Why Are More Women Saying No To Having Kids?

[@UChicago]

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[@arturoBbrito]

Combine abortion and vasectomy with economical views, like entitlements, you’ll see a change. Especially when an individual gets older, how important have someone to lookout for you.

[@JMLgymnut]

Throughout history,there have always been people disinterested in becoming parents. Contrary to popular belief, not all women feel the drive to be mothers.

[@joeessig3550]

@@JMLgymnut yes, but there are unique factors at play in modern America-our birth rates are not normal, and we band-aid them with immigration. Demographic decline is a real and serious issue, one that most developed nations are struggling with. Japan has it the worst. It’s not just “oh it’s so hard to raise kids”, it’s a million social/economic/cultural factors. It’s social media, it’s luxury lifestyles, it’s the bad relationship men and women have with each other, it’s dating apps, it’s promiscuity, it’s politics. It’s not just “oh we need more tax breaks” or “oh it’s because men are bad”.

[@matthewatwood8641]

Most by far. You can just stop the cap right now.

[@---Dana----]

There is no "drive to be mothers". It's just social conditioning.

[@---Dana----]

​@@joeessig3550A lower population, about half, would be wonderful.

[@matthewatwood8641]

@@---Dana---- absolutely false. It is a natural drive, and you have to be really foolish to believe otherwise. This stuff is all obvious. Propaganda is a powerful tool, but only if people allow it to be.

[@NRob0]

I knew when I was 12 that I didn’t want children. It doesn’t look fun. I’m old now and I have never changed my mind.

[@XXLady]

Ditto. I was 8 and knew I was destined to be an auntie, not a mommy. Never changed my mind and am glad of it.

[@rennu2905]

Me too, I am 30 now and still not changed my mind. Never will.

[@mosselyn5081]

Same! I always tell people I didn't like children even when I was one. I just don't have the mommy gene: I never coo at babies, I am not charmed by toddlers, etc. I am in my 60s now, and have never regretted my childlessness.

[@middleagebrotips3454]

You WILL change your mind when you blah blah blah - some natalist boomer

[@margaretjohnson6259]

@@middleagebrotips3454 boomer here. my closest friends and i didn't have children. no regrets.

[@MeganHumphries-x7d]

Will start with I am an American. Wages and expenses that don't allow you to support yourself, let alone someone else. The expense of actual childbirth. The world seems like a dumpster fire most of the time. You get judged for everything you do or don't do for or with your kids. No guaranteed healthcare or time off. And that is assuming no special needs.Why don't people want to have a ton of children? It's a mystery....

[@peopleofearth6250]

Well, that's your problem. Now go solve it 😎

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@peopleofearth6250 No it ain't. That's why the birth rate can go right into the toilet. 😎😎🤠

[@peopleofearth6250]

@@incisivecommenter5974 Cry harder. It's funny 😆

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@peopleofearth6250 Not as hard as you're crying with you happy sock🙊

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@@peopleofearth6250 projection, projection, projection

[@savagesweetheart90]

Knew since I was 10 years old that I never wanted children. Not everyone single person should have children, there are PLENTY of people who have children that really shouldn't.

[@joeessig3550]

@@savagesweetheart90 yes, but more people should have children then currently are having them. It’s not complicated.

[@matthewatwood8641]

You probably grew up in a dysfunctional family. Or maybe we're even abused. Either one or both of those things is terrible for any child, But it doesn't mean that most people shouldn't have children. That's just simply not true. Most people are decent people who make good parents. You can't just make up the facts that you want.

[@---Dana----]

​@@joeessig3550Absolutely not! The human population is double what it should be.

[@joeessig3550]

@@---Dana---- according to who? You sound like a eugenicist. Like seriously. Whenever someone talks like you, the only question is why don’t you start with yourself.

[@joeessig3550]

@@---Dana---- we aren’t in a shortage of resources or space, and we have a major degree of control over those components. Yes, climate change is real. Yes, resources are finite. That’s not profound! What is profound is finding new ways for humanity to thrive that doesn’t include inhibiting our most basic drives. “Wahhh I think everyone should stop having kids because I have apocalyptic fantasies!” Every era has had apocalyptic fears. They are real, but they can be overcome. You are literally suicidal on a humanity-wide scale, yet pretend to be a humanitarian. Fuck you. Have kids.

[@jessicaharris1608]

1. Pregnancy is dangerous even in supposedly low risk pregnancies 2. Childbirth sounds excruciating plus some post birth body changes are permanent (I don't mean only c-section scars either) 3. Genetically my mother had difficult pregnancies and hemorrhaged after the births of me and my brother 4. My husband and I both have ADHD and he probably also has ASD. Both conditions are genetic and the probability of our genetic child having at least ADHD is higher than 50% 5. I genuinely do NOT like children below the age of about 5 years old. 6. I have enough sleep problems as it is, I don't need to be waking up every few hours to tend a tiny human. 7. I'm too old to start trying now, at nearly 40. 8. My husband's job now is just starting to give us the income for anything larger than an apartment especially in this insane economy. We would need a bigger place at least in a better, quieter neighborhood if we wanted a child. 9. I have sensory issues. I could NOT handle the noise of a shrieking crying baby/toddler or the perseverating repetition of especially young children. 10. Parents need babysitters and help with childcare. I will gladly help to give those parents the needed time away. Then I can be a positive influence on the next generation without the pressures of 24/7/365 parenting. 11. I can barely manage adulthood now. I cannot handle more responsibilities and the mess that comes with children!

[@erinues7._-]

Sister preach. You are me. Literally

[@jessicaharris1608]

@erinues7._- I'm so grateful that my husband has always been entirely on board with the NO procreating. For a while, I wanted to adopt a child that was at least elementary school age, but I think perhaps auntie or temporary fostering could be all that I could handle. The NO procreating issue was so huge to me that it was a dealbreaker question. I asked/told my husband about it on our first date cause I didn't want to waste time or emotional investment if he disagreed. We met when we were both over 30, and neither of us had been married before. I wasn't wasting time and, more importantly, emotional investment in a relationship that could not lead to the altar. It's been 7 years since we eloped, and I could not have met a more compatible man for me.

[@erinues7._-]

@@jessicaharris1608 You are me. It's CRAZY. Like I read my mind!!!! Same, but we were in our early 20s when we got together so we went through all of life's phases together now 10 years later and 1 year married we are thinking when and if we still live at our 40s to help financially grown abandoned kids like in their teens with studies etc like mentors.

[@erinues7._-]

jessicaharris1608 You are me. It's CRAZY. Like I read my mind!!!! Same, but we were in our early 20s when we got together so we went through all of life's phases together now 10 years later and 1 year married we are thinking when and if we still live at our 40s to help financially grown abandoned kids like in their teens with studies etc like mentors.

[@joeessig3550]

Lol

[@marys2406]

What they really wanted to say "Why Are More Women Saying No To Having More Workers?

[@theintrovertedaspie9095]

Not just workers, but consumers.

[@vickimerritt2832]

Some women do not just want children, they want a true loyal partner, happy, cared for family and a decently maintained home, regardless of its size or type. Men do painfully little to achieve what should be shared goals and labor. Stop putting the onus on just women, but look to men and society.

[@Ravenelvenlady]

Oh no, now that is considered misandry. You cannot criticize men at all or hold them accountable.

[@oldscratch3535]

​@@RavenelvenladyWhat are you talking about? Men have all the responsibility with little to no authority.

[@joeessig3550]

You understand that there are obviously issues with everyone, right? Yes, men, but yes women, too. How can you guys be so narrow minded

[@Dangerous_Peace]

​@@joeessig3550because at what point of History were women able to create laws to control men? Especially ones that allow them to marry children

[@zekewalker1350]

@@joeessig3550because we live in a society that expects women to do majority of the work in childrearing. There may be problems with all people, but in our society, men are not expected to help women with kids. And women want to have agency and work for their own money the same way men do, so why should they sacrifice any amount of that for children when they know their husbands won’t be expected to make the same sacrifices? The work is uneven and until our society starts to view parents as sharing equal responsibilities in spending time with & making sacrifices for their kids, men will continue to be a large part of the problem

[@Matthew-rp3jf]

Cost. Men cant afford a kid these days either. Corporate america and the wealthy have squeezed us to the breaking point.

