Why Are Narcissists So Cold Hearted?

If you are one who prioritizes engaging, safe communication, you can be thrown off guard by a narcissist's cold hearted mannerisms. At the base of their interactions is an "I don't care" attitude, and as Dr. Les Carter explains, it often has roots in passive aggressive anger.
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[@realhealing7802]

They made a choice to be mean and cold. I have made the choice to leave them alone. Love doesn't exist in a narcissistic relationship.

[@alysiahite7086]

I also made the choice to stay away from toxic cold people.

[@violajoseph8549]

💯 they know what they are doing. They know how to turn it off and on, when and when not to be nice. Periodt

[@jodizellmer994]

@@violajoseph8549 Yes, they sure do!

[@tearthangel373]

The Gaslighting and pathological lying was the worst part of his abuse. He said sorry. Words and actions did not match. He never raged but was very vindictive

[@tearthangel373]

My Therapist told me it’s safer to go No Contact

[@cynthiafortier2540]

When you really see who they are it chills you to the bone. Sadly even family.....

[@morebirdsandroses]

It is chilling. Also sickening. What a terrible heritage!

[@maryanngarcia3080]

sickening is an understatement

[@daynapeterson9033]

Yes and when its family, its the shock of your life.

[@margierayes2890]

@@daynapeterson9033 Especially when it's your mother...

[@jonellis6235]

Shockingly family.

[@aaronkwolfe]

A cold heart is a symptom of the decision to do whatever they want/whatever it takes, no matter the fallout or consequences. They are goal driven, where the goal is always their own benefit. So their target is the one to bear the fallout/consequences. And they are okay with that.

[@deborahrichardson3731]

Yes, no matter who it is. Their spouse, kids, parents , friends , doesn't matter. All about themselves.

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

👍👍

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Absolutely 💯

[@nancytwigg4631]

So true, Aaron! Thanks for your witness. My covert said, "Never worry about me, I do what I want," and he did and does and will always, A soul crusher, regardless of who he throws under the bus. He just does not care!

[@wordswordswords8203]

Very well put.

[@colleenshea2293]

They are cold hearted because - at the root - they are full of contempt and jealousy - especially for a few targeted people.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Yes, hateful scowling comments, harsh looks, accusatory tone and oppositional behaviour whilst manipulating a whining answer as though you've been hurtful to them - when you are making conversation with a smile, often with NO witnesses! E.G. Narc induced conversation "where did you holiday, who with, how much, it rained are you sure you went?" "Yeah. Pity about the rain on holiday" Narc "no you're out of order you've got to remember [name] that people in the world depend on rain. I've had rain on holiday too and much worse than you but I did not complain like you are, what are you trying to say?! Are you trying to say I've not been through that, because I have let me tell you!"🫠🫣🤐😰

[@jodizellmer994]

It's sick when it's their kids who are their targets.

[@lesleywilliams3371]

Its sick when its your sister and u have no clue why she is like that

[@suzanne4396]

Cold because even though he wants physical ____, he knows what I crave most is affection and warmth; emotional connection. He doles it out in small doses. So, I have become just as cold and dismissive, towards him; even if I'm dying inside. Self- preservation.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

This reminds me of Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted" song, to a T!

[@2009jadeorchid]

they are really mean when they realize you cannot be controlled by them anymore when you stand up for yourself in what ever situation they hate it when you can finally see their real personality the fake nice to get what they want was never real

[@sanjmalik6282]

Absolutely 💯 true

[@sarahh4394]

Eventually the true self comes out. Mine became very comfortable with who he really is. I guess he thought I accepted the bad behavior because I got tired of calling him out and dealing with the shit show that would follow. He would say things like.."I really don't feel empathy" or "You need to go to the doctor and get better so you can take care of me." He was showing me who he truly is but I was so deep in denial. 😕

[@Miester7]

I really want to believe them being nice was fake. It seemed so real. Such disillusionment they cause

[@joywebster2678]

2 yrs post split, we agreed I would take over paying for a phone ( voip) subscription may 15th 2023 when renewal was up. Last week my phone cut off, including 911 and I'm disabled, and he canceled it 2 weeks before the switch so I lose my 10yr phone number etc. So they remind me of alligators/crocs laying in the mud or water looking calm and menacing. But they will rise up and act to harm when they calculate it will hurt most.

[@cassiebrown9786]

They literally HATE when they can no longer control you. You take away their supply and that's the air they breathe. I hope my narcissistic neighbor has to be on oxygen one day, because I took away her control and her reason for living. Not cruel to feel that way.

[@MelodyT78]

Pure evil. The things they are capable of doing I couldn't do to my worst enemy. They have dark souls

[@TildaTsunagari]

Yes, exactly how I feel. It’s just so hard to comprehend when we wouldn’t treat even an enemy like this.

[@whiteraven69]

Black hearted.

[@RoseLacyLilly]

Soul Crushers💯

[@laurajunebaran8898]

I recently sprained my ankle and I really saw how cold hearted my narcissistic husband is by him acting like I just ruined his day. We were at a trampoline park with our kids and in laws and I honestly never felt so alone with so many people around. I had to call my mom and also my best friend, I needed to have support from the people i know care. It was an awful experience 😢

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

So sorry for your physical and Emotional pain 🙏

[@laurajunebaran8898]

Thank you, your comment means alot!💕

[@sarahh4394]

That's just wrong, he should show concern that you were hurt. So sorry that happened to you 😞

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

Look for an Attorney, it Will Only get worse Not Better and your children will grow up and see what example they had to look Up To. Either it will be a Strong mom standing up for kindness,caring and long suffering or why bother to try, why bother being kind, look what happened to my mom!

[@ceilconstante640]

I am so deeply sorry and understand! I agree with the comment recommending to see an attorney. Just do a free no obligation consultation. God forbid should you have more serious health issues down the road. Sometimes women stay for financial reasons or for their children but Narcs can poison your children and leave you penniless just for spite. I developed multiple autoimmune conditions and severe adrneal fatigue. I'm grateful to have peace and very little contact.

[@dinky-diridgy-didge636]

They poison every relationship that's for sure

[@bodaciousbethany0]

Their own, & they meddle in other's.

[@RepentTimeIsAtHand]

I will fight this on knees before the Heavenly Father.

