I’m So Jealous When He’s Around Other Women

[@naptastik]

Ugh- I felt the anxiety rise up in me the second she described this situation.

[@courtneymurphy1023]

Me too!

[@breannabaldridge6547]

Me three, y’all!

[@ArmOr_of_the_Alpha_and_Omega]

Same. I was like,"Nooooo!". My husband cheated on me in a car and then started to fall for his coworker who was training him while they drove around in her car. Being is such a close proximity to somebody you could build an attraction to is a VERY BAD IDEA. Better to be safe than sorry on this one. The damage can be irreparable, whereas the prevention is easy. Just don't do it.

[@camrobischon4369]

She literally admitted she was the best candidate and was apart of the hiring lmao. Everyone talks about women's equality and then someone is uncomfortable with hiring the opposite gender of a husband? That makes zero sense to me.

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@camrobischon4369 yes! You said it all

[@BSCTrainerRob]

She's so anxious about this and yet she hired a pretty young girl to be around him all the time. Very counter intuitive

[@pclare7477]

I think she did that to prove she's not insecure.

[@Veracityseeker7]

That's because she's trying to be the cool girl and she's not being honest about her insecurities when she did it.

[@stevenwallace773]

@@pclare7477 the husband is unaware of this insecurity, so she's only trying to prove it to herself

[@thedavesiknow4598]

Attractiveness is in the eye of beholder. Maybe he doesn't think she's all that attractive.

[@motchiko904]

She has trauma and is self sabotaging. That’s not uncommon.

[@janetbaker8405]

I so agree about not having hubby running around day in and day out with a single woman. Just asking for trouble. Or a married woman for that matter.

[@MRkriegs]

"Running around day in and day out" ummm mam do u mean WORKING?

[@fg6418]

@@MRkriegsmost affairs start in the workplace

[@philwill0123]

​@@fg6418yep, but what you going to do, pair her with other women? There's also a huge assumption she's attracted to him too.

[@Veracityseeker7]

​@@philwill0123Thank you. Women. Always assume that their husbands are way more desirable than they really are. I get tired of it as a single woman. A lot of times we single women are sitting here wondering why the wives even want these men LOL. Like get over yourself ladies.

[@hudsonmilbank]

@@MRkriegs Both covered in poop from a broken sewer pipe.

[@Girlgonewise]

I believe this woman’s feelings are very valid. It’s not a matter of not trusting her hubby, it’s insecurities. However, they are playing a dangerous game by hiring a woman to work so closely with her husband day in and day out. I think her husband is a good guy but he’s only human and over time his feeling for this woman can develop into something.

[@nly4607]

@wordsalad It is insane for this woman to think she can have a man her age AND stay at the same attractiveness lol Life is about choices she got a partner. She shared a lot of life experiences with she should be happy with that and not get delusional

[@Girlgonewise]

@@wordsalad01 I totally agree. I was really hoping John would take a serious stand about this. I don’t think they should have hired a woman to begin with but now that they have she needs to realize how fears/concerns are very valid. I’m secretly hoping this woman they hired quits on her own accord and they never hire another woman again.

[@MijoShrek]

A woman who's formidable on the trades or blue collar work. And you enjoy being able to teach the skillet to her. My co worker who's a gear head took a look at my car that was having issues, she's looking at the engine and the wind came up, her hair started blowing in t eh wind, as she's teaching me about engine. Soo hot, a babe knowing her stuff. 😂

[@nly4607]

@Ivan Avila yeah idk any guys who want masculine women lol Maybe that was a thing in the 70s or before Title IX

[@MijoShrek]

@@nly4607 that just sounds damn near silly with assigning it masculine when it's being knowledgeable in your skillets. I'm too busy enjoying the women for who they are. Guess I'll lean into my feminine as I go make her a sandwich right now as she's fixing the timing belt on my Honda, lol.

[@lolgriffin3243]

We Catholics try to avoid "the near occasion of sin" which basically means don't put yourself in a position to be tempted...

[@prolifemama]

Yes, exactly! Hello, fellow Catholic 😆

[@sb-fx6ll]

Yup agree with that! As a Muslim we have a similar teaching which discourages men and women from mixing in private "whenever a man is alone with a woman, the devil makes a third". Also, we are to remain completely professional with the opposite sex who are not closely related to us, in our dealings, so no unnecessary small talk etc. I feel like these types of preventative measures are so important and would help society in so many ways

[@2Years2Farm]

I’m a Baptist and we do the same.

[@brianclingenpeel5123]

That is a very wise way to look at it. We as humans are capable of all kinds of sin. recognizing that and taking steps to keep yourself away from potential sin is a great idea.

[@argiehercules1374]

You know that if you 100% avoid temptations, you will never know if you are really moral, right? It is like living in a sterile environment, you will never know if the defense of your body is strong enough to resist if necessary

[@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom]

When you’re married you have a responsibility to consider your spouse in every aspect of your life, to be respectful of your spouse, and to not put yourself in a position where you could develop a close and intimate relationship with someone else which could elevate into an affair. My father cheated on his first 2 wives, in both instances it was with women who just happened to be around him a lot, his kids babysitter and his secretary (yes my dad was a cliche lol). Dr. John is 100% right, most instances of affairs aren’t where one person seeks out someone else, people are opportunistic cheaters for the most part, they cheat with people they’re around, a boss, a coworker, an employee, female (or male) friends, a neighbor, a spouses friend, a friends wife etc. So if your spouse values your marriage, he or she SHOULD prioritize making you feel secure in your relationship by not being around people he could cheat with, even if that means giving up friendships to save your marriage.

[@randybobandy9828]

Yes but it was both of them who hired her.

[@nicolcacola]

This has been a situation before with my husband. I asked him how he would react to me working so closely with the same man day in and day out. Woke him up to the reality of the situation real quick.

