Why So Many Men Are Now Scared To Talk To Women

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Chris and Louise Perry discuss why men aren’t approaching women in public anymore. Why does Louise Perry think Men aren’t approaching women anymore? What societal factors are at play according to Louse Perry? What does Louise Perry believe is the inevitable end for men not approaching women?
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[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Louise here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fnLQgmqKmNebbKM. Get a 35% discount on all Cozy Earth products at www.cozyearth.com/modernwisdom

[@peterGnash]

hey chris, can you address the social construct that is the mating value of formal education. seems like its an outdated measure of "value" in dating and is just an ego thing at this point. "i need someone with equal or higher (formal) education status than me" will mean nothing in the coming years and thus one aspect of these dating issues should be corrected. Women will be 'humbled' a bit (i.e. some of the hot air let out) and in the meantime men will set a new criteria for status (since it matters more for men's access to sex than a woman's).

[@nekemli2622]

Why don't we talk about how women don't approach men? Women approach men even less, than men approach women.

[@taylorc2542]

How about women approaching us? They sure do talk about equality a lot.

[@schadenfreude2555]

Chris, perhaps "pyschodynamics" is a better term for the subject of male-female social interactions than "thermodynamics".

[@barrypeters5136]

Wise beyond your age young man. You guest was great

[@JezaLoki]

2 female friends were having a conversation about dating. I sat quietly, drinking my beer, listening in. After 2 hours of non stop chatter I said to them "Hey, did you know that all this boils down to 2 main complaints : the 1st complaint is that you hate it when guys approach you. The 2nd complaint is that guys don't approach. ( they were nodding in agreement) How can you have these two complaints AT THE SAME TIME?" They looked at each other, looked back at me like I was a homeless who just pissed themself and said "We just want the RIGHT guys to approach us". What followed can be summarised as "men must read our mind and know when we find them attractive".

[@chriscampbell9191]

Exactly.

[@bullballsallday]

🍻 Women. Can't live with them...the end. --- Al Bundy

[@stevec3526]

In other words they don’t want to take on any responsibility.

[@yukisnoww]

Apparently they don't get it...but it's fine, they can wish (not hope, wish, lol). It might happen, but probably never.

[@loveyourketo1433]

If I sit with my female friend in a bar no we are not open targets for any man sometimes we just want to enjoy a drink. Read the signs guys. Approach yes love it support it appreciate it thankful for it but not constantly everywhere. Politely Sent 2 guys away and yet a third comes over and thinks he’s the one to take us home. Didn’t even for a second watch the scene or serious interest in us as human beings

[@torachan23]

They always ask "why arent men approaching?".... They never ask "why arent women being more approachable?"

[@nKarje]

Or why women essentially never approach men

[@gregroles5638]

@@nKarje certainly starts to happen in middle age if you keep yourself in shape and make an effort!!

[@stevec3526]

Greg, Aware men don’t want to date single mothers. Too many crazy issues.

[@supers0nic77]

Oh they'll approach gigachad and ubertyrone

[@jeanjacqueslundi3502]

@@supers0nic77 What's the asian and latino version of chad and tyrone? xD lol now I'm curious.

[@R1pTheJacka]

The worst is when you approach a cute girl and her overweight friend jumps in to tell you "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED"..it's always the fridge protecting the snacks

[@xannecorinnex]

“It’s always the fridge protecting the snacks” that analogy has me dead 🤣💀😂

[@andyukmonkey]

I love that line, heh

[@ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke]

And just by the way you wrote this everybody can tell she is not interested for a very, VERY good reason.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

BRO STOP 😂😂😂 too good

[@sourceeee]

This line deserves an award

[@clownshow5901]

Most of the women I see, whether at the store or at work, walk around with a pissed off look on their face while staring at the floor or the ceiling, doing anything to avoid having to look at anyone. Who the hell wants to approach that?

[@highnoon7097]

This sounds like a you problem. Don't be so bitter about your own failings

[@masteryoda498]

@@highnoon7097 Failed PUA/Simp detected here.

[@HailNyarlathotep]

@@highnoon7097 That doesn’t even make any sense. Get a brain.

[@redactedcanceledcensored6890]

Interesting, they stare at me while pissed off somewhat often. I must be attractive and they are pissed off about that fact. They are still rude though.

[@bloodymares]

A kind word can do wonders to change that pissed off look to a genuine smile. A lot of people have it hard, not everyone can smile 24/7 at strangers who they have no reason to trust. But breaking through all that can make anyone's day and they'd think about you at least a couple of times even if you simply decide to leave after a friendly interaction and don't ask for contact info. That applies to both men and women because almost all people need friendly interaction. Don't focus on unpleasant talks, focus on the occasional positive interactions where a person shows interest in the conversation.

[@JF-xm6tu]

In my experience if they find you attractive they appreciate the approach. If they don't find you attractive they will shame you and they will abuse you. It's pretty demoralising tbh, literally playing a gamble whether the girl is going to be nice or really nasty

[@chrisazure1624]

And the men who are immune to the rejection are horrible people. But women do get what they train. I have met women who fell in love with people they would not have been attractive to, but got to know the guy in an organic setting and fell in love with the man.

[@rrwholloway]

You might call it toxic femininity

[@tgheretford]

Worse still now, new laws are coming in to deal with unwanted communication and behaviour. Dating apps will also have a legal duty to prevent and act. One wrong move toward one person will destroy your social status and potentially risk your liberty and give you a criminal record for life.

[@macmcleod1188]

Plus there's legal risk, social risk, and career risk.

[@JF-xm6tu]

@@tgheretford it's just insane. It's like it's engineered or something

[@ElonTrades]

Like 15 years ago my father who’s from Eastern Europe complained that he can’t even talk to women in the USA, in the sense that they’re awfully unapproachable. And he’s absolutely right.

[@graceg3250]

lol Eastern Europeans aren’t known for being approachable in any context. What’s probably going on is he doesn’t have the right accent down, which heavily influences the tone he interprets from others and the tone he projects onto others. Cultural differences will also heavily influence how you expect someone to respond in a given context. I’m sure he has had many missed opportunities to engender friendly connection with others. And I’m sure he has been utilizing the wrong methods to get it.

[@ronnie_5150]

The crap women watch on TV and the internet TELLS them they are better than us. @@slow-adhesiveness-4933

[@MMK86]

@@graceg3250 uh oh, we got an expert here 🤡

[@Just_a_Lad]

@@graceg3250 I am from Eastern Europe and you're actually wrong. In general we're quite approachable. We engage in conversation even if this conversation is difficult.

[@RenegadeManta799]

100%. Even in casual customer employee conversations I have always found the women far nicer and more approachable whenever I'm in Eastern Europe.

[@FrankM]

I went to a speed dating event back in early December 2023. Two women complained that men don't approach them. I mentioned it's because women often don't do anything to invite an approach, like eye contact and/or smiling. They each looked at me dumbfounded. Women don't really understand how dating and relationships work, because most of the responsibility falls on the man. The man has to initiate, the man has to ask, the man has to be consistent, and the woman is just there receiving.

[@xDUxEXcluSIvE]

@FrankM men have to do all this lol it’s just not worth the effort anymore

[@andyscherer6936]

I am 59 and can say that I believe that women are absolutely terrible at navigating and improving relationships. I have been dumbfounded so many times....

[@hiteck007]

I did speed dating nights for short period. And it was always the same Gold Digging questions, that was a total turn off & I Never returned

[@andyscherer6936]

@@hiteck007 Well, a very common , expected, and fair question for a woman to ask a man at an event like that is "What do you do for a living?". So unless she asks directly "how much money do you make" .....well I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.

[@hiteck007]

@@andyscherer6936 That was usually about their 2nd question, every question was centered around MONEY and how much you have. Once I saw they all asked the same questions well I was done with that lot. They were ALL GOLD DIGGERS. They weren't impressed with my answers either. LOL

[@southernprideyankee]

If ur handsome its flirting If ur ugly its creepy ...im ugly and approaching is not worth the humiliation

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Most guys who think they’re ugly are out of shape and have a bad wardrobe. I promise you my bro, hit that gym, eat right, find good clothes. Dont gotta break the bank to get the best out of life, my dude. Go forth and conquer yourself, she’ll show up eventually 🤝

[@Proximity94]

@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access preach, you have no idea how checking these on the list improves your self-confidence

[@p382742937423y4]

I am somewhat goodlooking, and its a gamble.

[@Proximity94]

@@p382742937423y4 that’s true but a gamble with more favorable odds

[@graveyardshift6691]

@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access Stop lying. If it didn't happen 15 years ago it's not going to happen now when they're all on the same bandwagon.

[@OmegaIL]

Not gonna lie, being laughed at for approaching a girl is not a nice feeling.

[@Eleriol84]

Getting rejected with a sneer and to see her and all her friends laugh at you is quite the experience

[@OmegaIL]

@@Eleriol84 yep

[@valentingartner3793]

Who tf does that? That’s so scummy.

[@averagejoe7860]

so what? if theyre not interested, then boo fucking hoo. lets adapt the approach, put on a fresh smile, and go get the next one. its all a mindset. get some thicker skin

[@OmegaIL]

@@averagejoe7860 you're not wrong. But it sure as hell doesn't make things easier.

[@thomasel9171]

As everyone else in the comments has said, society treats attractive men well, and unattractive men like the plague.

[@PTMcMullen]

and women consider a '9' to be an 'average' man that they'd be willing to settle for.

[@danielcraig9666]

That's the thing, "unattractive" isn't even the problem. An 8 who isn't the most interesting man in the world will be treated as poorly as a 2.

[@brianmeen2158]

Yes and as a guy if you aren’t attractive you could still work out daily and work on the gifts you do have like intelligence or creativity .. too many guys are focused on looks and think it’s hopeless if you aren’t great looking. That is nonsense

[@danielcraig9666]

@@brianmeen2158 It's not nonsense, there's literal statistics about this stuff.

