Whose stories are we living? | John Sautelle | TEDxCanberra

[@TheRubenZepeda]

He would make the best ancient history teacher - i feel he has the compassion and understanding to teach things as they were, not as they were written about.

[@juanlsalazar]

I have SO many stories whirling around in my head I was unaware of until listening to this talk and reading the comments... I need to come back to this

[@michaeljennings9599]

There are so many ways to frame our lives, why not choose the most positive story to go with it? Thank you for this reminder John.

[@aylamorris]

Absolutely John we are so driven by our need to make sense of things sometimes we miss the whole point of just experiencing the things!

[@rheeslewis]

What a game changer John, finding the story that's trying to protect me.

[@taniagill4673]

Oh yes I love that I have come across this!! I'm so fascinated by the way we're programmed to have these responses because we think 'oh this is what's happening so I have to act like this because this is what it means." but realistically we have all the power and ability to control that narrative and our responses!

[@1thekarmacollector]

We all have inspiring stories

[@annerossiter]

a ted gem, hidden then found.

[@annmerrychristmas]

Nice send Karma!

[@abbeylordes7918]

Well some have inspiring stories, some just have stories.

[@jonrhome]

and we all have horror stories too, which ones do we tell?

[@abbeylordes7918]

@@jonrhome yes very true.

[@Me-lolahernandez]

I have always believed we have a choice every single day in how we want to perceive the world around us, how we want to interact with it. Bad things are always going to happen. We are always going to find obstacles in the way of what we really want. It is so easy to play victim, to get lost in the sorrow and the pain, but when we consistently and resiliently work through those feelings the lessons that are on the other side are always so fulfilling. Thank you John, this is really a beautiful topic to speak about

[@johnsautelle4547]

Thanks Lola - you have expressed that beautifully!

[@suzyqsuzy]

Yes! Exactly this!

[@MisterekMr]

This is very much the reality I thik

[@alanwbell]

Astonishing talk. All about why it happens and the reason.

[@peoplepower100]

What's my greatest fear is that I actually achieve this change? That's a great question that will keep me awake tonight.

[@pujadhara8401]

This stories is amezing. I loved this talk, the way you presented it. So lovely!

[@wadecampster]

Stories always impact our life, even if we don't notice that.

[@dipanwitasengupta1469]

Very inspiring story you said. Thank you for sharing such a story..👍🏼

[@idreamtranslator1]

There are stories we should listen to and stories we need to investigate before taking on. People are too quick to judge without seeing the bigger picture.

[@khloetaylor1674]

Wow I'm so glad I came across this talk... has definitely helped me understand a few things about why I am the way that I am.

[@whatmotivatesyou6449]

brilliant

[@officialsefrey]

this is a marvelous perspective. i dare say a lot of our judgement comes from societal conditioning, and the only way to get rid of that is through a revamp of society, which i really think is on the rise.

[@johnsautelle4547]

I agree. I believe the most powerful collective stories are systemic - driven by how we structure our society. Changing those stories requires interventions at the same level.

[@officialsefrey]

@@johnsautelle4547 yes very true John, thanks for replying.

[@chancesestor]

Amazing story about the stories we are living.

[@rainithacker]

It's constant, us projecting, or taking on things we shouldn't and wouldn't if we were more in tune with ourselves and our emotions.

[@IamLegoMan]

I loved every second of this vid...

[@charliebrownabel]

I chose one story that changed my life, but it wasn't easy, I had to work very hard at it!

[@julianm8639]

it's easy to get carried away assuming our internalized narratives are the only way to do things

[@rimimukherjee4974]

Wonderful video

[@thetrevorbinder]

I think I know a few people who need to hear this talk...myself included :p

[@basilfaulty7643]

I feel like he's just getting at healing childhood trauma? I suppose we have only come to understand the importance of healing and what it means to own our stories and truly learn the lessons that have presented themselves

[@thesebrokendreams]

Perhaps you are right, we all have trauma from our childhood and we just project that into our current situations.