[@sherryd.3425]

Bless you. People don't seem to grasp, even Jon, that proximity does not equal intimacy or sexuality for most women or men.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@sherryd.3425 Proximity over time might………

[@sherryd.3425]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 Only for the intimately deprived and desperate. I am not at all belittling the men and women who experience that and need more. No judgment. As humans, both men and women, cannot emotionally survive in a void of no emotional or physical contact. We know from studies of all humans and all mammals that lack of contact leads to deviance and insanity. Humans are social and intrinsically dependent on contact with each other. Exile from society is worse than the death penalty. As humans, we can survive horrendous abuse and deprivation, if we are given the illusion that our pain ensures the life of a child. We have to love humanity who will suffer torture on the chance...that a child might be saved from pain. That is humanity. That is who so many of us are. Because when your baby is desperate and helpless, just point and ask for help. I don't care that you are racist or have made bad decisions. Just point, and I will cover that innocent body with my own. Because, like you, I was born to give and save life and not take it...without cause. If a child is lost or scared and grabs me, I am a full-on Mom until someone steps up with ID and a voice the child recognizes. That is how we protect our own. If I see a black woman holding my grandchild's hand in the grocery store, I don't think she is stealing him. I think, "Thank God she snagged him before he reached the door. I say thank you! Bless you! Baby, say thank you! Because now I don't have to verbally berate you for the next hour until I know that you know you are safe. Amen.

[@aeonnortune]

Except what is the husband supposed to do about her insecurity? Fire a solid employee over his wife's fear of infidelity? Even if he did, at this point she's shot herself in the foot by having a phone call live on national radio giving this woman an open and shut wrongful termination suit.

[@y04a]

​@@aeonnortune I don't think it's an open and shut wrongfully termination. I truly think we could improve our laws if that's the case because justice wouldn't be served. There is a genuine risk with a man and a woman alone for that long. Same reason why nowadays adults need to be in pairs to take care of children outside of the home. It's easy to use discrimination as an excuse to ignore the elephant in the room.

[@Theklay1354]

💯 agree that it’s not a good idea for a single woman to be working ALONE all day with a married man. I thought that before John said it and I’m soooo glad he did.

[@documentariesbycategory1483]

So relieved you validated concerns about a husband working days in the company of only one single woman! While there is certainly the component of personal jealousy there are situations that are clearly unwise to place oneself in.

[@larissagonzales6075]

I can't tell you how many men have hit on me at work that are married and all I did was say hello and have some surface-level conversation. It is sad. I have also witnessed married women do this.

[@Tessy29k]

Married folks be the most single

[@SoulTooBeautiful]

This!

[@cherylvisconti]

YES!

[@themmorganmm]

Yep, I’m a welder & it makes me sad. But not all of them are like that.

[@mrivera9286]

Like John said it’s access that weakens us. Even the most strongest marriages can be broken. Literally my biggest fear

[@Flash3-22]

Wise words - number one reason affairs happen is access. Being in the same workplace makes this easier. I trusted my husband until he also had access because of his work environment. Never felt insecure prior to his "fantasy" relationship. I feel for this caller. Best they address this new employee. Playing with fire.

[@lynnlakotich6331]

Men are as faithful as their options.

[@CrystalM1917]

@Lynn Lakotich that's not true.Most ppl in general have options. Ease of access does make it easier to exercise options. Everything about their situation makes it easy to cheat and hard for his wife to know about it if it happens. I'm sure the husband had options before but never has it been so easy if he decided to.

[@nly4607]

@Crystal This is just objectively false lol. Women find less than 15% of men attractive some studies say as low as 5%. While men will happily sleep with 60% of the female pop

[@johndone8045]

Or having an annoying af wife at home

[@csx6910]

@@lynnlakotich6331 Same for women. In act, it's worse because an emotional connection can form first which might allow men she wouldn't have considered prior.

[@kathylovesmk]

Yeah, I was married to the guy who would never in a million years cheat. Turns out we never know people as well as we think we do.🤦🏼‍♀️

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

The ones we least expect are the ones that do. Not that this is the callers case.

[@alluringbliss4165]

That's why I'd rather be alone. I grew up around cheating husbands, I am only now realizing the damages. I have never been able to have a relationship with a man.

[@jet4415]

@@alluringbliss4165 Enjoy life without men, they are a lot of work.

[@mark.daniel]

@@jet4415 You could say the same thing about women.

[@jet4415]

@@mark.daniel True! However women get left holding the “only difficult ones” in the media and men are the “angels of relationships”.

[@jenniferbussiere2529]

100% agree about a husband not working solo all day with a woman. Foolish. Inviting trouble.

[@johnny9072]

Yes, even if she wasn't single and good looking, relationships pop out of nowhere when you're stuck together for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, for months and years in end

[@John-du2mq]

Not when you have a solid foundation and strong intimacy at home.

[@NeuroSeasoned]

Did you actually listen to the episode? Lol

[@johnny9072]

@@NeuroSeasoned he literally said at the end, things may happen, don't be naive.... what are you on?

[@nly4607]

If he does cheat do you think the woman will leave him to Maybe find a man She doesn't love as much who probably will also cheat? lol.

[@HaveCommonSense76]

We had a neighbor who had 6 kids, been married forever and went to church every Sunday etc. He took a new job and traveled with a female colleague. It was barely 6 months before he committed adultery and his family and marriage was over.

[@williamhermann6635]

Hes a weak man then.

[@Onetakelifestyle3323]

@@williamhermann6635no., probably just very unhappy

[@juicysmith38235]

My ex was like this woman. He was so insecure & jealous, he ended up putting a tracker in my car, my phone, going through my phone, & stalking me at work & school. He repeatedly accused me of cheating with pretty much anyone/everyone. I was extremely in love with him, yet it was never enough after 7 yrs. Ultimately if your husband is going to cheat, you can't stop him. If he cheats, leave! Stop stressing about things you can't control. If your husband doesn't respect his vows & gamble away his family for a pretty young thing, then why stay where you're not loved? God bless 🙏

[@calibrial]

There are so many people who are self-aware enough- and have empathy for their partner- not to do anything inappropriate like that and whose body experiences anxiety that feels out of their control. I've experienced this and have never done any of the above (in fact I've been on the other side of it). While nothing you've said is wrong, there's a huge difference between acting out like that and internalizing and owning your anxiety but not knowing how to fix it.

