecoveryLLC]

Michele Domin-Jones if you feel you're a threat to yourself, you need to call the suicide hotline asap at 1-800-273-8255

[@myrnamendez8013]

Pray get close to God. You will be okay with or without him. I've been there. Don't give up

[@bigmoma81]

I just want to do life with my husband. Broken and new...

[@tylerhicks2787]

All I read about forgiving myself for cheating is too "forgive myself" HOW. I can't imagine just saying "I forgive me for what i did to ro hurt the person I love the most" I don't see hoe thst is realistic or possible

[@emilytaylor1001]

❤

[@isabellagosali]

Thankyou

[@rogzettalipscomb8340]

my spouse cheated on me we are divorced for a year now.we are still friends but I do still love him and miss him so much.i want to try to get back together.