[@Ryanrobi]

Do you realize the average American is far far more wealthy than people were 50 or 100 years ago? This makes no sense as an argument... Look anywhere in the world that is in order a magnitude poorer and they have more kids does not take a lot of money to have kids in fact it's quite the opposite the less money you have the more kids you have even in the United States people that have higher household incomes in more education have far fewer children than people that have low to moderate income and lower education.

[@Ravenelvenlady]

@Ryanandboys FALSE! The wages have stagnated since the 1970s and inflation is off the chain! People are NOT going back to raising children in abject poverty. It's not happening! Deal with it!

[@Smw006]

​@@RyanrobiThe way you construct the context for your rebuttal is...interesting.

[@vg7985]

@@Ryanrobilol. You gotta be kidding with your argument. Are you raising your kid to be a goat shepherd in rural Africa or IT professional or doctor in America? The costs are totally different, and you need to invest into your kids starting from early childhood. Some clueless men think that raising kid is just giving them piece of bread and disciplining them with the belt. This is another reason why women don’t have children. Because men (no all, thanks God) are clueless about the cost of raising them.

[@nurabusnaq6367]

That is true. There was a time when not only men could afford children, his income alone was enough, now even both a man and a woman working full time can’t make enough.

[@babyg7796]

Because 90% these men will make terrible partners & terrible fathers-why deal with it? All of the other things are just the cherry on top. Everyone wins-men don’t have to deal with women, women don’t have to permanently be shackled to a man & innocent kids aren’t caught in the middle-it a win win! 🏆

[@habibikebabtheiii2037]

90 percent of women will be just as terrible. I can't believe the misandry.

[@babyg7796]

@@habibikebabtheiii2037 all the more reason it’s a win win situation if women stop having kids! 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Maderlololohio]

​@@habibikebabtheiii2037 if that is true then it's downright dangerous for the kids those women would have so they r doing the right thing either way

[@DeneseJamerson]

YEASSS! Y'ALL ALL GET A COOKIE!

[@joeessig3550]

We are so cooked lol. It’s not a win-win to stop reproducing

[@arcanineryu]

The only reason i could afford to get a single puppy was because i work a full time job and have two roomates richer than me who chip in. Children are significantly more expensive and time consuming than a puppy.

[@wandah9468]

Just what a man sounds like when he asks a woman for a child. The mentality of a 6 year old. "I promise i will take care of it!" A promise that is always broken. Dont get a young child a pet, unless youre prepared to do all the work. Its not their pet, its YOURS. Never give a boy a child, same result. Dont give a man a chance to behave like an adolescent. Kick him out fast! You dont have the rest of your life to wait for the boy to grow up. No woman does. Boys, step aside and let a REAL MAN take care of this.

[@joeessig3550]

@@wandah9468 You are fucking insane, lady.

[@shirleynoble685]

If you have serious doubts about your ability to feed, clothe and house a child, why would you go ahead and do it anyway? Is that wise or humane?

[@reuvenpolonskiy2544]

People in the past were ALWAYS much poorer and ALWAYS brought much more children, so this cannot be due to economic reason.

[@sarahhaley7458]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544It’s Socio-economic for me. I can barely control my own time. If I had a child, it would cost my entire life- which would be worth considerably less- and I wouldn’t be in a position to protect my child from predators that prey on poverty- or be around to be a mother- because “motherhood” would mean I have to live to work and there simply isn’t time- even if there was a will- which even talking to men these days- they seem to think women are subhumans that owe them everything because they built the whole world with their superior strength and intelligence, etc ... they still think telling you you’re beautiful is a compliment- find reasons to touch you- completely don’t get any difference between right and wrong- they were raised by trash T.V... and obviously my day is happier the less I have to deal with them!

[@etaylor8028]

I am a 31 year old married woman, stable marriage, with no debt except for our mortgage. Here are the reasons I'm not having kids (I won't even mention financial reasons): 1) I prefer being able to sleep in every day. I also prefer having fewer household chores. 2) This may sound odd, but I don't identify with the term "mother". I hear "mother" and I just think "family slave", and that doesn't sound like something I want. 3) It is not a guarantee your child will love you forever, nor is that their job. They do not belong to you simply for sharing your dna. I am not my child; we are two separate beings. A lot of people have kids because they want someone to unconditionally love them, and to me that's creepy. 4) There is no guarantee you will even like your kid. Your kid could turn out in a way that triggers or disappoints you. Imagine spending 20 years taking care of someone that you end up not even liking. 5) As much as I love my spouse, there is still a high chance of divorce, meaning high chance of becoming a single mother. Society has demonized single mothers so much that I just don't want to be a part of it. Plus, not having kids would make divorce so much easier. We would never "stay together for the kids". We stay together because we want to. 6) We are on the brink of environmental catastrophe with regards to global warming. Having kid(s) is just more people to take care of in that chaotic environment. 7) I don't want to be pregnant and I don't want to give birth. All of that sounds horrible. 8) I can see myself deriving more purpose from giving to humanity in the form of charity work and things like that, versus just being a mother. 9) A lot of misogynistic conservative type men are trying to force women into giving birth, and the rebel in me enjoys going against that. 10) I reject being told "your purpose as a human is to procreate". I am not a cow on a farm. I'd argue that my purpose is to be happy.

[@FatimaBarkatulla]

So essentially the reasons are: selfishness, fear, individualism and materialism. I urge you to think carefully, many women who did this in the past grew to regret it and say they were lied to all their lives. Having children is and always has been human nature: to have descendants, a loving family in old age, to pass on your values, to experience motherhood (an indescribable, unique love) - you are choosing to miss out on all of that. It’s our modern toxic culture that’s causing people to think this way.

[@c.f.okonta8815]

Spoken like a true feminist

[@etaylor8028]

@@c.f.okonta8815 how do you define a feminist?

[@etaylor8028]

@@FatimaBarkatulla I have three great aunts who did not have children. They all lived very happy lives well into old age. My two grandmothers on the other hand both died younger than them. I agree that life is about friends and family and the connections you make, but you do not need to physically have children to have that. All I know is in my own lived experience, the women in my family who had children seemed unhappier than the women who didn’t. My own mother had severe postpartum depression when she had my sister and me. Having children is not for everyone. Every woman and every person on the planet is different. If having children clearly made everyone on the planet happier then we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

[@ltlwlwl5057]

❤❤❤. Totally agree!

[@amandacarter291]

I'm a woman who doesn't have or want kids and my reasoning is money, stress, trauma, and the enormous amount of work it will take. Most people i know or am related to who have had kids had them with no plans and some are okay while others are struggling, but they're all stretched very thin and constantly on the edge of one breakdown after another. I just choose not to and thats ok

[@incisivecommenter5974]

Men are not putting in the 50%of labor of raising a child. Its not just the money, its the labor. Younger women are not willing to put up with a lopsided arrangement. Hurray for them!!!🎉🎉

[@peopleofearth6250]

Why would we? We aren't getting anything in return. Why would we put in MORE effort when we're getting less? 🤔

[@lisa6356]

​@peopleofearth6250, when did men give something? They never did. I know that, and many women know that. The only reason women were with men was because society forced them by law, religious institutions, and any type of shameless tactics.

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@peopleofearth6250 Exactly! Men are useless. There, you proved the point.

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@peopleofearth6250 Exactly you said it! Men are useless, always have been. You proved the point💯💯

[@teresamagnusson]

I'm so proud of young women. Let those birth rates drop.

[@mellie4174]

" the history of non motherhood" 🤬🤬🤬🤬 men are equally responsible in procreation! Why are you NOT talking about the history of non fatherhood!??

[@kaybrown7733]

Because it's about controlling women, not babies or men.

[@jacquelynn2051]

@@kaybrown7733I agree but it’s also about controlling children…future slave earners and breeders and men future breeders and slaves…but men don’t see this if they are blinded by the patriarchy they don’t see how it harms them too because they are so needy to be controlling over some woman or meeting with a minor on predcatchers

[@user-ld6wo4rv8h]

Shut up.