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

You’re supposed to protect your marriage. Working closely with an opposite sex is NOT protecting the marriage , period!!! It takes WORK to prevent affairs!!

[@cabayern9416]

Why tempt fate?

[@neisci]

​@@gabrielamartiniuc6322 most of us "work closely" with the opposite gender, it's called integration.

[@jeromehenry4484]

@@gabrielamartiniuc6322 Caller expressed she has let her appearance slip, not looking feminine & slim. It would make more sense to work on those issues before pointing the accusing finger at her husband or female worker. Caller also said she has always felt some level of jealousy around females, so firing this new employee for being female is not going to solve caller's issues. BTW, there are plenty of husbands on the down low, and that is much more difficult to detect.

[@baysideharpy8350]

I had a super jealous, insecure Ex and at first it was flattering but soon became exhausting. It killed the relationship.

[@melissam7067]

super jealous is not flattering. its a warning sign.

[@blahblahblah4544]

Yeah. I did everything to make them secure. Practically became a mix between a monk and mother Teresa. It's never enough:( That's one reason I left. He got all jealous all randomly.

[@melissam7067]

@blah blahblah you can't make anyone feel secure. Ladies and gents it's high time we all learm to recognize the signs of controlling behavior and avoid such persons. They may turn out to be controlling, deeply unhappy abusers.

[@44nk96]

It’s incredibly exhausting and SUCH a turn OFF.

[@csx6910]

@@melissam7067 Mate-guarding exists for a reason. People who argue nothing is gonna happen so a person shouldn't be concerned is naive.

[@honoreejennings1998]

Great work Doc! I agree with you 💯. I love the fact that you point out what's obvious and all your advice is about protecting our marriages all the time. The devil will always try to ruin anything that is sacred. Love your channel!!

[@hillarybillary21]

I’m not buying her shpeel about “he never would”. I think somewhere deep down inside she knows it’s a possibility just from being together since 16. She’s thinking he’s probably curious about other women.

[@baleslydia2009]

My husband and I met at 14 and only dated eachother. There is absolutely no part of me that thinks my husband would cheat. He comes home to me every night, tells me about his day. He's just not like that. Cheating is a series of choices. A person can choose to create healthy boundaries with the opposite sex, to talk about their spouse in a certain light around others so people know that person is in a committed relationship. Yes, yoy may question but then the next choice is what matters. Do you follow that curiosity or do you seek support from a counselor or talk with your spouse about it and make a game plan. Just because you've only been with one person doesn't mean you can't be satisfied and content

[@daltonoftheyear]

just cause you find other women attractive doesn't mean you will cheat.

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

I work in a very male dominated field. Working with a man side by side invites trouble. Most men keep to themselves, but I have encountered ones who have not. It depends on 1. Husband and his morals and 2. This woman and her morals.

[@okaydude2863]

The sad thing about this is, my wife works in a predominantly male dominated career; Army CRNA. At least it is mostly male where she is right now. The all share an open air office and the other day, she over heard all the dudes talking about “would you cheat on your wife with a 10 that had a great personality” these are her coworkers. I am so delighted.

[@hommy1614]

Aside from the middle school ruminations...this call was SPOT ON on so many points and levels. Good work Dr. Delony.

[@RI3773]

Her gut is telling her it was a bad idea to hire a woman to work day in and day out alone with her husband, however she is not sure she can trust it. Trust it! Like he said, no sets out to have an affair, and thats why you need boundaries. It may be fine, but it feels a little like playing with fire to me.

[@stevenwallace773]

Boundries from what, herself?? She hired the woman! "I'm not comfortable with the situation I intentionally put you in." What?! 😅😅

[@RI3773]

@@stevenwallace773 Boundaries in their relationship of course! People make decisions all the time and then realise it was the wrong decision. You are allowed to change your mind! Thats called learning.

[@anaselfadil4113]

She is not insecure, she is a smart woman who knows the reality of the world and her husband working closely with another woman is trouble

[@Gotoworkkk]

A.k.a. insecure!

[@Ja50nkAt]

He's 34 probably making good money maybe workouts, he's in his prime and other women will come on to him regardless of the ring on his finger because some women don't care.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

And he has a wife at home , a lot of women want that life. They are going to come for him and yep don’t care if he is married. I have known women who go after married men for all of the reasons above.

[@philwill0123]

Cool, that's on him displaying self control or speaking up if He feels uncomfortable. He's in the position of power there

[@cmdrwinnie]

Married men are out here dating period.

[@snowcone393]

He also married with 3 kids. That’s some major baggage. Best case scenario, a relationship with this man means a messy divorce, three kids and and ex wife that hate you, just so you can be with a single father of three that has a history of cheating. He’s not the catch she thinks he is.

[@madamebovarycro]

You do not hire a woman to work with your husband all day. And he is like her teacher. Trust me that is the worst combination.

[@philwill0123]

True, but again, the woman is being punished based on the perceptions that both she and the guy have zero. Self control.

[@stevenwallace773]

@@philwill0123 Yeah it sucks. This is a reason women find it difficult to break through in these fields, but it's also valid. I have done this myself. I once urged a company i worked for to hire a girl i liked and whith whom I had a sporadic friendly relationship, with the specific intent and reasonably confident hope that if we spent enough time together she would develop romantic feelings. I was a regular employee, not a manager, so I was ultimately unsuccessful in getting her hired in, but that was my intent and expectation.

[@stevenwallace773]

@@philwill0123 that's too bad, but it's reality. You can't plan for the world you want, you gotta plan for the world we're in

[@Jaisee14]

I disagree. Hiring the best person for a particular job is what intelligent people do. Makes no difference if that person is a male or female. This mindset that men will cheat just because they are men is not based on facts but based on feelings and sterotyping. Who cares what other people *Might Say* ... *People are going to believe what they* *want to believe* .