[@chriscampbell9191]

@@brianmeen2158 Only partly agree. Unattractive men can develop attractive personalities, learn to play the game, and if they're loaded they will -- or can -- do well. Women are drawn to wealth and charisma. I've seen that in bars, where women were drawn to well-paid factory men and well-dressed professionals like iron filings to a strong magnet. But I don't think that every comment in these threads about unattractive men being overall treated like shit is an untrue comment. Even working out and lifting isn't a guarantee you'll do better. 60% of younger men (age 18-30) being alone in the US is an indication that something is haywire, and you can't tell me all of those 60% of men 18-30 are unattractive. There are other factors at play, obviously.

[@jackspring7709]

I remember when I was a youth - having a girlfriend was something to strive for: I see my nephews now: in their teens - they don't seem to give a hoot about girls: they study hard, do plenty of sports, they're driven and they seem to be a lot calmer than we were at that age.

[@DrSoapp]

It's easy to feel peace and content when you know you don't have to lose half of your assets to someone who "changed their mind"

[@cashcowcommissions6790]

I think you meant they’re a lot smarter 🤣 Intelligent men, even young men see women for the nonsense they prioritize! Men have woken up, no matter what age!

[@pronounshismajesty3542]

Low test

[@fuzzypanda1684]

Seriously? With all the sex constantly shoved in our faces, and the façade that we all have unlimited options, I'd think they'd be borderline obsessed with chasing tail.

[@RemziCavdar]

The opposite is reality and maybe because it's shoved in our faces@@fuzzypanda1684

[@journeywithin9155]

When men approach me, I am warm and welcoming, no matter who he is. It takes a lot of courage to approach a woman. I am married and can set my boundaries confidently. As they leave I tell them that I admire their courage and appreciate the compliment. Made my day. Rejection doesn’t have to be cruel. It can be done with kindness.

[@Areso2012]

If there is a karma-thing, I hope it would return you your kindness.

[@Thinker1985]

Thank you for being a decent human being. We are quick to shame those who misbehave and often forget to simply praise those who appropriately behave.

[@Trancymind]

Sadly here in USA in this century, you'll see women shaming men and reporting them creepers to the human resources despite accepting his phone number while she said 'thanks' to him while she smiled. When this type of things happen very often to men, you'll see a different shift changing within society. Man would rather be alone instead of putting him under the bus by her. Manipulation at its best. I can never put any woman in trouble in that type of situation despite her unknown outcome with her courage.

[@poetsrear]

1%

[@RAntonio93]

I hate to break it to you. But whether you know it or not the reason you are warm is because you are married. Man or woman when they are taken have 0 defensive barriers up because they have nothing to gain or lose interacting with the opposite sex. The women who are taken are always the friendliest and those who are single are often very cold and stand off ish.

[@barneymiller4088]

I am older and back in the day women considered a man approaching them a compliment and responded gracefully. Today, a percentage of women consider it an opportunity to humiliate a man and signal their independence from men in general. They will brag how they shot the guy down with heir girlfriends. This ruins getting approached for all women.

[@HotelMari0Maker]

Yup. Literally how my parents met. My mom says back in the day (she grew up in the 80s) it was normal and flattering.

[@prussiansocietyofamerica]

@@HotelMari0Maker It was still pretty bad in the 80's though...

[@loganzamanwalker8763]

Yeah true 100%!! I saw it with my own eyes. Socialising after work and all these ladies were bragging about how they string men along

[@loganzamanwalker8763]

I could imagine how they would like in group chats..

[@MarthaAnthony]

That sucks. I always appreciated the compliment and the guts it took to approach me. As long and the guy was also courteous, and not too persistent, vicious if rejected etc. I think a lot of women have also seen men turn nasty if we politely refused them.

[@Kraterlandschaft]

Ask women this: What's worse: 1. When unwanted attention happens. 2. When it stops.

[@shreypethkar8724]

One hell of a good comment and no replies, lemme fix that

[@johnfoley4023]

Did you mean when ALL ATTENTION stops.....?

[@thystaff742]

The attention has essentially stopped. Not unless they're posting their backside on social media or OF.

[@siriusfun]

The original post is challenging that. And yes - when the "unwanted" attention stops, and it will, many will not be okay with it. @@Adele5554

[@korbendallas2508]

That is an excellent inquiry🧐

[@R1pTheJacka]

Colombia was such an eye opening experience for me, and I'm sure lots of Americans who have gone there have experienced similar. It was so refreshing to get CLEAR and OBVIOUS signals of interest. Women who were interested in me would stare and smile so hard at me that it would be weird if I DIDN'T approach them. Coming back home felt so disheartening. RBFs and closed off body language everywhere I went. Unnatural conversations where I had to consciously decide whether I should just be myself and say what's on my mind or walk on eggshells since every word and action of mine is hyper fixated and analyzed. I just feel like a jester in America - expected to entertain someone who thinks they're above me and grades my performance. Kills me to know that I could be my more authentic self in a foreign land more than my own home

[@KpxUrz5745]

Really one of the best comments here. It explains everything.

[@courtneyharris1006]

passport bros✔️

[@michael10613]

american dating is dead. Getting your money up and passports are the way to go

[@tonysamosa1717]

You did not just seriously compare going to Colombia as an American (presumably) to the regular dating scene. You’re talking about tricking. I’m gonna guess these interactions with women who were “interested” wasn’t in a small city like Jardin or Solento; it was in el poblado.

[@R1pTheJacka]

@@tonysamosa1717 you're not wrong that working girls will do that as well, but yes many normal civilian women will genuinely act the same way. The entire culture is way less rooted in individualism. They understand that going out means socializing, dancing, and actually making your night worthwhile instead of just sitting in a circle looking at your phone all night

[@RF590KG84]

Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall never be disappointed.

[@fuzzypanda1684]

Ah, the ol' Dodgeball philosophy.

[@half_real]

"I expect nothing and I'm still let down."

[@Grail_Knight]

Beta!

[@Grail_Knight]

Get on semen retention now!

[@HeavyK.]

We hear from modern women: 1) Men approach me. 2) Men don't approach me.

[@DavidMatias79]

It's true

[@frozenskies1718]

Translation: 1) Men I'm not interested in approach me. 2) Men I'm interested in don't approach me.

[@DavidMatias79]

@@frozenskies1718 verily

[@WaddyMuters]

Exactly. When are men supposed to approach women? I have heard literally every single public space where strangers meet described as a no go place to approach women, by women.

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

No my definition of incel is the most accurate and backed by data. First, let's look at my definition of incel. Incel: A single male that is not in a long-term loving relationship with a partner that THEY find attractive. They may or may not have kids. These men are likely to be excess men of low social and financial standing. But due to our Darwinian high pressure, society...."more above average men" are finding themselves locked out of having a long-term loving relationship. This is what will cause society to destabilise and fall in quality and safety. Indeed, we are seeing it NOW already. And these men will either check out or become destructive. Both are not good news for society in terms of economic, social, and security reasons. Remember, the media and even others are not correct about what an incel is. It's not about just getting "3ex"......its realising that you have been unable to find a long-term loving, mutually validating relationship with a partner that YOU find attractive. My question to the world is this..... If a man IS IN a long-term loving relationship with a partner that THEY find attractive and they have kids. And that man is close to his parents and relatives and family, kids and friends. If he does a job that may not earn him all the money in the world. But it's enough to get his family by in dignity, and he finds purpose in that line of work. And that man is respected in HIS family, community........ TELL ME HOW MANY MEN LIKE THIS DO YOU FIND COMMITTING CRIMES, RIOTING, LOOTING???? THEY ARE THE PILLERS OF A STABLE SOCIETY. Now, "chads" that trun a lot of plates and have a lot of options are not strictly speaking incels, providing they don't have prolonged dry spells between "relationships".....but make no mistake these men are not necessarily destructive like incels, but are ultimately unfulfilled.....they are not as happy/stable as the man I described above. And that's all these is to know on the matter..... Peace

[@tgheretford]

Women told men not to approach them in public places if they don't know them. There is now a push for new laws to deal with unwanted communication and attention from men both online and in real life. Police are now being stationed in nightclubs and online dating apps will have a legal duty to protect women's safety from said behaviour. That's why men are not approaching women. One person feeling offended or the "ick" could destroy a man's life. Never used to be the case.

[@kc1973able]

Fking crazy fk up world. I’m a 50 year old married man. Glad I missed this Death

[@lennard5393]

Stop being paranoid

[@SithicusPL]

@@lennard5393 It's not paranoia, it's healthy self-preservation.

[@fnordiumendures138]

@@lennard5393 Why? Even if the fear of being shamed and prosecuted is exaggerated, look at what created it. Think about the sex hostile and/or male hostile attitude that women would need to have for them to support all this so wholeheartedly. Why would I WANT a woman who is afraid of men and sex? Or who is traumatized from previous encounters? Or who feels disgust towards men whom she deems beneath her? It's all wholly unattractive.

[@averagejoe7860]

no girl is getting offended if you approach with a friendly smile and some manners. this isnt a legit excuse, its cowardice

[@OlivePittsOnDesk]

I had just begun seeing a woman when at a dance, another man respectfully approached her, and her ugly response to him was so hateful I never called her again. Her friends later asked my why I dumped her, I told them her true character had been clearly exposed.

[@WillieFungo]

Society needs to leave young men alone, tbh. I remember around a decade ago when guys were doing the pickup artist thing and everyone was shaming young men for being harassers. Now everyone is shaming young men for not approaching. Leave men alone, damn. It's just non-stop attacks.

[@baskey3723]

Ofc thats all on the internet

[@gf6x3gkmfw38]

The pick-up thing was incredibly creepy and manipulative. People into that shit should be shamed.

