Why autistic people stim

[@kalt1976]

I find it fascinating how, when first exploring the notion that I might be autistic, I came across information on stimming and thought "I don't have any stims at all, so I guess I am not autistic after all". Then I remembered that hm.. actually.. coming to think of it, I ofte wring my hands.. and oh, my leg is always bouncing.. and I rub my index finger over my thumbnail.. and I sway from side to side if I am stranding still.. and I rock.. and ... and... and. I have sooooo many stims and I never realised it before. That blows my mind 🤯

[@aldencrispin1086]

How interesting, it’s the opposite for me, I’d never really seen anyone else stim before and thought it was just something odd only I did. Then I saw a video talking about stimming, and that started me on my journey of looking into autism

[@kalt1976]

@@aldencrispin1086 It is fascinating how many different paths lead to realisation ❤

[@aldencrispin1086]

@@kalt1976 Yup!

[@TurtlesRockALot]

I've just gone thru the exact same journey!

[@alisonwhite9588]

Same!

[@toliveischrist950]

The private dance parties in my room and my rebounder always makes me feel better! More peaceful and grounded.

[@HollyOly]

Works great for dogs! Watch them “shake off” pent up energy, especially after a stressful moment or as a pause in playing. ❤

[@jarmoliebrand2005]

I had this swinging chair at the holiday destination we just left yesterday. And I basically used that thing every time we were in our apartment.

[@Ayverie4]

I'm autistic with chronic fatigue. So I thought I didn't stim. I didn't relate to that when exploring whether I'm autistic. But upon paying attention, and remembering from when I was younger, I've always been a leg-shaker, loved rocking chairs, etc. And on the odd occasion I DO feel well, I have noticed since tuning in to the fact that I'm autistic that I do want to do larger movements. But, I haven't explored this at all so it's just weird random movements lol.

[@Captaintrippz]

Go for it! The worst thing I experienced as a child (ignoring non YT friendly topics) was the constant conditioning to not stim, I didn't realize back then how much rocking and leg jittering calmed me down and much of my teenage years were spent as a complete nervous wreck due to all this pent up, idk anxiety I suppose. Stim free and proud my friend. But seriously, They wouldn't even let me sit with one foot in the seat of my chair, I suppose it was the pressure that I found comforting. 25 years later and I'm still far too annoyed about it.

[@sandra.helianthus]

With heavy (ME/CFS) fatigue here too. Can't move a limb sometimes- but yet, a wide movement stim feels soo good and I feel a regulatory shift in my body.

[@gabeangel8104]

I also have fairly severe ME as well as a few other disabling conditions. I had been shamed and disciplined out of most of my more overt stims as a child but a few years ago I started consciously learning to let myself stim. Unfortunately I've also found that some of the things that really help me are things that my body very often isn't able to do, which sucks. It feels kinda unfair, doesn't it, to have been denied the right to do what we needed to by others when we were young, and then when we are old enough to make decisions for ourselves, our bodies aren't able to do it anymore anyway! At least there are some things I can do though, and my grandkids think I'm so much fun to visit because they get to raid my shelf of stim toys. I showed my grandson my lava lamp for the first time the other day (it's usually not been turned on while he's here) and he was like 'you have a volcano!' 😂

[@sandra.helianthus]

@@gabeangel8104 ❤️

[@Jewlz4ever]

I used to have chronic fatigue and then hired a health coach who told me it’s because I’m lacking minerals. She told me to start taking organ supplements (very high in minerals) and start drinking Humic/Fulvic acid (very high in minerals), and put pink salt in my water. It has been nothing short of life changing!

[@jenniferbaker1004]

I didn't know I was stimming until my friend, who is autistic, told me that's what I was doing.