[@user-nn5nq4ml3c]

Men love when they can teach a woman something

[@maddyG7414]

I can’t describe how helpful your videos have been. My partner has been inconsiderate about his attention towards attractive women, and while I don’t worry he’s cheating and he is very affectionate with me, I also think my values are being disrespected because his are slightly different. Personally I don’t think openly excessive porn consumption or commenting on pretty women frequently is ok. It just sews distrust in me and makes me concerned for our future. You have showed me that it doesn’t matter if other women are ok with their partner being so expressive about his attraction for others, I am not. I’ve had a past of being cheated on and even if there are no intentions and he is never secretive or overtly disrespectful, I can still feel uncomfortable and I don’t have to gaslight myself into not caring. I do care. Shallow lust is in my past, and I want to be with someone who can see that stuff, maybe feel into it for a moment but then move on. I watch porn occasionally, but not nearly as much as I used to because frankly, it’s often just grossly objectifying to women and I don’t like the views on sex that it encourages.

[@Jewels272]

I think it's great you care and are recognizing and prioritizing your values! Rooting for you! 💕

[@jaciemokidm609]

I'm so glad you have accepted your discomfort and don't gaslight yourself to prove you're confident or that you trust your partner. I hate this idea being pressed on us, it's contrary to human nature and healthy marriages.

[@hartfartpoptart]

Any amount of porn consumption will eventually become toxic to your marriage. It rots the way you see sex and often effects the way you view your partner and yourself. Run from it.

[@Tessy29k]

This is why shared values are so important, even if someone loves you misery may still develop in the relationship if you don't see eye to eye on the same issues. Talking about values before marriage is very important.

[@anant3910]

I hate how porn expresses too

[@jennteal5265]

Her insecurities about her looks and appearance vs. the women around her is very likely from the source of having a narcissistic mother. My mother and grandmother very much did the same thing to me. I just don't care anymore but it took years of therapy and being okay with myself and not comparing myself to others obsessively for the fear of not being good enough. This poor woman doesn't feel good enough and her paranoia is doing damage in her relationship. I hope she can find the help she needs.

[@sherryd.3425]

Very insightful.

[@quarterlimit5838]

This right here!

[@rocsib9551]

I’m going to go against the majority and say she hasn’t said anything to make me think her husband and the employee are doing anything inappropriate. This is a her thing. She needs to work on her insecurities. To be jealous when your husband is around other women is not normal. (Or vice versa). They can fire the employee, still doesn’t make her overall insecurities go away. Women are everywhere. She can’t keep him locked in the basement. Getting anxiety because of the opposite sex isn’t normal.

[@Derek8487]

I agree. You can't and shouldn't fire someone because they're a good looking woman. I work with some women , should I get fired because I'm too handsome and it made a husband jealous? No!

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

I partially agree . Jealousy is a normal emotion . Doesn’t make it right .

[@sleepyjoeb.8726]

I have a feeling she has cheated on her husband before, and is projecting right now.

[@breannabaldridge6547]

@@sleepyjoeb.8726 Wow, I never thought of that!

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@sleepyjoeb.8726 I really doubt that. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger, who would have thought!!

[@Candace-M-]

Geez no wonder she feels this way! All the other stuff about her past aside, this working situation is all you need to know to say she most certainly should feel off about this 😬 I would be constantly worried too.

[@KufLMAO]

why SHOULD she? You can say it’s understandable to feel insecure about it, but that doesn’t mean she’s right. I thought marriage was about placing your trust in another person. If he’s the kind of guy that would cheat just because of ‘access’ then they shouldn’t be married anyway.

[@digthewarmth]

Her hiring the attractive woman didn't sound bad until she said they work alone together every day. That is a HUGE mistake. You're bound to become affectionate with someone you spend time with alone every day. So they'll definitely become friends, no problem. But the only thing that tips it from friendship to romantic fantasies is physical attraction. Even if he doesn't sleep with her, he could look at you differently if he's having fantasies about her. That is so unwise.

[@dawnhughes9942]

My career as a master tradeswoman has suffered tremendously by jealous wives when they never had anything to worry about with me. I commend her for working on this. She should think of herself as an ally to empowering other women, a hero in a sense, at least to this one woman electrician she is giving an opportunity to. Thank you on behalf of this old woman in the trades who never got such a golden opportunity.

[@mv7374]

Yes!!

[@nicolcacola]

She should not have to sacrifice her own feelings of secuirty to being an "ally". If youd like to empower other women, partner up with those in your field, not other womens husbands.

[@sherryd.3425]

@@nicolcacola I don't understand ownership of women and women in trade by spouses. It's not legal.

[@mv7374]

@@nicolcacola genuinely curious how to realistically go about this in a male-dominated field

[@oroville12345]

​@M V I am wondering the same thing about office jobs, and women as a man, hummm.

[@taklfarms2575]

Whoofta. Be very careful w this one. Have seen it up close and personal.....never would have thought either party would have messed around, but it happened.

[@moaraa2575]

Thank you, Dr John! I was like no no no no, that is not good. Even good ppl can be tempted and act on it. Never ever allow it, a partner to spend a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex by themselves day in and out. Protect your relationship all the time. It’s human nature. If your inner voice is shouting red flag, don’t talk yourself out it. Listen to it! Oh, my heart is aching on this one. I hope it’s not too late.

[@athenagates6089]

UNDEROATH!! I still play their first two albums and listen to, "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door" daily!

[@lisadabbs2181]

Yes, cheating is usually a crime of opportunity.

[@ConceptHut]

What he's talking about is attachment theory. Also the close situation of men and women is dangerous for the reasons talked about in the book called Not just friends.

[@DeRocco21]

we had this problem too, so i asked how i could help her feel better about herself so she isnt insecure about herself

[@kathiedrake3926]

I have heard Dave Ramsey say he won't even be in an elevator alone with a woman, a bit for liability.

[@jsmithsemper4848]

I’m sorry is he sexy? Seems a bit drastic.

[@l-train7876]

That seems a little unhealthy.

