Why A Narcissist Won't Let Go

[@kaitlincox9714]

I'm trying to break up with him. Told him to leave. At first he acted like it was his idea to leave. Then 5 minutes later he acts as though I never told him to leave. He said no, I will never leave.

[@cherrybacon3319]

Not letting go is their way if keeping you in the loop and as 'backup' in case their current supply refuses to play.

[@deboraharies6983]

I really appreciate your information. I have been studying this subject for over 30 years, you have a gift. Keep teaching. Slow and steady wins the race. Thank you.

[@brendaredmon1462]

❤

[@Appi227]

It's more of a diagnosis than a gift though 😂

[@chellotrevino7323]

You slow 😂 he’s talking about that he was self aware enough to help us out it’s a gift to NOT choose to be toxic and look out just for you god WILL bless him

[@inhisservicegodis3287]

TRUTH, SMHEAD, BUT TRUE. THEY DONT LET GO, EVEN IF YOU LEAVE

[@hasansarhan9296]

Who cares

[@inhisservicegodis3287]

@@hasansarhan9296 I DO, BECAUSE IT IS A INTRUSION IN MY LIFE. WHEN ONE IS DONE, ONE IS DONE!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA, THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 6 YRS. ITS BEST YOU KNOW DYNAMICS BEFORE YOU PUT SUCH A FRIVOLOUS COMMENT POST. ITS MY DIVINE RIGHT. I AS BEN SPECIALIZE IN THE ANALITICAL METHODS OF THESE TYPES. WORLD WIDE. I TOO HELP PEOPLE IN NARC ABUSE. EXCEPT IM A SURVIVOR AND THE NARC STILL A NUISANCE CLOWN 🤡.

[@Trashpanda888]

@@hasansarhan9296 everyone watching

[@dianaalyssa8726]

I think he would let me go if he had hooked/kept someone with more money. He cares about money more than anything. Mine told me that and I believe it.

[@cosmogurl069]

I actually had a narcissist tell me that before he got married and once he was married, he told me that again. Yep. He said if I started making more than his wife, that he would leave her. [FYI: This was a narcissist I started talking to before he got married and after he got married, I tried to get him to leave me alone, but he kept calling my phone. I never had any physical contact with him, but he played a number of mind games over the phone and that was enough abuse for me.]

[@witchywoman737]

Contray to narc's belief, the world was not created to be their amusement park of machinations. Save yourself from a lifetime of wounds & scars & just let them go. They lack the ability to love & nothing you do can change it.

[@WorkingProgress17]

The narcissist that's most recently impacted my life is my ex husband, who I made the mistake of letting him back in. The cycle I experienced was a betrayal cycle and the attention was more negative that he thrived off of. I had to repeatedly ask for space toward the end; something that he could not openly object to but it drove him nuts and he didn't care.

[@RawMotivations]

Continue your healing journey and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence. join our free masterclass here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass

[@LeoGang89]

This is interesting to hear because my narc ex was in contact with or kept tabs on every single person from her past.

[@kendrapalacio7484]

That is so true matter of facts about a month ago. He tried to Hoover me and it was funny. I had fun with it too. I laughed and clown him so hard. After all that he turned around and then said he would never come back to me when he was clearly trying to.😅

[@ru.m.6119]

He tells me I am not his equal yet when I leave he gets so angry and tells me to fix myself. And that I am his, but it doesn't feel like he like's me it feels like he hates me.

[@SpliffyMeister]

He does hate you. They do not have healthy love. Their version of love is An Exchange system. Like the pimp and the prostitute. Don't be his "Prostitute". Get the fuck out now while you can still think don't do what I did and end up almost dead from the toxicity of him and the environment. You're worth more than that girl! Run. There's so much more to this world to see and experience.....explore it. Let the loser drown in his own immature drivel. These are children and it's not healthy to be with a 9 year old brain having 2 year old temper tantrums

[@cosmogurl069]

Exactly - They hate themselves and they project their feelings onto others.