[@alrighttumbleweed4782]

I do stealthy overt stims because depending on which roommates i have it's not always safe for me to do mine in a visible way. Jumping up and down doesn't look like a stim if you jump rope. Hanging off furniture looks like calisthenics if you put a yoga mat underneath. If you like hanging upside down theres a way to do this by resting shoulders on yoga blocks and walking up the wall so you can just hang out upside down and say youre practicing yoga inversions Rowing machine is a more discreet alternative to rocking back and forward. Swaying from leg to leg looks like exercise if you use a hula hoop

[@siennaprice1351]

I love my stims. Some of my stims are self injurious stims. Hitting, pinching, scratching, biting, stuff like that. Some of that isn’t just due to autism, it can be due to CPTSD. If I’m having flashbacks, I might hit myself. I’m doing my best to use replacement behaviors for this. I love using sensory brushes or my anemone mittens. And it reminds me, “this is what nice hands feel like.” Or being that I love music so much, replacing hitting or biting myself by using a frame drum and playing rhythmic patterns. Now, I don’t think crying is a stim, even though I do cry a lot. But the rest of my stims that are not self injurious, I love them. I also love to touch and feel and explore everything within my reach. This is something I need to do.

[@_lyraspan]

this is very accurate! i guess i sort of beat it out of myself so now i have to remind myself to do larger stims and i suddenly feel so much less dead

[@maryamnelson8063]

SO many positive changes. I didn’t feel like I was suffocating or slowly melting/dying inside myself; I could focus for longer periods of time and stay grounded; I could just feel myself/my body more and my emotions are always able to more easily move through me when I do it.

[@wcamp64]

I think an important one to talk about is pain stimming. I think there is a lot of shame associated with it, and I haven't found much information for those struggling with skin picking, hand hitting, lip bitting/cheek chewing, or other stims. Or ones that have negative consequences such as teeth grinding leading to headaches or tooth sensitivity. When I realized that skin picking was actually a stim, it made so much sense as to why when I was overwhelmed, I couldn't stop doing it. As a high masking undiagnosed individual, it's probably the only stim I did growing up as I suppressed all other behavior out of fear. The shame growing up with that was miserable and damaged my self-esteem. I had the skin picking that made me 'ugly'. My mother would shout how I was mentally ill and mutilating myself. My dad would yell at me, too. But because I was already masking so much behavior, I just couldn't stop myself. It was a regulatory behavior that people accepted as a bad habit. I could use makeup or clothing to hide it. But it simultaneously created more shame and anxiety. Now that I'm trying to engage in other stimming behavior its hard not to revert to harmful behavior. But finding new stims is somewhat helping me let go of old behavior and be more forgiving with myself. Now, when I have the urge to inflict pain, I can recognize it as my body and / or mind becoming overwhelmed, not just a bad complusive behavior. Understanding why it happens helps me be kinder and try to implement replacement stims, although it's a slow and difficult process. Really bad days or weeks lead to regression. I think it's also important to talk about stimming and regression. Individuals might have a spell of being just fine with minimal stimming behavior. However, the next day, it might be a very stimmy day due to the environment or mental load. I think I'm currently in burn out and have had regression in executive function abilities and also the urge to stim seems to be nonstop some days. This can be frustrating because I'm still trying to work on developing healthier stims. So, during this period, stimming isn't relaxing. It's become distracting as I have to actively find a more suitable stim for myself and when out in public. I think that people tend to highlight masking vs good stimming but not so much the negitive personal consequences or mental associations an individual might struggle with as they try to stim more openly. Unmasking and altering harmful stim behavior can often feel like an invisible mental weight that affects every second of your day. As someone who suppressed stims for so long, when I realize I am doing it, it feels foreign and wrong. Using that mental energy even just to remind myself that its okay and this behavior is normal is hard

[@paulinejulien9191]

That’s very relatable. I also picked my skin throughout my life for the ‘good pain’ it caused and was told off for it by my parents but couldn’t stop… haven’t yet found a suitable replacement though 😢 I’ve been wearing plasters/bandages on my thumbs almost daily for months, otherwise it would just get out of control!

[@aldencrispin1086]

I started hiding my stims as a kid for various reasons. When COVID came, and I was home all the time i decided to start doing big stims (i also stopped holding my face all the time) again, at first just by myself. And oh my goodness, it made SUCH a big difference! I decided to slowly start doing it in front of my family too. Now i do whatever stim i feel like most of the time, i do still hide some when im out. And i know not everyone has the luxury to be able to stim how, and when they want, but take it from someone who pretty much has been the last four years, it is so worth it to get comfortable with stimming again, and to incorporate it into life as much as possible.