[@mv7374]

His following explains the majority of these comments

[@eurekahope5310]

@@l-train7876 It is wise. All it takes is an accusation of inappropriate behavior and a man's life could be ruined.

[@l-train7876]

@@eurekahope5310 I’m pretty sure the only elevators DR is walking into has cameras: his own office building, high-end hotels, any other reputable place.

[@cheesygal]

I’m very blessed. My husband learned how my previous experiences made me feel (justifiably) insecure and devalued and traumatized. He ponied up and has lived decades demonstrating that there is no way possible that he will be unfaithful to me. When he makes me feel disrespected (bc he’s a human) he immediately apologizes. I don’t hold anything over him. I do share feelings with him. He is a confident and successful man in his own right. I also am supportive of him and acknowledge my actions when they are hurtful. It can work out. 31 years in and we’re both very happy in our life together.

[@JenniferMoleski]

I do _not_ like this situation. At. All. Bad idea.

[@ctsvblk]

Good thing you have no influence over their decisions

[@ta8193]

not just "bad" - a horrible idea! I've seen similar and it led to suicide and fatherless kids

[@anissaholmes4495]

I agree with you. This is not a good idea. My father said men are easily led.

[@mercifulmermaidtarot2630]

Yup! I agree with what What Dr. Delony said at 11:34 It’s not a good situation and I wouldn’t want to be in it if I was her or her husband.

[@Destiny-jf5pb]

100% agree with you John. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my husband working side by side with a woman all day either.

[@user-cq1en7td4h]

She hired the hot nanny!

[@Flare6]

Yes, boundaries are SO important!

[@marciabernard3820]

This is a no no..in the truck all day no

[@manoflegacy]

Can you imagine a man saying she was the best candidate but I didn't hire her because she is a woman. Shocked how many are saying they should not have hired a woman who was the best candidate. Valid point about access and working close with the opposite sex. However if they end up letting her go because of the wife's insecurities around or working around her husband she will be able to sue them and should for sex discrimination.

[@MRkriegs]

I agree

[@vanmamawannabe6360]

John didn’t say to fire her; he said to hire an additional employee.

[@fg6418]

Yup they can’t fire her now she screwed herself now

[@zaryamain-i8l]

I agree. Poor woman is just trying to get work in the trade industry

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

@@vanmamawannabe6360 Like that would make a difference, if he (the boss) takes interest in the one employee; a dozen other employees around wouldn’t stop them 😂

[@spaRKLES88604]

Her feelings are valid but they are just that feelings. insecurities. Leave if they cheat. you can't control anything but yourself.

[@nly4607]

Yes she should leave to maybe find a man she doesn't love as much or who will probably also cheat lol Ladies you can have a man other women want, a guy with money OR a guy who doesn't cheat. Life is about choices

[@aqua6613]

@@nly4607 get a cat 😹

[@nly4607]

@@aqua6613 you sound fat and black....are you an obese single mom like most African American women?

[@As24531]

@@nly4607that’s an insane statement, plenty of dudes have money, other women want them, and don’t cheat. It’s only weak men who can’t control themselves

[@nly4607]

@As24531 lol there is a difference between turning down a flattering offer once every couple years and constantly women throwing themselves at you. It is childish and egotistical to throw away a family because a man had a weak moment and slept with a women he doesn't care about because she came on really strongly.

[@KingOfPlastics]

This is a tough one. But theres an old saying, "once you open that door, theres no closing it. No matter what walks though" This may work fine. But i tend to lean to the side of Risk Aversion.

[@honoreejennings1998]

So true! Great analogy!

[@dontworry1568]

affairs dont just happen. its a daily choice.

[@cheesygal]

My husband and I established a rule for each other. The car can be the same as a bedroom (do I need to explain that?) so no driving together in the car with the opposite sex. No “work dinners” either. It feels like a date, no matter how evolved we are. Anything that you would do on a date, don’t do with other opposite sex people. Very simple. If you think you would NEVER cheat on your spouse, that’s when the trouble can happen. Because you’re not watching out and protecting your relationship.

[@-KMA-]

When men get married they know what the future holds and some still commit. If you’re all about wanting to sleep with an x number of women until you die, don’t marry anyone because you’ll just hurt them and that’s selfish as hell. Goes for women too. It’s not that complicated. Marriage is hard and if you want to leave because you want to sleep with a coworker, you may want to go to therapy. Be honest and upfront before you do, even if it’s going to hurt someone.

[@boxelder9147]

The future is divorce

[@nly4607]

It really is crazy for a women to marry a guy her age and be shocked there are more attractive fertile women he'd be happier with throwing themselves at him

[@alluringbliss4165]

Many men just want to cheat and not leave the marriage.

[@nly4607]

@Alluring Bliss exactly! It isn't cheating for a man if he sleeps with some random it becomes cheating when he expends resources on the random that should go to the family ie housing the 304 or having kids with it On the other hand, when women cheat it is 100% because she doesn't love her man anymore

[@JJtvee]

Gosh for someone who has jealousy issues why would she choose a beautiful woman to he with her husband side by side everyday! No no no. Find someone else!

[@sherryd.3425]

John, I'm 60 and I heard this from my female high school teachers. It's archaic. Being a mentor, teacher, supervisor, or administrator removes intimacy. Friendship and comradeship are fine. I've always been the overeducated, mentor boss in this situation from an early age. I have had both female and male employees who wanted to be my friend or establish intimacy. And yes, many of them were younger or older than I, and some of us had a genuinely possible mom/child, sister/brother, or life-long friend connection. It can't happen at work. Two years later...you can meet and laugh...ten years later...you can call and laugh. Yes, I still love you. We raised 45 difficult kids with love, compassion, humor, and professionalism..on pure guts and our personal dynamic alone. If that's not love and family, what is?

[@janelleg597]

what the hell kind of story is this family is BIOLOGICAL

[@sherryd.3425]

@@janelleg597 Please clarify.

[@l-train7876]

I have no idea what this comment means or how it’s related to the video.

