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Why Do INFJs and INFPs Get Obsessed with Their Crushes? INFJs and INFPs experience intense attraction with crushes, to the point where it doesn’t feel like “just a crush.” Instead, it can feel like a full-blown obsession with the other person. We can’t stop thinking about them and we can’t stop wondering what they are like and what they are doing every moment. This is because INFJs and INFPs are not attracted to outer identity (good looks, status, etc.). INFJs and INFPs are only attracted to the essence of the person (psychological traits and soul). INFJs and INFPs are also only attracted to those we deeply resonate with, and this is why our attractions have a truly “magnetic” quality. INFJs and INFPs are usually attracted to people with wounds that we want to help heal, and this is because we are natural healers. However, when we combine all these factors together, this leads to the INFJ or INFP experiencing intense attraction which then triggers our fear of abandonment. When fear of abandonment kicks in, we go into hyper-information-gathering mode, because we feel like knowing all the information about a person helps us be prepared for any type of abandonment (either the person leaving or rejecting us). We have a fear of missing information and of being blindsided. Intense attraction also pushes INFJs and INFPs into overwhelm and then we feel out of control. We feel that if we have all the information about the person, we will be able to stay in control, and this is why we get “obsessed.”
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