[@RepentTimeIsAtHand]

@@unityandloveforall Deeply grateful for your reply.❤️ Blessed by the word you have sent me.🕊️ Powerful message. As for fighting I know we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against power and principalities. So it is I kneel and pray for those who chose to serve satan. I pray they come to repentance. May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you 🙏

[@MeanRubyJean]

I am so miserable because of my husband.

[@unityandloveforall]

@Latosha Warner that's so sad to hear do you have anyone you truly trust to talk to What type of narcissist is he ❤️

[@amandaliverpool3374]

It's amazing how their hearts are so cold as their blood is always boiling!

[@tbunnyshy1]

Well said! 💯💥

[@nancytwigg4631]

😂 Hysterical, Amanda! In their case, " warm hands, cold hearts!"

[@rehvex]

Thier love is less dense so it boils at a lower temperature...

[@shaafalyemen]

Words of wisdom 😂

[@jerseygirl4623]

😂😂😂😂 so true

[@shiny7301]

Yes they are cold hearted because they have no empathy, no affection to the others including their spouses&children. They see themselves as the center of the world as a result of their arrogance. Thank you Dr. Carter for your precious efforts ❤

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

My NM told me "You don't please God, YOU please ME!"

[@l.5832]

My 97 year old narc mother was in hospital and was too weak even to sit up. Even then she never recognized her own mortality and she talked about coming home and kicking my sister (who had been her care giver) out of the house. It didn't enter her mind how a woman almost 100 years old who was too weak to sit up would look after herself. She say herself as immortal, forever young, forever strong.....Such arrogance.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

They are insecure, immature, lonely and protect themselves and don't care about anyone else. Sad!

[@Lemana28021989]

Because they don't care about who is going down as long as it serves them. It allows them to feel supperior. Also, they live like "when I don't feel good, you shouldn't either"

[@Christrulesall2]

They're not even worthy of being identified as a person being "cold hearted" when they literally dont have a heart.

[@eugenemurray2940]

They are not cold hearted... They are no hearted!

[@donnas.1576]

Now ruminating after ending a 35 year marriage, I remember things he said to me which I now realize how cold hearted he was and that he did not care about me. After a hard day of work or wanting to discuss a good day, he would cut me off and tell me to leave work at work. His dismissive attitude towards me in now so clear. In the end, he presented a level of contempt towards me that I never experienced before. It was shocking and hurtful and it's difficult to shake the words and actions of the stranger that was standing in front of me. But, maybe he was there all along and I refused to see it.

[@trying2survive602]

I am with you. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Some days I can't believe what I have put up with.

[@Cathyat40]

@@trying2survive602 Same. When I watch KZbin videos about narcissism, so many memories come back and I realize that my ex was really sick.

[@donnas.1576]

@@trying2survive602 I wouldn't put up with this treatment from a good friend. Why did we put up with it all of these years?

[@trying2survive602]

@@donnas.1576 Good question. I have been wondering about the same thing.

[@barbaragraham-siegenthaler]

This is just my experience. At the 33rd wedding anniversary he basically discarded me. He insisted he had only two friends, one his new woman friend. He accused me of putting him in a cage and wanting to still her away from him. He got so upset. To me he felt like another person, extremely cold hearted. A couple of months later when I referred to this event he denied having ever said anything alike. By that time I had learned all about covert narcisissm, so I new about gazlighting. Now we are separated hopefully starting divorce proceedings soon😢

[@gregh2322]

It's a fool's errand if you're trying to get love from a narcissist. They just aren't wired that way and never will be.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I'm no-contact with my narcissistic dad, for my own well-being. He "doesn't give a shit" about my feelings. His words. He's patthetic. Yes, he expects loyalty, obedience and for me to lie(I won't) to others so he looks good to his flying monkeys/enablers/strangers. He doesn't give a damn about my life, I can't be bothered with his sorry attitude/behavior! He is very critical of me; I gave up on him as of the day before Easter(another unpleasant conversation, where he told me he was busy and visiting others, My mom did not raise a fool; I see through Dad's nonsense. He doesn't get that. Too bad for him. I won't chase him around, he's not worth the effort. He expects loyalty but demonstrates none. His way or the highway, I got off the first exit(no-contact) and have not had to deal with his narcissism. A victory for me! (since Easter!)

[@anns9688]

A narcissist doesn't like to share their information but, they want to know everything about others. Even the flying monkeys will doubt them without information.

[@ebony41441]

These people are forever broken so love yourself enough to send these dark souls packing. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Run and run fast!

[@sahdogwrangler5594]

You described my partner to a tee, yet they can cry at a sad movie. That surprises me when they don't care about how much pain I'm in but care about strangers & fictional characters. It's difficult to not take it personally when the cold heartedness seems like it's only directed at me.

[@Minga-pi3fo]

Can't fix hate on a fictional character.

[@bbdass4598]

Omg this was my ex

[@babi9784]

I feel exactly the same thing, please tell me that I am not crazy

[@Miester7]

Probably because it relates to them in some way. Also they have empathy for animals which is weird but not humanity.

[@roxyabrooks864]

They can cry at sad movies because they see only reflections of themselves in everything, but in the most unhealthy way.

[@ChildoftheLIGHT]

Cold hearted is true. Cruel is truer.

[@vanillakiss8701]

I was crying and my ex said,, are you a child or what" Run run run

[@Understatedalways]

The narcissist has no conscience and doesn't care. They feel good if they can mistreat you and get away with it. Often, they make sure that no witnesses are around so that whatever hateful things they say or do to you is your word against theirs. This was the interim manager at my former job. I'm out of a job, but she continues on thinking she's all that. She lied and spent much time typing up false accusations of work ethics toward my employee file. One other thing, she dresses and looks like a little girl, though she is middle-aged at 40 years. The good thing is that she didn't get the big Director job that she tried out for, after all.

[@colleenshea2293]

Many a devious employee has ruined another's workplace experience, their job, reputation, or even their life. Management has most often been ill equipped to recognize these employees or what they do to others! In my experience there is more then one in every work environment.

[@catherinewilson1079]

Oh yes! No witnesses! They make sure of that!