[@juicyparsons]

💯💯💯💯💯☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾

[@juicyparsons]

That's a much deeper history 🤦🏾‍♀️😂

[@teoleno4019]

Because women are getting smarter and they can finally support themselves. If your granny had the same opportunities as we do, you would not exist either

[@Joshua-eo5hr]

Sounds like we need Taliban rules again

[@Joshua-eo5hr]

They're getting more entitled 😄

[@derek4412]

Women can only “financially support themselves” because men invented and maintain the hardware of society. Electricity? Paved roads? Plumbing? Computers and the internet? Men do the most important work and then women work on things that exist downstream of that: marketing, mass elementary education, HR, helping professions, etc The idea that women can do it without men is an illusion. We all live in a society, and everybody contributes and has a role to play.

[@jackbauer580]

Your granny was happier with a family around her. Unlike you, happy only when you take your anti-depressants.

[@michumomo]

@@Joshua-eo5hrentitled to what?

[@nicolejennings8389]

It's work. Free labor which a woman has to mother her husband and the children and the children's friends and later grandchildren, if there are any, women are given the most burden on it. Unpaid labor, slavery.

[@peopleofearth6250]

Right. This is why patriarchy is inevitable. When women are given rights and aren't forced to have children their society dies and gets replaced by societies in which women have no rights and are forced to have children 😂

[@c.f.okonta8815]

@@peopleofearth6250I agree

[@derek4412]

Raising your own children is not slavery. That is a disservice to the word “slavery“.

[@teoleno4019]

@derek4412 Shut up, male. The birth rates will continue on plummeting. And you can thank your father and grandad for it.

[@copperredd]

Especially if u have a special needs child

[@Tormekia]

The reality is that women, when they have the power to choose, can see parenthood as one of many life options. And it's fine to say ya know, I ain't got it in me. It's not my thing. And that's a good thing. When everyone who has a kid made that choice well informed and well provisioned, well. Those kids will be very well cared for. They will be wanted. Planned. And isn't that better? Kids deserve to be wanted from before they were born. By people who had choices. And chose THEM. That's a GOOD direction to go. We shouldn't just be looking at kids as future capitalism units.

[@reuvenpolonskiy2544]

This direction is a dead end. Any society taking it will disappear. Its just math.

[@Commentator488]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544 Still, people have a right to choose for themselves, no knee has a right to force them to have children. You have them, no one is forbidding you that and in same spirit, leave others to decide for themselves

[@reuvenpolonskiy2544]

@@Commentator488 I dont know how this comment is relevant to me. Have I suggested to force something on someone?

[@Commentator488]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544 Yes

[@blammela]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544if we used technology to support everyone we wouldn’t need an ever expanding societal model and second, every civilization that ever existed has imploded. The one we’ve built is unsustainable which is WHY so many people don’t want kids SO this society will also implode. Why people,act like this is a great mystery and a shame is beyond me.

[@blueamenaa749]

Women are saying no to slavery. ❤❤❤❤

[@WilcoxNotreallythere]

The fact you're calling parenthood slavery means love doesn't exist.

[@venkatviswanath]

​@@WilcoxNotreallythere Love obviously doesn't exist.

[@blueamenaa749]

@@WilcoxNotreallythere love exists because a lot of parents are still raising their kids and not giving up on them. Even if your life is full of sacrifices. But it doesn't mean it's a path everyone has a to follow.

[@vmvd]

​@@blueamenaa749 customs. society. lack of cond@ms. Choose

[@FeelTehPOWA]

​@@WilcoxNotreallythereforcing women (to tend to a man, birth, childcare, house labor) to do anything is slavery! Forcing anyone to do anything is slavery (brainwash included) yall dumb asf

[@roguecow9632]

I was born in 1963 and when I was growing up women were discouraged from having children, couldn't get health insurance that was affordable and constantly told 'humans were destroying the planet' and having children was criminal in a nation that consumed as much as USA. Plus, few men want to support a family and women don't like working full time jobs at home and at work.

[@lizzydreamer6940]

I think that while everything she said was true, she missed a very crucial part of the reason why women in particular are opting out of having kids: how men treat them. And I really thought she was going to touch on it when she mentioned that, while France and other countries have systems in place to make parenthood so much easier, their birthrate is still only slightly higher than the USA's. Maybe she mentions it in her book, I'd actually really like to read it and find out. But it has been proven that the biggest threat to pregnant women, besides childbirth itself, is domestic violence. Women are more likely to die at the hands of their husband / boyfriend than any stranger, as evidenced by all the past cases of husbands or boyfriends killing the wife / girlfriend, and even sometimes the kids. Even once the child is born, you now share a child with a man and are tied to him for a lifetime, whether you are separated, divorced or a single mom. Even if the man stays in the picture and doesn't necessarily abuse you, the labour is still unequally divided, causing more stress for the women. And if the guy leaves, you now have to raise a child (or more) on your own while working full-time to support yourself and your kids. I genuinely agree with everything she said, and it is very interesting to see the correlations to the past. But I think not addressing that part of the equation makes it seem like a much smaller problem than it actually is. The truth of the matter is that marriage and childbirth is a lose-lose situation for women, and more and more of us are realizing that and choosing to follow our careers, passions and dreams instead. I think there is also something to say with social media and technology playing a part, more people becoming disillusioned with religion, having more freedom to travel and follow our desires, etc. I'm honestly just tired of people thinking that women are opting out of childbirth at a whim or because they are selfish, when the truth is there is almost no reason to want to have kids in today's day and age. And with so many other options of lifestyles available to us, why would we choose to suffer pain, pregnancy, possible death or complications, having to take on all the responsibilities on top of taking care of ourselves, our kids, our partner, etc? Not even taking into account possible abuse - whether that is emotional, mental, physical, sexual or financial. It is like asking someone to choose between a cup of wine and a poisoned chalice. And if not wanting to drink poison is considered selfish, then I guess I - and many other women - are just selfish.

[@joeessig3550]

I love how a lot of women in this comment section feel like they are so compassionate and thoughtful, but yet they are so comfortable blaming half of people who exist. If you're saying "this vastly complicated phenomena is all your fault!", then that is generally a good sign that you have some internal dissonance that you are projecting. Like I'm sorry, nothing is easy. Men don't have it easy. It isn't fun to date as a man, either. Becoming tribalistically anti-male is not the virtuous path! It's self-destructive and will only embitter you further.

[@sarahhaley7458]

Thanks for saying something! That is my number one reason for not having children- I never met a man I that trusted myself- much less that I would trust with a child...and that’s just my “partner”... which I need because the world is worse?! No No no NO...Life sucks already- why put that on a baby? Birthers are monsters! Get that baby to work and therapy for all the work and the things we don’t talk about at work so we can get more work done!

[@cheetavontiebolt9971]

Cannot force women to have children

[@apap4950]

Y?

[@cheetavontiebolt9971]

@@apap4950 we own our bodies when a woman does not want her pregnancy it is bad for mothet and baby

[@LLewis-vu9qf]

But many politicians are sure trying to do just that!

[@monikapp3981]

In some states they do 😟

[@cheetavontiebolt9971]

@@monikapp3981 it is so wrong we decide our reproductive fate not the church not the state

[@courtneypuzzo2502]

have you ever thought that some women choose not to have children so they don't pass on their own medical issues such as blood clotting disorders mental health issues etc. or the fact that the average cost to raise a child from birth to age 18 is around 300,000 dollars plus some cities are already very expensive to live in such as Boston Los Angeles San Francisco New York etc.

[@eustatic3832]

Wages are 50% of what they should be, also it s not so much a bad thing

[@threeofeight197]

I think it’s a bad thing. A lot of people want a kid or two, and feel like they can’t afford it. It’s pretty sad really. You’re right about wages tho. It really is about material conditions. I’m not having a kid when I’m making $10 an hour with no health insurance.