[@coreykansasbell]

Man this is so true, I lived through my first wifes bad childhood, it dragged me down. I wanted to help but she stayed where she was. Eventually I couldnt take it.

[@iamaspacefreak]

Man Corey, good link to send, I get it. Is this guy an Oz?

[@sherrieglewis]

Thank you Corey a lovely talk to send me.

[@jonjrarcher]

She wasn't the best choice Corey thats for sure.

[@tomdashwood9578]

we all have people in our lives like this, I think we men tend to be rescuers.

[@iamaspacefreak]

@@tomdashwood9578 thats an understatement..

[@TrioTelopea]

I resonate with the part where you say "when a story about yourself is too painful to own, we unconsciously project it onto others to carry it around for us. It becomes our shadow." You put it so well - I have walked in a shadow and only very recently I brought things into the light. It's nice to know I'm not alone in experiencing that sort of thing. It's refreshing! And I can't agree more about facing the darkness of that terrible part Australia's history. Shying away from shame and embarrassment just seems to perpetuate them. I also love "Labels that do linguistic violence to the complexity of who we are as human beings." Thanks for sharing your wisdom

[@johnsautelle4547]

Thanks for sharing Emma. I think it is really interesting the way this plays out collectively, as well as individually. And I agree - it is nice to know we are not alone in this.

[@tylerkmorris]

very true.

[@jaymoneyDollaHolla]

👍

[@maxpoyntz4960]

I feel sometimes that I am living every other story except my own, TV, the net everything always telling me about something else and not me!

[@johnsautelle4547]

Interesting reflection Max. I think our virtual world both amplifies and creates stories that continue to shape who we are and what we do - in both helpful and unhelpful ways.

[@jakobdewl]

It is so easy to get stuck in a cycle of negative stories and thoughts, perspective is everything! Fabulous talk!

[@rosiealturo14]

It truly is! Such a good talk wasn't it? So so good

[@calvinhostetler]

Too easy to get stuck.

[@phyllishack]

It can be so exhausting

[@rontjacks]

Fear of losing power and authority, that truly is our biggest barrier for systematic change.

[@sarahyjames]

The story about chocolate cake makes me remember my childhood... Situations like that only made me comfortable for society, not for myself.

[@johnsautelle4547]

I really like your insight Sarah - so much social conditioning starts with the stories we inherit - from our families and our culture.

[@sarahyjames]

@@johnsautelle4547 Thank you John, wonderful talk!

[@johnpederson3085]

We have to be careful while telling the stories. We have to be responsible and understand what impact we can make on other people with the help of our stories.

[@channelcannes]

This really got to me and I am not entirely sure why but I feel I have some serious journal writing to do.

[@careytmoore]

I can't help but think about the times that 'gossip' has created reality. I worked with a person who planted negative seeds about specific people, and one by one they were shut out and either left or were managed out. I've learned to watch a persons actions measured against what they say.

[@albinachatton4390]

Such a valid point! I remember being apart of a management team once that actually made a point of getting rid of such toxic people, or speaking to them and explaining to them what was wrong.

[@johnsautelle4547]

Casey - that is a great illustration of how hard it is for someone to escape labels given to them, through gossip or otherwise, which set up self-fulfilling prophecies for those who hear the label and can then only experience the person through the label.

[@tarangsarawgi7224]

I just want to tell you that wanting that big piece of cake when you were just a child was not wrong. Ppl especially parents should be more caring and understanding. Scars like this stay forever, especially when you are very young.

[@thrasherjoe]

haha yep I remember...

[@jessicamahmed]

Yeah I'm really over grown human's thinking that children should be acting grown as well. Let them be free while they can.

[@gemmaatterks]

Let kids be kids I say.

[@derekjohnston2105]

Default behaviours keep you stuck. Intellectually it makes absolute sense, however emotionally wrapped up in it, is a whole different story.

[@officialsefrey]

couldn't agree more with you!

[@elainaarenz]

yeeeah it's hard to get over that

[@boogerrhymes]

And ya know, if we were taught mindfulness in school, we wouldn't have to go through have the stuff we do in our brains.