[@francesbernard2445]

Believe it or not people in North America from families who have lived here already for a long time after descending from only a few earliest European settlers who were successful are when poor today only because we are young are just as easier targets for all of the narcissist to use as an excuse no matter what our skin color is while they are getting away with something undetected only because often there is always going to be others around who look like us including them up to no good which makes it harder for security personnel including the DNA evidence people too when later looking at security camera footage in public places to figure out whom they should be looking to arrest. Most of all if we have an identical twin whom we got separated from at birth. So that is why we have learned to welcome immigration while hoping that means some day not too many lookalikes that the experts could confuse us with.

[@ozzyhouston2535]

​​@@colleenshea2293 I was told sociologists or psychologists have studied these types. They suck up to supervisors and paint a bad picture of you. Factory settings. Cubicle worlds.

[@colleenshea2293]

@@ozzyhouston2535 They thrive in organized structures. I saw them everywhere in education / university settings in my personal experience.

[@simaddiction]

Because they only surround themselves with people who can and will do for them. Once you stop doing for them the jig is up and the illusion of caring is lifted at which time they are exposed for who they have always been. My soon to be ex wife to a tee.

[@alexahoule5501]

This is my mother to a T.

[@simaddiction]

To my experience, I stopped doing for her when I had given up everything I had for her and found that nothing but full on servitude was going to suffice for her while her adult kid who stood to get everything if something happened to her just stayed up in the attic doing his own thing. It was when I started questioning everything and she would go Uber defensive that I realized that I meant nothing to her outside of what I would do FOR her.

[@roxyabrooks864]

Narcissists literally cannot see anything outside of themselves. Its like observing a baby in an adult body, with adult cravings and wants. Creepy and unsettling.

[@karriphillips5090]

Absolutely 👍 💯

[@TildaTsunagari]

Yes!!

[@fightthegoodfightoffaithmi8676]

Proverbs 11:9 An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered. Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Amen. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, departing from evil is understanding (Job). Only prayers deliver us but we feel the wrath before we begin to cry out to God 😞🔥🙌 come Lord Jesus

[@alastairwest5200]

They are cold hearted because they are completely disconnected from their own emotions, which means in turn that your feelings don't even register. They can't do feelings, only anger...

[@Ma-Says]

I was absolutely stunned when my narc spouse shouted "I don't care!" in my face during an argument about how they were mistreating our child. It is heartbreaking but also profoundly relieving to know that it's not me, it's all them. They are the ones who don't care, who aren't normal, who are cruel.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

the moment when we wake up to the writing on the wall

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My narc dad said "tough shit" when I complained how he mistreats me. I no longer deal with that jerk!

[@theforensicbadass]

Doctor Carter, it's quite interesting when a contemptuous narcissistic individual violate your boundaries in a pattern repeatedly, and we decide to go no contact, they accuse us of the very same thing. They will call us cold-hearted and uncaring. It baffles me sometimes to know that they accuse us of the very same thing that they themselves are doing.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

It’s classic projection. They can be quite predictable.

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

Sometimes I think if those people would be put in a 4 sided mirror, they still would not see themselves. 🦊

[@Corinna_Schuett_GER]

Yes they will always do that. To my narcissistic mother, I will always be ungrateful, jealous and greedy. Whereas I am in fact everything else than a materialist, I don't care about wealth at all. Jesus Christ saved me in 2005 so I have also the "religious mentally ill" label being put on me. 👍👍😆

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

When you go "NO CONTACT" then the "SMEAR CAMPAIGN" begins.......it's who they are....DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA filled 24/7...they FEED off DRAMA....STARVE THEM WITH NONE!!!

[@gwendolynsmith9407]

I sometimes wonder if it's an illness like cancer because it doesn't matter where in the world they originate from, their behavior is exactly the same. It took me 38 years before I realized that I married one of them 😢

[@istateyourname4710]

It may have something to do with their inability to experience authentic connections with other people.

[@duhmoan]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how they can watch someone 😢 cry & not care. Usually they're the reason they've made someone cry. Disturbing.

[@timahawk3220]

Yeah that’s true but what’s crazy is that they can’t take what they dish out and cry about it smh

[@user-zp1sr8kn6k]

Everything is all about them. They don't care about anyone, nor do they love others. They only love the nonstop attention you provide to them exclusively.

[@francesbernard2445]

Yes. Good thing there are some doctors around who have beat the odds when surviving through the same after needing nonstop attention too themselves for awhile because of overwork and so he (or she) is now so good at advocating for all patients who right now need to do the same.

[@user-zp1sr8kn6k]

@@francesbernard2445 Yes, I worked alongside doctors. It was difficult at times to allow their curt manner to just pass. When we were together for awhile they would see how I treated others differently. They'd ask for me or come around when I was there. I showed them rather than say anything. Later I studied med tech and worked in laboratories. Then I could actually instruct interns. I have a special bond that doesn't allow for entitlement, control, etc. with them. I regret marrying out of that field, and so does my family.

[@Greydog184]

Why don’t we learn about this in school. I always asked myself “ why does she pick fights , have a problem with my family, why am I apologizing 2 or 3 times a day for something ?? “

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I'm tired just thinking about my narcissistic dad! I haven't spoken with him since the day before Easter, he's pathetic.

[@karenbonnici6204]

My narcissist loves chaos and trouble. He told me once that he likes to complain. I'll tell you, he loves to criticize and likes it when I show that I am hurt. He feeds off of the pain he created and the confusion. Worst mistake that I ever made, giving him a second chance.

[@Greydog184]

Me too !! It was always something was doing this or that to her. I specifically remember the day I let her back in…… I haven’t heard from her in months. I think she knows I figured out what exactly she is all about now that I have been to counseling and read some books. Now it’s a entire level of hate and spite and trying to hurt me. And I have 2 young sons with her. Isn’t time to just get along without you involving a attorney ??

[@t.h.8475]

They enjoy inflicting pain and having a front row sear of watching it unfold.

[@l.5832]

@@t.h.8475 My narc ex-husband used to break precious family heirlooms just to see my reaction. Always happened when I wasn't home and always a story of how it 'wasn't his fault'. He liked to have company in when I came home and discovered the breakage. He wanted as many people as possible to see my pain and also make my discomfort worse because I had to tone down my anger in front of guests. He won either way: If I got angry (company not realizing the breakage was routine) he could say how mentally unstable I was. If I contained by emotions he loved how he knew I was struggling with both the loss of my possessions AND having to hide my emotions. This was a huge game for him that actually went on for years. So glad I am divorced now........The man was a sadistic narcissist. Therapist suggested sociopath/psychopath but could not diagnose without actually interviewing him.