[@WilcoxNotreallythere]

I'd have like three different entire families if I made enough money to just buy a house. The ladies don't want to have three kids in an astro van. Not white ladies anyway

[@Greenplanet949]

It is not only the extreme imbalance in work raising the child with a partner that is the problem but how dangerous pregnancy itself has become with the current crop of anti-abortion laws. Every day we read about women being maimed or even killed as the result of hospitals reticent to perform necessary procedures for fear of prison. If I were young now, I doubt I would want children.

[@angelahull9064]

California was able to drop their maternal mortality rate simply by providing better labor & delivery care by instituting more crash carts, more stringent blood pressure monitoring, and more accurate measures of blood loss. The medical establishment in the rest of the country is still dragging their feet at the thought of implementing such changes. It's about money and caring about all mothers regardless of race and class, not about whether abortion is available all 9 months of pregnancy.

[@reuvenpolonskiy2544]

The crush in birth-rates was before any anti-abortion laws. So no, that is not the reason.

[@Greenplanet949]

reuvenpolonskiy2544 I doubt it’s helping.

[@porkchoppeaches]

@@Greenplanet949Way to be belligerent and totally uninformed at the same time.

[@angelahull9064]

​​@@reuvenpolonskiy2544 yep

[@pixie3458]

I think young people just want a good life. My grandmother's born pre ww1 had hard lives, many children and they worked outside the home too. And they had husbands. My own mother warned me that if I had children, I would have 2 jobs, not one. A rare man who would share household responsibilities,

[@reuvenpolonskiy2544]

Question is, why women started to see children as bad life

[@Commentator488]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544 Because only they have to take care of them and only them have to go through childbirth

[@atropabelladonna]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544 I suggest you stay alone at home with a toddler for a few months and then come back to comment.

[@reuvenpolonskiy2544]

@@atropabelladonna I did, and it was usualy more fun then not.

[@atropabelladonna]

@@reuvenpolonskiy2544 good for you, maybe you should get more then and leave all of us who don't want it alone

[@VixxKong2]

Bad economy, to much corporate work hours compared to private life time, the cost of going to the hospital is insane, the cost of childcare is insane, I don't feel like looking for a husband that I'll probably have to micromanage

[@WilcoxNotreallythere]

"micromanage" With one word YOU are the problem.

[@Sarah-re7cg]

I’m childfree by choice and am a fairly new aunt and I absolutely adore my nieces. I love helping care for them and spend time with them. I get to help raise the next generation!

[@mugglescakesniffer3943]

People who don't want to have kids are smart and responsible enough not to have them that is good because there are many people having kids that have no business having kids.

[@mmraike]

What did the Dalai Lama say when at a public appearance, he was asked: "What is the biggest problem in the world today?" He responded immediately, "Overpopulation." Experts in ecological systems agree that our current population is far beyond Earth's carrying capacity. People who talk about our ability to feed more through agricultural tech are forgetting about non- human species - and they need a lot of space - and we need them to thrive for all of us to cohabitate. It has been said that 'Nature Needs Half' (of the planet). That's a gross underestimate.

[@ammar9909]

1. Cost- health care, day care, food, clothing, extra curricula’s, etc. 2. Unequal division of home labor 3. Environment 4. Unsafe gun laws - 1# killer of children in U.S. 5. Maternal Death Rates rising-poor healthcare 6. U.S. is not child friendly - no support systems kinda mixes with cost 7. Job availability loss in future - AI and robotics is going to take many jobs in future - less people less competition for same jobs and higher wages for all 8. Job loss or opportunity for raises and promotion loss for women

[@lucycooper9149]

My husband and I can barely cover a small mortgage on a small terrace in a middling part of a bad town. Children are not on the menu.

[@ninadiamant8937]

Stress maybe??? Job, health, emotional wellbeing, current economics, changed expectations etc... What is so difficult to understand?

[@kjkj4725]

We have one, we don’t have a village to help us. Last few months were extremely hard and now I am sure I am not going to have more kids. Another problem is increasing costs of living and affordability of housing and childcare. This is not a good time to have kids. Recession is coming and everyone feels it except politicians that are completely detached from reality of young families.

[@ladyeowyn42]

OAD is great. Ours just started kindergarten.

[@WilcoxNotreallythere]

The fact that you think it's going to be a recession is very optimistic since we're already in one.

[@XXLady]

The vast majority of parenting work falls on the mother. Many fathers do the bare minimum or even less. Even when the wife/mother earns more than the husband/father, she still gets stuck with most of the housework and childcare, burning herself out while her husband plays video games. And in most cases, for everything mothers give and sacrifice, they suffer lifelong medical issues after birthing a child with their husband's last name, rather than their own. It's a crummy deal for women. No thanks.

[@amuria55]

Wow, it's almost as if people love taking decisions about their own life, despite what others think, it's almost something along the lines of "freedom", yeah. It's a cool thing, freedom.

[@antinatalistwitch111]

😂 how dare we exercise our freedoms in a country that boasts about how free they are (marketing scheme)... How dare we use our free will with a god that the religious people claim gave us free will all along. 😂

[@daisyflower8362]

The list of reasons is a long one. Not gonna bring a child into this bs because I want to “experience” being a mom. Or to “leave a legacy”. All that is ego-based, selfish. Plus living through your kids is pathetic. If I want to improve the world I need to focus on my self-development. And then there’s the plentiful reasons that men give. And I’m not here to raise a child PLUS a man-child. A man that won’t carry as much of the weight as I will in raising that kid. A man that probably has never been to therapy and will only continue the cycle of trauma. Anywho. It’s always hilarious when I hear a man wants kids in the state of this society. Tells me he’s never taken care of a child before and has no idea what it takes. How much it sucks the life out of you. I love being able to get up and go as I please. Not going to sacrifice my dreams and goals to bring another life into the inevitable trauma of all this nonsense. But also in the end I can imagine how much I’d love my offspring and how much it would hurt to see them suffer…because this is beyond basic human pain we can’t escape…the pain of a patriarchal capitalist society destroys us all. For the immense love of an unborn, I refuse to tie them to this nightmare.

[@BekkaPoo]

This this this! ALL of this! You said it!

[@peopleofearth6250]

And this is precisely why patriarchy is inevitable. You were given rights and you use them to not have children, and so you will end up being replaced by women who are forced to have children because they have no rights. Welcome to reality. It sucks doesn't it? 😂

[@derek4412]

Can I ask what you mean by “self development“?

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@@daisyflower8362 This comment right here💯💯

[@kirin2560]

​@@derek4412Self development means personality growth and obtaining new skills.

[@vanessac1965]

One child in the first world consumes twelve times the resources of a child in the third world. At this time, having children is an act of violence. The social fabric no longer exists for it not to be cruel to the child. The world does NOT need more people at this time. Save your health, experience the Earth and give to worthy causes. A life well lived.

[@joeessig3550]

Oh my god, you are coping so badly lmao. Having children is good, actually. Being indirectly suicidal is actually not good. Americans are now proudly outsourcing having children to developing nations. Like do you think you're slowing down american consumption? We literally import people to offset our declining fertility. America's population will increase, just not due to white people. You're not changing anything, you're just rationalizing being single and not having kids.

[@jasonbarney4278]

“Can’t sustain the world’s population….” What was all that about how in a certain amount of years there won’t be enough resources to sustain the billions of ppl already here????

[@MAJ0R_TOM]

Please try thinking about how human life works for 5 seconds. You need young to support the elderly and dependent. The governments will simply leave the dependent out on the streets or euthanize them outright to avert economic collapse. Anyone who works in France just got a reminder of that last year when they raised retirement age from 62 to 64.

[@threeofeight197]

I’m checking so many boxes of the reasons women don’t have kids. I don’t have kids. I had to move far away from my family to find a job that made any kind of money. It took me decades to find a man worthy of procreating with and by that time I didn’t want to and he doesn’t either. He is more enthusiastic about it but there’s a world in which I would have been happy to create a family, it’s just not this world.