[@WillieFungo]

@@gf6x3gkmfw38 Cool. Then people shouldn't start shamming men into bringing it back. Approaching culture is dead, and society should move on.

[@coldones9505]

@@gf6x3gkmfw38 This word 'creepy' has runs its course. Its 2024, time to expand your vocabulary.

[@JewTube001]

@@gf6x3gkmfw38 i think it's was mostly the same handful of PUA guys that were creepy and everyone would focus on them. the one I followed was a very tame and boring guy (Eben / David DeAngelo)

[@ethanonan7709]

To fix this issue society either needs to either increase incentives for relationships or reduce risks for relationships to work. Preferably a bit of both.

[@jamewakk]

That's not the problem. The problem is if she doesn't like you she will see you as a creep or shame you. And that's to much of a gamble for a young man today.

[@endgamefond]

What do you think is the incentives that is greater than the cost?

[@check4v]

Japan has a ton of marriage incentives and they have an even worse problem of people not getting married than America and the UK do.

[@kevinpankanin6222]

Almost like our society should encourage heterosexual marriages which lead to family units. Hmmm. What a novel idea

[@Jay1971lion]

I’m my view, one of the reasons is the high cost of marriage and family, divorce and the unbearable cost of childcare. We do have economic tools to increase the viability of starting a family. I’m looking at what we can do over an idealized actions.

[@brushstroke3733]

I'm 46 and have approached women maybe 5 times in my life. I'm a quick learner, unfortunately, so it only took a few rejections to train me away from ever doing it again.

[@alterego157]

It's just a conversation. But you build up some wild fantasies and expectation in your head and turn it into a question of life and death for your ego. Just go into it without any expectation, have fun, have a conversation. That's all.

[@brushstroke3733]

@@alterego157 You're exactly right. Well said. But these days, most women that I'm attracted to don't seem to have any interest in anything that interests me. I'll try to be more positive and keep trying though.

[@samcurtisrobinson]

Would be interested to know the type of women you approached and how you went about it. All these things will hugely effect your outcomes

[@samcurtisrobinson]

@@brushstroke3733so you need to be looking at why you want women who have no mutual interests. You don’t have to necessarily have common interests with women you like. There will be multiple factors at play

[@DavianSinner]

If at first you don't succeed, try again. If you then don't succeed, give up. There's no point in making a fool of yourself. I heard that once and have stuck by it.

[@MasaFinn]

I've never felt loved by a woman. Not even when I was in a relationship. I just think they're not capable of it. They are constantly looking to trade up and they act like their presence is a gift to you.

[@WhirlingMusic]

Bet you there are some men reading the title of this video and thinking to themselves, "Wait men aren't asking women out anymore? Maybe now I finally have a chance if I approach women since they aren't getting asked out anymore". Then they get rejected.

[@bloodymares]

Most actors get rejected 100 times after audition before they are hired. Approaching girls is no different from said auditions. Sometimes they'll say "We're going to contact you" but don't, but sometimes you'll get an excited response because you happened to be the right person in the right place in the right time. Every rejection is an XP boost.

[@patrioticaussiesams8581]

Yep

[@PaperStCo]

A women can have a great conversation with you one day, and the next day look at you like you’re a fool for talking to her (personal experience). Literally just depends how she’s feeling that day.

[@jonevans870]

Yeah, it’s weird. I actually do approach women in public. Sometimes I get dates from it. But the amount of times I have met a woman and she seems to be really digging it, flirting, asking me questions, looking excited. They seem enchanted. And then when you text them later, they are just lukewarm at best. It’s like they can’t hold on to whatever excitement or interest they felt. And that's fine, nobody owes you interest. But women sure are strange and fickle creatures!

[@Ben-Ken]

That's why it's best not to flirt or be overly friendly at work. All it takes is a vague complaint from her to HR and you can lose promotions or your job. I've seen it happen too many times.

[@PaperStCo]

@@Ben-Ken agreed. I work at a bar and I don’t even bother trying to be flirty. It’s very tempting but just flat out not worth it.

[@PaperStCo]

@@jonevans870 yup! Honestly I think it’s social media and phones. As soon as you aren’t in front of her all she has to do is pull out her phone for instant gratification from dozens of other men. You just become another crab in the bucket.

[@jonevans870]

@@PaperStCo yeah, probably that’s a big part of it. I also think a lot of women just like leading men on. They are more interested in validation than in actually meeting people, it seems.

[@moviesynopsis001]

Juice aint worth the squeeze. If it all pays off and I "win" and we get married, then I am at the whim of her mood swings.

[@M0viLover]

You want a divorce? Why?? What did I do wrong? - Nothing ..; I just need a change. I'm bored.

[@caucasianafrican1435]

​@@M0viLoverAnd You still LO$E

[@tonyadams8812]

💯

[@macdonald2k]

Just say no to being an inkwell ATM.

[@M4dM4n96]

​@@caucasianafrican1435 and... AND it was also your fault

[@bribri1657]

Ive had women walk up to me, conversate, be very polite, flip their hair, glance my way repeatedly, and even after ALL that most still claimed that wasn't flirting and they didn't mean anything by it when I tried to take it a step further. Men aren't oblivious to these so called signs because they usually AREN'T signs of anything!

[@peterfigueroa4570]

I’ve been told by a couple of women that having someone looking at them or approach them in public is creepy….then proceeded to get on a dating website. 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@mrconfusion87]

Translation: "If we find the guy ugly, it is creepy! If we find the guy hot, it is flirting!" 🤣🤣🤣

[@Nabagabo22]

Hmmm... Dating sites allow Ladies time and space to check out the talent without commitment, and give a considered Like. A direct approach means direct response - and being caught unawares. A ship doesn't just bang into the ground - that'll create massive damage on both sides - instead maneuvers gently alongside the pier before throwing lines of attachment out...

[@seven8519]

​@@Nabagabo22 dating sites are the mcdonalds of dating. quick, unhealthy, and a mistake. they are used primarily for one night stands and hookups. this isn't something that can be argued, it is fact.

[@thehoxtontrend]

or set up an only fans and get paid for it instead lols

[@midasthestallion4105]

They say "if opportunity doesn't knock, build a door". If the ladies are upset that men aren't out here approaching, rather then blaming men either ask men what will get them to approach and make the necessary adjustments OR approach a guy you like and shoot your shot. Be the stunning and brave ladies the media proclaims you to be! 😮😊

[@mfawls9624]

🤣🤣🤣 Brutal takedown

[@uhnborhn5032]

Women take ownership of anything? 🤣

[@reedmckinney7426]

Lol never gonna happen. They love DOING the rejecting, they could not possibly TAKE the rejection.

[@RagTag-N-Bobtail]

At this point, I see no alternatives. The insane amount of courage we had to work up to just ask the girl was enough to deal with... _now_ we have these cut-throat political and social boundaries to break through on top of that..... Traditional women who are victims of the current sexual market climate would have much better chance at approaching... And, on behalf of men, I'd say we'd be stunned and honored; we might stand a little taller under the weight of Clown World....... The _most_ that would happen is a soft let-down; surely never a "beat it, creep" episode.

[@M0viLover]

Ha, ha. Good luck with *that!* I've seen quite a few videos of w0men complaining on Bumble, that men don't initiate (more). Uh, it is website *designed* for w0men to initiate contact?!

[@schroederluck7984]

Because women only want to be approached by attractive guys, and men have wised up to this. Most guys who know they aren’t attractive have given up, and a lot of normal, average men have also given up, as the effort required isn’t worth the end result of having to deal with a modern woman. All the super attractive men now are just living on easy mode. They don’t have to approach to get women because women’s increasing expectations have funneled themselves straight to the most handsome men.

[@thekey429]

I was not very physically attractive in my teens and early 20s (always always with lots of acne) and I got laid a lot by approaching women; I just had GAME. Learn bro; or watch yourself become bitter

[@jonnjones8263]

@@thekey429 Or he could just learn not to be bitter. It's not like he needs women to be happy. I'd be more concerned about men being successful in life and becoming wealthy.

[@kirkbespokeify]

@@thekey429how tall or short are you?

[@themodfather9382]

It took an extremely long time to wise up. The pickup artist became popularized again in 2005 with neil strauss' book the game. before that, 99% of people really only had TV. It took almost 20 years to put facts about hypergamy up on the internet...

[@fasteddy9312]

​@@thekey429Did you consider your "GAME" made you attractive?

[@zrebbesh]

I used to give casual compliments, like "I like your outfit," or "you have awesome hair" or whatever. Didn't mean much besides me thinking they had a nice outfit, or great hair, or whatever, and I'd usually just keep walking or shopping or whatever I was doing instead of trying to start a conversation or anything. But I still kept running into women who were creeped out, or who felt like they immediately had to tell me they were already dating someone (heck, so was I...) or whatever. I don't give casual compliments any more.

[@stevec3526]

Men aren’t approaching due to Hoeflation. It is that simple.

[@Grail_Knight]

You attract what you are, if you want more women with integrity you need to become more chaste yourself, chastity develops our higher faculties, connects us to God, and builds our aura (our subtle energy field). Women, who are subconscious in nature, are extremely receptive to chastity and will become irrationaly attracted to you when you have retained your sexual energy for a long time.

[@martindmunro]

​@@Grail_Knightwomen also possess immense "female intuition" yet every ex is supposedly a narcissistic psychopath😉

[@TheHumanRanger]

@@martindmunroHalf of what a women usually say is BS. Like they got to have some ritual and drink some potion and ask the stars what they should do that day, and then if it goes wrong then they blame men but if it goes right then they say the universe and God loves them. How the hell is that supposed to work?

[@vincentkeller4725]

​@@Grail_Knightget on down the road with this rubbish mate!

[@DustinPrice-wz9xf]

No, not at all. Hoey women misrepresent themselves all the time, and they commonly aim much higher than what they should expect to lock down. Bunch of 2s thinking they are 10s.