[@kadenhiggins9338]

My dad is narcissistic and I was married to a narcissist for 16 years. Cold hearted ppl that don’t care about me is all that I know. When I try to get into a new relationship and they actually show affection and that they actually care about my feelings and emotions it feels so foreign that it scares me. So I’ve remained single ever since my divorce over 18 years ago. I’m so lonely.

[@hartofnixie7060]

There are good people out there if you will look for them and use the knowledge from Doctor C to avoid the narcissists or get out of the relationship quickly if you discover that trait.

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

You are not alone. All thoughts of a deep relationship scare me. My Mom is still Icey with boiling blood.

[@tbunnyshy1]

I hear you and relate. Divorced over 20 years now. I am not lonely, just “alone”. Its restful and peaceful.

[@megantaylor4189]

Sometimes I look at the comments. This one surprised me because I tend to just go around in my own head about it. Thank you for sharing how it is for you. Me too. It helps to hear from others.

[@nancytwigg4631]

Stay on Team Healthy, you may feel lonely...but for this moment, know we are with you and hear you. You will gain your courage and strength and find ways to dispell the loneliness. The answer is found in you. Not some other person or potential narcissist! Peace to ya today.

[@helenduplessis9820]

They CAN NOT apologize!!! 😮

[@andreah6379]

In fact, Dr. Carter has a video about the most important sign determining if you suspect a person is a narcissist. A narcissist will NEVER, ever take responsibility for their own mistakes or crimes--it's always someone else's fault or some other excuse they will use to escape accountability. Every time. To apologize means that they have to acknowledge they were wrong and no narcissist ever thinks they are wrong. That's also why narcissists never go get therapy. The problem is everybody else...not them, ever.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My dad(narcisssist) thinks it is below him to apologize, especially to a a woman, sexist jerk! (I'm female and I deserve a better father than him!)

[@jonnyblade46]

You're either a tool or an obstacle. Those are your only options if you're depending on a narcissist. You're just a minor component in the narcissists plans. Doesn't matter if you've been married for 40 years. The narcissist is fiercly goal driven, has no empathy with others and is proud of being cruel. This is a cold heart indeed. A narcissist will walk over you with spike shoes, while complaining that you move to much, disturbing the walking. It's like dealing with a robot.

[@andreah6379]

🎯

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I don't put with Dad's crap; he's not worth the time and effort. His loss of a punching bag/scapegoat. I win! (No-contact!)

[@cheezitsw3279]

Cold-hearted, heck, more like no-hearted.

[@tombuddy100]

Narcissists believe they should have what they desire, but other people should not have that, and that is somehow fair. But if others have what they desire, or what narcissists desire, they think that is not fair.

[@grammyspa-jammies1737]

I've often said that my husband treats me like I am a thorn in his side. When there was a repair needed in the house, I would have to ask him to please fix it over and over. So when he finally fixed the problem he would do a sloppy job. When I would ask him about it he would angrily snap at me, "WELL YOU WANTED IT DONE!"

[@jillevans4586]

im so glad im not a husband, as I'm a wonky woman and lack patience for dealing with mechanical shite.. wish I had a man to do all that shite for me. so jealous of women with husbands who are handy. but bad jobs would still annoy me .. maybe do the bad job yourself and your narcissistic hubby will hate it enough to take over instantly?

[@nickijames5122]

They love it when you have to ask them to do something over and over as it feeds their power and control knowing that we need them and that it’s frustrating us why it’s not been acknowledged. This is another reason I have to play into his hands if there’s something I need to discuss with him and at the same time I need him to do something for me. I wait until he has done whatever it is before speaking to him about what’s on my mind otherwise he wouldn’t do the thing I needed him to do. Not that there is ever a right time to speak to my narc. What a way to live 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@lindsayschilling8707]

Yep!

[@skinnyway]

because the blatant disregard for any other human is bred into them thru generation after generation. weak minds beget weak minds until you finally breed one who will walk away. Be the change you want to see. it takes hard work. love to you all.

[@roxannetaitano1490]

Absolutely!

[@morebirdsandroses]

❤and to you too.

[@schizorap]

I am trying to be the cycle breaker, it is an uphill battle

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

"I am the change...Dad doesn't like change." Too bad for him!

[@michaelclark4043]

Being thrown under the bus would be FAR less painful than being thrown out to the wolves.

[@andreah6379]

Both are.

[@izawaniek2568]

I will not allow those narcisists to crash my soul with their coldness. Dignity, respect and civility and warm-hearted people who are people of peace. Thank you dr Carter❤

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Ice has more warmth than a narcissist's "coldness"!

[@Cathyat40]

My then-husband told me that he had changed his mind about wanting to have children - over the phone, while I was working overtime on a Saturday. When I got home, I asked him if he wanted to see a marriage counselor, because I wasn't sure I wanted to stay married to him if we weren't going to try to have children. He said "I don't care". That was the moment I decided to leave. I told myself, "that is the last time I am going to hear him say 'I don't care'". He also told me he had stopped loving me, but many months later he attempted a hoover. If I hadn't been seeing a therapist, I might have gone back to him. That was 30 years ago. I never remarried, I was so afraid I would marry another man like him.

[@jillevans4586]

I don't think you should count the marriage to that man. if it was even a. man and not a Vrill droned Reptilian in a human snatched body... so therefore you can now get married for the FIRST TIME . then you can make more mistakes and stop fixating on the old ones? hahaha. I think its time you got over it and went all out to find a mushy empath guy and have some fun

[@maryanngarcia3080]

I understand. I stayed single for 20 years before getting married again.

[@ncsprung1847]

Did you have a child on your own?

[@Cathyat40]

No children

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My dad, when I complained, said "tough shit", end of that toxic man! I went no-contact as of Easter this year! My life is easier without his nitpicking at me.

[@annbrunoson2954]

They are soulcrushers! No normal person can stand their negativity. I must take care of that little girl I once was. Happy and full of life.

[@fred.k9875]

Because we are so warm hearted! There’s a factor of contrast there too!

[@nancytwigg4631]

Love that contrast idea, Fred! Yes, we are people of love, kindness, and peace. I second that emotion. And thank goodness we are!