[@threeofeight197]

In a world where I could have gone to college and found a good job right away. Where there were lots of men with the same experience and we could meet and get married. Where we could find a house near my parents. Totally, would have had two kids. Maybe even three. It would have made my parents so much happier. 😢. But that’s not how our current economy works. There are only a few pathways to finding good work and it’s not easy. It takes many valuable years. I’m sorry but I wasn’t willing to bring a kid into the world without a committed father and a steady job with health insurance. I just won’t do it. So. Make if that what you will conservatives. I guess they would rather see me poor as dirt with kids raising themselves that create a world where women choose to be good mothers because the circumstances are right for it.

[@joeessig3550]

This is very sad to me. I get what you mean, but I'm still going to try I think. I think I'd regret it on my death bed otherwise.

[@Lilboozibert]

I wasn't concerned with cost or population when my 6 year old self decided to have no children. There are a lot of us unconditional childfree people out here.

[@antinatalistwitch111]

I was 22 when I realized that there is a very SICK, DIABOLICAL, EVIL and MANIPULATIVE game being played here on this earth, and I DENY all SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, and BIOLOGICAL needs to IMPOSE this existence on more humans onto this floating rock/prison/soul trap/loosh farm to be PLAYED with, PUNISHED or TESTED by any: 1. God's 2. Demons 3. Planets/astrology 4. Nature 5. Reincarnation 6. Energy extraction 7. Angels 8. Nature 9. Ancestors 10.Governments 11. Reptilians 12. Ghosts 13. Other humans 14. Law of attraction 15. MYSELF😊

[@middleagebrotips3454]

Because freedom, its nobody's business why humanity doesnt want more kids.

[@user-wi9hv2pb2q]

For me it's not a choice. i couldn't conceive because i didn't have healthcare and now I work 14 hrs a day on average, on the night shift, to not be homeless. It was never my choice, i wanted children. Mainly it was the financial constraints in my life followed by a lack of healthcare. It is Extremely insulting to say 'I said no.' This Wasn't My Choice. I'm sure most childless American women, especially White, are in my position. There is no support network and you are raised to hold a job, pay your debts, care for all elderly and infirm in your family, and be responsible. You and MAGA are completely missing the cause of dropping birth rates. It's economic followed by the healthcare system. That's why getting rid of abortion won't raise the birth rates in the American middle class. Women have children when they have resources and feel safe. Women don't feel economically secure and don't feel safe.

[@sarahhaley7458]

Yes! I’m glad to hear the biological reasons! Women aren’t safe in our society!! I don’t want to give anyone the life I lived- and I couldn’t even give a baby that much. They will be harassed, probably assaulted, and they will not control their own time - they’ll be tired, hungry, cold-hot, dirty, in pain- work like a mule for no understandable reward or even survivable existence ! hooray babies! Congratulations? I’ll feel better about parents when they publish the rest of the names on Epstein’s list. Until then- I’m not so sure it’s a safe environment for me- much less children

[@WillowT442]

I was very happy with motherhood. I was not happy being married.

[@smilodon87]

Same here. Had my husband been a decent loving supportive partner, I would have loved a second child.

[@zoemoody6903]

Fewer people on earth might not be such a bad idea--but you have to deal with the change as it occurs rather than complain about it

[@ma_junia]

Mandatory MAID for anyone over the age of 55 so they wont be a burden to the dwindling population 😃

[@kristannestone1748]

Why? 1) Check out flatlined wages over the last 40 years AND the tax code that inyres to the wealthiest people on EARTH (approx 1%) and the reat of us subsidize them 2) maternal mortality rates in america are higher than any other developed nation 3) healthcare costs AND ACCESS to health care suck for many of us 4) men have to step up, already. 5) this world is a MESS. Some people forgo having kids out of compassion for the children, because this world is so full of hatred, and danger.

[@antinatalistwitch111]

I realized very early on that there is a very SICK, DIABOLICAL, EVIL and MANIPULATIVE game being played here on this earth, and I DENY all SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, and BIOLOGICAL needs to IMPOSE this existence on more humans onto this floating rock/prison/soul trap/loosh farm to be PLAYED with, PUNISHED or TESTED by any: 1. God's 2. Demons 3. Planets/astrology 4. Nature 5. Reincarnation 6. Energy extraction 7. Angels 8. Nature 9. Ancestors 10.Governments 11. Reptilians 12. Ghosts 13. Other humans 14. Law of attraction 15. MYSELF😊

[@samnicolson1197]

I love my 3 kids who are now young adults. I can't imagine life without them. But it was hard work. And childcare, housing, food - all more expensive now. Those mothers who work full time with young kids are constantly over stretched. And I live in a country with universal healthcare

[@terrydillon9323]

There are too many people on the earth now. The earth only has so much to give.

[@baylienixon6919]

Because men still think they can buy a partnership. No Jason, you have to be LIKABLE and RELIABLE too.

[@amj.composer]

You're delusional, that's NOT why people aren't having kids 😂, most women find reliable men but still don't have children, stop projecting your own failures 😂

[@mellie4174]

I live in France and I can tell you that while we do have supportive policies for parents and workers it's not enough. If the government wants higher birth rates it has to be better. Example. Yup we have extended maternity leave.... At half pay! If you are a two income family and now you're on 1.5 of your typical salary, what do you do? Also they have paternity leave too, but it's the same problem and it can't be taken while the mom is on maternity leave. So who's caring for mom post natal period? I think they get like 2 weeks that they can take during mom's leave and that's all. Subsidized daycare exists but there's not enough to go around so most people aren't able to get a place in one and have to pay out of pocket. These are just a couple of reasons why the policies are just not enough to increase the birth rate.

[@JMLgymnut]

Why do you think you should get paid when you're not working? Be grateful you get anything at all just so you can feel fulfilled. Plenty of people would love paid time off to do what is meaningful to them,whether it's becoming a parent, or something else.

[@jacquelynn2051]

@@JMLgymnutOk goose ere goes gander…why do people think a woman haas to have children? This is part of the problem! Wanting new age babies with old age thinking. We are not on farms for the most part in more developed worlds.The cost of living especially if you have children and go for a cleaner safer neighborhood requires two incomes!

[@bloodbuddy7]

​@@JMLgymnut she LITERALLY just explained why, because if society WANTS people to have kids the labour of women in child birth and child rearing NEEDS TO BE PAID AND VALUED. You can't have it BOTH ways. You can't insist that women go through life threatening pregnancy and give up huge chunks of their lives and career to raise kids because otherwise society will have an issues, and then not compensate them fairly. This is what we're talking about when we speak on the objectification of women! Treating us like baby making machines when convenient and not recognising that we need actual practical support. The constant disrespect towards the labour of women is the CENTRAL issue in this whole problem!

[@---Dana----]

​@@bloodbuddy7 If you want to get paid to be a mother, then ask the father to pay you, no one else. Fine by me if you don't want kids, don't want to pay you to have them.

[@JMLgymnut]

@@jacquelynn2051 so plan your life! Armed with this knowledge, make sure you CYA before bringing a new human being into the world and don't expect others to do it FOR you. The world is not going to run out of people if you don't reproduce - there are plenty doing that already.

[@AtheistEve]

I can’t think of any valid reasons why I would not be vegan. And I can’t think of any valid reasons why I would have children. I might have fostered or adopted if I’d liked being with children. It definitely wasn’t an economic issue for me or my childfree siblings.

[@Ryanrobi]

Well for one new genetic line going on for hundreds of thousands of years will end with you 😂. I guess if you don't think about it it's perfectly fine and you'll be dead by then but that's kind of the most important thing if you actually think about it. I don't know whoever said life was supposed to be fun or without large challenges but that's actually the point of life..

[@jenniferesein4813]

​@@Ryanrobi Projection.

[@AtheistEve]

@@Ryanrobi We have fun. We have challenges, big and small just milling through the material universe. I don’t think anyone knows if there’s a “point” to, or of, life. At an individual scale, everyone will have their own answer to that. But, the larger picture? I imagine there’s a direction of travel along a trajectory, but being limited by no free will we don’t have any say in that trajectory direction or speed.