[@donnajeffreys8252]

Sometimes you HAVE TO go to the police 🚓🚨 to get that narcissist to stop coming around once you've made up your mind that you want nothing more than to move on and heal your hurting toxic soul 💔 💙 you HAVE TO BLOCK HIM/HER out of your phone 📱 social media to begin the healing process. Don't answer numbers that you don't know

[@jaydeeguti3341]

My ex paid off the police and I cant call them

[@franciscocardenas5758]

I guess this is why you say that you can't win against a narcissist. Still, and I don't recommend this because it's extremely dangerous and can be life ending, there is nothing like making the narcissist go into a narcissistic rage. That's just my way of knocking them down; after a few of those, they are not so cocky. But I now understand why no contact is the way to go. It gave me the chance to heal from my narcissistic mother. The other narcissistic woman couldn't do very much damage but was more of an annoyance that just wouldn't stop trying. After healing, nothing appeared to be the same. Boundaries were in place, and my mindset started to attract different kinds of people, people with different values that could be seen by their actions. It's as if I am living in a different world. A way better world where opportunities are plentiful. Be well, everyone 🙏 ❤️

[@zakithiganyaza5525]

Wow I am in a process of breaking emotional bond with the narcist .I cant wait for the world of impossibilities.I wonder if I can do these while I have this person on my social media because she is a sista

[@kristanwilson6813]

Well this last narcissist has ruined almost any empathy that I have for people and it's starting to feel good, finally. I have very little reaction to the poor me mentality. Now it's well it sucks, but I can't let it affect my life. I take space to pray and feel bad for people for a short period of time and then I move past it.

[@jennielai2459]

This is what I am after my ex narc (thanks to him I now know that my parents are narcs and why my childhood was a nightmare): My hope died and hope was my fire in this body. Without hope I don’t want to stay in this world anymore. The humanity in this world makes me sick and tired and it’s not worth fighting for anymore, I’m done. People around me doesn’t understand and I’m bound to stay by a promise to my beautiful son. They don’t understand that they are talking to a damaged shell. Every day is painful and I just want to end it, but I’m bound by a promise… It’s not our job to save everyone!

[@cosmogurl069]

Amen. Maybe this is the lesson we are supposed to learn from this. Maybe we have too much empathy that predators can sniff out and use and abuse us and our empathy is not meant for that!

[@vmindo1737]

This was really good Ben. Best explanation I have heard so far- really made sense to me.

[@jenewingtxlpc]

I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor, so I do come across narcissists or, at least, people with significant narcissistic traits who don’t officially qualify for a diagnosis. My sister is also highly narcissistic. One thing I notice about some narcissists that a lot of people seem to not mention is they can be REALLY great at self-deprecation. Some people interpret this as the narcissist being humble, but all it is is a ploy to get someone to put them back up on that pedestal they think they’re entitled to sit on. They love to do it both in therapy and in personal relationships. Sadly for them, at least in therapy, they don’t get the reaction they’re seeking. It’s not my job to boost their ego (which is incredibly delicate). It’s my job to help people live healthier lives. And there’s quite a bit of transference with narcissists because they confuse 50 min. a week of someone focusing solely on them as someone who gives them the supply they’re looking for and, as you said in another video, they’re with someone who “gets” them. That is, if the therapist hasn’t run off the narcissist by not falling for the fact that nobody is perfect and we all have faults.

[@veral2274]

I'm pretty sure my ex narc charmed his therapist and she too became a supply. She'd meet him for a day out for exposure therapy and charged him only for 1h. He was in therapy with her for 4 years, little or no improvement was made and he discarded her too in the end. He once asked me what did the ethical framework say about a relationship between a client and a counsellor. To which I replied: it's unethical. Why, do you fancy your therapist? And his poker face "no" was a yes.

[@Missybella92227]

My recent ex was totally different. He discarded me after saying very hurtful words and didn’t look back. Likely had supply lined up, or went back to an ex.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

He wants you to chase him, no contact, block!