[@mrmf613]

When I was a kid growing up in the 80s, all kids had some common ground where they met in neighborhood groups and played together. That was the beginning of romantic encounters in teen years. That all seems to have disappeared primarily with females focused almost exclusively on cell phones and social media. I think this was very destructive to male-female relationships.

[@tetedur377]

I grew up in the '50s and '60s. It was a running joke about women and telephones. I mean, my earliest recollections are of old-fashioned, wall-mounted telephones with a fixed mouthpiece and a separate ear piece on a cord. Even in those days, that's what women did: gossip on the phone. If you needed to make a phone call, not only did all of your neighbors get to listen in, but you had to ask them to break up the party so you could get through to the operator so she could connect you to the doctor or the vet, or whoever. In the latter part of the '50s and through the '60s, the teenage girl and her tying up the phone for hours (and later, her princess phone surgically attached to her) became standard gag material.

[@Sixsoul]

Smart phones ruined EVERYTHING

[@nateoliver3285]

To be fair guys are also into it. I suspect that most of that is because women are into it so they have to play that game to get a girl.

[@luisdetomaso867]

No mention of males focused almost exclusively on video games?

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

​@@luisdetomaso867 You're getting it wrong, males focused on video games often times is the effect of women ignoring them, not the cause. Just like how many guys turn to alcohol/drinks to numb pain and depression, most guys turn to video games as a substitute for lack of romantic affection/attention from women. This is the main reason. If these guys weren't invisible to women, most of them wouldn't spend majority of their time on video games.

[@obud3777]

"A Man can be himself only as long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free." - Arthur Schoppenhauer -

[@gumdeo]

Wise words.

[@andrebaxter4023]

Weak.

[@obud3777]

@@andrebaxter4023 Anyone who calls Arthur Schopenhauer weak has absolute no clue about psychology.

[@nathanielknight1838]

the man lived alone with a poodle...

[@brentrosencrans3968]

@@nathanielknight1838 sounds good to me!

[@AldershotDave]

It's so hard for guys nowadays. You can't tell a woman she looks nice, you can't tell a woman that she's beautiful, she cant ask a woman out at work, you cant go to talk to a woman in a pub/club. If you do any of the aforementioned things, you get accused of being a pervert, a weirdo, hassling a woman, sexualising a woman, scaring a woman, endangering a woman!! JEESH!!

[@TonyZoster]

I don'T live in the US. I am an older man and in a shop one day out of the blue I complimented a lady on her hairdo which I said to her looked lovely. She smiled and thanked me for my compliment. Well I am a widower and the lady's hairdo reminded my of my wife who always took good care of her hair which was something I enjoyed when I looked at her. I am not sure whether a young woman would react like this mature lady did. Perhaps the younger women of today never learned there are also king men in the world who still know the Art of complimenting. There is more to life than sex which is a rather primitive form of enjoyment.

[@TonyZoster]

Correction: Kind men not king men.

[@captchaos6870]

Woman tried to stop me on my bike, possibly looking for help with something, judging by her expression. I put on an extra burst of speed. Not worth the risk.

[@younggold1416]

😭😭

[@Hoggar3]

Damn 💀

[@szn1580]

Lmao I’m dying

[@redjacc7581]

That was such a great term "the blast radius of dressing in revealing clothes" they are sending out signals to ALL men not just the one they like.

[@perpetualprocrastinator]

exactly

[@zibbitybibbitybop]

Phenomenonal choice of words, Louise is so great as a speaker. I'ma remember that phrase and use it whenever this topic comes up later.

[@Rick_Cleland]

Maximilian!?? I thought you were inside the black hole!!

[@stephanieesea]

Nope. Still not for all men. L

[@duxliberty7593]

BIG logical problem. A woman LOOKING GOOD to me is not the same as a woman SIGNALLING me. Wow fancy that..

[@user-bt2kp9uo1w]

When the problem is me there's no hesitation in blaming men, when the problem women, it's oh no no no. This is another session of moving the goal posts. The behaviour, attitude, language, privileges, policies, predudice and laws that protect women, are the problem. When solving a problem only allows accountability on one half of the problem, it won't work.

[@Yeetus223]

When the western human female is literally the pickiest mate selector in the known universe

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@ralphfurley4217Yeah and he's one of the 9/10 guys so it's easy for him to say "Men do better", he is literally the archetype for the kind of man that women throw themselves at on dating apps.

[@user-kl3eo4vw3z]

Although I think your assumption is correct, I fear that female preferential treatment is partly of genetical / evolutionary source, not only by society / learned behaviour.

[@johnmac333]

Great post , u-b , so true .!

[@ashleyalexander7388]

its always our fault, that's why more men are just doing their thing. expectations of to be perfect kind reader.

[@bumpedli]

"Traditions are experiments that worked" - I had to press pause and go for a short walk at that line, omg.

[@barbarbarabar9097]

But they worked in traditional societies, maybe not in post modern and post industrial ones...

[@ValerieTarico]

The problem is that population and technology and what we know about the world around us keep changing. What worked for our ancestors or even our parents may not work now. A quote attributed to Darwin is this: " It is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that…is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment.”

[@user-wb5rj5jf5d]

@@barbarbarabar9097 Post industrial society simply doesn't work. Hence why everything goes up, besides wages. "Money machine go brrrr" isn't a system, its self-deletion. The system your referring to is Banker-Cartel which we openly fought to protect in WW2 after defeating the Confederates who tried to warned us about it right here at home. Made our bed, time to lay in it. Constitutional republics work, cause they are by the normal people, for the normal people. ZOG nations don't work cause its by the normal people, for Israel. The people who put in, never get a return, cause it all gets sent to Ukraine to fund more anti-white wars. Traditional ALWAYS WORKS by definition. IT COULDN'T exist otherwise. Starvation will NEVER be a tradition, which is why communism will never be traditional ideology. Its permanently "Progressive" or anti-traditional. Nobody is writing down how to burn chicken in a cookbook.

[@KpxUrz5745]

I thought that line was incredibly uninteresting.

[@TheRealPDizzle]

It's a platitude really.

[@snoglydox]

. *A problem is past history; most women are used to men responding positively, while most men are use to women responding negatively.*

[@JacobStein1960]

Marriage. I've heard about that. It's the thing where you have a little ceremony, buy a house, have a couple of babies and then after a few years when the wife is having some kind of emotional breakdown you are kicked out of the house, cut off from your children but most of your paycheck still goes to your ex. That's an amazing deal. Men are rushing like mad to take advantage of that arrangement. Not.

[@tricatame7427]

You are the reason she is having an emotional breakdown and wants to kick u out. No woman ever kicked out a man who acted like a real man. No man complained a woman taking his stuff if he was a true alpa giver generous and fatherly soul. Only the weak men who only have crumbs to offer both materialistically and emotionally, whine about having to be the giver. You sow what u reap w women. Alwsys. You plant shit in her grounds, she ll give you fruits of mysery.

[@Yoshi-Mooch]

I’m ugly and have been married 11 years today. I don’t have children. Marriage is what you make it!

[@andrewpizzino2514]

@@tricatame7427 wow how did you get so naïve?

[@tricatame7427]

@@andrewpizzino2514 not having witnesses it in real life, i went on internet to see recorded evidence of men protecting women, serving their purpose in the world. So few videos...most of which were men protecting women from other men. When we live in a world where we feel safer because thereis a man there and not less safe because a man is there, only then men will be worth marrying and keeping around.

[@maxwellanderson007]

@@tricatame7427it's always men's fault. LOL. Keep pushing it, you will see marriage rates improving in the other direction.

[@Quantum-ne7bc]

This topic has become like dissecting rocket science... No wonder why people aren't approaching each other. It's become so complicated that it's becoming more and more unappealing. It feels like an inorganic nightmare. At this point I'd rather stay single, work on myself and keep my health & sanity. Not to mention I literally know zero married couples that are happy and healthy. They all give me the impression that a huge part of them regrets getting married, having kids and that they envy the single life. I'm not opposed to being in a healthy relationship but there sure as hell doesn't seem to be a whole lot of incentive at this point in time.

[@marienmorand]

They are not happy cause they are not in love. They ve been pushed by society to follow the rule and get married with the first partner they 've met.

[@opposingshore9322]

I’m middle-aged and single (divorced) and nearly all of my married friends envy me. I’m having a great time meeting women, dating, pursuing my interests, holding off until I meet someone who clicks. If that doesn’t happen I’ll be fine, I feel very at peace inside and love my life. It’s a shame there is so much resentment, loneliness, and anger out there.

[@Marcustheseer]

ya keep things simple,if a guy approaches you give him a chance if you wanna know what youre dealing with then ask them what kind of person they are,if youre interested go on a date and find out more if youre not then just say you seem like a nice fella but am just not the girl for you be nice,you can keep talking but let a guy know where he stands. hek if you know a girl that might be for him then hook him up.

[@Thinker1985]

I am married with one child (7 years old). While I don't regret my trajectory in life, I readily admit that I do envy the single life. Like everything, married life with children has its ups and downs; the problem is that it is very difficult for a guy to achieve any sort of balance as your needs always come dead last, far behind those of your child and wife. Prepare to have very little agency except in how you do things (because a lot of 'what' you do will be chosen for you). Want to go out? If your wife allows it and after you put your kid to bed. Want to sleep in and lazily wake up and go straight to your computer to watch TV or play video games? That almost never happens. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but man, if you need some alone time, prepare to sleep a lot less because that's the only way you can have time for yourself.

[@ForeverRetro31]

Kramer was right. They’re man made prisons. Kramer, thou art wise.

[@mountainman88]

Praying Mantis wonders why it's so hard to find a date.

[@anthonyschroepfer5776]

It's because we're broke.