[@blazingstar9638]

I,I’m glad I never took any of that messaging seriously

[@audreydoyle5268]

I can think of one reason veganism is pointless. From an ethical standpoint. Nutrionally, it is sound with enough research. However, ethically it cannot be feasible unless you have enough capital to produce your own sustenance. The quintessential ethical tenant of veganism is to source food from places which do not include the suffering, unaliving or harvesting from the work or bodies of animals. Humans are animals, and most of our crops, the bread and rice baskets of the world are sown, tended to and harvested through human suffering. Humans have to suffer to grow crops en masse, whether that's mental or physical strain. Our global agriculture requires suffering for sustenance. Therefore, unless you own enough arable landspace and the assistance of more than happy farm hands to produce enough nutrients and calories for yourself, then your veganism is not ethical. Eat what you want, but you better not have a clean conscience if you don't grow all your own food with a delighted attitude. If animal suffering is what you aim to avoid, then include your own species, else you are a hypocrite.

[@dio69666]

Stop trying to force women to do free labor

[@angelahull9064]

Instead hire minorities and the poor to raise them for you!

[@joeessig3550]

I'm sorry you've had such bad examples of Love and family

[@ladyeowyn42]

Is Joe a dude? No wonder he doesn’t get it. And I am a mom.

[@joeessig3550]

@@ladyeowyn42 I don't claim to entirely "get it", but I do understand English, and most of the shit talked in this comment section is cope. Are you in a happy relationship with good family connections?

[@Commentator488]

@@joeessig3550 Even if they aren’t, that is good enough reason to not have children. In fact, everything is good enough reason because no one owes you a explanation what they want to do with their life, mind your own business

[@VvpandoravV]

Children are a burden, especially w most men not stepping up during fatherhood in America.

[@Sarah-re7cg]

All the reasons people are mentioning in the comment section + I just don’t want children. I will never understand why people force people who don’t want children to have children. Do children being wanted just not matter? Children are gifts, not a political pawn to reaffirm your own worldview. You have to be a literal psychopath to be trying to force people who don’t want children to have them.

[@lolakauffmann]

I think it's about control over women. Nobody cares one whit about other peoples' kids, and they'd gleefully let their kids compete against ours if we had any - but the idea that women can choose to be free persons instead of wives and mothers and loving caregivers revolving around other people is threatening to them. Some men talk about their moms like they were voluntary slaves to them when they were kids. Not finding a wife willing to give up their freedom to live for them & their kids gives them an existential crisis as they can't conceive of female humans as independent persons instead of a potential spouse. In reality there were always lots of unmarried & childfree women & a ton of old bachelors, and the world throve just fine, but that gets conveniently forgotten.

[@Sarah-re7cg]

@@lolakauffmann 10/10 agree with everything you’ve written. It’s this extremely disgusting and cynical way of utilizing the physical, emotional and psychological burdens associated with carrying and raising children that are used as a kugel to hit women with. They don’t see children as human beings. They see children as a means to “keep women in their place.” It’s psychopathic.

[@atropabelladonna]

@@lolakauffmann This. Conservatives always push women to have kids and then proceed to make the whole process dangerous and miserable.

[@antinatalistwitch111]

​@@lolakauffmannyup. 💯💯💯 how dare we exercise our freedom in a so called free country that claims some creator gave us free will as well. How dare we use it!!!

[@bluetickbeagles116]

Never wanted kids, don’t want kids and don’t regret not having them. It’s baffling how much society emphasizes how having kids is the ultimate fulfillment. Stupid! 🧐🧐🤡

[@dava00007]

I'm in Quebec, Canada... We have had both the best and cheapest day care system since the 90s, free healthcare, parental leave and all the other services. Yet, our natality rate has been lower than other provinces which had much less generous, and more conservative populations (comparatively speaking). So, I'm not so sure about her policy prescription as a solution to fertility rates, but day care does make life easier.

[@mistressofstones]

I probably would have had kids if my partners wanted one. I wasnt really that keen but I wasnt against it. As it is, I'm happy. I never really had a burning desire, and parenthood is so hard in the 21st century I think.

[@VixxKong2]

Only have kids if YOU want to. The amount of sacrifice that you'll have to do physical, psychologically, financially, etc. is going to drive you nuts if you just had kids for others. Especially if you end up breaking up with your partner and now you're a single mom

[@joeessig3550]

@@VixxKong2people talk about all the downsides, but for many parents, kids are the most meaningful joy in their life. It’s good to have a lot of responsibility, it’s good to care for and raise the next generation. We’ve got it so twisted that people think they are successful by not having kids.

[@VixxKong2]

@joeessig3550 These parents are usually the ones who wanted a child. Not the ones who just go along with the flow

[@joeessig3550]

@@VixxKong2 There are so many less unplanned pregnancies carried to term now, than there ever were before in history.

[@joeessig3550]

@@VixxKong2 Also, like, there are downsides to having purely recreational, "no consequence" sex. Promiscuous dating app cultures have generally been a disaster. Women are often the predatory ego strokers that they pretend only men are.

[@ladyeowyn42]

As a one child mom, I also said no to kids, plural. OAD FTW

[@blazingstar9638]

Cause they can’t afford it

[@lepapercastle]

I mean, some of us just want to enjoy life. No, we can't afford it, but the burden of children is just that... a burden. Compared to many, my life isn't really that hard. But I've had problems and difficulties no one could've prepared me for, and they've stacked up for over 30 years to make a traumatized person. I truly wish I were never born at all. Not just because of my own problems, but seeing and knowing others suffer worse, and there isn't a thing I can do about it. At best, life is bittersweet. So, introducing another fresh batch of innocent people into the cruelty of the world is a pretty selfish act.

[@karakim9213]

I was a tiny child and saw jonbenet Ramseys parents crying on TV and knew that I never wanted to have a child in a world that takes them from you one way or another. Society, cruelty from peers, sickness, random acts of unexplainable violence.. so many ways to break someone if they have a child. I'm sure to love something so deeply their loss would break you forever is a beautiful experience only parents know to that depth of a parent and their child ... but I don't want that. 😢 the worry and stress would rip me to peices

[@antinatalistwitch111]

I realized very early on that there is a very SICK, DIABOLICAL, EVIL and MANIPULATIVE game being played here on this earth, and I DENY all SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, and BIOLOGICAL needs to IMPOSE this existence on more humans onto this floating rock/prison/soul trap/loosh farm to be PLAYED with, PUNISHED or TESTED by any: 1. God's 2. Demons 3. Planets/astrology 4. Nature 5. Reincarnation 6. Energy extraction 7. Angels 8. Nature 9. Ancestors 10.Governments 11. Reptilians 12. Ghosts 13. Other humans 14. Law of attraction 15. MYSELF😊

[@jennifermeans95]

Even with supportive policies in place, there are still men and women who desire to be child-free without regret. It's a choice that should be respected.

[@hayaq9991]

No family, community and childcare is more expensive than college… but the fact she keep putting emphasis on “white women”

[@user-wi9hv2pb2q]

That is the group with dropping birth rates in the USA. If nothing changes Black, Asian and Latino Americans will be in the same position in a few generations. It's not about race It's about American society, there are statistically very few White Immigrants and they don't come in cultural groups. Over time more recent immigrant groups will suffer the same fate. It's about looking at the target, the 'best' treatment and this is all you get. Looking at White Americans is looking at the ethnic group with the Most resources in our society. You also see dropping birth rates in the Black middle class. She points out East Asia has a similar problem, clearly with Asians. It's society, not the individuals.

[@curiouspenguin6887]

Considering they'll be denied medical care if they have a non viable pregnancy or other complications... what do you expect?

[@derek4412]

@30:20 This academic is getting her facts wrong. She keeps bringing up the great benefits for working mothers in the Scandinavian countries as an argument for them here, but Finland‘s TFR is 1.3. Sweden’s is 1.45. She keeps mentioning France, but France has had their TFR drop to 1.68 this year compared to the United States’ 1.62. None of these examples support her hypothesis. How is this kind of academic work allowed to be made public at a place like the University of Chicago?

[@c.f.okonta8815]

She needed to be fact checked by the interviewer

[@teoleno4019]

As a Finnish women I will tell you this, we are not going anywhere. Get used to it and stfu!