[@fred.k9875]

@@nancytwigg4631 thank you Nancy!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My dad wants me to lie; to tell people that he is a great dad, doing things for me on a weekly basis, when the truth is: he can barely be bothered for birthdays/holidays. I deserve a better dad than him! I don't lie for him!

[@andreahicks967]

Sounds so simple. When it is your Mother and your her daughter , it is soul crushing .

[@jodizellmer994]

Yes, that's got to be the worst when it's your own mother who wants to destroy your life.

[@violajoseph8549]

Yes it is, especially, it's always the people closest to you but you have to cut them like a bad habit, slowly because if you have children they will also treat your children the same way. My mother in law doesn't even visit my children and I live next door to one of her daughter...next door not even 5 steps away. So I've learned from God relying on his strength 💪 to give them the gift of silence . Do not feed to it nor question it. They are toxic and sick and very controlling. Love you and enjoy life . ❤️ It can be done. Little by little until it's done for you wholeness and peace for you and your children as well. God want you to be healthy and whole so you can be fruitful and productive for you and your children. Be blessed.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My dad thinks the world, especially women, ought to revolve around him. He's delusional! I have no contact with him for this and other reasons.

[@lorinotarius]

Oh, you'll hear an apology if they think that is what they need to say to get back into your good graces. It will have absolutely no meaning behind it and they will not understand why they have to say it other than cognitively because they have been taught that "say 'amends'" will get them what they want. Don't believe it for a second.

[@World-Sojourner.22]

They “seem to be”. They remind me of the “dementor” character in the Harry Potter series. These creatures suck the joy out of their victims and when the Vic. Is worn down, they suck their soul out. Leaving the victim hollow. Anyone out there ever feel that way? Keep Healing! I pray Peace for all of us.

[@joshuaanzalone2060]

It's because they are insecure and that's the only way for them to compensate their inadequacies, so they bully.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

They are immature, too! Dad's a bully. I gave up on dealing with his toxicity! He has no business dumping toxic crap on my person. He ignores(deliberately) my boundaries and thinks it is funny to do that. He's delusional! I am no-contact with him!

[@beverlyadams7205]

“I just don’t care“. Had My light dimmed for the last time. I’m finding peace for the first time in my life. Thank you, Dr. C. I watch your videos every day to stay strong.🌷🌸🌹💕🌷🌸🌹😎

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

Stay Safe.

[@thesehandsart]

They just ghost you, right in front of them, tell you to "stop feeling sorry for yourself", anything to discard you.

[@morebirdsandroses]

Discard and yet keep you around. Major head-messing cruelty.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

narcissistic projection. they have the deepest self pity.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I'd like to tell my narc dad to "get over yourself!"

[@GodsGirl85]

Th level of self centeredness, selfishness, and inconsistency has been mind blowing. Never again.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

My ex husband actually gave me a card one year for Valentine's Day that read, "My heart may be black" and inside, "But it's all yours!" Why would a card manufacturer even make such a card? I actually cried when I read it because it was so hurtful. He told me once that he always felt full of rage and the implication was that I caused it. He also told me that I was a "dream crusher". That had to be projection.

[@jillevans4586]

yeah, you're a dream crusher because the way you reacted to how he treated you and any light you shed on it, caused his delusion about himself to be interrupted. I am narcissistic and I struggle to be grounded because like Lady Gaga I prefer my version of events... but I realize that reality is going to put in its two cents and I do learn from criticism and failure. your guy likes to believe in unrealistic pop star illusions about themselves. reality bad. me pretty.. sort of thing

[@silveradotow957]

Mow butter Dann ahh bigg mouth carz , crushers

[@AuthorAngieDeLisi]

Mine gave me a so glad your my wife card with no ring 💍 then he bought and returned a ring before he even gave it to me and was calling me his fiancé … I broke it off after that and I’m so glad l did ❤

[@Greydog184]

My ex left ALL the cards I gave her for me to find. I was looking through one that was to me. It was something like “ How lucky I am to have such a wonderful wife “ ….. She probably believed it and it wasn’t a “ joke card “ to her. 😂

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

They are confessing through projections.

[@kateonazi4491]

Do not allow them take over who you are...That is the word for me... 💯

[@Nat77ification]

First of all... GUS. 🤗🐶🧡! Ugh, my mother and sister... they (especially the former) make me feel literal physical illness. At the age of 45, I’ve finally cut them out of my life. No regrets.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I get it, Natalie. Best wishes to you...and it's good to hear from you.

[@lindahenderson1625]

I have the same situation, my mother and younger sister. Both evil. The only family members left, but my sanity and self care vastly outweighs giving them my attention. It hurts, deeply, up less than if I continued to interact with them. My mom is gone now. Haven’t had contact with my sister or her family which she cut off from my husband and me, for over twenty years. I think of them occasionally, but will not reach out to them. My sister lied about me and thus the “children” have no interest in knowing me. That truly hurts, but if they can’t think for themselves , perhaps I’m better off. You are strong and courageous. I commend you on focusing on yourself. Best wishes.

[@morebirdsandroses]

Good for you! I'm also NC with the same and was NC with my father until his death. Hold to the truth you're learning as I do and be well and happy🌹And yes! Gus.

[@hayleyferguson5284]

My parents and in-laws. Can only think, in the final analysis that there is an evil spiritual element involved.

[@Minga-pi3fo]

There is, and if you look deep enough, other therapists who are faith-based will call this out for you.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I exorcized my demonic dad from my life via no-contact and I am feeling much better!

[@LaniLanilei]

Dr Carter you are talking about my experiences. It was a miserable life.

[@nancytwigg4631]

Rita, so glad you speak of your life with the narcissist in past tense. It WAS miserable. We all need to focus on our future peaceful life, eh?

[@LaniLanilei]

I agree and thank you

[@joyceottino1830]

I’ve been married to a narcissist for almost 50 years. I never knew what a narcissist was. 😭

[@cyndim8785]

It’s been 40 years for me. Sometimes I wonder how many people are in a Mental Institution because they couldn’t take it anymore.

[@perceptiveperson5842]

That was my situation, also. I began to research narcissism after it was over. I did know about gaslighting and expressed that. He said he knew he lacked empathy - but I didn't pick up on the import until later.