[@AfterbrunchDelight]

That's definitely one reason yes. Shit is too expensive these days, don't let anyone tell ya different. I'm working a full time decent job and a third of my money goes towards rent...and if I want to try to save for a house or anything, I can't be going out wasting money

[@slooowburnnn7702]

We also have to pay for most things and if we don’t we’re considered broke and undatable

[@multiplex123]

Also coz they're just a pain in the ass these days

[@Jamhael1]

FINALLY, SOMEONE HERE GOT IT!

[@Hazza101]

Lol speak for yourself

[@DahcipheR]

From recent experiences, there are a few reasons: (1) The mass demonization of cold approaching over the years has talked me, amoung others, right out of doing it. (2) Dating apps are hell. (3) In areas of personal interest, worthwhile women are either already taken or few and far between. (4) Did I mention that dating apps are hell?

[@vladimirofsvalbard9477]

Well, humans are extremely abusive with power. The ability to report a guy to a YMCA front desk (simply for saying hi) is 'power'. Modern technology has given people a sense of total immunity and anonymity; this ONLY promotes more abuses of power. Not to mention people are lacking major 'meaning' in their lives It's easy to fill that void with contempt and narcissism.

[@hgff69]

True that brother

[@rogerreynolds5822]

Right there with you bro

[@Kaizan27]

There was a time where women were mysterious and complicated creatures, now thanks to social media we can see how predictable and simple they really are

[@stephanieesea]

So not true

[@loveyourketo1433]

That actually made me think, I’m a woman. I think you may have a point

[@loveyourketo1433]

Not all of us though, I’m not on social media 😊 there’s hope

[@marienmorand]

​@@loveyourketo1433 being on social media doesnt turn you into a cheap and dull woman. I think its a good way to find the right man through the same values , political views and way of life

[@loveyourketo1433]

@@marienmorand no not what I’m saying. The transparency is interesting new factor and thought. Haven’t thought about that. Sadly know many women with a distorted man/dating pov. Obsessive and prime target. Target achieved never leave the house again. He’s right it used to be better hidden but they’ve always been there. I think social media not only exposed that but also is obviously not healthy on so many levels for personal relationships and ego

[@IDuBStepSZ]

I think men can read social cues of woman being attracted to them, but most of the subtle social cues that women give, have multiple meanings. So most men will assume that instead of her wanting to go out with you, etc. that she's just being friendly. Women also give signals that are confusing quite often, this is something that I've had experience with.

[@rrmackay]

Imagine that, relationships are based on your family and friends introducing you to a good partner. The exact opposite of what we do in America today, meeting total strangers with no references, no background, nobody who knows their history or behavior..

[@DanielH874]

I would be much more comfortable with that arrangement. At least then someone you know and trust can vouch for the person you will be seeing. Going in blind with so much on the line absolutely terrifying.

[@raze956]

family and friends introducing you is only great if you are passive. for the more active ones of us, this sounds terrible. i want to have the control about with whom im interacting with, i chose who i approach and who i will not. no need for others to do the work that is my responsibility. but if you are too fearful and never approach at all then yeah, i get why you might want this. its still a terrible mindset and should be overcome. basing your wishes off of fear will not make you grow. at all.

[@randomisedrandomness]

All I got was weird looks and bewildered questions "why don't you have a girldfriend yet??" oh and accusations of being gay if I go out with my male friends.

[@raze956]

@@randomisedrandomness how often did you try?

[@DanielH874]

Being fearful is valid when so much is on the line. If family and friends could speak highly of someone's character that would increase the odds of that statement being true. My judgement + family/friends judgement. The idea is to reduce the chances of getting financially destroyed.

[@manfrombritain6816]

this is like 5% of the issue. the main reason I don't approach women is cos (a) dating apps have made me feel so unattractive, and (b) women are always in large groups, usually where the gender ratio is heavily skewed towards male. it's very difficult to go chat to a girl when she's most likely with her boyfriend already AND 5 orbiters we're often told to meet people through hobbies. well. i asked a girl from my martial arts gym out for a drink and she said yes but then got extremely flaky. i vented my frustration on reddit - the frustration of not being treated like a human being. I don't mind if she wasn't into it, but i do mind her not just being honest and instead hoping I'd get the message from her being rude. well, reddit being reddit, i got hundreds of responses saying i should never hit on a girl in a gym, i probably made her feel unsafe (!?) harassed her, I'm a creep etc The funny thing is I acted like it was no big deal and we have been friendly ever since and have fun banter. all she had to do was just be honest and respect me as a person but girls almost always try to fob you off like some kind of pest

[@jonevans870]

Reddit is the worst. Their advice will always boil down to ‘do nothing’. I actually think as a man you have to risk ruffling some feathers occasionally. And give yourself permission to be ‘creepy’. The only way to never be ‘creepy’ is to never talk to any women, and that won’t end well for you.

[@swedishpagan2150]

​@@jonevans870 Spot on, but do try to not shit where you eat.

[@fluoroantimonictippedcruis1537]

@@swedishpagan2150 And by that you mean at work?

[@swedishpagan2150]

@@fluoroantimonictippedcruis1537 Pretty much yes but could include other places aswell where appearing creepy Will put a huge cost on your lifestyle

[@samcurtisrobinson]

The thing with this mate is that many people won’t tell you the truth because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s just the way it is, all you need to do is look for enthusiasm. If she’s in to you she’ll make definite plans with you and it’ll feel effortless. If not, move on to someone who’s worth your time. Attraction is not a choice

[@joea363]

It is not a matter of low Emotional Intelligence or being oblivious to signs of receptivity. It is a matter of not trusting the sign being given.

[@drewashington5001]

Glad someone else caught her saying this her perception and stigma on men’s eq sounds so dehumanizing

[@michaelowens5813]

My thing is, i spent most of my time in middle and high school (26 now) being a fiend, trying everything i could do to get a girlfriend to no avail. After years of that rejection. I ended up getting into a relationship that lasted for 2 years but ended over a text message. It's just not worth the hassle anymore. I just want to finally be at peace with myself and be content living a life of solitude.

[@russianbot4418]

I'm Gen X and I have been through many relationships and they all ended with the gal trying to turn me into someone I hate and then getting mad at me for refusing to comply.

[@C0Y0TE5]

Yer all grown up fast. An old man now. Welcome.

[@C0Y0TE5]

@@russianbot4418 maybe try some growing up..? U know, change?

[@russianbot4418]

@@C0Y0TE5 Change what exactly? Having standards?

[@xannecorinnex]

How come it ended?

[@DefaultFlame]

The best advice I could give to teenage girls is to dress and behave the way you want to be perceived, but remember that you will be perceived that way by EVERYONE who sees you not just the person you want to see you.

[@Francois424]

I would tell them to wear dresses or long skirts. There's absolutely no need to wear very tight clothes that reveals anything and everything the have to offer. Make the guys you're interested in EARN that right to see these parts of you. And you don't send "the wrong signal"... But hey I'm a guy wth do I known right?

[@DefaultFlame]

@@Francois424 That was kinda my point. If you want to be seen a certain way by one person, then dress and behave that way only for that one person, not for the entire world to see.

[@Volkbrecht]

Plus, a good figure will look good in any clothes. See it at work all the time. No need to run around half-naked.

[@Francois424]

@@VolkbrechtExactly ! And you'll attract the kind of dudes that appreciate it too ! 🙂

[@sofiabravo1994]

@@Volkbrechtall these suggestions are wholesome, I’m not a teenage girl I’m close to 30 but this exactly what her dad and I are instilling our daughters, wish I would have known better growing up. I’m setting the example now! I dress vintage because it’s not too revealing but still feminine! I want all girls to see you can look beautiful without compromising and self exploitation.

[@davida730]

I take my dog to the park and commonly get approached by women. Even when they approach first and I'm interested its just not worth the risk of rejection/me too. I know ladies like for the man to take charge but that is simply riskier than ever in the current environment.

[@averagejoe7860]

bro how are fumbling the bag rn. if you put on a smile and have some manners, girls aren't gonna get offended

[@VaronPlateando]

yeah, and j.o.m.o. can, and needs to, be appreciated, sincerily. the likelyhood of any hetero 1-vs-1 encounter to lead to else than pain-in-arse is about 1.5%. Simple probability maths, btw. Abundance thinking: almost all xx.s are to be avoided.

[@dbmdrums1105]

​@@averagejoe7860exactly what is the smile?

[@davida730]

@@averagejoe7860 I live in a city with an extremely liberal university. I was once honked at while going for a run and some girl made the comment "That's what its like to be a woman." I do just fine on the apps but simply would rather not deal with the potential fall out of meeting in public. Age is also a big concern. With how far make up has come good luck telling if that girl is 17 or 25.

[@tbd407]

@@mickethegoblin7167he's 100% correct

[@genericchannel5899]

Wow. "Men don't pick up on my signals, so they're obviously inept!" "What signals did you send?" "I touched my hair when I was talking to him." lolwut?!

[@frankjrock]

It’s crazy to think this is an issue that many countries are facing. I used to think it was only in my area. I’m glad the dynamics are being discussed.

[@momosgarage]

This entire conversation hinges on young people having intact families and people in their communities that have a vested interest in both their short and long term successes. For people that don’t have the above, every interaction, job interview, flirtation, request for assistance or outreach for a colleagues help is a gamble. Some choose to never gamble, while other become so accustomed to rejection that they lose all fear of it happening and just keep pushing, no matter the consequences. Most people aren’t interested in your small individual successes, don’t help outsiders gain acceptance, and refuse to fulfill requests for help, no matter how small, especially for people that don’t have a “community” or “intact family” to bridge their acceptance into a job, marriage, dates or even to just get guidance and help at work.

[@jimj2683]

You need to push your comfort zones. This has always been hard. There is no real risk to pursuing women and success. Worst that happens is someone says no.