[@maxpoyntz4960]

Very valid point!

[@bentsimmons]

They are teaching it now at least!

[@vajragem]

I was taught such things in school and I still struggle at times. I think it is society.

[@parksungwoo4730]

Aboriginal people and the white stories about who they are breaks my heart. If you have a child, and you give them nothing, take away everything including their ability to express who they are and you keep them confined to a place, how could this child possibly thrive.

[@johnsautelle4547]

Park - I share your heartbreak.

[@julie-chan]

Everyone has a hidden story. Not everyone can make peace with their stories and move forward though.

[@oscarnotreallyawiener]

The truth. Can be real tough

[@johnsautelle4547]

Julie and Chan - I agree it can tough - and at the same time with the right help and support I believe most people can find some way forward.

[@thesebrokendreams]

I think some people don’t even know they are living that story

[@guntherhofer]

He makes change sound so easy, simply change your story.

[@elainaarenz]

i think if u keep repeating the same story to yourself it eventually comes true

[@candyengelhardt]

If we were conscious, we'd take action and lean in. What??? A must watch.

[@franklinpgarner]

thanks for sending Candace, really appreciated this one hey.

[@emmajchance]

Living in fear, allowing the same narrative to repeat itself. It's draining for everyone. We really must be so careful in how we portray and relay our stories, and ensure we are healing!

[@evanmosk]

Agreed, we must unpack all of it and see the real truths, the reason causes and work to be better.

[@jacquelinehogan3313]

Many times I have found myself repeating something I've experienced or that has hurt me in my brain. I always try to be aware of it and change the narrative. It can be very exhausting. Especially when I try and talk to someone about it, I feel that not everyone really wants to do better or be better...

[@thesebrokendreams]

To be constantly do this is exhausting, I agree. I often slip back into old thinking habits without realizing. Next minute, it has been three days of ruminating and then I try to switch the narrative. So difficult, but I think it is worth it

[@robertlcbranson6834]

The brain hurt. I know that one. I call it the same. When I'm in a spiral of the downward kind, I call it brain hurt.

[@adammayhew]

I genuinely believe though if we can we should talk about it, it helps us to be more honest

[@smilingputin]

Yes, exhausting is a good way to put it but it can pay off

[@justinberdand]

Awareness!!! Of course. He has a book. 'Change Your Stories, Change Your Life'. Great listening and much to learn here. I'm pretty sure the book will be impressive and helpful.

[@itsmesamrendall]

brilliant!

[@derekjohnston2105]

Definitely looking it up!

[@hughshotton8920]

Fantastic talk! It's so hard these days to be able to remove ourselves from false narratives our brains come up with and see the big picture.This guy is quite brilliant.

[@johnbradey]

yes he is, and yes true!

[@elainaarenz]

i loved his perspective, i think it really helps

[@slavacroates]

Our stories, or lived experiences shape our perspectives, and our perspectives are who we are.

[@ashgadah]

but we can always change our perspective!

[@logan-steele]

Unconsciously, we can do a lot of strange things really.

[@jacquelinehogan3313]

Chuckled reading this comment. You're not wrong!

[@jonasblix]

My mothers, thats who, my mothers story who never had enough, kids (like me) not smart enough, and husband doesnt earn enough. And I had enough and havent talked to her in 3 years.

[@johnsautelle4547]

I feel for you Jonas. And I wonder what it would take to heal the hurt...

[@keithpotter7366]

Fear a 4 letter word that carries the weight of the world.

[@johnsautelle4547]

I think what you say is true now, Keith, as much as it has even been in human history.

[@keithpotter7366]

@@johnsautelle4547 Thanks John, your talk inspired me to think bigger.

[@oscarnotreallyawiener]

I see now how some stories I have are actually making my life more debilitating than it should actually be.

[@basilfaulty7643]

Incredibly how easily we can trapped in a negative loop

[@dannyturkin6229]

I feel you!

[@parkercbowles]

Oh wow the thing about the coffee experiment is wild! Like... what?? Okay... how the heck are you meant to know what's sub-consciously affecting us if it's THAT easy?