[@andreah6379]

I don't understand how that is possible. I lived with a narcissistic mother until I was 20yo then left and never ever looked back. As a young child, even then in the 60s, I knew that something was seriously wrong with my mom. All I had to do was observe other little girls my age and how their moms reacted with them to see the problem. Then it wasn't until I got therapy in my early 50s that I discovered my mom's sickness was narcissism. All those red flags now had a diagnosis. I wish you luck and hope you find your happiness.

[@joyceottino1830]

Thank you. Had to stay because of financial reasons. It hurts me to know the damage it caused my kids.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My narc dad has made my life miserable for sixty years. I went no-contact on Easter. Best decision ever!

[@gracewarrior5354]

SMH💯😇💕no matter WHAT you say, it's ALWAYS twisted around to "fit THEIR narrative"🤬

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

🎯🙏

[@Greydog184]

Yes!! Pick a fight with me and then go outside and FaceTime her dad….. Then come back in and say “ see how mean he is !! “ Whatttt ???

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

To hell with their "narrative"!

[@franzherflek4116]

Narcs, have a very strong desire for revenge, even if its something slight that was done to them , even something that happened years ago, me or you could easily let it go, not a narc and that breeds cold heartedness.... People must be punished in eyes of a narc no matter how ridiculous the offence on them was..

[@tranquility9325]

AMEN

[@surlif]

After decades with a covert narcissist and his very passive aggressive narc family, my soul has been crushed, jumped up and down upon, and nearly destroyed. I am fighting to get it back. I am working hard to once again merge my earthly existence with soul purpose. After years of abuse, it is difficult but I am joyful about every tiny bit of progress I make in that direction.

[@roxannetaitano1490]

Right behind you!🌞

[@mday3821]

Right there with you.

[@ejnix7874]

Keep trying, it’s hard

[@trumpeterswan4177]

Me too!

[@morebirdsandroses]

Another yes vote!

[@lennie1703]

When I heard, "sitting on a mountain of anger", something clicked into place. It's nothing to do with the victim in front of them now, but they get to hear about it!! It's always there underneath every breath they take through gritted teeth.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You get it!

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

in many ways it is not personal. they treat everyone with the same contempt if their control game is not working.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

It can also be a "mountain of b........"

[@roxymovie3938]

They are so cold hearted because... ...they have imprisoned their true self. The core of love cannot be reached with a false self, that is constantly living in a compensating mode. Fear at its core is the opposite of love.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Couldn't agree more ❣

[@nancytwigg4631]

Good thoughts, Roxy. Thanks for sharing.

[@roxymovie3938]

@@amandaliverpool3374 Thanks, Amanda 💗

[@roxymovie3938]

@@nancytwigg4631 You are welcome, Nancy. 😊

[@msigg2656]

In a low moment of my life I reached out to a "friend" and their advice actually was "life sucks and then you die". This came from someone who would call at all hours of the night and day to engulf me in their current problem... and yes, they always had a problem to throw at me... always

[@andreah6379]

With narcissists, it drains you because it's always them taking and you giving. Period.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

One-way street to hell!

[@ozzyhouston2535]

At least the non-covert narcissist lets you know what you are dealing with. The covert narcissist I knew was more evil by an order of magnitude. He had the act down pat. He could appear caring. He could express sympathy. He was genial. Reminds me of something: I took a class with a guy who had interviewed Ted Bundy a number of times. He told the class, "There isn't a woman in this room who wouldn't have been taken in by Ted." As in fooled by his charm.

[@mday3821]

I always say, the Coverts are the worst ones because you never see them coming. They are more sinister because of the passive-aggressiveness behavior & it takes awhile to figure out that's it was them the whole time.

[@malwads1836]

The biggest thing is taking your sweet old time getting to know a person & moving slowly....Eventually the 🎭 starts to slip.Conflicts & crisis for example often act as a litmus test for determining how narcissistic people are.

[@veral2274]

You just described my ex. He is late 50s but he exudes such charm, confidence and a level of attentiveness that reels any woman with low boundaries in. Which he uses to his benefit, he's an epic womaniser. I find the line between covert narcissism and psychopathy a very thin one. In his case, they certainly overlapped.

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

@@malwads1836 or you can start a conflict on purpose to see with whom you are dealing with! Or go travelling with them and in stressful situations they suddenly scream at you or become really mad out of nowhere!

[@malwads1836]

@@Rosalie-ct8mi Exactly😁🤭. Another thing is to introduce differing opinions from THEIR opinion...A normal person understands & accepts that we're at least going to have some minor differences.Narcissistic people on the other ✋🏻 can't wrap their head around the fact that people can have a VALID & different perspective on something and will typically either try very hard to the point of being overbearing to get you to go along with THEIR opinion...& if they can't get you to go along with them,they may just flat-out act like you're stupid or overly difficult for simply having a opinion that is different.A full-blown narcissist in particular perceives a LOT of "threats" even when in reality there isn't actually a conflict.

[@llkellenba]

No way around indebtedness feature along with simmering contempt … they not only don’t care - they take pleasure in crushing the vulnerable parts of another individual 😥

[@kaybarnes1176]

Dr Carter, you are helping so many people, including me. Thank you

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're very welcome

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Hi Dr. Carter, Gus! 307 peaceful, happy days without contact with my narcissist father! I'm staying "invincible...I am woman"

[@cwonderland6259]

"Stop being dramatic" was my parents' favorite, about drama that they created with me.

[@andreah6379]

My mom, one family narcissist, use to ALWAYS complain to me whenever I asked for help, "Stop your pouting!" Ironically, my mom pouted all the time whenever she didn't get her way. Projection is what psychologists call it.

[@Francie315]

My narcissistic family member favorite two words for me is: Crazy & dramatic. I gave, gave, gave until I was tapped out. And when she realized that I couldn’t do anymore and refused to. She began telling people that I didn’t do what I did. And I was thrown away. Cold blooded is putting it mildly. I was poisoned and she influenced the children that I helped her raise and loved to poison my food! They can easily become murderers!

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

Wow you were even poisoned? That is pure evil! I am so sorry you had to experience this, my goodness, how can another "human"being do this to your own children? That is what is so mind bogglng with narcissistic mothers! Take care and hope you are living by yourself now in peace !