[@TawaraboshiGenba]

The point is that this disinterest of your closest community and even family in your life and success is a modern thing, and in fact only in the Western world. In the rest of the world, it’s still the case that you exist in a community that aids in your success and punishes you for your deviation from the traditions and morals of that society. And in the western world it used to be this way in the past, too. But due to selfishness, individualism, social media, loss of traditional values, etc. it’s not this way anymore, so you’re on your own.

[@FourthExile]

This year I've been regularly going to church (yes I know, some people may eye roll (which I guess is part of the problem)) and found a basic sense of community and fellowship. It's nothing spectacular or multi-faceted but has done wonders for a sense of wellbeing. I used to be like a lot of people who implicitly think they're above such communities/don't need them. It takes a bit of humility and patience to be accepted in, two things in relatively short supply these days IMO Going to mass and chatting with one or two people is a far superior way to start the day than sitting in your room doomscrolling. People need you as well, you're not an island, you can be a source of meaning and goodness to others. And put simply, all you have to do is show up.

[@jimdavis8391]

​@jimj2683 Yes, however there is risk. That's why you do it, without risk nothing is worthwhile....but you must be aware of the dangers that risk entails. Women are quite capable of causing immense damage to men through gossip, slander and blackmail.

[@seancooper5140]

​@@jimj2683 You say there is "no real risk", but is there any reward either? Many of us aren't interested in shallow or short term interactions, and don't see any potential reward in cold approaching random women, so it's less about fear than about seeing no upside.

[@daveg4417]

When I was in my 20's back in the 1980's, before the online and cellphone revolution, everyone that I knew who was my age met their romantic partners through groups that hung out together. From 2012 to 2017 while in my 50's, I tried online dating, since most people stay home now and meet online, and with more than 100 cold approaches and 25+ dates, the women all told me they wouldn't have a relationship with me for a wide variation of reasons that they actually said, but that all boiled down to because I'm not 6 foot+ tall, I don't make $100k+, my car isn't expensive enough or my house isn't fancy enough (read further in the comments for some exact examples of what the women said to me). Hypergamy really hit in over the past couple of decades. I even tried Tinder and got no matches. I'm not exaggerating. I think I have a lot to offer, but 50+ aged women don't think so. So I stopped approaching women in 2017, and I haven't dated anyone since then, I fully expect to be alone until my death in 30+ years. I totally believe the stats on men not approaching.

[@christopherhazell420]

That's been my experience to an extent, seeking to meet women online. In person, well, many times, one would think I was on a Candid Camera skit. Some situations have been ludicrous, while others had no interest in even carrying on a conversation with me. A few were married, just not wearing their ring while exercising. My last relationship was in 2018 & lasted approximately 4 months with single mom, who is one year older than i. Her child is grown & serving the military. But that was certainly not the problem for us. Her lack of functioning in a relationship sabotaged us.

[@manifest2203]

Actually marriage and relationships happen to men across all socio economic levels. But the thing is, dating older men has no benefit for any woman. Younger women prefer virile younger men. Older women prefer to be single over being in a relationship because most men are dependents who will nag endlessly for things like his food, his laundry, s3x, his medical follow ups and so much more. Older women want less work, but most men don’t do anything but bring more work. If a woman wants to avoid stress, she has to be single.

[@daveg4417]

I'm 5'8", I make $70k a year and increasing every year, I have no debt and $100k in Savings and even more in my RSP's, I own my home and car, my net worth is $1 Mill+. I work out daily, I sauna a few times a week, I'm not obese, I own my own small software company, I'm a good cook and I keep my place clean. Yet to women, I don't hit the "magical" 6+ foot tall and $100k a year that they demand for minimum entry just to be in their presence, so that disqualifies me even if I were a good guy. They won't even give five minutes to get to know you. So I have zero empathy for any of them. And I just stopped looking all together. Sure, I've had obese older 65 year old women who showed a lot of interest, but if I can't get equal to what I bring to the table, then I just pass. Hypergamy. Women want more and more every year.

[@chriscampbell9191]

Most of the women I met online already had partners, which is actually backed up statistically -- 30% of people using dating sites have a partner already (not so sure about the stats on hookup apps). They were looking for something on the side, or just looking to get their egos inflated. One or the other. Some were bots.

[@daveg4417]

@@chriscampbell9191 - I think that a lot of the women that I dated were just using me for a Foodie Call. They were all pleasant up front, but then dismissive as soon as the cheque was paid.

[@philipcallado5693]

There’s a reason why MGTOW and Going Monk are things. I had this convo with a coworker last night, and while I’m definitely not going to turn down sex or stop talking to girls, if I feel like I have to chase or work for a girl’s affections I won’t even bother. I’m just locked in on my own life, especially my health and finances.

[@ricksazama]

Imagine going back In time and telling your grandpa that one day every women will have a little black box in their pocket and they talk to any guy they want whenever they want in the whole entire world. I stopped dating when I realized the girls I were dating were never single to begin with

[@kodidane5824]

It's like Jordan Peterson says, girls dress and act like a one night stand and get confused why guys treat them like a one night stand. If you want to have a relationship with a guy, you have to act like a woman worth having a relationship with.

[@TokyoTaisu]

Women don't want relationships. They want alfa seed and beta... oh wait they already got a job. So just alfa seed it is.

[@TopFlightSecurity415]

the issue with that is women who dress and act like that are fighting to be treated the same as a saint , they say goofy shit like " it shouldn't matter how i dress and act you should still treat me with respect"

[@kodidane5824]

​@@TopFlightSecurity415 Yep, those women are stupid. At least they're easy to spot and run away from.

[@amateruss]

@@TopFlightSecurity415 Just stop playing their game, bro...

[@MounirTachinardi]

I always ask myself: What has the person done to deserve the approach? Remember, nothing is free.

[@beersmoker4444]

100% Fact.

[@a.s.1.2]

I'm in the "good looks and fit" category (for the context) and I've tried online dating, been out on like 5-10 dates in a few months and met diverse minds and personalities, in a big city so international girls including, paid for all those meals etc so that's not an issue. Some of these girls had all kinds of emotional issues and lack of confidence etc, of course they had good traits as well. It didn't work out for various reasons. So I decided to go out and say hello in person in a park, in a shopping mall, even on the street. You guys have to understand that it is normal that not everyone is attracted to you, not everyone wants a boyfriend/partner, some girls are taken, etc etc. If a girl doesn't want to see you again, it doesn't mean that this is your fault, or that you are not attractive etc etc. Keep it real, be nice and polite, ask her for a coffee on another occasion, "it's that simple". Some girls didn't give me their number, some even said they appreciated my compliment, some girls did gave me their numbers. In the end, I asked a girl for her number in the morning whilst going to the office, she gave it, we texted the whole first day, then we went out for dinner, and now we are happily married. If you lack confidence, try to get it, don't focus on the excuses, focus on the solution. The more energy and time you put into something, the more results you will get. It wasn't easy asking for all those numbers in person, I even wanted to talk to a girl, but she was with a friend, so that's an odd one, I even took a different train to say hello to a girl, fkin go and get it 😆

[@PatronHall]

You have to see the other side and understand why most men don’t see it as worth the effort.

[@tryhardor]

All men are only one word, one sentence, or one conversation, away from being sued for sexual harassment.

[@User40919]

Yep

[@CelestialWoodway]

I'm Generation X, 53 years old. Bars were very much a way to meet people and hook up. That was the whole point of getting a little buzzed or drunk. Lose your fears and inhibitions and go say hello to a pretty girl. And people played video games since the 1980s as well. Play Nintendo all day then go out Friday and Saturday night, drink and try and take someone home. There was no Internet back then, people were itching to get out of the house and blow off steam with loud music, dancing and alcohol. It was a funner and better way of life actually. Most people weren't obsessed with politics. Having a good time was the common goal of most people. You can see that culture in so many 80s movies.

[@fuzzypanda1684]

The most frustrating part is that you hear about people going out to the bars and hooking up all the time. But then you go out to the bar, walk around, talk to people, flirt, dance etc. yet go home alone. Not just once or twice, but every single time. I've had times where I went out 2 or 3 nights a week for months on end, and went home alone every time. It gets tough to keep going out when you realize that tonight was your 47th night in a row going home alone. The pressure to NOT go home alone the next time is so powerful, it makes you desperate and all but guarantees that the next time you go out will be the 48th. Hearing your friends talk about how they pulled a girl an hour after arriving, then went back later that night and pulled another doesn't help your self confidence.

[@ForeverRetro31]

@@fuzzypanda1684just rent Home Alone

[@easportssucks4347]

You hit it on the head. Fun is dead, plain and simple. Everyone takes themselves way too seriously now. Life is all business. An entire generation of "corporate" personalities. Play dates, speed dating, dating apps.. all so business like. No wonder people are so miserable

[@spytechchronicles]

Large number of men and women have grown up losing battles they should not have lost and now we have given up on ourselves and we are miserable

[@zerofactor7871]

Most people trying to think up solutions for this make the critical mistake of distributing the blame for the fact that we've ended up here. Way too often I hear people saying things and then giving the caveat "but men do it too" - that doesn't help anyone. When you shed light on something that women are doing wrong, and it's almost exclusively a majority of women doing it, but you still give them the "out" by saying that it's an issue for both sexes instead of actually being honest about who's responsible. Throughout history, women always had more requirements and restrictions on their behavior than men and that's what formed the basis for the feminist movement - from the long view, this really is the first time in history when women are being allowed by the larger society to behave however they want with zero moral expectations. The only reason our society hasn't completely collapsed is because of how well we're doing economically. The industrial revolution (the work of men) was the only thing that created a situation where women could actually behave this way in the long term.

[@aligenc659]

I do still approach them and get rejected constantly. If you are not good looking, it is over - you have no chance..

[@jimdavis8391]

It's only a rejection if you were actually interested. You need to treat them as a mildly diverting distraction. Most women are dull after a short conversation.