[@oremorziurgnivri]

¿quien mas esta aqui, por que al hacer una descarga ilegal de peliculas, lo trajo a esta basura?

[@joopanders]

Not what I expected at all. I love the way John ensured to tell his own story to understand that perspective before delving into that of our history and how that story is told. Important stuff.

[@thisislife8931]

yes true

[@johnsautelle4547]

Thanks Joop. My motivation in sharing my stories is to help others, and ultimately help create a better world - so your support in getting the word out is appreciated!

[@chelseaavaonil1380]

Hey, I never lose control over my life- even my New Year resolutions! But I am a perfectionist, that's not just an inherited quality, but involves long, hard work.

[@actionfigure2191]

I'm sorry who slaps a kid on their birthday for taking the biggest piece of THEIR cake?? Especially when it's not even their fault the cake was cut wrong? John's Aunt has a lot to answer for.

[@micdaskel3313]

We are not conscious of our own thoughts, what a wonderful talk. A lot of food for thought here!

[@jakobdewl]

At first we aren't., but with practice we can be!

[@rakeshjaiswal6869]

Amazing video, really it is the most relevant and valuable for me. Really, we can easily know tips about John Sautelle stories. I appreciate this video.

[@piyalinath9630]

Excellent tutorial video, really it is the most relevant and valuable for me. Really, we can easily know tips about John Sautelle stories. I appreciate this video.Thank you.

[@pujaghosh6059]

The stories we are told have a big influence on us. They form our attitude, our perspective, our fears.. This is why I have always been very careful of the stories I hold on to.A very eye-opening talk John, Thank you so much.

[@dustyevans2130]

Oh wow I was not expecting how piercing this talk was... I wasn't ready to ask myself some of those questions!!

[@iamthefootyfan]

Funny how I had never really thought about it this way. My excuses, my stubbornness... Seems I've got to let go of some stuff

[@thereallybigdog]

I've always loved the story about psychological priming that he tells near the beginning of the talk.

[@arpitajana9309]

Man this is so true, I lived through my first wifes bad childhood, it dragged me down. I wanted to help but she stayed where she was. Eventually I couldnt take it.

[@gabrieldmateo]

How many of us have "unhelpful stereotype stories" about race, gender and disabilities? The truth I think is that we all do at some level.

[@gaiasardoni]

Ooooh I love this concept! Kind of ties in to that 'linguistically enforced mass hallucination.' that we're all having.

[@calebdonnar]

"I must always give people what they want, or they'll get angry and I'll be punished" - are you suggesting that's not true? Time to do some thinking I guess 🤔

[@harryduganesq]

Oh that birthday cake story! Must have been a fairly pivotal moment in young Johns life!

[@joanguckel]

Oh my, I understand the idea now. We, unconsciously, take others stories as truth. But it's only their own experience.

[@ashleygreynolds]

Thank you for this reminder John, sometimes I forget just how easily we can shift our thinking towards something more positive.

[@gabekilljoy]

Brains and our wiring impact so much of our experience. This really puts things in perspective.

[@camilaanders3419]

Love it John, and completely agree with you. All of existence is just a collective of stories.

[@6misslyss]

John deserves much more recognition, or at least more of a platform to share his lessons because honestly, his demographic could learn A LOT from him.

[@madsdx8397]

Isn't it interesting to think about where all that stuff we identity with comes from? Great talk for prompting that headspace.

[@lilyschmyer]

This really is what it's all about. I don't think a lot of people realise some of these truths, I know personally it's taken over a decade of really working on my self, being aware of my choices and actions to understand that we get to choose the narrative. We get to choose the stories that make us who we are and also choose how to frame them in relation to everything else that's happening around us! As long as we're not deluding ourselves I think it's really powerful.