[@KB-sj4nv]

The absence of Love. That statement helped so much. I believe that is the best description of this disorder. Thank you so much.

[@mday3821]

For the life of me, I just cannot wrap my mind around how someone can treat someone (who did nothing to them) so horribly. Mind you, even if someone hurts you it is still no excuse. I will never forget the day my mother looked at me with pure hatred and discuss. I felt an inch tall...my heart just broke! I still remember the coldest coming from her eyes. It is difficult to not take it personally.😢

[@trumpeterswan4177]

I can so relate, this is the way my mother treats me as well.

[@mday3821]

@Trumpeter Swan I'm so sorry. I know the heartbreak that comes with it. The one person who should love us the most doesn't. It doesn't get any better, but worst, I'm afraid. Can you go no contact or at the very least low contact? My thoughts are with you and know you're not alone.💗

[@trumpeterswan4177]

@Mday3821 yes I am no contact primarily except for financial issues. However now she is trying to guilt me into visiting her because she says she is 85 now and won't live forever. She figured our that I may not be at her funeral and this is not what pleases her. It's her last hurrah after all! And I just ignore her like she does and she doesn't like it one bit. But I am no longer her punching bag or her supply.

[@mday3821]

@@trumpeterswan4177 Good for you. May you find healing.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I was born, I am female, that is the provocation my dad needs to make my life miserable. There is no excuse for his crap. He needs to grow up and shut the hell up. He nitpicks at me. He thinks he' s perfect, not!

[@evanna369]

He found the word delusional one day after I broke with him. He he sent texts calling me delusional, Delusional!!! DELUSIONAL!!! I just laughed.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

He's projecting onto you, what he is!

[@erickrichter210]

Wow! I was just texting a lady for a couple weeks and being so love-bombed. I thought maybe she was ready for a date so asked her out again. She didn't respond to my invitation so I questioned her politely about it. She blew up in narcissistic rage and I got told some very negative things and that she was calling it quits....and it was my fault. I was amazed at how the lovebombing so quickly turned to rage. Makes me realize all the sweet things she said were manipulate to hook me....but she's not ready for a vulnerable position where I might discover her true self...but reveals I'm the problem or she needs to reject me before I reject her. Several things you said are helping me understand this situation. It's not about me but her fears, insecurities...I can see that now

[@awebs121]

If she was nasty and accusing of you in rejecting you then she’s not just nervous.. she is a recidivist game player..a sociopath. It was never about your kindness only her huge ugly fragile Ego.. I know a very spoilt musician in Brighton uk who admitted ..”his rules” and vicious yet articulate male at 62 then four years ago. He has his public act perfected I have it on audio in case of his threats (via cops) again: audio self describing “feminist Judges affect on my life” barmy! no matter which gender it’s an NPD calling card down to a tee. stay safe.

[@erickrichter210]

@@awebs121 Thanks! I was just blown away by the night and day difference in tone from calling me sweetheart and hun and that her daughter will love me and that I'm the right one and all that..... then just asked her on a date again or question why she didn't respond to my invitation and she blew up. Probably so many things going on there. I'm an empath and feel sorry for her. She had told me that she never knew her father and that when her parents divorced and mom moved back to Poland, "Dad never cared enough to come looking " for her. Probably VERY major wounds there... feelings of lack of worth and all that.

[@tranquility9325]

​@Erick Richter don't feel sorry for her she's a phony fraud.

[@ejnix7874]

So glad you can see through.

[@ZosAos]

Seriously, steer clear. Very seriously.

[@ohpohp481]

They're cold because of the lack of empathy. A narcissist has an agenda and if you don't go along with it there will be trouble.

[@perceptiveperson5842]

Why are narcissists selectively cold hearted?

[@tbunnyshy1]

Its manipulation, to get what they want when they want it.

[@birchboy79]

Such a great question. I was just talking about this in therapy an hour ago.

[@perceptiveperson5842]

@@tbunnyshy1 My view: The narcissist is cold hearted to his selected target to disarm, generating negative supply. Others, outside of the relationship, the narcissist wants to see their false, upbeat self, generating positive supply.

[@tbunnyshy1]

@@perceptiveperson5842 absolutely…so many motives.

[@ebony41441]

Because it’s all fake, like a mirage. Only kind to get what they want.

[@1Marflowa]

Today I told my mom, that im so tired, couse of 2,5 years of interupted sleep, couse I 24/7 take Care of my child, since birth. I am telling over and over again, that im scared that my body can't take it no more. I take Care of everything on my own. I need a little help. My mom said ' you talk to much, it doesn't help talking about it ' . I told her ' get out of my house right now ' . She left. Then i had to cough and thro up, that's how tired i am. I don't see Light at the end of the tunnel. Only the love for my child keeps me going on. And God's help.

[@melany.muraour]

The problem is this cold-heartedness only rocks up once they've lovebombed you and you've fallen in love with them 😢

[@tranquility9325]

The person you fell in love with doesn't exist. That was their fake costume they wore to manipulate you. It's the equivalent of falling in love with a ghost.

[@daynapeterson9033]

You learn alot about narcissists when you are dealing with a personal crisis. My husband was in the hospital on a ventilator and my narc mom called me to ask when I could break away and take her to the casino!! Talk about cold-hearted! I went no-contact and will never see her again.

[@BrNolife]

I am about to start a divorce with my narcissistic husband who is the one who is initiating it. He has turned even worse than I would ever imagine. Thank you for all the videos. This is empowering me not to take things personally from him.

[@saltlightandjoyministries4138]

I feel the same way about these videos. They are so healing, positive, and encouraging.

[@miss_whipps]

"That sounds like a YOU problem..." That was the response I got when expressing my heartache over the increasingly dismissive way I was being treated by my S.O. 😒🤦‍♀️🤯🙄

[@bobbilynnsmith5146]

My Narc had no compassion for me while dealing with breast cancer - couldn't even ask a simple how are you? Wow, hurt me more than the chemo! I'm fine now and went no contact over a year ago. Good riddance. Thanks Dr. C for helping to explain that f-up situation.