[@sherryd.3425]

@@l-train7876 Jon's ideas are archaic. Men and women in the same work environment do not lead to intimacy...unless there is unprofessionalism and intent. Police yourselves.

[@eurekahope5310]

I disagree. Look how many people have fallen in love with their bosses. My grandmother married hers.

[@blitzkrieg6872]

This has nothing to do with jealousy. To call her jealous is an insult. Any wife who allows this is just stupid and would be inviting trouble. As a wife it would be a huge HELL NO!!!!

[@FabriceLabako]

It's absolute jealousy. She was the one in favor of hiring her aswell because "she was the best candidate" everything else would not make sense.

[@blitzkrieg6872]

@@FabriceLabako Well, then I guess you are right that it's jealousy. Yet, it's a self induced jealousy because she stupidly thought it was ok to hire a woman (maybe a very hot one?) to work along side of her husband Day in and day out. Maybe stopping at lunch time to get a couple of burgers and cokes (together of course). Maybe telling a few jokes and sharing mutual laughs (together of course). Maybe offering each other cigarettes on breaks. Complimenting each others perfumes and colognes. What could go wrong?

[@FabriceLabako]

@@blitzkrieg6872 I mean I get that but then it means that your SO can only be loyal to you without temptations (which I actually do believe in most cases). The problem here is that attractive women will do have issues in hiring processes if everybody, who runs a family business will not hire women because of reasons like that. It would have been a stupid business decision to hire a man, who is less qualified. Isn't that what feminists often complain about? And I'm by no means a feminist. I do believe in meriocraty and that's what happenend there.

[@blitzkrieg6872]

@@FabriceLabako I appreciate your feedback! Everthing you have stated here makes sense and is perfectly logical. My perspective here is based on emotion and personal experience, only. I speak from the point of view of someone that has been cheated on in the past, more than once and how it forever creates trust issues. We women truly understand female nature and alot of us have trust issues when it comes to other women around our spouses and the danger that can happen if they are very attractive.

[@FabriceLabako]

@@blitzkrieg6872 I mean sure I get that. But if it was me and I would want to step out, I wouldn't have sex with my employee. Because that's why too risky. But sure some people men and women are dumb and do have affairs at the workplace.

[@marioayala5881]

I agree 1000% with not working solo with a woman however she needs to control what she can and that’s looking attractive for her husband and that goes both ways.

[@wfrencher80]

I disagree with John on this one. Im an union journeysperson electrician. Ive had my own service van and have had experience with training apprentices one on one. Im also married, and have been married for almost 6 years now. When im out in the field, and im over a customer's house, and we're charging them $100/hr to troubleshoot an issue, or put up a ceiling fan, or run a new circuit to the kitchen for their new appliance, the last thing im thinking about is how i can cheat on my wife. And im definitely not spending time checking out my apprentice. If im installing a hot tub, im making sure that i size the wire correctly to handle the load of that hot tub. I know what size wire to use based on table 310.16 in the 2020 NEC code book. I also know that my breaker needs to have GFCI protection based on article 680. I also have to follow the manufacturers instructions because article 110.3(C) tells me im required to follow what the manufacturer says. And meanwhile i have to make sure that im teaching my apprentice this knowledge also, while keeping in mind that the customer doesnt want me wasting time and racking up a large bill for them to pay. When we're out in the field time is money, and we have to make money so we can pay our bills. We also have to make sure we're doing the work safely and providing great customer service. This doesn't leave time for us to flirt with our apprentices. And i dont care if i have a guy or a lady apprentice. I want someone who wants to learn, who wants to be in this trade, and who is willing to work hard. And both a man or a woman are capable of doing this work.

[@HaveCommonSense76]

Who are you trying to convince?

[@charlieosko4151]

Right! Most people go to work to work. These comments are outrageous.

[@vivianvandermerwe1380]

So how do affairs start in a work setting then? Even if there are hundreds of people together, let alone only two. Its different if there are only two people together and alone most of the day

[@4everu984]

Let’s go caveman, may help you. Women: born with every egg we will ever have. Men: get millions of opportunities in one act and can have several times a day and a variety of women. Cheating is opportunistic. I find you a rookie in marriage, get to 3 or 4 seven year itches and then bring something wise to the conversation. Of course people can not cheat, we are not monkeys….but having wifey at home and unresolved is bad for all.

[@johnwayne7505]

@@vivianvandermerwe1380 When you cheat it is because you choose to do it it doesn’t happen by accident.

[@r.l.shawver6165]

I am so glad you pointed out it wasnt wise to have a female coworker like this. And im prpud of the comment section. Almost all have said the same. Congrats Jon!

[@kristinenelson990]

I have a husband who 💯 would not be unfaithful. Together, we set up communication and boundaries in this area. He is a former professional athlete. I modeled decades ago. If either one of us ever has the instinct to be unfaithful even emotionally, we both have agreed to leave the marriage. We rush to each other to share when we are in vulnerable situations. We both have found it so easy to get ourselves in vulnerable situations and this is what hurt our previous marriages & partners. It feels good to have this trust & stability established finally.

[@nordikcajun5417]

Hire a woman to work every day side by side with husband. What can go wrong 😑? 😂

[@bethanynorman1829]

Even if she knows her husband would never try anything with another woman, it's the optics of it all. Other people may look at the setup and make their own assumptions about her marriage/her husband, and they don't want to invite that upon themselves.

[@KufLMAO]

Why the hell should they care what other people might think. Live on YOUR terms. Trying to please people you don’t even know is stupid.

[@riverafamilia]

DUDE YOU SAW UNDEROATH?!?! LET'S GOO!!!! My favorite band of all time growing up in middle/high school. I saw them many times in the glory days.

[@bethford6884]

I agree with John, this is playing with fire.

[@okaydude2863]

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this either. And I agree, everyone should be protected.

[@thejakelegion]

Video starts at 2:00 if you were curious.

[@joesillamanrs7189]

Doing god’s work bro!

[@beccadotelpy]

Thank you!