[@c.f.okonta8815]

@@teoleno4019people only have 1 kid and sometimes they might have 2 in Finland

[@joeessig3550]

Agreed, she’s a basic ass analyst. Worse than local NPR station

[@atropabelladonna]

maybe she's looking at previous years?

[@dongtan_bulgom]

Ok so you guys are obviously new to this, so let me explain. Fertility rate is inversely correlated to women’s power relative to men. This is the only metric that matters throughout history and culture. The more the women are empowered relative to men, the less likely they’ll find a mate who will satisfy them enough that they decide to make babies. Women by nature do not wish to bear children when they’re paired with men of less or equal value, because pregnancy is a big risk and cost.

[@Devi-pg4rj]

Men should strive to improve their value.

[@UChicago]

00:00 Introduction: Declining Fertility Rates in the U.S. 01:27 Historical Context: Fertility Control Through the Ages 03:51 Childfree Societal Pressures and Political Rhetoric 08:35 Economic Factors and Family Structures 10:42 The Role of Policy in Family Planning 18:26 Modern Work and Motherhood 26:19 Conclusion: Future of Fertility and Family Policies

[@vmvd]

Pregnancy is disgusting and unpaid labor is disgusting too

[@user-wi9hv2pb2q]

Most women i know, including myself, were fired after we got married. This goes on today. It's Nothing about 'protecting mothers' the idea is 'your husband will take care of you."

[@Gettothegone]

Late stage capitalism. A Marxist analysis of many issues today are spot on

[@angelahull9064]

You haven't paid attention to what Marx actually has to say about mothers...it makes Ayn Rand look cuddly. He only cares about unpaid labor as a sign of unproductivity and not contributing to the State that taxes them. Women are expected to work, childless or not.

[@mcawesomest1]

And they are also the most depressed and anxious with the lowest life satisfaction since before WW2…. So whatever happened has made women very sad

[@lepapercastle]

Men make women sad.

[@Kwk16534]

Also our life expectancy has been falling for the past decade because of the lack of health coverage

[@mcawesomest1]

@@lepapercastle no one has that kind of power over me. I’m in charge of me, my choices, my feelings, my accountability and action. No one has the power to make me happy or sad.

[@lepapercastle]

@@mcawesomest1 Have kids?

[@mcawesomest1]

@@Kwk16534 our health is failing because of the crap that’s in our food and the poisons in our water and land. In the 80s the big tobacco companies were sued and held accountable for lying to the public for over 35 years about the cancer, COPD, and arterial problems caused by cigarettes. They paid off the top scientists from major universities to say cigarettes don’t cause cancer. It wasn’t until everyone had a friend or family member with COPD or lung cancer that people started questioning “the science.” Cigarette sales fell with no more smoking on planes, restaurants or in hotels. So the big tobacco companies bought a few really major food companies- Kraft, Nabisco, and General Mills. They brought over the scientists that made the cigs more addictive and they implemented those addictive additives in the food.

[@jmac5951]

Because it reduces autonomy and that can wreck an entire life.

[@raspberrymediapost8186]

Read some of the comments. Will repeat some that resonated with me the most. I personally don’t believe in the economic explaination so much because 1)we live in the 1st world countries 2) people throughout centuries lived in extreme poverties and still had many children. Many are poor or average today and still have children. I think the poorer the society / people are, the more willing they are to have children and the more of them they have. People have children at wars and in totalitarian states. It’s paradoxical but I see it this way. Can’t imagine someone really wanting children but not being able to afford them and thus opting out. It doesn’t happen.. What happens is for most people having children is more existential of a decision rather than financial. People want to have experiences , to accomplish something , to have a meaning of life, they may value family and relationships a lot… People that don’t have children these days are the ones that 1) have access to birth control 2) have had a bad relationships in their parental families, thus struggle to form relationships in adult life, and thus don’t see it as a value, but rather as a burden 3) also, women don’t want to do 2 full time jobs, one is enough. Choosing between a career and motherhood is like choosing between dry crap and fresh one. It’s crap any way but at least you chose one instead of both. Being a woman is hard. The relationships with men usually don’t work out because men often don’t get it to help, and a lot of times you’d hear that men don’t want / need a relationship. Men don’t want relationships, women don’t want children. There’s no fabric of the society. We’re just on our own, there’s no room for anyone else but us

[@spaceballs44]

Well cost of living is expensive and rent goes up, food, gas, utilities, college debt etc. So I can see why birth rates are going down.

[@DakotaFord592]

Too expensive lol.

[@07Janina07]

If people wanted to have kids, they would make it work somehow. Some women simply dont want to be mothers, and this is okay. You should only have children if you want them.

[@derek4412]

Most young people do whatever their parents tell them, and millennials (men and women) were pretty much all raised to not focus on having children or getting married. We were all taught to focus on careers and making an income. I’m sure the Baby Boomers who raised us thought this was a good thing to do, because marriage and families “happened naturally” (so they thought), whereas they thought they needed to actively encourage their daughters to “make something of themselves“.

[@ss-ds2dn]

You started off so well then devolved into condescension. Sad.

[@derek4412]

@@ss-ds2dn I think the sad part is telling daughters that a career is more important than becoming a wife and mother. But that’s just my opinion.

[@ss-ds2dn]

@@derek4412 men getting to be known for their accomplishments while also getting the benefits of a family (largely because of the wife's efforts) while women are pressured to choose is way sadder. Being a wife and mother is such a huge risk to multiple aspects of your life with no compensation. Society needs to learn to work with women better than to say "you all have to do the same SAHM job regardless of individual aspirations and abilities" We're not machines just because we're burdened with the bulk of reproduction (which we're supposed to provide for free wtf). Men need to step up and take on more of the domestic/childrearing load so women can have more balance.

[@derek4412]

@@ss-ds2dn you make a lot of good points, and there’s a lot to consider, but I’ll comment on one point regarding the man’s dilemma when it comes to raising kids: Women can only make as many kids as their body allows. Men can make as many kids as they can convince women to care for. Some men are high-investment strategists (like me…I’m married with three young kids). These men are largely religious and give up career goals and wealth to be present to their wives and kids. Other men are low-investment strategists. They think working on relationships are difficult or boring. They seek to create children with women who don’t mind if they’re not around much. Interestingly enough, these men are either low-status (including in-and-out of jail), or extremely high status with multiple wives and frequent divorces (think executives, politicians, and some academics). Both of these strategies are available to men. Women only have one strategy, which is the high-investment strategy. If a woman wants to secure a “good” man she either needs to decide if she wants the man with talent/resources but little in-home effort, or a man (sort of like me, I guess) who is lower-to-middle income, but with lots of time to devote to her and the children. I literally know of no other way to do it. If I had pursued a high-paying job I would not have been able to find my wife. Dating takes time and women today aren’t exactly cooking much for these dates. They’re busy too, and until they find a man worth settling down with, they won’t give up more income opportunities to get to know some random man. So you see the dilemma exists for men and women. If a man works a lot he’ll have money which is attractive to women, but if he works less he’ll be more available which some women value more than money. I’m used to these trade-offs. I was a stay-at-home dad for two years. My wife is now full-time SAHM. Two of my friends are currently stay-at-home dads. The dilemma for men like us is most women aren’t happy being a breadwinner so a working woman frequently desires a working man, but working men don’t desire a working woman. Life is tough. We all have choices to make. Are you the kind of woman who would value more time but less income from a man? If so, are you willing to date/marry a man with significantly less income?

[@teoleno4019]

@derek4412 You should focus on sons, because if things continue the way they are, none of them will ever get married or reprocreate.

[@cutcut1980]

This sounds like NPR.

[@yveje9720]

Abortion was not illegal in the US in the 1920s the laws varied across states much like today. Many states allowed abortion before “quickening” and for medical reasons. Some states banned it with exceptions for medical necessity like Texas

[@Kwk16534]

Those exceptions mean nothing when it's a 6-week ban the politicians purposely write the exceptions so that no one can use them try proving you're a victim of incest as a 12:13 year old who's become pregnant

[@ВікторіяДоскочинська]

Don't worry. India is ahead of everybody. Humankind will not die

[@antinatalistwitch111]

😂😂😂

[@saisameer8771]

Fun fact: even India is at the beginning of a population decline.