[@nickijames5122]

I’m sorry you had to deal with cancer and then to be treated with such indifference. Truly heartbreaking and Utterly disgusting! This is what worries me the longer I stay with my narc husband, as we just don’t know what other stuff life will throw at us and I don’t want to ever be in that situation you’ve been in. It’s hard enough now when he invalidates anything I’m feeling or going through 😔

[@bridget1566]

Dr C you are spot on once again. I do have one more for you to add. I've been married to a narcissist husband for 27 years. After all the arguing, fighting and tears on MY part. His newest saying is "I didn't know I was doing anything wrong" that to me is so cruel, how the hell can a 55 year old man not know right from wrong?

[@violajoseph8549]

Exactly 💯 that part😅

[@janeteddddd]

Same response from my husband.. 68 yrs old! In my head I'm thinking this man is either mentally ill or mentally retarded 🤔😥🤬

[@andreah6379]

Hell, I have never met any narcissist that even puts himself and the word "wrong" in the same sentence or question! I have a hard time imagining living with a narcissist for that length of time. My mom was a malignant narcissist. I sensed she had issues when I was an adolescent. Once I hit 20yo, I left home & never ever looked back! My life blossomed and I am 67yo today & don't waste a minute of my precious time wondering if only... Narcissists don't know how to love. It's foreign to them. They are incapable of real bonding. I had zero connection with my mom. Living with her was as much of a bond as any child would have with some temporary babysitter who cared more about her bffs or clothes than actual babysitting. She was absent for every milestone I ever had and actually told me blankly that she never ever wanted kids. It's so easy to cut ties with this type of subpar human.

[@jenniekotoff6772]

Hello Team Healthy! 🙋‍♀️🫶

[@aaronkwolfe]

G'day and welcome. Find a comfy seat close to a stream of kindred spirits.

[@myhalowithin]

Hello Jennie Kotoff💞

[@ellensc-hawley3720]

you hit the nail on the head, they use people to do their dirty work they are self righteous & so arrogant. I see through them like seeing through a pane of glass. I've emotionally detached

[@jodizellmer994]

They also know their lies will somehow get back to you, they just don't count on you figuring out who's actually responsible. When you finally do figure them out it only gets worse, especially if they can't get anybody you have frequent contact with to believe their lies. They'll continue until they find something that will stick, which obviously isn't easy or they wouldn't have to try so hard.

[@NoMoreMrNiceGuy2003]

@@jodizellmer994 Yes! Their SMEAR CAMPAIGN never really ends. It involves multiple people that have been recruited obviously. Collective GASLIGHTING is what it is

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

They are impossible!

[@marquettashahid3328]

Thanks Great information... zero Emotional Empathy, self-centered, selfish, Takers, bitter, jealous, cold-hearted Demons 😈. Searching for New victims only.. be Aware 😢😢 💔 Absolutely 💯

[@veral2274]

My ex came to my place, we had a lovely 3 course meal, and then he dumped me with the exact same cold composure he had when he fired his team of 40+ national advisers on zoom that same week.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Nice guy!

[@mikediamond353]

You are no longer a benefit to me. But Wait until I ingest your final offering.

[@leketah78]

It’s mind boggling and definitely cold hearted!

[@reguengosdemonsaraz2334]

A pleasant day for everyone. With gratitude, from Portugal. Thank you so much, Dr. Carter!

[@denisedevoto5703]

Another phrase I have heard a lot over my life is "get over it."

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I'd like to tell my dad(narc) to "get over himself!"

[@ro7547]

I have been blaming myself for being too needy, but you just made me feel much better. I am the type of person you described right off the bat. I will admit, though, that it upsets me when someone doesn’t treat me the same.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

My ex always accused me of being needy when I would ask for him to spend time with me. It's a ploy meant to make us go away and not ask for anything.

[@maryswobodapishney7559]

7:29 I have had to deal with these people my whole life, and worse a sister who is a malignant narcissist. The latter are, as my psychiatrist warned me was, "dangerous"". They really want to destroy you out of devilish jealousy and and truly get an evil joy when they hurt you, destroy your career and trash your character to any and everyone.

[@aubraehersel7720]

"Narcissism is the absence of love" This speaks to my confusing and damaging journey. He isn't capable of feeling love, that's why he revels in my pain.

[@andreah6379]

I would wonder if any man I cared for "reveled" when I hurt if he was a sadist, too. Usually, in my own experience with a narcissistic family, I find that narcissists hurt ppl around them but ignore them when they need empathy or attention. People don't exist to narcissists unless they need them for something. Like Dr. Carter said, "They. Don't. Care." So if you get a rise from this person when you hurt, maybe it's not narcissism but something else.

[@alysiahite7086]

A mountain of anger is right. My ex narc husband was mad all the time. 🙄

[@gloriacoleman7012]

YEP cold shallow and dark, with no love no hope in their lives, pitty them from a distance.

[@2happygrls]

I got, "What am I supposed to do about it?"

[@mandycote5662]

Though Come to think of it Patience is a virtue That narcissists LACK 🤔

[@lettya2005]

My father has these behaviors. It's so hard to hold a conversation with him because he can be so mean.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I have been no-contact with him since Easter, no stress for me!

[@ZarpeParadise]

We think they think like we think. They don't. Sharing with my friend w/DIL issues. TY

[@summersled5635]

The first time I witnessed his cold-hearted indifference was on a mountain bike outing. I was just learning to mountain bike and fell off my bike, with my bike falling on top of me. He just looked at me in disgust and rather than coming over to help me, he said, "what am I going to do with you? " I was shocked at his indifference.

[@RaggedyA]

the 'golden child'' who claimed me the 'problem child' told me that communication and love in families was ONLY in movies, not real life. C'est la vi...no life there. I won't be going back.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I am the "problem child/truth-teller/scapegoat: an unasked for, untenable role!

[@Mama.bear.]

Thank you for your help and care, Dr. Carter. It is greatly appreciated! Just feeling your compassion through these videos is immensely helpful. God bless you and your family.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you

[@jolenerey130]

Wow…. Dr. Just described my 1987 high school “sweetheart “, husband of 33 years! Now physically separated for almost 2 years after 3rd adultery (that I know of). The whole separation “thing” has been very painful for myself and the family, but necessary in order for me to be free and begin to heal…Jesus is so good and will help me and our two daughters restore and move forward. 🙏🏼

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Best wishes to you, Jolene.

[@Jennifer-tg7ip]

Deep inside I am a caring individual. I don't have a mean cruel personality. These narcissists "teach" others how to act.