[@nowandthennn]

She and her Husband should have hired the best man to work with the Husband. The Husband may be totally trustworthy and the woman he hired may have character, but you really don’t know that person and if she does come on him in any way he’s going to be on edge all the time fighting advances or fighting lust , fighting rumors of people seeing your husband riding around with a woman all the time . Why take the chance . Hire a man to work with your husband and hire a woman to work with the wife when she gets involved with the business in the future .

[@intentionalgreatness]

The Dawson's Creek comment and theme song snippet made me laugh out loud😂😂😂

[@patriciat5323]

So funny when he sings! I love it!

[@makeapennycry]

Ok at the risk of being the person who goes against the grain here, “she’s tall, she’s beautiful… they’re together all day etc” ( probably sharing meals together) there is a whole lot of gut feeling going off in this caller and by her own admission she hired against that. As great as her husband is, he’s not Superman. Even if she thinks she knows her husband, she doesn’t really know this woman ( not like hubby is going to get to) and she handed him over to her. Even if hubby is trustworthy to a point; if that other woman finds him attractive, she’ll move on it and now hubby is in the test of his life. If he fails, he has the perfect alibi, “ they’re just working together “. I’ve seen unexpected things happen in new couples as well as older long married couples. Don’t expect your husband to be Superman, look out for his best interest and don’t push him into temptation if you don’t have to. Every time I witnessed a situation go wrong I was completely surprised. The last time, it was a respectable, tall and beautiful gallery manager who fell for a union leader , she found him attractive and moved on him( working together on business), he had a respectable marriage for over 30 years, wife who had cancer, and the business lunches got longer and longer. Long story short, the wife is now the ex and the gallery manager is married to the union rep. Nothing wrong with putting up a few safeguard rules to help protect your marriage.

[@nly4607]

This is why it's so stupid for a woman to marry a man her age and expect him to stay with her. It is just impossible for a successful guy not to have dozens of opportunities for happiness just throwing themselves at him for decades.

[@Cooniez]

@makeapennycry - I completely agree with you. Her gut is probably telling her she has some reason to be worried and I hope for their family's sake that nothing has happened or will happen. Tricky situation, but she definitely shouldn't have hired this female just to prove a point to herself. Now she's in this mess.

[@Openingtheshadow]

Yeah I’d feel uncomfortable too. I’d definitely do some shadow work and get your energy to a higher vibration more consistently learning to love yourself, and let the old story fall away. It’s all inner work.

[@fg6418]

The last thing I’m going to do with my young good money making husband is have him work alone with a hot girl all day. Even the good men get tempted I wouldn’t be the one putting him in the situation. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@steverodgers5628]

“She’s not going to ‘Hand That Rocks The Cradle’ me” is a great line 😂😂😂

[@carolynocallaghan2458]

To accomplish stability through performance...my god those words ring in my brain like a bell.

[@kimberlysmith7625]

Dr. Delony is spot on....the number one reason people have an affair is access. Talk this over with your husband. That this scenario makes you uncomfortable should be enough for your husband to understand how you feel. Would he agree to hiring a single, attractive man to help you out with the business at home all day? Heck, no. She's got to go. She's not the only qualified candidate on the planet.

[@nly4607]

@wordsalad You can't fire someone for being an attractive woman lol What does this lady expect she married a successful guy her age OBVIOUSLY there are going to be dozens of more attractive women he would be way happier with throwing themselves at him every year for decades...

[@olivias2836]

@@nly4607 right… if this woman is fired now with a record of stellar performance and no disciplinary issues at work this just screams potential wrongful termination suit waiting to happen… not to mention there’s documented proof with this call… why did they hire this woman in the first place ?!

[@ineedhoez]

This is not accurate. The number one reason why people have affairs is because they feel dead inside.

[@nly4607]

@wordsalad The original poster advised firing which is terrible advice Women only find 5-15% of men attractive. If women are around enough to get her jealous he aint ugly

[@sherryd.3425]

@@olivias2836 Because she is personable, qualified, and was the best candidate. Totally questionable.

[@DBS472]

The woman working there owns that business now. National radio call that shows “right or wrong” wrongful termination / discrimination in promotions down the road. If she finds this call, they should pay her 50k to leave the business at this point before the lawsuit happens 1 year or 5 years from now

[@justforfun-n6e]

I love this. Thank you for the insightful answer, Dr. John

[@patricec9927]

great advice Dr John! sensible decisions to reduce tempting fate.

[@MissIngridsclass]

Recipe for disaster. Playing with fire. Love happens.

[@salonsavy6476]

Wow ,, I grew up with a alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother 🙀

[@sherryd.3425]

I'm still raising them. Their in their eighties and just won't die. I think they might be mellowing. When I say "Quiet time for 20 minutes." They comply and seem to appreciate it. Baby steps.

[@kirstinalphabet796]

@ivans3778 She was simply connecting the dots in her own life. No need for douchery.

[@ec-kj4yp]

HUGE mistake hiring that woman to ride along with your husband all day. Wife is right to be scared of him cheating. Need to cut that off asap, and the problem is that it's going to be a very very dicey issue at this point. She is going to feel stupid telling him she doesn't want him doing that now, and he is going to feel like she's overreacting and thinking badly of him - not a good scene.

[@tracyguenther4547]

This is not good. The husband should have never agreed to hiring a single female. You would think he would have felt uncomfortable.

[@CrystalM1917]

Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Proverbs 6:27. That's why you abstain from the very appearance of evil.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

💯

[@musume7723]

Her concerns are 100% valid. I wonder what happened with them since this call

[@lesliesmith719]

Yes John never let her finish her feelings. I would love to know how she did handle this situation. John goes down rabbit holes all the time.

[@devchonka18]

6:31 nooooo.... my wanrning bells are going off here. No way would i be comfortable with my husband working with a woman this closely every day

[@Onetakelifestyle3323]

😂 it’s 2024 equal opportunity remember? You guys fought for this 😂

[@KufLMAO]

Why? Honestly. I don’t get this mentality.