[@Joe-im6ud]

First we have to ask "What is a woman "?

[@lordnokia4222]

Boooo get off the stage 🤡 🤡 🤡

[@sugarbear88]

Thanks for this fantastic episode! Really looking forward to more big brains!

[@Ryanrobi]

My beft friend growing up has 4 kids and a stay at home wife, he live in Massachusetts and works construction making $75k if he can easily support 5 people money is not the reason why people don't have kids it's what people prioritize and the point of life isn't to feel the most pleasure each moment...

[@derek4412]

This is right. People should just be honest and say “I enjoy traveling and watching Netflix too much”. A perceived loss of freedom is probably a much bigger driver of marriage decline and fertility decline than income.

[@cristofjulun1265]

I make 75K and I’m barely making it. I have no children and no spouse. I’m not sure how your friend is making it, I’m not living extravagantly. Just an apartment and a car. That’s it. I think your friend is an exception and not a rule.

[@derek4412]

@@cristofjulun1265 Could you make 75k and live with your parents or roommates for 2-3 years? I think that difference in housing expenditure would be enough to get a down payment on a condo or house. If you are renting in a high cost-of-living area I could see maybe 40 percent of your income going towards housing, which would really be enough to stop you from leveling up enough financially to get married and have kids.

[@cristofjulun1265]

@@derek4412 you’re kidding, right? Your solution to the high cost of living is to lower my living standards. Why live with my parents?!? Why not just get a cardboard box and live in that. Why bother with brushing my teeth. Think of how much money I could save if I didn’t use toothpaste. How about foregoing electricity? I could just be without lighting and save money that way too. Are you really offering a valid solution or are you just trying to perpetuate an economic system that overburdens the planets capacity to support life? And even if I did find a way to eek out a living with just 75K, having kids sucks. What’s the big deal about that anyway. And why force a person to live on this planet that never asked to be here? That seems way more cruel than not having kids and letting the population collapse with all the chaos that will bring. Unless one is Uber-wealthy and Uber-egotistical,(really, does the earth really need another one of me or you or anyone else around) the juice is not worth the squeeze in having kids.

[@cristofjulun1265]

@accidentalchrist that’s like saying if someone found themselves lost in the desert that they have to learn how to live with less water. There is a natural limit of living like a decent human being. And in an OCD country like the US that requires on average a lot more money than what is made on average. To rub insult into that wound, the income distribution in the country is out of calibration. So the idea of « climbing to the ideal » is not easily available to a vast majority of people. There are only so many resources to go around, the planet is finite (you do understand the planet is finite, yes?) and so if all the good land and good water and healthy resources are already taken how is someone supposed to climb to the « ideal »? Through violence or some other quasi-illegal activity? But I’m not resentful, I practice gratitude daily. One of the things that I am grateful for is the ability to weight the pros and cons of doing something like having kids and then making a complete decision based on my own metrics and not the pressure of an outsider who really only wants more customers or more wage slaves or more cannon fodder for their wars. No thanks.

[@JanetLClark]

It is said: "Originally I wanted to have children, but then I discovered that cat food is cheaper than college." I laughed when I bought that fridge magnet. I was never going to be that woman, but I did get my university degrees anyway, along with my cats.

[@piernikowyloodek]

Not a word about fathers and how they could help lessen the burden and make the prospect of parenthood less daunting and how we could create policies to support fathers so they can partake in and enjoy parenthood which they often say is so important to them

[@dantesinfernopurgatory7826]

>Why Are More Women Saying No To Having Kids? Answer: Blame men. (the default playbook)

[@lordnokia4222]

"Waahh women are blaming men for being treated like abysmal dogshit, waaaahh 😢😢" You poor babyhyy 🥺

[@helenhawkins2107]

Apparently The Selfish Gene is no longer selfish.

[@blammela]

Bcz it’s mostly miserable and draining and we don’t live in a society that supports being a parent.

[@maryadams-vs1zk]

Because they dont want to die from a bad pregnancy and in 2024 it is to expensive to have kids, when you work 3 jobs and have to live in your car because houses are only for the ruch now

[@scottwinterroth]

Very interesting podcast episode. Well-structured look into this topic, and it may even be reassuring that fertility decline is not a new phenomenon.

[@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010]

i love kids so much i work with them. but im not having any. being adopted, ive always been really afraid of bringing a child into this world when so many people like me were given up. and no, it doesnt make me want to adopt either. i dont advocate for either. in fact, being adopted has given me a perspective of the opposite. children do need to be with their birth families, and those families need to be supported. if theyre being given up, ask yourself why? its not just poverty or work culture either. its something fundamental to the times we're living in. i am not raising a child because i know im a product of a messed up world. i have unaddressed trauma, i have mental health worries. why would i soil a childs innocence with all of that? people call me selfish for not wanting to raise a child but to me its far more selfish to subject them to the projections of all my problems. becoming an adult in this age means recognizing that no one is truly there for you because everyone is already drowning. adults are cruel. we are letting children die needlessly every single second, whether its in another country, whether its in the foster care system, whether its in schools, doesnt matter. no one gives af about kids in this world. im not gonna contribute to that. i will help support kids in ways that i can instead. its far easier to do so in a controlled environment with other people who care about kids, and its easier to control projections because of the need to maintain professionalism. and after i help them, i can go home and relax my mind. i cant do that if i myself am raising them.

[@sillygo0oser]

The university of chicago put out a video like this which is really funny when you consider how expensive it is to go to college, let alone UIC and they can’t fathom why people don’t want kids in this economy haha

[@andreasmith3638]

Not fertility rates Birth rates… Fertility suggests their is an issue with conceiving

[@piernikowyloodek]

Great note about the nuclears family isolating effect on what raising children is like. This resonates strongly with me - I dont have anyone at all around me who would help, even in case of an emergency.

[@shanchan8247]

Stress and finances. Is it really a surprise when the economy is bad and the job/housing market is unstable that people don't want kids? Women need peace and safety to even consider children.

[@margaretjohnson6259]

harris is a stepMOTHER. buttigieg is a father.

[@mugglescakesniffer3943]

People don't have the money to have kids. We had 4 and had to eventually go on food stamps and WIC. My kids grew up with us being dirt poor. That affects them and is a huge deterrent for having kids. If my kids never have kids I am OK with that.

[@pastelmoon9118]

1. realised the worst choice woman can make in life is to have kids.. having kids will put you in vulnerable situation for abuse also more financial burden. Also your life will be in pause for the next 18 or even 30 years if economy is so shitty that your adult child is unable to move to his/her own apartment and buy their own house. you can avoid the worst just simply... dont marry and dont have kids.. 2. understood that marriage and having babies is literally designed to benefit everyone else than the wife. Men constantly seek someone to take care of him but men are unwilling to take care of someone.. just come on look! how many you see to care old people? who actually does all the caring jobs? cook, clean, care of eldery?... WOMEN and DAUGHTERS... rarely men. There is a reason why so many older women dont want to have partner and live on their own.. for THIS reason. observe and ask eldery women why they are alone.. been doing that a lot :) 3. I personally saw my mom`s life being destroyed by marriage.. mentally, physically .. single motherhood dont look fun no thank you!

[@SophiaCleo178]

I wouldn't say I don't want kids, but I certainly do not want them just because. The situation has to be right (e.g. right partner, finances, emotional well being etc) and if that situation never comes, I'm okay with that. I think this is a lot of women too.

[@karenabrams8986]

Nothing about how high conflict divorces might be influencing these decisions. Having a baby with another person makes you vulnerable to becoming a slave to the other parent if they are willing to use our weaponized family court system to do that, and many are. If you’re going to do it, get a prenup. Figure out what a fair dissolution looks like while you still love each other. And avoid getting baby trapped. Being relegated to someone’s revenue stream is a miserable situation.

[@jayfromct5164]

So thankful for my daughter 🙏🏾 God bless