[@marcharsveld2914]

He'll be back for sure. It can take years but he will come back.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

Yes, he will come back but if you want "revenge" be totally indifferent, but really indifferent to him. Remember your only role in his life is to feed his ego - that he was important to you. That's how you nullify him and render him irrelevant, which he is. They use people as food, nothing more. Otherwise you don't exist. Never fall for a hoover and live fulfilled life, be content and know your worth is always bigger than his, because they do not have worth(ego) they must take it from you. Don't give it to him... Work on yourself, study, learn new things don't look for a boyfriend, the right one will come eventually ( my perfect hubby came after 8 years after idiot NPD ) and I live in a happy marriage for 30 years, best luck!

[@Virtualdell73]

This gave me such clarity-thank you for all your work!!

[@RawMotivations]

We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass

[@firebird3639]

He asked me why didn't u block me?

[@tracyselvey3685]

Thank you very much for this video!I needed this today and the trying to fix people that's me all day but now I'm trying to go so far and still focus on myself.

[@RawMotivations]

You are strong! You can do it, best wishes!

[@EstebanGunn]

Very eye opening 👍

[@RawMotivations]

Glad you think so!

[@heathermcalpine802]

Wow..very informative thank you :)

[@RawMotivations]

So nice of you

[@cosmogurl069]

My question is this: if you're in a relationship with a narcissist and you realize that you want to go no contact, what do you do? Say for example: there's no marriage, no kids, and you're just basically phone buddies and you don't even see each other in person. If you try to tell them about wanting to cut off contact, they will go through every single one of the tactics you mentioned and won't let you end the phone call. I say let, but obviously you can hang up. I know that they try to emotionally manipulate if you put your foot down and you're done. So, in the past, I've tried to gain my strength to say that I don't like feeling like I'm held hostage because I've already stated my desire to discontinue contact. That's when I realized they think they own you and it's some sort of sick mentality and I was so grossed out and disgusted! But like should you try to give a heads up at all? Or should you give a heads up in a way that they can't reply to like sending a text and then blocking them. I hope to never have this experience again. But if it did ever occur again, I would like to know how to handle it. One thing I've noticed too with this particular narcissist is that I did go no contact several times meaning that he came back into my life calling years later after the relationship ended and this happened several times. Each time I let him go, he got so mad that he would interrogate me to find out what he could use to hurt me. He just kept digging and digging until he could find something. A couple of times, I was able to get by scott free, but that was only because I promised that "I might" continue the relationship later. But other times, I wanted to end it completely and felt like if I didn't give him something, he wouldn't let me go. I feel like it's been a little bit of self-destructiveness in a way because I don't know how to stand up to the narcissist or what to say when they know so much about you and they twist that like a knife and try to use it against you, especially at the end when you are trying to enforce no contact. I think the last two times, I might have enacted the no contact and boundaries on the conversation properly. I didn't lose my cool. I wasn't getting drawn into side conversations that didn't matter. I was like let's stick to the subject. I'm done. This relationship isn't good for me. Also, I think part of each time him not wanting to let me go was because of blame shifting. I remember that being a part of each time.

[@RawMotivations]

You will never be able to go no contact while talking to them about it. Cut him off. Https://www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@gilliandowney5225]

This is an amazing video

[@RawMotivations]

I'm happy to hear that you're finding our content valuable! I'd like to extend an invitation for you to join our free masterclass. In it, we'll explore methods for breaking free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@gilliandowney5225]

@@RawMotivations thank you.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Anointed. Thank you for your transparency 🙏🕊

[@dianabaldwin7390]

SO helpful! I can't help wondering how your story changed...