[@jillthetree9173]

I am learning that lesson now ! I don't want to crack my knuckles or bite my cheek anymore. I haven't found my overt stim yet, so I very much appreciate this video and your kind words :O) wish me luck !

[@itisdevonly]

I became a lot more regulated in my nervous system when I relearned overt stimming. I've always done the little stuff, but the big stims I stopped doing after childhood, because I was afraid of being called weird. It wasn't until I worked with a somatic coach to address my CPTSD that I understood that I needed to listen to my body and follow its lead and allow the energy to flow through me.

[@Jewlz4ever]

I recently started bouncing on a rebounder and I LOVE it! It also healed my hip pain.

[@username46100]

Great video, and yeah what you say. I've suppressed stimming, as I thought it was only a sign of nervousness (older adult) and I was punished very young for rocking. But the past few months, I've allowed myself to stim (and rock), privately, and it helps so much! I've become a bit more comfortable doing stimming around my spouse. I didn't realize that I was doing the toe crunching until I started having problems with my toe, one of them is arthritis. Similar with my hands, I've recently developed arthritis (older adult), and honestly I think that awkwardly clamping my hands together when I've been in front of others has contributed to the "wear and tear" aspect of my finger osteoarthritis. I'm now learning what to do with my hands when I'm with others/in public so that I don't hurt my fingers.

[@Olivesmallplate]

Thanks!

[@ThoughtfulSparrow]

This is such a good video! A month into discovering I am autistic and I didn't think I stimmed, then I caught myself tapping my fingertips together, rubbing my fingers, tapping my toes and drumming on the table, all things I've done all my life. I started running when I was 39 and I have never felt more calm and centred than after running a stupid distance and exhausting myself to the point that I had no nervous energy left.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🌟 👉 Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Understanding Autism here: momonthespectrum.life/guide 🥳

[@neuroqueercoach]

My covert stim is waving my toes (not sure that's the right word, but yeah), and my overt stim that's more general movement instead of heavily distressed is kinda like that wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. It freaks my cats out, so I definitely do it when alone. I think a not small portion of my chronic pain might be from trying to keep myself from stimming.

[@jarmoliebrand2005]

I do some larger stims, when I’m alone. One thing I’ve done quite often is (poorly) acting out the choreography of a fight scene. That’s always quite calming.

[@robbiegibson4112]

I've always been "athletic" in other words always actively involved in moving heavy weight or running miles....steam rooms and even the Olympic pool and regular Tae Kwon Do classes at night full contact Boxing, Tae Kwon Do..Muay Thai...Jiu-Jitsu etc in the day...but we never had to go full contact unless someone was training for a pro fight or something but we went very hard ....bunch of people got injured learning how to implement excellent techniques not even using full contact. I am going to focus on one important thing like you suggested on another post...I need to change my morning routine back to the way it was....before I got sick from the hernia. Then spend time in prayer and meditation and then get that sunlight in the face to correct my circadian rhythm again. I have been staying up to late drinking black coffee for no good reason. I am bored as can be out here......I miss the city lights like a lost lover...crazy isn't it...the life of a city we grow to know so well. Have a blessed day and I will message you about the groups. I would be terrified but, love it I hope.

[@Rezin_8]

❤😂 I noticed my unnoticed stems while watching me on an interview on 8x speed 😂🐙 my hands were EVERYWHERE 😂

[@laurenlowery5799]

I constantly shake my right foot when sitting..which greatly annoys others. It's soothing to me. If I'm in line I sway from side to side ..I have a difficult time standing still...which drives me crazy. I love rocking chairs. My big stim is when I am feeling especially stressed or anxious about something I rock back and forth for hours while listening to the same song. When I'm done I feel so much better...but also feel bad because I think it's weird to have to do it. I've been rocking back and forth since I was 4.....I was so stressed out at 4 I had to get an adrenaline shot weekly to help with my asthma..the shots made me hallucinate terrible things directly afterwards. I also had to have chiropractic adjustments weekly to help me relax. I was such a stressed little kid.