[@nonamebrand5704]

When I started working in the disability sector, I took a group of adults out to a café and the café owner very kindly brought out some free cookies for the group. She walked around with the plate. Each person took one as directed then she placed them on the table. One of them then walked up, took another handful and then walked off, so casually. I loved it because it is what I wanted to do too, I just didn’t because that was how I had been conditioned. That was a moment when I realised that there is a difference between what we want and what we have been told we can have.

[@slowmodern]

Mr Sautelle is a rare gem. I did not think he would touch on such subjects the way he did. Thank you!

[@mycrazylifeismine]

The stories that make the most sense to me are the ones I witness, and even that is about the meaning I attach to it. Perception testing - warm delivers warmth. This is a very interesting talk.

[@johnsautelle4547]

Really interesting point My Crazy Life - food for thought about the extent to which we internalise, often outside of our conscious awareness, powerful stories we directly witness.

[@mycrazylifeismine]

@@johnsautelle4547 I studied NLP and it suggests most men to learn visualize, maybe of true consciousness is internally visual!

[@lizyvuen]

Here we go again the "fear of failure" showing up once more!! It's a wonder anyone achieves anything.

[@anumahanty4984]

Awesome speaker, his passion is great - made me actually listen to the whole talk. Such good stuff

[@mikehweaver]

There's some really cool information here John, thank you and I will be sharing for sure.

[@makeitso1017]

Makes me think of what I've heard about CBT, that we need to rewrite our default assumptions about situations we're put in

[@felipeecoelho]

Oh I love talks like this that! Anything that really questions the things we think we know about how our perceptions and decisions are informed is so interesting!

[@dereksunder]

How much should we take into account while raising our kids. Just let them become a confident and sustainable person.

[@chanels2411]

When he talked about what happens when a story becomes 'too painful to own' I really just... wow what a realisation. It made a lot of sense for me in terms of some things that have happened in my relationships over the years

[@dennisdanilla]

John is a very self-aware and thoughtful person to be able to come out with this perspective and understanding of how society works and doesn't work, and what we need to do in order to thrive, instead of repeating the same old bad habits.

[@IAmTheRealJoker]

Isn't it interesting what he talks about around the 6:02? How we can be so comfortable performing a task as part of our professional lives but when it comes to doing the exact same thing on a personal level we tend to just clam up

[@jackiehathway]

Nice talk. Very deep and philosophic. Makes me think a lot after listening.

[@rihisinha5889]

This is very good video and helpful. I wanted to help but she stayed where she was. Thank you for sharing this video

[@lyndsayramster]

The coffee experiment makes me think of all those magic tricks where they subtly influence the audiences mind before they even get to the theatre where the show is happening. Pretty interesting the way all that stuff works!

[@subhankarmondal5745]

I've always believed that the narrative of our lives plays such an important role in how we see and present ourselves! Love that this talk helped explain why I feel that way.

[@haikes]

I've always believed that the narrative of our lives plays such an important role in how we see and present ourselves! Love that this talk helped explain why I feel that way.

[@lesliecrossI]

this has left me with a lot to think about. so much more than i expected!

[@dantepjet]

I agree

[@janetsplace1953]

and me too

[@angelabedard2317]

A really lovely talk John, thank you for prompting me to re-think certain moments.

[@nancygraskonski]

John, I honestly did not realise that your talk was going to go in the direction it did. I appreciate you being so vulnerable in such a public forum to raise the voices of those that are rarely listened too.

[@danahasler9018]

John, you are such an incredible story teller and this whole talk has so many bits to make one think. Absolute legend!

[@iammatrixmike]

His opening story is such a good example of why it's so important to be careful of what you say and do to children

[@itsmesamrendall]

what an awesome speaker, really got so much out of this talk

[@derekjohnston2105]

i know right, me too, it really hit home for me.

[@nigeltomlin]

Gosh what an awesome talk! Thank you John, truly eye-opening.

[@shirleytross]

I like the story about the cup of coffee. Our unconsciousness always shows the truth.

[@edingutenberg9797]

fantastic. Going to spend some time thinking about the stories I tell myself.

[@effierose5391]

We are sense-making beings yes absolutely, and our need to make sense of everything has led to some pretty destructive ideas about existence