[@bettycarmella1127]

My ex keeps sending these weird messages, Facebook friend requests, etc but won’t actually talk to me…🤦🏽‍♀️

[@thisloop]

🤣🤣🤣 mine was the same. liking ma super old youtube comments, created a tiktok acc to lure me back n other silly things cuz i blocked him on instagram n twitter (his main social medias) a month ago. i ignored him completely ever since 30 days ago. me no sound no nothin. i set ma instagram to private, blocked all his friends and mutuals + post nothing! so he hear me nothing, zero! i created another account so he cant track me. i really think he misses me being his oxygen/supply. cuz no one could give him the dopest supplies as meh (he could get it somewhere else but it aint the same) but the good thang is he couldnt control me, i found out his dark sides... maybe thats why on last argument when i revealed his dark sides, he was so mad, accussed me for so many things that i aint do (all in his head only i guess), cut me off, i aint say anything, i just walked away. he was unfollowing me on instagram 10 hours after the last heated argument cuz i didnt beg him nor cry or whatever (well he thought i would do that) n it made him more mad 😂 next day i just blocked him. thanked god i found out before he did any worst abusive acts. i found it out on the last argument (that he could be a narc) when he was literally insulting me, saying harsh/mean things, accusing etc. im a well educated person, i have ma dignity n pride too, i wont let anyone do shiet things to me even put me down like that. who does he think he is? geez! at the end 1-2 weeks after last argument, matching his narc acts/traits thru articles i read n youtube videos, i just sure n realize that hes a narc 🤦‍♀️

[@Tlj4722]

He just don't know how to face you or what to say to you!

[@ssing7113]

Delete the social media. Is it really worth being stalked for life possibly……

[@dwyererin83]

Thank you for this clarity 🙏

[@RawMotivations]

Glad it was helpful!

[@suzannedouglas1068]

It's because he is attached.

[@RawMotivations]

Often it's because of image or money not because they care through attachment to you.

[@tyronecooke3781]

Give them a nice narcissistic injury and they will run

[@zakithiganyaza5525]

I need one for my covert narc sista its difficult to cut contact totally an injury will do .Can u give me examples?

[@edgreen8140]

It how the narc looks , the mask.

[@edenjennings8395]

Can you speak more on how you process negative supply. I'm getting hung up trying to understand the difference between the ego injury that happens when you receive criticism and how negative supply can be supply at the same time. I try to remind myself to choose my battles because I know supply is supply. But at the same time I feel like if I say nothing I am not honoring myself.

[@stacy7990]

It's so hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not give my ex negative supply. He doesn't care if it's negative. When I do say mean things to him, he will still text me. I have learned not to do it anymore. He was telling me he loves me and thinks about me and he didn't act right while with his new supply. I just said I don't want to talk about it and I'm happy now. Hope he leaves me alone so I just don't say anything anymore.

[@edenjennings8395]

@@stacy7990 mine generally stonewalls in response to any question or comment that may highlight his integrity or entitlement issues. I know I will never get a response, but I will be damned if he thinks im accepting of the behavior so I generally say my peace. But from my take away here, he must be feeding of the negativity as well as he does anything else. That itself is twisted.

[@stacy7990]

@Eden Jennings yes that are twisted. At first I told him some mean things but quickly realized he feeds on that too so I stopped. It's been 5 months since we broke up and he still trying all while posting on sm how much he loves the new supply. If he dosen't stop I will send her the text he sends me lol. That should stop him.

[@shirlspark_stardust]

Something is very wrong with the one who I'm currently married too and I sensed it early on I grew up with a narcissistic father who behaved the same way I dk how the heck I wind marrying a man like my father ugh 😒

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Yes ❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉my family seemed crazy as a kid I escaped but we draw these humans to us run 🏃‍♀️

[@MasterCraftFishing51]

Woman Narcissist have no trouble walking away and never coming back . Or hovering or any of it . They usually have 10 guys going at once . So they have no need for you after you are destroyed. (Been there several times never had a one come back lol .

[@alexanderthegreat3106]

That’s true

[@kryssis69]

Unless you discard them and go no contact… like I did ;). 30 days on the money she tried the hoover with a new e-mail. Rejected and blocked. They can’t stand when someone discards them first 😂

[@rem898maxamillion]

Because he's crazy and evil.

[@saul1001]

Not really. My narc ex is already pregnant to her new supply after 3 months.

[@nv_chino]

Women can be narcissist too

[@tinaehrob384]

Hes a weak creep