[@cynthiabohli-nelson1824]

I have been collecting things from around the house that I thought had good stimming potential & putting them in a basket. So far a smooth heart has been a favorite. I also just bought Rubik's cube, which I love even though I can't figure it out! Also bought a mini waffle blocks set from Target's dollar spot. I am planning to take Tai Chi again, since I love the movement & feeling of being centered & grounded.

[@saffsholistichealth]

For me when I was in my teens I moved out excess energy and emotion out of my body through yoga and if I needed to cry or scream I'd do so in my room for a good hour or two

[@robbiegibson4112]

Thank you for talking about this. Yes....I feel like a live nerve...some asshole keeps knocking me off of your page. I'm sorry for cussing. Took 15 minutes to get back to the video...garbage people send me ....I need to learn more about this about me...thank you so much.

[@gtptvanbuuren3795]

Thank you. Very helpful.

[@bes03c]

I lean my back against protruding corners on walls to self massage. Working on a knot is satisfying. I do it mostly subconsciously especially while I am teaching.

[@kensears5099]

I started the invisible toe-scrunching years and years ago. Had no idea why. Only knew I just HAD to sometimes or I'd go out of my mind.

[@BuckeBoo]

As a kid I would squeeze air between my gums and cheeks. 😂. I’m a bouncing legs, finger tapping, fidget toy playing with my hands… adult

[@Roshi_Goth]

I do a lot of hand and finger tutting and do a lot of gloving movements. People just think I’m a raver (which I am and I’m also stimming). 🥷

[@joshberkesch680]

Look forward to meeting someone like you myself, agree w all your comments

[@FulanitoDTal-Lugar]

after talking to my gf like the well-regulated mature adult that I am (nott! 😄....😔), everything is fine, and I can't wait to show her this video because she's still in the beginning of realizing she's one of the individuals that make up the great autism that emerges from our collective powerrrr. stim for our greater consciousnessss 🙇🙋🙇💁🙇🤷🙅🙆 ok, but for real, thank you for your videos 🙂

[@saffsholistichealth]

I saw ur cat t-shirt "room for yr weirdness" I'm defo getting it 😂❤

[@thattitus2life]

I’ve been doing this now. It is awkward at first. But very satisfying!

[@paulinejulien9191]

I’ve always stimmed in various ways but since my diagnosis in February I’ve tried to incorporate bigger ones in my life. I just wish I felt that huge relief that everyone’s talking about 😂 maybe I’m too disconnected from my body to really feel the benefits. I also have CPTSD.

[@passaggioalivello]

My stims were often brutally repressed.

[@vitordelima]

It gets dangerously close to self-harm sometimes.

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

@@vitordelima, I don’t know @passaggioalivello ‘s situation but your response is harsh. Even if someone’s stims are approaching selfharm, brutality isn’t an appropriate response. Brutalizing children is abuse. I was brutalized for thumb sucking. My mother considered it justified because thumb sucking might negatively impact the way my adult teeth would come in. Truth is, if thumb sucking didn’t have potential dental ramifications, she would have brutalized me for it for annoying her or for embarrassing her in public for being too old to such my thumb. Unless it’s secondary to performing CPR to save a life, brutalizing a child is never justified.

[@vitordelima]

@@bryonyvaughn2427 When you repress it, it becomes almost *self*-harm.

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

@@vitordelima Ok, I got you. That makes sense. That can be an awful path to go down. I’ve seen it with hair picking that was shamed so the girl started skin picking on her feet where no one could see. It got so bad she couldn’t walk and crawled around her bedroom and used a wheelchair elsewhere until she healed. That was brutal indeed

[@TheLightnoise]

thankyou . i will try this ( behind closed door)

[@anna-marianunezvega1520]

I'm literally stimming all the time. My favourite stimm is twirling my hair, but not in a socially acceptable way. So I only do it at home (my Dad used to hate it his whole life). When I'm in social situations, I keep on rocking my legs, play around with my ring or some other object like a random pen. Only found out I'm auDHD recently and I'm actually unsure if my constant stimming is also related to hyperactivity

[@tedblack2288]

For decades, I have used the rocking chair as part of my decompression process.

[@user-no2mz9hl4f]

I really like to spin side to side. I do it all the time without thinking about it.

[@_BO.]