[@christinahek]

Can we stop rebranding working motherhood stay-at-home motherhood? She's a mom who works from home co-running his business. It might be part-time (and she may not directly earn a paycheck, which short changes her mightily if true). But stay-at-home moms don't hire workers and whatever else she does (scheduling, payroll, the books) for "our" business.

[@MrsYoung-in9ov]

My husband thinks it’s ok to dance with other women (two step, country swing, etc.) at the country western club. I hate this and don’t think it’s ok. He sneaks and does it when I’m out of town or we’re separated. Please someone tell me I’m not being crazy? We are Christian and I just think it’s dumb to touch another woman in the club when we put boundaries at church.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

Ma'am, please know you are not crazy. Him doing this whenever you're not around is very telling. Please bring this up with your marriage ministry at church for accountability.

[@blitzkrieg6872]

Your husband is doing you wrong by dancing with other women. Especially when you are out of town. I consider it cheating. It's just one step away.

[@anissaholmes4495]

I agree with the two other comments. This man is showing a lack of respect. Would he go crazy if the shoe were on the other foot? I bet he would be furious. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

[@WemmieFemmie]

As much as she trusts her husband and perhaps the other woman as well, I would not have her working for the company any longer. I don't know how that would work as far as letting her go, but I would find a way.

[@lesliesmith719]

Amen

[@WemmieFemmie]

@@lesliesmith719 Exactly and it's not insecurity on the wife's part. The husband could develop an emotional attachment that is a danger to the marriage.

[@Ayaa29048]

You accomplish stability through performance. Thats HUGE.

[@albertomarin2199]

My input…Not a good idea to send your husband with a young girl all day long to work. Any married Man would love to be working and driving around with young girl all day. You are sending the sheep into a lion’s’ mouth. People fall in love, when they spend time together.

[@blitzkrieg6872]

This is SO true and i am a female.

[@philwill0123]

And what of the assumption that the girl doesn't like this? You have now got an obsessive predator in a position of power and sent a girl there to deal with that, were her knowing if she complains about unwanted attention, she loses her job

[@Dmm314]

I get what you’re saying John. Don’t set yourself up for failure but that access cannot be revoked forever. We live in a society where integration is EVERYWHERE. Not everyone is fortunate enough to run their own business. However what can be controlled is her insecurity. She cannot control what may eventually happen with her husband and any woman, but she can work on herself and understand that just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he wants to sleep with everything walking even IF they spend time together. She has to be confident in herself, her marriage and have faith in her husband that IF it came to that he’ll make the right decision. I’m not gonna hire two people just to feed into an insecurity that we can work through, I’m not gonna hire someone ugly to make you FEEL good. Notice the key word “ FEEL “ yes her feelings matter but they shouldn’t and can’t drive everything you do. If he is gonna cheat I promise there is nothing she can do to stop it, she’ll only prolong it. Have faith in your husband to do the right thing, let that insecurity go because if you don’t you will be the cause of the thing you fear to happen 🤷🏾

[@DeRocco21]

seems like the romance is gone, if the romance isnt there this insecurity pops up, when a couple has the romance your less inclined to have the need to look for it somewhere else

[@SpoonHurler]

UnderOATH!!! Dr. John is awesome.

[@SeanNMathis85]

John you just earned extra brownie points in my book for being a Underoath fan! 🤘🏼

[@tiffanysweeley4553]

Thank God you finally said that Dr I was sitting here thinking that the whole time why would she hire a beautiful woman to spend all day every day with her husband? No woman that I know in her right mind would hire a female to spend every day all day with her husband Because just what you said it’s all about access. It’s not being sexist to say no to the woman and her a man instead, it is using common sense to not bring troubles where there doesn’t need to be any. She just brought a bunch of stress on herself where she could have easily just hired a guy he’s training them anyway so he would probably be just as good but here she is all jealous and she’s brought a woman into their business. I’m sorry, but that was about the dumbest thing you can do.

[@vanessaarreola1269]

As journeyman electrician ⚡️ of 10 years I can assure you we do not want to sleep with your husbands. I too got alot of hate from my journeyman’s wives. I was 21 years old when I got into the apprenticeship. I just want to learn my craft and work . Fast forward 10 years own 2 homes , married and 2 kiddos. I’m grateful for the opportunity I got! Imagine if I wasn’t given the opportunity because I’m a woman working in a men dominated industry. Now I train men and women of all different ages.

[@strtupg]

Oh man. That’s all bad. Good dude in a sketchy situation. Tall, beautiful . . .

[@nasegura]

Sorry, but this one is definitely asking for it! No way would I put my husband in up in that situation. We are human.

[@davidandamandaboots]

She was the best qualified? My husband wouldn't even consider hiring a woman in that scenario. Dangerous and looks bad to outsiders.

[@PleaseElaborate]

Yeah, no. I'm a man and I'd never feel it appropriate to have that close of a working relationship with a woman who wasn't my wife. "Access" is 100% right. You have to exercise restraint at the grocery store, because it's not going to happen at the pantry.

[@cabayern9416]

Agree with John regarding the hiring of the female.

[@sherryd.3425]

I don't! John is out dated.

[@travelnurseadventures3225]

great just great

[@traceycurtis1005]

It comes down to is your husband a man of character? If he is go fix yourself and your issues. If not you married the wrong man in the first place. My husband is an electrician too and I trust if a woman came at him naked he'd say no he has too much integrity to break his values and morals.

[@sherryd.3425]

Not to mention, if I'm on the job, and a man or woman came at me naked, I'd be counting the number of diseases I could contract before sexual desire ever kicked in. That's me screaming for help and running for safety. Who has that kind of insurance these days?

[@SaystheTruth3]

​@@sherryd.3425 I betcha a man wouldn't care lol!

[@sherryd.3425]

@@SaystheTruth3 Oh, probably not until the lawsuit.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

High morals go out the window sometimes when there is opportunity. Wives have to stop being naive and thinking my husband loves me sooo much he would never. He is a man

[@victoriaporsiempre]

is so sad to be anxious about thinking a partner would cheat we just don’t trust