[@loveyourketo1433]

You both need therapy

[@jimdavis8391]

@@loveyourketo1433 From some loopy leftist? Don't think so 😉

[@loveyourketo1433]

@@jimdavis8391 just so sad don’t you think? Sounds like giving up! It’s not about the looks! Not for me. Every man has something charming and interesting. If he’s in his power. Worth thinking about

[@loveyourketo1433]

@@jimdavis8391 of course some basic hygiene and body care helps

[@Obliv69]

they told men not to approach them and to just leave them alone to go about their business. now theyre complaining men dont approach them. you reap what you sow, ladies.

[@NameCallingIsWeak]

I approached a woman at work in "chat" ... turned her down ... she reported me to HR.

[@andrewgoodman4367]

As a man today in the west, if you get married and it doesn't work, your life is over. And we actually STILL wonder why young men don't want to marry? The mind boggles.

[@markbills4122]

I've been with enough women to know that I don't want to be around them anymore. Frankly, my life has never been better.

[@seb_travel]

Left my city to renovate a rural cottage, raise some food animals and quite literally go monk mode to get centered after a rough relationship. Nearly two years have passed and I just did my first big social event back in the city for Christmas. Plenty of catch up and back and forth with the lads, - that - was great. Good to see the boys. Solid feedback on how well I look - shared some of the beef I've raised. Cheers Lads! But the women (30-35 bracket) - they were - well, I'm content back on the property and not dealing with city women ever again. A week on and I'm still astounded with the level of narcissism, psychological plays, entitlement and loutish boss-bitch I had become enured too in previous years. Cold shower moment if ever. I really drank the kool-aid on modern women this past decade. Never again. In other news, lads bbq on the property end of Jan. Noice.

[@markbills4122]

@@seb_travel BBQ, bourbon and a bon fire.... I'm in! Good luck to you my friend

[@seb_travel]

@@markbills4122 Agreed. And you too, best for 2024.

[@tonyadams8812]

💯Exactly! Apart from an occasional 'cuddle' you don't actually *need a woman.

[@GjVj]

@@seb_travel Incoming call for you - it's the Based Department. No joke - that's the way to live. Godspeed!

[@letsgobrandon2523]

Society has to eliminate the unacceptable risks to men. It's not just me too, it's also divorce and family court. You can spend your life building something with your wife and she can take all of it, keep mooching off of you for child support and alamony, and run off with another guy to boot. Happens all the time. Young men have watched it happen to their fathers. End no fault divorce.

[@chriscampbell9191]

Won't ever happen, but yeah, that is definitely a problem. Men aren't stupid. Statistics indicate that most modern marriages fail, and in most of those failures the guy gets the bad end of the stick. And we're supposed to jump in headlong? Boomers, GenJonesers, GenXers, older Millennials did perhaps. These younger guys are faster learners.

[@PossibleBat]

It’s not mooching if you had a child with this person. It’s literally your responsibility to provide alimony. Keep the child and let her pay alimony.

[@ronbaxley8105]

Totally agree

[@letsgobrandon2523]

@@PossibleBat end no fault divorce, problem solved.

[@marienmorand]

Why do you get married then?

[@adoringfan1924]

21 year old young man here. I’ve started approaching women in person and now I only do that now. I don’t do the apps or anything I just got up and introduce myself. It’s been working a lot better for me.

[@FenrirFinance]

really? how many do you approach like per week or per month? How many numbers/igs have you gotten and/or dates? really curious tbh because it's been feeling hopeless

[@user-qi4lf1of1h]

It doesn't matter where or how to approach a woman)It matters who approaches.

[@batman5224]

My main problem is that I don’t have a lot of opportunities to interact with women. If you work from home, don’t online date, don’t go to church, and live in a semi-rural area, where are you supposed to meet people? Yes, I could hypothetically strike up a random conversation with a woman at Walmart. However, most men worry about being perceived as creepy, and rightfully so. It’s also difficult for me to pull conversation out of thin air when I don’t know anything about the person I’m speaking to. It’s also a fact that most women don’t want to be bothered while shopping, and even if we do by some miracle have a decent exchange, it’s highly doubtful she’ll trust me enough to give me her number. There’s also a high probability that she will already be married or in a relationship.

[@michaellombardi7766]

Exactly dude. I been saying the same thing forever.

[@christopherhazell420]

I have been attending church fellowship for decades, only met two ladies who were available to date. The other women who in attendance, that i spoke to were already dating, just divorced, only visiting or just not compatible, personality wise. Even ladies who say they are "christian" end up not actually being ones...

[@christopherhazell420]

I first attempted online dating in 2008, after seeking to date the old fashion way... This supposedly narrowed down who is single & interested in dating. Problem there, women ended up being DM overwhelming more than men, 10 to 1. Now I was competing against dozens of men versus cold turkey walking up to & talking to a lady in person. i did Interact with a few ladies via online, but did not get past the computer screen for obvious reasons. One being, attitude!

[@batman5224]

@@christopherhazell420 I spent two years messaging around two or three women a day. Nothing ever came of it. I got close to meeting some in person, but they ghosted me. I’ll never forget the time I spent an entire night messaging this woman only for her to tell me that she was just killing time.

[@restingsmirkface]

100%

[@midatlantic09]

Why aren't they approaching? Perhaps because the juice is no longer worth the squeeze. Men have likely analyzed the cost of pursuing women and the potential benefit of doing so, and have concluded that the likely return on investment isn't high enough. Generally, when the potential return on something is low, most people simply don't bother.

[@GjVj]

Precisely this. And, we keep telling them, but they just don't - won't - listen. LOL, you don't even need to be married, these days, to know exactly what it must feel like...

[@ZeeCaptainRon]

read The Book of Numbers, the analysis has been done and the answers are bleak.

[@SaintMatthieuSimard]

Approaching women is legally terrifying.

[@frederickburke9944]

Dating in a America has a long history. What used to be called courting (before telephones) involved a boy going to girl's home, often uninvited, and trying to get her to sit on the porch with him or invite him inside. It was even harder than calling her on the phone or going up to her in a bar.

[@DanielH874]

It boils down to a simple cost/benefit analysis. Previously the fear of approaching a woman was the possibility of rejection or ridicule. If you were a decently well-adjusted man you could handle that rejection or ridicule, move on with your life and try again. Not a big deal. Now the consequences of rejection may carry a far greater consequence. Being accused of sexual harassment, being ridiculed beyond the vicinity of the approach, threat of job loss, attacks against reputation and even possible civil litigation against you. A lot of rational men look at those consequences, throw in the towel and say why the hell would I bother. The risk is not worth taking on, so they won't engage. Furthermore even if a man is successful in attracting a mate and starting a family the consequences of that family breakdown down the road is absolutely catastrophic. Upon a marriage breakdown the likely result is loss of possessions, paying child support for your children you get to see a lot less now, supporting your ex wife financially, and basically having to start life all over again. The majority of divorces are initiated by women and you can suffer the consequences listed above (and many more) even if you remained faithful, attentive, a good father, a provider and so forth. The idea of taking on such a grave loss when you did nothing egregious is absolutely horrifying so a lot of men are just flat out deciding the pursuit is not a logical path to take on. Until this is changed we are going to continue to see a societal breakdown in our values and society as a whole will decline. Sadly I feel as if this is all by deliberate design.

[@Tee55118]

Exactly. Modern dilusional women say, the worst that can happen is that she says, "No," the man respects that, and he moves on, and she does not shame or sue him. The fact is too much risk of social shame and legal hell until death.

[@GjVj]

Nailed it. And +1 to 'by design'. S'not an accident.

[@FlamingCockatiel]

I mentioned a shorter version of what you wrote in a reply to a woman on another video, trying to induce understanding. Her reply, paraphrased, was, "Whenever I hear men complaining about being victims, I roll my eyes." I'm trying to figure out if it was a real woman or a troll. I've always been aware of the size and strength difference between men and women, but I have never tried to be paranoid because of it. I'm trying to figure out the reasoning behind writing that it's lazy to say not all men are abusive but peak prudence and intelligence to have an attitude of guilty until proven innocent.

[@jasonmartinez9051]

It's more difficult if you live in a dense city. People are accustomed to walking past several dozen strangers everyday and not acknowledging them. If one of them approaches you and speaks to you, you may be tempted to think that they want something from you, such as directions or a financial contribution to some charity. If you're a woman, you may think "Why is this strange guy talking to me? What does he want?"

[@BLACKAAROW]

I would say that's true for the most part. I live in NYC and women in my age bracket (i'm 29) barely even look at you, smile, say hello etc so it's hard to even have an interaction even in places like bars etc

[@fuzzypanda1684]

I'd argue it's easier in a big city. You can talk to as many girls as you want without repercussion, and if you've put time into making yourself attractive, you might get some results. In a smaller town, you'll get a reputation really fast and soon every girl will avoid you like the plague.

[@jasonmartinez9051]

@@fuzzypanda1684 You can talk to many, many girls, true. You'll probably end up making lots and lots of short, 30 to 60 second conversations but will they lead to a date? I'd say probably not. You can make yourself attractive (nice hair style, nice clothes, etc) but women usually gauge men by status, personality, mental strength, physical strength, wit... lots of variables. It's difficult to display all of those features in a brief encounter. In a small town, you only have to worry about a reputation if it's a bad one. However, in a big city you have a myriad of potential dates. In a small town, you'll probably run through the dating pool very fast and when you're done then you're out of options.

[@pure_awareness]

from my experience living in a medium to small town the girls have all disappeared onto only fans, and if they want to hook up with anyone its as simple as posting a pic on IG or opening a dating app to check for hundreds of messages from simps for a quick one. where as the normal hard working traditional local man has no options other than to be single or play the stupid dating game for delusional women

[@PaulHirsh]

Please don't say thermodynamics when you mean dynamics.

[@longhairdontcareiify]

But more syllables means more sophisticated, surely!