2 thoughts of a late diagnosed autistic AUD(h)D woman here: 1) I think a lot of autistic folks have been told by their parents to act 'normal', were punished for "socially unexcepted" behaviour and therefore learned to suppress their stims. One of the reasons why I'm against ABA. I do believe stimming is healthy. 2) When other people are stimming, it's getting on my nerves pretty easily. So I figured that parents who are (unknowingly) on the spectrum themselves, are hypothetically easier annoyed by the people around them when they are moving repeatedly or do other stims and that can be another reason why children of autistic parents are being told "don't do that!". --> I try to allow myself now to stim now, although it feels uncomfortable after masking for almost 40 years. I'm experimenting with 'healthy' stims to replace the unhealthy (binge eating). In retrospective, I see not only my own stimming, but I also see why a familymember is so attached to smoking: for her it's clearly a energy-outlet, a stimula-regulator. Each time she's overwhelmed, so goes smoking. I'ts been a wild ride to discover what Autism really is. And to learn to embrace it is a process... I learn more everyday! Thank you MomOnTheSpectrum

[@ufcoque8697]

Now that I'm finally, slowly but surely, taking off my mask, I realized I've invented new stims. Like sticking my tongue out, its so embarrassing, but I can't control it. It's a happy stim. I do it when I listen to music, for exmbl.

[@ohenebaofori-akuffo8538]

It's effects are so quick I'm always surprised

[@saffsholistichealth]

Only recently I more understand why I tend to have eoey sooo much energy in my body or it can be the other way round!

[@TurtlesRockALot]

With the idea of moving energy and regulating - what's the difference between large overt stims and say something like an energetic yoga session? I also get acupuncture regularly for migraine management and i find it is so grounding when I'm flying high on cortisol and adrenaline. Is there a parallel here to stims?

[@carolinedurocher8377]

So clear

[@TheGritherr]

👍

[@Michael_H_Nielsen]

I drum. thank you :)

[@kensears5099]

Since my autism discovery in May '23, I have ve-e-e-ery graduatlly, and not without a degree of resistance (who wants to look "weird"?) discovered my essential stimming. And how profoundly, how jolting, viscerally, yet with its own strange flood of relief, it has been revealed to me (via floods of recollections and sense-memories coming back to me) that it was there ALL. THE. TIME. Tapping, spinning, blinking, echolalia (audible and mental), finger-flipping (like impulsive pointing at nothing), and more. These things have caused me embarrassment and humiliation all my life. What was I THINKING? How did I ever think "No, don't be silly, not me, you'd never catch me dead doing that." And you know what? I've not only had this epiphany that, yes, I do that. I've also discovered why. I mean of course more than just "Because you're autistic--duhh!" Yes, that, sure. But I mean I've discovered psycho-emotionally and physically why, disovered what it DOES for me. Something I kind of always knew sub-verbally but never had the cognitive equipment to process. You know what stimming does for me (I'm writing this to see if it will resonate with others)? It settles my "gut." It floods a kind of inner, visceral place of frenetic...what can I call it..."uncertainty," or "moorlessness" (unmoored, flailingness, like an astronaut on a spacewalk severed from his lifeline)--it floods that spot with calm, a visceral, even intoxicating peace and comfort, a kind of relocation and re-acquaintance with self, like, yes, here I am, in this place right now where I'm me WITH me and it's okay. Words are so weak but this is my stumbling attempt to convey it. I'm developing a strategy in life, where I'll allow my stimming far fuller play now, in private, now that I need not fear it anymore. In public, sure, tone it wa-a-a-y down. But even toning it down in public is easier once you know why, i.e., not because you're ashamed of yourself for it (even in private) but just because there are places where certain behaviors are less appropriate. There are plenty of things we do in private that we don't do in public, after all--like brushing our teeth. Somehow just plain knowing that "It's okay, I CAN stim when I'm alone," serves a psycho-visceral tension release, and strengthens my navigation of the world outside.

[@BCSchmerker]

+momonthespectrum *I feel no improvements or regressions in overt stims.*

[@robbiegibson4112]

And learn more about all of us....

[@anthonyrowland9072]

The thumbnail hadn't even rendered yet...

[@CMR52-uq1ko]

Tooth grinding