[@aaronglacier9213]

The sound quality of this is video is so supreme. Like it’s so not noisy and your voices are so cleanly conveyed it’s really nice to like listen to

[@dareedle]

Until women realize that the social contract of marriage for life has been broken by feminism, there is no incentive for men to approach women. Dating Apps provide plenty of available sex partners, not ideal long term relationship partners. Like many other things, women want their cake and eat it, great career and be supermom, make equal pay but expect a great choice of attractive men their age who make twice their income and pays for everything.

[@loveyourketo1433]

Wow dude you need to talk to some women out there

[@danielevilone]

​@@loveyourketo1433 You too...

[@bernibeckmann9753]

The internet has exposed women for how they actually think and behave. The cat, no pun intended, is out of the bag. Back in my day there was still some mystery about women. If I were young today I'm not sure how I would navigate the gender situation but playing it safe seems like a very good option. I would not approach unless green lights were flashing like crazy and then I would have other concerns. While not always ideal, going it alone is better for me, the woman, the potential offspring and the planet.

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

They weren't always like this. Most people's behaviors/preferences are socially conditioned by their environment or surroundings. I know for a fact because I used to chat with women online way before any social media or dating apps became mainstream. They were less judgy, discriminatory, uptight, picky when it came to meeting new people. Things changed a lot after dating apps became popular..

[@bernibeckmann9753]

@@Ghostrider-ul7xn No, there's a certain way women think. Just like there's a certain way men think. Being a man, men weren't too much of a mystery to me. Women were a mystery because I wasn't having deep and honest conversations with many of them. In other words they wouldn't show their cards. Now there are endless videos online where women reveal who they are and what they want and who they want it from. There's this unfortunate cliche in the culture (as long as I've been alive) that says all men care about is getting laid, which isn't completely true. But now I see this unfortunate cliche in the culture that says all women care about is getting a top 10% man and social status and validation for physical beauty and moral virtue and "equality" while being provided for if choosing to not work etc. which is mostly true. Until they lose their power. And then they just become bitter and pathetic. Not all of them but it seems like a trend.

[@duraace2053]

He is asking the wrong person. She is very happy with guys keeping to themselves and not bothering women. Her primary concerns is for women's safety

[@TheRealPDizzle]

I disagree slightly with your premise. Yes, you are correct in stating she's the wrong person to ask. However, her primary concern doesn't seem to be that for women's safety, but rather for their security and entitlement to men's finances. She clearly outs herself in her train of logic. She declares that marriage is merely an economical strategy, and that looking for further spiritual or emotional sustenance is unrealistic and immature. Who is typically the primary earner in most marriages? The man. So then, we see that by her definition, marriage is a contractual obligation in which the male subsidizes the woman by proxy of the "family unit" in exchange for some other thing. Later on, she confesses in her belief, that now because men are disengaging from marriage at an alarming rate, we might consider returning to arranged marriages, to ensure that this contract endures. What was the quote she so enthusiastically supplied? "Traditions are just experiments that worked," I believe? Her primary concern is in ensuring the tradition of males providing all of their resources to females is protected. Men pulling away from relationships and marriage ultimately means men pulling away from financial obligations to women. She's so concerned about this that she's willing to agree to arranged marriages to ensure that contract. This isn't about women's safety. It's about stifling male autonomy.

[@chukky1124]

34 years old , had 2 relationships of about half a year, both cheated on me. so in my head if it happened twice. im the one to blame probably. so i stopped even appraoching i will not stay at work when there is only a woman left so avoid getting called a rapist.and im happy living alone with my kitty. so i will safe myself the pain of feeling not worth it anymore and will die happy single.

[@Cotictimmy]

“The blast radius of THAT signal….” 🤣

[@Spaceshps]

The worse thing is a group of women chatting in the bar revealing their weapons and makes a friendly eye contact toward you. You makes your move, buy their round of expensive spirits then their boyfriend bikies shows up. Hell break loose.

[@chrisd2121]

Interesting discussion. Chris you are an articulate, well thought man. Louise is also great. Need to listen to more of her content. Keep it up and keep those great guests coming.

[@yaazarai]

Even after spending 2-3 years in the gym, I am pretty skilled in calisthenics, muscular and at minimum average looking... And even then approaching women is just a chore. Knowing the difference between "I'm smiling at you to be nice so I can escape," vs "I'm smiling at you because there's something here," is a fine line that's just a pain in the ass to navigate.

[@tonyadams8812]

Personally , I go to the gym to get stronger and improve my health. It never ever enters my mind to approach women in the gym. But I guess that's me being a middle aged man who has got to the stage of life where I genuinely feel very content with being single which means having the freedom to do whatever I want to do.

[@Joe-fj6dj]

I think We all had “im smiling at you be nice so I can escape” type lmao lol

[@samcurtisrobinson]

The trick is to just keep it effortless, have a non threatening feel about you. Women can sense that and if they sense you’re indifferent about them and just being friendly, 99% of the time they’ll be polite back to you

[@OmegaSaiyan92]

i really despise that we have to work off of signals, like I have aspergers, so signals are a no-go for me

[@macmcleod1188]

If it helps, women give mixed signals. They even make mixed direct statements. You have to look at the actions they do instead of the words they say. For example, you say "I'm going to the lake to fish, do you want to go?" If they talk about how they love fishing but don't go- that's the action. If they go, that's the action. Saying, "I don't have time" is them saying, "I don't want to" because when they do want to, then they make time. And for bonus times, the woman doesn't know it herself sometimes. She's saying and thinking one thing, but her actions show her inner thoughts and desires which she may be unaware of at a conscious level. It's a mess.

[@zusk8556]

Honestly probably better off man.

[@mikeatwill7064]

I empathize with you. I gave up after women still can't say what they mean and mean what they say. They dont tend to use logic. Instead, it's fluctuating feelings in real time. I don't even look at them anymore because if she changes her mind..... meetoo accusation. this is about power. I just won't play and I'll protect my own power. I use it by telling people to f off. You haven't earned my trust.

[@gimlarquinn3622]

Find someone else on the spectrum. I did. It worked for me and my husband. We didn't play social games. We're always honest with each other. It also helped that we were introduced by a mutual friend.

[@Zoetherat]

To my knowledge, I'm neurotypical and i still can't pick up on their subtle signals (except in hindsight, by which point it's too late).

[@tensecondbuickgn]

I went to Vietnam to find a partner. My wife is from Hanoi. Our culture is an absolute clown-show! It starts with feminism and ends with simps...

[@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099]

For a few generations now kids living with struggling parents haven't had the attention and guidance needed to form healthy bonds with others. The problem gets worse with each subsequent generation. Healthy people sense the weirdness in these hapless souls and back away, reinforcing the isolation and disconnect. Dating sites are the embodiment of gaslighting, confusing everyone, pitting men and women against each other. How wonderful it would be if we could all just venture out each day practicing kindness, expecting nothing in return.

[@annedobson-mack3688]

The whole outrage over “slut shaming” just doesn’t make sense. If you dress like someone who wants sexual attention in public and expect people to interact with you as if you were not dressed to get sexual attention, you are being so unreasonable that you should be ashamed of your own stupidity.

[@danielschiman767]

Exactly.

[@manifest2203]

Not really. How women dress should be up to them.

[@ruffledsasquatch2943]

It IS up to them, and dressing up in an extremely sexuallized manner will get them sexual attention. They need to stop complaining that they are being treated as how they present themselves. If I dress up as a security guard and stand next to business entrances, I don't have the right to complain when I get approached like a security guard would. If they dress up in an overtly sexual manner, they have NO REASON to complain about being approached in a sexual context. Its pretty simple, common-sense stuff. Now, if she's NOT presenting herself in a sexual manner and context, THAT'S when there's reason to complain. I'd hear those complaints out, because they're legitimate. The problem seems to be that a lot of women think that showing more skin than a bathing suit, discarding any sense of modesty, throwing out inhibitions, and freely engaging in sexuallized activities "doesn't count" as being overtly sexual, until the one that they want acts on it.

[@number-uz1es]

I mean if I worked years on my body because I used to be a fatty then imma flaunt that shit sorry

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@number-uz1es Do you lack the ability to introspect?

[@a2d]

My parents met because my mom lived in a small town and my dad was a traveling sales rep for a car parts company. Her town was part of his territory and word got out a single man was in town so my mom found him and started hitting on him. So basically the community connected them. That was almost 50 years ago and they are still together ❤

[@M4dM4n96]

Travelling sales rep = serial killer

[@ridethelapras]

@@M4dM4n96 serial (lady) killer

[@QKuKier]

an outsider ventures into town, gets the bitches; classic western tale

[@SirWhiteRabbit-gr5so]

" Hello, HR? "

[@m_jay5]

Modern women are wondering why men aren't approaching them anymore to ask them out? Yeah "MeToo" (see what I did there) I was wondering the same thing

[@patrickarmstrong8908]

Men don't want to be accused of rape and have their life ruined for just saying "Hi, how are you?"

[@tonyadams8812]

💯💯💯💯👏👏👏👏

[@elnathanmaduhu3689]

Africa has no such issues 😢😢

[@gf6x3gkmfw38]

I'm sure they wouldn't. But that isn't a thing that happens. Touch grass.

[@patrickarmstrong8908]

@@gf6x3gkmfw38 Hyperbole. Something as innocent as placing one's hand on a woman's back momentarily to guide her to where she needs to stand for a company group photo has gotten men called in to HR for sexual assault. Nothing sexual about it.

[@derekfoehr9264]

A lot of men don't care for modern women and all the BS that comes along with them. We just do'n't want to deal with the issues and drama.

[@Lovecove4]

Then don’t nobody forcing you lol

[@Joshua-eo5hr]

​@@Lovecove4 Who said they were?

[@Lovecove4]

@@Joshua-eo5hr then don’t lol

[@Mark-nx7mr]

@@Lovecove4 English much?

[@Lovecove4]

English mush? no coprendo